#my stomach hurts but im fine fr

[jjenthusee]

Enthusiasm

Pairing: Jason Todd x Reader

Summary: Sometimes the most intimidating can be the most tender.

A/N: HAPPYYY NEW YEAR i give u soft Jason 😌 i’ve been on and off (so sorry about that) but im excited to see what stories will be posted to this account this upcoming year :D so much has happened to end December, but i powered through and i wanted to finish something that was sitting in my drafts. so please ENJOY :) comment if you’re comfortable, reblog if you like the story, and have some flowers 💐

Tags: Fluff, hurt/comfort, i just wanna kiss his beautiful face fr, reader and jason are in competition of who can out fluff the other

Word Count: 2.5k

previous work linked here

The smell was strong.

Gunpowder and soaked clothes. Jason felt like a wet dog coming home with his tail between his legs. Holding onto the door frames, trying to not bump into the walls.

He had hoped the rain would have washed away most of the blood and burnt smell that radiated from his skin, but no matter how much he tried to rub it off, it was still there. Lingering after his every step, after every breath he took.

Each step into your apartment felt like he was contaminating more of the air, that he was diminishing the warmth you exuded so effortlessly.

His fingertips burned as he tried to grab a dry shirt and some sweats to change into, but his hands wouldn’t stop shaking.

His mind raced and raced as he couldn’t focus enough to grab a single hanger in the closet. He already felt like he was standing underneath a beacon of light from the single bulb illuminating the entire closet and he couldn’t afford to wake you up now, you might smell him and you would find him disgusting until he would beg and beg that he could strip all the smell away.

Jason felt dizzy at the thought of you leaving. He had imagined many scenarios, all kinds of ways you would be gone. Tortured, kidnapped, or you simply walking out the door as he watched because you didn’t want to love him anymore.

It sickened him. A kind of bile that stuck to his throat when he tortured himself with the thought of you leaving him. He rubbed his face, feeling his calloused hands scratch against his skin as he tried to rub more of the smell away.

He could imagine the sound of your voice, screaming his name in fear or even quietly fading as you faded from his arms.

Sometimes the hallucinations felt so real, like you actually left until he found you at home. Living your life, perfectly fine.

“—on. Jason.”

He instinctively grabbed the knife from his utility belt, so quickly and efficiently that it felt like breathing for Jason.

He was still dizzy, but parts of your face were slowly focusing through his lashes, readjusting until your entire face was clear in his vision. He saw your wide eyes, opened because of the suddenness of him aiming a knife to your neck, but what made him feel even more sick to his stomach was the worried look on your face despite the survival instinct overpowering his brain.

It screamed how much you cared about him. The same man that pointed a blade at you.

He couldn’t breathe.

“Jason, it’s me. I’m right here.” You stood still. Watching the intense adrenaline rush from Jason. It had been a while since you’ve seen him escalate this badly.

“No, no. I‘m—you’re not real.” He pleaded, talking more to himself than at you.

“You’re home. You’re back home.” You tried to reach out with your words, giving him something to metaphorically grab onto.

“Please go away.”

Your heart pinched at his broken words.

“Everything is okay. I’m okay. I am right here.” You repeated.

As adamant as Jason was about stopping his hallucination, he couldn’t raise his voice. He was quietly whispering his pleas as you stood at arms length, confusing his reality and mental images. You didn’t waver to call out to him because he felt more wary of you than you did of him.

The blade he held to you was something he hadn’t done before and as frightened as you were in that moment, you stayed calm. Not for yourself, but from how much he shook and his disheveled appearance, Jason was just scared.

You continued to speak to him, giving him tender reassurances, explaining and truthfully telling him how safe he was and how he could relax from the anxiety plaguing him.

Jason’s eyes were relaxing as he listened to your voice, his muscles were loosening his grip from the blade the more in tune he felt with reality, and he suddenly felt all the exhaustion weigh on him. His knife felt so heavy. Every second he was growing more tired as he realized he was safe enough to finally let it go, so he threw it to the side.

The blade bounced to the floor, reflecting and shining the light from the closet back into the dark bedroom.

You took a deep breath watching the blade leave Jason’s hand, then you looked back to him, seeing his soaked hair stick to his face. His armor caked with dirt and blood blending into the fabric.

As much as you wanted to call Alfred, Jason was in no condition to see another person right now.

As you analyzed him, you saw, physically, how much the night had roughed him up. Jason’s hands were limp at his side, his head hung to your feet as you stepped closer to him, testing how close he was willing to let you get.

“Jay? You’re still in your armor, we need to get you out of your soaked clothes.” You gently spoke.

He said nothing to you, focusing on pacing his breaths in a way that didn’t cause him more anxiety. He kept his eyes closed.

“Do you need my help? I can help, but if you want to do it yourself—“

He grabbed one of your fingers, his frozen hand stinging your warm one that absorbed the heat from your blankets not too long ago. His large hand held onto your singular finger, feeling your smooth skin, trying to sink into the soothing feeling of physical touch.

You patiently waited, letting him go at his own pace to grasp that he was safe enough to ask for this much from you.

“I’m glad you made it home.” You spoke. Feeling Jason’s skin trace your knuckles and veins in your hand like he was memorizing and analyzing the living being he cared so much for.

As he continued his small rubs, he eased his touch to a feather light hover over your arm. Feeling up to press his thumb underneath the fabric of your shirt sleeve, mentally talking to himself about the feel of the fabric and its color.

You let him ground himself, taking note of how still you kept your body. All control was in Jason’s hands like a puppeteer over your entire self. He wanted to scream out to himself that he was selfishly touching you, but he was walking a very thin line of losing his mind any second and the feel of you was keeping him focused on something other than his racing head.

He was so tired that he grasp his hand onto your shoulder to gently pull you toward him, resting his head into your hair, smelling how familiar you were.

He thought you smelt so much better than the gunpowder and burning flesh from his body.

He rested his hand behind your back, slowly feeling up to cusp behind your neck, letting his fingers settle onto your pulse. Counting the thumps and feeling the repeated rhythm he memorized numerous times to fall asleep to.

Jason brought you in closer, matching his breaths to yours because if he felt like passing out, he reasoned to himself that it should be completely because he wanted to be one with you.

You settled your forehead onto his neck, taking a deep breath into his skin.

Jason flinched, feeling his skin tingle to your warm breath exhaling to his hair. He hummed before he was about to pull away from you, remembering his stench.

“I’m sorry, I…stink.” Jason apologized, fighting against himself to release you, but also grip you harder.

You pulled him back to you by his neck and arm, leaning his damp hair onto your head.

“You don’t need to apologize. Besides, I love your smell. I think I stink ‘cause I haven’t showered ever since I got back from work.” You lazily smiled up at Jason, appreciating that he was talking to you.

“You don’t smell.” He emphasized, whispering his sincerity into the small space between your bodies.

“I was sweating a lot today, so we can be stinky together if that’s what you’re worried about.” You comforted him, reaching up to cusp his cheeks. Soothing the redness on his face from his harsh rubs. “We can wash up together if you want to. It’s also okay if you want to do it by yourself. I’m always open to what you tell me, no matter what I’ll be right here until you let me know.”

Jason felt the ease in his shoulders, the voice in his head calming. It wasn’t completely silent, but it was a little quieter when you were speaking so gently to him.

“Can we wash up together?” He asked into your palm, rubbing his nose into your warm hand.

“Of course we can. I can get the water ready while you get out of your gear.”

“Hm.” Jason agreed into your touch.

“I won’t make the water too hot. I also got a new shampoo yesterday and I haven’t used it yet, so we can smell like eucalyptus together.” You could feel Jason’s frozen nose on your hands. “Hon, you’re freezing.”

Your worries were unanswered, leaving you to only furrow your brow at the man in front of you. Jason could only look up from your hands, clearly having nothing to say, but patiently waiting for you to give in to his tender gaze.

He knew you would give in, you always did and he wanted to use it to his advantage to not speak about his night.

He removed his gloves and you heard the slightly damp fabric being pulled from his fingers. With free hands, Jason reached out to rub off the furrowed look on your face, in attempt to cover his tired appearance.

“You’re lucky I’m going to be nice about this. I was about one call away to summoning Alfred or I would’ve drove your motorcycle all the way there if I had to.”

Jason chuckled as he kept kneading the line between your eyebrows. Listening to your stubborn worries that felt like music to his ears as much as he didn’t want to admit it.

“Threatening me now?” Jason asked. Amused, but willing to listen to your voice continuously. The way his voice teased you made your heart tingle, enough to distract you for a moment to look at the way his hair fell onto his face. His features were carved by wavy hair, elegantly placed hair strands that made you waver between frustrated and enamored, but unable to stop your heartfelt lecture.

“Maybe you can distract me, but Alfred is too experienced to even consider hesitating with you.” You tried to go move your eyebrows in defiance against Jason’s thumb, not backing down just yet. “I was about to haul you on my shoulders and dump you onto the back of your motorcycle. I didn’t go through all those lessons with you to not use it against you.“

“I knew it, you were always too excited to take it out for a drive. Can’t believe my own student was actually plotting against me all along.” Jason held onto your face, shaking his head as he traced your jaw with his fingers.

“It’s called “enthusiasm,” Jason.” You started to feel for the zippers of his jacket, moving your fingers against the leather as you slowly took it off his shoulders, carefully watching his body language to ensure you weren’t making him uncomfortable.

“Enthusiasm.” Jason repeated. In the same tone you always swooned at, hearing the familiar low roughness in his voice that was only reserved for you. A dangerous combo as he touched your face so affectionately, you could feel your face heat in the dim closet light. “I know all about enthusiasm.”

He leaned in to slightly peck your bottom lip, feeling his own lips barely touch yours. He felt how dry his lips were, but yours were soft enough to drown out his other worries and insecurities. Enough to feel the intimacy, but not enough to solidify something more.

You smiled, clearly won over by Jason’s charm. In one swoop you pulled the jacket off Jason, leaving him in his usual patrol skintight top with his emblem reflecting what little light was in the room.

You couldn’t imagine the fear that red bat symbol brought to the bad people lingering at night, realizing the bad shit they brought on themselves because that emblem was the last thing they would remember.

But you always liked what was beneath it, what it tried to protect. The part of Jason that he relentlessly tried to hide and you had the patience to slowly unveil every bit of it.

“Save that enthusiasm because we might not be able to wash up if you kiss me one more time.” You rubbed your hands into the back of his neck, feeling the tense muscles and wanting to help him relax for a bit with some warm water and rubbing some shampoo into his hair to hopefully allow him to sleep a little tonight. “Clean your gear in the morning, I wanna warm up with a shower and you can help me dry my hair.”

“Hm.” Jason agreed as he kept rubbing your lips with his thumb. You felt accomplished as you felt his hands slowly warming from your physical touch.

“I’ll get us some fresh towels. Grab the new shampoo after you remove your gear.” You released yourself from Jason and made your way to the bathroom. “It should be in the bag by the bed. I forgot to take it out.”

With some soreness, Jason removed his utility belt and picked up the thrown knife to safely secure it back in its place. He felt the weight in his eyelids as he made his way to the bathroom, hearing the water turn on.

When he pushed the door open silently, he watched the way you moved. Adjusting the heat of the water, placing freshly dried towels on the counter, and the way you were so perfectly domestic.

Jason didn’t want to disturb you, soothing himself to the sight of you after he exhausted himself from the repeated torture his mind put himself through.

When you looked back, the look you gave him almost made him melt to the tile floor. That it was unreal he was allowed this.

You pulled him into the bathroom, much like the other ways you introduced him to various simplicities he started to enjoy in his life.

He didn’t want to admit it to you, in case you would be offended, but he cherished how mundane you were. That he could feel as close to ordinary next to you. That the scars that littered him weren’t going to drive you away.

Piece by piece, clothing were removed from the two of you. It was comfortable to bare yourself, to share this intimate experience of bathing together. Washing and holding each other under warm water. Massaging and lathering soap.

The steam was filling the bathroom, slight humidity relaxing your skin and your shared scent radiating off each other.

The night was turning into dawn, but you dried each others hair. You gently laid into the bed to slowly rub at Jason’s head, easing him and yourself into another slumber.

[medullamindset]

Can you please write something about reader struggling to suck loris off I know that man has a huge dick 😭😭 whatever gender is fine I don't mind any

Sorry for the wait on this 😭 i started it the day i got the ask and then pushed it aside, remembering it every five days or so lol

BUT NOW ITS DONE, mayyybe a little halfassed cuz im eepy as shit but yayayaya!!😸

Potential content warnings(?): Reader has hair at a grippable length, MY OPINION on Loris' dick size and uuhhghhjhhhh yh thats it 👻 Loris' is sweet as candy towards R <3

Struggling to take Loris in your mouth. Ugh dude this is so real cuz like hes a BIG BOY. LIKE- hes around 200 cm's.. His hands are big, his feet are big, just shoulders are broad and his chest is HUGE, obvi his cock is proportionate for a guy his size too, like a good 7 inches and a half? (he wouldnt be RIDICULOUSLY long, shit just hurts anyway.. Unless ur like a size queen, POP OFF in that case).. And its definetly REAL girthy, like 5 diameters. (..Yes, i've thought abt it.) all heavy in your hands, like lifting weights fr

I just know he'd be so nice abt it, Loris is a fucking gent.

He'll feel you struggling on his cock, slightly choking around it, hardly taking half of him into your mouth, throat tight and unallowing.

"Oh, Honey." He coos, gazing down at you propped up between his legs where he leans against the kitchen counter. His thumb drags along your cheek, grabbing your chin and pulling you off his length for a second.

"Only take what you can, alright? You're doing so good." He mumbles in that smooth voice of his, a little gravelly where it lowers. You fumble with his dick, hands stroking all 7.5 inches up and down as you gaze at him with wet eyes. "Mhm." You hum weakly, grabbing his hand and kissing his palm before placing it in your hair for him, he runs his fingers through it with a fond smile.

you return to your quest and start suckling on his tip, licking up and down his slit whilst pulling his foreskin back with your hands. Leaning his head back with a groan, Loris bucks his hips subconciously, pushing himself a little further into your mouth. You relax this time, licking around his cock as you suck, taking more and more of him in. You come up for air every 20 seconds or so, mumbling something abt his size, gupling in air before putting your mouth on him again. To which he just chuckles, leaning his head back as his pleasure builds up.

Loris closes his eyes as he plays with your hair, fingers tangling in it as he cradles your head, urging you to keep going. He moans out when his tip rubs against the back of your throat.

You hiccup from the odd feeling and come up for air again, gasping it in as you jerk him nice n sloppy. Loris stares down at you lovestruck, eyebrows knitted together in pleasure, lips parted as he lets out hoarse pants. You rub his tip against your reddened lips, dribbling spit over it before taking it in your mouth again, tongue tracing the veins underneath. You watch the blissed out expression on Loris' face from below. One of your hands lifts up to feel his flexing stomach, scratching at his skin gently as you keep working what you can't take in your mouth with the other.

