#my sleeping position is the greedy croissant

[awkward-fink]

Sleep Positions with Them. (I)

Price: - He lays on his back, one arm around your body, holding you securely to his side in a gentle but firm hold. - only wears sleep shorts and his dogtags to bed. His thighs are too thick for normal sleeping pants and he gets way too warm in those anyway. Also he loves that he can feel your skin on his when you tangle your legs with his own. - loves when you are draped half over him, your fingers curled into his chest hair, one hand of his covering yours. One of his fingers is laying on your pulse point, feeling the steady thrumm while his thumb lazily traces over your knuckles. - he doesnt need a blanket. And you dont either. He is a living furnace, even in winter you are always cosy warm.

Ghost: - curled around you, holding onto you tightly. - always sleeps closest to the door, its instinct, dont question it. - on bad nights he will sleep on top of you, his head firmly positioned on top of your chest, ear firmly pressed against the spot where your heart beats underneath layers of skin and flesh. Its his most favorite lullaby. - would sleep in his tactical gear if you hadnt forbidden it, so he wears a long shirt and long sleeping pants to bed. - will wake when you move or twitch and check if everything is alright before falling back to sleep - forget going to the loo in the middle of the night alone. What if you fall? Or stub your toe? And he isnt there to protect you from the corner of the shower? No way. He is sleepily stumbling right after you, only alert enough to fall into bed after you and curl around you, again. - only needs a light blanket when sleeping with you, because you are clingy (as if he is not!). And needs a weighted blanket on nights when you are away on business.

Soap: - no fixed sleeping position. He starfishes, noodles around, and planks on the bed. All at once. Though, he never pushes you out of the bed, again. Once was one time too many and the *Look* you gave him after that scared him for life. - falls asleep with you in his arms as the big spoon. wakes up in a double spiral, flat salto mortale with you on top of him, his legs wrapped around you like a monkey. And no one knows where the blankets have gone to! - would sleep naked but you wont allow it, on every night. He starts with a boxershort and a shirt and wakes up with one article of clothing missing. - is a sleep kisser. Kisses your fingers, your shoulders, your chest and if he is lucky, your mouth in his sleep. Also cant get enough contact. - loves when you card your hands through his hair when he had a bad day, or a nightmare. Calms him down real quick. If you speak gaelic, he will literally start drooling in his sleep - all the blankets and then no blankets - nights with Soap are wild. In more ways than one.

Gaz: - has a strict routine before coming to bed - loves to have you at his side when falling asleep, your head on his shoulder and his nose buried in your hair. Its calming for him. - sleeps like the dead. Or a stone. Or a field of stones. You could play hardcore metal with screeching violins and that man will only twitch a finger. - *has* to have contact with you while sleeping. Doesnt matter if its a hand, a foot, a leg or even your head, NEEDS contact. If there is no contact, he will wiggle in the bed to search for you, and he will be asleep while doing that - has a whoe ass pyjama, which looks like a suite or at least fitting together like those checkered Ones made out of cotton. Filthily comfy and wont let you burrow them. - Needs at least two blankets and you to rest in comfort. - Listen! Has the most wild dreams and will talk to you in his sleep, wont remember anything in the morning though

Bonus! Roach: - loves to sleep with you in the bed - has a blanket only for you, and a pillow and even wants you to sleep in his shirt. - you understand, that he can fall asleep better if he can have something smelling of you, when you are not with him - loves to curl his fingers around yours, watching you sleep, your legs tangled and your foreheads touching. - lazily signs one handed against the palm of your hand, silly little things, his feelings, sweet nothings, just wants to feel you. - has the best sleep when your breaths mingle, your hands intertwined, his leg hooked around yours. - loves to wake up and the first thing he sees is you. (has literal heart eyes!) - has one oversized blanket for you both to share - loves to kiss you lazily, lips just brushing over yours chastely until you both fall asleep. Holds one of your hands to his heart if he can get away with it - wears a very ol shirt and some old shorts to bed

[anonwriter27]

Trust in Me Ch6

Slightly longer chapter than usual, let me know what you think :) 

Darkness. Heat, a burning, blinding fire. Wet stones shaking beneath him. The echoes of footsteps left, right, louder, and louder.

 “Asgardian.” They sneer.

 Left, right, louder, and louder.

 “Jotun.” They mock.

 Left, right, louder, and louder.

 “Forgotten Prince. Left to die.”

 Left, right, louder, closer.

 “No more chances, Laufeyson…”

 He tries to yell but his lips cannot move. A cold, scaley hand creeps over his face, covering his eyes. He knows what comes next. No….no, no, no….

 “NO!” Loki yells as he bolts upright in his bed.

 His chest heaves as he tries to catch his breath. He pulls off his shirt, removing the discomfort of the cold sweat clinging the material to his skin. After a moment or two, he regains control, his breathing regulates, and he takes in his surroundings. The sight of his mundane room at the avenger’s tower, providing him some relief.

 He gets up from his bed and walks to the en-suite; he fills up a glass of water and drinks it in one go. As he puts down the glass, he notices his reflection in the mirror, but leaves before he can take a good look at himself. After the incident…after New York, Loki found it hard to look at himself; shame would wash over him, and with it, a wave of nausea.

 He walked over to the window, the cool breeze providing some comfort. He stayed there until the sun came up.

Y/N had been walking up and down the corridor that joined hers and Loki’s room for the past fifteen minutes.

