#my stress levels are unbearable

[mysfitalyss]

.

[nerdie-faerie]

People will be like 'oh you go to uni, you must be smart!' mate, I've never met people with less common sense than uni students. Though what else would you expect when you stick a load of sleep deprived, overwhelmed, young adults together

[cannibalismyuri]

how has your day been so far sara ily my goat

nonie babe im so sorry for leaving u on read for three weeks i wanted to answer this in a funny way but i am hopital 👍

[the-acid-pear]

Insanity moodboard

[undistortedworld]

applied for a while ONE JOB and now im like god i need to lie harrowed in bed for the next few hours

[fangparade]

my mom was at a market and saw dnd books and thought of me so she called me and then she asked how i was and i burst into tears

[chradi]

They should invent a job that doesn’t make you want to

…

drink that potion in Alice that makes you real small and then get lost in another world and get executed by a card-themed Queen

[ilovetoxicfictionalmen]

PUT A WIFE BACK IN HER PLACE

KINKTOBER DAY 25 - SPANKING WITH MARTIN

Pairing.| Martin x fem!reader

Summary.| When Martin’s attempt to win your heart back with a nostalgic trip on a secluded Scottish island fails, he has one last resort to remind you who’s wife you are.

Warnings.| Dubcon, dry humping, spanking, arguing, infidelity, implied breeding.

Word count.| 1.4k

Notes.| This ain't that good but yolo because Martin is hot.

In Martin’s defense, you couldn’t say that he didn’t put in his all to revive your marriage, it’s been on the rocks for months now, every opportunity for intimacy always resulted in bickering at the best outcome. The arguments were daggering to the heart, zero remorse on either of your ends at times. But Martin was devoted to you, you were his world, he needed you more than oxygen. 

His marvelous plan on resparking your attraction to one another seemed to be working like a blender unplugged from the power outlet. This will mark your third time vacating on the secluded Scottish island. You were quiet the whole boat ride, but it went unphased by Doug, he merely chatted on with Martin. Your husband would glance over at you every now and then, but you were in a different world. 

With every day passing, Martin lost a handful of hope. Nothing was working like it used to. The way you’d smile at him when he’d come back after fishing had vanished. The gratitude for the small things he did for you was no more. Your marriage was flatlining. The small talk felt unbearable, turned shoulders made him want to rip his hair out. He only wanted to look at you, hold you, feel you. When you hid yourself in the bathtub, Martin felt his stomach turn in a mixture of shame and pleasure. How could you shy away from your husband? But then when was the last time he had even seen you naked. 

He ran across the coastal shore, his expression was stern as he sprinted as fast as he could. His ears went blocked, heart pounded uncontrollably in his chest as the aches in his muscles grew. When he reached the top of the cliff, his hands formed into balls as he smacked the air. 

“Fuck!” Martin roared, a vein popped out in his forehead. 

Martin heaved out, his hands rested above his knees as he tried to catch his breath. After inhaling his asthma pump, his hands searched into his pocket for his phone. His fingers jabbed at the screen, then he scrolled to keep his motivation alive. He flicked through the countless screenshots of evidence, his grip tightened after each swipe. 

I want to be with you. 

I think of you every night. 

You’re in my dreams, I picture the day when we’re together. 

Now, Martin wasn’t sure of the details of your affair, only the little love messages George would send you, you’d always respond with something similar back, but your level of passion was lower, he was sure of it. 

I love you. 

He stared at that message for the longest, because it was sent by you the night before you two left. Why didn’t you love Martin anymore, your husband, the man you declared your vows to, the man you devoted your life for. In sickness and in health, you were his. 

Martin decided to walk back to the cottage, for the chaos would unfold that night. Every few steps, Marin would roughly rub his eyes. The smell of the seaside did little to ease his stresses, the wind was picking up, the scent of rain grew.

When he entered the cottage, you took a moment to even acknowledge him, your attention drawn to the book you were reading. You gave him a small smile, his jaw locked, he turned his heel and headed to the kitchen. Martin did try hard to remain calm, he poured himself a large glass of red wine, then another for you. As he handed the glass to you, he sucked on his lower lip. 

You thanked him, oblivious to his boiling anger. Impulsively, Martin took a large swig of the nectar and clinked it onto the table. His eyes burnt into you, but you ignored him completely, you were driving him mad. 

“So, does he fuck you good?” Martin abruptly asked. 

You choked on your wine, your eyes darted up at him as you analyzed him, surely he couldn’t know? It was as if you were a deer caught in headlights, Martin could swear he could hear your heartbeat race. You were waiting for the punchline, but eventually realized it wasn’t coming. 

“What are you going on about?” you replied, trying to remain cool as if you weren’t a kettle boiling on the hot stove. 

“Does George fuck you good?” Martin clarified, huffing out in anger, his name tasted like venom on his tongue. 

“Martin” you warned. 

“I should have figured it out sooner, I always knew he had the hots for you, but I didn’t realize you were such a little whore” Martin insulted. 

George worked with you, and yes, he did always have the hots for you. Despite your constant rejection, he kept on making sly advances on you. Until one day, when you were fed with your sickening feuds with Martin, that you just gave in to George’s affection. 

In a childish manner, you abruptly stood up and turned your direction to the hallway. Martin followed you just as quickly and you flinched, he looked unhinged. 

“Step back Martin!” you demanded as you hurried to the hallway. 

“Where are you going to go! It’s just you and I honey, a husband and his wife” Martin teased harshly as he followed after you. 

When you didn’t stop, he yanked you back by the shoulder and shoved you against the wall. You cried out as he pressed his body up against yours, his face drew close to yours. 

“You think I’m not manly enough for you? Aye!” Martin shouted by your ear, you winced at his behavior. 

“No Martin!” you cried. 

Martin’s eyes squinted together as he felt the tears forming. His hand smacked on the wall besides your head in anger, you shrieked out. 

“Why don’t you fucking love me anymore” Martin snarled, his face twitched. 

There was no response from you. His hands gripped onto your curves and you gasped out as you felt his erection grow against you. His stubble brushed over your heating cheek, you shuddered out. Quickly, he flipped your front onto the wall, you gasped out and swallowed down the ball of spit in your throat.

“You’re my fucking wife, you’ll stay with me” Martin determined with a nod. 

“O-okay, just calm down” you shuddered. “Martin!” you yelped out as he yanked your comfy pants down to your thighs. 

“Shut it, just giving you what you deserve” Martin responded harshly and he forcefully pressed your face on the wall. 

You choked on your sob as he smacked your rear harshly. His hand pressed against your shoulder blade, you were confined against the plastered wall as he spanked your cheeks. Never has your husband been so rough with you, he was always gentle, kind and thoughtful. Martin would mutter curse words under his breath as he felt his cock twitch in his athlete shorts. The sounds of his slaps echoed throughout the walls, you bit back your moans, your eyes almost rolling back as you unknowingly squeezed your thighs together to create friction. 

“I love you” Martin confessed, his lips pressed to your ear as he continued to bring his palm to your flaming skin. 

“I know you do, Martin” you panted out, your breathing rugged, hips shifting. 

“I’d do anything for you” Martin grunted as he hit you with full force.

“I know you would!” you whined. 

His blue eyes could see how your body was reacting, how horny you were becoming. Martin heaved out, his body molded against yours as he rubbed his erection over your stinging cheeks. Your knees felt weak, his body weight was holding you up. Desperately, his humps humped against your ass, Martin could hardly control his desires. 

“You want a baby?” Martin whispered, almost romantically. 

“W-what?” you whimpered out. 

“Do you want a baby, my darling? I’ll put one in you right now if it’d fix everything” Martin explained, his hands rubbing your hips. 

You stammered out as you tried to think logically. A baby was all that you wanted, for so long. But Martin just always put his job first and shooed away the possibilities of creating a family together. You hated him for it. But now he wants to change?

“Come on, how many arguments did we have over it? How badly does it make you despise me?” Martin continued on, his head rubbed against yours. 

You mumbled out, you tried to think of George, of your plans. But he seemed to be disappearing from your mind. Martin’s hands caressed over your stomach, you moaned out gently and turned around to your husband, your lips neared his.

[crystalandbow]

WHAT LESSON ARE YOU CURRENTLY LEARNING 👀🩰

-pac edition (3 piles)

For entertainment purposes only

PILE 1

I hope you are having a great day🎀

let us dissect & discuss the image you have chosen (swans)

no cards today😭 *experimental reading*

firstly, what you are learning rn is related to trust, bondings and friendships (for few it could be about trusting your family members)

it isn't about romantic love (so far, even though the image can relate to love, but i am not picking up anything like that so far)

for those that felt called towards the 3rd pile as well, it talks about self love , appreciating one's own efforts, taking care and being gentle with your own soul.

i'm also getting the word "pause", like time has paused / everything is going slow and you are just wondering whats happening, observing everything around you for answers. things might be going slow and easy, for some they find peace here.

im also getting the image of the hermit which shows: being alone, and on hilly mountainous regions) things are cold ? meaning no progress, like i said above things & progress are slow which some people are okay with since yall understand that things take time (you have understood this lesson and are now getting tested, once you pass this you'll be upgraded to the next level soon);

while for some it's stressful, unbearable, you wanna get out of this slowness and being by yourself. but that is your lesson and you need to get okay/comfortable with this feeling of being out of your comfort zone, you need to understand that you'll be okay and getting out of your shell will not always be that painful/ hurt you.

should i do more of these?

that is it for you guys! please do lmk what you think about this reading for private readings : click here! my tipping jar : click here!