"Feel so good, Hun.." He moans out, tilting his head back. You whine around your mouthful at the praise, the sound traveling straight through Loris' ears and right to his already aching cock. He twitches in your mouth, nudging your uvula. You come up again, wiping drool from your chin sheepishly. "Fuck.." You whisper just below your breath. "I can't do it.." You whine, embarassed by your own inexperience.

"Yes you can, Honey. Just relax, okay..? When have i ever judged you?" Loris consoles, petting your head with a comforting smile.

After a few seconds of slow strokes and silent contemplation, you take him in your mouth again, breathing through your nose the best you can. You bring both hands to Loris' hips as you scoot yourself closer between his legs. Nails digging into his skin as you push forward slightly, his tip pushing further past your uvula as you lick around him. You keep at it, tracing his most prominent vein with your tongue as you move up and down his girth, your jaw getting sore much quicker than you'd like. Lucky you, Loris is extremely sensitive. So you keep going despite the slight discomfort, relaxing your throat as you push forward.

Loris' mouth gapes when he feels himself slip past your tongue and into your throat. He knew he was big, he had people who'd get up and get dressed when they couldn't take more than half of him, who'd whine about how big he was,.. And not in the good way.

Yet here you were with almost all of him in your mouth, teary eyed as you bob your head along his length. Loris gasps, eyes squeezing shut as he lets out a guttural groan. Hes so close. Your nails dig crescent moons into his hips, but he doesn't mind, the pain only adding to the pleasure. His balls tighten as he comes closer to orgasm, cock twitching in your mouth, making you hiccup a gag, you keep going though, your tongue running crazy around his shaft, throat contracting around his swollen tip. Loris nearly whines, eyes shooting open as his hips buck wildly.

A fat tear rolls down your cheek as Loris watches the fucked out expression on your face, soft gags bringing even more stimulation to his aching cock as you cry from the foreign feeling. He catches the tear with his thumb, groaning something about how pretty you look crying on his dick, a tremulous lilt to his voice as his pleasure peaks. "Ooh fuck, baby-.." He grunts, curling in on himself as his abs flex erratically. "You-" he cuts himself off with a loud, gravelly moan. His grip on your hair tightening as thick ropes of cum shoot down your throat, you're gagging and lifting yourself off Loris' cock before you even know it, stroking it messily as even more milky-white cum paints your teary face. You stick your tongue out to help draw out his orgasm, licking and kissing below the tip.

Loris' hips and cock twitch in sync, his eyes trying their hardest to focus on the sight before him. You pant heavily as he rubs his tip against your spit and cum-slicked lips, a shiver escapes his ajar mouth, blinking up at the ceiling a few times to collect himself.

He looks back down at you, his dick completely spent.

You lean back shyly, lifting up a hand to your face, collecting the cum splattered over your cheekbone on your ringfinger.. You blink, hesitating for a second, before carefully bringing it to your mouth and sucking it clean. A groan catches in Loris' throat at the sight. He notices his still grip on your hair, releasing it gently before bringing his own hand to your face, thumb dragging over the soft skin of your chin, making your lips part, transfixed by the man above you. He examines the fluid on his thumb for a moment..  Looking back up into your doe-like gaze, he brings the pad of his thumb to your lips, watching intently as your tongue pokes out to lick it clean. "So beautiful.." He mutters as you swallow, staring down at you in pure adoration. He grabs a clean dishcloth from behind him and turns back towards you, his hand wrapping around your bicep to pull you up. Once you're on your feet, he turns and wets the cloth under the tap, making sure that the water is warm beforehand.

Soft digits lift your chin up. Wiping up the mess he made, Loris turns your head side to side gently, looking for any spots that glisten in the light and swiping over them gently. A timid smile tugs at your lips, Loris mimicks it dearly, tossing the rag aside to cup your somewhat clean face with both hands. "You did so good, honey. Now,.. Hows about a shower?" He mumbles lightheartedly, low eyes drinking you in. You nod, your smaller hands wrapping around his.

Loris kisses your nose, pulling a giggle out of you, your face getting squished by his hands as you try to shy away. Before you can pull away, he presses his lips to yours, stopping you in your tracks, making the moment last juuuust a little longer <3

Hope this was readable my eyes cant focus for shit rn.. Huuurghgghhh.

I re-read "hoarse pants" so many times all i can think of is a horse with pants photoshopped over it please :(

I swear im. an artist

[burntb4bydoll]

Tom Kaulitz x inexperienced!fem!reader

Warnings: a bit of scratching, hair pulling, slight size kink, PRAISE KINK, readers lowkey bratty and a crybaby💀, very soft dom Tom🤭 like fr tho hes WHIPPED.

“Please Tom! I just wanna try. You’re so mean!” You pout, furrowing your eyebrows at Tom. He sighs and grabs your chin with his thumb and pointer finger,

“Baby, thats enough. You’re not ready yet. You have no idea what you’re doing. We gotta work up to it.” That only made you pout harder. Whining, you climb on top of him to straddle his waist. You two were already undressed because you had already been messing around before you started to throw a little tantrum. You lean down to kiss him, moving your hips to grind your body into his. Toms breath hitched as he felt your wetness spreading over his length. (Im sorry physically can not type any other word for it. They all sound so gross)

“Look, Tommy. I can make you feel good,” you sigh, “Just please let me fuck you! Ill be such a good girl!” You sit back up, inspecting his facial expressions. He grabs your hips and sits up against the headboard so that you are sitting in his lap.

“Fuck. Ok fine, but I’m gonna help you. And thats not an option. Its not gonna be easy, sweetheart. Especially for someone who has no idea what to do.” You rolled your eyes at him. What could be so difficult about it? Hes over exaggerating. Tom sees your eye roll and gently grabs you by your hair, which was so gentle that he was basically just holding you by the back of your head. “what did I say about that attitude? You wont get fucked at all if you keep it up. You know I don’t wanna do that to you, baby.” Toms voice was soft as he looked at you with pure love in his eyes. You knew he wouldn’t actually do that, you’ve got him wrapped around your finger. But you decide to play along anyways.

“Sorry, Tommy. I’ll be good, promise.” You both know thats probably a lie, but he accepts it anyways. He lifts up your hips to position himself at your entrance, watching you the whole time to make sure you were okay. You slowly sink down on him, moaning at the new feeling. You didn’t think it was possible to feel him this deep inside of you. “Tom-! Oh my god, you’re so deep!” He shushes you, moving your hair out of the way so he had access to your neck. As he trailed kisses across your jaw, you had finally got him all the way inside.

“Good job, princess. Just sit still for a minute. That was a lot, huh?” He pulls away and smiles as he plays with your hair.

“Mhm… fuck. Ive never felt like this before. It’s weird.” You moan, looking down to see the outline of his dick (💀) showing on your lower stomach. He moves his hand down to press in it, making you whine and jolt from the pressure.

“God, you are so pretty. Look at this. You can actually see how deep I go.” Tom was absolutely mesmerized. He only looked away when you started to lightly bounce on him. Groaning, he holds your hips tightly. You started moving a little faster, grabbing him by his hair to steady yourself. His nails dug into your skin, leaving crescent shapes on your hips.

“There you go. Good girl~ you’re doing such a good job.” Tom coos. Your eyes feel heavy and tears of pleasure start to form in your eyes. Toms praising always gets you so worked up. After riding him for a while your legs start to burn. After your failed attempt to continue fucking your boyfriend, you collapsed onto his shoulder.

“I wanna keep going- its just…my legs hurt. Can you help me? Please, Tom. I need you to help me..” Your words are breathy and desperate, basically crying for him. Tom silences your pleas by kissing you. While you kiss he starts to thrust up into you, moving your hips for you to match his thrusts. He moans loudly at the change of pace, feeling himself grow closer to finishing. One of his hands leaves your hip to toy with your clit, causing you to whimper and shake.

“Come on, baby. Cum with me…I wanna feel that pretty cunt cum for me.” Both of you gasp as you reach your highs, hands gripping on to each other desperately. He makes sure to continue his movements on your clit so that you could ride out your orgasm for as long as possible. “Good girl, such a good girl. You take me so well” Tom mumbles as his movements come to a stop. A silence fell over the room as you calmed down, but it was quickly ruined by your giggles

“I told you I could do it! And most of it was by myself!” You state proudly, making him laugh at you.

[httpsserene]

im back to request another x male reader hehe🤭a plot inspired by moth to a flame by the weeknd, what do ya think?

𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐟𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐰/𝐥𝐧��� & 𝐨𝐩𝟖𝟏

📖𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: lando has many regrets, the most painful one being the fact that he encouraged you to date oscar.  📖𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴: angst. beta read. emotional infidelity. implied future possible cheating? established relationship w/oscar piastri. unhappy ending. but also, open ending (sick n twisted). 📖𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 2.3k words 📖𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: lando norris & male!reader | oscar piastri x male!reader 📖𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: oneshot. 📖𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗸: moth to a flame • the weeknd & swedish house mafia

𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗮𝗰𝗲:  i HATE writing cheat*ng fics, like the idea genuinely makes me sick to my stomach–i never understood why someone would cheat when they can literally just break up 😐, it pisses me off. it’s purely greedy behavior, manipulative, and disrespectful as fuck. but honestly an emotional affair would borderline break my heart more than a physical affair—like you love somebody else more than me??? and you’re not even having sex with them, you just have more emotional intimacy with them??? i fr would shatter into pieces—ANYWAYS: wikipedia was my source for the timeline, so if doesn’t canonically make sense…it is what it is :p sorry for hurting lando, i didn’t want to 😔i think this is my first true angst fic ever? enjoy, loves !!!

thank you to @biancathecool for beta-reading this fic for me !!

want to be added to my taglist? want to submit a request? send me an ask!

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lando wishes he never invited you to the silverstone grand prix in 2022. he knows you would’ve been insulted if he didn’t; you’ve been his best friend since the two of you were in diapers, and you’ve avidly supported him during each race. so, bringing you along to his home race was a given. however, after his meeting with the team post fp1, he caught you sneaking back into his driver’s room with heart-eyes, flushed cheeks, and a new number saved in your phone. it was the first time you met oscar piastri, who at the time was a reserve driver for alpine. when lando teased you for details, you downplayed the interaction, but you also asked him if it was fine if you got to know the australian rookie. he snorted, you didn’t need his permission to associate with other drivers. 

four months later at the the circuit of the americas, you told lando you were dating oscar. 

he’s thankful that you waited until after the race to tell him because he would’ve shunted into the barriers. lando’s heard of how people struggle to get over someone they’ve dated and fell in love with—but how does he recover from getting over someone he’s never allowed himself to fall in love with? 

lando feigned happiness for you, his shocked laughter passing for joy. he ushered you to sneak into oscar’s room to “make the most of the time you had together,” while he went out to celebrate max’s pole and his p6. the brit did congratulate his friend, and then for a man who claims to not like alcohol, he proceeded to get wasted. he was a mess, enough that he had to be escorted back to the hotel by daniel and carlos—as if being babysat by one of them wasn’t embarrassing enough. he broke down, sobbing into the spaniard’s shoulder about his missed chance, and was eventually soothed to sleep by daniel awkwardly rubbing his back. 

he knew it would be difficult to pretend that he wasn’t distraught at your new relationship. he’s had you to himself his whole life; and now he has to see you love another man. when oscar joined mclaren for the 2023 season, sure, he first-handedly witnessed how well the rookie driver treated you. good morning and good night texts aren’t forgotten even with ever changing time zones,  you’re spoiled with gifts, lando catches how oscar’s phone has three alternate home screens with photos of you, oscar’s car passenger seat is adjusted to you, he has a list of things you like written in his notes app, he has your coffee order memorized. you’re wearing oscar’s mclaren merch instead of his, you stay on the australian’s side of the garage and calm his nerves instead, you game with lando half as much as you usually did and go out on dates with oscar instead, the collection of stuff that you’ve forgotten in lando’s flat decreases and he spots your stuff in oscar’s flat when he came over to hangout with you two one day. you’re rarely in your own flat, lando has to call or text you to find out what you’re doing instead of just randomly appearing like he usually does, you practically live with oscar when he’s back home, and it becomes very clear to lando that he’s your best friend, not your boyfriend. something else becomes clear to lando. while you may be infatuated with oscar, you’re still his other half. 

your phone battery may die during several hour long facetime calls with oscar, but does he know that when you sleep in your own bed, that you call lando and plug in your phone so it charges while you fall asleep to the sound of his voice?

the passcode to your phone may be oscar’s birthday, but does he know that you have lando listed as your emergency contact?

you never order any seafood dishes on dates with oscar, but does he know that’s muscle memory from years of knowing lando gags at the smell?

oscar kisses the scar you have on the knuckles of your right hand, but does he know that’s from when you broke your hand punching a group of older boys who were bullying lando after he beat them in a kart race?

does he know that lando was your first kiss?

it all comes to a head in qatar. oscar won the sprint race, lando hasn’t won anything in the five years he’s been in formula one. you were late to the party the team is throwing for oscar because you were cradling lando as he sobs into your chest. max won the grand prix, and lando was the first loser to cross the finish line; as usual.

at two in the morning, there was a knock on his hotel room door. lando knew it was you from the cadence. you were dressed for bed, clothes wrinkled, voice deep and throaty from sleep, hair mussed to one side, and pillow lines were indented on your cheek. you asked him if he wanted to talk, that you noticed he was off this whole weekend. all lando could think about is the fact that you woke up in the middle of the night, slipped out of the bed you shared with oscar, and continued to wander to lando’s room half-asleep because you were worried about him. waiting until the morning didn’t cross your mind. lando’s heart ached—he shouldn’t be in love with you, he can’t be.

he let you in anyways, how was he supposed to turn you away? you were blinking at him with sleepy eyes, swollen cheeks, pouted lips—he’s only a man. you made yourself comfortable on top of his bed, and lando stared before he shrugged and laid down next to you; this is fine, this is a completely normal thing the two of you have been doing for years. just not while you have a boyfriend, or while he’s suddenly been accepting his feelings for you.

you didn’t say a word, and kept your eyes shut (you’re used to lando, he’ll speak when he wants to or he’ll be fine with your presence next to him while he sorts out his thoughts). you almost fell asleep before lando’s torrent of words startled you into awareness. 

he was tripping over his words, his brain moving faster than his mouth. self-deprecating and over critical views fell from his lips—the way they sounded clued you into everything you already knew. the brunet had been thinking this for a while, the phrases sounding too practiced to be sudden realizations. the remaining whisper of sleep was vaporized from your mind at lando’s harsh evaluation of the weekend and his entire career. 

you rushed to sit upright and bodily forced lando to turn and face you; your hands warmly blanketed the sides of his face and applied enough pressure for his words to become unintelligible before they tapered off. he knew that you were disagreeing with his monologue from the way your brows were furrowed and how your eyes were alight with anger. the air between you vibrated with the force of your speech, and lando knew you were probably ranting about the only reason he isn’t world champion is because of his car, not his self-perceived lack of skill. 

the sharp edge of your jawline was far more interesting to brit—the length of your fanned out eyelashes, the shape of your lips shifting as they formed syllables, the strength coiled beneath the skin of your hands, the broad spread of your chest—lando’s tongue flicked out to wet his lips distractedly and the sound of your voice returned to his ears.

