#mymomisanarcissist

[narcissisticmomvent]

Me v. Narcissist Mom

me: tells narc mom in a very calm and decent way that she made me feel my whole life that gay was being bad and it made me repress my own bisexuality; that I am relieved I am finally accepting who I am and what mom did really messed me the fuck up

mom: what do you think you’ll gain from rehashing the past and beating me down and telling me what a horrible person I am and was all the time? You just want to ingrain it in me that I am such an awful parent. (oh here she goes again, next she might threaten suicide like she used to when I was a kid)

me: I’m not rehashing the past or trying to make you feel like you hate yourself. I just...in order to heal...I need to process shit, the traumas, the abuse, the neglect...and if I need to say it to your face (or over the phone), so you hear me and understand how it affected me...does that not make sense? I just need to say it. I am not trying to bash you nor am I uselessly beating the past up and making you relive it. I just....want you to...idk...show some actual accountability....empathize...idk...just.....show that you’ve changed I guess. Idk.

mom: so I see. You just want to make me believe I am a horrible mother. Well I guess I am (guilting me now) (I can just sense the suicidal threats coming)

me: no that’s not what I am saying

mom: I have already apologized enough. I will not apologize and make myself feel like a horrible mother anymore. 

me: sigh