PILE 2

I hope you are having a great day🎀

let us dissect & discuss the image you have chosen (the rose painting)

no cards today😭 *experimental reading*

love, straight up!

if you

so the women holding the rose is wearing the color white which symbolises purity, innocence, i m hearing the word "childlike" while being drawn towards the sun card in the tarot deck, and even pinterest lol. well the white dress + the sun card, could show how your inner child/ childhood dream is close to coming true (but that isnt really a lesson so). the sun card is alot about success for you in this story. so even success and bright/ joy in your love life. as a lesson it talk about comforting that inner child, providing it that love and care as it has been hurt from outsiders, you have been upset/sad, might even think that your love life is very bad, almost as if you have been cursed to stay away from loyalty and love but that isn't the case for MOST. it is because your inner child is so very wounded, it is sacred to interact with others because it thinks they'll hurt them and obv it will think so because honey be honest! what mental diet do you have? do you care about your inner child? do you show love to yourself? your inner child is wounded and your lesson is to show care for it, treat it like your own lil baby, take care of yourself. for yourself. otherwise even the right ones won't stay long.

have a positive diet of purity and celebrate the innocence within you, be easy! if you wonder why your life had to suffer just know that the suns shines bright because it burns like that. only when yiu go through the pain can you appreciate the love and light is my philosophy for overcoming any dark night of the soul.

have fun with your inner child, play with it & make it feel at ease so that it helps you attract better opportunities.

TAKE CARE AND BYEEE

that is it you guys! please do lmk what you think about this reading for private readings : click here! my tipping jar : click here!

should i do more of these? lmk

PILE 3

I hope you are having a great day🎀

let us dissect & discuss the image you have chosen (lipgloss)

no cards today😭 *experimental reading*

the lipgloss pile😄i was sooo excited for this specific pile. i wanna know what it is for you!

anyways lets begin

well firstly, life could be all over the place, in a mess or in chaos, im getting new york city vibes aswell, showing how life cools so cool on the outside (to other people) but in reality it is also in some mess. its fast paced and chaotic (THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF PILE 1)

your life might be all over the place and in chaos, so much that you don't know what you should focus on, you want to do everything, you are trying your hands everywhere in all fields and everywhere hoping something might work out?

this pile is all about having too much in your plate and the problem is that it isn't organised. you need to be organised, its not bad but you aren't able to focus on anything which could be creating more & more problems. im getting attention deficiency. you need to learn how to not procrastinate & to remove distractions from your life. to be more organised and to know what is good / healthy for you.

for some y'all could be a lil worried about money and want a sign/guidance about it, maybe like a conformation of whether or not you are on the right track

your lesson is to set prioritise and work on them, be focused on them and now that doing a specific task will take you closer to achieving that goal/priorities & what will take you away from your goals/ priorities.

set goals & work TOWARDS them & get out of a mess, get organised is your lesson

should i do more of these?

that is it for you guys! please do lmk what you think about this reading for private readings : click here! my tipping jar : click here!

[callme-holly]

Hi! Wow, do I like your writing. It's really creative and honestly makes me so happy. I was wondering if I could request like what a sleepy morning with Dallas would look like? I just feel like he'd be super clingy when he's half awake, you know?

Anyways! Love your writing and keep doing you🤩

𝐒𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐲 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 [𝐝𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫]

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 - so sorry that this took me so long to get back to - I've been swamped with revision lately and stress levels have been high. I will try my best to get round to all the requests in my inbox but updates might be a little slow. As always my asks are still open for requests!! 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 - 1.2k words 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 - none

The room is surprisingly cool despite the fact that it is mid-summer; the temperature is already hovering on the borderline of unbearable as the sun slowly creeps up into view over the horizon.

At some point in the night, the thin sheet that Dallas keeps draped over your bodies has been lost, sitting in a crumpled heap on the hardwood floor below, forgotten and discarded, leaving you both exposed to the harsh rays of light seeping in through the window. 

Dallas is lying on his side, curled towards you, one arm slung loosely around your waist in a protective gesture, his body radiating warmth against yours. His hair falls in light wisps, framing his face, and for once he looks peaceful, that wall he always puts between himself and everyone else falling away in sleep. It's a rare sight, indeed, to see his face wiped completely of that cocky smirk or that guarded expression that usually marres his features, but a welcome one nonetheless. 

Shifting slightly, you push yourself up onto your elbows, stretching out your limbs and groaning quietly in protest. A grunt sounds from beside you, Dallas muttering something unintelligible as he shifts closer to where you are, wrapping both arms around your torso in an attempt to pull you back down next to him, though without success. 

He seems oblivious to the time, seemingly not caring whether or not you’re late to your job, and you can’t help but run your fingers through his hair, your nails scratching gently at his scalp, in an attempt to rouse him but only earning another discontented noise response. 

“Dal,” you mumble, pressing a quick kiss to the top of his head. “I gotta get up.” But it seems that your attempts fall on deaf ears, and Dallas only pulls you closer to him, burying his face further into the crook of your neck, still refusing to budge. His lips press firmly against the bare skin of your collarbone, pecking repeatedly at the skin. 

“You ain’t goin’ nowhere today, doll,” he mumbles, his voice deep and muffled. “It’s too early.” He continues peppering kisses around your neck, his hand sliding lower, fingers teasing the hem of your shorts, and fingertips lightly dancing across your stomach.

You realise there's no point in arguing with him. He's far too stubborn for his own good, and once he’s got his mind set on something, you best believe he’s doing it. And right now, he’s decided that what he wants is you all to himself, and you aren’t going anywhere until he lets you go.

Your resolve wavers slightly when you feel his teeth graze against the skin of your throat, and a small involuntary shiver runs down your spine as a result. 

“Dallas,” you try again, pushing at the arm wrapped around your waist in a weak attempt to pry him away, resulting only in him tightening his grip on you further. 

“It’s only eight thirty,” he says, still not moving an inch from his position, his breath hot against your skin. “Your shift doesn’t start ‘til nine.” 

You let out an exasperated sigh, kissing your teeth and trying yet again to pry his arms loose, determined to still be out the door on time. “I still have to get ready. If I’m late, I’ll be fired; you know that.”

He grunts again, looking entirely unamused as he raises his head slightly to glare at you. His eyes are still heavy, glazed over with sleep, and you can’t help but chuckle fondly at the sight. 

“Just call in sick,” He mumbles, his tone almost petulant. “What they don’t know won’t hurt them." And with that, he turns over, pulling you along with him despite your feeble protests, effectively pinning you underneath him. 

For a few moments, neither of you move, just lying silently together, staring out the window at the rising sun before it finally breaches over the horizon, bathing both of you in golden light. Dallas’ hair appears almost white in its hue, like a halo encircling his head. It’s funny, really, you think; he looks so angelic in that moment, but every soul who has ever laid eyes on him knows better. Dallas Winston is certainly no angel—far from it, in fact. He’s cold, tough, and mean—a guy who takes pride in his scars and imperfections. 

You can’t help but wonder how you ended up with someone like him—someone so roughed up and hardened by the world. But then he smiles, flashing you that stupid, crooked grin that drives you crazy, making the butterflies flutter wildly in the bottom of your stomach.

“Enjoyin’ the view, doll?” He asks, his words a lazy drawl that sends a chill down your spine despite your warm cocoon beneath his strong chest.

Your cheeks flush pink, the colour standing stark against your skin, and you roll your eyes, unable to keep the smile off of your face.

“It’s alright,” You reply nonchalantly, not willing to make the greaser's head any bigger than it already is, trying your best to starve off his rapidly growing ego. The blonde gives you a wolfish grin, eyebrows raising as if waiting for you to go on.

“Just alright?” He challenges you, leaning closer so that his lips are practically brushing against your ear, his breath causing goosebumps to break out across your exposed skin. 

“Mhmm... Just alright,” You hum, forcing yourself to meet his gaze evenly, trying your best to keep your voice steady. “Now let me go.” 

You struggle to pull yourself free, but he holds fast, his grin widening and his hands sliding slowly downward, palms skimming across your sides, before coming to rest on your hips, hands rough against your soft skin. “No can do, dollface.” He offers you a helpless shrug, and if it weren’t for the smug look written all across his features, you would almost believe that he is being entirely sincere. However, you also know that he is just as troublesome as he is charming, and that being sincere is something Dallas Winston hardly ever does. 

Still, your resistance wanes after he places gentle kisses along the column of your neck and shoulder, and you can't help but melt at his touch, closing your eyes as you lean into him, allowing your head to fall backwards and resting on his broad chest, feeling the rhythmic beat of his heart. 

“Just a couple more minutes,” he mumbles, his breath fanning across your skin as he trails open-mouthed kisses up your neck, nipping playfully at your throat and grinning wildly.

“Fine,” you concede. You don’t really want to get up yet anyway, not when you could just stay here with him. Sure, you’ve now only got roughly fifteen more minutes until you have to be leaving for work, but you can cross that bridge when you get there.

For now, you want to spend these last few fleeting moments wrapped up in the thin sheet Dallas keeps draped over the both of you, relishing in the hushed silence that hangs throughout the room, rare yet forever welcome, just like these soft moments. 

They’re rare, but oh so precious, and even though this isn’t exactly how you’d imagined spending your morning, you couldn't imagine having it any other way.

𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬!!

