#my thoughts: ruha

[creativeafterdark]

Decided to sketch out some female demons, these ladies are based on the Queens of the World of Darkness from Mandaeism. Hekesha is the only one that's mostly original, as Hekesha is, apparently, another name for Lilith.

Speaking of:

So far in my Mythology Mixup Story, Qin is one of the Primordial Beings, and considered a mother of the Succubi and Incubi, among other demon types. After her fall from Eden, Lilith was adopted into the family, but marries a different fallen angel instead of Lucifer.

The horns represents their age and power.

The designs are not final, aside from Lilith's.

[aurriearts]

mother son baking duo hugs!!!! i’ve been basically through the wringer this and last week emotionally and i need happy stuff 

also don’t let the height stuff fool you they’re both really short, the only reason ry can hug her like that is bc she’s five foot NOTHING

[crownjimin]

✰ 099 | no takesies backsies

la vie en rose ━ in which lee aera, a girl who has been crushing on choi soobin for a long, long time, is starting her junior year and her friends decide that its time for her to make her move.

( masterlist | prev | next )

A/N: whoop! one more update + the epilogue and we’re donezo!!

“I can’t believe it’s really red—,” He flipped and shuffled his hands through her hair as he said this.

“So bright, so pretty,” Soobin muttered to himself, going as far as to bend down and push his nose into her scalp, taking a long, dramatic sniff. “Oh, it doesn’t smell like strawberries.”

Aera laughed at this, shoving her not-boyfriend away from her softly. “Of course not. That’s like me saying your hair should smell like chocolates.”

Soobin had recently dyed his hair back to brown--well, dark brown, and as much as it made Aera sad to see the purple gone from his hair, it was well past due. His roots had grown out terribly, meaning that he was either going to have to redo his roots or retreat back to his natural brown. Also, the purple was less purple and more of a faded ash gray, from all the washing Soobin did to his hair.

For a while, he was set on just letting his hair grow out, then cutting it at the brown once the ash gray was to the tips of his hair but Aera told him he would look crazy. They debated about it for a few days, but one day Aera showed up at his house with a kit with brown hair dye and a few hours later his chocolate brown locks were back. 

“Well, if you used strawberry shampoo it would smell like strawberries.”

“I will when you use chocolate shampoo.”

Soobin pouted. “I bet Ariel’s hair smells like strawberries.”

“Go sniff her head then,” the red-head quipped. “And I actually highly doubt that is true. She lives in the ocean, you know. The place where fish pee--that ocean.”

“Is there another ocean that I should be thinking of?”

“Yeah,” There was a teasing lilt in Aera’s voice. “The one I’m going to toss you in if you keep sassing me.”

The two were currently sitting in Soobin’s living room on Saturday morning, Soobin having asked Aera on Friday night if she wanted to spend the next day with him. Of course, without hesitation, Aera agreed, telling him that she would be there by ten, and now they were there.

Soobin had suggested watching YouTube in his living room until his mom got home from the gym, and Aera found no issue with the idea. During the past hour and a half, they had watched way too many Girls’ Generation music videos, and even attempted to learn the choreography to Catch Me If You Can. After forty minutes of them attempting to get past the first verse, they called it quits. Soobin claimed that he was too talented in girl group choreography to continue and further embarrass Aera with her lackluster movements.

But if you asked Aera, Soobin just didn’t want to have a dance battle, because he knew he was going to lose.

At noon, Ruha walked through the front door, her arms loaded with three market bags, filled to the brim with groceries.

“Soobin-ah,” Ruha yelled, a little too loud since she hadn’t realized he was right there in the living room. “Come help me with my bags!”

Both Soobin and Aera rushed to help Ruha, the older woman being slightly startled by Aera being there but she quickly perked up and said, “Oh good, Ae Ae is here. More hands to help!”

Everything felt so natural with Soobin and his family. Aera had spent a lot of time at his house since the picnic, and his parents seemed to love her. Soobin’s dad was obsessed when he saw how small Aera was, often leaning his elbow on her head whenever he stood beside her as a way to ridicule and tease her about her height. Then when she turned up with red hair, he almost had a better reaction than Soobin, dubbing her Strawberry Shortcake and hasn’t stopped calling her that since.

Aera had also gotten Soobin’s parents’ phone numbers, Ruha often texting Aera at random times throughout the day whenever Soobin talked about her.

ruha-ssi

he said you brought him lunch to school today. says that he loves how much you care about him

i’m sure he cares about me way more than i do him

ruha-ssi 

does he show it well?

that he cares for you.

wouldnt ask for him to treat me any better than he already

does ruha-ssi.

Or the time Ruha told her that Soobin was sleep talking and had muttered her name.

ruha-ssi

he’s napping.

[picture attached]

ruha-ssi

he just grumbled your name and had the biggest smile

aw that’s so cute

ruha-ssi

i know :)))

Soobin was aware that Aera had his mother’s number, but he didn’t know that his mother was revealing just how lovestruck he was. Aera didn’t plan on mentioning it to him either, thinking that Ruha is godsent for giving her so much dirt and content to tease Soobin with whenever he decided to get too sassy with her.

Plus, Soobin has had Dongmin’s phone number much longer than Aera has had Ruha’s, and she is one-thousand percent positive that her mother lived to embarrass her, so Soobin for sure had some dirt on her.

 It’s a win-win situation, all is fair in love and war.

“So, Soobin-ah,” Ruha spoke as she walked into the kitchen. “What time do you want to head out?”

Aera was busy placing things where they belonged from the market bags (yes, she knows where their groceries belonged—she’s been over there that much), but she raised an eyebrow at Ruha’s question.

“Head out where?” she asked.

“Soobin wanted to take you to an early dinner today,” Ruha paused, with a nervous expression on her face. “I-I don’t know if it was supposed to be a surprise or not-”

“No, mom, it’s fine,” Soobin waved it off. “It wasn’t really a surprise, I was gonna mention it to you later, Pouts.”

Aera walked out of the pantry, an excited glint in her eyes. “Will there be steak at this dinner?”

“Do you want there to be steak?”

“Yes.”

“Then there will be steak.”

━━━━━━━

The restaurant Soobin had chosen was very dark, Aera noted. The only light that was supplied was from a single candle lit in the center of the table, which left everything as shadows and tinted orange.

It seemed super expensive, and once Aera picked up the menu, her suspicions were confirmed.

“Soobi,” her voice seemed hesitant. “How are you affording any of this?”

She should’ve realized that the meal was going to be an expensive one when Ruha had offered Aera one of her old dresses, seeing as Aera had came over to their house in a pair of ripped jeans and a tattered t-shirt. The dress Ruha lent her was a dark blue, high-necked dress, where the waist tapered in and then flowed out to mid-thigh. Luckily, Aera had worn black flats that day, those being the shoes closest to her front door when she left for Soobin’s house.

Soobin was dressed in a simple button up and black slacks. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, and the top button of his shirt was undone—if Aera hadn’t known better, she would’ve thought Soobin was a young adult that worked a nine-to-five office job and not a sixteen year old boy taking his not-girlfriend out for an early dinner.

Everything was fancy, and the two of them were tucked into a corner booth where once they sat down the hostess had wished ‘Mister and Missus Choi’ a nice evening. 

“Months of allowance that I’ve saved up,” Soobin lifted his gaze from the menu and once he saw how worried Aera was, he rushed to reassure her. “Plus, I work a summer job! Don’t worry, Pouts, I promise it’s not too much.”

“You don’t have to spend your allowance on me, Soobi,” she spoke softly. “You should spend it on something you really want-something to make you happy.”

“Seeing you happy makes me happy.”

Aera blushed. “Don’t try to flatter me into running your pockets dry.”

“Ae Ae, seriously,” Soobin put down his menu and reached his hands across the table to touch her hands, which laid on the table. He tugged her index fingers once, attempting to soothe her and get her to not worry. “It’s fine. If it makes you feel better we can just split something, so that way I won’t have to spend much.”

The crease in her eyebrows gradually faded and she nodded in agreement. “Are you okay with splitting a steak?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he nodded. “Just order whatever, I’ll eat anything.”

Aera looked over the menu, her eyes skipping over the more expensive items but honestly the cheapest things were the hor d'oeuvres and even those weren’t cheaper than 74,000 won. 

“How about I choose one, you choose one, then we pick something together?” she suggested. “That way we can both enjoy something.”

By the time the waiter came to the table, they had decided on their personal picks and their combined choice, and once the food came to the table, Aera knew it was more than enough. The steak she had chosen ended up being as big as her face and had the both of them gasping in surprise once it was set on the table. Soobin decided on a rose pasta, in a dish large enough that it could feed a family of five. And their combined choice was a large platter of American-style french fries, but the way the menu phrased it made it seem like they were ordering a fancy potato.

Soobin offered to have the kitchen take it back, but Aera refused to give back french fries--she’d be crazy to ever turn down french fries (plus it came with a gravy boat filled with a white sauce that Aera could literally guzzle down in one go, so she was more than happy to keep it).

