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changbunnies · 11 months ago

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Piece of a Puzzle (18+)

♡ Pairing: Duke’s Son!Seungmin x Princess!Reader

♡ Genre: royal au, fake dating, angst, fluff, love triangle, best friends to fake lovers to real lovers, so much pining from seungmin, slow burn-ish?, eventual smut

♡ Word Count: 20.6k (lmao it was not supposed to be this long...)

♡ Summary: For as long as Seungmin can remember, he’s been in love with you; and for as long as he can remember, you’ve been in love with Hyunjin. Desperate for Hyunjin to see you as a woman and no longer as a best friend or metaphorical sister, you ask Seungmin to pretend to be your boyfriend to make him jealous- you have nothing to lose, and nothing could go wrong! At least, that’s what you both think until your fake relationship with Seungmin begins to reveal feelings for you that he wanted to keep buried, and feelings in you that you didn't realize you had.

♡ Warnings: i know some people hate love triangles so if that is you then this fic is not for you i am sorry gsddgfd, i also wouldn't read this if you're not okay with characters who make mistakes and act selfishly lol, seungmin says mean things but it's all in the spirit of teasing and banter and he is not actually a mean person i promise, mentions of falling in freezing water, being sick + taking medicine, and reader makes 1 joke about killing seungmin.

♡ Smut Warnings (contains spoilers): virgin reader + virgin seungmin, loss of virginity, no intended d/s dynamics but reader is usually the one taking the lead lol, lots of kissing per usual, handjob, nipple play, unprotected piv, creampie

♡ Notes: it took me forever to come back to this series but the next member to get their royal au fic is seungmin <3 unlike my previous royal au fics, this one is in a modern setting which i hope makes for a fun dynamic and is a good change of pace from my other aus !

♡ Disclaimer: please read responsibly, and remember that this work is fiction and meant strictly for imaginative fun. the idols used in fics are more accurately faceclaims and personality outlines for imaginary characters, and should not be interpreted as factual representations of existing people.

If you were to ask Seungmin what his favorite thing about having two best friends was, it would've been how special it was to be a trio. You, Seungmin, Hyunjin– the three of you inseparable since you were babies, spending hours giving the attendants and guards watching over you trouble, getting into snowball fights in the winter and camping out in the gardens during the summer.

Countless days spent splashing around in the lakes and ponds near your estates and coming back with muddied feet, making messes in the kitchens when you disastrously tried to figure out how to bake a cake for your upcoming birthday, and giggling to each other even as your elders got red in the face from scolding you.

It was perfect, really– the happiest days of Seungmin's life, all spent in carefree bliss.. until you all started to get older. It was all so mindless when you were children; all Seungmin ever really comprehended back then was that you were all of similar age, and becoming friends was a natural and perfect arrangement thanks to your parents (who Seungmin realized were all important people, though he was too young at the time to understand why or how.)

You, the princess in the east, Hyunjin, the prince in the west, and Seungmin, the duke's son born in the middle of both territories, whose father allied himself to both nations and was a revered peacekeeper.

He can still remember fondly the nights before it all became so different; when you'd have guard sanctioned sleepovers in the ballroom, how you'd run and splash in the rain, your laughter carrying even as the three of you became soaked and eventually scolded for dripping water onto the pristine castle floors.

You'd slip out of royal events to go hangout together on the balconies, in the library, or anywhere really, as long as it wasn't full to the brim with your pretentious elders talking politics and future marriage.

But Seungmin made the mistake of falling in love with you, and you fell in love with Hyunjin, and that's where it all falls apart.

The situation is dramatic, you're dramatic– the way you whine and flail on the bed, claims of how you'll "just die" if Hyunjin doesn't finally realize you're the woman of his dreams. Seungmin sits across from you on your chaise near the balcony of your extravagant bedroom, trying not to react too strongly one way or the other. As the only person you can confide in on this topic, Seungmin is used to hearing you pour your heart out to him about Hyunjin.