[chukeis]

Kei Tsukishima never meant to snap at Yn. He had just come home after a grueling day of balancing his commitments as a professional volleyball player, a museum employee, and a college student. The weight of his responsibilities hung heavily on his shoulders, and the stress had built up to an unbearable level. Yn was waiting for him, her eyes lighting up when he walked through the door. She had missed him, and her heart ached with the constant distance between them. She reached out, trying to hold him close, but Kei brushed her off, too exhausted to reciprocate. “Kei, can we talk?” Yn’s voice was soft, but there was a hint of desperation in her tone. “Not now, Yn. I’m tired,” Kei muttered, dropping his bag and heading towards the bedroom. “But we never talk anymore. You’re always busy, and I feel so alone.” Yn’s words were laced with sadness, and Kei felt a pang of guilt, but it quickly turned into irritation. “I’m busy for us, Yn! Do you think I want to be running around all the time? I’m doing this for our future,” he snapped, his voice harsher than he intended. Yn recoiled, hurt flashing in her eyes. “I just want to be with you, Kei. Is that too much to ask?” Kei’s temper flared. “You’re being so clingy! Can’t you see I have enough on my plate already?” Yn’s eyes welled up with tears. “I just… I miss you, Kei. I miss us.” The room grew silent, the air thick with tension. Yn’s words struck a chord within Kei, but his frustration blinded him. He took a step closer to her, his eyes hard. “You don’t understand what I’m going through, Yn. You’re making this harder than it needs to be.” Yn tried to hold back her tears, but they spilled over, her voice breaking. “I’m sorry for needing you, Kei.” In his anger, Kei reached out and grabbed her face, forcing her to look at him. The gesture was rough, uncharacteristic of him, and it shocked them both. Yn’s eyes widened in fear and pain, and Kei’s heart dropped. Realizing what he had done, Kei let go immediately, stepping back as if he had been burned. “Yn, I—” Yn held her cheek, tears streaming down her face. “Kei, you’re hurting me,” she whispered, her voice trembling. Kei's anger vanished in an instant, replaced by a wave of overwhelming guilt and regret. “I’m so sorry, Yn. I didn’t mean to… I’m so sorry.” But the damage was done. Yn took a shaky breath, her eyes filled with sorrow. “I need some time, Kei. I can’t do this right now.” She turned and walked away, leaving Kei standing there, feeling more alone than ever. The silence of the apartment was deafening, and Kei sank to the floor, his head in his hands. He had hurt the person he loved the most, and the weight of his actions crushed him. In the stillness, he realized that he needed to make things right. But he didn’t know if Yn would ever forgive him, or if they could find their way back to each other. All he knew was that he couldn’t bear to lose her, and he would do whatever it took to earn her forgiveness. As the night wore on, Kei sat alone, hoping that somehow, they could mend the rift between them and find their way back to the love they once shared.

[cmdrfupa]

Balance

“Life is a balance between holding out and letting go.” —Rumi

3rd installment of Upheaval

cw: all chapters and content warnings are listed in this post.

an: My chest burned while writing this chapter but I had a wonderful time creating domains that I really resonate with. I hope you enjoy it. Thank you for reading!

May 20th, 2020

1, 2, 3, 4, 5

The wind picked up as you cleared the second story of the school. Your decided approach of coming in from the ceiling was proving to be a fine one, fortunately. 

2, 2, 3, 4, 5

A cold gust blows through the cracks in the walls, sending a chill through the hall. The dampness of the air produced a clammy feeling on your skin. 

Heavy rain collided against the side of the building as the wind picked back up, creaking floors creating a more intense eeriness that filled the space. There is a sense of desolation, amplified by the cold weather and the vacant feel of the once-thriving primary school.

“Service is horrid out on the island. But I'll send confirmation once I'm heading back into the city.  And can someone tell Kento I know he's calling? We’ll talk when I'm back.” You stepped down to the middle of the stairs, Sliding your phone back into your pocket when your ears popped simultaneously. 

3, 2, 3, 4, 5

You activated ocean requiem, summoning a tight, shimmering barrier of water around you as a shield. This didn't feel like a grade 2 curse in the slightest and knowing Mei Mei…  caution was a necessity in this situation.

The air felt like it was being taken from your body in a snap as the gravitational pull increased, attempting to crush you under immense force. 

The walls crack, and debris falls,  the sheer panic thickens your water barrier in response to the stress. Your emotions—fear, determination, anger—fuel the cursed water. As you push forward, the water pressure increases, forcing the gravitational force to push harder.

“You can't breathe. You can’t move. Let it kill you.”

“What the fuck are you!! Where are you!!” 

A tentacle lashes out, stretching to pierce through the barrier. The immediate moment of contact and the curse violently reacted. You stepped forward, waving your hand counterclockwise, splashing back at the curse and sending it across the room with a thud. 

Your frustration grew with each heaving breath— you're fighting a special grade curse. An opponent beyond your usual limits. You couldn't even pick this up from your sweep. They were hiding, fluctuating their energy until you were within their reach. 

“You fucking pussy.” Emotions spiked, and your water barrier began to churn wildly. The abandoned corkboards flung to the floor as you approached your mark. “Hiding in the shadows until you could grab me?” eyes wild with rage-induced panic as the pressure inside the barrier is so intense that even touching it would cause immediate damage. Staking a chance to grab you again, a tentacle is pulled into the barrier’s vortex. The water wraps around it, dragging it deeper as if to drown it. “All over fucking Mei. That two-faced, bitch.” The dangerous parameters of overwhelming emotion caused the barrier to become unstable, allowing Arkugetsu to find a weak point. 

4, 2, 3, 4, 5

Regardless of your attempt to drown it, it retaliated with something that increased the gravitational force to near-unbearable levels. The floor beneath you both shatters and your barrier starts to buckle under the intensity. Arkugetsu looms larger, its body shifting and writhing as it prepares for what seems like a final attack and panic like no other sets in until you hear a familiar voice calling you. 

“Dove!” 

“Kento!“ 

The rushed sound of heavy footsteps approaches the wide-open basement floor as Kento goes in for a direct slash. 

You close your eyes, feeling the tentacle wrap around your torso with a vice-like grip but take the distraction as an opportunity to take a deep breath as you envision the tentacled beast. 

“Silence the World.” gently spilled from your lips and instantly the atmosphere is changed. 

The air grows thick with static-like energy, and suddenly, all sound vanishes. Arkugetsu’s screeching and rumbling of its gravity-induced destruction are silenced. The battlefield was swallowed by complete auditory stillness as if the world itself had gone mute. 

Dark, hazy mist rolled in, trapping You and Arkugetsu within. 

All is dark for Arkugetsu as it twirls around swinging its tentacles, the usual sound of air rushing past is absent, throwing off its sense of direction. Without sound or spatial awareness, the curse is unable to precisely aim its strikes as you take note of the silence surrounding the curse. 

An inaudible whisper flowed from your mouth as a silent, focused whirlwind of energy surrounded Arkugetsu’s body. 

“He doesn't love you. You're just... Comfortable for him. And he can find comfort anywhere.”

With precise control, you direct the whirlpool toward the curse, increasing the pressure on its massive form. The thickened cursed water presses down from all sides, trapping the curse in a suffocating vortex. It writhes, trying to break free, but the silence disorients it.

“If you die. He’ll move on pretty quickly. Mei Mei seems to have always had her eyes on him.”

5, 2, 3, 4, 5.

There. 

“Silence.” bellowed across the hazy plane, you stared down the curse, giving your final command in the soundless void. 

The whirlpool tightens around Arkugetsu, and your water barrier condenses into a seven-prong harpoon made entirely of cursed water. You launch it toward the curse’s core, focusing every ounce of energy on its demise. As the spear pierces through, the silence deepens. 

For a moment, the curse freezes in the water, its form warping and breaking apart under the immense pressure as you pull it back towards you as if you'd lassoed a bull.

Arkugetsu tries to let out a final roar, but in Eternity’s Silence, that sound is swallowed whole.

Falling to the ground with utter exhaustion coursing through your body, puffs of water vapor shakily leave you as your domain comes to an end. The silence fades and the sound of the heavy rain pouring brings you back to the ruined school. 

Cold. Hard to breathe. Stuck. 

“And when he’s done with you, you'll know.”

“Dove.” Kento rushed to your side, wrapping his jacket around your shoulders before he helped you to your feet. His attempt at looking in your eyes failed. 

“I'm sorry. She told me you could handle it and I-“ 

You saw Ijichi standing nearby, ignoring Kento to make your way towards the car.

  August 13, 2021 (Present Day)

  Saying you felt exposed would've been the understatement of the century. Your second couples therapy session started so calmly, promising. This felt like your diary being read in front of the class.

Ootaishi gave you a moment to gather your thoughts, pouring both you and Kento glasses of water as she asked her first question.

“You okay?” 

“Yea. I'm alright.” your voice was dry, uncomfortable from your memory. 

Kento looked over at you as he took in what he just witnessed. He'd never seen your domain, for obvious reasons. But to have seen it and heard what made you push through that fight. That's where you go when everything else is too much. 

“The counting. May I ask what that’s for?”

“It's a time signature.” 

“Any particular reason why you use time signatures to keep your anxiety at bay?”

There was a time you could answer this question and it made your heart skip a beat. Where you could start the story and let Kento tell the rest. 

“I suffer from panic attacks when I find myself in questionable situations. Kento noticed this back when we were just dating and of all things, numbers being absolute helped me reel myself in.” 

Kento looked down at the wing tips of his shoes as you stared off into the distance.

“When I told him I suck at math, he told me to use my favorite song or time signature to keep calm and keep me from overloading myself to avoid my barrier buckling.”

Ootaishi made a quick note as she listened intently. The room began to shift energy as you silently watched her pen scribble. “Mr. Nanami?"

“Yes?” He came back from his own passing thoughts, looking at the therapist who was now holding the talisman in her hand. A purple glow radiated from the stone as she ran her fingers over the grooves.

“Do you mind telling me who Mei Mei is? To you exactly.”

The talisman seemed to really enjoy the mention of her. It flickered a hue of silvery blue. 

Kento should be use to the bluntness of the words Ootaishi spoke but every syllable made him want to jump off the couch and throw the damn talisman into a pit.

“Mei Mei was an acquaintance of mine.”

“Was or is? Do you still keep in contact with her?”

You turned your torso towards Kento, not knowing the answer to this yourself.

“Yes.”

 Nose flared like a bull, you gulped to keep yourself from overreacting.

“What does she have to do with the incident on Ikijima Island that your spouse was sent to?”

“She was assigning missions that day as it was part of her role.”

The side eye you gave him was lethal. You could only laugh to keep the immense amount of energy from allowing you to combust. 

“She gave the assignment. She told me it was a grade 2 after a few locals reported some disturbances that aligned with recent incidents on nearby islands.” 

The antsy energy began to build and you couldn’t sit anymore. “But even those weren’t grade two. And you know who went to handle those? More than one person.” The room felt like it was only growing smaller as you leaned against the built-in bookshelf next to the door. 

This memory being the first time you felt the shift in your relationship wrangled up a slurry of emotions you didn’t expect. 

It was your first solo mission after Kento expressed discomfort with Yuuji and you being on the same mission. His alleged rationale was that he didn’t think you’d work well together but he didn’t have it in him to say the true reason then.

