#n now just. looking back ik i've gone a long way. n just reading this from the past makes me really proud of myself

[noxtivagus]

it's actually really adorable reading my notes while i was going through heavensward for the first time

[enha-hype]

maeumi & me - ch 29 : outrageous conclusions

a/n : the wait is finally over y'all!! i'm so sorry ik it's been almost a year since i updated this sgtsbdkdks. make sure to go read the previous chapter(s) as a recap since it's been so long :3

w.c. : 1.3k

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Jungwon hadn’t been home when you had gone over in the morning to see Maeumi. You were a little disappointed, because you’d been looking forward to your usual weekend routine – taking Maeumi to the dog park together and watching him play while you both sat and talked at one of the benches. But more than the disappointment, worry had started to eat its way up your stomach – was he okay? Why had he left so abruptly the other day? Why hadn’t he contacted you since? And then you saw Jay’s tweets, and you were both relieved and concerned. Relieved that whatever it was, he wasn’t as bad off as your wild imaginations had proclaimed, and concerned because he did still seem upset nevertheless.

Now you stand in front of his door, uncertain.

What exactly are you gonna say or do when you don’t even know what the problem is? You kind of just showed up here without much of a plan. Sure you could ask him, but you don’t wanna push if he’d rather not talk about it. And how will you even know if he just wants to be left alone? He’d probably be too polite to say so. Ah, whatever. You’re here already, you might as well try. You take a deep breath and ring the doorbell.

Jungwon’s eyes widen in surprise for just a second before quickly reverting to implacable indifference. “Did you leave something?” he asks in a stiff voice, looking back into the house as if to check, but not really checking. Huh. Very subtle why are you here. You’re not used to him being like this.

“Umm no, I came to see how you were doing?” you reply, slightly offended.

He looks past you at the lamppost outside. “I'm fine.”

“O. . . kay.” You stand there awkwardly, not really sure you should do this anymore. You study his face as he keeps his eyes fixedly on the spot behind you to avoid meeting yours. Maeumi comes out to greet you then and you scoop him up, eager to dispel the awkwardness. At least someone's happy to see me, you think. Then you remind yourself why you're here. Maybe he's just feeling grumpy because he's in a bad mood; you probably shouldn't take it personally.

You let Maeumi down after giving him a few scratches and clear your throat. “You don’t seem fine, Won,” you start again, reaching out and taking his hand. “I mean you left kind of abruptly the other day and you haven't responded to any of my calls or texts . . . Whatever it is, you know you can talk to me right?”

He clenches his jaw. God, you’re making this so much harder for him. It feels so painfully good to have his hand in yours. He wants to lace his fingers with yours but instead he pulls away – you can't keep doing this. “You don't have to do this anymore.”

“Do what?” you demand, trying not to think about how it stung to have him snatch his hand away from yours.

He finally looks you in the eye, a mix of resignation and determination in them. He knows that if he wants to get this over with as soon as possible he has to be firm and harsh, like ripping off a bandaid. There's no other way. He can't let this continue. He has to set clear boundaries. “Look, I don't know if you're doing it on purpose or if I have just horribly misunderstood everything and deluded myself into some fantasyworld and if it's the latter I apologise for all that I've said and done when I was under the impression that you liked me too. But if you did do it all on purpose out of some twisted sense of gratitude because you feel like you owe me or some shit or for fear that I wouldn't take as good care of Maeumi as I have been until now if you didn't reciprocate my feelings then rest assured that I am not that kind of a person. I will continue to take good care of him for your three years of university like I promised so please, you can stop pretending you like me.”

What . . . the actual fuck? You're so confused at first that it takes a few seconds for you to process what he just said. Your anger steadily rises as the words sink in. What exactly is he insinuating?

“Excuse me?” You glare at him, waiting for him to retract, say he was mistaken, anything, because you still can't quite wrap your head around all that you've just heard but he just returns your stare, unflinching. “Did you hit your head somewhere? Who fed you all this bullshit?”