“…you better understand me, okay?” is all that he caught. the senior mclaren driver (how weird), hummed half-heartedly in agreement. his stare tunneled to the part of your lips, and he knew his appreciation was discovered by the audible catch of breath in your throat.

it was like all the air was sucked out of the room, a perfect vacuum created. lando hesitated, before he redirected his gaze to meet yours, and he was sure what he saw was more catastrophic than anything he could’ve imagined. your eyes were locked on his lips, as well. the brunet can’t tell how much time passed by, the two of you were busy taking turns admiring the idea of a kiss. both of you continued to stare; eyes flickering across faces, tongues wetting lips, breath quickening in anticipation, and bodies leaning closer to each other steadily. when lando felt your exhales ghost faintly over his mouth, his eyes fluttered shut and he shivered slightly, a sense of satisfaction flooded his brain; you were going to kiss him—and then he heard you gasp.

lando’s eyes flew open to see you scrambling off the bed, a horrified look painted on your face as you stared at him. 

“this never happened,” you started, running an anxious, guilt-ridden hand through your hair, “and it will never happen again.”

it felt like his world was crashing down, he was frozen in shock. you moved to rush by him and leave the room, and he finally defrosted, and caught you by the arm.

you turned around furiously, tears gathering in your eyes as you forced your arm out of his grasp, a scathing, “let go of me,” leaving your mouth.

lando’s hands were shaking, mouth wobbling as he held back his own tears, and he rambled, “you're just going to forget what happened? were never going to talk about that? you’re not going to tell oscar?”

“NO!” you screamed, “no—i won’t tell oscar. and, i don’t have to tell him anything, because nothing actually happened. it was a mistake.”

he heard his heart shatter, and he couldn’t hold his tears back anymore. lando angrily brushed them away as they fell, knowing his face was embarrassingly red with anguish, and his insides burned at the look of pity and longing mixed in your gaze. 

“so, you’re just going to pretend that you don’t have feelings for me,” lando questioned disbelievingly, “like i don’t know you better than oscar ever could? you’re just going to forget this ever happened and run back to bed with oscar, and continue to have him believe that everything is fine?”

the air was still for a minute, your shared breaths the only audible noise in the room. 

“you’re only going to hurt him more if you act like everything’s okay,” lando whispered, “he doesn’t deserve that.”

your first tear of the night fell, your arms wrapped around your torso to hold yourself, trying to find any glimpse of protection and comfort you could. “oscar’s good to me…he treats me well, perfectly, even. he’s sweet, i really like him a lot.”

“you ‘like him a lot,’” lando repeated, staring into your eyes desperately, “but, you love me.”

the flame of rage and distress reignited in your eyes, “lando—i loved you for years. and, not once have i ever tried to make a move on you because i didn’t want to ruin our friendship. i didn’t even know you liked men until almost three fucking years ago! and, you still never gave me any sign that you were romantically interested in me. you had plenty of time and chances to date me, and you only realized that you wanted me when you lost me to oscar.”

“that’s not true,” lando murmured, “i’ve always been in love with you.”

lando watched the fury falter in your expression, and saw the conflict dance in your gaze. your stare softened, and you stepped forward to hold his face in your hands. 

“i can’t do this. not to oscar—he doesn’t deserve it. i can’t break up with him.” you said in a muted tone, “we shouldn’t be together.”

the brunet whimpered, eyes watering again. his large hands came up to hold yours against his cheeks, nuzzling into the warmth of your palm. you sighed brokenly, and leaned forward to press kiss on lando’s forehead. a muffled sob vibrated through lando’s chest, and you blinked rapidly to avoid crying again. your thumb swiped under lando’s eyes, brushing away his fresh tears, and you gently swept another kiss along his cheekbone.

lando cries messily when you pull away, and can only hold himself as you leave his room without glancing backwards at him. when the door shuts, lando falls to the ground, leaning back against the bed as he sobs into his hands. he understands what you said, but he can’t help but yearn for more. his chest aches painfully, and he doesn’t know if he can give you the time you need—the distance you need.  lando will pretend to be okay, he’s good at that. he’ll let you be for as long as he can manage, but he’s reassured at the knowledge that you’re in love with him. 

eventually, the two of you won’t be able to fight the pull of what you really need—you’re moths to each other's flames.

taglist: @saintslewis@cherry2stemss@lorarriri@inloveallthetime@mindless-rock@biancathecooll@barnestaticc @my-ylenia @katekipshidze @darleneslane @lovingaphroditesworld @smoothopz

© httpsserene2023

[viking-goat-420]

Fandom; one piece

Paring: Zoro/reader

Warnings; unsafe sex, biting, choking, possoves zoro

A/N: I know this took absolutely forever! I'm really sorry it's been a rough month for me and haven't been able to do much writing. As always feedback is always welcome and my ask box is open as well.

You can see your breath as you walk beside Brook where you were freezing in this part of wano. Things had taken a turn for the worst like normal and you all were now being hunted down. You had heard Zoro was badly injured so you came with Brook to see how he was doing, you were not expecting what you found though.

"We were just sleeping!" You hear Zoro yell and peek your head inside to find Zoro laying on a mat with a beautiful woman laying beside him and you feel your heart crack. Zoro and you had been fooling around and as time went on you had thought he had felt the same you did, guess not. Biting your lip you feel eyes on you and see Zoro stare at you but you don't look him in the eye.

"I'm going back to the hut Brook" you say loudly enough for everyone to hear as tears feel your eyes. You had no right to be angry. He was not yours to clam and he could do whatever he wanted but It still hurt more than you had liked.

"Well okay, are you sure? We just got here" he says looking at you, you look at him then finally at Zoro once you pull yourself together, you would not let him see how much this hurt you.

"Yeah, I have seen all I need too and he is clearly more than fine" you say harshly, venom laced at the end making Brook look at you oddly and you heard a groan come from the hut you were standing at.

"Oi! (Y/N)! Wait!" You hear Zoro call but you ignore him and keep walking. You bite your lip harshly and hold back yours when you feel him grab your arm.

"Let go!" You snap, turning and yanking your arm free, you were pissed and hurt and wanted to be left alone. Zoro glares at you and your tone.

"What is the matter with you!?" He growls clearly not happy with your attitude but you didn't really care at that point. You ball your hands into fits wanting to punch him but you think better of it.

"Why don't you go back to her, I'm done being your plaything Zoro!" You snarl and turn away from heading back into your hut slamming the slide door behind you leaving you in a low lit room with the only light coming from the fire. You roughly rub your eyes from the tears and you felt like you wanted to scream.

"You wanna explain what you mean by that" you jump and swing around at his voice, the glim in his eye is dangerous and you almost feel like prey under his stare.

"You heard exactly what I said Zoro! I'm done with whatever the hell this is! I'm done being in love with a man who doesn't feel the same! Im-" your rant is cut off as your back hits the wall and you look up at Zoro who now towers over you and you feel your stomach drop, you knew he would never hurt you but that look excited you more than it should.

"You're not leaving me (y/n) and you're more than a play thing! Your mine" he said huskily and your mouth goes dry at his words. Zoro leans down and kisses you deeply pulling your face and body close to him and your arms are placed on his chest. You try to push him away but he is hard as stone making him growl and nip your lip and you moan.

"But your injury?" You moan as he sucks a mark into your neck. Zoro chuckles darkly before he bites leaving a mark behind that he soothes with his tongue making you cry out.

"Nothing is going to stop me from showing you that you're mine in every way" he says huskily, never breaking eye contact, your hands run up his chest to rest behind his neck where you run your nails through his hair there making him shiver.

"And you're mine?" You whisper his lips so close to yours. Zoro reaches for your hand and he places it on his chest.

"Every last part of me til I take my last breath" he says, you lean up and kiss him deeply and he growls lifting you up and you wrap your legs around him and moan at the friction. Zoro carries you over to the mat on the floor and lays you down hovering over you. Zoro undresses you leaving you bere under him.

"Zoro!" You moan your back arching as he kisses and bites down your neck. You reach up pushing his kimono open and your nails run down his chest making him growl. You lean up kissing and biting his neck leaving marks behind and he groans grinding into you.

"Who do you belong to?" He asks huskily his hot length running through your folds making you moan and you look up at him.

"You zoro I belong to you, and you belong to me" you moan and he smirks before he slowly enters you and you cling to him. You let out a moan at the stretch and burn as he bottoms out, no matter how many times you two have done this he always feels too big.

“Always so wet and tight for me” he groans as he lets you adjust. You lean up and kiss him deeply, nipping his bottom lip making him growl.

“Always for you, now fuck me zoro I need you” you moan clinging to him tightly. Zoro groans and starts to move his thrusts rocking your body making your nails claw down his back.

“Fuck your mine! All mine” he growls his hand wrapped around your throat as he pounded into you making you cry out his name.

“Oh fuck zoro! There!” You cry out as your toes curl. Zoro snarls at the sounds he was making you make and every time your nails clawed down his back he would see stars.

“Fuck! I wanna feel you cum on my cock” he growled as he pounded into you. You cling to him as the knot grows tighter, you are so close.

“Zoro please, I'm so close!” You moan your hips thrusts up taking him deeper and he groans.

“Come for me” he groans and you tighten around him as you cum hard.

“Zoro!” You cry out as you cum, Zoro hips slams into you once more before he stalls and you feel his hot cum shoot inside of you.

“God Dammit (y/n)” he pants as he leans his head down trying to catch his breath as you do the same. Zoro pulls back and grins down at you as he slowly pulls out loving the face you make every time he does. You look up at him and stroke his face softly and he leans down and kisses you deeply, stealing your breath once again.

“Never forget your mind, but I'm always here to remind you” he chuckled dark and you lean up your naked breasts rub his chest and you feel his cock twitch. You grin and flip him on his back so you were now straddling him, his hands resting on your hips as you lean down close to his ear.

“your mine Zoro don't you forget that, don't make me chain you up” you say hottiy in his ear before biting his neck.

“Promise?” He chuckles darkly and you sit up a bit.

“Don't start something we don't have time for” you smirk, climbing off him and looking for your clothes.

“Just you wait” he grins.

[emloafs]

ep by ep thoughts (ck s6ep5)

my live thoughts from watching part one of cobra kai season 6. this ep is where shit got real in my opinion. spoilers below!!!!!

Ep5:

Stop manipulating tory, kreese!!!!!! She deserves friends!!!!!!! Get out of her head!!!!!!!

Im so uncomfortable

AISHA MENTION??? HOLY SHIT HELL YEAH

Dem didn’t tell Eli he got into MIT :(((( Dads stop fighting pls 

Oh tory really needs this tournament doesn’t she

I hate the power couples going head to head im over it like genuinely I am also over Daniel and Johnny bickering but its fine

Tbh not enough Miguel storyline so far I miss my baby

MIGGY GOT DEFERRED NOOOOOOO

WHAT THHE FUCK TORYS MOM 

OH IM NOT FUCKING OKAY

Peyton lists acting just brought tears to me eyes I feel sick fuck the writers 

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck the writers

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK the writers

Im so fucking heartbroken

Peyton list’s acting is so impressive

I hope that when everyone realizes the SHIT that tory is going through they realize their petty karate bullshit is STUPID

Tory flashback has me sobbing fr

“I am your partner” actual line from Daniel to Johnny

Tory is either not showing up or she’s murdering whoever stands in her way

I am afraid she may go back to kreese because she’s hurting

Kiaz fight choreo is VERYY good

TORY NOOOO my baby

Robby need a win tbh but Miguel is crying  so what am I supposed to do with that

Oh im sick to my stomach about samtory fight

Genuinely no more notes because im speechless

This is Peytons season.

Everyone else go home. She’s acting circles around you. 

LETS GO ELI but im fucking heartbroken about tory she’s gonna end up with fuckinng kreese again

ELI LOOKING UP TO DEMETRI AND DEMETRI GIVING HIM THE COLD SHOULDER I CAN’T DO THIS I NEED THEM LIKE WATER

Like I won. dem and Eli are both going but at WHAT COST

I feel like sam and robby as captains low key are so fitting because miyagi do started with them

Those headbands are ugly… sorry someone had to say it

Miyagi fought in an international karate tournament? Are we for real? That doesn’t seem like him to meeeee

OH SHIT BARCELONA NOW???????

Demetri put away your shoulders in that slutty gi jesus fucking christ 

Robby man bun returns feels full circle

The venue is smaller than I imagined…..?

Oh shit cobra kai is back baby and they’re hot (not kreese vomit)

USA looks like a bunch of idiots just saying

OH SHIT TORY

I KNEW IT I FUCKING KNEW IT BABYGIRL IK YOURE HURTING

Cobra kai never dies

What a betrayal (that I absolutely saw coming) 

so ive actually died now and i'll be thinking about this for the next 3-5 business days (4 months until pt 2)

seriously someone hold me. i gotta rewatch this to process it all.