He likes to think he's used to it, anyways; that it doesn't hurt anymore because he simply doesn't let it, but any outsider looking in would be able to tell that isn't true. His smile falters, his bright eyes dull, his heart sinks to the pit of his stomach– because you will never love him with the same intensity you love Hyunjin.

But it's been this way for years now; you are hopelessly in love with the prince of the neighboring country, while Seungmin is tragically in love with you. He really should just get over it already.

You've gone on and on and on about how Hyunjin is the ideal man– beautiful, educated, kind, dependable, artistic; everything Seungmin feels he cannot compare to. It's so pathetic, he feels pathetic; he never even put much thought on being of equal standing to the two of you until you started confiding in him about your feelings for Hyunjin, pouring out your heart and simultaneously breaking his with each new admission.

Seungmin himself didn't even realize how in love with you he was until he was firmly faced with rejection; and it's almost funny how he's rejected before he can even try.

"I just want him to like, finally see me as a woman, y'know? I'm not the little girl you guys grew up with anymore!" you wail before shoving your face into one of your many pillows, huffing and whining in frustration as you kick your feet up and down.

Apparently, you have come to find out that Hyunjin still views you as more of a sister than a potential lover, and you've spent the entire afternoon whining as you try to think of what else you can possibly do to make Hyunjin see you differently.

Seungmin wishes he could do the same– make you see him differently, as someone other than the best friend, almost brotherly figure you grew up with. But it's not meant to be, and Hyunjin has already won the race for your affection without even realizing he was part of it.

"Stop being so dramatic," Seungmin complains half-heartedly, hoping you think his deadpan tone comes from just being mildly annoyed and not in fact utterly heartbroken.

You lift your head from the pillows and glare at him, but he just rolls his eyes before he lets his own head fall back against the cushion of the chaise, staring up at your impossibly pristine ceiling. "But we're a perfect match! He's a prince, I'm a princess, and I love him!" you whine, throwing one of your pillows at Seungmin when all he does is scoff instead of console you.

He throws the pillow back at you without even turning his head in your direction, and you throw it back harder than you did before, making him finally turn his gaze back in your direction. "Will you stop? Crybaby," Seungmin says, hoping to shift the conversation back to something that doesn't tear his heart to shreds. "Maybe he'd like you more if you weren't such a brat when you don't get your way."

"Seungmin!" your frown grows as you cross your arms, "do you have to be so mean to me when I'm literally heartbroken?" He has a point, that's true enough– you are acting a bit like a spoiled brat right now. But he could at least wait until later to call you out on it!

You don't understand why he's always so mean when it comes to your feelings about Hyunjin. It's his personality to tease and be playfully mean in his banter, but when your feelings for your other best friend are the topic it never feels like it's purely in jest.

"Look, I get that he and his family are starting to consider who he'll marry, but it's not like he's actually seeing anyone yet. I'm sure you still have time," Seungmin suggests after a frustrated sigh, and you huff, falling back to the pillows and staring up at your ceiling with yet another dramatic sigh. "Maybe you just don't get it because you've never been in love. The thought of losing him to someone else is.. painful.."

It's a moment of real vulnerability at the end, the pain and fear in your voice when the last words leave your lips evident. If only you knew he does understand all too well, faced with the very same reality every single day. You deal with your pain by complaining to Seungmin in overdramatic displays, while he bottles it all up and shoves it as deep inside his heart as it can go, hoping that he won't have to acknowledge the pain again until he's alone, in the safety of his bedroom where no one can see or hear him agonize over his unrequited love.

But like Seungmin said, there's still time.. Hyunjin and his family are looking over marriage prospects together, but at the end of the day the choice is entirely Hyunjin's, and surely there's something you can do before he starts going on dates and falls in love with someone else. You shoot up quickly, the apparent clarity zapping you with an idea. "You're a genius, Minnie! I don't have to wait for him to return my feelings at all, I can do something!"

"Uh... you're welcome..?" Seungmin sits back up and looks over at you, and he instantly regrets it. You're looking at him with puppy dog eyes, lip pouty and hands clamped together in what is clearly a plea for help. He's not even sure he wants to know what you're thinking of roping him into– whatever plan it is you're crafting, nothing good can come from it. Especially not when your plot is being conjured by pure emotional need.

