#my tablet broke and im waiting to get a new ine

[remmicreates-mlb]

Redrew/finished this older Ninoir drawing in my current style, since i wasnt too much liking the old one anymore. Not sure how i feel ab this one either, but i do feel like ive improved in some aspects!

[sebspocketsquare]

Quarantine: 4

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (online)

A/N: Heya guys! Here’s part 4! Its extra long like i promised. Let me know what you think! part 5 is in the works :) -T

Warnings: Flirting, language, quarantine, fear, crying, feels, mentions of a breakin

It’s pouring rain.

You’re in shock.

Frozen in place.

You’re not even sure what to think as you stare at your front door.

You’d locked it, right? You’d remembered to do that?

Searching your memories, you find that yes, you did lock it… which could only mean one thing.

Mind racing, the bags you’d toted home from the grocery store fall from your grasp to the cold concrete below, and you don’t even flinch at the sound that was surely your eggs cracking.

“But..” The word comes out as more of a breath, and that’s when you notice that tears are already stinging the ridges of your eyes.

It takes another few minutes of ragged breathing before you come to your senses and shakily fish your phone out of your pocket, dialing 911.

They answer on the second ring, and the dispatch operator sounds as stressed as you feel.

“911, what’s your emergency?”

You suddenly find yourself questioning if this really is an emergency, but right yourself almost immediately. Someone just broke into your apartment. A stranger. A criminal.

Yes, it was an emergency.

“I, um.. I just got home from the store, and my-my apartment door is open, I.. I think someone broke in while i was gone.”

You hear her typing before she responds to you, “Okay ma’am, I’m going to ask you not to enter the residence and stay away from the front door in case someone is still inside. Can you give me your address? I’ll have an officer with you in less than ten minutes.”

You exchange the information she needs with a trembling voice, and she asks if you’d like to stay on the line with her until the authorities arrive.

You’ve never agreed to anything so fast. Even if you didn’t speak, at least she’d be there if something else were to happen.

She tells you that there have been five other break ins in your area in the last two weeks, and that she’s sorry it’s happening to you, too.

You’re too numb to murmur anything other than a “thank you.”

It takes approximately 8 minutes for a patrol car to arrive with two officers inside.

They have you wait outside as they enter your apartment, and the next fifteen minutes of their searching seems as if it goes on forever.

As you’re waiting, your phone chirps.

A new IM from J.

[Sarge:] Getting worried over here, doll.. You home safe and sound yet?

Just reading the message has more tears welling in your eyes.

[clairv0yant:] Not exactly…

The moment you press send, both of the officers come out onto your porch with looks that can only be described as sympathy.

“Miss? We’d like you to come inside, please.. The coast is clear, but we need you to file a full report on what’s been taken.”

His words open a gaping hole in your stomach and you suddenly feel nauseated.

What’s been taken?

You don’t notice how your phone vibrates repeatedly in your pocket, desperate messages trying to reach you.

It takes 45 minutes to file the report with the police, to account for everything that’s missing.

They took the tower to your computer, the screen, the mouse and the keyboard. Your TV is missing, along with the bottles of vodka you’d kept in your freezer. The jar that contained your ‘vacation’ savings had been taken from your bedroom, along with your tablet and phone charger. They’d even gone as far as to steal the two packs of toilet paper and cleaners from under your bathroom sink. They broke every dish in your cupboard, glass was scattered on every bit of your floor, but they managed to completely overlook the small stash of twenties you kept in your underwear drawer.

The officers reiterate what the dispatch lady had told you: you weren’t the only one this had happened to recently, and they were sorry this had happened to you. They’d check in on you for the next couple days, and let you know if they find the people responsible.

There wasn’t much more that could be done.

Once they leave you lock the door, though that doesn’t make you feel safe anymore. 

That hadn’t been enough before, what would stop them from doing it again?

You lean your back against it, before letting out a sob and falling to the floor.

Your fingers tangle in the roots of your hair and you tug in frustration as you cry. 

Why you? Why now?

You weren’t working, the little bit of savings you did have had to be used to pay bills and buy groceries. You had no idea when you’d be allowed back to your job, and you had no one to rely on to help you.

What were you supposed to do now?

Your phone chirps from your pocket again, and when you bring it to eye level, you notice you have 18 missed messages.

[Sarge:] What do you mean?

[Sarge:] Doll, please answer me.

[Sarge:] Clair, you’re scaring me…

[Sarge:] At least let me know you’re okay.

[Sarge:] Clair, please?

[Sarge:] Say something, anything..

[Sarge:] Fuck..

[Sarge:] I’m such an idiot for letting you go out without getting your phone number or address

[Sarge:] Please let me know you’re fine

[Sarge:] Tell me I’m overreacting

[Sarge:] Clair..?

[Sarge:] I’m freaking out over here

[Sarge:] Baby, you’re scaring me..