[lokilysolbitch]

is the problem with processed food fr just more sugar, fat, sodium, etc. like is this what people (mainly my parents bc they're semi crunchy) are fearmongering aboug. is this what they're treating as the devil. higher sodium content

i have arfid i literally need more of every food group. and i have pots so i need more sodium anyways.

like this is nowhere near straight poison like they act like it is. it just has different nutrient ratios than other foods. that's literally fine. i'll just slap a multivitamin and some frozen dragon fruit on top.

not to mention some processed foods like cereals have added nutrients. (maybe even some types of flour too but don't remember)

idk like my mom made it sound like spam was some mystery meat with floor cleaner and "dyes and chemicals" in it but i read food labels for fun and i collect spam containers. and knew there was no dye in it off the top of my head and then i literally pulled an empty can out from a few feet away and read the whole ingredient list. it's really short. it's mainly pork and chicken. protein. it's got a bit of potassium actually too. oh also there are literally no dyes in spam

then she heard the chicken was mechanically separated and made it a whole thing bc "who knows what that means" idk but i imagine it's just. separated by machine. lets google

okay so yeah ground up meat they pushed off the bone with a machine. so just meat

and she also went on about how it's like from weird parts of the chicken/pork or stuff like that but like. we as a society. eat chicken muscles regularly. so like as long as it doesn't kill me it's just chicken and pork.

and then she went on about how "have i ever seen how spam is made" like babs. have you seen ground beef. sometimes food making looks icky and i don't care because i'm older than five.

i genuinely feel like i must be missing something major because there's no way people are making a big deal out of something just being a little less nutritious and icky-looking. like. there's no way. there must be something else im missing.

like what, are there carcinogens??? there's carcinogens in over-burnt toast too but no one throws a fit about that.

anyway my only other proteins i like are either being recalled for listeria or make my stomach hurt so much it's debilitating so i've been eating spam and people keep making me feel like i'm eating slices of cement but it's just protein and salt. and a little potassium. and it doesn't make my stomach hurt. and it tastes good after just pan frying it for a little bit and adding some pepper. it's a godsend and i'm tired of that not being recognized✋

[wonysugar]

hola sugar .. so I’ve been watching the ‘im the drama’ teasers again and GISELLE’S.

funny story I have a watch that tracks your heartrate and the scene when she like argues with her roommate and pulls up her shirt I genuinely started going crazy.

my heart rate went up to ONE TWENTY. it was so bad. white tanktop black pants hair down LATINA AERI UCHINAGA SAVE ME 😭😭need her to argue with me like that fr (I would fold immediately how do u even argue w her)

the white names killed me though “do you really think I’m that stupid becky” I couldn’t keep it together. also whoever played becky fine as HELLL i couldn’t take it anymore that video is my roman empire.

this is a reoccurring pattern with me there’s this one photo of minnie (g-idle) and holy god I remember she looked so good I got a headache and my stomach started hurting I literally thought I was going to pass out. the real definition of sickening

it’s kind of loser but this is who I am.. sorry I was just reminded of this because sticky dropped today and julie doing whatever she was doing in that fountain made me lightheaded and gave me a pain in the back of my eyes and head.

i know this is random but I need to know I’m not alone..sugar please tell me you’re also this gay I can’t be alone on this

-🎞

hai 🎞️anonn!! :]

YES I COMPLETELY GET YOU. i haven’t spoken about the giselle drama teasers on here i think but GODDD.. she looks so good wearing a simple tanktop on top of a black bra,,, LET ALONE TAKING IT OFF?? like omfg manipulative gf giselle please gaslight me😭🙏🙏 that argument would end with me being on my knees in front of her i’m afraid— [NUKES]

i know you guys read me saying shit like this and sigh LISTENNN i fear if it were my turn having the watch, it would’ve registered my heart rate as a heart attack!

the fucking white names sent meescienfk idgaf i wanna be becky so bad like FUCK! i need to see her argue with more pretty women PLEEKKK

also ABOUT THE REOCCURING PATTERN?? everytime you’re on here gushing about a girl in particular you’re always calling her latina?);&2;& i fuck with it so hard like genuinely

ALSO JULIEEEEEEEEEGODKFKSKFN BITING MY HAND AS WE SPEAKKK i can’t do this anymore. WHO TAUGHT HER HOW TO SHAKE THIS MUCH ASS?? like oh girl you better move that thang… i had to grab my chest watching that fuckass mv😭😭ass everywhere i looked it was a fucking death hazard for me. AND BELLEEEE???? her hair… her BANGS. nobody talk to me actually i’m going apeshitfjdjf

you’re absolutely not alone on this girl,, you will never be😭🙏trust that if you’re losing your mind over the little things, i’m probably in the cell next to you, swinging back and forth<3

[junior-high-rui-official]

// long post ahead. less explicit angst than usual but there is cyberbullying + workaholism involved. also Rui being on his gifted kid bs.

Rui lets out an exhausted sigh. After a certain point, everything became a blur. He remembers crying to his brother, remembers breaking down in front of Nene, and beyond that, everything's a blur... entering the hospital, vitals checked, some patronizing remarks, a nurse up his ass for a while...and finally, it was dark outside, and he could be left alone.

His head hurt. His feet hurt. His legs hurt. His stomach hurt. His chest- god, his fucking chest hurt.

He was relatively sure he was administered pain meds that were supposed to kick in soon, but evidently they hadn't yet. So...

He reaches for his phone to pass the time. He toggles on just about every screen filter - this wasn't good for his eyes, he knew, but he was in the hospital with a broken rib, he had worse things to worry about than some blue light.

He opens a social media app he forgot he had, he'd downloaded it only to follow a certain account that posted robotics materials, and never deleted it.

He scrolls.

And scrolls.

And scrolls.

Mind drifting, eyes blurring out, this is just something he's doing with his hands at this point, he's not even retaining let alone looking at anything he sees-

until he happens upon a picture with a familiar face.

[Ah...that girl...]

[...yes, she's one of many that bothers me at school...]

He scrolls past the photo, but he stops.

[... I'm going to be stuck here for at least a week. In that time, my grades... Oh, and we had that big history project coming up...]

He scrolls back up, then clicks on the account. Scrolling through it, various selfies confirm this is in fact the person he thinks it is.

Several moments of hesitation, and he clicks the "message" button.

類: < hello >

[xxx]: < ??? >

[xxx]: < who tf lmao >

類: < it's kamishiro >

類: < we don't talk but you do know me >

[xxx]: < how tf did you find me on here >

[xxx]: < stalker shit tbh >

類: < i came across a selfie of yours >

類: < i have a question >

類: < more like a favor to ask? >

[xxx]: < bro what >

[xxx]: < we aren't friends im not doing shit for you >

[xxx]: < fucking weirdo >

類: < i know >

類: < you're the first person going to [school] I have contact with though >

類: < whether you know this or not i'm unsure but I've been hospitalized >

[xxx]: < LMAOAOAOAUDHDHSGXBJCHX >

[xxx]: < FOR REAL??? >

[xxx]: < why do you talk like a victorian orphan boy >

類: < i need my paper assignments for the next week or so >

[xxx]: < what the hell?? >

[xxx]: < fucking nerd >

[xxx]: < no lmao >

[xxx]: < go talk to your other fucking >

[xxx]: < weirdo friend or smth >

[xxx]: < why would you even think to message me. you're so fucking weird?? >

類: < mizuki's suspended >

類: < they wouldn't do it either way though >

類: < I know it's an unusual request to say the least >

類: < blame the impulse on the pain meds >

[xxx]: < i hope you fucking stay there fr >

[xxx]: < we definitely don't want your wackass back here >

類: < if you bring me the assignments I'll do your homework for you this week as well ? >

類: < or your friends' >

類: < the hospital isn't far from school. it's not like they're going to fact check whether we're friends or not. you'll just have to say you're delivering me something >

[xxx]: < omfg >

[xxx]: < ok fine if it gets you to quit yapping >

[xxx]: < if you fuck up that homework though I'm not gonna be pleased >

類: < i anticipate this >

類: < thank you >

[xxx]: < yw i guess >

[xxx]: < now leave me alone >

Rui does exactly that, closing the app and shutting off his phone...as he tries and fails not to internalize his classmate's unsavory remarks, he lies his head down and lets tears fall once more.

[domjaehyun]

HEHE YOU KNOWING MY VIBES🫶🏼omg us getting the behind the scenes of your writing shenanigans!! that's a crazy story ngl you're so committed to your craft, I forget how many trials and tribulations writers have to go through when dealing w technology. BACK TO SCHOOL HOW EXCITING!!! I've always loved psychology too, gimme a good "here's why we like what we like book" and I'm losing my mind. There's one it's called "survival of the prettiest" that's a psychology book about basically why we're naturally attracted to certain things/looks. You might like it it's very insightful!! Anyway I know EXACTLY what you mean by the dubcon/noncon being from the standpoint of making something enjoyable, that's like one of the most popular jav genres (like a pleasure parlor vibe). Cuz you know youre watching an actor consentually play into the push n pull but ultimately enjoy herself. Like its the men out here watching the stepsis/nanny crap while were like yea make her finish AGAIN on that massage table🥳 so real for turning it off when it becomes about the dudes pleasure, im a bit like no good for you i just dc LOL also I would give myself a name but I struggle with crippling anxiety when it comes to the online spaces (took me 3 years to ever send an ask lmaoo) so working through it by being anonymous for now... I did add a lil 🎀 so you knew twas me :)

omg this got buried actually im so sorry OKAY HERE WE GO

i do know your vibes!!!!! you have a certain writing style that just like. is pretty distinct to me!!! NO FR THAT WAS SUCH A HARD TIME. I WAS STRUGGLING SO BAD :( BUT IT'S OKAY NOW :D omg wait thats fascinating i absolutely will be looking that up ... i love that :3

RIGHT LIKE THE ACTING IS PRETTY GOOD MOST OF THE TIME (well. i only enjoy videos w good acting like . in terms of resisting) SO I CAN GET IMMERSED WITHOUT FEELING GUILTY LIKE ...as if i was actually witnessing smth heinous yknow?

im abt to say smth that is possibly so strange but . UNPOPULAR OPINION....POSSIBLY.......... i hate when they use oil or like . lube in any way where the people look like shiny and greased up LIKE IN THE MASSAGE VIDEOS I HATE WHEN THEY'RE COVERED IN OIL IT ICKS ME OUT SO BAD i think bc in my mind im like that looks so deeply uncomfy like youre slipping and sliding.... fine hairs and dust are sticking to your exposed, sticky-ish skin............... i'd just faint personally AND ALSO. THAT USUALLY MEANS THERE'S NOT AS MUCH MOUTH ACTION AS I WANNA SEE YKNOW?? if someone is slathered head to literal toe in baby oil or smth..... ur not abt to lick a stripe up their stomach unless you wanna taste baby oil...................... you feel me?

yeah im having a lot of revelations recently when it comes to men and they are fascinating to say the least. like label wise i dont think i've changed im still bi ... bc im still attracted to men....... but the real revelation.... the real kicker.... is i don't like penetration........................ like in any capacity i dont like fingers, i dont like dicks, i dont like toys— i dont like ANYTHING going inside!!!!!! we're closed for business!!!! my friend thinks its a mental block bc i'm nervous and that's why it just doesn't do anything for me and i hope that's it bc i very much would like to enjoy it at some point, yknow?

oh come to think of it it's def mental for me bc one time i was w this guy and he was having a hard time like . entering me LMAO he was big firstly so i was NERVOUS I DIDNT WANT IT TO HURT so i was like completely tensed and he was like "baby you have to let me in" and i was like oh.. didnt know i was stopping you.. turns out i was clenching myself closed DJLFGSKDKL I DID THAT AT THE GYNO ONCE TOO AND SHE WAS LIKE UNTIL YOU RELAX I CANT EXAMINE YOU.... like sorry girlypop yo tengo miedo :/

anyway sorry for rambling hehe but OMG RLY :') WELL IM HAPPY YOU'RE DOING IT FINALLY :D I ENJOY YOUR MESSAGES :D and jsyk there wouldnt be pressure to like . message constantly i wouldnt put any pressure at all! it wouldve just been a lil way to let me know who i'm talking to if i can't immediately tell :P but no worries!! totally up to you 💖 if you want a name at any point just let me know :D

HAVE A GREAT DAY LOVELY!!!

[princess-pill-enjoyer]

I didn't think I'd really need to come back here after everything. It's so stupid. My dad has given me my own weed and it is way stronger than the pills. So many different ways it affects me. But I've been mostly sober since the attempt that started all this. Ig partially out of respect.. I feel like it wouldn't be fair to my parents if I continue my junkie ways after they had to listen to me scream and yell about how I felt trapped and then when things open up, boom still doing it

I dunno if that makes sense tbh.. lemme know ik I suck at explaining things correctly.

Anyway I've been sober 99% of the time since. I kinda don't like smoking as much now. It made my teeth hurt and I hallucinate when I get high. It's nothing crazy no where near as vivid the dph hallucinations get ofc. Tho it still scares me so bad. It can range anywhere to a few small & constant noises that makes everything hard to hear unless I'm focusing to hallucinations that put me in a state of delusion. I get so scared about ts I can't move. 9 times out of 10 I get this weird feeling someone or something is there and if I make a sound they'll come up to me. Those are the worst feeling ones dude I know there's no reason for me to assume anything is there but I just stiff up and cry as quietly as I can until I can work up the courage to check if they're "still there"

I used to do that when I was coming down from benadryl actually. I'd be too forgetful to be scared of anything like that mid high but all hell broke once it was wearing off

It makes me so annoyed. It makes me wonder if that's something I'll just have to deal with from here on or should I just stay sober from here on and hope for the best. It all makes me miss the pills so fucking bad. I was taking those for so long and it just felt like I knew pretty much anyway they'd effect me atp. It was straightforward

Dph made my heartbeat harder -> also made my heart sore when I'm not on it

The pills dehydrated me -> annnd if I took it too far, I'd go acidic and jaundice (which im ngl happened way more often than I wanted to admit.. when I tried to od again in December I was quite literally neon!)

Taking so many at once making my stomach have to dissolve anywhere from four to high twenties worth of pills at a time -> which led my stomach to get irritated and eager to get that shit out and made various issues there

But now? What. I don't even have anyway to measure so it's just a thing of.. o guess it kicked in, ig I can't hear rn. Oop dang ig I got too high now I physically have to focus on not freaking out over something that is not fucking happening. Oh what ig these stupid fucking edibles make my head hurt instead of making me high. Fun!!

I'm so over this shit. Im trying so hard to stay away. I didn't like dph after a while. You can scroll back and see so many things I hated about it. And yet I think about it every single day. I miss it so much. I used to be able to take a few pills and then poof blank out for a little while. As long as I took care after the fact, I'd be mostly fine. But now I have to deal with the unpredictability of my own mind or whatever nonsense I have to feel when I smoke/eat edibles

R has been really bumpy for me too. I don't know why like.. I've really been happy about our friendship lately. I feel like seeing how fucked up I had to be to my parents to make them listen gave me a new appreciation for her. I haven't blown up at her in a while but omfg I've done it a lot throughout our time together. Tho, she's still here for me. Nothing really changed. And I love her for that. I'm really just a random person online fr. At any point she could just decide she's fed up with me and ghost. But she endured my nonsense and still pushed me to look at things different. I never know how to bring that up without sounding like it's a romantic thing

Which has been eating at me so bad as of late. I don't know what th I feel towards her. If im still in love I wouldn't be shocked but it feels different from how I felt before the whole blowup a lil bit after she broke up with her ex. She's my safe space but she is also kinda fucked up to me sometimes. But I really can't help myself. I still worry about her all the time, I genuinely try to know everything and anything going on with her wherever possible, and I let so much go unspoken not blowing up and trying to keep her perspective in mind where I can.. I want her to not have to worry sm I hate that my presence has become a double edged sword. I love her so much it's become overbearing and hard to hide. I know it makes her feel pressure to hide stuff to keep up appearances/impressions. Shit sucks. It makes me feel like I'm in a parent's position atp..

Tho all that being said I feel like she still interprets my actions as some elaborate way to make her like me. Or me tryna be nice so that she falls in love with me. Some shit. And ik that sounds so paranoid and baseless but its been a pattern atp.

Everytime I get cheery and tryna treat her like ya know, my best friend, its like she takes that shit diff and mentions her ex as a way to tell me to back off. And I don't get it. Like no dummy I'm not excitedly talking about shit to lure you in YOU ARE MY FRIEND. MY CLOSESTTT. I know that she won't judge me for me and since she knows me so well, I rarely have to give too much of a backstory to talk about anything. It's nice. And I guess I abuse that privilege a lot. Maybe I should be better about not running to her about everything. But then like me being concerned and interested about what she's up to makes her do it as well. She briefly got with someone else (they've already broken up she ain't getting a codename 🥴) and I noticed her using her for that purpose too for a bit. Well. Before she got annoyed with her existence lolol

But yeah anyway like.. has that pattern already been there and I haven't noticed? Am I overthinking this action too hard and twisting it? It's frustrating me so bad cause I don't get why she interprets it like that. Am I just so oblivious I don't see how obviously in love I am and she's tryna push me out of that...? Or is she being self destructive and can't view my love as anything but manipulation.