 ‘What if he wants to go back to sleep, we did stay up late talking.’ Or, ‘He didn’t look well at breakfast, maybe I should leave him be.’ Were just two of the thoughts swarming around Y/N’s head as she debated knocking on his door.

 ‘Just do it.’ This thought was the loudest and strongest of them all, so she listened.

 A light tap, one, two, three, and the deed was done. She unconsciously held her breath to await his response, her thumbs twiddling, and breathing quickening.

 A moment passed before the door opened, Loki stood before her in a black long-sleeved shirt and jeans. Despite his muscles being obvious under the tight fabric, it looked soft. He had taken to wearing Midgardian clothing; Thor had provided him with some clothes on his arrival to make Loki look more casual and less threatening. Y/N noted that no matter the clothing, a God was still a God, the ability to always look ethereal was just in their nature.

 “Ready?” Loki said.

 Y/N let out the breath she’d been holding and nodded with a kind smile.

 Unbeknownst to Y/N, Loki had been aware of her pacing back and forth but was determined not to push her. He wanted her to have the option to back out if she wanted to, though he could not deny the small feeling of disappointment he felt in his chest at the thought she might change her mind.

 But she didn’t disappoint, and after Loki’s torturous night he was grateful not to be left with his own thoughts.

 Loki and Y/N walked through the joint living room on their way to the library; Vision, Wanda and Peter were already there enjoying a peaceful Sunday with pastries and coffee. They appeared to be preparing a feast for the day.

 “Good morning Loki, little miss.” Greeted Vision happily, Peter waved to indicate a hello while his mouth was stuffed with croissants.

 Loki nodded with the hint of a smile on his lips.

 “Good morning.” Y/N spoke quietly.

 “There’s plenty of pastry if you guys want more food.” Wanda offered.

 “No thank you, Y/N was about to show me the library.” Loki said.

 Everyone paused, Peter mid bite, Wanda mid sip of her coffee, and Vision mid distribution of omelettes, causing one to slip of the spatula in slow motion and unceremoniously splat onto the table.

 “You offered to show Loki around?” Vision asked.

 Y/N shifted on the spot, “Umm, yes…” She said, barely above a whisper.

 The three friends smiled fondly at the situation in front of them, they couldn’t remember the last time Y/N had volunteered to do anything of her own volition. Not that she was lazy or unwilling, she was just so scared, and they found it remarkable that, of all people, it was Loki who had brought out this side of her.

 “Have fun.” Wanda said warmly. With that, the pair walked out of the kitchen to the library one floor below.

  The journey to the library was a quick one, before they opened the large doors Y/N paused. This was her sanctuary, a place she didn’t have to hide, where she knew no one could harm her. She was taking a big leap of faith in trusting Loki with this space, but part of her felt like he needed it. She wasn’t a greedy person; she could share her little safe haven.

 “So, this is your library.” Loki stated, sensing her trepidation.

 “I suppose so. Uncle Tony filled this room with my favourite books when I was little and came to visit, so I’ve always secretly thought of it as mine...” She said meekly, her hair shielding her face.

 “…But you can come hear anytime you wish…if you want.” Y/N added.

 Loki smiled at her, a real smile indicating true appreciation, “Thank you.” He said in earnest.

 Y/N’s cheeks were ruby red, so she made herself busy and opened the doors.

 Loki wasn’t sure what he had expected, a room with a few bookshelves and a seating area maybe. He certainly didn’t expect wall to ceiling bookshelves in a labyrinth like design, their destination leading to soft leather sofa’s and a large fireplace.

 “Your Uncle made this for you?” Loki said is wonderment as he looked at the endless shelves.

 Y/N nodded happily, “Yes. It was much smaller when we started this little project. Over the years it just got bigger and bigger.” She chuckled.

 He liked the sound of her soft laugh.

 She didn’t give away much, but Loki was slowly starting to put together a picture of who this young woman was. The latest piece of the puzzle was ‘beloved niece.’ It was clear Stark doted on his sweet niece; to build her something she truly loved and could build on for years to come showed a great deal of devotion. Loki recognised that kind of devotion as one born from tragedy.

 Y/N showed him how everything was organised in genre then alphabetical. Her system impressed him greatly and he pulled out a few books from their slots to bring with them to the seating area.

 They read quietly for a couple of hours when Y/N began to feel cold. She moved over to the fire to start it and sat there as the cold in her skin began to thaw.

 Loki watched the light from the flames illuminate her soft features. In her state of tranquillity, Loki allowed his words to be unguarded.

 “You don’t look much like your uncle.” Loki noted.

 Y/N whipped her head around to face him, “Oh, no I don’t, sorry.” She said with a small laugh, as she played with the ends of her hair.

 Loki frowned. He didn’t like that laugh, it was different to the light chuckle she gave when pleased; no, this one masked discomfort and he wasn’t happy he had caused it.

 “You needn’t apologise, it was merely an observation.” He assured her, shocked by his overwhelming urge to reassure her.

 “Sorry… I mean, well… I don’t really take after my mother’s family in appearance.” She clarified, feeling silly for assuming his anger.

 “So, your mother was Stark’s sister? I wasn’t aware he had much family.” Loki said. With the man of Iron spending so much time with the avengers, it was hard to think of him with a family. In fact, it was hard to imagine any of these heroes with a family waiting on them.

 Y/N smiled sadly, “He doesn’t talk about her much.” She said softly.

 Loki looked at her, there was a maturity in her countenance, as though she understood something beyond her years.

 Loki hesitated, “May I ask why?”

