#my sisters think my parents are pushing the basically sole responsibilty of her onto me bc they want to distance themselves
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having a senior dog is so mentally taxing
#literally cry at least 4 times a week 🤪 like i just feel so *bad* bc chloe was doing really well up until like a week ago#and now she's having issues with her legs again and sometimes she seems fine but sometimes i feel like she's not doing well#and idk how much of it is just bc of her arthritis and whenever i'm not home i feel so awful especially when i'm petsitting#like i feel so much guilt about it i'm always scared smth will happen to her while i'm not there#and like since i've basically been the one doing Everything for her since i came back home i feel like it's my fault that she's having#problems like i didn't do smth that i could have... and i know it's irrational bc she's 14 but idk. maybe i could have noticed smth#earlier idk idk idk the vet said she seemed fine when we went last week but they're doing bloodwork and i'm really afraid smth will#be wrong. i don't think i could handle that. i really don't. i can't handle it as it is#and obviously i don't blame her bc nothing is her fault and i know she's old but mentally it's so exhausting#my sisters think my parents are pushing the basically sole responsibilty of her onto me bc they want to distance themselves#so that it won't hurt as bad in the end but like do they not think that it'll upset me? i get such bad anxiety about the vet bc i#'m always terrified they'll say it's the end. i've had recurring nightmares about her ***** for the past 4 years. i regularly cry about it#even though nothing has happened#like i know it's bad but i have a lot of emotional dependence on her and the fact that everything is getting pushed onto me#is really really hard for me but i feel so bad about it... no matter what i just feel guilty and bad
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