"Seungmin.. Be my boyfriend, please! Help me make him jealous," you plea and his eyes instantly widen, mouth hanging open in complete shock. He and Hyunjin have had to talk you out of a lot of irrational acts during their time as your friend, but this takes the fucking cake. There's no way you are asking him to do this. "You can't be serious," he says after the initial shock passes and now you scramble to the edge of the bed, pout growing as you try to convince him.

"Seungmin, please–" "Absolutely not, no," he cuts you off and the desperate, heartbroken look he's met with shatters the already microscopic pieces of his heart into even smaller pieces– a feat he didn't even think possible. It's almost impressive how you manage to break his heart without even realizing it.

"Please, you know there's no one else I can ask," you plea, now completely off the bed and just inches in front of him, clasping his hands in yours. There it is– Seungmin, the consolation prize. Seungmin, the one you turn to simply because Hyunjin isn't available. Seungmin, who gets dragged into schemes like this because he just can't live with himself if he knows you're genuinely upset.

Your puppy eyes looking at him so pleadingly paired with your soft hands desperately clutching his is enough to make him melt. He swallows, averting his gaze from your pouting lips and glassy eyes, trying to stay firm in his sentiment. "It's a bad idea," he says, voice short and impossibly tense, "what will you do if it doesn't work? If he's just like.. a good friend, and supports us being happy together?"

"But what if he doesn't? C'mon Minnie, we at least have to try!" you push on, your hands squeezing his tighter. The fact that his statement doesn't seem to deter you at all somehow makes the pain in his chest even worse. Like there's no reality in which Seungmin is the viable love interest for you, like the possibility that Hyunjin would concede your heart to him couldn't ever be reality, like the idea isn't even worth entertaining.

"I.." He hesitates as he finally looks at you again, your face still impossibly close to his, the earnest desperation for him to help you with this stupid idea making his chest feel impossibly tight. Seungmin likes to think he's good at pretending to not have feelings for you, but he doesn't think he can do it while also pretending to be your boyfriend.

How is he supposed to be so close to you and pretend it was all empty acts and words when the night is over? He'll tell you he loves you and you'll think it's part of the act, praise him for being so committed to the bit for your sake, thank him for pretending so effectively. You'll take his heart in your hands and twist and bleed and crush it, and you won't even know you're doing it. "Please?" you try once more and his resolve utterly crumbles.

It's stupid how much power you have over him. It's stupid how he can't stand firm against what is very clearly a disastrous idea. It's stupid how he's going to willingly allow his heart to be trampled upon just to make you happy. "..Fine," Seungmin finally breathes out his answer, conceding without all that much of a fight in the end.

You happily squeal and wrap your arms around him in a tight hug, thanking him over and over again. And despite himself, Seungmin smiles– because even though he's going to suffer, at least you'll be happy because of him, even if it's only for a short while. "You're the best, Minnie! I love you!" you beam, eyes crinkling with pure joy that he's going to help you.

"Yeah, yeah, you're welcome," he says as he wraps his arms around you in return. It's a mistake, but if it's for you then isn't it a mistake worth making? And he has to ignore the way his heart skipped a beat when you told him you loved him, has to remind himself that you'll never mean it in the way he wants you to, that every show of affection from this point onward will all be part of an elaborate performance.

The first rule of every fake relationship: set expectations and make a plan.

That's exactly why Seungmin finds himself visiting your room again following his foolish promise to be your pretend boyfriend. You bounce up to him in delight when he enters your room following a knock on the door, and he wishes that your excitement was genuinely for him, and not because you were going to be using him to make your shared best friend jealous.

Seungmin doesn't even believe Hyunjin will be jealous in the first place; he's never expressed having a romantic interest in you, and he thinks Hyunjin would confide in him if he did. But then again, it's not like Seungmin has ever confessed his feelings over you to Hyunjin either.. And the possibility that Hyunjin does love you, but simply never brought it up in the same way that Seungmin hasn't fills him with dread.