The moment the waiter told them to enjoy, Aera was shoving her fork into the steak, which was thankfully pre-cut, and the second she bit into it, juice ran down her chin and she had to squeeze every muscle in her throat to not let out a moan.

Soobin noticed her expression, the way her eyes fell close and she paused mid-bite. “Is it good, Pouts?”

“Tho goof,” she attempted to speak around her bite but she just gave up and nodded enthusiastically. 

“It’s so juicy,” she said once she swallowed. 

When they were ordering, she wanted to get the steak cooked well-done, but Soobin had told her to get it medium preaching something about it being more tender and juicer as if he knew everything and anything about steak. Aera argued and said she didn’t want to cut into her steak and hear it mooing back at her, and Soobin chuckled but promised if it was too raw for her when it came out, they could just send it back and she obliged.

She most definitely was not sending back this beautiful piece of heaven, and shoved another piece into her mouth. The scene from Ratatouille when the rat fused together strawberry and cheese and had color swirling around his head played inside Aera’s head the second she took another bite of the steak. Her eyes were closed, her head lolled from side to side as she swayed euphorically to the warmth of the steak and the flavor on her tongue.

Once she noticed what she was doing, she sat up stark straight and opened her eyes, watching as Soobin recorded her and laughed silently at her actions.

“You seemed to be enjoying yourself alot there,” Soobin ended the recording and set his phone on the table.

“Delete that.”

“I won’t. Here,” Soobin held out his fork where some of his pasta was twirled on the end. “Try it.”

Aera opened her mouth, letting him guide the fork inside and once she closed her mouth around the fork, the Ratatouille scene played again. She pulled away from the fork, her hand shooting over her mouth as she chewed and her eyes shot wide.

“Good?” Soobin asked, stabbing his fork in a piece of steak and eating it, much less dramatically than Aera had. 

“Is amayshin,” Aera muttered. “Why ish ev-wee-shing hwere sho amayshin?”

Soobin swallowed and laughed. “It better be with these ridiculous prices.”

“Oh, yeah,” she nodded and swallowed her bite. “It’s so worth it.”

“I’m glad you like it.”

“I’m glad I like you,” Aera giggled, shoving some fries into her mouth. “You buy me expensive steak.”

“Only because of the steak?”

She nonchalantly shrugged. “Pretty much.”

Soobin faked a scoff, halfway knowing she was joking, but once he watched her pick up another piece of steak, and then kiss it before she ate it, he wasn’t so sure if she was joking anymore.

━━━━━━━━━

Thirty-five minutes and an entire steak later, Aera and Soobin were slouched over, bellies full, with their plates cleared.

“I am going to sleep so well tonight,” Aera grumbled as she rubbed her stomach. “This was so amazing.”

The waiter came to give the receipt and return Soobin’s card, wishing ‘Mister and Missus Choi’ a good night, and left them to their vices. Aera chuckled at being called Missus Choi, because did she look old enough to be married?

Did married people dye their hair red? She didn’t know but did she look married? Did her and Soobin resemble a married couple? Oh god, that just fueled her fantasy of marrying Soobin and she knew that she would never let this go.

“Alright,” Soobin groaned, shoving the receipt and card into his pocket as he stood and rounded the table, reaching his hand out to help Aera up from her chair. “You okay?”

Aera blew out a breath. “I’m stuffed.”

They both stood in place, Aera swaying a bit from standing up too quickly and Soobin attempted to stabilize her by setting a hand on her waist. “Careful.”

“I’m fine,” she tapped his hand on her waist. “I’m okay, just stood up a little too fast. Let’s go.”

They walked out of the restaurant hand-in-hand, Soobin somewhat leading Aera as she momentarily closed her eyes as a way to wheeze out air around her full belly. This was the best meal she has had in entire life, one that she never imagined having unless she was filthy rich and drank gold for breakfast, lunch, and dinner but here Soobin was taking her on a date just because he wanted to see her happy.

When they made it outside, Aera tugged his hand, causing him to stop and turn to her. She eased her arms around his waist, resting her head on his shoulder as she softly hugged him. He returned the gesture immediately, cuddling his head on top of hers and they just existed in the moment, in each other’s arms.

“Thank you for this, Soobin,” Aera squeezed him tightly, nuzzling her head further into his shoulder. “You made me really happy by doing this—you make me happy always.”

“I’m happy to make you happy,” Soobin chuckled, pulling away from the hug. “But the night isn’t over, we have one more stop!”

“Is  it far?”

Soobin nodded. “My mom is going to take us there. She’s on her way here now.”

“Where is it?”

“The beach.”

“The beach?”

Soobin nodded again. “The beach.”

“The beach,” Aera said flatly. “I like the beach.”

“That’s why we’re going.”

“Hm,” Aera sighed happily. “The beach.”

━━━━━━━━━━

Upon their arrival, Aera realized that when Soobin said the beach, he actually meant the boat dock by the beach. Well more like the yacht dock by the beach, because as they made their way to the end of the dock, they passed massive yachts, the type that only rich people could afford. Ones with balconies and two-stories that have some corny name etched onto the side that were either named after an important woman in their life or something like Old Betsy.

“What are we doing on a dock,” Aera giggled, swinging her and Soobin’s hands where they were connected. “I’m almost positive we aren’t supposed to be here.”

Soobin laughed as they came to stop in front of one of the smaller yachts, which wasn’t exactly small (but in comparison to the other yachts it was more compact), where a man was waiting for them.

“Choi Soobin?”

“Yes sir,” Soobin nodded, then gestured behind him. “And this is my mother, Ruha.”

The man extended his hand to Ruha, giving it a firm shake. “Yes, we spoke on the phone. Everything is set, if you guys want to climb on in, we’ll head out in about ten minutes.”

“Thank you,” Ruha said as the man helped her onto the yacht by her hand. 

The man then lent his hand to Aera, but instead of grabbing it, she took a step back, a conflicted look on her face.

“Wait,” Soobin placed his free hand on Aera’s wasit, causing her to look up at him. “You aren’t afraid of water, right? Boats or anything? Because I was just trying to surprise you, that’s why I didn’t as-”

“No, no,” Aera shook her head. “That’s not it, but Soobin how much was this?”

Soobin raised an eyebrow at the question, confused as to why she was asking this. “What?”

“It’s just—” she sighed. “You’re spending a lot of money today, and I don’t want you to think you have to blow a bunch of money just to make me happy. You could’ve just given me a bottle of water and I’d be happy that it came from you, so I don’t get why you are taking me to all these expensive places and things.”

“I just want to spoil you,” he softly replied. “Even if it’s just for a day. I want you to have some of the best experiences with me, so I don’t mind spending a lot of money on you.”

“But, Soob-”

“And plus,” Soobin smiled wide. “My friends chipped in to help, they wanted to make us both happy so they offered to help. You don’t have to pay them back, I don’t have to pay them back, they were just doing it out of the goodness of their hearts. Me as well.”

Aera stood there frozen.

“I just want you to be happy.”

“But I’m already happy with you.”

Soobin leaned down to rest his forehead on Aera’s. “Yes, but you’d be even more happy on the boat, so let’s go!”

Aera laughed as she reached out for the man’s hand, him having stood there and watched that whole sappy ordeal, and he pulled her into the boat. Soobin followed and guided Aera to the very front of the yacht, where Ruha sat with a blanket over her legs.

“Choi Soobin, this will be the last time you spend a shit ton of money on me, do you understand?” Aera scolded, her finger pointed at Soobin but a smile was on her face.

“Yes, ma’am, never again,” Soobin spoke jokingly, totally not meaning a word of what he just said. 

“You’re not going to listen to me are you?”

“Nope.”

The yacht got moving a few moments later, things feeling a bit shaky for a few minutes, but Aera acclimated to it quite fast. She and Soobin had taken to roleplaying the scene from Titanic that nearly everyone does when they are at the frontmost point on a boat.

Soobin held her waist as Aera held her arms out to her side, feeling the wind whip on her face and the smell of salt infiltrate her nose.

“The ocean is kind of stinky,” her nose scrunched up as she said this. “Smells like raw fish and high cholesterol.”

Soobin cackled, tightly wrapping his arms around Aera’s waist as he pulled her into his chest, her back to her front. “You ruined such a good moment.”

She giggled, placing her hands over his arms and squeezed. “I was just telling the truth.”

“Kids!” Ruha called out. “Come sit down for a few minutes, you’re making me nervous by the ledge.”

They obliged, walking to sit across from Ruha and they talked amongst themselves for a few minutes, playing a few rounds of rock paper scissors to pass the time.

“So are we just going to cruise around the ocean for a few hours or what?” Aera asked, peering over the side of the boat to look down into the water. “Because no offense to the ocean or anything, but this is a bit boring.”

Soobin pulled out his phone, checking the time before he answered, “Actually, no. Just seven minutes until what we came here for happens.”