 Y/N wasn’t sure how to go about explaining her mother to Loki. The truth was Tony could talk endlessly about Rafael and recount old memories; but when it came to his sister, he froze. Her death had caught Tony off guard and with the chaos around the situation, he never got a chance to take a moment and grieve. So, he never spoke about her, not even to Y/N, and out of respect for her uncle, Y/N stopped talking about her too.

 She wanted to talk about her though, without fear of upset or melancholy.

 “My mother died quite suddenly when I was younger, it’s a sensitive subject for my uncle.” Y/N explained.

 Loki nodded in understanding, “I’m sorry for your loss.”

 “Thank you.” Y/N said with a sad smile.

 “What was she like?” Loki asked, catching Y/N off-guard.

 He was about to regret his intrusiveness, but then she positively beamed at him with a smile so breath-taking, he found himself smiling in return.

 “She was beautiful.” Y/N spoke wistfully. “She was so clever, we used to read together in my father’s study. She seemed to inhale books, she read them so quickly. She wasn’t just book smart though… the way she spoke was eloquent too. We used to have family and friends over for dinner every few months; whenever she walked into the room, she seemed to command it. I would watch everyone as they watched her, its like they were in a trance.”

 Y/N spoke with pure adoration, it would appear she had inherited her mother’s ability to capture an audience, Loki couldn’t look away.

 “Sometimes she would join my father’s meetings; a room filled with giant men shouting one another down, yet one word from her could silence them all. She was a force of nature.” Y/N smiled, happy to have finally said out loud the thoughts she had kept tucked away.

 “I’m sorry, I got carried away…” Y/N spoke shyly.

 “No.” Loki said quickly, surprising both Y/N and himself. “Don’t apologise…thank you for sharing that with me. It must be hard for you…not to talk about her.”

 Loki felt suddenly very shy himself, but Y/N gave him that dazzling smile.

 “Thank you for listening.” She said.

 It was clear Y/N had wanted to speak about her mother to someone for quite some time. Loki admired her sensitivity and came to the conclusion that she may be looking after Tony as much as he looked after her.

 A few moments silence passed when Loki decided he ought to be less guarded with her in return. They appeared to be exchanging memories and anecdotes as currency, slowly learning more about each other through these transactions.

 “I can understand…why your uncle doesn’t wish to talk about her. I still struggle to discuss my mot-“ he paused, “Frigga.”

 Y/N nodded in understanding, “I’m sorry you lost her, that must have been hard for you.” She said

 Loki nodded, “It was, but time appears to heal most wounds.”

 Y/N offered a sympathetic smile, “It does, I’ve found that the loss never truly goes away but that can be a good thing sometimes. Reminders of what you lost makes you remember what you had; eventually the memories replace the grief.”

 She was wise beyond her years and Loki found comfort in her words.

 They continued to read long into the day until they both realised they hadn’t had anything to eat or drink in some time. They walked happily to the living area of their apartment, content in one another’s company.

 “Perhaps I should read this book series the spider boy raves about.” Loki contemplated holding a copy of the philosopher’s stone in his hand.

 Y/N gave that sweet chuckle, “They’re excellent books, and there are movies too.”

 “Movies?” Loki asked, looking at Y/N confused.

 Their brief laughter was interrupted by Thor who had just walked into the kitchen.

 Thor looked perplexed at the scene before him; his brother and Stark’s niece sat at the kitchen island eating left over pastry and discussing books.

 “Brother.” Thor greeted.

 Loki turned to his sibling, “Thor.”  He nodded in greeting.

 Loki watched as his brother looked over to Y/N, a slight frown on his lips and his posture solid and unmoving.

 Loki looked over to Y/N and found she had made herself as small as possible, her head slightly bowed as she rubbed her hands nervously.

 “I should be going to bed, umm goodnight.” She said though it was barely audible.

 As she scuttled out the room, Thor began to relax. “Good day brother?” Thor enquired patting his brothers back as he got himself a drink out the refrigerator.

 “Fine.” Loki said, irritated by Y/N’s absence and the way in which it came about.

 Thor was acting as though nothing had happened, which irked the trickster even more.

 “What was that?” Loki demanded.

 Thor looked up from the pastry he had snagged, “What was what?”

 “That little display of dominance you used to frighten her off.” Loki said, practically through gritted teeth.

 Thor sighed, running his hand through his hair, “I know, I know, I just don’t trust them.”

 Loki was confused, “Them? Do you mean Y/N?”

 “Well yes.” Thor said matter of factly, “Surely you recognise her?”

 Loki’s look of puzzlement led Thor believe that his brother was none the wiser.

 “She’s a Tatum, Rafael’s daughter. You remember them brother! Father had us watch over them these many years.” Thor explained.

 Loki thought back, trying to place a face to the name, when suddenly it dawned on him. “The Tatum Clan? I thought Odin said they had died out.”

 “They have.” Thor said, with a mouth full of food. He gestured to the empty spot where Y/N once was, “She’s the last of them.”

 It clicked into place now. Her hair, her eyes, he knew he had seen them before. It was hard to believe she was a descendent of such a brutal clan. Loki remembered stories of their raids and pillaging, and from what he could recall the years hadn’t softened them.

 How did Stark know them? How could his sister marry one of them? Did Odin know about Y/N? This clarification had only provided Loki with more questions.

 It was then that Loki thought about Thor’s reaction to Y/N.

 “Is that why you’re cold to her? Because of her family?” Loki asked.