“Bullshit? Fine, if that's what we're gonna call it. But you said it yourself so I don’t know what else to think,” he snaps, his icy stare still not leaving yours.

What the hell is he talking about? “Said what myself?”

“It doesn't matter.”

“Well I beg to dif–”

“I heard what you said to Heeseung the other day. That you don't like me. That you just feel bad because I’m sweet to you and take good care of Maeumi. That ring a bell?”

You go red in the face, partly from embarrassment - he heard that? - but mostly from rage. You most definitely did not say you felt bad for him although yes, you had said you didn't like him. But was it not obvious that you didn't mean it? Did the past few months mean nothing to him? You had almost kissed the night before for God's sake! And yet his immediate conclusion upon hearing it was what, that you had just faked it all for your own selfish gain? Shouldn't he have talked to you first before jumping to such outrageous conclusions?

You clench your teeth. “I lied to Heeseung.”

He blinks, his face going blank like he hadn't considered that. “What?” The determined look from earlier falters, replaced by a flicker of doubt.

“I said I lied,” you snap.

“And you expect me to believe that?”

“You know what Jungwon, I don't care what you choose to believe. Clearly coming here was a big mistake. But for what it's worth – not that it's any of your business listening in on us like that – yes I did lie then because maybe I just wasn't ready to admit the truth to him or to myself, you ever think about that? Maybe feelings are complicated, and maybe I was overwhelmed because I haven't ever felt so much for someone before, and maybe I needed some time to sit with it before going around proclaiming it to everyone. Of course, he ended up seeing right through me anyway but you know what? Now I'm not so sure it was a lie anymore. I can't believe that's what you thought of me after everything. I came here thinking that maybe you needed some help cheering up after seeing Jay's tweets but this has been very enlightening. Thank you, Yang Jungwon for this eye-opener.” With that, you whip around to leave. You're not quite sure what you're going to do about the Maeumi situation just yet but you'll figure that out later.

Jungwon stays frozen in his doorway for a few seconds watching your retreating back as the gears in his head turn. Well fuck this is BAD. Why did the possibility that you could have lied never cross his mind? I mean, all the signs did say you liked him too up until that point. God, you must think he's such an asshole and he can't even blame you.

“Y/n, wait!” He shuts the door behind him and runs after you.

You trudge on ahead without responding, still fuming.

“Y/n, please just hear me out!” Jungwon picks up his pace to catch up with you. He doesn't know what the hell he's going to say or how exactly he's going to fix this. All he knows is that he can't let you go like this.

tag list : open [comment or send an ask to be added <3] @hiqhkey @i-yeseo @harperwasstaken1 @tomorrowbymoa-together @eloelooo @yjwluvr @rshmra @cholexc @hueningcry @luvnicho

[j2lx]

My Little Snack (Ryomen Sukuna x Reader Drabble)

Warnings: Sukuna has his own body but isn't in his true form, affectionate nibbling, nothing much really it's just fluffy and sweet

A/n: I'm sorry I've been gone for so long =( I've had exams and stuff for the past few weeks, but it's over now and I promise I'll post every week again! And ik I said I wanted to post hcs again, but I'm still kind of tired and no creative juices are flowing so here take this in the meantime =P

Ship: Ryomen Sukuna x Gender Neutral!Reader

@vanillabloo, this one's for you! Sorry it took so long to write =")

Sukuna loves you so very much. So much that he can't help but find you so darn adorable, too much for his heart to handle at times. And he definitely wants to nibble you sometimes. To him, that's something affectionate and it might sound weird but that's how it is for him.

Sukuna is gentle with you. He would never cause harm to you or hurt you. And his nibbles are just like that. Gentle, sweet and soft, no harshness or threats behind any of his actions. And soon enough you get used to it, letting him indulge in nibbling your ears, cheeks and basically every part of your body.

