#n i still have the interactive benefits of living in a teeny tiny dept. but yk. just different
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yet another night sitting around in taiwan and thinking about how the only reason im here is bc my chinese prof sent me more emails than the latino studies dept and i love the relationship i have w her and i love what i do and speaking the most commonly spoken language in the world is not an unuseful skill to possess but i think all the time about how not that undergrad academics are about what you are contributing insert cynical description of the social construct of academia but it really is sad when i think abt how i kind of just casually missed the opportunity to feel like i was doing smth genuinely purposeful w my time in higher ed n i just dont think grad school is in my future w the basic uphill Cs get degrees battle of my even staying in school due to my problems and issues not to mention the um $ . but anyways gn
#kind of funny how i just grew up talking abt those kinds of things w my aunt while learning academic talk from her 2 for 1 deal#so i feel like discovering latino studies was a thing was like discovering u can get a degree in painting.#like ppl do what i did w my tia in car rides for fun as a teen for an occupation.#but alas.#like i enjoy chinese studies just bc i love learning new things#and so i sit around and i learn a great deal of things i did not previously know and ended up accidentally racking up enough credits#to make an extra ba out of it AJSHFHHF#but i dont feel like its a reciprocal relationship. and it doesnt have to be but like. sad that i feel like i couldve had one w my academic#n i still have the interactive benefits of living in a teeny tiny dept. but yk. just different
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