 Thor paused his eating, contemplated the question, and sighed, “Its not that I dislike her, I simply don’t know what she is capable of or if she is trustworthy. You remember them brother, they were not kind people.”

 ‘But she is.’ Loki thought

 They sat in silence until Thor decided he was going to bed. As Thor was walking out of his brother’s apartment, Loki spoke up.

 “Do you judge me?”

 Thor turned to find his brother looking down to the floor, avoiding his gaze. “Judge you?”

 “For being Laufey’s son? For being Jotun? For my family history?” Loki asked.

 “Brother… never, I do not judge you for your true form…”

 Loki stood up and made his way to his own room, “Then perhaps you should show her the same courtesy.” Loki said as he walked away.

 Thor watched him leave and wondered what had come over his brother. Whatever it was, it had certainly given Thor a lot to think about.

[leeuwchen]

17 for Ringsy, please?

Hello Anon, not sure if you wanted 17 for Angst, Fluff or Misc. so I simply tried to put all of them into one prompt. It got a bit out of hand, I guess, and I was quite a bit soap-nostalgic along the way, but here it is [it does include spoilers and speculations about how things might turn out for some of the Schillerallee residents during the next weeks]If you don’t hug me right now, I think I might fall apartI’m here for youOkay, so maybe I didn’t see that coming It’s weird being inside the bakery these days. The room is as bright as usual, the walls painted in light colours, the pleasant smell of bread and rolls and the intoxicating smell of coffee hanging in the air. Still, there is this sombre tension radiating from behind the counter where Irene Weigel’s picture has been put up next to that of her late husband Wolfgang, all shiny and new and looking like it doesn’t belong there. Or maybe it’s just him adjusting badly to change. Easy knows that Saskia has struggled with the decision of putting the picture there, fearing it would unnecessarily hurt Robert even more than he is hurting already but he was all for it - telling Saskia that this was where Irene belonged, that it was all about the legacy of the place. So now she has joined her first husband in watching their bakery live on smilingly but the grave tension in the room remains and as Easy is watching Saskia strolling around restlessly behind the counter, he can’t shake off the feeling once more that there’s something else behind it than just Irene passing away. The soft sound of the shop`s doorbell lets him turn around and for a moment everything is – well – easy as Ringo is walking in, as gorgeous as ever, casually gesturing to a sign on the left-hand side of the store to place his order with Antoine and then letting himself slump onto the seat next to Easy, sighing deeply, obviously in sync with the room’s general mood. 

“So I guess, your interview didn’t go well?” 

Ringo nods tiredly. 

“Let’s just say that with players like Huber in my neck and the Richters out wanting my head and Spohn still hating my ass, it is hard to get a fair review.” 

“I’m sorry, honey.” 

He lightly brushes his hand through Ringo’s hair and feels the slight turn of his husband’s head as he is leaning into the touch. 

“Don’t worry about me, okay? Even if there is just one decent job they can’t meddle with, I swear to you I’m going to find it and have the last laugh!”

“Well, I know at least one person who wouldn’t care for anything that Huber, the Richters or Spohn says…”

Ringo raises one eyebrow warningly. They have been over this more than once and as for now it has always been in a light-hearted way but Easy knows that this could change in an instant if Ringo feels too hassled.

“I know, you are all for it, Easy, but… as much as I appreciate Paco wanting to do that… I’m just not made for it. The Turnhalle was fun… the best of times… but I never wanted that for life. It’s just not… you know… it’s not or me.”

“I know”, Easy says with a smile, then – because sometimes when Ringo gets like this, he just can’t help himself but has to tease him – he adds innocently: “Then again, you thought you wouldn’t be one to marry either and I have it on good authority that you are very good at it.” Before Ringo can react, Leni has walked up to them, placing his order in front of him. Smiling deviously, he looks up to her. “Can you believe it? Your stepfather just referred to himself as an authority figure. Weird, huh?” But Leni just smiles back at him. “You know, I listen to him.” She leans down a bit, her voice almost a whisper now. “And so do you.” Ringo shakes his head sullenly. “Yeah yeah, just gang up on me, will you? I’m still not going to open a new gym with your old man.” Amused by his sudden moodiness Leni pats Ringo’s shoulder pitingly.

“You mean, you are not going to open a new gym with my dad for now, right?”

“That’s it, I want to speak to your boss. You are openly bullying your customers, you little…”

The smile disappears from Leni’s face. “Actually, so would I. But Saskia has left again for no reas-“ Before she is able to finish her sentence, a customer walks in and smiling apologetically Leni hurries behind the counter to take his order. “Doesn’t sound like Saskia at all, does it? I really wonder what’s behind it”, Easy murmurs worried but Ringo just shrugs. “Cheating. That’s what behind it. I’m telling you.” Easy rolls his eyes.

“Oh yeah, I forgot. Because you could read that in Paco’s face when we asked him what was wrong with her.”   

 “Yes. I could indeed.” 

“And if you are such a master of this art, Hase, with whom did she sleep then?”

Ringo takes a croissant from his dish and turns it around thoughtfully.

“Maybe it’s Antoine. I mean, a man who can bake heavenly stuff like that…”

“You better not have this then.”

With a swift move Easy tries to capture the pastry but his husband is quicker.

“Oi! No need to get all watchful, Bärchen, all I am saying is that the whole love at first sight, swept me from my feet, shiny white knight stuff they had going on maybe isn’t the thing to last forever, you know.”