Every morning, when your alarm goes off, you start to get up slowly, not really wanting to leave your bed. Afterall, your boyfriend was warm and cuddly and the whole atmosphere was just so… comfortable. Sukuna, having woken up because of your alarm, decides to make you wake up in his own way. Afterall, the way you're all curled up in the blanket makes you look like a little burrito!

He starts by pushing your hair off your ears and nibbling gently on them, his hands moving to stroke your back. Then he moves onto your cheeks, lightly nibbling and kissing them before moving downwards and downwards. Before he can reach the certain region you don't want him to reach, you get up and nibble on his cheeks, smiling gently as you do.

And who would Sukuna be if he didn't allow you to return the favour? He lets you nibble and kiss his cheeks, his hands running through your hair and his lips placed on the top of your head. When you finally pull away from him, he brings your face close to his once more, pressing his lips onto yours in a sweet "good morning" kiss.

And at night, just before the both of you sleep, he nibbles you again, this time closer to the sides of your lips. You often tell him not to tease you and just kiss you, but being a tease is what your boyfriend specialises in doing. He nibbles you affectionately, conveying just how much he really loves you. It's not always easy for him to show or tell you how much you mean to him, so these nibbles are the way Sukuna shows you his love for you.

You're so used to it at this point that his nibbles can help lull you to sleep. Just the feeling of his lips nibbling you gently somehow just managed to coax you to sleep and it calms the both of you down a lot.

Yes, it's not a conventional way of showing affection, but your relationship with Sukuna was anything but that to begin with. And these small nibbles are just the way he chooses to show his love.

Sorry this isn't really long =") But yes I think Sukuna has a very different way of showing affection and honestly, I think that's what makes him… cute (yes I admitted it bye). Hope you enjoyed reading!

© @j2lx, 2022

[strongsassysexysloane]

Eleventh Day of Twelve - A Tired but Treasured Day

A/N - Look at that! We are second from the end! Thank you to all the comments and love! Really appreciate it, it's been a long week!

. . . .

Read previous drabbles below.

. . . .

You walked into the office clinging to your cup of coffee. It felt like you were just here and you were, only five hours ago. This time however it was your own doing. You'd found a tiny shred of evidence to go on and had to follow it before the trail went cold. Then it lead to Gibbs and Nick finding the killer in a warehouse in town and bringing him in at just after 0100. You didn't finish interrogating until 0200 and it was now 0730. Coffee, coffee needed to be pumped into you to wake up this morning and a constant flow throughout the day would be required.

To your delight there was a hot cup sitting on your desk as you walked into the bullpen. No note so you assumed this time it wasn't from your gift giver. Day 11 and no one had spilled the beans or gone looking at the cameras like they wanted to on day one.

"Gibbs dropped it off about five minutes ago before he went down to get a report from Kasie who wasn't pleased to be called in so early." Ellie explained while leaning back in her chair and sipping her coffee. "He brought one for all of us."

"Christmas miracles do happen." Nick grinned, dropping his small cup in the trash. "Done."

"It's not a race. You just slugged all your energy for the next three hours."

"Oh please, I've stayed up later and come to work more tired before. Remember the November incident." He waved off.

"I still feel hungover from it." Ellie grumbled, scrunching her nose at the memory of Tequila.

"Please don't remind me." Tim groaned. "Plus I'm not allowed anymore Tequila, Delilah's orders."

"She may be on to something." You ran your hand through your hair, smirking at the banter. Turning on your computer for the day, you saw the next gift hanging from your desk lamp. It was beautiful, a little teddy bear carved out of marble with a shimmering purple and green crown sitting on its head.

"Day 11, the gift giver strikes again." You rolled your eyes at Nick's words while holding the Christmas decoration in your hand, running your thumb over the intricate detail.

It was sweet, a cute addition to your small Christmas tree at home. You'd put it up on December one. That was your tradition and some years it didn't seem worth it but you made the effort. Being alone on Christmas sucked, there was no way around it but this year you were making an effort to not sulk about it. The secret gift giver certainly lifted the spirit as well.