Aera looked intrigued now, “Oh, is it fireworks? Are we looking at fireworks?”

“I don’t think lighting explosives on a yacht would be smart.”

“A yacht,” Aera chuckled. “Never thought I’d see one of these in my entire lifetime.”

“Well, there’s a first time for everything.”

“I’m glad my first time was with you,” she softly spoke, her voice almost a whisper.

“Me too,” Soobin smiled. “We’ll have many firsts together, hopefully.”

“Hopefully.”

At the moment, they were sitting side-by-side with their waist turned to face one another, but Soobin pointed behind Aera as he muttered, “Look.”

Aera turned her body around, to face the ocean, a gasp leaving her mouth as she absorbed the breathtaking scene in front of her. She watched as the sun burned a hypnotizing orange and pink hue, reflecting on the ocean’s surface. Slowly, the orb lowered to meet the horizon line, kissing it softly as the glares glittered across the rippling water.

She had seen nothing like this, ever. Mother nature and the Earth’s natural occurrences never appealed to Aera, they were never something she found interesting or attention-catching, but this—this was so worth it.

Her awestruck trance was broken when Soobin rested his chin on her shoulder, whispering, “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

“It’s-I-” Aera searched for the right words but there were none that could accurately describe exactly what she was witnessing. It made her speechless, her jaw going slack as she once again watched the sun move lower and lower.

They sat in silence, taking in the scenic view before them. Ruha sat opposite of them, snapping pictures of the sunset as she oh’ed and aw’ed at the scene.

“Pouts,” Soobin muttered into her ear, keeping his voice low so as to not ruin the moment. “I, uh-”

“Hm, Soobi?”

“Please, be my girlfriend.”

All of Aera’s breath left her body, all of her blood seemed to run cold. Was she hallucinating? Was she hearing things?

“Huh-” Oh god, she sounded so stupid. Who responds to the boy of their dreams asking them to be their girlfriend with ‘huh’.

“I-” Soobin sat up straighter, Aera being able to feel so behind her. “I really like you-no, love you, and I want to be with you. Officially. For a very long time.”

Aera eased her way around, turning to face Soobin who looked like he was going to pass out any second if she didn’t give him an answer within the next millisecond. So she carefully raised her hands to his cheeks, cupping his face softly.

“I’d love to be your girlfriend, Choi Soobin,” she breathed. “I’d kind of be an asshole if I said no after all of this, am I right?”

Soobin held onto her wrists. “I hope that isn’t the sole reason you are saying yes.”

“Lucky for you, it is not. It’s probably one of the lower list reasons.”

“There’s a list?”

She giggled. “There has always been a list.”

The sound of her giggle seemed to have him smitten, his eyes zoning in on her lips which caused her heart to skip a beat. She wasn’t dumb, she knew what he was thinking of, what his eyes were asking for, and for some reason, she had no qualms about complying.

Her first kiss was always something Aera fretted about, thinking about how awful it was going to be, how she was going to mess everything up. But for some reason, right here, right now, with Soobin, she knew for a fact it was going to be amazing. This is maybe the first and only decision Aera didn’t hesitate to make, and so she leaned in.

The touch of their lips was soft. Simple. A measly, quick peck.

When they pulled back, both of their cheeks were colored rose, a look of fondness between the two of them and Aera leaned in to kiss the the corner of Soobin’s mouth before pulling away and dropping her hands from his face.

“No takesies backsies, Choi Soobin.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it, Lee Aera.”

[the-scifi-blob]

Hanahaki & Patient Autonomy

cw: discussions of death, illness, forced care & medical ableism

It’s interesting how hanahaki AUs assume that patients are given complete agency over the medical interventions they do (or don’t) receive. AND how they show patients who sometimes prioritize things other than survival or full physical health.

This is an explanation of hanahaki: https://fanlore.org/wiki/Hanahaki_Disease 

I feel like in the fics I’ve read, there's usually a scene where the character with hanahaki is about to die & and someone (friend/family) yells at them in the hospital. It goes something like this:

Generic doctor: You have a week left to live.

Iwaizumi: Just get the stupid surgery, Shittykawa!

Oikawa: But Iwa-chan! *makes dramatic gesture* How will I find meaning in life without this love to form the core of my identity?

Generic doctor: *sips tea, eats popcorn, and is generally useless*

...And somewhere in the argument, Iwaizumi reveals that he has, in fact, been in love with his best friend for the better part of a decade. The flowers vanish. They walk off into the sunset. The doctor shrugs his shoulders. “Guess it turned out for the best.”

Angst-with-happy-ending tropes notwithstanding, it’s so funny how completely irrelevant the doctor is in these scenes. Also really interesting how people with hanahaki will hide their symptoms, refuse treatment, find one another and exchange ways to hide and survive - & all of this is seen as understandable or even commonplace. Especially since the characters are teenagers, the fact that they can just say “NO” and nobody in the clinic can override that is also striking and kind of cool.

I was trying to imagine how the lecturers in my community health program would react to hanahaki. I feel like all the doctors would be running around yelling: WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO SCREEN CHILDREN FOR FLOWERS. MRI or LDCT scan??! & all the research papers would be like: Hanahaki Prevention: Don’t let your children fall in love. And literally nobody would be okay with people opting out of surgery for some silly notion like *true love*.

Anyway. This is very long & I apologize. There are issues with hanahaki too, like how true love does not, in fact, make a disability magically vanish. (If folks are interested in Actual Good Takes on refusal, power, and expertise in medicine, would recommend Ruha Benjamin’s writing on informed refusal). But I do think it's interesting the amount of power these kids have to act against medical advice, & would love to hear more thoughts and takes on this

[elroymeg]

Perhaps the Seven were trying to tell him something.

Perhaps the Seven were trying to tell him something. It's a personal restaurant with a lot of personal touches; the aprons are part of that.". Every one knows how in our Southern States the boundaries of slavery are continually increasing, for want of some power there to perform the same kind office. "We are rooting for and predicting. For most folks who contemplate a home business, a low cost or no cost solution is not only nice, but also very necessary. The Lyseni took the table nearest to the fire and spoke quietly over cups of black tar rum, keeping their voices low so no zapatillas de tacos futbolone could overhear. "Again, it was an oddity for a young kid when I first started playing in the late '70s. Talk of the abuses of slavery! Humbug! The thing itself is the essence of all abuse. He must.” Lady Dustin chuckled. Its coils were gold, its wings silver, its three heads ivory, onyx, and jade. For instance, if you don't have the oil changed in the engine according to the suggested maintenance schedule and the engine fails as a result, the carmaker has the legal right to void

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Wyman Manderly laughed, but half a dozen of his knights were on their feet at once.

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. Above all she’s jealous of me. A goal was called on the ice, but after video review

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[hhsaryrud]

I ran and turned into another street

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I like to watch the sun come up as well.

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[vincentmacmillan]

Good luck and I hope you can play for a few more years in the Eastern Conference.

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[crownjimin]

094 | soora date, part one.

la vie en rose ━ in which lee aera, a girl who has been crushing on choi soobin for a long, long time, is starting her junior year and her friends decide that its time for her to make her move.

A/N: after a long awaited month, and some terrible writers block, you are presented with the chapter that all of these posts have built up to. part two will be posted on friday, enjoy!

( masterlist | prev | next )

From the moment Sooyung woke up on Saturday morning, everything burst into chaos.

Her phone housed multiple panicked texts from Jiah and Haeun, both of them freaking out about Aera’s reaction and if any of this was a good idea. (Sooyung herself wasn’t sure, so she left those unanswered). Hyunjin had also texted Sooyung, but his messages had less capital letters and a significantly less amount of exclamation points and distressed spongebob memes in comparison to Jiah and Haeun, so Sooyung answered his texts instead.

Once she answered his messages, she began getting ready for the day, since it was a big one after all. She had woken up at a quarter to noon, so she only had about thirty minutes to get ready before she had to meet Soobin at the park to make sure everything was set by the time one o’clock came around. Luckily for her--well not really luckily since Sooyung knew that she was most likely going to sleep in late anyway--she had packed away the food her mom prepared the night before and had already picked out her outfit, so all that was left for her to do now was get dressed and to brush her teeth and style her hair.

As she was brushing her hair, her phone rang with Ae Ae would like to FaceTime… popping up on the screen, and she quickly answered the call.

“‘Ello?” Sooyung muttered once she answered the call, focused on her hair. “Ae Ae, what’s up?”

“So, um,” Rumbling sounded through the phone, with the camera going black for a second before Aera’s floor was visible. “You told me I needed to dress suitable for this picnic--which I don’t know why because we are just sitting on the ground and eating food--but what exactly does suitable mean?”

Sooyung laughed to herself briefly, because of course Aera would describe a picnic as eating food on the ground, before she answered, “Suitable means wear a dress, Aera. Put on a dress.”

“But it’s cold out!” Sooyung could hear the pout in Aera’s voice, a pristine visual of her best friend’s pouty lips showing in her mind. “My legs will literally freeze off.”