Confessing to her has become one of my biggest regrets. It changed so much I hate myself for believing I was in lala land. Stupid fucking girl. All I could see was how much I liked talking wth her and it just slipped out. I didn't realize just how many fucking consequences it'd bring after the fact. I feel like im constantly dancing around shit. I wish I never said anything. Im so tired of having to study my every action to make sure I don't seem too eager to speak. I forget it happened some days but it feels like that's all she sees me as. I don't understand what to do atp. I don't want to lose her, we are completely ride or die aside from this. But my GOD I CANT TAKE IT. I feel like it's become such a giant elephant and it's going to rift everything once it's brought up. I don't want to piss her off and lose her for good

Between her and my ex.. I lowkey think I'm done with the whole romance thing this feeling is the absolute worst. Any time I express that myself in that way I come out of it feeling so stupid. It stings so much worse this time around. Least with my ex even though the shit only lasted a few months IT HAPPENED. I feel crazy feeling this exact same stupid feeling with someone I haven't even dated before. And for me to feel WORSE.. HOW?? I've avoided dating specifically so I wouldn't feel this way and then I stumbled and did the shit AGAIN! Let myself fall into even deeper feelings with someone that didn't even like me. Again. And I'm stinging worse than I ever was before. Crazy. I hope I never like anyone again.

I've been feeling blank as of late. Even with my family life improving and my health improving I still feel empty. The same I did before. It feels like now I'm performing a different role, but still feel the same. It felt so good to have everything in the open and finally dropping dph for good (probably) originally. But I really feel no better now that the dust has settled. Everything just shifted some

I try to be more open and honest about myself and what I feel but the central issues I don't know how to express. It feels unfair to air that shit out to R, my family or any of my friends since I know I won't believe them. It's so easy to say the right thing. So easy to assure me you love me. You care. But do you mean it? Or are you saying it because that's what you're "expected" to say and do? I dont trust a word out any of their mouths when it comes to shit like that. Looking at their unconscious actions and how and what they say feels like the most honest view of their thoughts. And a whole lot of that made me feel the way I feel. What's words going to fix when I can physically SEEE AND HEAR all the shit proving otherwise replaying in my head? Why listen to you try to cover your own ass when the evidence is already there? We both see the cards on the table. There's no point trying to sway me into looking at them different.

But I feel bad not being able to shake that sense. I know part of my thinking is irrational. It's fucked up I can't listen and change my view. It's like theyre speaking to a brick wall. It's almost like they can never fuck up since I can't let ts go once I've noticed it. I try to keep myself together because of that. I hate the grandiose acting I have to do to get through the day

I won't lie. I really sit there and wish I would've died that day. It's like ever since that last time ever since I got all my ducks in a row and decided I'm okay with no taking part in life, it suddenly made everything feel tedioussss. It gets on my nerves so bad I've been so angry. I wish I would've just kept my mouth shut and let things finally crumble down on its own so I could be left to pop pills til I either got it right and ended myself or guzzle em until I fucked myself up so bad I'd die without my intervention 💀💀

None of this seems to be worth it and I'm kinda over it. I made my decision. It fucking sucks that I'm still being forced along this stupid junk when I already decided it was all worthless. I wish I could hide away and just stop participating in society. Never talk again. Never play another game. Never spend a single cent. Just total isolation. I wish all the games I play were single player so no one would think to chat with me while we're playing. I wish the world was filled with robots so that I could go in and out of a store without thinking bout if the employees are thinking I'm stealing or wondering if anyone thinks I look as cool as I think I look

I wish it were just a lil bubble just for me. Go into a store, grab what I want, walk out. Dress up anywhere and take 10000 pictures that no one'll see. But idc cause i look so prettyyy and I like seeing myself in all my cute lil outfits. Eat what I want and how weirdly I want without people looking at me crazy. I swear it's all doable but it all feels like I'd have to completely ignore the outside world for me to be happy. Even shit like having to say good morning to my parents or thank you to someone holding the door open for me pisses me off. When I'm not in the mood for speaking, I aint in the mood for any and all speaking no matter how small. And lately uh it's been all I feeling

I don't know why I don't feel the motivation to try to kill myself again. Ig I don't even care enough to atp. I've been so over it now. I've been feeling kinda apathetic to everything to a degree. Not that it hasn't been nice to have clarity on everything. But I don't care to fix any of it anymore. I was done that day i tried to kill myself you know? Being here still didn't really change anything in my perspective. If I had a button right in front of me that'd instantly end me 100% guaranteed I'd put on a nice lil outfit then push that shit with a swiftness

I'd be shocked if don't end up relapsing atp. I'm tired of thinking

[emloafs]

ep by ep thoughts (ck s6ep4)

THIS ONE IS MY FAVORITE EPISODE (iykyk). i haven't recovered from it. spoilers below!!!!!!!

EP4

You’re telling me the episode opens with hawks ugly ass American flag hair? Shut the hell up. and no one comments on it????

NO WORDS JUST THE SHOT FOCUSING IN ON DEMETRI OVER ELI’S SHOULDER LOOKING LONGINGLY LETS REPLAY THAT

“Each and every one of you has a shot” as its a shot of Anthonyy (Anthony does not have a shot xo)

“Its really only that 6th spot that’s up for grabs” “yeah and its yours for the taking” ELI BELIEVES IN HIM SM STOP

Sorry to say I eat my words the fab 4 will not all be making it, and neither will hawk, you can just tell from how overconfident they are

It is the way that my entire body is reacting to having average, every day content of binary bfs at school and its ruined by Eli’s FUGLY HAIR and HORRIBLE OUTFITS 

I do appreciate that demetri is still demetri and he’s like there’s an 18% chance of me making it and I know that so it is what it is academics over karate has always been my thing

“MIT cannot turn down the binary bros” OH NO MITS GONNA TURN DOWN THE BINARY BROS

I think Eli is having second thoughts about MIT or he thinks he won’t get in 

I love them being normal in high school!!!!!!!!! Cancel the karate half of the show I don’t need it

THE BABIES BEING FRIENDS THE BABIES BEING FRIENDS ANTHONY DEVON KENNY BROT3 AHHH

Idk how ep4 is gonna go down but it’s my favorite already 

The camera work is fire

Okay kiaz cartwheel… go off? Ig?

NATE YELLING FUCK???? IM DYING

“Mucles” “I HAVE A NEW NICKNAME!!!” This is Mitch’s season fr

Actually rooting so hard for demetri <3 call me biased

Kisses for baby Anthony throw him a bone

Anthony is SO TALL NOW?

“The power couples and hawk” honestly that’s the best way to describe them let’s coin that

Devon better be picked fr actually she needs a win and she’s better than most of them

NOT YASMIN SHOWING UP IN A MINI SKIRT WTF

Not me imagining Yasmine walking into the dojo and she just finds dem and Eli making out

Omg are they breaking up

“I’ve come as far as I can go, and I can live with that” that’s right dem and you’ve done great

“Youre breaking up with me?” “No!” Damn. So close.

Why does his girlfriend have to be the motivation ugh

“Just like MIT, you’re not going to Barcelona without me” LOVING MY HAWKMETRI CRUMBS THEYRE IN LOVE

“I didn’t apply” MMY JAW IS ON THE FLOOR GENUINELY

Eli doesn’t want to let dem down :((( 

Oh shit he’s gonna tell him and demetri is gonna be betrayed and kick his ass low key

I personally love capture the flag <3

Omg eli’s literally not gonna make it his head is in the clouds about college and demetri brother get it togetherrrrr 

If Anthony makes it to the tournament and not Eli im suing 

I am scared of barnes

Ok power couples saw that coming

JUSTICE FOR ELI IM GONNA THROW UP

Daniel is a bloody nose Anthony will be fine

Angsty Anthony idek what do with you

Oh god Johnny and barnes fight in a warehouse with power tools WHY just WHY

Oh I don’t like when demetri and Eli fight I hate this game 

Eli won’t hurt dem again and if they come to a head, and frankly demetri is going to destroy him

ELI NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO TELL HIM OH I WANT TO CRY

DAD AND DAD STOP FIGHTING I CAN’T TAKE IT I SAID I WANTED THE DRAMA BUT I WAS WRONGGGGG GO BACK TO BEING BACKGROUND CHARACTERS STOP THE VIOLENCE oh god im UNPACKING this scene later

Hawk buddy you’re fucked. Demetri is going to kill you. Honestly. I’ll start picking the flowers for your funeral.

Eli’s outfit sucks in this btw I need to speak to wardrobe

OH SHIT DEM FOLLOWED ELI THEY’RE FUCKED

No way… Kenny has the runs… this his sabotage.  That sucks literally that’s gross and embarrassing. You’re all dead to him.

IM SICK TO MY STOMACH ABOUT DEM AND ELI 

I JUST GASPED

I DON’T LIKE DARK DEM

HOLDING HAWKS ARM???? “How do you like it?!” IM GONNA THROW UP 

Eli loves him so much it hurts and dem is so mad at him 

I ACTUALLY AM SHITTING MY PANTS THAT DEM WON

IM CONFLICTED im really proud of my baby but dear god am I worried about Eli

Thank you writers for not making dm a background character <3

KARATE DADS CRUMBS: Anthony comforting hawk after he lost <33333 he’s like I hate when my dads fight fr

Devon obv put the laxatives in his water right… OH YUP it is now confirmed 

I like really actually cannot believe the hawkmetri fight…………… like……….. holy fuck did that just happen? The arm thing?????? Holy fuck

Why does it feel like they just broke up

Someone hold me.

(I enjoy the pain, though. Episode 4 IS my favorite.)

[wychive]

𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙨𝙩𝙨 — 𝙟. 𝙮𝙝.

pairing(s) // yunho x reader

genre // smut, fluff, soft sex basically,, non-idol!au, s/o!au

author’s note // this is my first time doing a bullet ‘oneshot’. i apologize if it’s too long! this oneshot is based off one of my friends’, @felymoon  ‘s, dream. i tried to make this gender fluid- so i hope you enjoy this as much as i did writing it <3

taglist will be in the replies!!

it's been a week?? since you both got married

after two years of dating, he finally proposed to you on that fine sunday twilight

you still cant believe that you got married to this?? perfect handsome soft puppy of a human

you're just baffled at the fact that the best boy is yours, forever

for your honeymoon, the tall boy decided to bring you to the city of love

as soon as he surprised you with the ticket, you were just like,,, omfg bless God for an amazing man for the 28239032932nd time

the both of you stayed at some fancy hotel near the eiffel tower

after entering the room, you both laughed at the rose petals on and around the bed

you guys decided to go to disneyland and rode on some fun yet terrifying rides!

he ofc took many pictures of you

most of them were candids of you laughing, which made him fall in love all over again

that night, you both decided to just chill and watch some cheesy romantic movies

it wasn't long before it turned into a cringe and make out session

*sees the male lead flirting with the love interest in a vvv disgusting way*

"gross. that was you on our first date."

"don't think so, y/n. as i recall you were the one who looked up 'top 10 pick-up lines”

when i wasn't looking"after one (1) movie, you both decided to just rest and chill for the rest of the night

or so you thought

yunho flipped you over and decided to give you a small tickle fest

you bursted into giggles which made him go all -////////-

he stopped and just stared lovingly at you, kinda just going damn.. this is my wife?? this fr my baby? oh we going heart eyes 24/7

"you finally calmed down and placed your hand on his chin, grasing your thumb on his bottom lip

not long after, he kissed you. the last kiss you shared wasn't even an hour ago, but this treat made you hungry for more

you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him down to deepen the kiss you both shared

he slipped his tongue in which earned a slight moan from you

you both grew hot by the second, wanting to strip everything you had on, off

being the gentleman he is, he paused his actions, asking if it was okay to proceed

you never had sex before as you were scared that you might regret your first time by having it with someone who wouldn’t matter in five years time

but this was yunho, the person you promised to spend your lifetime with

alas, you gave a nod. you were read

he kissed your cheek and whispered a "it'll be okay." in your ear before he went to give pecks and small licks onto your neck

your husband could feel you getting wet as his knee was pressed onto your underwear

good thing you were wearing a bathrobe

purple marks appeared on your collarbone as yunho's hands untied the knot that was shielding yourself from his touch

when he opened up the white cloth, he sat up and admired your body figure

you could see a red blush appear on his face when he bit his bottom lip

the lover before him could never be more perfect

you let your cheek lay on the pillows, embarrassed at the way he looked at you. you bit on one of your fingers

after what felt like an eternity, yunho bent down once more

he took your hand, pinning you down against the mattress

his left hand was placed on your chin and turned your head to face him

the hunger you had deep inside didn't want him to hold back, and he knew that

you smashed your lips together with him tasting the sweet cherry soda that you drank earlier

you felt like you were in heaven your hands touched his soft skin, feeling his chiseled body

this was the point where you were thankful that he slept topless

one of his hands intertwined with yours, gripping them tight

the other, grazing your body little by little, feeling your outline

after stopping the second kissing session, he chuckled at your red plump lips

he began to move downwards to your wet core

a pink tint glowed on your cheeks as you gripped his hair

yunho planted purple flowers on your skin, some hyacinths and gladiolus’

the sounds that came out of your mouth were simple yet lewd enough to turn him on even more

he made it to your clothed area

ngl, the smell of lust almost drove him wild

he slowly pulled the thin underwear off, kissing the insides of your thighs while doing so

your husband hurriedly took out a condom from the side table

you closed your eyes, not wanting to get all flustered again

"babe,," 

you heard his comforting voice, followed by slight laughter

"you can open your eyes now"

the voice was coming from above you, clearly as he had the protective rubber on already

you flutter your eyes open and immediately looked below and saw him lined up at your hole

you knew he was packing but?? excuse tf

"hey, promise me something"

“if it hurts, just tell me, i'll stop immediately"

you were taken back at his words. he really was the best person ever

you nodded, getting ready for the pain

before he pushed it in, he laced yours and his fingers once more, gripping them tighter than ever

he began to insert it slowly, keeping in mind that this was your first

you bent your neck backwards, and kept you head on the pillow

you manage to get the word 'continue' out, before letting out a small whimper

he finally pushed all the way through and bit his bottom lip, trying not to let out a loud moan

your walls clenched around him, which could make him cum right then and there

"you okay, y/n?"

"y-yea,, im fine, yunho"

he pulled it back out, almost all the way

before thrusting into you, hitting your g-spot

"f-fuck,"

your eye capsules filled with tears

it was painful, but the good kind

yunho saw this and became worried but suddenly

you moved on your own, wanting to feel more of him

he began to be filled with lust and began to thrust in and out of you at a good speed

lewd sounds came out of your mouth, as messy groans came out of his

you tried to cover your mouth from letting out too much noise but nonetheless some of them slipped out

he kissed you

the kiss was full of passion, lust and love

you returned the kiss, of course, which muffled some of the sound

you couldn't take in everything that was happening rn

you were having sex, with your husband, jeong yunho, in paris

you couldn't have dreamt for a better setting

a tight feeling in your lower abdomen caught you off guard

you arched your back, letting yourself feel the whole of his length

he knew what was happening and started thrusting into you at full speed, hitting your g-spot so well

you took one of the pillows beside you and covered your face with it, letting out a full-hearted moan as you came

yunho pulled his shaft out of you and took off the condom in the process

he stroked himself until he came onto your stomach, as you were laying there, breathless and sticky

your mind went into a haze, still trying to process everything

the love of your life immediately rushed to get a wet towel

he wiped off his aftermath on your stomach, making sure it was clean

yunho removed the pillow on your head and gave a small peck on your forehead

"you did so well, baby. i'm so proud of you."

once he came back from washing the white cloth, you were already sleeping

he smiled softly before crawling into bed with you

he laid beside you

and wrapped his hands around your bare torso

before falling asleep, next to his lifelong lover.