Your tree wasn't over the top but a nice addition to your home. This would fit perfectly front and centre and you made sure of it.

The day was relatively easy. The office banter keeping the spirits going with a good supply of caffeine. It was really just a lot of paper work and then you were set free around mid afternoon to try and have that weekend off. This time Vance made sure the team wouldn't be called in. There were other agents to take the call after all.

You'd missed Jack most of the day and didn't want to interrupt her as she was head deep in evals for the end of year. Instead you decided to shoot her a text when you got home.

- Just wanted to say have a good weekend. Didn't want to interrupt your head mojo.

You knew she'd get a kick out of it and you weren't mistaken.

- Head mojo hey? Smarty in the evening just like you said. Missed you today, didn't realise how many evals I still had to do before I went on my trip. Now I'm back logged and still at work.

It was just hitting 1830 which was a late one for Jack on a Friday. She was always hurrying along at the end of the week to make sure by the time 1700 hit she was out the door.

- I hope you are either finishing for the evening or planning on having dinner while you work. It's getting late, Jack.

- No need to worry about little old me. I need to get these done, I'll grab a bite later. Enjoy your night.

An idea popped to mind, you grabbed your coat and car keys and headed back out into the snowfall with your blue scarf still wrapped around your neck.

Thankfully, you weren't too far from the Navy yard and the Diner was just a five minute detour on the route. You called ahead so the food was ready when you got there and still warm when you knocked on her door.

"Come in, y/n."

You huffed, opening the door. "Now how could you possibly know it was me?"

Jack was sitting on her couch, shoes off, legs crossed and glasses tugging her hair back and sitting on her head. "You didn't reply, you always reply. And you care too much." She got up, placing her laptop on the coffee table and walking up to you.

Those were a lot of compliments you weren't entirely prepared for. You thought Jack was the one that cared a lot, but never too much. "I think I care just the right amount but I can eat this all by myself if you'd prefer?" You smirked, pretending to walk back out but Jack caught your arm.

"I didn't mean it like that. I lo-ike that you care so much." She ran her hand up and down your arm a few times before dropping it away. Her warm comforting smile turned into a cute frown. "And don't you dare walk out on me now that youve made all this effort to come here." She took a deep breath in. "Is that two cheeseburgers and fries?"

The frown and the way her nose twitched at the smell was completely adorable. "With a side of gravy. Wasn't sure if you liked it on your fries or not." You shrugged, missing the soft and loving look Jack gave, you walked past her and sat at one end of the couch, unpacking the bag of food. "Come, sit." You urged, patting the spot beside you as she just stood there and watched.

With a soft smile curving her lips, she came around after a beat and sat exactly where you said to. She took the small pot of gravy and poured it over her fries before pouring the rest over yours. "Thank you."

You bumped her shoulder lightly. "Anytime. Can't have Jack Sloane Hangry and loose in DC." That got you a slap on the knee but it was worth it as her hand soothed the spot she hit and stayed there for a while until it was time to eat.

"Didn't mean to ruin your Friday night plans either." She took a huge bite of the burger.

Between bites you managed an answer, "You mean my big watching The Holiday movie while eating a cup of noodles or the one where I go to sleep at 7pm because im living on about four hours sleep right now."

Skipping over how tired you were she jumped at the mention of the movie. "That's my favourite Christmas movie! It's got the best of both worlds! The sun of LA and the cold winter wonderland of the UK. God, I haven't watched that in years! My mum and I went to the movies to watch it and then every Christmas after we'd watch it together, some people had Love Actually, we had The Holiday. Guess I stopped watching when mum passed." She ate a few more fries. "Wow, Jack, way to ruin the good mood. Sorry. Got lost for a moment there."