Easy sighs deeply but can’t hide his amusement. Teasingly his hand gestures towards Ringo while addressing an imaginary audience.

“And today’s key-note speaker on our ‘Romance is dead’-panel… Richard Beckmann!”

Just as Ringo opens his mouth to shoot back an answer, his cell phone vibrates, and he takes it out to check the message. Now in a bad mood again, he pushes it back inside his pocket only seconds later. 

“Well, romance might not be completely dead but my job life sure is. Took them about what… 45 minutes to turn me down. That’s a new record.”

Once more Easy reaches out and lets his hand slide through Ringo’s soft hair who closes his eyes thankfully for a few moments, but this time doesn’t lean into his husband’s touch and instead starts to straighten his tie and suit as if taking care of his armour before he continues to eat in silence. 

It’s early in the evening and for the last twenty minutes Easy has been standing inside the kiosk, staring out of the window, contemplating the street’s fate… or something like that. He is a positive person in general and he knows that moodiness doesn’t suit him well, but he just can’t put his finger on what got into him today. There have always been bad times at Schillerallee 10. They’ve had to let people go, lost people, hated people, been at each other’s throats over small things or huge betrayal but still - just today - this one feels like the big one. With Irene dead, the Weigels in mourning, Saskia being all weird after probably (Ringo might be on to something here) cheating on Jakob, Bambi and Sina broken up after Sina’s secret abortion, Bambi not talking to either Tobias or Vivien because they’ve known about it, Sina dissociating herself from everyone including her family, Conor on the run or whatever got into him after breaking up with Eva and almost killing his own father, Leni going from sadness to defiantness over her mother’s visit, that strange Luke guy lurking around, Ute and Huber constantly fighting, Huber Bau going to the dogs without Ringo and Ringo constantly being turned down for no other reason than having made enemies for doing the right thing it’s hard to see the silver lining. 

As if to prove him right a lanky shadow appears on the threshold, blocking most of the light coming from there. Ringo is wearing his sports clothes and he must have been running hard because he looks like hell – the kind of hell that makes you consider giving up heaven for it but still… hell. “Water, please”, he begs calmly and after Easy has given him a bottle he empties it in one long greedy gulp before focussing his blue eyes on his husband. “Who died and made you king of the funeral party?” Realising what he has just said, Ringo quickly shakes his head while pinching his own nose bridge with both thumb and index finger. “I’m sorry, that was… highly inappropriate. I just wanted to know why you look so glum. What happened?” Easy shrugs his shoulders.

“Nothing really. But I guess… somehow… all the sadness around me has made me sad, too. Kind of sympathy sadness, you know?”

“I see. That’s why I try not to have too much sympathy for people in general. Makes your life easier. But… since I married the most empathetic guy in the world, and I DO have LOTS of sympathy for him… let me help you. What exactly is making you sad?”

Easy starts looking around the inside of the kiosk feeling a bit clueless. Of course, he loves Ringo and his husband has been an understanding, soothing ally to him in more than one case but maybe this one is a bit out of Ringo’s league… too weird to understand, especially when you are a very structured controller. “Easy?” So apparently, he is not getting out of this by just looking around. He takes a deep breath.

“I know it’s silly, but I just can’t deal with everyone around here being sad. The Weigels understandably and Sina and Bambi of course, but it’s not only them… Ute, Eva, Leni, you…”     

“I’m not sad. I’m frustrated.”          

“But that’s the same thing really.”

Ringo is still leaning against the doorframe but now he has crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes determinedly.

“No, it really isn’t. I know that everyone thinks that I don’t have a lot of emotions and I quite agree but the emotions I have I want to have categorized correctly and I am not sad. I am married to the most wonderful man in the world which is something I would have never believed to happen. I live in a flat share with my stupid annoying idiotic half-brother and I actual enjoy it which is likewise a complete miracle. And in the flat next to us where - as I would have stated just three years ago - only boring losers and gullible push overs live, there are my best friend and his teenage daughter who somehow is my stepdaughter as well and in the maybe most absurd twist in my life I love that too. So yes, being out of work is as frustrating an experience as it ever was but I am not sad. In fact, I am happier than I have ever been in my entire life.”

For a few seconds Easy doesn’t know what to say and he wonders if there will ever be a day, he stops underestimating what greatness and candour and kindness Richard Beckmann is capable of. All of a sudden, all the glumness is gone… well almost gone. There is one more thing ne needs, however.

“If you don’t hug me right now, I think I might fall apart.”     

“I’m all sweaty, Easy.”          

“I don’t care.”

With a swift movement Ringo is inside the kiosk, pressing himself against Easy who equally slings his arms around the – indeed sweaty – body. For a minute or two they are just standing there     before Easy starts to worry about the icy air and Ringo catching a cold in his wet clothes. Carefully one of his hand slips underneath the damp T-Shirt caressing the cold skin of his husband’s back.        

“And why have you been running like this?”

Sighing deeply Ringo lets go of him and takes one step back. 

“I talked to Bambi today. Now that he and Sina are broken up, he wants to sell the house and asked me if I would handle it on his behalf.”     

“That doesn’t sound too bad.”

“It isn’t bad at all. He would even retransfer the money I had to pay him for sabotaging the house if I sold it at a good price.”     

“And that’s a problem?”

“Not really, no. But it means selling it to Huber after all.”

“Oh, I see. Is there no other contractor who would be interested? You said it was a prime spot for a new business park, didn’t you?”

