#my sorrow is luminescence begins playing in the background

[taliabhattwrites]

The Marketplace of Identity

Today I'm thinking about how anglocentric queer communities do not view identities and positionalities as descriptive terms outlining their material circumstances and relationship to society, but rather as items on a menu that are meant to be selected from freely, to build one's Personal Brand and aesthetics.

In such an environment, any assertion of the materiality of a construct, the tangible reality it is meant to connote and communicate, registers as a violence, as "gatekeeping", because the identity was never supposed to be about conveying one's particular state of abjection. It is a toy in a basket, and pleas to consider the meaning of phrases are parsed as slapping one's hand away from something shiny.

Welcome to the Desert of the Real, in rainbow.

[welovekpopscenarios]

Cyber Date (Sungjin x Reader)

(he’s so cute gawd)

Admin: Mimi

Prompt/Ask: Hi~ can I request a fluffy scenario with Day6 Sungjin please 💕

Fandom: Day6

Genre: Fluff, slight angst

Pairing: Sungjin x Reader

Warnings: slight mention of drugs but none were actually taken, it was just mentioned

Word Count: 1548

A/N: FINALLY A DAY6 REQUEST. And one for my bias too! (I haven’t swerved to Young K, I haven’t swerved, I haVENT-) I love Sungjin, and I hope you like what I wrote (just a smol fluff!). Happy reading!

“Is it working? Can you hear me?”

Looking away from the lush, vibrant surroundings of the park, filled to the brim with people relaxing and children playing, making the most of the sunny day despite it nearing the beginnings of winter, you turned your eyes toward your laptop that was sitting on your lap. On the screen in front of you was your boyfriend Sungjin, muttering obscenities under his breath as he fiddled with his own laptop, his forehead creased in worry as he struggled to understand the technicalities of Skype.

It had been his idea to host a Skype date in a park when you both had the free time – things had been quite hectic for you lately after starting your studies in college abroad, and with Sungjin’s career with Day6 starting to gain more popularity recently, neither of you had found the time to text each other let alone Skype. But, after finding a gap in work and time zone difference, you both managed to set up a little Skype date for yourselves.

Judging by the darkness of the screen, it was night time in Seoul, the lights of the city Sungjin’s only source of luminescence on an otherwise dark and cloudy night. As always, Seoul was bustling with activity, even that late in the evening, the background noise of people talking and engines roaring making its way to your ears through the speakers of your computer.

“I can hear you, Sungjin. You don’t have to worry about the connection anymore, old man,” you teased, and Sungjin rolled his eyes playfully, a blush creeping onto his cheeks. Your fingertips played with the grass beneath you, the tips rustling the stands as you kept your eyes on your beloved boyfriend, eyes scanning the face you longed to see beside you for the past few months since you left. God, how you missed him.

“I’m not an old man,” he retorted indignantly, taking a sip from a bottle he had with him. “And even if I was, shouldn’t you respect your elders? Honestly, the youth of today…” he muttered and you snorted at him, shaking your head. In the distance, you could hear the laughter of a couple sitting somewhere behind, and it made your heart twinge at the sound, wishing you and Sungjin were in their place.

“Hey, at least the youth of today know how to work Skype, genius,” you argued, and he spluttered, ready to barrage you with insults and a scolding until he was cut off by your loud laughter. He smiled at the sweet sound, heart melting like it always does when you’re laughing.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m too busy being a rockstar to think about stuff like that, you know?” he bragged jokingly, and you hummed sarcastically in response. “It’s true! You know, crashing hotel rooms, killing it onstage, starting fights, doing…alcohol…” he finished lamely, scratching at the back of his neck awkwardly as you laughed even harder than before at him.

“Doing alcohol? Do you not mean ‘doing drugs’? You’re such an idiot sometimes, Sungjin,” you giggled and this time he laughed with you at his own stupidity.

“Hey, my mind blanked! I forgot, ok?” he sighed dramatically, and soon the conversation fell quiet. Horns were blaring from his end of the conversation, while the laughter of children echoed from yours – two very different settings. He fixed you with a small smile, one that spoke a thousand words; he loved you, he adored you, he missed you. “You look beautiful today,” he whispered, and your face flushed, handing moving to your face to tuck your hair behind your ears.