[a-kendricks]

walls/jake&anna/chatzy

Who: Jake Gyllenhaal and Anna Kendrick 

What: After Jake and Anna catch up, she calls him wasted and one thing leads to another. The two talk about what couldve of been between them. 

Where: Anna’s home in California 

When: July 14th, 2019 

Trigger Warnings: slight nsfw just in case? lol 

@jakegyllnhls

Anna: The previous conversation Anna had with Jake almost broke her. She knew this day was coming, but she never knew when. It wasn't right for her to keep that from him, but Anna was terrified of it becoming a reality and when it wasn't she was crushed but relieved. After all these years, Jake admitted that he was in love with her and Anna didn't know what to feel or how to react to that. A million thoughts were running through her mind right now and all she felt like doing was getting wasted, and that's exactly what she did. Grabbing three beers from her fridge, it didn't take much for the tiny actress to get bombed. Anna downed the first two, and as she was almost done with her third one, Anna picked up her phone and dialed the one number she shouldn't of. Hoping he didn't pick up, Anna heard someone say hello and the actress slurred her words "I.." Stopping herself, Anna took a sip of her beer and pushed her hair out of her face "I liked Nora. I mean, when the stick didn't turn positive I was relieved but I was kind of dissapointed. If I was pregnant and if it was a girl, I would've liked Nora." She said into the phone,  sounding plastered.

Jake: After the conversation with Anna, Jake didn't really know what to think. Everything they'd talked about was going through his head. He couldn't believe she'd kept the pregnancy scare from him. If he'd known, he'd have been there, he'd have helped her but now she was telling him after all these years felt like a massive blow. It wasn't like he had room to talk anyway. He'd hid that he was in love with her for so long. Everything about the conversation just hurt. He sighed, getting up from his couch and heading over to grab a bottle of beer to try and help calm himself but his attention was caught when his phone rang. "Hello..." he said curiously as he finally grabbed a beer, resting it on the counter. Then he heard the voice he didn't know if he wanted to hear at that moment. "Anna? ...what are you talking about?" His heart dropped as he heard her talk about the scare again, a sigh passing his lips. "You can't call me up and say this shit to me right now. You sound wasted."

Anna: She didn’t know how to feel. All of this was too much, and maybe getting wasted wasn’t the best idea but Anna needed to do something to numb the pain. She wanted him and missed him and needed him, especially now and Anna couldnt tell him that, now yet anyway. As he answered the phone and heard his voice, Anna took another sip of her beer and then walked to the fridge to grab another. Sighing, Anna continued with “I thought Nora sounded good with Gyllenhaal.” She was wasted, and Anna let out a frustrated groan when he had called her out on it “I’m not fucking wasted! I’m fine” Anna rolled her eyes

Jake: This was killing Jake. Everything about it. For so long they’d both kept things from each other and now it was out there and he wasn’t sure how to deal with it. Normally, he’d close himself off and act like it didn’t bother him but he couldn’t with this. This was far too serious for him to blow off. Hearing her say the name she’d have wanted for their kid felt like a stab to his heart. “Don’t, Anna. Please,” he spoke quietly as if that was going to hide how much this was hurting him right now. “Don’t say that to me. You can’t say that to me. It’s not fair.” He huffed, rolling his eyes while he played around with the label on his bottle of beer just as a minor distraction. “You are fucking wasted. What’re you calling me for anyway? You could’ve called any other single person you know but of course it had to be me.” Was he a little annoyed? Sure but he knew that she was upset just like he was so he couldn’t blame her. “How much have you drank?”

Anna: Anna didn’t know how to feel. If she was being honest with herself, she felt numb. But she also felt confused and pissed off and upset. All different kind of emotions and Anna didnt feel like dealing with it. This was too much and Anna just wasnt in the mood. “I’m just saying.” Anna said quietly, finishing her third beer and then took the cap off of the fourth one after putting her third on the kitchen table. “I’m not fucking wasted. Because I fucking miss you and you cant just fucking tell me you were in love with me and then not...” Stopping herself, Anna felt herself getting choked up and she drummed her fingers on the island and took a breath “I’m on my fourth beer.” Anna said “Can you just.. can you...” Shaking her head, Anna laughed “You seriously couldn’t have told me back then that you were in love with me?”

Jake: “Well, just don’t.” Jake said, frustration laced in his voice. Not because he was mad at her but because he just didn’t know how to handle this. It was a lot. More than he was was he supposed to deal with the fact that she’d been in love with him too and was almost pregnant with his kid. He couldn’t stop thinking about what could’ve been. “You are fucking wasted. Stop being stubborn.” His heart almost leapt out of his chest when she said she missed him. He missed her too even if he didn’t want to admit that out loud at that moment. “And you can’t fucking tell me you thought you were pregnant with my kid just like that either. You should’ve told me then but you didn’t and... whatever.” He was almost tempted to end the conversation right then and there but he couldn’t. Anyone else it would’ve been easy but not Anna. “Fuck, Anna. Why did you have to call me?” He sounded almost defeated. Ignoring her last comment, he decided he’d had enough of talking about this over the phone. “I’m coming over. Don’t argue it just unlock the damn door so I can come in and don’t drink anything else.”

Anna: Anna let him talk. There was nothing else for her to say, she had a million thoughts running through her mind but Anna couldnt think of them right now. There was no point in fighting with him because if she fought with him then she would’ve wanted to get more drunk. When he called her stubborn, Anna bit her lips and smiled softly to herself. “I know. Im sorry.” Anna whispered, keeping this too herself and getting wasted wasnt helping. “Because I wanted to hear your voice.” Anna said, taking another sip of her beer but then took a breath and pushed her hair out of her face “Jake..” Was all she could say before she ended the phone call. Still in her pajamas from this morning, Anna took another sip of her beer ignoring Jake.

Jake: As he was about to say something, the line went dead. Confused, he pulled his phone away from his ear to look at it. She’d hung up on him. It wasn’t really a surprise but that wasn’t stopping him from doing what he said. He REALLY was going to go over to her place. He had to. This wasn’t how this was going to end - there was no way. So, he grabbed his keys and headed out without question. Maybe going over wasn’t the best idea. They hadn’t seen each other in a while and with everything that was out there now it would probably end up with them arguing, doing something they shouldn’t or her just completely ignoring him. Whatever the consequence, he had to see her. His heart was pounding against his chest as he pulled up outside her place. Part of him was screaming at him to go back home but he fought it, stepping out of the car and to her front door. After a deep breath in and out to collect himself, he knocked on the door. “Anna. Open the door. Please.”

Anna: She didn’t know why she hung up on him but she did. All Anna wanted to do was cry and yell but that would be childish, but the women didnt care. He was coming over and Anna looked like he’ll, she felt embarrassed and sick to her stomach. Sitting on the couch with her knees pulled up to her chest, Anna held on tight and the brunette took another sip of her beer. Getting lost within her thoughts, Ann jumped a little when she heard the knock on the door. Hearing his voice, Anna took a breath and closed her eyes, feeling tears fall down her face. Clearing her throat, Anna got up and opened the door “I don’t know why you’re here Jake. I’m fine.” Anna said, rolling her eyes and folding her arms across her chest.

Jake joined the chat 3 hours ago

Jake: He really wished this was a situation he could run from and just forget ever happened but he couldn’t. It was Anna and with everything they’d talked about, walking away from it would be too hard for him. As hard as it would be they needed to talk face to face. Jake stood there, hands stuffed into his jeans pocket. After a few minutes, he heard the door open and came face to face with her for the first time in a while. He knew he’d missed her but seeing her made it hit him like a ton of bricks. He really, really wished it’d have been under different circumstances. “Oh yeah, totally fine. Fine people always call their ex up drunk as fuck,” he said, sarcastically. It was silent for a few minutes, Jake not daring to make eye contact with her. This was so out of his comfort zone but he has to try. He wanted to. “Can I come in or are you going to make me stay out here so we can be like a cliche romance movie.”

Anna: As soon as she saw him, Anna took a breath and looked him up and down. He had not changed one bit and Anna was still very attracted to him, but who wouldnt be? Chewing on her lips, Annas arms were still folded against her chest and the women just let him talk again. This was way too hard and the actress wished she didnt have to deal with this but she did at some point and today was that day. “You’re an asshole.” Anna said, shaking her head and then motioned for him to come in “Ive been traveling and working so the place is a mess.” Anna slurred, her eyes red and fired from crying

jake: Seeing her stood in front of him brought back all the memories from when they were together. And, now knowing that they’d both been in love with each other and were idiots who never told each other, it hurt so much more. He could tell she’d been crying and he really wanted to hug her and tell her it’d be okay but he didn’t know if he should. “Yeah, I know,” he shrugged, stepping inside her place and closing the door behind him. “I don’t care. I care about you and why you’re here getting so drunk that you call me up. I know you probably don’t want me here and you’d rather just get drunk and be miserable by yourself but I’m sorry. I can’t let you do that.”

Anna: All she saw was what could of been. What her son or daughter could’ve looked like if she was pregnant that whole week she was late. This was killing her and keeping this whole thing to herself and not talking about it, Anna felt like an idiot and wished she had talked to Aubrey about it more. She wished she had just told him, Anna swallows the lump in her throat and chewed the inside of her cheeks “I shouldn’t even have my phone. I was about to call Ben but I didnt.” Anna said, walking further into her home. There were boxes with Bens name on it and Anna took a breath “He’s picking up his stuff next week. Haven’t had a chance to send his things to him.” She laughed but and took another sip of her beer looking at him “Why? I’ll be 34 Jake, I can do whatever I want.” Anna said snippy, and shook her head while rolling her eyes “I just don’t get why you’re here since you probably hate me right now.”

jake: He was really trying his best not to think about the fact that if they’d have still been together and she really had been pregnant and told him that they’d probably be a big happy family right now. That was too much for him to handle. A family was something Jake wanted so badly but anytime he tried it just didn’t work out for him. It was something he’d pretty much given up on by now. He really wished he’d have told her how he’d felt back then. Maybe things would’ve been different. He couldn’t change it, though. All he could do was focus on now and at least try and deal with their situation right now. “No shit you shouldn’t have your phone.” He followed her, eyeing the boxes with a frown. It was never good to have your exes stuff laying around. “Don’t give me that attitude, Anna. It’s not just my fault that you’re feeling how you are right now. I feel the exact same way but I’m not drinking my feelings away.” He stopped for a second to look at her and shake his head. “Hate you? You’re insane. I don’t hate you. I’m… upset with you but I don’t hate you. I could never.”

Anna: She didnt even tell her mom, and right now all Anna needed and wanted was to talk to her mom. But her mom was someone who wanted grandchildren and marriage from and for her daughter but Anna was cut out for it. She loved Jake, she was so in love with him and if she would’ve told him back then then Annas whole life couldve been something different. It was bothering her so much, this whole thing was bothering her and maybe she shouldve still kept it to herself but Anna didnt realize how hard it was going to be to deal with this. “If Aubrey or Rebel we’re here then they would’ve taken my phone but they’re not.” Anna said taking a breath and pushing her hair out of her face, the actress finished her beer and placed it on her coffee table next to the other ones “I’m sorry that I’m fucking not as strong as you are Jake. I’m sorry that I fucking turn to alcohol when things get rough for me.” Throwing her hands up in the air in defense, Anna sat down on the couch and looked at him “Can we just.. can we talk about something else other than this? Other than us?” Anna said quickly, wanting so badly to change the subject “I’m.. I don’t know how to deal with this.” Anna said, she got up and walked closer to him “I don’t want to deal with this.”

Jake: Relationships never worked out for Jake. Whether it be him or the other person, he never seemed to be able to hold one down. It was like whenever he did start to get to the point of settling down, he self destructed just like he had with Anna. He’d sabotaged that by not telling her how he’d felt. If he had then they wouldn’t be here both hurt and having this conversation. Being with Anna had been one of the best relationships he’d ever had - it was one he thought about a lot. “Just because I look like I’m okay doesn’t mean I am,” he sighed, running a hand through his probably already messy hair and glanced at her. “This is fucking killing me. I’ve been sat miserable all night trying not to think about it because anytime I do my heart just hurts. You don’t think that I wanted to get drunk and try to forget about it because I did but then you called.” He couldn’t bring himself to look at her anymore, shaking his head. “I don’t know what to do.” He felt so broken. So helpless. There wasn’t anything he could do to sort this out for either of them. “Okay,” he nodded his head, fully aware that they were pretty much only inches apart. “Then let’s not deal with it."

Anna: She couldn't believe that this was happening. Going through a brake up is one thing, but now going through this? Anna was so tired, she was mentally tied and now she just wanted to be left alone. But Jake was here, standing in her home, like he's done many times before and the actress felt her eyes fill with water. She was not in the mood to cry, especially not in front of Jake. "Then yell at me. Call me names, do something! Me keeping this from you.., I.. what the hell was I fucking thinking? I didn't realize it would hurt /this/ much after finally telling you." Anna watched as he ran his hands through his hair, and there was a time when she played with his shaved head while being on and off of set. "I'm sorry I called. I'm sorry. No one else aside from Aubrey knows, but I didn't want to talk to her about it. My mom doesn't even know." Anna said, letting out a bitter laugh but she looked at him and swallowed hard "I'd offer you a beer, but you yelled at me before for drinking so.. help yourself if you want too or not." It's bothering her, it's bothering her that he can't even look at her an Anna moved in closer to him than she was before "I don't know what to do either, other than get wasted." Anna's words were still slurring, but they were starting to clear up a bit. She wanted to be close to him, she wanted him to hold her in his arms and feel his lips pressed against hers but Anna knew that now wasn't the time "But we have too. I.., I have too. I mean, I pushed it back for so many years but it's always been there. The thought of us.., of us having a baby.." Those words were hard to come out of Anna's mouth, but they did and Anna took her hands, lacing her fingers with his. Holding them up, Anna looked at him "I'm sorry that I fucked up, and I'm sorry that I hurt you." Anna whispered, and pressed her forehead against his but took a deep breath and pulled back, still holding his hands.