“It’s not that cold, you’re being dramatic. If you are that worried, put on a sweater.”

Aera’s face then popped up on the camera, a worried glint in her eye. “I don’t have any sweaters.”

“Now you’re just lying,” Sooyung said, picking up her phone as she left the bathroom and walked down the stairs. She entered the kitchen, where her mother was sorting through the containers of food, making sure everything she prepared was safely tucked away. “Find a sweater, wear a cute dress, and please show up on time.”

“Okay, okaaaay,” Aera cheered as she yanked a piece of clothing into the view of the camera next to her face. “This dress okay?”

Upon further inspection (Sooyung squinting and bringing the phone super close to her face), Sooyung realized Aera was holding up a white, jean overall dress, which as Aera pointed out earlier, she would freeze her legs (and arms!!) off in.

“Ae, Ae you at least need sleeves.”

“I’m going to wear a long sleeve shirt underneath!” Aera shouted. “I just need to find one first.”

Sooyung noticed her mom leaning against the counter, with her arms crossed and look on her face that told Sooyung that her mom wanted to speak with her. So, at that, Sooyung knew it was time to wrap up the call.

“Okay, Ae Ae, that’s decent enough. Remember to be at the park at one-thirty sharp, okay?”

“One-thirty, on the dot. Got it, Yungie.”

And with that, the call disconnected. Quickly, Sooyung shoved her phone into the back pocket of her jeans and looked to her mom to see what she had to say.

“So, run by me again why you’re having a picnic at the beginning of November, when the temperatures are almost unsuitable to be picnicking in,” her mom began rambling as Sooyung fixed herself a small breakfast.

“Well, mom,” Sooyung took a bite of an apple. “There’s this guy, Soobin, who likes Aera. And he wants to confess to her-”

“Is Soobin the kid that Aera mentioned last year,” Her mother asked. “The super tall one with dimples?”

Sooyung nodded.

“Okay, continue.”

“Well, he enlisted the help of me, Jiah, and Haeun-” A brief ‘Oh boy’, came from her mother, but Sooyung simply ignored it. “-to help him confess. So we put together this little picnic for him, so he can do it at the park.”

Her mother nodded at that, a charmed and affectionate glint in her eye. “That’s sweet, Yung-ah. And does Aera like him back?”

“Yes, she really does, which is why I want everything to go as smooth as possible, so we have to leave soon,” Sooyung finished off her apple and threw the core into the trash can. “I told Soobin we’d get to the park before one to set everything up.”

“Alright,” Her mother headed over to the bowl placed by the front door and grabbed her keys. “What am I doing with the food, is there a basket?”

“Yes,” Sooyung pointed at her mother as she answered, “But Jiah has it, so we can’t put the food in it until we get to the park.”

Sooyung’s mother moved back to the kitchen, taking the containers of food into her hands. “I’m going to begin loading these into the car. We can leave now, and I’ll help with the final touches, okay?”

Sooyung nodded, polishing off the glass of water she started to drink before she pulled out her phone and texted the soora world domination group chat.

@ yunggoddess: leaving the house now, the first step of the last phase is about to start.

────────────────

For Soobin, the entire Saturday morning, he was freaking out. He had never put so much thought and effort into something like he did for this date with Aera. Even though Sooyung was the one to initially come up with the idea to have a picnic, Soobin thought of virtually everything else.

He had made sure that all of the food that Sooyung’s mother was preparing were things that Aera liked, he made sure that the flowers Haeun was going to pick up would be something that conveyed his feelings for Aera perfectly. (They ultimately decided on a combination of white carnations and red chrysanthemums, something that came about after extensive research was done on flowers and their meanings.)

But while settling the food and flowers was a hassle, choosing the perfect outfit for the special day seemed even harder than Soobin was anticipating. Hyunjin was on outfit duty, something unanimously decided based on the way he dresses himself on occasions that aren’t as important as first dates and crush confessions.

“Soob, you can’t wear jeans,” Hyunjin said, tearing through his friends closet for a decent pair of slacks. “That’s heinous. I won’t allow it.”

Soobin groaned, his head in his hands. “I’m so freaking nervous, Jin. What if everything doesn’t go as planned?”

“It will,” the sound of a hanger being pulled from the closet was heard before a pair of khaki slacks were thrown in Soobin’s face. “Don’t worry about it, seriously. Now put those on while I find a shirt.”

Wordlessly, Soobin stood to take off the sweats he was already wearing, his heart beating at an alarming rate, to the point where it hurt to even swallow. Everything seemed unreal, like it was a dream and Soobin wasn’t actually in charge of his own actions.

As he pulled the first leg of the slacks onto his body, he stopped for a second to glimpse at the article of clothing. When did he buy a pair of khaki slacks? 

“Jin, you got these from my closet?” Soobin called out as he zipped up and buttoned the pants.

“Uh, yeah,” his friend responded. “Where else would I get them from? Put these on.” A white shirt and purple sweater are thrown, once again, in Soobin’s face.

“A purple sweater with purple hair,” Soobin mindlessly muttered. “Won’t that clash?”

Hyunjin paused at that, looking hard at his friend before he motioned for Soobin to put the sweater on. Soobin complied, feeling a bit awkward as his friend’s heavy and scrutinizing gaze set on him. 

“I think,” Hyunjin took a brief pause. “I think it’s fine. Soob,” Hyunjin’s hands come up to ruffle Soobin’s hair as a fond expression came across his face. “You’re really about to get a girlfriend, dude.”

“I know,” Soobin huffed a deep breath. “At least I hope so.”

Hyunjin patted Soobin’s head twice and then sent two thumbs up his way. “You ready to go?”

“Yeah,” Soobin nodded. “Yeah.”

The two of them descended the stairs of Soobin’s house, meeting up with Soobin’s mother, Ruha, who sat on the couch in the living room.

“We all ready to go boys?” She asked, rising to her feet. She was accompanying them to the park since it was quite far from their house and neither Soobin or Hyunjin could drive themselves. 

The boys nodded coupled with sounds of approval and the three of them left the house. Once in the car, Ruha turned over the engine and they were off. 

“So, Soob,” his mother called out. “You nervous?”

When Soobin had asked his mom to take Hyunjin and him to the park on Saturday, she readily agreed since it wasn’t out of the ordinary for her son and his friends to spend their free time at the park. And she planned to leave it at that, but on Wednesday afternoon, when Soobin came home from school, he asked his mother when she went on her first date, what gift she would have liked to receive.

Now Ruha, as a normal human being who was once a teenager herself, knew that one day Soobin was going to start dating. But for some reason, when he asked her this question, she felt scared. Scared for Soobin and the future of his heart, but also scared that her son was really growing up and felt ready to go on his first date.

Once she got past the initial shock, she asked her son about why he was asking these things and specifically, for who he was asking for. And that’s when everything came spilling out, about how Soobin liked someone, he was planning to confess to her, and that he had no idea what he and his friends were doing.

She had suspicions that Aera was that someone, because she hadn’t known about Soobin spending time with anyone outside of his usual group of friends, besides her. So with some prying and not so sly alluding, Ruha got Soobin to admit that, yes, it was Aera, and that Saturday at the park was when he was going to confess.

Ruha was on board one hundred percent, telling Soobin then and there that she wanted to be present when he decided to make this big step. She wasn’t going to stay the entire date, but she wanted to help set up and see Aera before everything went down, so on the drive to the park she was excited and ready for her son to express his feelings for the first time ever.

“I’m a bit nervous,” Soobin honestly answered, rubbing his sweaty palms onto his khaki pants. “Like, everything should be perfect, it should be, but the part where I have to voice my feelings is what is getting to me.”

Ruha made a sympathetic sound, to let Soobin know that she was listening and that she understood his hesitancy, “Just remember to take a deep breath before you start pouring your heart out. Take your time, collect your th-”

“Just tell her you love her,” Hyunjin interrupted from the backseat. “Tell her you haven’t stopped thinking about her since you met her.”

“Or,” Ruha nodded in agreement with Hyunjin. “You can do that.”

Soobin raised an eyebrow in confusion and slightly in embarrassment that Hyunjin so carelessly threw around the ‘L’ word when he mentioned Soobin’s feelings for Aera. Soobin never thought about if he loved Aera or not, but he did know that he liked her. And that was enough.

“I’ll do something, which most likely will not be using the ‘L’ word, but thanks.”

From there, the car ride passed in a blur. Hyunjin texted the group chat when they arrived and at which side of the park there were at, and a few minutes later Sooyung and her mom showed up carrying the multiple containers of food. Hyunjin, Soobin, and Ruha rushed to help them with the containers, and Soobin and Sooyung’s moms introduced themselves to one another.

“Where are Jiah and Haeun?” Hyunjin asked, leading the group on the path into the park.

“Jiah is heading this way now,” Sooyung nodded further down the path where Jiah and her mom where heading towards the three of them. “And Haeun is running a bit late. She said the flower shop was packed.”

