#n isdk if its good or not. like . ik i dont have tl figurr it iut righy now but
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#some of thr shit i went through is . actually awful to yhink abt#and it almost makes me never eanna date again.#like not in a “im scared itll happen again” way but in a#im good on . being that close to someoen for s while. that was a Lot#like i knoww this is 100% a trauma response bc i did smth similar w my friendships for a good few yrs#n i can feel mhself doing it again neow . but . its okay for now i think?#n isdk if its good or not. like . ik i dont have tl figurr it iut righy now but#not having it figured out sucks i hate . when my own brain feels Unanswered and missing stuff !#whack in all honesty.#anyway . its so odd how this . impacted n and hos i wanna go abt my own love life :(#bc i rlly dont fsncy focyhis shit again ANY time soon actually. hesled or not. thats fucked.#all of that is fucked.#today unlocked a few more puzzle pieces#and while i dont Like tje picturd tjeyre creating . im okay with it to a degree#bc shit can chsnge but . its fine#i can deal w this wejrd . thought and conclusion
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