If this stupid plan works, and Seungmin actually helps you two come together.. he wants to think he'll be happy for you two, but who is he kidding? He'll be fucking gutted.

"You look handsome today, boyfriend," you tell Seungmin happily, and he immediately freezes in place, hoping his expression is more incredulous than it is embarrassingly flushed red. What a way to be ripped out of his spiraling thoughts.

"Can you warn me next time you're about to say something stupid?" Seungmin tries to play it off as he takes his usual place on your chaise. "Sorry, just practicing," you follow up with a giggle, and he simply sighs as he watches you sit next to him. He's really gotten himself into trouble this time around, but it's too late to rescind his agreement to help your cause.

"I don't think most couples literally call each other 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend' to their faces," Seungmin says, trying to smoothly ignore the 'handsome' part of your comment. It's superficial, you don't mean it, he already knows that; best not to let his mind dwell on a false hope of you one day meaning those words.

"Well duh, I already know that," you say as you roll your eyes, "I'm just getting into character!"

Ouch. You have to get into character to love him, huh? It's not like he's surprised to hear it, but it hurts all the same. "Can't be too sure with you, sheltered princess and all," he teases and you roll your eyes again. "I'm not that sheltered. And tv exists! I'll have you know romance is my favorite genre."

"Great, so you get all your knowledge on romance from tv? How promising," Seungmin continues and you shove him, though all he does in response is smile at you. "Whatever, it's not like you know what you're doing either. You've never even had a girlfriend," you say and for a moment you think Seungmin is going to shove you back, but he doesn't.

His hands rise and almost touch you, but he hesitates before ultimately lowering them back down to his lap. It's been that way since you started getting older, as if the days you'd play wrestle or sleep while hunched together or hold hands while skipping through the castle never happened. Thinking about it, he stopped doing things like that around the same time you brought up your feelings for Hyunjin.

You assume he was being considerate, trying to be hands off so Hyunjin didn't get the wrong idea, but.. You wonder why you didn't realize how much he's been keeping his distance from you and hesitating to touch you until now? (And in reality, he stopped touching you when he realized he had feelings for you, and not when you admitted you like Hyunjin, but he's never going to clarify that fact to you.)

The other day, when you clutched his hands in yours in a desperate plea, it was the first time you held hands since you were kids. That's a sad thought, for some reason.. Maybe part of you missed it more than you realized. Taking his hand in yours, you really allow yourself to experience it this time.

It's nostalgic, holding his hand; though Seungmin's hands are much bigger now than when you were kids, they feel the same. Warm, comforting, gentle. You wonder when the last time you did this was; you almost feel bad that you can't remember. You were once holding hands every single day and then you just.. stopped. You're not sure why the thought makes you as sad as it does; probably just the natural melancholy that comes with nostalgia, if you had to guess.

Seungmin awkwardly accepts your hold, looking at you curiously after he stops fidgeting his hand. "I kinda missed this," you admit, cheeks growing pink with the admission. You're not sure why saying it makes you blush– it's just Seungmin.

"Me too," he responds, his own face equally as pink, though he hopes you don't notice. He looks down at your hands, fingers laced together, and his heart stirs. Ignoring it, he looks back to you, expression nervous but entirely serious.

"So uh– your plan.. what exactly is it?" he asks, surprised when you answer immediately. Guess you put a lot of thought into it; because while your answer isn't rehearsed necessarily, it is confident. "Well, you got your invitation to the ball right? That's where we'll tell Hyunjin we're dating! It's the perfect setting."

"But you literally hate going to that thing– are we really going to go just for that?" The annual Hwang family ball is much more politics than it is dancing. Seungmin can't think of a single time you all attended and actually had fun without having to sneak away or cause a scene. At best it's boring and at worst you're spending the entire night being lectured on the future of your countries and how important it is to marry the right person for political power.

"Yeah, unless you have a better idea?" you frown as you look at Seungmin. He doesn't, unfortunately. He's not even sure he'd suggest it if he did have one, to be fair.