Ootaishi watched you with a close eye. The energy began to fluctuate in the room as her barrier hazed every time you stepped closer to the walls. Trying her best not to alarm you, she brought the talisman to her chest, prepared to curtain if the opportunity arose. 

“Do you feel she sent you there with ill intentions? Or simply miscalculated the situation at hand?”

Kento should’ve been smarter about his way of handling this conversation. He grew to see Mei Mei as someone more of an acquaintance who knew him at every pivotal moment of his life. Part of his past that kept him there. Where he was comfortable.

  Every suspicion you had since the moment you met her built up inside you like a volcano waiting to erupt. And Kento being honest about who she was to him could’ve saved you the trouble of feeling this way.  

“She didn’t know it would be that bad. I even ripped into her about the poor communication and lack of information. If she knew a special grade curse was in that school-“

“She would’ve sent me there just the same and had you out to dinner by her side before my body even began to go cold.” 

“Don’t. You don’t know Mei like that. That isn’t the kind of woman she is, dove.”

“Don’t dove me, Ken.” You stepped towards the couch. “When I’ve tried being cordial she is incredibly cold. And for fucks sake, she ran at Shibuya. Ran and made a profit while you almost lost your life. And you can take up for her?” 

“She had reasons and you can’t be upset-“

“Like hell, I can’t.” The pain in your voice made him Kento hurt. Your eyes were glossy fighting back tears. “Don’t tell me that when I had to watch you struggle to live in a fucking hospital. Don’t tell me shit.”

Silence fell across the room. Your heart beating in your ears as you felt it . The lingering pain of what you knew would come next. 

Ootaishi placed the glowing piece down on the table and Kento knew lying would be the worst choice. “Do you confide in her, Kento?”

 He stood up, the desire to grovel pending as he reached out to you. He held your hand firmly.

“She has known me since I was a student. She and I are different in every single way but she knows me and has seen my evolution from some teenager with no idea of the potential I had to a man who found himself.” 

“Just say yes or no. Do you or have you ever confided in her more than you have with me since we’ve been together?” Your eyes pleaded as Kento fought internally.

Searching. He was searching for grace. Where if he told you everything, would you still have the same grace you had with him before? His lips parted, but Kento could only nod. 

  You pulled away as if you’d been touched by a plagued man. 

“Nothing is going on more than talking. I haven’t ever slept with Mei Mei, I have never even thought about it, it has never been something I have ever wanted. I swear.” He saw the display of discomfort and didn’t take a step toward you. 

“This feels just as bad.” 

“Honey I swear. I haven’t ever spoken ill about you to her.”

“That doesn’t even matter, Kento. You tell her everything else. That feels like...” You blinked profusely, losing to the tears that fell down your cheeks. ‘Do you not trust me? Have you fallen out of love with me?”

  His worst fears came to life as he watched you second guess yourself with each moment that passed. He reached out for your hand not allowing you to pull away. “I trust you with my life. You have my heart, my soul. I would give my last just to have you look at me the way you do. Please. Look at me, dove.”

  “Have you ever expressed unhappiness in your marriage to your spouse, Kento?” Ootaishi tried to get your session back on track as the tension didn’t have an end in sight. “Since you both separated earlier in the year.”

“No. I was never unhappy. Happiness was never a question.” 

“Does Mei Mei encourage you to work out your problems at home?”

“She is more of a listening ear for the things I don’t want to burden them with.” Kento drug his hands down his face, his body was still in a numbing shock as he mindlessly sat back down. “When I was a salaryman, Mei reached out to me. We reconnected then and it’s just me getting out the frustrations of my life. But my limit is the intricacies of my marriage.”

  “Ken, what do you mean burden me? We’re married. Your burden is mine to carry with you and defeat together.” 

“The night we met. We went to the late-night diner and talked. I mentioned my reason for leaving sorcery behind the first time.”

“Of course. Your friend Haibara. You told me how much that affected you then.”

Kento brought his hands to his eye, breathing deeply as the emotions rushed back to him. The feeling of existential dread nipping at his sanity if it was that day all over again. 

“It still does. That burden is mine to carry and I think about him so much. Every single day.” He finally looked at you. “I almost died in Shibuya and I accepted death because the guilt of surviving this long. If I died, it would no longer consume me.” He shook away the thoughts. “I see Yuuji and see success and he doesn’t need me. I see you in combat. I see you in how you teach your courses and I tell myself you don’t need me. I didn’t think Haibara needed me but here we are.”

 “Kento,” you scoot to his side, bringing his hand to your lap and running your thumb across his palm. “You were children. Children who were given very little to be successful in that mission. You can’t fault yourself for a mission that was flawed from the beginning.”

His free hand clawed his knee. His jaw clenched as he stared at the floor, eyes glassy, unfocused. He blinked rapidly, trying to push away the burning sensation behind his eyes, but it only made the tears well up more.

“Kento. Is this why you push your wife away? Have those memories been coming back?” Ootaishi placed the box of tissues closer to you and you pulled a few out, ready in case he needed them. “When you’re ready, talk to us.”

  “Yes.. No..” Kento drew in a shaky breath, the weight of everything crashing down on him all at once. His chest tightened, and he shifted his weight, trying to find a distraction, any distraction. But the room felt too small, the silence too loud. The thoughts he'd been burying for years now clawed their way to the surface, too strong to suppress anymore. 

“Take your time, Ken.”

 “Yu is eternally 17 and I’m 31 and losing the only thing that has shown me grace in my life because I’m stuck.” His shoulders trembled slightly as the first tear slipped down his cheek. He wiped it away quickly, almost angrily, as if he could stop the flood by sheer force of will. “I didn’t want pity or a solution. I just needed someone to listen. Mei Mei just listens and doesn’t say anything and that's what I needed. To just have a wall that knows me and listens.”

 You kept your reservations to yourself about Mei Mei, seeing that this is the vulnerability you’d been begging for. “Did you think I couldn’t handle your turmoil?”

He shook his head “I know that you can. That’s the problem.”

Searched and searched his face for what he meant. “The problem?”

‘You were forcing my peace to be disturbed so I couldn’t be complacent. You were forcing me to heal when I wasn’t ready to move forward.”

He leaned forward, pressing his palms against his eyes as if the pressure could stop the emotions from spilling out. But it was useless. Kento’s breaths became more labored, hitching in his chest. His body began to shake, and before he knew it, a soft sob escaped him.

 You offered a quiet but powerful gesture of support by placing your hand over his heart as you gently rubbed his back. “Kento. You’re needed, but not for your strength or agility. We don’t need a warrior out of you. We. I.. I just need you and who you are.”

It was quiet, almost imperceptible. But it broke the dam. “I came back to try and prove a point that I’m needed. But I’m tired of carrying it all. I want to grieve and finally move forward.”

The weight of his words settled in the room as Kento let out soft, quiet sobs that seemed to seep from deep within. 

For the first time in weeks, he let himself feel it all—every bit of pain, sorrow, and regret that had been gnawing at him. And as he sat there, his quiet sobs filling the room, Kento realized how tired he was of pretending to be strong.

August 19th, 2021

The familiar comfort of your once shared home made your heart feel light. Photos and furniture were still in their place as you walked down the hallway and to the kitchen.

Ootaishi suggested taking a few days separately to think and then talk outside her office about what the next step could look like before your upcoming session as you’d officially had a “breakthrough.”

Borderline emotional cheating and survivor guilt. Kento wrapped his head around two concepts he would’ve written off as some type of empty psycho-speak if he was ignorant to the practice. But there it was. Avoidance, guilt, pouring his emotions into someone else, heightened sense of fear.

He planned on finding a way to implement therapy into the jujutsu world when he could do so. But for now, he was looking forward to dinner.

The automatic lights came on in the kitchen as he thanked you for the 5th time since agreeing to cook dinner for the both of you.

“You really don’t have to do this. I would’ve been fine with grabbing leftovers or ordering takeout.” He unbagged the groceries onto the counter as you took the opportunity to look inside the refrigerator.

A six-pack of beer, a third of a steak with two Brussel sprouts, and a sliver of Guinness cake sat on the top shelf as the rest was filled with various condiments and half-eaten leftovers that had met their end. “No offense Ken, but this is not enough food for a grown man. You’re eating like a university student.”

His hoarse laugh filled the kitchen with yours as he began to wash the vegetables while you grabbed the cutting board and knife. “I haven’t been eating at home as much the past few weeks. It’s been either grabbing dinner with the guys or a late-night concoction that I half eat at 2 in the morning.”

“I can tell. Thank goodness for today.”

The sounds of the kitchen being brought to life were the background music to your conversation. Small talk that led to being taught to quick pickle for the best side of pickled garlic you could make. Kento glimpsed at you as you julienned the carrots with deep concentration. Your hands move with care and precision with each slice. Hips acutely swayed as you hummed a tune he knew all to well and he felt the emotions he once swore off for eternity now rushing back for the now fourth time this week.

There was no doubt in his mind that you saved him. And the only thing he had to show for it was how cold he had been to you over the last year. Your spirit never wavered as you stayed patient. He didn’t deserve you.

“Dove?”

“Hm?” Not one to look away from your cutting, you hummed to show your attention being given.

“May I have a hug?” His voice was soft, shy like a youthful schoolboy.

You sat the knife down, looking up to find his warm eyes as you dried your hands. “A hug?”

He nodded with slight hesitation. “Yes. If you feel up to it. I know it’s an odd request, but I’d really like a hug.”

There it was.

Vulnerability looked you in the face as Kento stood there feeling uncertain and anxious for the first time in years. Shifting on the balls of his feet as the night stood still.

You opened your arms, welcoming him in like the warmest sweater that money couldn’t buy. His face immediately went to your hair as he engulfed you like a flame. His warm chest greeted you with his tightening hold around your waist. “I’m so so, sorry.”

“Ken.”

“You’ve given me all of you. For so long without question because you’re an angel.” His large hand came up to the nape of your neck, gently cradling your head as he staved off the part of him that wanted to shut you out.