Jake: He didn’t want her to cry. That was the last thing he wanted especially if it was over him. She deserved to smile and be happy but that just wasn’t possible for either of them right now. They had to get past this first. It wasn’t gonna be easy but at least in some fucked up way they had each other. “No,” he said with a firm shake of his head. “I’m not going to yell at you or call you names or anything. As much as I’m hurt and upset with you right now, I could never bring myself to.” His voice was soft, an ever so present frown on his face now. “I.. I’m glad you told me, though. It sucks but I’m glad you didn’t keep it from me forever.” Jake couldn’t help let the tiniest of laughs when she said that he’d yelled at her for drink. “Yeah, I did but that’s only because I didn’t want you to do anything stupid. I mean, calling me was pretty stupid but I’m kind of glad you did,” he admitted. It was true. As much as he wished she hadn’t, it had given him an excuse to go over and see her and as hard as that was, being there in front of her and seeing her again was something he’d wanted for a while. Being so close to her again was almost intoxicating. He wasn’t sure if he could handle it before he caved and said something stupid. “I’m sorry that I hurt you, too.” His voice was barely a whisper and when she took his hands, Jake met her eyes for a small second before closing them the moment their foreheads touched. He let out a breath when she pulled back, opening his eyes again and before he could stop himself his next words tumbled out of his mouth and he said the stupid thing he was trying to avoid. “I really wanna kiss you right now.”

Anna: She probably looked horrible, and still being in her pajamas wasn't helping. He became more attractive and Anna was starting to realize how /much/ she missed the sex and right now, not getting laid for a while wasn't helping either. Having him here, having him in her rom and being close to her was helping though. It was helping in so many ways possible. "Jake please.., just call me a bitch or something because me not telling you was so fucked up." Anna whispered, and then looked at him "The minute we started talking again, it killed me that I was still keeping it a secret from you and I thought you had to know." She continued and then smiled softly as he laughed a little "I'm glad I called you too. I always do something stupid when I'm drunk." The brunette laughed, and then bit her lips "You should know that by now." Clearing her throat, Anna wanted to move in closer. She wanted to feel his body pressed against hers. She wanted him, she wanted him so badly. "You didn't hurt me." She whispered one more time, and then watched as she pulled away from him. His beautiful eyes on hers, Anna bit her lips and smiled a little. "I really wanna kiss you right now too." Anna leaned in, she pressed her lips softly against his and left them there for a few moments. Finally pulling back, Anna shook her head "I.." Not knowing what to say, she pushed her hair behind her ears and let go of Jake's hands, now folding her arms across her chest.

Jake: Even if she was drunk and still in her pyjamas, he still thought she was one of the most beautiful girls he’d ever seen. She’d just gotten more attractive through the years. Being here with her so close to him made him miss every single thing about her. “I’m never going to call you a name or be mean to you. I can’t.” The thought of even yelling at her about it hadn’t crossed his mind. Well, maybe for slight second but it had passed. “At least it was a sort of good stupid this time,” it was one of the first times that night a small smile played on his face. A genuine one. “I should’ve told you how I felt back then and not now. I’m sorry, Anna. I’m really sorry.” The second her lips were on his, he felt all the feelings he’d pushed away trying to rise right back up to the surface. Before he could really register it, she’s pulled away. He blinked, trying to figure out something to say in his head but he was coming up blank. Instead, he took a step closer to her again, bringing one of his hands to gently rest on her cheek before he leaned in and kissed her again. He didn’t care if she pushed him away and he knew that even the smallest of kisses was just going to make everything worse but he didn’t care. He’d missed it so much.

Anna: Anna was drunk, but she was sobering up and all Anna wanted to do was sleep, she was exhausted. However, Jake was here and she didnt want to rush him out. He came all this way to check on her, and she loved that. “I’ll have to thank your parents for that then.” Anna said, laughing a little even though she probably didn’t make any sense. “It was a good stupid. If I had called Ben then that would’ve been a bad stupid.” Anna said jokingly, but was being half serious. She didn’t even know where her phone was at the moment and that was a good thing too. Seeing his smile, Ann bit her lips and suddenly got turned on. When she has first met him for work, for their movie, his smile was one of the things that attracted her to him. “Baby it’s okay.” She whispered, then realized she called him the one nickname she missed calling him. Taking a breath, she got nervous for a second and pushed her hair out of her face. Watching him try to realize what had just happened, Anna let him come in closer to her and held his hand in hers as he rested it on her cheek. As he kisses her back, Anna knew she should probably step away but didn’t. If anything, she stepped closer to the couch and Anna laid down, pulling him on top of her “I miss you.” Anna whispered, and kissed him deeply

Jake: “Yeah. Please don’t call Ben... ever.” Was he a little jealous that she’d almost had with Ben what he’d wanted with her? Maybe but he wasn’t bitter about it. She’d moved on and he had, too. Of course they were going to try and start lives with other people. Seeing her bite her lip was driving him crazy whether she knew it or not. It was always one of his weakness. His heart leapt a bit when he heard her call him baby. He’d missed that. Other people he’d dated had called him it but it never sounded as good as it did when it came out of her mouth. Jake knew he should stop, he knew that kissing her was probably a bad idea but he just wanted to revel in the feeling of being so close to her again. Her lips on his, her hands on him - it felt like heaven. As she pulled him on the couch, he used one arm to hold himself up while the other rested on her hip, hitching up the top she was wearing a small bit. “I miss you too,” he mumbled against her lips, refusing to stop kissing her just yet. “So much.” It had turned from a gentle kiss into something much more desperate. Their bodies pressed against each other, lips moving together quickly as if they were trying to make up for missed time.

Anna: When Jake told her not to call Ben ever, sober or not, Anna sensed the jealousy in his voice and she smiled a bit. Sure she and Ben had just broken up a few months ago, and it was still hard but she couldn't even think about that right now. Anna felt so nervous for calling him baby, the word poured out of her mouth before she could even stop and Anna knew she probably fucked up again. With her hands holding his face, she smiled and laughed a little within the kiss and Anna pressed her forehead against his again, taking a breath. The touch of his hands on her hips, Anna got chills all up and down her body. She needed him and wanted him, Anna moaned a little and bit his lip softly for a few moments while kissing him "I want you.." She whispered "So badly.." Anna sat up for a second, not even stopping but took off her shirt and threw it onto the floor, she did the same with Jake's and Anna looked at him "Hi.." Was all she could say quietly, and kissed him deeply.

Jake: The last thing Jake had had in mind when he’d came over was to be making out with her on her couch but here they were. It was wrong and they both knew it but finding the self control to stop and actually register that in their brains was proving difficult. How could he think straight with her lips on his and his body pressed against hers? Everything up there was foggy and all he could think about was how he didn’t want this to stop. Hearing her moan was like music to his hears, fighting back one of his own. He could feel himself getting more and more turned on by the second. She’d always had that effect on him. “I want you too,” he spoke softly watching her as she pulled her shirt off then his too. A smile was on his face as he looked at her, taking in every single detail. She was still as beautiful as ever. It didn’t take long for the kiss to grow heated again, Jake’s hands exploring whatever parts of her body he could reach. “I want this so bad,” he murmured against her lips as he bucked his hips up against hers for even just the tiniest relief of friction.

Anna: When they were finished, Anna and Jake had moved from her couch into her bedroom. As they were laying there, she was cuddling with him, her naked body pressed up against his. She was always so small compared to him, and Anna loved that about their relaitonship. Her face was buried into his chest, and Anna looked up at him, running her fingers through his hair "You are right, by the way, that the sex is incredible." Anna laughed a little, and kissed him softly "I'm.., I missed this so much and I missed you and I'm just.. I'm really, really, really glad I called you tonight." Anna said quietly, looking into his beautiful ocean eyes. She took a breath, and swallowed hard "You know what scares me the most? Ben.., he begged me to marry him and he begged me to have kids with him but I wouldn't. If.., if you would've done that back then.., even though I was scared as hell then I would've in a heartbeat." Anna kissed him once more, and felt her eyes slowly closing but she opened them "I'm.., I only thought about names as soon as I called you too, by the way. It wasn't like I had that name in my head this whole time." Anna swallowed hard again, and then moved in closer to feel his touch "What did.., what did America say when you told her you were in love with me?" Anna questioned, she was genially curious.

Jake: As they laid their in their post sex haze, Jake had his arm around her, lightly brushing his fingers along her arm as he listened to her talk with a soft smile on his face. Really, he didn’t expect the night ending like this but he wasn’t complaining. He was just going to sit in their happy little bubble for a minute before it burst and they were brought back to reality. “Still amazing after all this time,” he grinned, pressing another quick kiss to her lips after she had. “I missed you too. I didn’t think I realized how much until I saw you,” he admitted. As much as he wanted to chip in with some comment about Ben, now wasn’t the time and he just let her talk. A sad smile formed on his face at what could’ve been. They really could’ve been happily married with kids by now if they hadn’t been so stupid. “I... uh, I wanted to marry Reese. Like, that was the first time I’d ever wanted that with anyone and she didn’t want that. Not with me anyway and that killed me. I never thought I’d find anyone that would make me want that again then we met and... I was just drawn to you straight away. You made me want to settle down. I... I would’ve married you.” He sighed, bringing her forehead to rest against his with his hand cupping her cheek. “Anna Gyllenhaal would’ve had a really nice ring to it.” Jake pressed his lips against hers in a slow, gentle kiss before pulling away. He thought back to when he’d told America - how she’d scolded him for telling her and not Anna. “She told me to tell you. Basically told me I was an idiot and that we were perfect for each other. I should’ve listened to her.”

Anna: While he's brushing his fingers against his arms, Anna's body was covered in chills and the brunette closed her eyes again. She could stay in this position with him forever, and Anna would've of minded it. "Remember the first night we slept together?" Anna questioned, smiling while thinking back on that time. The women loved every minute she spent with Jake, and all the memories were coming back now. When he kissed her back once more, Anna left her lips on his for a few moments and just listened to him talk "I really am sorry, that I.. kept the scare from you. I wanted to tell you but I was just.., I was scared." Anna whispered, and then looked up at him when she heard him mention Reese's name. "We really did fuck up, didn't we? I never saw myself settling down or having kids, that wasn't until I saw you with Ramona and Gloria and I just.. I fell in love with you more and more. It scared me, but I would've wanted it." Anna bit her lips again, and pushed her hair back, planting soft kisses on Jake's chest. When he brought her forehead to rest agains his, and when he cupped her cheek, Anna smiled and laughed a little "It would've. My mom would've been over the moon if you had asked me to marry you." She laughed again, and then closed her eyes as he kissed her slowly and gently, moaning again. "Natalie said the same thing. That we were perfect for one another, do you think Mike knew that we were fooling around off set? Cause Natalie figured it out, and then I guess you told America." Anna said, and then looked at him "Can you stay the night, please?" Anna questioned, more liked begged quietly and kissed him once more on the lips. She missed his lips on hers.

Jake: “How could I forget?” He smiled as he thought back to their first time together. It hadn’t been perfect but it was definitely something he would never forget. All of his time with Anna was something that he cherished. He would never, ever forget one bit of it. All the dates, all the nights they’d stay up talking about nothing - it felt so fresh in his mind while he was laying there with her. This would be another one of those memories he wasn’t going to forget. “Hey, it’s okay,” he smiled at her, speaking with that soft voice he often found himself using around her. “I get it. We both kept things from each other. It still sucks but… it’s okay.” And, it was. Sure, it was going to play on his mind for a few days but he wasn’t angry. It was just something he had to work through to be completely okay with and he’d do that in his own time. “God, I was so in love with you. It was terrifying. I would’ve had everything with you if I wasn’t so fucked up when it comes to relationship shit.” Jake sighed, wrapping his arms around her to pull her as close to him as he could. He couldn’t get enough of having her this close to him again. “Probably. I don’t think we were very good at hiding it,” he laughed and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Yeah, I’ll stay.” Usually, he would’ve probably bailed if it was anyone else but there was no way he was leaving her. “You need to sleep.”

Anna: Their first night together was everything and more. Sure, she got a feeling of what their first time would be like just from working and filming with him and she was so happy that it was almost perfect. She wished so badly that she didnt screw everything up, she wished so badly that she had just told him the truth but they couldnt turn back the time. “It’s not though Jake, you had a right to know. That.., that wouldve been your baby to. I honestly don’t know if I would’ve told you if I was actually pregnant.” Anna finally admitted not only to herself but to him, Anna let out a breath and just listened to him talk. She was still confused as to why he wasn’t fighting with her but maybe it was a good thing. “I wouldve done everything with you too. I hate so much how screwed this up.” As he pulls her closer to him, Anna took another breath and contained to place soft kisses on his chest “I don’t think we were good at it either. I mean the amount of times David yelled cut during that one scene, where you wake up and pull me in close.” Anna laughed a little and then bit her lips, but then closed her eyes for a few minutes as his lips were on her forehead. When he told her he would say, the words were coming out of her mouth before she could stop “I dont... I dont think I ever stopped loving you.” Anna whispered and looked at him “I.. I was in love with Ben but.. youve always been there in the back of my mind. I never stopped..” Anna whispered, and then looked down now feeling embarrassed

Jake: Laying there with her made him miss everything they’d had. It had been so good. There wasn’t a single second of it that Jake hadn’t loved. Being with Anna had been everything to him back then. If they hadn’t been so dumb, if they’d have just told each other the things they’d been hiding then it wouldn’t be like this. They would’ve been happy together but it hadn’t worked out like that. That was the harsh reality of it. “I... just, maybe it’s not okay but there’s nothing I can say to change it. You did what you did and I did what I did and that’s it,” he shrugged his shoulders slightly. “Do we have to keep talking about it? I just wanna enjoy this moment with you before we both get brought back down to earth.” Maybe he should’ve been angry with her. Maybe he should’ve yelled at her and told her how sad and upset he was that she’d kept it from it but it’d be pointless. It’d take so much energy and Jake wasn’t the type of person to lose his temper like that anyway. He got annoyed a lot but never full on mad. Jake closed his eyes as he felt her lips on his skin. A content smile etched on his face as he listened to her talk and the smallest of chuckles passing his lips. “I’m surprised we didn’t get called out on it. It’s hard to be so secretive when you’re as crazy about someone as I were you.” As he heard Anna’s confession, his eyes shot open and all of a sudden his heart was beating fast against his chest. This would usually be the part where he’d freak out and not say anything - just completely brush off the fact that she’d said she never stopped loving him but he couldn’t. It was silent for a few minutes until Jake finally spoke up with his voice barely above a whisper as he admitted “I don’t think I ever stopped loving you either.” It was hard for him to admit but if she could say it then he could too.

Anna: He had made her the happiest, even though the two were hiding their relationship, Jake had made Anna the happiest and right now she felt happy. Sure, things were shitty with them during this situation but laying in bed with him, Anna felt happy and she felt safe. Anna wanted to figure out how to fix all of this, she wanted to figure out how to almost erase the pain and just start over with him, but maybe not wasn't the time. Letting him talk, Anna laid there and listened to him, she took a breath and sighed. "No. We don't.., we don't have to talk about it anymore." Anna whispered, and felt herself get choked up. To be honest, Anna was kind of hoping they would talk about it in a way, but there was no point and she wasn't going to force him. "I want to enjoy this moment with you too, I lo--" Stopping herself, Anna closed her eyes and shook her head. Pressing her lips to hers, hoping he didn't catch up to what she was about to say, Anna looked at him, watching him get lost within his thoughts. "I miss that set. End Of Watch was probably one of my favorite sets to be on, plus having Natalie and America with me was always a plus." Anna said, smiling she looked at him and took a breath. She shouldn't of said anything, he was quiet for a few moments and that was never a good sign. Getting frustrated with herself, Anna ran her fingers through his hair and looked at him when he opened his mouth "So what.., what does this mean?" Anna questioned, she was probably ruining this by talking to much, but all of this was killing her and confusing her.