“I thought she ordered ahead of time,” Soobin said.

“She did. It’s just the flower shop only has two workers, and when thirty people are asking for multiple types of flowers, it can get backed up,” Sooyung explained. But Soobin didn’t like that answer and Sooyung noticed the deflation in his expression so she rectified it by saying,”But don’t worry! She’ll be here. We still have thirty minutes before Aera is set to show. We’ll be fine.”

Jiah made her way towards them, the basket and blanket she was tasked with bringing in hand and her mother trailed not too far behind. As expected, her mother went to group up with Sooyung’s and Soobin’s mother, while the four of them set off into the park to find a nice spot to set camp for their picnic.

Originally, the Soora World Domination group thought that finding a place for the picnic was going to be easy, thinking that not a lot of people would want to have a picnic when the temperatures were dropping faster with the fall season coming into swing, but they were sorely mistaken. 

Everywhere they turned were people. Some walked their dogs, others playing instruments idly, some painted with their friends, and others (like the SWD group were there to do) were having picnics.

“So,” Jiah trailed off as they stopped walking on the path and surveyed their surroundings. “We didn’t anticipate such a large crowd.”

“How can a park,” Hyunjin huffed. “With like, a hundred acres-”

“I don’t think a hundred is accurate, but continue.” Sooyung pitched in.

And continue, Hyunjin did. “-Be completely occupied? Like all of it?” 

“Well,” Soobin was prepared to respond, but Jiah cut him off.

“Wait, Soobin,” Jiah shot out her arm to catch the other three’s attention. “Aera said something about you showing her a waterfall when you guys came here before. Where is it?”

“Uh,” Soobin spun in a circle, surveying the park. “Back towards the South side of the park, it’s super hidden so it should be vacant.”

Hyunjin and Sooyung perked up at that.

“Well lead the way, Choi,” Sooyung shouted. “We only have twenty minutes left!”

The four of them (plus their lingering mothers) followed Soobin through the park, most of their hands loaded with materials to help bring together the picnic. Once they made it to the secluded area, past the bushes and in front of the waterfall, everyone took a brief moment to take in the scenery.

“Wah, Soob-ah,” Ruha called out, spinning in a circle as she examined it all. “This is perfect, it’s all so pretty.”

While Sooyung and Hyunjin simultaneously gasped, “There is a fucking waterfall.”

Jiah took her time placing the blanket on the ground, and separating it so that all of the folding creases weren’t visible. She used a few stray rocks that were lying around to hold down the blanket, since the wind seemed to be strong at the moment.

Once Sooyung and Hyunjin realized Jiah was setting things up, they stopped staring at the waterfall and helped place the basket and food down in a neat way. Time ticked on as the three of them argued which corner of the blanket the basket should sit on, Sooyung adamant that the placement of the basket was detrimental to the layout of everything. Hyunjin argued that placing it in the middle was good enough, while Jiah immediately disapproved of his recommendation and set the basket on the very edge of the blanket, as to not cover anything.

“Just shove it in the right corner,” Sooyung awkwardly crawled onto the blanket and put the basket in the corner. “See, it looks fine.”

“It doesn’t,” Hyunjin snapped, grabbing the basket and placing it in the middle of the blanket. “Then this way we can put the food out around the basket. Like a radial type of set up.”

Both Sooyung and Hyunjin looked to Jiah for the final verdict, and she ultimately agreed with Hyunjin, thinking the center placement was the best option.

Meanwhile, Soobin had been swept up by the group of mother’s, speaking to Sooyung’s and Jiah’s mothers about how he was planning to confess. They coached him on what to say and what to avoid saying, coaching him through his rehearsed version of his feelings that he had constructed in his head.

“Don’t ramble,” Sooyung’s mother, Serim, called out. “Try to make it concise, straight to the point.”

Jiah’s mom, Kiha, sighed softly, crossing her arms across her chest. “I remember when I got my first boyfriend, it was so nerve wracking. So yes, Soobin-ah, keep it short and simple. Just speak from the heart.”

“But my heart has so much it wants to say.”

“Paraphrase kid,” Serim said, slapping him on the back.

“IM HERE! IM HERE, NO ONE CONFESSED YET RIGHT?!?!?!?!” Haeun shouted as she ran up to the group, the bouquet of flowers in her hand.

“No, not yet,” Jiah deadpanned, taking the flowers from her hands and handing them to Soobin.

“Good, good,” Haeun hunched over, placing her hands on her knees as she attempted to catch her breath. “Oh, and I think I saw Aera and Dongmin on my way here.”

And all hell broke loose at that.

Sooyung rushed to pull out her phone, a text from Aera asking her where they were meeting for the picnic showing up on her phone. Hyunjin jumped up from his laying position on the picnic blanket and he rushed over to Soobin, making sure his clothes looked nice. Jiah ran over to Sooyung, waiting for her next instructions on how to coerce Aera into the cut where the waterfall was without her becoming suspicious.

And Haeun, well she was still trying to catch her breath.

“Okay, Jiah, Haeun, come with me,” Sooyung rushed out. “Soobin, stay here. Hyunjin, you and the moms have like five minutes to hide before Aera comes over here.”

Soobin switched the flowers back and forth in his hands nervously, walking over to the picnic blanket to stand where Aera will be able to see him as soon as she cleared the bushes.

“Haeun, let’s go,” Sooyung yanked the out of breath girl behind her and the three girls left the waterfall clearing and began to head to the entrance of the park where Aera said she was.

“Now, here is how this is going down,” The three of them quickly rush down the path to meet Aera as Sooyung talked. “Haeun you'll stand somewhere down here and as I go get Aera I’ll send her farther down the path where Jiah will be. Then JiJi you will send Aera to Haeun, then Haeun will lead her to the clearing. Okay?”

“Okay.” Haeun and Jiah nodded simultaneously.

[lailoken]

QUTUB: The Point

—by Andrew D. Chumbley

Part 5 (Stanzas 39 - 62)

39. Thine Eye in seeking — seeth not. The Reaching Hand – it graspeth air. Though blind and bound — Thine Eye and Hand Have found Me — Neither Here nor There. Whilst either side the Temple-door Men rush to lie with Priest or Whore — All pass Me naked on the stair.

40. Doth Allah unto Adam speak Or doth an Idol sing Man's Verse? Whilst I into the Harem creep With Gold, fall'n, from the Temple-purse. And there with Thee, Mine Odalisque, I'll pass an hour and take the risk — To watch Them both My Words rebearse!

41. I do not err, but aberrate, No Virtue Sin may not redress. I do but turn — the Other Face — To Those that strike, return no less. From ev'ry Cup my lips shall taste, Nor spare that Drop which Fools do waste, — Who drink, then fall in God's Winepress.

42. O' Crime! What is Thine Infamy? The Shame in which we cloak our need? A Veil to bide that which we fear? The Book in which we may not read? O' Evil! Who art the Drug Divine! Who maketh blood to taste like wine, Thou hast made mine eyes to see In Golden Fruit — a Leaden Seed.

43. By Year, by Day, and by each Moment: The Abyss cross'd, the Pathway stray'd. Each Sacrifice doth mark the Road, Each Slough: Old Flesh from New Flesh – flay'd! Great Instants mark this Lightning-birth, And far beyond both Womb and Grave — From Dead Stars wast Mine Image made.

44. Over what pass I upon the Bridge? Self to Self over Self's Abyss. There my death and there my tryst: In Mirrors crack'd — the Mirror'd kiss. Most loath'd, yet most desired, The One that through the crack doth slip, — Whose Curse is Mine, but Mine to miss.

45. The Well, that once gave life to Me, Hath in the Drought of Love run dry. The Desert's Soul bath stole all Joy, And taught the Very Muse to die. Yet from this Cause of Vast Lament Run tears — suffice all thirsts to quench: Tears wept from Secret Pleasure's Eye.

46. A Thousand Unfinish'd Banquets Are tasted with a single bite Of blood — bright fangs through bone — white skin — To fill my Soul with black delight. This Love shall not 'til Morning live, Yet Tomorrow shall its death forgive — With a finger held to the Lips of Night.

47. The Hell of Those who cannot speak , Whose hearts grow cold with untold pain, Whose love still — born dieth unfulfill'd, Whose thoughts upon the Tongue's leash strain. This Muted Crowd — my sorrows bear, And in their silence — silence share. Yet by the Quill — in Hell I reign.

48. A Mirage 'pon the Prophet's Tower: A Darkly - shining Silhouette , A Crowned Man of Shadow form'd A - top the Temple's Minaret. It whisp'reth to the Muezzin To clip or lift the Prayer's Wing And cast God from the Parapet.

49. Unseen, Who stalketh behind oʻThee Whene'er Thou dost walk out alone, Who creepeth nigh all dying men To separate their flesh from bone; Then draweth down the dust of Age To dry the blood spilt on the Page And hide the Life within the Stone.