There was the feeling of unquestionable love that was shared in your embrace. His eyes were tired, showing remorse, grief, and pain all at once. “I’m not an angel by any means. I let this go on for too long without talking about it until I couldn’t even be in the same room as you. I don’t want you to ever feel like you can’t come to me. I’m your partner, your wife. I knew what I was signing up for when we met.”

“You didn’t sign up for holding me while I drunkenly cried in our bathtub.”

“To be fair, we were both drunk and crying that night. And it was my idea to get in the tub in case I couldn’t make it to the toilet in time.”

Kento huffed a laugh at you as a tear rolled down his cheek and onto his shirt. You wiped the trail away with your thumb. “I want to make us work. I don’t care how long it takes to get through every session with you. I want to spend the rest of my life making up for the past 135 days of being away from you and 483 days of being a complete fuck up.”

“It won’t be easy or kind to either of us.”

“I don’t expect it to be. And I don’t expect you to forgive me for my transgressions. I can only hope to earn your friendship and love again.”

  Kento went downon his knees, those brown eyes that held pain and desire looked up to you. He no longer contains his emotions but allows the floodgates to release all that he felt. 

“I’m so sorry.” lips like hot coals pressed right about your belly button, his hands bruisingly at your hips as he nudged your shirt up with his cheek.

“Please forgive me.” you ran your fingers through his hair as the languid brush of his tongue across your torso made your body tense up. “I will grovel.”

“Ken. This isn't necessary.”

Disagreeing with your comment, he shook his head. “Yes. It's more than necessary.” A puppy lost, needing his owner, his tired eyes looked to find you looking down on him like the goddess of forgiveness. “Every breath I take is a gift from you. You are my way of life. My breath. The beginning and end of my being. I will withstand the depths of hell to have your forgiveness. Faust harbors my soul if it’s you I have in return.”

He unbuttoned his shirt as he slowly rose from the floor. The soft, blonde hair that was sparingly spruced on his chest caught the light as his weight pushed you against the counter. Breathing hitched, you tried to remain exceptionally placid. “Kento. Only if you’re ready.”

  “179 days.”

Your brow furrowed as you tried to comprehend his words.

“The last time I was inside of you was 179 days. And I don’t want it to become 180. But only if you’re ready, my angel.” His husky voice made your thighs instinctually squeeze together. “I want to start my apologies while I give you every part of me.”

lovely graphics by the lovely @/saradika-graphics! <3

[tossawary]

For a while, I kept periodically thinking about F/M Wangxian (Male Wei Wuxian and Female Lan Wangji) without being able to figure out why I kept being distracted by F/M Wangxian. I mean, I think different genderbending AU situations are fun to think about in fanfiction, especially in worlds where gender roles are a problem. M/M, F/M, M/F, and F/F Wangxian all change the story slightly and I think it's neat to explore why and how.

And obviously, F!LWJ would be a total babe, that's nice to think about, but why still M!WWX and not F!WWX? F!WWX would also be a total babe, though of a different type, especially as the Yiling Patriarch. But my brain kept insisting that M!WWX was still crucial somehow and I couldn't figure out why that setup.

I mean, it is funny to think about how M!WWX's unchanged flirty behavior in their teenage years would suddenly set off every single alarm bell in the Cloud Recesses due to people being able to SEE IT thanks to heteronormativity goggles. WWX with a degree of societal permission to be romantically interested in Lan Wangji? Intolerable levels of annoying. Unbearable to witness. Singing love songs under her balcony type bullshit like he wants her to start another fight under the moonlight. He's writing her poetry (clever "joke" poems bordering on innuendo and actual romantic poems) and has the gall to be good at it. Lan Qiren is barely resisting the urge to beat WWX off with a broomstick. Lan Xichen doesn't know whether to be horrified or delighted (LWJ is bluuuuushing).

I do also like the idea of WWX coming back from the dead and finding out that the common people have decided in the past decade (thanks to the heteronormativity goggles) that the noble female cultivator LWJ had a Tragic Romance with the Evil Yiling Patriarch. Poor woman! WWX: "Who had a what now?" (I do also like the idea of Wangxian actually having a Tragic Romance during and after the war. And mutually stated romantic interest and affection still didn't fix anything for them. But it's funny to think about WWX getting completely blindsided by this EPIC LOVE STORY if there was no actual relationship.)

(Sizhui is still adopted here! Noble and pure-hearted LWJ adopted a war orphan because she longed to be a mother but swore never to love again after the Yiling Patriarch broke her heart, obviously! WWX, listening to this gossip: "She what? I mean, Lan Zhan would make an amazing mom, good for her, lucky kid, and no one is good enough for her if she doesn't want to get married, but seriously, I cannot stress this enough, what the fuck. She didn't like me back! Aiyah, I bet she's still so mad at me for ruining her reputation like this.")

Eventually, I realized that the key piece of this AU that I was missing was that I wanted to write F/M Wangxian that turned into F/F Wangxian. Because I think Transfem Wei Wuxian would display (and I mean this affectionately) the most ridiculous trans egg behavior imaginable, especially because it would lean more towards one of those "I was mostly fine living as a guy, but I'm so much happier as a girl" situations. Absurd amounts of queer foreshadowing.

So, Wei Wuxian gets resurrected into a female MXY's body or something and obliviously goes, "Oh! This is nice! I've always wanted to try being a woman! Yes, I can roll with this." And eventually Wei Wuxian has to actually examine the fact that she really likes being a woman and doesn't want to "go back" to being a man in any way, but not before putting Lan Wangji through an incredible amount of new "joke" flirtation. And people who knew WWX before are like... "Hmm. Some things are making sense now."

Things like: 1) As a teenager, WWX insisted that LWJ was such a strong woman that, if they got married, LWJ could be "the husband" and "he" would happily be "the wife". There were lots and lots of "I want to live as Jiejie's spoiled wife" jokes. Consequently, at the Cloud Recesses, at least one outrageously inappropriate joke was made by WWX about LWJ knocking "him" up, because WWX's breeding kink is still very much a thing. WWX didn't know about her breeding kink when she made that joke; both she and LWJ learned something about themselves that day.

2) Wei Wuxian would frequently pull crossdressing-related pranks saying: "Wow, this is crazy. I can't believe you guys are forcing me to put on a dress and all this makeup for this prank! You guys are wild!" And Jiang Cheng would reply: "No one is forcing you to do this. No one dared you. You suddenly volunteered to crossdress for a prank that does not require crossdressing AGAIN. Also, give me that brush, I'll do your makeup because you suck ass at it."

3) WWX would frequently go on rants about how women are so much more beautiful than men, which flew under the radar as a "normal behavior for a lustful young man", but there was always something a little off about it. Like, WWX might say that women are so beautiful and perfect that everyone would choose to be one if allowed to pick before being born just to admire the gorgeous view, and JC might say, "I don't think that's quite right...?" But WWX would just say something like (like an obnoxious teenage sibling), "That's because you know that you'd make an ugly woman!" or, "Are you saying that women aren't perfect? Also, are you saying Shijie isn't the best person in the world?" And JC would have to be like, "I didn't say that! And I'd make a beautiful woman, fuck you! Also, how is that relevant to your point?"

By the end of this AU, there is at least one public love confession that is horribly embarrassing for everyone else to witness, in which Wei Wuxian has finally realized that LWJ used to be in love with "him" and that she loves LWJ back, but tearfully apologizes because she can't be the handsome man that LWJ loved anymore. Even if she could be a man again, she still doesn't want to stop being a woman, even if she's not very good at it yet. She can't perform the required husbandly duties like provide a good home for LWJ! She can't father LWJ's children anymore!

(Jiang Cheng: "Do you have to do this now?! Stop being indecent! There are children here. Also, we're all being held hostage.")

But it's all cool! Because shortly after realizing WWX was back and determined to live as a woman, LWJ speedran a sexuality crisis, flipped a mental switch, and essentially went, "I'm a lesbian now." (Or maybe LWJ was really confused about being attracted to WWX when they first met, because LWJ had only been physically attracted to her fellow female disciples up until then, so WWX seemed like the "exception", until WWX comes back from the dead as a woman and then it's like, "Ah. Not an exception after all.")

[soaringwide]

Pick a Card: What is blooming for you this spring?

Spring is always a magical time for me, and I know I'm not alone. This time of the year, I can feel excitement rise in my heart, the desire to make plan, to savor life to the fullest. And every time feels different, like I'm living it for the first time, with only a vague memory of what it was before.

So I wanted to make this pick a card collective reading about what is blooming for you this spring? I will leave the message open to welcome any area of life and type of message, and provide not only an energy check, if you will, but some advice on how to welcome it fully.

How does that work?

Take a moment to recollect yourself, breathe, close your eyes if you need to, focus on the moment. Look at the 4 pictures and select the one that draws you in the most. Not the one you think looks cooler but the one that creates that pinching feeling inside of you. The one that makes you feel it has something to say.

It is possible to feel attracted to more than one pile, just as it is possible to only find parts of the reading relevant. Remember that this reading is meant for many people so it won't be perfectly applicable to your situation.

PILE 1

Cards: 3 of Swords Rx + Page of Swords Rx + Death + The Vow + 9 of Wands Rx The Gem / 7 of Swords + 10 of Swords + Stress + Page of Cups + Courage + 5 of Cups Rx + Ace of Swords / The Protectress + The Shaman

For the energy-check part, The Death arrives like the return of lifeblood in the branches, shaking things up to leave space for the new buds that are to come. This beginning of spring, a massive cleanup of old ties and energies is occurring. Cutting away the old to let the new emerge.

You're in the process of leaving behind a tie that, while not negative per say, was definitely something you had to leave behind in order to move forward and rise to the skies. It seems this tie was something you found value in for a very long time, but you made or are making the choice to move forward.

This comes somewhat like a battle you had to experience within you, as it was not easy to separate from and left you feeling victimized and defeated, like the entire world was against you or out to get you. This whole situation caused intense heartache and a feeling of almost unbearable internal pressure which you may have turned against yourself in fits of self destructive impulses and anxiousness.

