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8-rae-rae-8 · 8 months ago

Text

Out of the cold

3.5k words.

Cross-posted on AO3 last night.

tags and fic under the cut

Relationship tags: Sebastian Castellanos/Myra Hanson, Brief Sebastian/Myra, Breif Sebastian/Joseph, Lily Castellanos & Sebastian Castellanos, Lily castellanos & Joseph oda, Sebastian Castellanos/Joseph Oda

Additional tags: Uncle Joseph, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Cold Weather, Cold, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Protective Sebastian Castellanos, Character Death, Canonical Character Death, Myra dies. like in canon. sigh, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Torture, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Bittersweet, Crying

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The ground felt like ice under his body. Chilling to the bone and unyielding to attempts at warming himself up. His hands rub his arms, self soothing but not quite warming. Where is this? Snow covered the ground around him, body delicately placed in the melting snowflakes. No steps were around him, as if he was placed there. Or snow fell around him.

His head buzzed with a high pitched tone, a sharp pain spreading through his body. Everything screamed at him that something had gone wrong, something was off. It wasn’t winter yet, Krimson City didn’t get this much snow. Though, as if on cue, the sun peeked through dark clouds, illuminating the surrounding area.

Not Krimson City.

An empty field, covered in snow with giant rocks dotted around. Joseph’s hands trembled, taking in the surrounding area. He was on a hill, not far up but enough to get a good view of the area.

Small cries gained his attention within an instant, far, but not too far. Any ache in his body, the ringing in his ears, and his shivers went unacknowledged. He must not have been in the freezing snow long enough to harm him, no frostbite on his skin. Snow melted in his hair, enough to make his teeth chatter with any wind.

Cries of a child in distress too close for comfort. No kid should be in this weather, not this far from any sort civilization. If there was any.

Scanning his environment once more, a house nestled on the very top of the hill. A mountainous hill, nonetheless. Each part of him trembled as he stood up get a better look. The house looked exactly like his friend’s—coworker’s—house that burnt down years ago… And those cries. Those cries…

Joseph’s breath hitched as he pulled himself further up the hill. His snow frozen clothes stick to his skin. But those cries keep ringing in his head until that high pitched sound no longer lingers.

He knows those sobs. The same cries he heard when Sebastian and Myra showed him their little girl, their Lily. The same cries that babbled out broken words over an ice cream he had gotten the child, that he bought again to soothe her. The sobs that called for ‘Uncle Joseph’ when Myra and Sebastian couldn’t help her with her new school.

Uncle Joseph was there.

There was no way to be sure if it was a dream or not, but he had to get to her either way. It didn’t feel like it was a dream. It.. It felt like STEM all over again. With that loud ringing, and the sudden warmth dripping from his nose. Blood. A bloody nose. Joseph took a breath—Keep going, Lily needed him.

Every other step was a stumble as his mind attempted to catch up. Things seemed to phase in and out of reality, was it reality at all? Black leather gloves covered his hands, like his old ones. Before this, before STEM, back with the KCPD. Rather than a button-up, he wore a white T-shirt and black pants. A sidearm holstered to his hip. Ever so similar to what he wore when he first entered STEM.

God, this was it again, wasn’t it?

MOBIUS needed him, wanted to use him again. For what, he didn’t know. But those sobs were his driving force now. Questions could wait until Lily was safe with him.

The house was further than he thought, like it was pushed back a step for every two Joseph took. Pristine wood and untouched pathways waited for him, chest heaving with each breath. Three years since he had truly done activity like climbing for more than a staircase’s length. The cries snap him out of it.

A frosted over window was gently hit, a little girl in pink looking outside. Lily. Joseph sighed, so close. He was there now.

The front door was unlocked, though the door handle was freezing as he opened it. His gloves protected his hands. Whimpered echoed the large house, and Joseph didn’t wait any more time than he had to. The door closed behind him, he ran to the stairs.

“Lily! Lily??” Joseph’s voice was sore. From the cold, or maybe misuse. He wiped his glasses on his shirt, looking through the clean glasses. The house was just like it was before the fire, family pictures up and pristine. It felt like Sebastian’s home. A wonderful home.

Little feet pattered down the hall, a small body wrapping around Joseph’s waist to grab him tightly. A teary, wet face pressed into his shirt. Warm, sweet, childlike… Lily.

“Lily…” Joseph breathed out. He shed his gloves in an instant, red scarring covered the back of his hands, but he never cared for a seconds. Lily was there, what else would he care about?

