#my writing truly exceeds expectations when written at 1:45am (at the time of tagging this)

[reddamselette]

“We need to know less about each other,” Leo whispered against Jason’s lips. He swallowed dryly, closing his eyes for a simple moment before he dropped his head onto Jason’s shoulder and breathed.

Jason rested his head back against the wall behind him, staring up at the shining and twinkling stars and constellations in the dark blue blanket of a sky. His hands were cradling Leo’s head, fingers tangled in brown curls. His heart thudded in his chest, his cheeks burning and flushed with crimson red as the blood rushed to his face.

It was unfair, he thought.

How easy it was for Leo take his heart and shatter it like a stick hitting a drum, lightning crackling from the ground into the clouds. They were outside by the bar, celebrating with the others late on a summer night where it was hot enough during the day but worse once the sun had set. It was unfair, he thought, how Leo could say that after so long. “I can’t know less about you, Leo.”

Jason could never forget or unlearn what has been engraved in his mind like etchings on stone tablets. He would always remember the slightest shine in big brown eyes when he would gesture wildly with his hands as he spoke about something he was passionate about or the curl of his lips that would spread into a grin that was the most beautiful thing he could witness.

The touches that were searing hot and burned his fingertips into Jason’s skin, every nerve tingling until he was on fire. Jason memorized the specific pattern of Leo’s heartbeat underneath his palm, the scars on his arm that were shaped like a constellation, and how every curl hung over his eyes or curled up on the crown of his head; fluffy, soft curls that felt like he could fly running his hands through each strand and twirling it between his fingers.

He could never know less about Leo Valdez because his very soul was made to absorb every detail about him like the fact he would chew on his lip a few times before biting the inside of his cheek when he was overwhelmed. Leo had the habit of tapping his finger, whistling or humming to himself in concentration. How his voice was smooth but there was quirks of an accent, a rasp with certain words and a slip into the swirls of the Spanish language.

Leo pulled away, his hands sliding off of Jason’s waist to the wall on either side of his head, caging him in as if his mind and mouth was saying one thing but his body and heart were saying another. “This was a mistake.”

Jason looked at him with sad eyes, gripping his hair between his fingers as he shook his head. “Was it? Or are you saying that because you feel guilty? I don’t want to be strangers, don’t do that to me.”

“We should’ve stayed strangers since the very beginning, Jason.” Leo sighed and hovered his hand near Jason’s cheek, heat radiating from the close vicinity of his palm to his skin before he leaned away and gently removed Jason’s hands from his hair. “You’re everything to me, you know.”

“Am I? It doesn’t seem like it.”

“You are.”

“I hate you,” Jason lied and he lied painfully. His body was resting against the wall, using it as support as he stared into Leo’s features, sky blue irises roaming over his figure, his hands, his hair, his lips. He could never truly hate him because he fell in love with him but it wasn’t enough. Jason would never be enough.

Leo didn’t reply for several moments. His hands were limp at his sides, the area was barely illuminated and masked his fingers curling into his palms, nails digging into his skin and created crescent shapes. He knew Jason would never hate him but he wished he would. Leo deserved it for hurting him in such a way, for cradling him and embracing him the way lovers of so many years do. They weren’t official, they never would be, but it hurt. It ripped Leo apart. It was as if smoke infiltrated his lungs and drowned out the oxygen, stealing away his ability to breathe. “I know.”