On some level you were or are still resisting this change, or rather, what this change is going to lead to. You are trying to control the outcome and refusing to surrender due to a lack of trust or faith. You are trying to burn the steps to reach the end of this uncomfortable time quicker.

The good thing is by going through the motion of this change, you are finding your inner light. From the pressure is born a beautiful gemstone that catches on the tiniest gleam. You are also not only learning to stand up for yourself and your values, but also to embark on a new journey.

There will be a time of transition. At first you will feel guilty of what you're leaving behind which will cause a lot of inner turmoil and tears shed. You will feel like you're getting away with something you shouldn't be. You will feel like you've hit rock bottom in a rather dramatic way, but the good thing is that the only way to go is up!

What's going to follow this is that you'll become at peace with your own feelings, will learn to be sovereign in yourself no matter what's happening outside of you. You know yourself and what you stand for and you won't get put out of balance anymore. You're learning the courage it takes to stand up for your emotional peace and you will know how to defend it ferociously.

Once you'll be done mourning what you've lost, you'll find a lot of clarity and desire to initiate the next step of your life in a very stimulating phase full of new ideas. You'll realize that the key thing in your situation is to trust the process and let it flow.

Now onto some advice on how to navigate that:

You need to be mindful of how you spend your energy, and by that I mean, you need to get enough rest. Yes spring is stimulating and you may find yourself wanting to make a billion plans, but you've got to understand that your body and mind need rest and relaxation too. Protect yourself, say no when you need to, even to yourself. The other more spiritual side of this is that you're somewhat vulnerable at the moment and need to be careful not to be swayed by the opinion of others. Stand strongly in your own skin, your own beliefs and don't give into something that doesn't truly align with yourself.

You inner fire is unique and you need to remember that whatever it is you will become, you will always be you in all your beautiful strangeness. So embrace what it is to be you, don't be ashamed of if or try to hide it, and shine of your fucked up light.

PILE 2

I just wanted to preface this reading with a warning, it's a bit difficult but the advice is very hopeful and sweet so please don't feel too down about it because it will get better!

Cards: The Poet + The Queen of Cups Rx + Healing + Ace of Cups Rx + Let go + Courage Rx + Ambition + 5 of Pentacles + Acceptance + The Unseen + Bottled Up + The Pilgrim + Anger / 10 of Pentacles Rx + Forgive + Death Rx + Overwhelmed + High Priestess Rx + Gloom + Blessings and Curses Rx + The Shaman Rx / The Devil + 4 of Swords Rx + 10 of Swords Rx / Temperance Rx + Manic + 9 of Cups + Love + Joy + Harmony

In the first few moments of spring, I see you slowly leaving a phase where you didn't allow your emotional needs to be met, or allowed yourself to feel something specific. Due to past experiences, you've felt like your deep feelings where not listened to and were dismissed. Your own light was not seen and remained in the dark because it seems that no matter what emotion you shared, it only led to chaos around you. You ended up discarding them like an useless relic, baring yourself from the ability to heal with them, ending up stuck in place because you don't see that from accepting the sorrow you can learn lessons that will lead you to bloom again.

You are scared of leaving something behind, something that doesn't fulfill you emotionally like it used to, something you had great ambition for. Maybe it's a relationship. Maybe it's a passion or a dream. Ultimately, this is leaving you feeling like you're stuck in the winter, unable to feel the new energy of spring, because you're not accepting this new wave of change.

You are about to embark on a new journey, but unable that you are to see the top of the mountain, you remain wandering in the snow doubting it's even worth it because all you can see is a difficult path. This is causing a lot of anger, which ironically is the only emotion you let out, everything else is trapped within.

This spring, I see your going through this struggle but learning very important lessons in the process. Basically, you're on a journey of self acceptance, both of your flaws and qualities you don't express to the world.

There will be a need to let go of familial expectations that were placed upon you and to forgive the hurt it did to you. It seems you will be resisting change until it becomes overwhelming in order to force you to make a choice. Once that point is reached, it will be hard to see the situation from a different perspective, as in, you will be emotionally drowning into feelings of despair, but, really, that's necessary because you've been shutting yourself from that for too long, keeping busy in order not to think about it.

The process of spring is to free yourself from those heavy bonds. Here is the advice in order to navigate that better:

First of all, you need to cool down and restore your balance. Don't try to fix things by being overly active but instead try to find some rest and moments of silence to listen within.

Also, there is plenty of love around you to be felt and to enjoy, perhaps even a new relationship or one that you closed yourself to. The advice is to be positive about the future. Really all those advice cards are super bright so you're getting massively encouraged.

You will be able to share joy around you once those dark yucky feelings have been cleared.

What if you stopped resisting? I think you would find change doesn't have to be so difficult and painful, and that there is beauty and sweetness waiting for you just around the corner. Open yourself, be playful, and try to remember the wonder of a child discovering spring once more.

PILE 3

Cards: The Bridge + The Moon + Let Go + 10 of Wands + Relieved + Ace of Pentacles + Queen of Swords Rx + The Comic / The Devil + Renewal Rx + Anger Rx + Strength + Forgive Rx + Page of Cups + You are Deserving / 2 of Swords + Gratitude + 2 of Wands + Gloom + Energy

The energy check in this change of season indicates for you a time of transition, where you're crossing from one stage to the next.

At the moment, you're letting go of the very introspective vibe of winter, that forces us to retreat within and inside and rest while waiting for the return of the light. Perhaps this winter was the opportunity to reflect over something painful for you and you've finally reached the point where you can disengage from it and move forward. Because it seems like a burden you were carrying is being released, which is bringing you a renewed sense of hope. To be more precise, you were working hard to carry that weight and now that you finally were able to release it, you feel at ease again.

You're lightening up, seeing the humor and joy of life and learning to be in a more lighthearted mood. I see you really enjoying this change of season and having some type of mood shift. After the heaviness of winter, your new found freedom gave you a reason to smile again.

It also seems you're getting finally getting some new opportunities that were previously barred from you which caused a lot of resentment, because you felt like you were owed something you weren't getting and it was getting in the way of your prosperity. I see that you still have some work to do on that front as you may be lacking courage to seize those opportunities because you feel too unsure of yourself and vulnerable. You may want to isolate yourself as a mean of protection, despite wanting those opportunities direly.

This spring, I see you will need to be careful not to fall back in your old limiting habit of letting yourself be trampled on. You might have a tendency to repress your anger, because you have been told it's not a good emotion to express, which is true, but in your case, your anger can free you because it makes you aware of other people stepping over your boundaries. I'm not saying go punch your boss in the face, but use this anger to reflect on why exactly you feel disrespected, and use that as a motivation to change your circumstances and honor your boundaries.

I also see, and it's a continuation of the previous message, that you will build your character by learning that you don't always need to forgive. It's okay to burn the bridge and take care of yourself first. You don't need to accommodate everyone. Keep your gentleness for the people who deserve it. And I'm saying that because in your case, the balance is waaay off.

Something else that's coming this spring is a message to open yourself to new emotions, perhaps regarding to love, be it romantic or platonic. There is a strong message that you feel like you are not deserving of it and you are somewhat shutting yourself to discovering this part of yourself. Spring is the seasons where so many bubbly feelings awaken and you can welcome that in your heart.

The advice on how to navigate this time better is to, first, try not to shut yourself off the blessing that are coming to you. It's easy to expect the worse and blinding yourself in the process. The key to move forward is to find a more positive mindset, not to assume that everything will be doom and gloom but daring hoping for the best! A mindset exercise you could use could be gratitude. There's already so much good things happening around you but you might not see it because you focus a lot on the negative. Allow yourself to dream and plan the future from an optimistic perspective.

The final message is very fitting considering the title of this reading, as it is advising you to redirect your energy to make your own flowers bloom, not other's. Work on cultivating a fertile soil within yourself and you will be in a much better mindset to attract good things. Remember that while it is altruistic to want to help others, you can't do it if you are yourself depleted, you need to help yourself first.

PILE 4

Cards: The Fool + Knight of Wands + Joy Rx + 3 of Cups Rx + Intrusive Thoughts + The Mentor + Wounded Heart + The Animal + Jealousy / The Portal + King of Pentacles + Bottled Up Rx + 4 of Cups + Let Go + The Star Rx + Fear / The servant Queen

Much like all piles, the start of spring and current energy check, is the time of a big renewal for you, indicated by the Fool. It's the start of a new journey with a fresh mindset and an adventurous heart. However, I can sense that it's very much a desire of yours at this point and not something you can fully indulge in at the moment.

You don't quite dare to let yourself go to celebrate this new change you feel being birthed inside of you, because you have these automatic intrusive thoughts born from anxiety that you have a hard time detaching from. But I see you working on it with a mentor figure, perhaps a therapist, a teacher or someone wise close to you. You seem to be especially working on emotional wounds that are still fresh, or felt to be still fresh.

Also, you feel energy rise within you, a desire to pursue your passion, to start planning things, perhaps a trip or a festival, but something is stopping you from doing it. It's like you know you want it and will make you happy, but you can't access it and it kills your joy.

As a result, you sort of feel like a caged animal, caged in your routine and full of desire to break free, which leads to feelings of envy for what other are able to enjoy and not you.

What is blooming for you this spring is that, there is some type of adventure to be found despite everything. There is something you don't expect coming for you, a new adventure to be had.

It seems something is going to unlock prosperity-wise, something that has seemed blocked for a while but is finally giving you the ability to soar. However, you will have to seize it and not let your low thoughts get in the way of even noticing it. You will have to learn to let go of that tendency of yours. There is renewal, healing and blessings coming for you, but you will miss out if you let fear dictate your actions.

The advice on how to navigate the season is to stop believing that you don't deserve nice things. You have a tendency to self-sabotage and it's doing you a massive disservice. It ties into what I was saying earlier about not blocking your own blessings because of your negative thoughts, because there is something great within your reach.

You must nurture your mind because it's through your mind that you experience the world. It's like a big lens and if it's dirty you get a blurry vision of reality. Work on cleaning your lens and you will see that the world will become an open field for adventure as a result.