God, this is so stupid– he's stupid for agreeing to go along with this. Curse you and your ability to rope him into the worst things possible just by giving him a cute look.

And in the end, he easily accepts the plan; attend the ball, act like a lovey dovey couple, activate Hyunjin's underlying jealousy (that may not actually exist), and hopefully profit. In the meantime, you'll be "building credibility" by getting past all the awkwardness now, so that you can pass as a legit couple in front of Hyunjin when the time comes.

"You're really okay with this, right? It's okay to change your mind," you say with a compassionate squeeze to his hand. It takes Seungmin by surprise that you're actually considering his feelings– not to insinuate that you're entirely selfish or don't care about him, but you do tend to have a one track mind when it comes to your romantic feelings for Hyunjin.

You watch him carefully, his expression entirely unreadable to you. You wish you could tell what he was thinking in times like this, but he always becomes a stonewall when you bring up romance and your long harbored feelings.

You know it must be for a reason, but he never tells you what it is, and you can only assume the topic of love makes him uncomfortable; and while you're grateful for his help, you don't want him to push through discomfort just for your sake.

"..Yeah, I'm good. This is fine, everything's fine," he finally says. You don't entirely believe him, but you don't press him on it– he'll just argue with you if you don't take his word for it.

Stupid. You were clearly offering him an out and he just accepted his role as your emotional martyr. But who is he kidding– it's not like he would've been able to answer any differently, ever a slave to your whims. Whether you realize it or not, you have him in the palm of your hands, and Seungmin would do anything to make you happy– even at the detriment to himself.

"So.. uh, do you want to kiss me?" you transition and Seungmin has to make a conscious effort to not choke on his own spit. Because how are you asking him that so casually?

"No, you're gross," he answers; a lie, obviously, but he didn't realize this fake relationship would entail anything other than mild displays of affection and maybe the use of pet names. If he kisses you, it's over for him. Completely, utterly over– he'll never be able to pretend you're just his friend ever again.

You roll your eyes as you let go of his hand, and he frowns; he misses the warmth already, but what right does he have? "You can just say no without the 'gross' comment, asshole," you shove him again.

Seungmin is always mean to you, so it's not like you weren't expecting a comment like that when you decided to bring up kissing. You might've hoped for a different reaction, but you certainly weren't expecting anything profound or romantic.

...Why were you hoping for a different reaction in the first place?

"No, that's– I'm sorry, that's not what I meant, I just–" You blink at him, surprised to see him floundering to admit you're not actually gross to him; it's almost endearing how Seungmin fumbles with his words.

Poor Seungmin– being mean to you is his only defense mechanism and now it's going to bite him in the ass. No wonder you don't have feelings for him.

In reality, he thinks you're pretty. So fucking pretty. And he wants to kiss you more than he's ever wanted anything. "Force of habit," he finally says, swallowing down his true thoughts and feelings, as usual.

Thankfully, you accept his answer easily; he's not sure whether you truly believe him or not, but he'll take what he can get. "Have you ever kissed someone?" you decide to ask, moving swiftly along after taking his answer at face value. Thank God.

"Once," he answers, and oh, that's a surprise; you expected him to say 'no,' to be like you– with zero experience. You're best friends– why hasn't he told you..?

To be fair, it's not that Seungmin kissed someone– he was the one being kissed by someone else. The distinction is very important! And he can see the question lingering before you even ask it, so he takes the initiative in answering. "It was awkward. I didn't.. feel the same way as them."

"Oh. I didn't realize there are people that like you," you say and Seungmin instantly shoots you with an incredulous look. "Ouch," he deadpans.

"No, sorry– I didn't mean for that to sound so mean, I swear," you promise with an awkward laugh. At least now you're equal on the 'making unintentionally hurtful comments' front.

You've thought at great length what it would be like if Hyunjin started dating someone, but you're just now realizing you never put any thought into Seungmin dating someone. You guess you just always expected that he'd be there; you never stopped to think about what would happen if he wasn't, never even considered it a possibility that he wouldn't always be right there next to you.

