#mylifemypoetry

[pengpongpooh]

Is it fine to feel rainbows and sunshines?

Is it fine to be carried away by this feeling?

My fear is to realize that nothing was real, that it was all just a game.

More than loneliness and dislike, I do not want to feel disappointment.

Disappointment was something that I had experienced so many times. The small emotion of disappointment is something that piled up in my life and something I fear.

Disappointment was expecting something that wasn't.

I feel rainbows, I feel giddy, I feel like jumping but I also feel like I am living a different life. I feel like I would be disappointed.

But I wanna soak in these feelings of sunshine, for a bit.

Is it wrong to do so?

[pengpongpooh]

I haven't seen it this way. This is a good way of thinking for sad and depressed people like me.

I have noticed that I've been a go-to person by my troubled peers. It feels good to know that I've been helping people in their battles, although I still haven't won mine.

I think I can help cheer people up better because I’ve been sad, not because I’m really happy. It’s never great when you’re sad, and I don’t romanticize it at all, but it’s kind of encouraging to me to know that some good can come out of my sadness. ;u;

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[pengpongpooh]

I am social when I want to be. But really, I'm too engrossed reading while listening to music. And maybe, I need coffee.

PS. Oh I'm a realist but from time to time, I need to have a break and indulge myself in my leisure world.

[pengpongpooh]

I'm an over thinker especially at night. That's why I usually need something to do on the days to avoid over thinking. But night times are especially hard for me, since the dark silence, my thoughts are bees buzzing on my ear.

[pengpongpooh]

It was once said that the children are our future. But the children and teenagers have become too entitled and engrossed in the different rights and privileges provided.

They had forgotten manners and respect. Its a sad thing to see how the youngsters are deteriorating emotionally amd mentally.

What had gone wrong?

[pengpongpooh]

For some reason, I'm feeling so sad today. There is something sad insode my heart.

... But I don't know why or what's happening or what emotion it is. I just feel constricted in my heart, a feeling like I wanna cry but my eyes resist.

I am listening to Jonghyun's End of days. Its a melancholic song. I'm hoping to get out and understand what I'm feeling right now.

[pengpongpooh]

People are driving me to the extremes. I don't want and I try my very best not to be affected but sometimes, it feels...

I have been fighting this battle for 4 *uckin years. They say don't *uckin give up but at the end of everyday, those words are empty. Why? Because they don't support you physically. Instead, they kept adding pressure.

I understand that they want to prioritize their lives but I think they would understand as well if I choose to end mine.

My life is important to me so I battle it out. I continue because I know I'm worthy of living. But I hope that when I emerge victorious, I'll cut of the toxicity in my life.

[pengpongpooh]

I want to read something then sleep but these analysis needs to be done right now 😣

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I wonder what time will I be able to sleep 🙄

[pengpongpooh]

It hurts me and I'm sensitive but just because I appear I don't care, I really don't care. I hear and I see and I feel. I like honesty and bluntness in the right time.

[pengpongpooh]

Im actually an anime lover and kpop lover. I started being addicted to anime due to rurouni kenshin and Inuyasha but I became a solid due to Naruto and Gundam Seed. Since then, I always read manga and watch anime, even to the point of studying japan-related stuff.

I became a solid kpop(er) when snsd debuted. I mean, I was an occasional kpop listener of wonder girls, suju and dbsk but I became solid due to snsd. They're my type of music. But my one and only beloved stan kpop group is shinee. I'm a fan of snsd, dbsk, but a devotee to shinee.

Up to this time, I keep my otaku and kpop(er) side to myself. It's been like more than a decade of hiding so its very hard for me to let go and besides, this secret side of me is something I want to cherish as my own. In tumblr, no one knows me because all friends & family I know doesn't do tumblr so it's freedom for me to express this side of myself.

[pengpongpooh]

My zodiac ♒️ Tomorrow I'll be 23 (´⊙ω⊙`)

[pengpongpooh]

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A post shared by Husky Lovers 🐶 (@thehuskylove) on Mar 7, 2020 at 2:24pm PST

So cute 😍

My doglover 💓💕