“Uncle Jo!” Lily squeaked through tears, almost it was like everything was normal again. Like it was before. She hardly aged a day, her pjs just the same as she wore in a picture of Sebastian, her and Myra cuddled in bed that Sebastian kept on his desk.

“I’m here.. I’m here.” His cold hands cupped her cheeks, looking down to her. Rosey, tear stained, cheeks tilted up to him, Lily’s little face squished in his hands. The same face that looked up at him with awe as he explained basic math to her in a way that made sense. Three years gone by, and the kid hardly looked different. STEM could have adverse effects, he assumed.

The tears broke his heart. A small kid wailing for someone. Maybe Joseph wasn’t enough, but that thought was quickly wiped as Lily pressed her face back into his shirt. She sniffled.

Was she all alone? He wondered. Not a single trace of anyone but her in the house, or maybe the trace was the fact that toys weren’t everywhere. Someone cleaned up after her, maybe? In a place like STEM, he could never be sure. Nothing was certain, not even things that should be predictable.

“Where’s your mom? Your dad?” It was a long shot. Not even Joseph had seen them, not since Beacon. He was somewhere else, somewhere without a name, somewhere isolated. Like he needed to be observed like an animal in containment. Prior to this, he hadn’t felt any snow in his palms for years.

“Mommy- mommy’s outside!” Lily' hiccuped, more tears pouring from her eyes at the mention of her father. His stomach churned at the reaction. Fuck, where was Sebastian?

“We can wait for mommy then...” Joseph decided. He gulped down the many worries bubbling in his head. If Sebastian wasn’t here, where was he?

A loud rumble caught both of their attention, the world shaking under their feet. It was practically instinct to pick Lily up, not without struggle, of course. He was out of practice, even if she hadn’t grown much in the time he hadn’t been there. Things fell from shelves as Joseph cradled the girl in his arms. They’d be safe in Lily’s room, surely. And if anything were to happen… his side arm weighed on his hip as a reminder.

Protect Lily. That’s all he had to do.

Little hands reached up to his face, brushing over the scruff that now decorated his lower jaw. Lily touched with the most gentle pressure, like she was trying to figure out if he was real. Even amidst this, the world possibly crumbling under them, she giggled at the ticklish feeling on her palms.

Joseph couldn’t help but smile. There’s that sweet sound. He hadn’t realized how he missed it until his heart squeezed in his chest—he needed that. Something sweet against the fearful conditions.

“What’s that, hm?” He lightly bounced her in his arms, just how he did when she was still a baby, then a toddler. It was really a miracle that he could still hold her, let alone pick her up. If this didn’t feel so real, he’d worry it was a dream. Instead, he had to worry that this was STEM all over again.

“You’re scratchy!” The little one commented. Her tears began to dry on her red cheeks, breathing patterns starting to go back to normal. She smiled—a real smile. Joseph got to see the few missing teeth, just like she should have at her age.

“A little.” Joseph smiled with her. How could he not when he looked down at her sweet face? He didn’t ever want kids of his own, but he understood the adoration, the pure love.

Lily’s head tilted ever so slightly as she watched him, blue eyes following his gaze wherever he looked. Until she quickly looked away with a sharp gasp. The world trembled again—but not like something was breaking. Like something was forming. He shivered at the realization. The clothes on his back suddenly ice cold once more.

“Why don’t you lay in bed?” He quietly suggested as he leaned to attempt to see out Lily’s window. “I’ll be right here until your mom comes back.” Hopefully a promise he could keep. He’d be right there, he had to be. Lily was carefully set down, her happily going to lay in bed.

And as he said, Joseph didn’t go anywhere. Not when he felt like he was freezing, not when his teeth chattered. However, it didn’t seem good enough for Lily.

Her voice squeaked from the corner of the room, just loud enough to pull him from his thoughts.

“Uncle Joseph?” Lily quietly called from where she had started to color on her bed. A little coloring book and markers making a mess of the blankets.

He hummed in response, looking up towards the bed just as everything trembled once again. This time accompanied by a loud groan that felt ever so close. Whatever Lily was about to ask was no longer on her tongue as Joseph stood and sat next to her. Protect Lily.

The markers and book were discarded when Lily took place in Joseph’s lap, just how she did years before. His clothes dampened the bed, neither cared enough to mention it. Not when Lily pulled the blankets over them both, her eyebrows furrowed at how cold Joseph was—she was always aware of everything around her.