50. The Sleeper lieth 'pon the rock, Tether'd to the line of shadow; It dreameth dreams of Death and Time Where Life's River runneth shallow. 'til Time's untimely turning wheel Doth all dreamt-of fortune steal, Pierced through by Fate's true-aiméd arrow.

51. Sheath'd in a mask of emerald — The Desert 'neath the Verdant Land, Until the Sapphire Waters wash The Pearl from out each Grain of Sand. Upon that Sea the Stone shall float: A Light to lure the Mages' Boat, Like Dew caught on the Spider-strand.

52. Amid the Company of the Wise, From lip to lip Truth taketh flight, And word from word they tear apart All thoughts that are not hid from sight. Cease! For now Thy Book is writ. The Muse's Hand stirreth Wisdom's Bowl — And Thee within that Cucurbite.

53. All Antient Books of Lore shall burn, And then will countless wise men shout; Their tongues — the flames outstretch'd to cry: A Prayer to put the fire out. But one Sage will silent be, And in the flames — my words will see: "The Truth Within is Truth Without.”

54. The Silence lock'd within the Note Hath found a Voice within the Flute, And there, in playing out my Song, Hath lent its Speech unto the Mute. Though Sage and Fool oft' speak at leisure, And speaking seek the Other's Pleasure — Who may with Silence hold dispute?

55. The Hell of Those who do but speak, Whose tongues but move the air in vain; Their voices stifle Heart and Thought — Who live to speak their lives again. Their Prayers are Curses that repeat Their Sins and thus their Silence cheat. All Words are Lies, yet Truth sustain.

56. The Messiah and the Liar — Both rhyme and share a single meaning. How may a man of Virtue learn, When others seek to bear his sin? These Hands 'pon Heaven's Broken Tablet Break bread with New Reality — To feed the Man of Manless Kin.

57. The Brothel-keeper and the Priest — Both at the Sinner's Pleasure eat, And oft' from Wisdom's Coffer thieve A Bowl for begging in the street; And in that Cup catch equal coins For Prayers to part the Virgin's loins. Both with their tears wash Wisdom's feet.

58. The Pearl, where-in the Moon is caught, Hath 'pon my tide reach'd Ruha's shore. Tho' Gold may steal of Heaven's Light, What Coin may ope' Thy Crimson Door? A Leaden Disk from a Dead Man's Tongue Will buy the Soul of the Lustrous Sun And make Thy Flesh — My Temple-floor!

59. "Musick! Lift up my Sacrifice!" Thus sang the Lapis Flute for Djann, “And at my Word, let fall the Blade Upon the ripen'd field of Man. Let Old Adam bend beneath the Scythe And grant the New his bloody tithe." Thus sang the Voice of Azrvan!

60. The Dagger drawn across the lips Stealeth more than a common kiss, Divideth more than mortal flesh, To draw from Thee the Serpent's biss. Thrust deep, thrice-turn'd about the Heart, This Knife shall to Thy Soul impart — The Pain of Hell as Heaven's Bliss.

61. The World is swath'd within flay'd skin, Torn from my back and hung to dry: A Cerecloth for another corpse, And yet another, by and by; A swaddling cloth to wrap the Babe Who suckleth straight the Hanged Man's Seed. Our First Words — they do but echo That which we utter as we die.

62. The Winking Eyes of Az’ra-il, One open wide for ev'ry Soul, Cast forth their stare upon each life: An eyeliad of burning coal. And with each death an eye doth close, As Winter's Hand plucketh Summer's Rose. Our Lives are done, yet Our Sight is whole.

[ellierreads]

Nonfiction Book List

A collection of nonfiction books by Black authors and/or related to intersectional race and gender studies, history, as well as other various topics. The list below is a compilation of various lists I have seen on Instagram, as well as research I’ve done on my own. I am sure I am missing important works, and am happy to add anything that is suggested. This list will be regularly added to and updated. 

Race & Anti-Racism

Diangeo, Robin - White Fragility

Eddo-Lodge, Renni - Why I’m No Longer Talking to White People About Race

Kendi, Ibrahim X. - How to Be Anti-Racist

Mahzarin, Banaji & Greenwald, Anthony - Blindspot

Oluo, Ijeoma - So you want to talk about race

Omi and Winant - Racial Formation in the United States

Rankine, Claudia - Citizen

Roberts, Dorothy - Killing the Black Body

Smith, Andrea - Heteropatriarchy and the Three Pillars of White Supremacy

Sowell, Thomas - Black Rednecks and White Liberals

Waheema & Lubiano - The House that Race Built

Ward, Jesmyn - The Fire This Time

Prison Abolition & the Justice System

Alexander, Michelle - The New Jim Crow

Davis, Angela - Are Prisons Obsolete?

Murakawa, Naomi - The First Civil Right

Stefanic & Delgado - Critical Race Theory: An Introduction

Stevenson, Bryan - Just Mercy

Rothstein, Richard - The Color of Law  

Policing

Vitale, Alex S. - The End of Policing

Intersectional Feminism

Bambara, Toni Cade - The Black Woman, An Anthology

Carruthers, Charlene - Unapologetic: A Black, Queer, and Feminist Mandate for Radical Movements

Cooper, Brittney - Eloquent Rage

Collins, Patricia Hill - Black Feminist Thought

Collins, Patricia Hill - Black Sexual Politics

Cottom, Tressie McMillan - THICK and Other Essays

Crenshaw, Kimberle - On Intersectionality

Davis, Angela - Women, Race, & Class

Davis, Dána-Ain - Reproductive Injustice: Racism, Pregnancy, and Premature Birth

Gay, Roxane - Bad Feminist

Gumbs, Alexis Pauline - Spill: Scenes of Black Feminist Fugivity

Hernandez, Ed. Daisy and Rehman, Bushra - Colonize This! Young Women of Color on Today’s Feminism

hooks, bell - Ain’t I a Woman

hooks, bell - All About Love

hooks, bell - Feminism is for Everybody: Passionate Politics

Jenkins, Morgan - This Will Be My Undoing

Jones-Rogers, Stephanie E. - They Were Her Property: White Women as Slave Owners in the American South

Kendall, Mikki - Hood Feminism

Lorde, Audre - Sister Outsider

Morales, Rosario - This Bridge Called My Back

Morgan, Joan - When Chickenheads Come Home to Roost: A Hip Hop Feminist Breaks it Down

Oyěwùmí, Oyèrónkẹ́ - The Invention of Women: Making an African Sense of Western Gender Discourses

Shakur, Assata - Assata: An Autobiography

Simpson, Leanne Beta - As We Have Always Done

Williamson, Terrion L. - Scandalize My Name: Black Feminist Practice and the Making of Black Social Life

Wilson & Russell - Divided Sisters

Yamahtta-Taylor, Keeanga - How We Get Free

Masculinity

hooks, bell - The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love

hooks, bell - We Real Cool: Black Men and Masculinity

History

Asante Jr., M.A. - It's Bigger Than Hip Hop: The Rise of the Post-Hip-Hop Generation

Baldwin, James - The Fire Next Time

Berry, Daina Ramey & Gross, Kali Nicole - A Black Women’s History of the United States

Gates Jr., Henry Louis - Stony the Road: Reconstruction, White Supremacy, and the Rise of Jim Crow

Blackmon, Douglas A. - Slavery by Another Name: The Re-Enslavement of Black Americans from the Civil War to World War II

Du Bois, W.E.B. - The Souls of Black Folk

Hartman, Saidiya - Wayward Lives, Beautiful Experiments: Intimate Histories of Social Upheaval

Hurston, Zora Neale - Barracoon: The Story of the Last “Black Cargo”

Johnson, E. Patrick - Black, Queer, Southern Women.: An Oral History

Jones-Rogers, Stephanie E. - They Were Her Property: White Women as Slave Owners in the American South

Kendi, Ibram X. - Stamped from the Beginning: The Definitive History of Racist Ideas in America

Snorton, C. Riley - Black on Both Sides: A Racial History of Trans Identity

Taylor, Candacy A. - Overground Railroad: The Green Book & Roots of Black Travel in America

Washington, Harriet A. - Medical Apartheid

Wilkerson, Isabel - The Warmth of Other Suns

Zinn, Howard - A People’s History of the United States

Politics/Economy

Anderson, Carol - One Person, No Vote: How Voter Suppression Is Destroying Our Democracy

Baptist, Edward E. - The Half Has Never Been Told: Slavery and the Making of American Capitalism

Psychology

Menakem, Resmaa - My Grandmother's Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Mending of Our Bodies and Hearts

Tatum, Beverly Daniel - "Why Are All The Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?": A Psychologist Explains the Development of Racial Identity

Literary Criticism

Morrison, Toni - Playing in the Dark: Whiteness and the Literary Imagination

Education

hooks, bell - Teaching to Transgress: Education as the Practice of Freedom

Science & Technology

Benjamin, Ruha - Race After Technology: Abolitionist Tools for the New Jim Code

Skloot, Rebecca - The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks

Shetterly, Margot Lee - Hidden Figures: The American Dream and the Untold Story of the Black Women Mathematicians Who Helped Win the Space Race