[chouxsardine]

Permission to Fall -- Jake Kiszka x reader

Summary: "Don't be afraid of falling, because he will catch you everytime" --Where things became too much at your company's Christmas party and Jake comes to the rescue as the most thoughtful boyfriend that he is.

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x reader

Word Count: 3211

Warnings: descriptions of a panic attack, feet (nothing gross or super detailed), a drop of superstition (let me know if I've missed any)

Genre: Fluff, hurt/comfort

Author's note: This is originally an idea inspired by @jakesguitarsolo and written for her. I hope you feel better now, dear. One idea spins into me pulling an all nighter...And here it is. This also goes to whoever feels stressed around this time of the year. Yes, things are tough, but you are stronger. I am so proud of you. If you want to talk, feel free to send me an ask or message. This is my first gvf fic and my first time writing anything for threes years. I really enjoyed writing it. I hope you enjoy reading it too.

🎧: I am listening to I Need You Most of All by Stephen Sanchez while writing this (you can tell the title is taken from the lyrics)

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Suddenly everything is too much.

But you know damn well that it doesn’t just happen “suddenly”. In fact, shit has been building up for days, or even weeks. You don’t know if it’s the end-of-year frenzy getting into everyone’s head, Mercury is in retrograde, or the depleted Vitamin D levels due to shortened daylight, you’ve had it particularly rough recently, from small inconveniences like your favourite snack being out of stock at the local grocery store for three consecutive weeks to mishaps like you taking the blame for your impotent coworker. You are exhausted, to say the least; you couldn’t wait for the holidays. Not entirely for its cheer, but for the few precious days off. You just need a break from everything.

Now you are stuck in your company’s holiday party. The annual event that you dreaded the most. It involves too many fake smiles, false-hearted small talk, and tooth-rotting-sweet cupcakes that clearly have too much food colouring. All the mental preparing goes south as you stand in the room, the stabbing pain from your high-heels growing more and more unbearable by the second. Too many people.

“Just another thirty minutes, you can do it. Just another thirty minutes”. You hopelessly glance at the clock on the wall, flashbacking to your childhood self squirming in the seats waiting for math class to end.

But of course, something has to make matters worse. The real straw that breaks the camel’s back is your clumsy coworker accidentally bumping into you and spilling her drink on your shoes.

“Oh my god, I am so so sorry, y/n!” She hastily apologizes in a high-pitched squeal. A few people turn their heads toward your direction.

“No, no, it’s okay, don’t worry about it.” Embarrassment. Embarrassment. Panic. Trouble. You try to wave her off. The shoes aren’t even your top concerns right now; you just want her to stop talking and stop attracting more unwanted attention.

“Really? Oh I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to! It’s just—”

“Please.” You take the handful of tissues from her, look her in the eyes, almost pleading, “It’s fine. Please excuse me, I’ll just go to the washroom real quick.”

Once the washroom door is closed behind you, you feel like collapsing right there on the floor. You wobble your way to the sink, arms propped up on the cold marble surface. You don’t dare to look at yourself in the mirror. Your ears are buzzing and the twisted feeling in your lungs tightens. As if a cold hand is wringing a wet towel inside your stomach, as if someone is shoving your head into cold water, you can't breath properly. You try to draw a breath, but end up sounding like a stranded whale. Before it develops into a full-blown panic attack that you can’t handle, you managed to muster the last bit of your sanity and dial that number with trembling fingers.

Jake picks up on the second ring.

“Hi, love. What’s up? ”

Upon hearing his voice, your tears break free. You are sobbing so hard that you have to bite down on your knuckles to keep the volume down. God forbid any busybody out there overhearing sobbing coming out of the washroom. “Ja—Jake—-”You struggled to form a coherent syllable.

“What’s wrong, y/n? Are you hurt?” His voice immediately grows sterner, stripped of of the previous languidness.

To talk under this state feels like squeezing words out of your veins. “Ca—can—you..come p—pick me up? Company—p-party.” You stutter through gritted teeth.

There is some shuffled noise over the phone, a loud bang sounding like he had bumped into something, a silent “fuck” under his breath, then his voice reaches your ears again: “Coming right now, baby, take a deep breath for me.”

You hear the faint beeping of car keys. More shuffled noise. More beeping. That means he has started the car, right? That means he will be here soon, right? You mind is racing and spinning and your lungs are still acting up, only allow silvers of oxygen into your body. You feel like you are watching the world through a distorted filter. A scarier thought jumps into your brain: you whiny puny thing, continue crying and your panic will affect Jake. The roads are slippery now, and it will be all your fault if he ends up in a car accident.

As if being slapped in the face, you manage to suck in a deep breath like a scuba diver resurfacing to the water: “Drive safe please, please Jake, please—I will wait for you.”

Jake makes a sound that is somewhat between a relieved laugh and a resigned sigh. He knows instantly what’s going on in your overthinking brain; you are worried about him. The thoughtfulness must be engraved in y/n’s brain, he thought, always, always putting others in front of herself, even when she’s having a panic attack. And Jake knows you are correct. It is only upon hearing your words that he realizes how hard he was gripping the steering wheel. He recomposes himself, relaxing his shoulder, “Don’t you worry about me, love. I will stay on the phone if that makes you feel better, yeah? Ain’t nothing gonna happen to me.”

“Knock on wood!” You hiss between sobbing, frantically searching for any wooden material around you. Damn it, why is everything so shiny and glassy?

Jake is amazed that he even lets out a short laugh under the circumstances. Yes, his heart aches hearing his girl being a mess over the phone, and he wishes he could grow wings and fly to her side. But meanwhile, he can't help but find you cute like this. He knocks three times on the mini wooden tissue box that he keeps in the middle console.

“Yes, knock on wood. You hear that, doll?”

“Hmm.” You would honestly believe anything now. Hearing Jake’s voice and imagining him coming to you is like brown noise for babies. Your lungs finally decide to have mercy on you, and you can now somehow draw in shallow breaths albeit the pain in your chest.

Jake is relieved as he sees the green lights shining at the last intersection before turning left onto the side road where your company is located. “I’m here. Can you come down by yourself, love? Or do you want me to get you?”

“I can come down.” You say. The thought of him finding you in a messy pile on the bathroom floor makes you wince, even though he’d probably seen worse.

“Okay baby, see you in a second.”

You don’t remember how you collected your coat and pushed your way through the crowded room without many people noticing. The next moment, your sensations are restored, and you find yourself already in Jake’s arms. He's waiting for you in the area between the automatic glass door and the revolving door outside, a place that is warm with air conditioning but won’t attract nosy people. He wraps you in a hug with his wool jacket. His comforting scent fills your nostrils, a powerful pacifier for your naughty lungs. For the first time this evening, you can finally breathe properly like a normal human being. The rush of fresh air makes you release a loud sob like a newborn baby. The relief of seeing him safely standing in front of you and the release of finally being free from the stressful and stuffy environment ushers more tears to stream down your face.

“Shhhh…..you’re okay now, y/n, safe now. I’m here.” His hand wraps protectively around the back of your head as he plants kisses into your hair. “Poor girl, let’s get to the car and go home.”

Home. Home sounds heavenly to your right now. You couldn’t think of a better combination of these four letters in the whole of human history.

On the way back, you curl into a ball on the passenger seat like a battered puppy. Jake holds your hand whenever he gets the chance, his strong calloused fingers gently massaging yours, tracing the patterns on your palm, his thumb brushing the back of your hand, providing warmth. No longer crying, your shoulders occasionally shudder with involuntary sobs that escape you. But other than that, you are falling into a trance. Your gaze concentrated on Jake’s perfect side profile through hooded eyes, watching in awe as the passing streetlights formed patterns of shadow on his graceful nose and cheeks; your mind numb without a single thought.

It is only when Jake wakes you up that you realize you have fallen asleep. The car is already parked in the garage, the familiar and comforting damp smell seeping in.

“We are home now, sleepyhead.” Jake smiles at you, tapping on your wrist to signal you to wait as he gets out of the car and opens your side of the door. Just as you were about to step off, Jake reaches to cradle you by the shoulders and knees, carrying you bridle-style into the house. You hide your face shyly in the crook of his neck, secretly grateful because your feet are indeed sore in those heels.

Jake puts you down by the shoe rack, motioning you to put your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself as he squats down in front you, holding your ankles and taking off your shoes. If he did see the stains, he didn’t ask any questions, only cooed when he saw the blisters on your heels.

“Let’s go upstairs and get your makeup off, then we’ll cuddle and go to bed, yeah?” Jake stands up, hanging up your coat before cupping your cheeks and placing a kiss on your forehead.

You never hated makeup more than now, regretting to put it on in the first place, now that it has become the annoying barrier lying in your way to bedtime. But Jake says “let’s,” that means he’s going to do it together with you, right?

“Jake?” You whine bashfully.

“Yes, love?”

You tilt up your chin and close your eyes, “One more kissy, please?”

Jake swears he feels a part of his heart melt right there. Who is he to deny you?

“Of course, as many as my princess would like.”

Stepping into the bathroom, Jake sits you on the closed toilet seat. He opens the drawer, grabs your makeup remover and some cotton pads. He applies some liquid onto the wipes and lifts up your chin.

“Close your eyes for me, love.” The cool liquid on your eyelids makes your eyebrows twitch, causing Jake to chuckle, “I know, I know. Just a little longer.”

You sit quietly, mesmerized and hypnotized under his touch. His movements are almost rhythmic. Is this how cats feel when their owners scratches behind their ears? You fear that if you make a sound, you will actually let out a purr.

Jake continues until most of your makeup is gone. “Hold out your hands,” you hear him say and complied. Two dollops of foamy liquid landed in the centre of your palm, and you opened your eyes to recognize they are your face wash. Jake tugs on your wrist, leading you to stand in front of the sink.

“Can you wash your pretty face now, darling? Wash up, and I’ll be back in a minute.”

You nodded, feeling lighter and more relaxed now without your makeup and even more content when you turn on the tap and find out that Jake has already tuned it to a lukewarm temperature for you.

When Jake returned, he was calling you from the bedroom. You have already brushed your teeth and let down your hair.

