#my stepdad Isn't the worst person but im not sold on him either. he's always been good to my adopted sisters tho
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all's fair (war and peace)
kisses on cheeks and necks and collarbones and fingers / hands on necks pushing me to my best and on my arm pulling me away from the battle and on my face shielding me from my true self / your mouth bruised and bit and divided and conquered while your hands granted me temporary hope and a fucked up nostalgic dissonance from the real world / practice what you preach, i used to tell you / the difference between your preaching and practice never really existed as a discernable distance, but rather a manifestation of fatal hubris staining the cracks of your mantras / love is war and fair, and peace is unrequited and unattainable / the caverns of your love were too enormous for me too even begin to explore the subtleties of it / the vines of my preconceived notions must have wrapped around your throat as you choked out your repeated stories about gratefulness and being sated with the minimum i was given so that i'd never dare hope for more / when you vanished into the humid mist of the mystery that was so inherently you that i never learned to question it, the gasoline left by your presence burned. and it burned bright in the dark and harsh on my skin / your love wasn't fair or unrequited or unattainable. your love wasn't war or peace. your love was elemental / earth, air, fire, wind, water / your love was all-encompassing and destructive, and i drowned in it.
#hi i wrote this when my biological dad who left us when i was eight whom i never heard from again contacted me.#for the first time in more than a decade. today. um. its. its okay to rb. its fine to perceive this in any other way! just thought id...#idk like set things straight about why i wrote this. wrote it in ten minutes tho lol......haha#life is a. bit stressful rn. im not the Biggest Fan of my bio dad if u can tell#my stepdad Isn't the worst person but im not sold on him either. he's always been good to my adopted sisters tho#ok. enough rambling. um. enjoy <3#original poem#poetry#poets on tumblr#sara's poetry#im so fuckginf nervous um. sorry to put this Here but yk. yk . idfk i need an outlet i think
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