Autobiography/Memoir

Angelou, Maya - I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

Bernard, Emily - Black Is the Body: Stories from My Grandmother's Time, My Mother's Time, and Mine

Broom, Sarah M. - The Yellow House

Brown, Austin Channing - I’m Still Here: Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness

Coates, Ta-Nehisi - The Beautiful Struggle

Coates, Ta-Nehisi - Between the World and Me

Hinton, Anthony Ray - The Sun Does Shine: How I Found Life and Freedom on Death Row

hooks, bell - Bone Black: Memories of Girlhood

Jones, Saeed - How We Fight For Our Lives

Khan-Kullors, Patrisse and Bandele, Asha - When They Call You a Terrorist: A Black Lives Matter Memoir

Laymon, Kiese - Heavy: An American Memoir

Mock, Janet - Redefining Realness: My Path to Womanhood, Identity, Love & So Much More

Noah, Trevor - Born a Crime

Obama, Barack - Dreams from My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance

Obama, Michelle - Becoming

Shakur, Assata - Assata: An Autobiography

Welteroth, Elaine - More Than Enough

Wright, Richard - Black Boy

X, Malcolm - The Autobiography of Malcolm X

Comedy

Bell, W. Kamau - The Awkward Thoughts of W. Kamau Bell: Tales of a 6' 4", African American, Heterosexual, Cisgender, Left-Leaning, Asthmatic, Black and Proud Blerd, Mama's Boy, Dad, and Stand-Up Comedian

Haddish, Tiffany - The Last Black Unicorn

Rae, Issa - The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl

Robinson, Phoebe - You Can't Touch My Hair: And Other Things I Still Have to Explain

[disaster-bi-shan]

assorted oc thoughts

im bored and sick so here

Pannatt loves yoghurt, especially yoghurt pots. She'd happily eat them all day, which Doc doesn't approve of because she'll get malnourished so he convinces her to try more high protein versions too.

(In a really off the wall bodyswap fic idea where thanks to valkorion hijinks ry and pannatt swap consciousnesses, Theron can tell something's off when he finds what looks like ry with a tray of snap pot blue milk yoghurt in hand. Meanwhile "Pannatt's" made a bee line for the kitchen and repeatedly crosses her arms infront of her trying very hard not to dig her nails into them and scratch her arms up. Also knocking her head and montrals on doorframes and open cupboard doors while she pulls out ingredients for baking something.)

Salvurr's a demi-girl! so all the dvuhmi grandmas are at least gnc if not all trans (ruha is a butch lesbian and uses she/her and he/him pronouns. also makes it easier for their kids to differentiate between them when talking about one of them, because three mothers mean lots of confusion about who they're referring to.)

Sometimes Salvurr's former husband drops in to visit with his husband :D

ry's favourite animals are kath hounds and brith from dantooine. thrantas are a close second, but mostly because they remind him of the brith.

silanu loves flowy clothing, both robes and casual wear. makes them look like they don't have a form at all which is great for androgyny :D. Also very dramatique when their long cardigan billows out from behind them as they walk.

the Dvuhmi siblings used to make pillowforts in their shared bedroom and sleep in a cuddlepile there when one of them was upset. They stopped when ry disappeared.

Eebie's thought to be a runt because while he grows normally for a while from a baby hatchling into the in-game mini pet size keet, his growth is stunted for a bit so he ends up being a shoulder bird with nashka for a little bit up until her late teens when he suddenly has a massive growth spurt and can barely fit through the doorway. He's at least at the size ce'nashka can ride by that point.

If Ry laughs hard enough he snorts and immediately gets embarrassed and self conscious because he "sounds like a grophet" and he got shamed by some of the kids in his hometown/village on Dantooine for it, so he tries VERY hard not to laugh too much.

Pannatt had a short relationship with Leeha Narezz. maybe even part of a polyship with Jomar, though she's a lesbian so it would only be with Leeha. She also pined a lot for Kira. And they're both knights in my canon, bc the Padawan thing is silly.

Turaa and Elara go cheer eachother on when they go to conventions to deliver talks on engineering and medicine respectively.

Ry has two missing fingernails/claws on his non dominant hand, his right. It was a punishment for not throwing the fight to one of the cage beasts. The progress on the second finger was botched because he managed to overcome the force restraints and push the person doing it into the wall. They stopped after that and only put him on more sedatives while out of the ring. He's still got like, phantom pain from them even though eventually he gets an inconspicuous cybernetic replacement for the joints that were ruined in question.

He's also got neural implants to help with the aftermath of being shocked a lot being hard on his nervous system. Those get overloaded when Valkorion possessed him and he has to get pretty extensive implants or else his arms shake too much to do anything with them.

Ce'nashka learnt to crochet from Jaesa from her old days making lace as a handmaid to Giselle Organa!

(she also has a baby crush on her.)

(ce'nashka idolises vette too.)

teffhan is a neurotic little kid and is anxious about a lot of stuff, so he needs a lot of reassuring (and hugs). if his dads aren't around or able to give him hugs at the time, ce'nashka holds his hand.

On that note, while he takes a while to warm up to people, if baby teffhan likes you he will Not Let Go and possibly fall asleep on you. Jaesa and Vette had this happen to them a lot.

teffhan and ce'nashka held eachother in their sleep as babies and into toddlerhood.

Sometimes if Ry falls asleep cuddling the twins while Theron's still up, he likes to take a holo with his implants of them and rewatch it later when he's away.

Ry gets a dad tum because he can't maintain that body type with two kids. also because it's cute.

An oldie - Ce'nashka used to be very grabby as a baby so Ry had to nearly always keep his hair tied up, and later when she's got a bit more motor control he lets her practice braiding it and leaves her handiwork in, even on semi-official business and holocalls bc he's got No Embarrassment whatsoever bc he's too proud of Nashka to care.

She tells Theron to grow his out so she can braid his too, but then she reconsiders when he shows her a picture with his teen mullet. "I don't like it." Theron was crushed.

Jakarro and C2-D4 have sometimes babysat the twins (under vigilance of someone else)

Teffhan first met Teff'ith as a baby and though initially she didn't know how to hold a baby at all when Theron asked if she'd like to hold him, she grew to have a soft spot for the kid named after her.

Mezkai sketches candids of the crew while they're doing things, and they know he's there, they don't mind.

He's probably done loads of akaavi while she's training. Big emphasis on her back and arm muscles lmfao. Maybe even a couple of coloured in portraits of her from memory.

Kai had a Talk with Corso about when he was presenting femininely wrt the whole chivalry thing. It was weird and a little uncomfortable at first but ultimately they got closer as friends.

at some point silanu and felix adopt a little non force sensitive sith pureblood who'd been orphaned during the kotfe timeskip.

Mezkai and Silanu have a living parent, a human sith dad (both their parents were slaves but the dad was force sensitive so he was shipped off to train before they got to know him enough to remember him). He only knew them both as boys and different names, so he doesn't know they're alive or that the Barsen'thor or the illustrious Republic privateer that keep interfering with Imperial operations are his children until he finds himself in a confrontation with both of them seeing how alike they look like their late mother and him.

Kai was nearly made into a /full/ Child of the Emperor, the Emperor's Hand originally thought Kai would be the strong force sensitive one because Silanu was a late bloomer and they sensed nothing from Sil at the time. They clearly fucked up on that count. But that does mean at one point Sil has to fight Kai and snap him out of it.

Penndi's plants and constructs are sentient, and she can tap into them to increase the range of her senses, as she's a Sith alchemist specialising in phytokinesis, botany and necromancy. She likes to call herself a necrobotanist.

Silanu and Kai don't remember much of when they were kids on Ziost, they were put on a transport at four to neutral space by their mother and a Green Jedi, probably one of Pannatt's dads, intercepted the carrier, taking them to Corellia.

turaa's been shortlisted for the bao-dur science prize twice (dang oggurobb) :D

sil and ry would've been really good childhood friends had they met when they were younger because people were scared of their powers and both autie with not very good people skills. probably pannatt too? they're all good friends as adults by the end of kotfe though! they originally form a mini coalition to take down Malgus on Ilum with the rest of my ocs, and then that comes to include the SoR gang and eventually that becomes the alliance.

(slightly unrealistic but hillarious) Vette comes to learn Ry and Theron don't know what a dad joke is, or at least why they're so terrible (Ry has three lesbian mothers, Theron was raised by master zho) when they tell Vette they're going to be dads. And she's fucking astounded.

[sampsonbloor]

Only the little scribe Missandei seemed to share the queen’s misgivings.