You walked into the bedroom and are welcomed by the scent of bergamot and sandalwood from your favourite candle glowing on the night stand. Jake was pulling an old T-shirt out from the closet. It was the vintage Joan Jett and The Blackhearts shirt, the patterns half faded, and materials worn-out soft. You saw him laying out one of his boxers for you too. He knows you always prefer them to your own underwear as pyjamas.

“Come sit, angel.” He patted the bench at the foot of the bed, him sitting across from it on a small stool.

It is only when you walked close that you saw the wooden foot spa basin, with clouds of steam rising from it. As you sat down, he gently took your ankle and balanced your feet on the edge of the basin, so that the hot water is steaming your sole.

“It’s still a bit hot.” He looks up to you. “I put Epsom salt and eucalyptus oil in it.”

“Where did you get this?” You feel like the heat from the bottom of the feet is slowly being absorbed into your veins and rising up to your cheeks. You wiggle your toes nervously.

Jake lets out a giggle, “Well, mum suggested once to Josh about the foot spa thing, said it helps with stress and tense muscles. You know, with him running barefoot on stage and all.” He reaches down to sprinkle some water onto your feet, letting you adjust to the temperature. “But Josh got the fancy electric ones. I thought this is better. More authentic, don’t you think?”

“Uh-hmm.”

“Your nails are all chipped,” Jake looks down, “maybe tomorrow we can repaint them? I saw you bought a new colour the other day.”

Tender. So tender. From his tone to his caramel brown eyes. The light from the lamp illuminates the left side of his face, giving it a solemn, smooth glow like a wax statue. Your heart swells; love makes it rise like Soufflé in the oven. The soft surface rises up until it touches your ribcage, threatening to spill those tears again.

“Thank you, Jake.” You dare not raise your voice, fearing that it will break, “I just got a bit overwhelmed at the party, is all.”

Jake eases your feet slowly into the water now that it’s the perfect temperature. The slight sling of your blisters is soon overwhelmed by the all-encompassing warmth that rises all the way to your ankle.

After a few heart beats, he speaks again. “You’ll always have me, y/n. You are allowed to fall, to break. I will be here to catch you, to piece you together. Whatever you need.”

Finally you were snuggled together in bed. You, a human koala, cling to Jake with your face pressed against his chest. His arm snakes around your shoulder, fingers mindlessly tracing your collarbone, strumming some unknown patterns. His heartbeat thumping in your ear, the perfect lullaby. The steady rise and fall of his chest is like waves, rocking you into a sweet slumber. Your eyelids feel heavy like velvet drapes. There’s still a stubborn voice in your brain keeping you from falling asleep. There’s still one more thing you need to do, even though you understood each other perfectly.

“Jake?” Your voice low like a murmur. Jake almost didn’t hear you at first.

“What is it, babe?”

“I love you.” Those words come out as a slur, and like a magic spell, you fall into the deep embrace of sleep as soon as the last syllable leaves your lips. Now clear of any stress and worries in the arms of your lover, the strained string in you brain that has been holding on for dear life the whole evening finally snaps. You’re out like a light.

“I love you back, y/n, through and through.” He whispers into your dream.

You woke up to an empty bed, the sheet on his side still has the human-shaped imprint. Jake is a night owl; it is pretty common that he just gets up in the middle of the night and ends up doing some random things around the house. Most often it’s him strumming the guitar and experimenting with his ideas for new tunes in the home studio downstairs. But you have also caught him fixing chipped paint on the walls, repotting the succulents in the garage, and pouring broth into the crockpot with chicken thighs and smoked ham hock (“so we could have warm chicken chili in the morning!”; to be honest, it’s indeed delicious; you had two bowls and had to skip lunch that day). Just to name a few, so the possibilities are endless.

You get out of bed, creep cross the corridor and tiptoe your way down the stairs. The lights at the doorway are on; you thought Jake forgot to turn them off. However, as you approach, you see Jake squatting down next to the shoe rack, his back towards you, and a brush and some spray bottles laying nearby.

You move closer and see him holding the clothes steamer near your wine-stained shoes. The heels you wore have a suede tip in the front, and unfortunately, that’s where the wine was mostly spilt on. After a few moments, Jake uses the wire brush to clean the surface. He stops from time to time, holding it further to inspect the result.

You waited until he stops again to make some sounds, announcing your presence. Jake immediately turns around. His eyes softens upon seeing you.

“What are you doing up?”

You go to squat down next to him, kissing his temple before resting your head on his shoulder.

“You just bought these not so long ago, yeah? It’d be a shame to leave them stained.” Jake lets more steam soak into the fabric before brushing them again. “I’m almost done. I saw this trick online, and it looks pretty legit.” It’s only then that you noticed his phone on the side, the screen showing the replies from some Reddit post.

“Thank you, baby.” You rub your cheeks slightly on his T-shirt; the feeling of warm pastry once again fills your heart.

“No worries, doll. I think it’s good for now. Let’s leave them here and check in the morning.” Jake starts putting away his tools before pulling you up and wrapping his arm around your waist, leading you back upstairs.

On your way, something familiar catches your eye. You must’ve missed it earlier.

“Wait, where did you get that?” You stop, pointing at what happens to be a whole case of your favourite snack lying on the kitchen counter.

“Oh, I saw the stores are out of them, so I ordered them online. They just arrived today.” Jake scratches his head, his tone tainted with slight disappointment.“I thought they’d be a nice surprise as stocking stuffers, but…”

You stopped him mid-sentence with a kiss.

“I love you.” This time you said it clear against his lips.

“Oh doll, I love you back,” he smiles, showing the cutest wrinkle on his nose. His hands brush your shoulder as you resume your steps upstairs. “Let’s get a few more hours of sleep now. And when you wake up, you will wake up to some yummy pancakes and a pair of stain-free shoes, huh? How does that sound?”

Oh Lord, that sounds heavenly. That sounds just like home.

“I’d like that, Jake. I’d like that very, very much.”

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Thank you for reading :) any comments and feedbacks are greatly welcomed and deeply appreciated

(The stain-removing tips comes from malccy72 on reddit :D

If you also feel like reading a smutty (but also fluffy?) piece🤭: Mariner's Complex || Love is a four-legged word || The Lucky Ones

or some Christmas fluff: Ticked (all my boxes)

[maxislvt]

Could we get Soft!Dark! Professor!Wanda convincing Reader that she (Reader) is too dumb for college but it's okay because she's beautiful and Wanda will take care of her?

warnings: pet play, fingering, semi public sex, vaginal fingering, manipulation, mommy kink

The paper in front of you sent you spiraling. Thirty six percent? You'd never gotten that low of a grade on anything.

"I'm sorry Profess- Wanda, but there must be a mistake of some kind. This can't be my exam. I- I know I got more questions right!" You tried to keep your voice level, but it cracked under the stress anyway. Balancing work and classes was hard already, but with your crumbling home life you were on the edge. You had taken a few days off and missed a few assignments. Your other professors were understanding and had given you extensions or voided some lesser assignments for you all together.

But it seemed that even that wasn't enough to save your academics.

Wanda smiled at you sweetly as she cupped your face. "Shush, don't cry. I know it's tough, but you're just too pretty to be doing all this work." She patted her lap as a signal for you to sit in it. Wanda had some rather unethical means of helping you cope with the recent stress in your life, but you needed it.

When you walked into her officer hours drenched, on the brink of tears, and shivering — she had no choice but to help you. At first, she ignored the rubric and her burning desire for you in favor of comforting you. It was so easy to push you further. you played coy and grew bashful at her affections but didn't put up a fight as she spread your legs and kissed up your thighs. Some would say she had taken advantage of you. That wasn't the case at all. Wanda had worked hard to mold you into an obedient pet for her.

Your professor kissed down the side of your face as her hands roamed your body. "You know mommy loves you so much and I would never do anything to hurt you, right?" This was her time to strike. If she couldn't take you now, she'd never be able to do it. "Why don't you take off the semester and come live with me instead?" Her arms wrapped possessively around your waist and pulled you closer. "I know you're stressed out and back there isn't the best option for you right now. Just come with me instead, I promise I'll take good care of you."

It was such a tempting offer. You had only pushed yourself so far because going home would just make you feel worse. Wanda was offering you a way out. "I…I don't Wanda. You do so much for me already and I'm worried we'll get caught." Your concerns were cut short by a deep whimper. Wanda's hand slipped into your shorts and rubbed your clit through the fabric of your underwear. "I don't wanna be a bother- ah!"

"Oh sweetness, you're never bothering me. You're too pretty to be stressed out all the time. Let mommy help you." She pressed kisses against the side of your face as her fingers spread your lower lips. "I know you're such a smart little puppy, but you need a break." You were putty in her hands. Wanda's thumb toyed with your clit as she pushed you further into her lap. "You can trust mommy."

Your teeth clamped down on your lower lip. "I…I'll consider it." A desperate whine slipped from your mouth despite your best attempt to stay quiet. "Mommy can you please touch me the right way?" The wetness between your legs was unbearable. Wanda wouldn't hesitate to punish you if you attempted to get yourself off.

Wanda's fingers were covered in your slick quickly. "Only good puppies that listen to their mommies get to cum." The tips of her fingers circled your hole. They pushed down just enough for you to know they were there, but didn't go any further. "Mommy knows what's best for you, puppy. Just say yes, okay? I'll even do all that icky paperwork!"

Wanda always had a way of clouding your mind when she got like this. Even if you entered her office with the straightest mind — she'd have you bent over and whimpering like a bitch in heat in a matter of minutes. It wasn't fair. You didn't have the brain power to argue. "Okay- okay! I'll stay with mommy, just please touch my puppy parts. They hurt so bad."

Wanda hummed in approval as her fingers sank into the heat of your cunt. "That's my good puppy, just trust mommy will take care of you."

You didn't know it then, but you were throwing your life away right then. It was never going to be just a semester. Wanda would have you trapped in her home and you'd forget all about college. You'd never see your friends again or get the chance to make things right with your parents. You'd never be anything more than Wanda's precious little lap dog.