Her head rested on Joseph’s shoulder, a gentle hand protected the back of her head in that position. In case of anything happening. In case the world did crumble around them. At the very least, they wouldn’t be alone.

Minutes turned to hours of those sounds. Groaning, screaming. And the shaking. Until it became normal and Lily’s eyes slipped shut. The blankets were pulled further over her, delicately tucked. Joseph didn’t leave her side. Not even when darkness began to settle over the snow covered environment. No, he was here. Laying with Lily as his own eyes shut.

All of the screaming died down as the two slept. Soft footsteps filled it’s absence. Doors creaked open. The front, then the bedroom… Joseph’s light sleep was bothered by it. His eyes opened quickly as he reached for his side arm. The doorway was filled by a familiar figure.

“Joseph?”

“Seb-?”

His voice was caught in his throat as he stared. Sebastian Castellanos, staring at him with the same confusion. The both of them exhaled at the same time before lightly laughing. They were both alive, albeit one more hurt than the other.

He felt warm again. One missing piece left—Myra. If she was still there. His heart ached at the sight of a man he thought he lost for years that just stood in front of him. Though Sebastian seemed more frantic.

“We need to go, now.” Sebastian breathed out, taking a stumbling step forward to gently retrieve Lily from the blankets. “Joseph, we- I don’t know if we’ll all make it…”

Make it where?

Something fell with a strong thud outside. The former detective flinching at the sound. Lily, although sleepy, got situated in Sebastian’s arms, while he reached to pull Joseph up from the bed.

“We’ll make it. But where is ‘it’?” Confusion heavily settled in his head. Was everything actually crumbling now? Like he thought before?

“Myra’s waiting for us. I’ll explain later.” Sebastian spoke with determination. There wasn’t time to play catch-up, Joseph could tell. They make it to Myra, then they get to wherever ‘it’ was. At least ‘later’ meant this wasn’t the end.

Callused hands pulled him from the bed, one keeping it’s grasp firm as the other held Lily safely against his chest. The grip was unrelenting, pulling Joseph from the room and down the stairs with fast pace. The sleep in his eyes long gone, brief peace replaced with adrenaline.

As they reached the bottom floor, the door opened again, Myra standing there with the least amount of color in her face that Joseph had ever seen. But she smiled when she saw him. They exchanged glances that lasted no more than a few seconds. But Joseph understood. Even if it made him shiver.

Take care of them for me.

I will.

This was goodbye, he felt it in his bones. A sharp pain until it dulled out. Myra and Sebastian’s words were near silent as his ears rung. Myra looked back to him last after leaving a gentle kiss on Sebastian’s lips. A bittersweet emotion in her eyes.

“Myra…” Joseph whispered.

She didn’t say anything as she reached to him, a hand softly stroking his cheek before she nodded. Telling him to go, to follow. Whatever this was, she had it under control now.

There wasn’t a second to process it before they were running, leaving Myra inside the house. Joseph’s head turned to see her waving before snow covered his glasses. The world shook and cracked beneath their feet. Sebastian ran as a guide for him, holding his wrist tight enough to cut off circulation.

Everything blurred as the snow piled on his glasses. But things—rocks—fell around them, cracking the snow covered ground into several parts. The cold nipped at his exposed skin.

“Joseph!” Sebastian shouted. “Jump!” He then bolted, letting go of Joseph to let the man run after him. His glasses were quickly removed. At the very least, he could see how far he had to go. A crack in the world separated him from a glowing object that Sebastian seemed to hover over.

The snow slicked his boots, but he just barely made the jump, until he tried to get his footing and fell. Sebastian barely managed to grab his wrist again. Freezing fingers wrapping around Sebastian’s wrist and pulling on the ledge. Up, up, damnit, move!

He grunted as he pulled until his legs came over the side of the ledge and he could pull himself up with Sebastian as leverage. He trembled as he stood.

“Hold onto me!” Sebastian firmly said once Joseph was up. The glowing object he saw was a mirror with a gold plated frame. Like he saw the first time in STEM, the ones Sebastian looked into for minutes at a time. It was.. a device of sorts.

Joseph wasn’t willing to let go, even if Sebastian wanted him to. For the first time in years, he had him back. He had them… And he could only hope that Myra would make her way out too one day.

Before he realized, everything faded to black and warm hands were shaking his shoulders. Smaller hands, but slowly pulling him back. His mind felt like it was swimming, yet floating somewhere. Cool liquid settled along his bottom half, he realized. He had to fight his eyes to open them, hardly staying where the warm hands held him.