You liked it when she rambled. She always would say so many interesting things and you just loved to hear her voice. You prayed the day never came when you wouldn't hear it anymore. "Don't apologize-" You held up your hand to stop her from butting in. "- And, no it's not because of Gibbs silly rule. I enjoy hearing about your past about things you love or did. The Holiday is a sweet movie, my must watch in December along with The Grinch, Home Alone and many more. I try my best to keep the holiday spirits up when I'm by myself for them which has been the last many."

"I enjoy hearing you talk too." She smiled, taking a massive bite of her burger and filling up her cheeks.

There was no silence after that. The evals were put to the side and you talked for what seemed like hours. Talking about childhood Christmas' and silly stories to cringe worthy dating moments over this time of year. It wasn't until you couldn't keep your mouth shut from yawning that you said good night around 2300.

"Sorry you didn't get your evals done." You sing over the roof of your car as Jack unlocked her Mini.

"Don't be. I'm happy to come in tomorrow because tonight was fun!" Her genuine smile told you that she wasn't lying. You could read people pretty well and most times Jack Sloane was an enigma to you but right now you knew she was telling the truth.

"Good night, Jack."

She opened her car door before adding. "Enjoy your movie!"

You yawned with a laugh. "You're kidding right? I'm going to sleep, I'll watch it tomorrow now."

"Fair, good night y/n. Sweet Dreams!"

. . . .

Who doesn't want this to end? Me. But I also maybe, slightly want a break from writing every day. It's been fun but tiring. I've enjoyed it a lot though! I love this time of year, if only I wasn't working in retail.

[eupharrya]

broken

word count : 1342 (kinda short, ik)

warnings : angsty.. no happy ending i guess?

(gif is mine)

ϟ

whenever he comes home, he would plant a small kiss on her forehead before sleeping on his side with his back facing her own. she couldn't complain, she knew this was what she signed up for. there was no question to how busy he was, with preparing his new album and those included not being home often. she was glad he even spent his night in their shared house-- she wouldn't even dare to call it a home nowadays, because it didn't smell the same anymore.

but tonight, was no differ.

go to sleep

i'll be home soon

10.47

those i love you's or good night's dissapeared long time ago.

she didn't understand why he hadn't said those letters in an eternity, but nevertheless, she hadn't either.

i love you

10.48

read

was she hallucinating?

had he really fallen out?

she waited, she didn't have the courage to fall asleep. he just felt so far away when in reality he was within her grasps. was he?

hours of fighting sleep later, the sound of the opened door jolted her to sit up. she was laying down, burying her tears in the pillow on the couch. he wasn't startled to see her awake, but he didn't return the favor of her sad feelings. casually walking towards the kitchen and exit with a glass of water in his palm. "thought i told ye' to sleep?"

"why didn't you say it back?" her lips were trembling, dried tears were clear on her bare face.

"say what back?" harry questioned cautiously, placing the glass of water on the small drawer before crossing his arms in front of his chest. he was tired, all he wanted was to lay on his bed.

"you- you never said those words anymore." her voice was small, like she was struggling to let them out. it was the first time she had complained in so long. come to think of it, this had been the longest conversation they have had in months.

"are ye' serious?" his eyebrows joined, "this is ridiculous, i'm going to bed." he rolled his eyes, turning to the small hallway before making his way up the stairs.

she followed, stomping. "we are not done here!" she grabbed his arm, "harry!"

he faced her, his green orbs she used to get lost in were filled with anger. "look, i'm tired from working all day, unlike ye' who doesn't really do anything. so get outta my way, i'll sleep in the guest room."

"w-what? no! you're not sleeping in the guest room! we need to talk this out."

"i don't owe ye' shit, (y/n)." he was even angrier by seconds. (y/n) didn't move, her eyes threatened to slid out the tears that had shielded. he exhaled a frustrated sigh, running his fingers into the hair she used to tangled her fingers into. "god, this is why i'm not home often." he breathed out.

she couldn't believe he just let out those words.

"you don't mean that." (y/n) was holding back her sobs in between the words.

"i do." he said, closing his eyes, before opening them and looking into her own. "let's just break up."