“Do I not look beautiful every day?” you joked, picking up the fruit you kept in your bag and beginning to eat, anything to avoid his gaze. Even miles apart and a screen between you, you still couldn’t look him in the eye when he complimented you so sweetly like that.

“Of course you do,” he smiled bashfully, his dark eyes forming the most delightful crescent moon shape. “It’s just, you look extra beautiful today, now that I can actually see you properly,” he added quietly, sorrow seeping through his words at the original meaning of his sentence. You nodded sombrely.

“I miss you,” you stated sadly, and Sungjin frowned, eyes cast upon his fingers fidgeting upon his thighs, biting at the corner of his lips. He felt the terrible ache of missing you as much as you did; a terrible emptiness settling in his bones now that you were separated. He was so happy for you, so happy that you had the opportunity to study abroad like you had wanted to, but he can’t ignore the feeling of homesickness whenever he pictured you in his mind. He wasn’t complete when you weren’t by his side, and no amount of work could ever distract him from that.

Raising his head towards his screen again, his gaze flickered painfully over your dejected face before scanning your surroundings in the background. His eyes widened momentarily when he spotted something in the distance, and returned his attention to you. You perked up when he called your name, and you looked up from the ground to find him grinning at you through the grainy screen.

“Remember that time we went to the ice cream shop on one of our first few dates?” he asked, and you beamed at the memory.

“Yeah, how could I forget? You spilled ice cream all over yourself and the old lady who ran the shop yelled at you like she was your mother,” you reminisced, laughing as Sungjin attempted to recall his version of the story.

The next few hours carried on like that – talking and sharing laughs over fond, old memories you had of each other, and while the air carries a tone of wistfulness like the gentle breeze in wind, your heart doesn’t seem as heavy as it was before. You had your precious memories to keep you warm at night, wrapping around your heart like a ribbon, finished with a bow and all.

But that lovely feeling came to a halt when Sungjin regretfully informed you that he wouldn’t be able to call you much in the coming weeks.

“What?” you questioned pitifully, your fingers now pulling tufts of grass and dirt from the ground out of a need to keep your hands from shaking from anger. Sungjin sighed mournfully, the sound crackling in your ears from the connection going shaky. It was almost time to go, and you weren’t ready for that. But it was getting late.

“I’m sorry,” he apologised. “But we have a new release out soon, and I’m gonna be busy with the band doing promotions and shows. Things are going to be really hectic these next few weeks, and I won’t get much time to talk to you anymore. I’m really sorry sweetheart, it’s one of the reasons why I really wanted to have this time with you today.”

You felt the familiar burning of tears forming in your eyes, and your throat constricted with tension. This was horrible. You knew he was a busy man, you were busy too; juggling college, job hunting and adjusting to new cultures all at once. But for weeks? Not talking? Barely getting a text, let alone hearing his voice? It felt like you just had him in your grasp again only for him to get ripped away once more. What if he just – forgets you? His career is kicking off, you’re just dead weight now, aren’t you? He’s capable of so much, why should he hang onto a partner that wasn’t even in the same country-

“Hey, stop freaking out.”

You jumped at his voice, his stern tone matching his frown. You didn’t like seeing him frown, at all. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you mumbled out “I wasn’t freaking out.”

“Yes, you were,” he said flatly, an unimpressed expression falling upon his visage. “I know you’re panicked and upset about this – I am too. But I will try my hardest every day to at least send a message letting you know how I’m doing. Regardless of whether I can answer or not, I still want you to send me texts of how your day is going, because I’d love to hear all about it, like always. Will you do that?” he asks, and you nod slightly, the tears that were pooling in your eyes now slipping down your cheeks silently.

“Hey, don’t cry! You shouldn’t cry over this. This is only for a little while, we just have to endure it. I love you, with all my heart, and nothing will ever change that. You know that. I miss you so much, but we’ll be together soon. I know we will. We just have to tough it out. So don’t waste any more tears on this old man, ok?” he smiled warmly, and you giggled, wiping at your wet cheeks. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Sungjin. I’ll wait for you. As cheesy as that sounds,” you laughed, embarrassed at your sappy words. Sungjin laughed too, a deep sound that spread warmth through your body, and filled you with happiness. You could do this. For him.

“I’ll wait for you too, my love.”