“There would be others, yes, but not right away and Bambi wants it to be done quickly. Huber already has – thanks to me – all the numbers and calculations ready so there was no other option than calling him.”

“Oooh”, Easy exclaims, finally understanding the problem. Sure, there isn’t an open war going on between Ringo and his former boss. Huber even had a good time at their wedding and with the kiosk save and sound Ringo had at least achieved one victory and therefore renounced from taking revenge but still, making a business call to his former work place must have hit his husband like a punch in the guts. “Didn’t he buy then?” Ringo snorts.

“Oh, he bought within a second and for a mighty good price without thinking twice.”

“But he didn’t offer you your job back?”, Easy asks tensely, supposing that somewhere deep down this is still what Ringo would want to happen. The other’s mouth twists into a sarcastic sneer.

“He did. Sort of. Of course, since my lack of loyalty is a given fact and the only reason, he is even considering doing so is the stroke of luck I’ve had with Bambi’s house, he announced right away that I would be demoted until I have proven myself worthy of the second chance.”

“He always was and always will be an asshole, Ringo. His business is going down without you.”

“Tell me about it. Still, since we disagreed strongly on who would be giving whom a second chance, I wished him good luck with Britta Schönfeld in charge of controlling and hung up. Then – as usual - I panicked and almost called him back but stopped myself from doing so and went for a run even though the thing’s not worth catching a cold for.”

“You could have come to me instead. I’m here for you.”

Grinning, Ringo nudges his nose against Easy’s.

“I know that, you idiot. But I thought since you are the only provider in our household, I shouldn’t keep you from making money. Had I of course known that you are standing here, scaring the customers away with that rainy-day face of yours, I would have come earlier.”

“You are very funny, you know that? But I didn’t marry you for being funny.”

“Course not. But I still think you could need some help around here.”          

“What do you mean? I’ve got Paco and Gianni…”

“Yeah, but they are only here when you are not. I meant someone to help you when you get all blue all of a sudden these days. Someone funny maybe.”     

“Are you applying for a job you just made up?”

“Yes. And before you ask… I myself cannot believe I’m that desperate for some work.”

With a serious look on his face, Easy scans Ringo’s outfit. 

“And I cannot believe that you would wear this to a job interview, but I guess you could lose these clothes quickly enough.”

Taken off guard, Ringo raises one eyebrow and slightly turns his head, opening his mouth twice without saying something before he recovers.     

“Okay, so maybe I didn’t see that coming.”               

“Neither did we.”

Without either Ringo or Easy noticing Tobias and Vivien have appeared in front of the window, looking inside now. Frowning, Tobias waves one hand through the air. 

“Sorry to interrupt your kiosk sex talk and everything but Paco and Leni invited the four of us over. Apparently, they have been making tapas all afternoon and stuff got out of hands and now they are having a little get together with food, wine and really bad movies… or let’s say, with your playlist, Easy.”

The addressee furrows his brows. Having eaten nothing since breakfast he could indeed do with some food. But that is no reason to let Tobias get away with insulting his taste in movies. 

“Coming from someone who likes to watch something called Naked Space Patrol that’s really harsh, Kotzmeister, so be thankful I like to spend time with you anyway. Let me just close the kiosk and I’ll be ready.” 

Curiously he looks at Ringo, hoping his husband won’t feel pushed by his spontaneous decision but said husband is halfway through the door already. “I’ll just hit the shower then and be over after.” Satisfied Tobias nods. “Take your time. Stinker will have to hit the park first anyway.” The small dog barks in agreement. “And since his hubby sneaked out of it, I’ll help Easy pack up around here”, Vivien offers and starts taking down the magazines from the kiosk’s front wall. 

As Easy steps out of the small building seconds later to get the ketchup bottles from the tables, he can still see Tobias walking away to the park, using his walking stick only every other step while Stinker is eyeing his owner watchful as if to make sure that the lawyer isn’t overestimating his strength. Turning his head a bit, Easy eyes catch Ringo striding into the inner yard of their house, taking huge, rather bouncy steps clearly looking forward to an evening with food, friends and fun – well, mostly food probably – but still, taking all these things into account, Easy can’t help but think that even the gloomiest of times aren’t  that bad when you are living at Schillerallee 10.

[shytiff]

June Small Wins

1 - ecmocard meeting with ppl from aussie to learn to sort out data. Felt better after the meeting cause i didnt feel like doing anything before. Got two season deli box cake from dapur cokelat for nessa. Videocalled w her and ren.

2 - dr eva chatted and gave things to do. I also need to make intern log for dr retha. I just cant bring myself to start. Finally mustered the courage. Im not the type of person for wfh. At least in this house. Finished reading love or hate. I rly felt like shit at night.

