#myiqlife

[pinguminicat]

My review of IQ Accommodation Bankside Airbnb room

Diabolical and Torturous

I found myself in an awkward gap in between properties so needed a place to stay for a few (approx five) weeks. I was working remotely so needed a decent work space. A hotel booking for that long would have sent me broke. Colour me happy when I found IQ!

The room itself was ok (with caveats - see below). Great location, broadband access and shower pressure.

Now for which I WASN’T prepared…

The CONSTANT….INCESSANT…RELENTLESS….NEVER-ABATING…AGGRESSIVE…LOUD! BANGING! from the surrounding studio’s doors. All the livelong day (and…more importantly…night).

Here’s a recording of a 24 hour period, edited down to 45ish seconds. Recorded from the centre of the room. No volume or EQ adjustments made. https://youtu.be/X9o6eareNbg

I’m genuinely confounded. Surely these selfish little sociopaths (including some site staff) can hear how loud it is and wonder if EVERYONE ELSE can hear it? Surely they were taught how to coexist with fellow humans without blatantly and brutally intruding on the lives of others?

I could have asked to be moved to a different room but I could hear the doors slamming shut on the other floors.

I did complain about it and then took a massive grain of salt when they said they would ask the other “guests”/occupants to be more mindful when closing the doors. I found it rather amusing:

a) Their sheer naivety of asking people to be more considerate towards complete strangers

b) They thought I was deluded enough to think that point a would have any positive effect whatsoever

c) The “house manual” states “We ask that you keep noise to a minimum between 11 pm - 7 am. Please bear in mind that loud noise and disturbance outside of these hours is also a breach of your tenancy agreement” This was in no way upheld by the property managers. Is that then a breach of THEIR responsibility?

How a property, built specifically for ACCOMMODATION (it’s in the name) gets away with this is beyond belief.

Speaking of doors. Don’t open the one to the outside for fresh air, otherwise your room (and the basic, scratchy bed linen) will quickly be caked in dust from the neighbouring construction site. I’m not joking. Every breath intake was heavy with dust. You could literally feel it on your tongue. (and I don’t use the word “literally” lightly..or incorrectly) There is a Leyland not far, where you can purchase a plastic drop sheet to cover the bed though.

You’ll also be paying for the pleasure of having to dust the room multiple times of the day

With the door closed, the room quickly became stuffy and hot despite the thermostat being set to OFF.

Oh…but you WILL need to open that door to let out the daily odour of someone cooking what can only be described as burnt cabbage served on a coulis of urine.

Not just a distant odour. It’s standing there right in front of you, punching you in the nose.

Now, let’s get to the laundry facilities….

…The insufficiently equipped and bizarrely convoluted, Gestapo-like control of the laundry facilities. You have to request a card 24 hours in advance of using the facilities. It was actually more like 42 and 71 hours but who’s counting? Make sure that if life gets in the way (like finding a cake of dust all over the bed linens) ask the universe to give you 24…no, wait…42…no, wait…71 hours to prepare. I eventually was offered (after my suggestion) a card of my own to use….Finally! I was able to wash my clothes!……only to find that both (yep…only two for a building of over 100 rooms) available machines were being used BY THE SAME PERSON

No deliveries allowed….except for food. Amazon? No. Work-related equipment purchased by the employer? No. A leaving gift that my colleagues so kindly got for me? NO! There was NO mention of couriers in the “house manual” or under the house rules section of the Airbnb listing. People staying here for a few weeks and aren’t here for a holiday, just day-to-day life, including remote working should be allowed to have packages delivered. The students are allowed! How about the other people PAYING to stay here? Yes, Amazon have pick up points all over London, but not all items can be delivered to those. And most (reputable) non-Amazon companies don’t deliver to some anonymous collection point for high ticket items.

Side note: Seeing as this is primarily a student accommodation building (a mere footnote in the Airbnb description,) I was curious to see the price these rooms go for. The most basic one could cover the rent of a three bedroom house, still within the bounds of the M25. Man! These kids have wealthy parents! Ahhhh ok. Explains the door slamming and the selfish commandeering of the laundry facility.

I was so shocked at the price they (the uber-rich parents) pay, I almost coughed out a night’s worth of dust inhaled from the bed linen!

The moment I offloaded my work equipment, I cancelled the rest of my stay and booked a hotel room. This was a one-off situation for me (thank the deity of your choice)…If I hadn’t been weighed down with remote working office equipment and was in a better financial position, I would have left much earlier in my stay and found a hotel….or a tent in the middle of a busy roundabout…it would have been quieter.

“Do your research!” Ok. Lesson learned.

Not only would I NOT recommend this place to anyone. I would actively seek to stop people making the same mistake.

THIS PROPERTY SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO BE AN AIRBNB

Disgusted. Traumatised. I will never use Airbnb again.

The Room (these things would otherwise be passed off as quirks if the stay wasn’t so incredibly stressful):

Overly bright cold white lighting. On or off for the entire room. Think office space or hospital.

Cold white bedside light. Clearly these people haven’t heard of circadian rhythms. Built into the wall and meant to pop out. Give it 10 goes and you’ll get there. Bits of paint or plaster scraped over it.

White walls, white doors, white window blind, white bed linen. Again…think hospital.

No power points even in the vague vicinity of the bed.

The lightweight shower curtain billows in and takes up most of the shower space. Even weighing it down with shampoo bottles didn’t help.

Toilet roll holder was poorly fitted to the wall.

Red stain on the toilet seat

Also, why there’s a cabinet over the toilet rather than the sink is a little odd. Gravity will not be your friend here.

Scrape marks on the wall and microwave.

Surrounding of door to the room cracking and leaving flecks of paint on the floor (I found this one to be particularly ironic)