Jake: No matter what this was always going to be something they’d never be able to forget but maybe in some weird twist of fate it would be the thing to bring them back together. Jake could see himself with Anna again but they had to be on the same page for that to happen. There was still that lingering fear there of being with someone so seriously again. He didn’t say anything instead he just laid there and listened to her talk. He had managed to catch on to what she almost might have said but he didn’t want to bring it up in case he was wrong and she was about to say something completely different. “I…” Jake started but stopped trying to think of the right thing to say. The sensible thing. He met her eyes with his and the whole thing became real again. He knew this was a question they were going to have to face after everything that had happened and was said but it didn’t prepare him any less. “I think there’s some things we have to work through. I just… I care about you a lot and so badly wish we could just say ‘fuck it let’s try again’ but it’d just be a train wreck until we’ve dealt with everything. We both need time to figure out if this is something we’d both really want, you know? It doesn’t mean the feelings aren’t there it just means we need time to be back on good terms first. I know we just had sex and this has been great,” he smiled at her but turned serious again. “But there’s still a lot of processing to do.”

Anna: It's not that she didn't trust him, that wasn't the reason why she never told him. Of course she trusted him, but back then Anna was terrified of this whole relationship becoming real. It was her first realtionship since her brake up with Edgar, and even though she thought she loved Edgar, in all reality Anna didn't. Since meeting Jake, Anna has always been in love with him and the women kind of wished this would bring them back together. As he didn't say anything, Anna knew she probably just screwed this whole thing up again and the actress took a breath and chewed on her lips, she was nervous for some reason. The moment he opened his mouth, Anna swallowed hard and cleared her throat but then looked at him, she licked her lips "You're right. I want to say fuck it and let's try again, but I.., Jake I never really talked to Aubrey about me being possibly pregnant. I mean she knew, but never really talked about it. So I think, I have to work through with the thought that I almost could've been a mom." Anna said, she felt a lump form in her throat and Anna nodded "I.., I do want this. I want this with you again, I'm just.. I don't want to fuck up like I did the last time." Kissing his lips softly, Anna pressed her forehead against his "I.., I love you and I just.., I care about you too. It's not that I didn't trust you, that's not why I didn't tell you. You're right though, that there's a lot of processing to do.." Anna said, she kissed him once more and Anna held his face, starring into his ocean eyes and Anna took a breath.

Jake: Back then if they’d have been having a conversation like this about their feelings, he probably would have ran hours ago but he’d done a lot of growing in the time that they’d been apart. He was still scared of being with someone and the whole reality of being in love but he was an adult - almost forty years old and he couldn’t run forever. His commitment issues were something he really needed to work on and he knew that. “I still have to process the fact that there might have been a possibility that I could’ve been a dad,” he frowned. It still stung knowing that she’d never told him. It was gonna take time for him to be okay with that fully. “We have to work on ourselves before we can be with each other again.” He nodded. For some reason, he was nervous - he felt on edge and that was due to the fact they were talking about feeling and relationships but when she kissed him, he felt calm even for a few seconds. He sighed, letting their foreheads touch while he cupped her cheek with one of his hands. Hearing her say she loved him sent a fury of panic through him but he shook it off. Why couldn’t he just be normal when it came to this kind of stuff? “I....” He started, finding it hard to admit it out loud because then it would be real and he couldn’t take it back. “I... love you too.” His voice was a whisper but it was loud enough for her to hear. “Let’s just... work on getting back to a good place before we give this a shot again if that’s what we decide to do. Maybe you’ll meet some other guy before we work this out properly and then I’ll have to punch him in the face but still,” he joked, trying to lighten the mood for even a second. “We’ll work through our shit, work on being good with each other and see what happens. Maybe it’ll lead us back to each other again.”

Anna: Anna knew how hard this was for him she just wished she understood a little more on why he was so scared but Anna didn’t want to bother him about it or make him talk about it. “I know baby. You.. you would’ve been an amazing dad to our kid. I.. I told you I was relieved but I was disappointed too.” Anna signed, she knew she hurt him badly just by hiding the fact that he didnt know she was almost pregnant and it bugged her so much she kept it to herself. “I know, I.. Ive been working on myself. I dont know if it’s helping or not.” She felt that he was a little off, but after they kissed Anna laid there with him for a few moments. What an idiot, she thought. The moment those three words escaped her lips, Anna knew she fucked up again. When it took him a while to answer her back, Annas face turned red and she could feel tears in her eyes “No I.., I thought Ben was the one. I thought he was it for me but I.., I think.., I think it’s you.” Anna said quietly, her eyes were filled with water but she wasn’t crying. “I hope so.” Anna said quietly, and learned in to kiss him softly “What.. what would you have done if I was pregnant?” She needed to ask, she needed to know. Anna looked at him, rubbing her right hand on his cheek and Anna kissed him softly

Jake: Jake really did love love. He thought it was beautiful especially if you had the real thing but he’d seen people around him give their everything only to be hurt. He’d even gone through it himself so the idea of giving himself to someone so completely again scared him. But, this was Anna. This was someone he trusted and did love her. He would just have to try and get over having difficulty saying it. If they were to make this work ever again he didn’t want him to ruin it because of that. “You would’ve been a great mom. It just....obviously wasn’t our time.” He heard her sigh and sent a comforting smile her way. He didn’t want her to feel bad about it. “I just want you to be happy by yourself before you’re happy with me.” He leaned over to press a gentle kiss against her lips. “I’m sorry that it’s so hard for me to admit things to you. I wish it wasn’t but just know that when I do say things, I really mean them. I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t. I love you, Anna. Even if you drive me absolutely insane sometimes.” Hopefully that would put her at ease a little bit. He wanted her to know that what he was saying was real and he did mean it even if it came out forced. It wasn’t her, it was him as cliche as that sounded. At her question, Jake met her eyes and without a beat he answered almost instantly. “I would’ve asked you to marry me without a doubt.”

Anna: She was in love twice, once with Edgar and once with Ben but clearly those relationships didn't work out for her own fucked up reasons. Anna however, did fall in love with Jake while they were together and it pissed her off so much that she didn't say it to him those many years again. She wanted to try this with him again, if Anna was being completely honest with herself, Anna wanted to re-try their relationship. "Thank you." Was all Anna could say, the women never cared for kids and the fact that she had a scare just freaked her out, and the thought of her becoming of mom did to. Seeing him smile, Anna bit her lips and pressed her forehead against his, their naked bodies still pressed up against one another. Anna didn't want this moment to be over, she wanted to stay here for a while. "I.., I am happy Jake. I'm.., still working on myself and I'll probably be working on myself for the rest of my life." Anna admitted, and then looked at him as he leaned in to press a kiss against her lips. She smiled within the kiss, and rubbed her thumb over his cheeks "I know babe, I love you too. I'm.., I wish I would've said it when we were together. I'm saying it now though because I.., I never stopped falling in love with you." Anna swallowed hard and got all choked up, kissing his cheek, Anna got lost within her thoughts for a few moments before remembering she had asked him an important question, and Anna felt tears falling down her cheeks "Jake..." She said all choked up, and then looked at him all choked up. Anna loved him.

*FINISHED

[changji]

Here we go I’m finally continuing our convo from like,, last week LOL but anyway 4-5k for an apartment I’m HOLLERING (yes i did it so you’d laugh) I’ve never lived in an apartment before but I’m pretty sure that’s really expensive for one sksks. Also personal chromebooks? My school literally can’t relate we share them with the rest of the students in the school. Tbh I don’t remember much from twilight so I’ll agree w you so that we don’t fight 🥺🥺

I normally go ham when I’m in a pool,, like I’ll start off w my hair up bc I don’t wanna get it wet but when I leave the pool everywhere is soaked. I haven’t played chicken in years?? Oml last time I played I was on my cousins shoulders and I was Puny. Haha most ppl are like “it can’t be that cold here right” and I’m “oh no it gets COLD” which I hate (but it’s colder in the territories so I’m thankful for where I’m at)

I’d rather it be hotter than colder bc at least there’s ac. I mean there’s heat but at least I can still walk outside without snow and ice everywhere. Don’t even get me started on freezing rain and winter tires and shovelling snow and OEUFIHD as you can see I hate the winter here. Tim hortons is so good I literally inhale iced capps 24/7. They’re pretty much blended frozen coffee but it tastes a lot better than it sounds!! I like to think of it as the Canadian pride and joy

I’ve actually never had timmies canned coffee… i’ve had the keurig pods things but they don’t taste as good as getting them from an actual timmies. But hey you never know maybe we will drink from ice bergs one day LOL. I’ll never back out from being your soulmate we’re literally meant To Be 😤😤 iced blonde vanilla lattes are so Good I’d probably inhale them as much as I do with iced capps if they weren’t so expensive

I didn’t even know that milk was a good portion of the drink,, when I saw a starbucks barista fill my cup with 80% milk I was like “hold up what” Your smoothies must be really good if your family specifically wake you up so that you can make them some hhh baker arella? More like smoothie expert arella. i usually make smoothies with whatever works and is in my fridge, but mango will always have my heart

People who eat pancakes plain should be banned from the world that’s disgusting,, you’re literally eating cooked flour,,,,,, I actually haven’t had waffles in 4 years oopsFrench is a mandatory course in grade 9 where I live but then after that you can choose if you wanna continue it or not. ASL classes seem so cool, I would totally take it if it were an option here. German & Japanese seem so hard; I look at the words and here ppl speaking it and I’m like ??? woah okay what’s happening

I’m terrible at English too, but then again I suck at every language? Is that even possible?? Jisung’s literally talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular skskdkf I am a Chan stan but Jisung wrecks me SO hard I can’t with this man. Pls don’t hurt my head too much with the fic I only have one braincell left bit ilyt 🥺 now I wanna try peet’s but I’m probably not going to the US for a hot minute 😔😔

(AJSDHJF I HIT THE LIMIT OF ASKS IM CRYINF) I saw what happened with ur Jisung drawing and I feel your frustration?? I was drawing a photo for an English presentation on photoshop and instead of closing my reference photo tab I closed the drawing (and i didn’t save it beforehand) so I lost the entire thing. Just thinking about it again makes me So Mad like,, how dumb can I be I literally can’t believe I did that!!

School sucks the life outta me I’m dreading going back and school starts in a little over a month? Fav vampire fic PLS I’m honoured. We fr out here as coffee soulmates look at us go 🤧👊

-

it’s so expensive like. whomst. I LOVE IT WHEN PPL SAY HOLLERING ITS SO FUNNY (ur so cute ily). living in an apartment is just Constant Stress esp bc i always accidentally slam a door open and make a hole in the wall and we have to pay but like i never learn LOL. the chrome books suck tho 😪 i would never fight w u LOL but i love twilight hhhh

today i just learned what “go ham” means like. i never knew. idk if i’m uncultured or ur weird (BUT ACCORDING TO CHAN WEIRS IS GOOD AND HES RIGHT.) i hate swimming sksks i burn easily and im Not here for it. i see why u would prefer the heat esp w snow, but i don’t have snow so i like winter LOL. i feel like i would die if i had to shovel snow like. i tried gardening and i gave up in .2 seconds. it was tough.

ooh an ice capp is like a frappuccino? i used to love them but they became too sweet. i believe in lattes and lattes only. keurig never tastes as good as the OG, i’ve had starbucks, dunkins, and peet’s keurig cups but it’ll never live up 😪 u r my soulmate and i snatched u, u can’t leave even if u wanted. period. LATTES ARE EXPENSIVE like. i pay $6.70 or smth like that bc of the vanilla flavoring and the extra shots. makes me wanna yeet myself off a bridge but there aren’t lattes in hell.

RIGHT omg the first time i saw them make it i was like. where r u giving me a cup of MILK but it tastes good so it’s okay. my stomach has not been cooperating and hurts whenever i get normal milk so i have to ask for almond and pay an extra 25 cents. like damn i $7 for a cup of coffee. but it’s okay it’s still good 🤧

& SMOOTHIE MASTER ARELLA HHHH my family is also Lazy like. it’s not hard to make a smoothie u FOOLS but i mean ig. they’ll just be hoes and force me to make them 😤 but it’s fine bc when i make the smoothies i’m let off of washing dishes 🤪

if u eat a pancake plain ur wrong on so many levels. it’s so painful to see. like. WHY. and cooked flour,,,, ada ur so funny omg waffles are so good like. it’s crispy but pancakes get soggy and it’s Gross. not here for it

i suck @ all languages too like grammar who? i only know keyboard smashes and incoherent screams. jisung is amazing and i love him w my whole soul. he’s such a good wrecker like whY are u so perfect?? i was bin biased but jisung came and made me double biased 🤧 i’m unloyal.

i don’t believe in no brain cells i believe in broken hearts and that’s what this fic is going for. angst angst and angst. i’ll send u peet’s and u send me tim hortons i look forward to gross and melted coffee 🤪

WLSKKSSK TUMBLR RLY OUT HERE UR SO CUTE AHHH i screamed for a good 5 minutes. i’m still upset. like. why did i do this to myself arella u big dumb. omg and did u save urself for the presentation? it’s worse for u bc like. it’s for school 😔 we can be dumb hoes together it’s okay

OVER A MONTH WHEN DO U START i have 2 weeks and a half. 3 weeks? i start on a thursday which is weird but Go Off. i’m gonna drop a class i’m not up for 7 classes esp w an AP and 3 honors 🤧 why did i take those classes i’m actually an idiot hhhhh

i stan ada and ada only (jk binsung but yk what they don’t count) stan TALENT my coffee soulmate ily

[jenanddomo]

1.13.23

im so exhausted ,,.,.,.,.,, like i just wan sleep forevaaaaaaaaaa . but i cant , my stomach has bad feelings, like a bunch lol. also i found out y i dont like smoking:pp i keep forgetting but i remember, it cause it hurts throat so bad n i get so slowww, time was goinnnn slowwww. i wan a penguin so badddddddddddddddd like they rrrr so cute ngl .

also theirs this dude at school fr giving me ojo or a fan bc we keep makin eye contact n it so awkward like tf i do last time i just smiled at him bc i didnt WAn mAke an ugly face , he kind of cute but nar i dont wan nobody rn. im fine with being alone ish, also hate vday💔💔💔💔

i wan a damn hellokitty vday gift but ikkkk i wont get any🥲🥲🥲🥲

i like to play piggy bc it funn n it helps me distract me from the world tbh . like my life already fallin apart but piggy be the only reason y im still alive

jk

nar my cats r

nnnn omggg

we haveeee puppiess i guess stray dog tommy gave birthj buttt theyyyy r sooo funny loooking jfycdudnu fb frun

THEY LOOK FUNNY