[Sarge:] Answer me

[Sarge:] I’m begging you

[Sarge:] Just send me a fucking smiley face, anything

[Sarge:] just let me know you’re alive

[Sarge:] Just.. call me, please..

The last message included a phone number.

Your thumb hovers over the assortment of digits as you take in a shuddering breath. You didn’t want to call and have him hear you like this. You’d always imagined the first time you spoke on the phone would be full of awkward giggles and flirty compliments given back and forth.

Not you on the verge of breaking.

Your thumb finally presses the numbers, and as if to question your choices, a message pops up on your screen: ‘Calling.. Are you sure you want to do this?’

You hit yes without a second thought.

The line rings once before the person at the other end answers.

“Clair?”

You’re too emotionally devastated to appreciate the timbre of his voice, the concern laced in the first word you’ve ever physically heard him say.

“Please, say something..”

He’s begging at this point, and there’s a quake in his words that weighs down your already heavy heart.

“I-It’s me.” 

The whisper has him letting out a sigh of relief before he speaks again.

“What’s going on? Talk to me.”

That’s when you break.

You tell him everything through hiccups and sobs.

When you’ve finished with your story, he releases another sigh before speaking again.

“Baby, you gotta breathe. I know it’s hard, but take a couple deep breaths for me okay? Can you do that?”

You follow his instruction, taking a few deep breaths in, and releasing them just as slow.

“There you go.. I’m gonna take care of this, okay? I’m gonna take care of you. Don’t worry about a thing.”

You’re so entranced in your breathing that you almost agree to his words blindly. Luckily, you catch yourself.

“What.. What do you mean, J?”

“Let me help you, Clair, I.. please.”

You sit in silence for a moment or two before he speaks again.

“I know you well enough by this point to know you’re too stubborn to let me send you money, but.. Let me replace your things. Let me send you some groceries. Let me pay for a goddamn security system… Please.”

You knew he was kind. That was one of the first things he’d let you see of himself.. But this? This was different. Nobody just offers to do this for someone they haven’t even met.

“J, I.. I can’t.. That’s too much.. You don’t even know me..”

He sighs yet again, but you can tell this one is out of frustration. 

“Clair, please. I am literally begging you to let me help you, I.. I’m doing this because I care about you..”

Contemplating in silence, your eyes begin to water again. 

What choice did you have?

You didn’t have the money to replace your things.

You’d barely have enough to replace the groceries you’d just ruined in the rain, and you certainly couldn’t afford a security system.

“J, I.. I can’t pay you back..”

“That is literally the least of my worries. I just want you safe. Please. I can have someone at your place tomorrow morning to install the system. The replacement for your computer might take a little longer, but I’ll get it to you as soon as i can, just.. Let me do this. I want to.”

Before you know what’s happened, you hear yourself agreeing to his wishes and giving him your address.

“You live in the city?” There’s surprise in his voice that you don’t miss.

“You’re closer than I expected..”

Before you can ask him what he means, he’s speaking again.

“I have a friend, I’ll text him now and see the earliest he can come by tomorrow, okay? You can trust him, he’s a good guy. Do you have a spare phone charger for the night?”

You inform him of the one you always carry in your purse and that seems to ease the tension in his voice.

“Clair?”

“Yeah, J..?”

“I’m sorry this is how our first phone conversation had to go, I.. I pictured it differently in my head..”

You let out a sad laugh, “I know what you mean.. I’m sorry too.”

“But..” another sigh, “I’m not sorry I finally got to hear your voice.”

“I’m not sorry either..”

 You swear you hear him lick his lips, just before he speaks again, “Doll, my friend is calling me.. can I call you back?”

You take a look at the mess around your apartment before thinking that it might actually be for the best if you get off the phone.

“I should probably get off here and clean up all this glass anyway..”

He hums softly, “Call me when you’ve finished? I.. I just wanna know you’re safe.”

It was endearing how worried he was about you.

You also knew it was with good reason.

“Of course. I’ll call you back in a little bit. Bye, J.. and.. thank you.”

“Anything for you, Doll.. I’ll talk to you soon.”

HIM

The moment she ends the call, I slam my fist down on my desk. She was so close, so fucking close, and yet so far.

I couldn’t just show up, hold her and comfort her and protect her. It was too soon for that, plus with the required social distancing.. I don’t even think she’d trust me. 

Sam’s voice breaks my train of thought.

“What’s up man, I just got your text?” 

He’s standing in the doorway of my bedroom, still dressed in his sweats from the day before. 

I scoff at the sight, “One, you need to shower and change, dude. Two… I need you to do me a favor..”

He snickers and smirks, “This have anything to do with this girl you’ve been texting? Need me to track down some selfies for you to stare at?”

Had it been any other night, I might’ve entertained the idea of that, but instead I let out a quiet groan, “No, I… her apartment got ransacked today.. I need you to go over and install a security system for her.”