Words flooded his head next, along with broken sobs. A feminine voice was closest, telling him to wake up. Almost begging for him to wake up.

That wasn’t Myra. No, it was Kidman. Juli Kidman. Kid. She betrayed them, didn’t she? His mind was foggy, painfully so. His eyes hardly opened to see her, trying to push her hands back as everything weighed back down on him.

Finding Lily, Sebastian finding them, losing Myra, getting out…

It was STEM, but with a bittersweet ending this time. With them getting out, but losing someone along the way. His chest tightened with each breath. Is this how Sebastian felt getting out while not knowing his fate?

Kidman stood in front of him, waiting for him to come to his senses no doubt.

“You’re out, Joseph. It’s done.” It should be soothing, but he didn’t know how he got there in the first place before he was in STEM this time. Cold walls around him.

“Where’s Sebastian? And Lily..?” Joseph rushed to speak, forcing himself up from the substance he was in. Cold and sticky.

The MOBIUS agent hardly got to say anything before Joseph was pulling himself from the liquid and stumbling until he got view of Sebastian, who held a tired little girl in his arms. Tears dripping down his face from what Joseph assumed was a mix of joy and grief.

He had Lily again, and Joseph had both of them again. So why did his head scream with pain? Regret? Fear? His legs struggled to keep up with his movement, trembling just to get to them, where he was quickly engulfed in a side hug by Sebastian.

Hold in the pain, ignore the pulsing as long as he could, and lean into his touch. Just as warm as he remembered it. The man was more tainted by alcohol, he could smell it on his breath, but that didn’t matter when Sebastian held him tighter.

Nothing mattered when the freezing sensation finally left, leaving pain behind. No more than that. Joseph found it harder to keep himself quiet, something inside him begging to be seen after so long. He needed relief.

“We’re okay…” It sounded broken and halfhearted to his ears, but it was Seb talking to him. Offering to take some of the pain from him in a way they had done years ago. Back when they could have a beer and huddle up against Sebastian’s couch for a movie. When it was his suggestion that turned into mutually talking through things.

‘We’re okay.’

An invite to let something go after a rough day. This wasn’t just a ‘rough day’, but a rough absence. Far, far away from each other for much too long.

“Are we.. okay?” Joseph asked with unusual softness. How could he not? After this? Being suddenly whisked away into STEM, again, then Lily, Sebastian… Losing Myra. It was worse than an accident, worse than the accident. This time he knew them all so well, much better from all of Sebastian’s stories. And they left Myra there.

Sebastian’s hesitation made his stomach drop.

“We’ll be okay.” He seemed firm in that belief, though his lip trembled as he glanced back at his daughter. “We did what we had to do.”

“What we had to do??” Joseph’s brows furrowed. “We could have done more, we left Mrya!” The look Sebastian gave told him more than it should have. That they did do all they could. And that it still hurt to go. Now he understood the look she gave, the words she uttered.

‘Take care of them for me.’

Always.

“She had to send a signal to take down MOBIUS from the inside.. So Lily would be safe.” The words caught in Sebastian’s throat as he spoke.

She was gone then, taken from their hands without any sort of chance. The lady was always determined to do what she could. Joseph had looked up to her when he joined the force, both her and Sebastian as his driving force to get where he wanted to be. At their level, which had seemed to sink down since. Or perhaps break apart.

Their silence filled the room as the STEM machine shut down. Each light powered off one by one as they stood together. Heels clicked on the tile ground, waiting at an exit. Sebastian and Joseph merely looked at each other, searching each other’s gaze.

Joseph moved first. A hand landing firmly on Sebastian’s shoulder, though not loud enough to wake Lily, who slept on his chest. The touch, without gloves, felt like fire to his cold hand. They still trembled, no matter how far removed from the ice in STEM. But this, so close after being apart for so long, felt like a huge hill finally climbed. An obstacle passed.

Another hand pulled Joseph in close. Sebastian may still have reeked of alcohol, with a touch of smoke, but it was familiar. Warm, and just like home. After too damn long.

Sebastian was ready when Joseph’s chest caved with a gasping breath. He hadn’t realized he even begun to hold it. What came next was a weak, near silent sob. Sebastian may have gotten back his child and a friend, but Joseph got back a friend, his niece, and his life. Those three years away from everything was a blur of white walls and constant monitoring. Not that he could recall much.

“We are okay…” Came a comforting voice. They were okay. Sebastian, Joseph and Lily… They would be okay.