(y/n) was too shocked to even spoke. she saw this coming, but she thought she had mustered a great courage when this moment came up and hell, she was so wrong about it.

"ye' start a fight when there was really nothing to be worry about. well, if ye' wanted it, then you're getting it." he said before walking off, brushing his shoulder to hers harshly. her knees were weak, she didn't know the fact that caused her to fall to the floor was that of the fact that her boyfriend of two years just threw her out and blaming the failure to her.

her heart shattered into pieces,

and he went to bed in peace.

ϟ

the memory of her leaving his house was still fresh.

she flew back to her hometown right away, back in the loving arms of her parents that night.

it has been months, though.

and she looked better than ever. she had finally realized he wasn't worth her tears and had never been. the two years they spent were full of joy and laughters, looking back at it, she couldn't really remember all the bad things he had made her went through. the ones that stayed were the happy ones, and she was glad she made peace with them. she had let him go.

one fine afternoon, (y/n) was helping her mother preparing the food for their dinner. her cousins were visiting, so her parents thought it would be better to cook rather than ordering. it felt more like home.

the doorbell rang. "do you mind answering the door, dear?" her mother shouted while checking the refrigerator.

"sure, mom." (y/n) answered before leaving the half chopped vegetable.

she scurried out of the kitchen and landed herself to the front door before swinging it open. much to her dissatisfaction and surprise, it was him.

his hair was longer and tousled back in a mess. the unshaven hairs sticking on his face clearly showed he hadn't been taking care of his appearance well these days, or months, who knows. his hands were shoved into the pocket to his coat.

"harry." her breath hitched.

"(y/n)." he called her name in the same tone, surprised. unsure of what he was surprised of, maybe by the fact that she seemed to be coping up with everything so much better than he did.

"what are you doing here?" she asked, closing the door behind her so the view of her house were out of his sight.

"i- i um, was just passing by. thought i'd come to say hello."

he was lying. and she almost felt bad at how terrible he was looking at the moment. the shadows under his eyes reflected that he hadn't been sleeping well.

"harry, you live miles away."

"i- i was hoping we could talk. is it okay if i step inside?" he asked, hope building up in his heart for her to say yes.

"i'm not sure it's a good idea." she thought of how her mother would look at him, or would she even spare a glance at him. thankfully her father wasn't home.

"oh," he failed miserably in hiding the disappointment in his tone. "well, i, um, it will be best if i leave, isn't it? i mean after what i did to ye'. i- sorry, i came here to say sorry that i hurt you badly, please know that it wasn't my intention--"

"then what was your intention, harry?" she crossed her arms. she was angry, had he the audacity in flying here and apologized after months in losing contact. "i begged, harry. like there was no tomorrow."

"i- i know. i'm so sorry, in every way, love. i wish i could turn back time and fix--"

"well, you can't." she cut him off.

he was defenseless. tears fell from his eyes, they stung like hell. but he told himself he deserved it, after what he had made her gone through. "you're right. i'm sorry."

few seconds of just him crying and her trying to hold back her tears, she spoke up weakly. "leave, harry."

just how much he regretted the mess he had created. and few months ago, bunches of voicemails he received from her number because he never wanted to accept her calls that asked him for the complete opposite.

"stay, harry.

please don't let me go.

you're not gonna leave me, please harry."

in between sobs did she let them out.

"you didn't mean them, harry.

you've changed, and what hurt the most was that i've been watching you changing.

you own my heart, harry.

the broken ones.

you're so much better than this."

and so he left, looking back after just ten steps away from her porch. but she was already gone, back into her home, where he was supposed to be, but he wasn't and he never will now.

ϟ

a lil bit based on the song 'wake up - eden' pwease listen to it! it's so good!

and thank you for chérie's notes wow.

sending luvs your ways♥️

[noxtivagus]

mhmmm starlit waltz.... sometimes i find my mind just wandering back to that. lil thing i wrote years back. from time to time. i really want to rewrite it soon before 2022 ends ><