And it would happen eventually, wouldn't it? And what about when you and Hyunjin are a couple; you two will have each other and Seungmin will.. well, you don't know what he'll do. But you don't like the thought of him being anymore distant. What a way to realize how selfish you're being.

“Sucks that it was awkward,” you eventually say, ignoring the way guilt starts to eat at you. No surprise that the selfish princess doesn’t want to confront the issue of potentially having perpetuated a one sided friendship just yet.

“Yeah.. honestly, I felt bad. I’m sure it took a lot of courage to confess and kiss me, but I,” already had feelings for you, he thinks, but obviously opts to say something else, “just didn’t feel the same.”

Lord knows Seungmin will never have that same level of courage; to put yourself out there and confess only to be met firmly with rejection is terrifying. And he knows you don’t feel the same, so why even try? Being a coward suits him perfectly fine in this case.

“Why didn’t you accept anyways? You might’ve returned the feelings after becoming a couple and growing closer to them,” you ask, earnestly curious. You think you would give someone a chance if they confessed to you if you weren’t already so in love with Hyunjin.

But as far as you knew, Seungmin didn’t have feelings for anyone, so there would’ve been nothing to lose from trying. If only that were true– his life would be much easier if he wasn’t earth shatteringly in love with you.

“Mm, maybe. But if months went by and I still didn’t, I would’ve felt scummy. Like I was stringing them along and giving them a false promise, y’know? And I don’t wanna be that guy,” Seungmin answers, keeping out the major detail of ‘I’m also impossibly in love with you and dating someone while being in love with your best friend is definitely frowned upon.’

“Wow. I think I respect you more after that,” you say and Seungmin scoffs, unable to hide the smile that breaks on his lips. “Gee, thanks. Glad to know you didn’t respect me before now.”

“Hey, I clearly said ‘respect you more!’ Meaning I did respect you, thank you very much,” you laugh. There’s a silence that follows when the giggling dies down and the smiles fade, with Seungmin looking at you carefully. Right. He’s here to be your fake boyfriend. Better get back to the quest at hand.

“So.. I’m not actually gross, huh?” you ask, bringing the conversation back to where it began. “Only a little,” he teases, laughing when you grab a spare cushion to shove at him.

“Stop being mean, I’m trying to be serious!” You whine as he tosses the cushion you shoved in his face to the floor. “Okay, okay,” Seungmin says, his expression softening as he looks at you.

In reality, he thinks you’re perfect; but it’s much easier to tease and pretend you disgust him than to face how beautiful he thinks you are. But with how seriously you’re taking this entire thing, it seems he’s going to have to be more earnest with himself, and you, than he was prepared to be.

He really fucked himself over this time around.

"Theoretically.." you start, chewing on your lip before you continue, "Hypothetically–"

"Those words mean the same thing," Seungmin can't help but interrupt, laughing as you shove him and tell him to 'shut the fuck up.' You hate him sometimes– fucking menace to your sanity, you swear.

"Hypothetically," you continue when he's done laughing and you're sure he's ready to take you seriously, "assuming you're being honest and I'm not gross. Would you want to kiss me?"

Well, guess there's no avoiding it now. It's time for the thing Seungmin fears most– some good, old fashioned honesty about his feelings. "Yes," is all he says; no further elaboration, no talk on whether or not this is still strictly in the realm of hypotheticals, or if he'd only be okay with it under some sort of condition being met. Just.. yes, he'd want to kiss you– wants to kiss you. That's it.

You can’t believe how easily he conceded in the end; you wonder if another mean, teasing joke is inbound, or if he doesn’t quite get what you’re insinuating.

"You know I mean on the lips right? Like.. an actual kiss?" You ask, wanting to ensure you're on the same page and he's not just thinking, like.. forehead or cheek kisses or something. All of which will still be part of this fake relationship, but still; better to make sure everything is clarified.

"Yeah, I assumed that," he replies and you simply blink. You're not sure why, but that does something to your heart. "And.. you're okay with that..?"

"Yeah..? I thought we established I didn't mean it when I said you're gross. I was just teasing," he says plainly, as if the topic you're discussing is completely normal. And well, maybe that's the attitude you should have too– it's no big deal, right?