3 - started reading positively yours. Had no will to do anything

4 - some more sending spss work for dr eva. weekdays with no “outside work” rly render me useless in functioning. a vegetable

5 - iluni webinar. Lost my attention during electrolyte and fluid stuff. tried to cook ribeye steak lmao (meat from @/fridaymeatshop). Its too chewy and leathery. But its not too welldone. And at least it tastes good. Went to depok by krl. its quite quick since krl arrived just after im at poris and duri. went ahead of silvi devi. satpam on the lobby wont open the access hhhh (i dont have one. i dunno why. mom said she cant find it although we supposedly have 2). but my mood improved once im upstairs. we prepped a bit of deco. conversed in the dark so not to make racheel suspicious. surprisee. had truffle belly chicken cheese for dinner. the cheese was not to cheesy, its more of a gentle taste. mushroom tastes better. we watched sweet and sour from my mobile data. surprisingly, its not that much of data. slept at like 12-1ish

6 - the electric token went out in the morning. we went for a walk in ui. the PLK man across of st ui forbade us from going in. ugh. but it was rly empty. so we went from barel. its empty on the library. there was a dog that walked along with us. talked a bit in front of the lake. went back. i got 2 moon chicken (the basic flavor and not the wings) and spicy jumeokbap. the jumeokbap was nothing like what i had in korea. like the seaweed’s taste doesnt come out that much, and its not that flavorful/savory. the one in korea its good even by itself. went back to jkt nebeng reza silvi with devi. originally planned to go to flavola, but my head kinda hurts, so i finished my moon chicken at the mushola and asked juan to pick me up. still feel healthy and normal after going and staying out, so i started reading a book abt handwriting analysis lmaoo. fell asleep. tried several attempts to figure out my bpjs number and turns out the best there is to respond is BPJS’ twitter. the problem was solved under 5 mins. 

7 - woke up, fell asleep again. Adita told me that i might be interviewed today for the ipd intern but theres no info. Did the registration stuff for my bpjs. Registered for npwp. Watched bts x na pd

8 - off to RSF. its audit day today. hiks to phonecall follow up work. i did not do anything inaco related, i just sat there and did dr dafsah’s excel. dr vera bought me pecel ayam hehe yay. went to como park to meet up with indah regen. tried ricotta pizza from pizza place (33k). the cheese is cheese but not that typical cheesy (?) coupled with mushroom. i had to add sauce to withstand the last bites (still kinda full). tried other’s as well, pesto and mushroom. pesto had the most taste. while waiting for doggo to arrive, we bought gelato (S: 35k). apparently their special flavor was ricotta lmao. tried green tea (bitter, which i like) and peanut butter + caramel, which makes you feel thirsty. watched the doggos from the sidelines. after maghrib we went to 1/15. ordered ice mocha (50k). the chocolate taste stood out more. not gonna order again lol. the staff initially recommended pandan flavor. took grab to gbk station to go home.

9 - rsf. second audit day. i hate it here lmao. im not even paid for my time here. excused myself to eat. turns out mbak Ai bought hokben. i almost forgot thanking her since i felt hungry with a bit of headache. talked a bit with dr retha regarding changes of assistant (since internship is soon). went back and immediately laid down in bed. mom bought pizza so thats what i ate for dinner. fell asleep (i can feel it. my face will get consequences)

10 - cant bring myself to do anything. i reread painter of the night lmao. seungho is a prick. inhun is also a prick (a greedy one). ate arirang bone marrow. put the egg-seasoning mixture to the pan since im not confident enough to just pour boiling water into the bowl. felt surprisingly full. went to sbux. green tea latte as usual. but turns out tumblr 50% promo only applies to sbux member. so i had to pay 40k for my green tea latte. at least i got to feel good from outside vibes. did some follow up for INACO patients. 

11 - went to rm rsf. Took lots of photos of RM. I was given rujak by the rm staff lmaoo so cute. Didnt do any entry afterwards lmao i just laid down

12 - breakfast is paldo jjajangmen and egg. It tasted like soy. Its good but not in a micin way. Its quite fulfilling. Had some of the beef slices by putting it in a buttered pan (is it pan fried? Grilled? Idk). Had banana and brownies together (makes it rly good). Did a bit of clires work. I drank sbux's caramel macchiato but yall my stomach cant handle it lmao. It hurts so much that i even got a headache. So i just laid down in bed

13 - had arirang again loll. Inserted the egg to the pan still, but quicker this time. Its too salty today. Maybe its not enough water. I was eating it while googling how to remove excess sodium. Ate the rest of beef slices (shared with bros ofc) and mixed some with moms fried rice. Ate banana brownies again. Felt soooo full. Did some clires work accompanied by sbux matcha

14 - i felt like shit this morning. Watched leahs vid. Listened to her podcast while having bfast. I walked from moms car to bougenville while still feeling like shit. It slowly gets better afterwards, thankfully. Did some clires and follow up. Went to gandy steak in dr retha's car (which had anesthesiology textbook inside). Tried aus sirloin steak. The bread tasted ok. The garlic bread also ok. The mashed potato was so so (the one in depok was more creamy and smooth). The steak was good, especially the fat part, the sauce so so. Honestly that depok steak had more value for money compared to this, i think. Nebeng dr rara and husband to busway station. Arrived in ar and i immediately showered, such wow 👏👏

15 - today is no rsf day aka self made wfh day. Moms getting vaccinated today. I just lazed. And read kanej fics

16 - off to rsf. Took care of rm stuff. Tried social affair's croffle since i was so curious (60k [10k tip]). The nutella and cinnamon sugar one. Its crunchy and a bit crumbly inside, but not as fragile as croissant. Its quite fulfilling too. But its basically flour batter variations. (thats what mom would say). randomly chatted racheel and we ended up taking a walk and a bit of jog citra 6 (with my sneakon regular shoes). My left tendon was screaming lol. Picked up by juan who surprisingly effortlessly found the address at night.