The smile falls from his face and his eyebrows raise. “Wait, what? She lives close? Why don’t you go?”

I shake my head, eyes falling to my left hand. The vibranium appendage almost glitters under the light of my computer screen, and when he follows my gaze he understands. “She doesn’t know yet.. who you are.”

I shake my head, and it’s his turn to sigh. “Yeah, man.. I can do that for you. Is she.. is she okay?”

I shrug, staring at my phone screen and willing her to call me back, “I.. I have no idea, man.. hearing her cry just now..” I have to pause and clear the emotion from my throat. 

“This quarantine is killing me.. all I wanted to do was go to her, hold her, and I—“ I pause again, cheeks flooding with warmth as I realize how vulnerable I just sounded.

“You’ve got it bad, don’t you?” He wonders, cocking his head to the side with a small smile.

The heat in my cheeks burns hotter as I nod slightly. 

“Just give me the address. I’ll make sure she’s got a system as good as ours.”

Just hearing him say that puts me at ease. I’d know her comings and goings, where she was in the apartment and if anyone was even close to entering. 

Stalkerish? Maybe a little, but.. 

If I couldn’t be there in person to protect her, this would be the next best thing.

HER

Aside from the missing appliances, you can barely tell what took place in your apartment today.

You’d swept every room, scrubbed every surface.

It might even be the cleanest the apartment had been since you moved in. 

J texted you earlier, asking for a list of your missing belongings and an idea for groceries.. you were a bit reluctant at first, but eventually gave in and handed over the information. 

You pushed your couch behind your front door out of paranoia before taking a shower, and now you sat on the edge of your bed in silence. 

It was hard not to let your mind wander to a dark place, to think of what you must’ve done to deserve this. 

Tears are starting to return to your eyes, just as your phone begins to ring again.

It’s J, of course.

“Hello?”

“Hey, doll.. how are you feeling?”

You’re calmed down enough to appreciate his voice now. The slight drawl to it, the sound of your nickname leaving his lips. It’s deep and warm and, god, you just wanted to wrap yourself in it and stay there forever.

“I.. I’m okay I guess.. it’s weird, y’know?”

“I’m sure.. I’m sorry you had to go through this.. I wish..” He pauses and you find yourself rather curious as to what he was going to say.

“You wish what, J?”

He hums before he finishes his thought, “I wish I could hold you, Clair.. Make you feel safe. Protect you.”

He’s making you blush, and it’s different than all the other times he’s done so through text. 

Actually hearing him say it brought it to a whole other level.

“Would that be alright?”

You can tell he’s second guessing his confession, and his timid behavior makes you smile.

“I would love that.. If only that was allowed right now..”

This quarantine was really messing things up for you. In more ways than one.

“I’d break the law for you, just say the word.”

You laugh at the thought, but you know he’s at least a little serious. 

“Have you um.. ever really thought about it?”

He hums again, and you find you’re addicted to the sound. “It’s embarrassing how much I’ve thought about it.. how about you, sweetheart? You ever think about me holdin’ you?”

The heat is back in your cheeks and you bite your lip to hold back the grin that’s taken over your entire face. “I.. yes. I have. I’m thinking about it right now, actually..”

Laying back on your bed, you pull a spare pillow to your chest and hug it tightly.

“What are you doin’ over there? Laying in bed? Do me a favor…”

It’s your turn to hum, and he chuckles.

“You got any extra pillows? Hug one of ‘em close, and close your eyes.. Just imagine it’s me, holding you to my chest… if you concentrate hard enough, maybe you can hear my heartbeat.. I’m sure it’d be goin’ crazy from being so close to you..”

You do as he asks, sighing happily into the phone. “Mine would be too.. it already is.”

You hear soft rustling from his end of the call, and you’re sure he’s settling in for the night too.

“Just wanna hold you.. kiss your forehead, ‘cause I remember you saying how much you like that.. Tell you how special you are to me..”

He’s making your heart beat wildly in your ribcage, and for some reason, tears trickle from the corner of your eye.

“You okay over there, baby?”

His new name for you was quickly becoming a new favorite.

“Yeah, it’s just.. you’re too good to me, you know that?”

“I’m the perfect amount of good to you, doll.. you deserve the whole world, and I’ll do my best to give that to ya.”

He’s making you forget the events of the day with each moment that passes, replacing them with sweet memories instead.

“J.. I adore you.”

“Not as much as I adore you, Clair.”

That night, you’re lulled to sleep by the sound of his breathing.

TAGS: (I wasnt sure who to tag, so if you dont want to be, I’m sorry!! Just trying to get this out there. ALSO if you wanna be tagged INBOX ME! I tend to miss people in the tags :( also some tags don’t work, so i’ve removed them if they dont. Sorry about that!  ).  

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