It's not that strange for two best friends to kiss, it happens all the time! And this was all your idea in the first place; you don't even understand why you feel so weird about it all of the sudden. Sure, not thinking you're gross and wanting to kiss you are two different things entirely, but you're thinking about it too hard.

Seungmin is just being a good friend to you. He's nonchalant about it because all of this is simple; it's supposed to be simple. Just one friend casually helping out another. If anything, it's a relief he has no hang ups about it, right? It makes this whole thing easier!

(The reality: he is not nonchalant in the slightest. He is practically screaming inside over the idea of kissing you– you just don't know it.)

Blushing and heart twisting for reasons beyond your understanding, you opt to just take his hand in yours again instead, averting your eyes from him and training them off to the distance. Your bedroom walls are very interesting all of a sudden.

"Maybe later," you mumble and he nods, relieved as he squeezes your hand. Yeah, maybe later. He doesn't think he's ready to fall for you even harder just yet anyways.

Weeks pass, and your fake relationship develops slowly but organically thanks to the Hwang's ball being further away still. You expected becoming "natural" in your relationship would take time, which is why you wanted to get a headstart on practicing being close. Your heart still stirs in unexpected moments, but mostly you feel comfortable, which is perfect.

Some awkwardness and shy closeness would be natural, but you can't appear stiff in front of Hyunjin if you want to pass as a genuine couple– the goal is for the relationship to look fresh, not forced. Due to this, you and Seungmin hold hands a lot these days.

You like it, to be honest. It reminds you of all these thoughts and memories you hadn't lingered on in years. Of play dates and toothless smiles and laughing as you trip and tumble and grow dirty. You missed it.

You missed this too– cuddling, same as the hand holding. It's something you hadn't done since you were kids, and similarly, you couldn't remember the last time you had done it before now. You find yourself thinking it's a shame you ever stopped.

You're currently laying against him, head on his shoulder while one of his arms is wrapped around your waist, legs tangled together on your obscenely large sofa while some movie you long since stopped paying attention to plays on your equally large tv.

You practiced calling each other pet names, but they all felt weird– in the end, the only thing that felt natural was sticking to calling each other stupid, idiot, asshole, brat.. And somehow hearing Seungmin call you a selfish brat before he hugs you with a smile makes your heart skip a beat these days.

It doesn't make sense, but you don't let yourself dwell on it or think about it too hard– this is all for a purpose, and it's better to just leave it at that. When you suggested trying out cuddling today, you didn’t expect your mind to go to so many complicated places.

"Hey Minnie, do you remember the last time we cuddled like this?" you decide to ask him, tilting your head up to be able to catch a glimpse at him.

"Yeah. We were 12," he answers easily, and you can just barely see this corner of his mouth lifted in a fond smile.

"Really?" you question and he tilts his head to look at you. He answered so quickly; no delay in the slightest, didn't even have to waste any time thinking on it or trying to remember– he just.. already knew. The instantaneous ease in which he responded surprises you as equally as it fills you with guilt.

"Of course. You don't remember?" he asks and the pangs of guilt over not being able to remember yourself grow painfully. You never expected to feel so terrible over something so small.

"Not really.." you answer with a frown; you wish you did, especially since Seungmin seems to have his own memory of your childhood closeness perfectly intact, but you simply.. don't remember.

"Wow, I'm so hurt. You care for me so little," Seungmin teases, but all you can do is continue to frown. You can't bring yourself to hit him with a witty quip or joke that you hate him– because part of you worries that how inattentive you've been thus far would give rise to him one day believing your statements made to poke fun are how you truly feel. And right now you just honestly, truly feel bad.

His expression softens when he realizes you're genuinely saddened, assuming it's because he took the teasing too far by insinuating you don't care about him. In reality, it's not him you're upset with, but yourself. And it stings to realize that maybe what he says isn't completely wrong– maybe you really have cared about him too little.

Maybe if you weren't so hyperfocused on love and romance with Hyunjin, you'd have realized sooner how much you put your friendship with Seungmin on the wayside. You wish you'd been a better friend.