17 - mbak aan chatted me today to go to rscm. Met prof murdani at pesc and he gave me ppt assigment for 13:30 THAT DAY. Finished it unsatisfyingly (i wish i couldve done more). Lunch was free bebek bkb yay thankyou Prof c: (he even asked what did i ate) took care of legalisir stuff. Went home by tj. Drank matcha w vsoy and i somehow was not sleepy after maghrib. I also changed my desj layout. Maybe it kinda works to separate my spaces

18 - arrived at rscm at 8-ish. sent updated thibbun nabawi ppt. literature search. and then somehow its 14:30. went to SCI w ara wani rasyid. tried bandeng nyonya, oyster, salmon, cumi lada garam (its crazy good among all the good tasting food wtff), shrimp and pocai telor (veggie stuff). dessert was thailand cassava. spent about 190k. went back by TJ. had wudu at pulomas and prayed ashar on the bus lol. i passed out after playing w my phone lmaoo  

19 - spent almost the whole day just sleeping and eating. finally showered in the afternoon. had matcha vsoy latte after maghrib and with enough day sleeping, i did presentation outline. at like 1/2 am i initially planned to sleep but my eyes still have plenty of watts. so i read hold me tight. slept at like 4/5 am

20 - woke up at 9. off to om dokter’s house to ask for healthy letter. we talked almost the entire time im there lol. before u know it mom and dad’s done talking with grandma. om dokter shared some of his experiences in the past. and he said something about making your choice and living with it, and it will all have a meaning even if you might initially agonize about it. girl i was holding back tears. here he was talking about choices, something i never rly talk about at my house. im getting teary just typing this. he talked about it in a way that sounds simple, even though i agonized abt internship choices and sometimes avoid thinking about it. it rly rly was a new experience. i dont rly talk about “choices” with my parents. so hearing how to go through options in life from a person i can relate to regarding this med stuff is. i feel like i would have loved it if i can hear his wisdom earlier. i dont talk with him much if my parents are around bcs they will just meddle and say stuff that wreck my peace. they dont rly know what im going through but can be very opinionated. this peaceful one on one talk rly made me feel relieved and reassured. and i was today years old when i found out he initially wanted to be a psychiatrist. he would have been a great psychiatrist. i feel like we have some understanding thats left unsaid. like he knows how my parents are like. he would probably understand why i dont talk with him much at AR. after what feels super quick, we went back to AR. registered for STR. searched some literature for the topics that Prof is the moderator of. powered by matcha energy

21 - rscm as usual. the Prof did not come. lunch was bread i brought from home. waited for mom to pick me up at kfc so i bought pukis kfc. its like properly made pukis and not the street seller made ones. the chocolate one was good since the toppings generous. felt a bit feverish? like my body felt warm. fell asleep and then suddenly its 6 am in the morning. 

22 - Prof still did not came. had amart’s ayam penyet jamur for lunch. turns out juan bought ayam geprek gendut for dinner. night time is diarrhea time lmaooooo. did not feel sleepy at AR but i skipped shower again lmao,,,,,,,, and then suddenly its morning again

23 - jajan from sisterfield today. tried their carrot cake and kopi susu gula aren. the carrot cake has that carrot texture. its different. the icing was fresh cream cheese that made the cake taste good. the coffee made my stomach ache a bit. it has that subtle chocolatey taste. fell asleep again. third time’s the charm (of 1x/day face wash). woke up at 3 am planning to sleep but i ended up washing my face. turns out atikah was still awake due to AZ fever.

24 - this is the bestest sleep i had in this week (?) had a dream about going to bandung and the car falling to water. forgot my headset today. can finally meet prof Mur. talked abt inaco stuff w agassi. reread komugi meruem lmaoo. felll asleep. somehow had the misfortune of hearing dad’s hurtful words to mom. i want to fall asleep again but its difficuly. i went through stages of pent up anger, some sort of selfishness (i will go out from jakarta for internship), amazement to mom, and... (continue 2moro)

25 - lunch was dori rice from kanprim thanks to rasyid’s jastip. watched bts’ butter norebang lolll :(((. arrived at AR the fastest ive been. mom came to me right before maghrib and  summed some stuff dad said yesterday. she handled it in a trivial way. like she was unaffected. and that somehow helped me too. stuck around in the dining room for a while after maghrib. talked about internship w mom. i left some chance for dad to yap yap abt whatever related to internship (thankfully songs were full volume through my wireless headset) while im inhaling through my matcha latte. i wont write what he said bcs its lowkey super embarrassing. thank the gods for wireless speakers. 

26 - did not do anything productive today. Had arirang salted egg for bfast (wont repurchase). Had the meat cubes i bought online and its rly good. Ran with racil at citra 6. The tendon in my left feet hurt lol. Gmeet with ara et al to discuss internship review

27 - lazed. Wanted to start my day early but couldnt bring myself to. Binge watched twoset videos. Did clires stuff. 1 more RM to wait from IRMIK. No gastro intern work this weekend aaaa im starting to panic.

28 - juan came along otw to rscm. Talked about iship otw. brought tons of stuff to eat, including matcha latte, but i was unable to finish it lol. Discussed research budgeting w Prof. Didnt do anything in home. Starting to panic with my ppt progress.

29 - discussed budgeting revision. Prof thought abt little details i didnt even consider. Didnt do anything while at ar anjengggg

30 - prof did not come to dept today. Listemed to agassi rambling abt intern stuff. Immediately opened my laptop in ar. Watched two set. Played marapets lmaooo i finally managed to gather 3 au for shop pricer. But still didnot wash my face 👁️👄🤦‍♀️ maybe bcs i hate doing what people tells me to do (re: shower due to covid scare). Had a nightmare abt being in a car ride alone w dad and it was rly rly awkward