Only the little scribe Missandei seemed to share the queen’s misgivings.. Her coming is the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy. From smoke and salt was she born to make the world anew. They were closely united by love and years of habit. The hull was creaking, the deck moving, and Pretty was squealing in distress. Penny crawled across the cabin floor on her hands and knees, wrapped her arms around the sow’s head, and murmured reassurance to her. Nikolay Sergeyitch was delighted. The prince’s successes, the news of his advancement, his promotion,

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were as dear to his heart as if they had been those of his own brother. But his delight reached a climax when the prince on one occasion showed the extraordinary trust he put in him. The lady said it was supposed it had been set

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on fire. “What could be any one’s motive for setting it on fire?” said the writer.. And how he praised you! I told you so . Even Dagon could not do that.” Almost a hundred years had passed since Dagon Greyjoy sat the Seastone Chair, but the ironborn still told tales of his raids and battles. 8. The old statute of 1741 had some features still more edifying. And I’d scarcely thought it when I looked round and off she’d gone, yesterday. You heard how I beat her for it riduzione dvi hdmi amazon yesterday, good friends. He was quite thin with anxiety; he sat by Nellie’s bedside for days and calça kickboxingeven nights together. So late.”. Have you grown tired of my hospitality so soon?” That was when Kyra seized a stone and threw it at his head. It missed by a good foot, and Ramsay smiled. In the fall of the year, the plantation hands, both men and women, work all the time above their knees in water in the rice-ditches, pulling out the grass, to fit the ground for sowing the rice. And just as I was, without my hat, I ran after the old man, I wanted to escort him to the gate, and to say at least a few words to comfort him. As I ran down the staircase I was haunted by Nellie’s face, which had turned terribly white at my reproaches... In his treatment of his slaves, he errs on the side of lenity, rather than vigor; and is always their kind protector, from a natural impulse of goodness, without much reflection upon what may befall them when death or misfortune shall deprive them of his friendship.. What happened to her wasn’t.” In some versions of the song, her ghost still walked the Nightfort. “I’ll send the girls to Long Barrow.” The only men there were Iron Emmett and Dolorous Edd, both of whom he trusted. This was going to be a hellishly uncomfortable night. The first of many, I do not doubt.. The small, sure-footed garrons of the hill clans were faring better, the scouts said,

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but the clansmen dared not press too far ahead or the whole host would come apart. I feel frightened at what you say. And yet you’re here. Delivered to me by the storms.”. Hear the apostle enumerate them: “By pureness, by knowledge, by long-suffering, by the Holy Ghost, by love unfeigned, by the armor of righteousness on the right hand and on the left.”. They hung upon the walls, before her and behind her, high and low,

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everywhere she looked, everywhere she turned. She saw old faces and young faces, pale faces and dark faces, smooth faces and wrinkled faces, freckled faces and scarred faces, handsome faces and homely faces, men duci alkalmi ruha and women, boys and girls, even babes, smiling faces, frowning faces, faces full of greed and rage and lust, bald faces and faces bristling with hair. His brow was dotted with beads of sweat, his pig’s eyes shining above his fat cheeks. Ser Barristan took two of his new-made knights with him down into the dungeons. Grief and guilt had been known to drive good men into madness, and Archibald Yronwood and Gerris Drinkwater had both played roles in their friend’s demise. From time catalog cercei aur turciato time some wench escapes and lives to tell the tale. Here I was wondering what to do, and he has sent me foes to fight.” Asha got to her feet and slammed her knife back into its sheath. “The battle’s come to us.”. He stood by that pier-glass and leaned his elbow against it. And Joubert screamed at him in her own way,

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that the pier-glass cost seven hundred francs (that is four hundred roubles), and that he’d break it! He grinned and looked at me. And I was sitting on a sofa opposite, and a beauty beside me, not a mug like this one here, but a stunner, that’s the only word for it. I shall tell Anna Andreyevna what a state you’re in. Here fresh oysters could be bought, here iron chains and manacles, here cyvasse pieces carved of ivory and jade. Here were temples too, where sailors came to sacrifice to foreign gods, cheek by jowl with pillow houses where women called down from balconies to men below. Most of the 7.8 million vehicles are subject to existing recalls. But manufacturers have limited the recalls to high humidity areas, excluding cars and trucks in states to the north. Virgin Islands, Hawaii and "limited areas near the Gulf of Mexico in Texas, Alabama, Mississippi, Georgia, and Louisiana" should pay

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special attention to the warning.. I offer it to you as a sign of my good faith.” He gestured at the chair again. “Sit, and say what you came to say. An old man in gold spectacles came up and heard me ask for the silver rouble. The Freys, assembling for battle. Theon could feel an itching in his missing fingers.. But many of them are doing just what the hardest-hearted tyrants of the South most desire.

[mageejoseph]

In preparing this work, it has grown much beyond the author’s original design.

In preparing this work, it has grown much beyond the author’s original design. It has so far overrun its limits that she has been obliged to omit one whole department;—that of the characteristics and developments of the colored race in various countries and circumstances. Let us not be thought invidious or uncharitable in saying, that where slavery exists there are so many causes necessarily uniting to corrupt public sentiment with regard to the slave, that the best-constituted minds cannot trust themselves in it. This is anecdotal, so I place minimal emphasis on this, but for a fashion company these questions need to be asked. When I look to analyze a company such as Game Stop or Electronic Arts, I talk to gamers. When I started my research on Coach, I spoke with women who have Coach bags, those who still want Coach bags, and some who don't have Coach bags.

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“I could cover you with weeping sores,” the waif said, “but then innkeeps and taverners would chase you from their doors.” Instead she gave her pox scars and a mummer’s mole on one cheek with a dark hair growing from it. “Is it ugly?” the blind girl asked.. Infidels point to it with triumph; and America, too, is beholding another class of infidels,—a class that could have grown up only under such an influence. “There are so many books at the Citadel that no man can calça kickboxing hope to read them all. Though even now Nellie held out for a long time; for a long time she intentionally concealed from us her tears of reconciliation, and only at last surrendered completely. She grew very fond of Natasha, and later on of Nikolay Sergeyitch. "We couldn't be happier to give Darren O'Rafferty rag wreath diya wildcard into this prestigious event," said Windon. "Since leaving the World Championship Tour, Darren has been a prominent force across a wide range of state and national title events both in longboard and shortboard and remains one of the most naturally gifted surfers on the NSW Mid North Coast. We can't think of anyone more deserving of this accolade.". He almost retched it right back up. The second tasted better. Jon

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had tried to dismiss them as his fever talking. “So I’ll go in with you, I’ll take you in and they’ll receive you, make much of you and begin to question you. Then I’ll turn the

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conversation so that they will question you about your past life; about your mother and your grandfather. Tell them, Nellie, everything, just as you told it to me. “It is chivalry that makes a true knight, not a sword,” he said. “Without honor, a knight is no more than a common killer. A tall stork of a girl with a pockmarked face escorted him into the royal presence. “She has no handmaids, poor thing,” he had said to Theon. “That leaves you, Reek. Each one had a face carved into it, and no two faces were alike. The girls were roused about eleven o’clock at night, after they had fallen asleep, and told to get up directly, and prepare for going home. They had learned that the word of a slave-holder is not to be trusted, and feared they were going to be sent to Richmond, Virginia, as there had been talk

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of it. “N-no. Now he was a man, now a wolf, now a man again. But the skulls were here as well, the skulls were all around him. I WENT straight to Alyosha’s. Above, Ulmer of the Kingswood had the Wall. Two score of duci alkalmi ruha Castle Black’s best bowmen stood with him, ready to respond to any trouble down below with a rain of arrows.. “No, sir, I am not unhappy. Ser Barristan might come seeking her; he was the first of her Queensguard, sworn to defend her life with his own. By the statute of 1740, any white man may apprehend and moderately correct any slave who may be found out of the plantation at which he is employed, and if the slave assaults the white person, he may be killed; but a slave who is catalog cercei aur turciamerely flying away cannot be killed. Nor can the defendants be justified by common law, IF we consider the negro as a person; for they were not clothed with the authority of the law to apprehend him as a felon, and without such authority he could not be killed.. In the one [case], the end in view is the happiness of the youth, born to equal rights with that governor, on whom the

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duty devolves of training the young to usefulness, in a station which he is afterwards to assume among freemen. * * * * With slavery it is far otherwise. “Your little one is with the gods now,” the woods witch told his mother, as she wept. Soon enough the sun would rise, and four thousand wildlings would come pouring through the Wall. Madness. A small, malicious, treacherous man, as stupid as he is cruel. Greed is the name of the game, and if they can sucker someone into buying a new purse, they are incouraged to continue this practice. zattini promoção de botas You can find 40% off mdse. That I wear less than 10 times per yr.. A bag with decent number of pockets, which does not fail to keep the many things like cash, iPad and others organized. Hunting for a comb in a huge bag crowded with things is a strict NO NO. Choose a color which flaunts your personality. Dickey’s account of the finale is thus:. “Stannis and his knights have left Deepwood Motte, flying the banner of his new red god. The clans of the northern hills come with him on their shaggy runtish horses. He wondered if they had blundered into a nest of milk snakes or giant grave worms, soft and pale and squishy. Grave worms have teeth.. After the riders came the men of the Frozen Shore.