"It's to be expected actually,” Seungmin attempts to rectify his mistake in wording (though truly it's not his fault, or a ‘mistake’– your guilt is your own, and all he did was unintentionally spark some much needed self reflection.) “You were sick as fuck and loaded on cough syrup."

"Oh!" You exclaim suddenly, a vague memory in the very back of your mind becoming clearer now. Just as Seungmin said, you were 12 and suffering from the worst cold you'd ever had in your entire life. You felt like you were dying and it was your own fault it happened; a blizzard had just passed, and you insisted on playing in the freshly fallen heaps of snow with your two best friends.

The lake near the castle had completely frozen over in the storm, and despite being repeatedly warned how unsafe it is to play on a frozen lake, you were just a kid who thought you were invincible. Every kid is overconfident and zealous, truly believing no harm or wrong can come to them until the world teaches them a lesson in humility– and that's exactly what happened that day.

You skated around on the frozen lake, paying no heed to any of the warnings you received, laughing and giggling without a care in the world even as you slipped and slid around on the slick surface of the ice. But eventually you fell, of course you did, it was ice– and the moment your weight collided with the surface of the lake, it cracked.

It's hard to remember what followed– all you really remember was how your whole body froze the minute it touched the icy water, as if all your limbs had become pure lead. But Seungmin was there, and Hyunjin too, and they pulled you out and got you back inside as fast as they were able. It honestly came as no surprise that you got sick following your unceremonious ice bath.

Seungmin and Hyunjin got a bit sick too, but their sniffles and slight coughs paled in comparison to your symptoms. Hyunjin's parents made him return home to shake off his cold, but Seungmin's didn't mind if he got over his slight cold with you in the castle. Even with the spark of clarity it's all still vague, but you can just remember it now– how Seungmin was glued to your side the entire rest of the week as your body tried to fight off the illness.

He was there when your attendants woke you to take your medicine, he was there when you drank your water and sipped your soup, he rubbed your back when you coughed and stroked your head when you complained that it hurt. He was.. sweet. The entire time. The usual Seungmin who teased and complained was nowhere to be seen, even when you unintentionally got snot on his shirt.

Instead, he was just sincerely caring. And he cuddled you, let you soak up all his warmth because no matter how many layers of blankets you were under and despite the constant fueling of the fire in your fireplace, you still felt so impossibly cold.

"I remember now," you tell him and the smile you're met with stirs something within you. Or maybe it's the memory of how sweet he can be when he's not being a jackass. Maybe it's how underneath his layers of teasing comments and sarcastic words, he's genuine.

He remembers things, always remembers things, even when the moments are small and fleeting. And maybe it's how even when he complains or calls you a selfish brat, he'd still do anything for you. Even now, years later, he's still just the same in that regard.

Seungmin cares about you, would do anything for you, wants you happy even when your happiness causes him trouble and inconvenience. All his sarcasm and jokes at your expense will fade the minute you're genuinely unwell, he'll drop everything he's doing the minute you need him for something serious; because underneath his layers and walls, he'll always be someone selfless and kind.

You sit up ever so slightly, just enough to get a clearer view of him while still tangled in his arms and legs. You breathe his name in a whisper, and his eyes dart around your face as he tries to figure out what you’re doing, what you’re thinking while looking at him so.. attentively. It makes him nervous when you look at him like that, makes him feel like you can see right through him and read his every thought, like he’s nothing but cellophane.

And you kiss him. You kiss him. Soft and chaste, your lips just barely pressed to his, but still he crumbles, his sandcastle heart caught by your wave. His weak heart pounds, his blood races through his veins, he blinks in surprise and still can't seem to find himself or formulate a thought even when you pull away. What even just happened?

"S-Sorry," you flush instantly as you turn your eyes away from Seungmin's heating face.

You can't believe you just kissed your best friend like that. And like.. you fully expected to give Seungmin your first kiss as part of this whole charade, but it was supposed to be a moment that only happened after meticulous planning and mental preparation. This was undeniably, purely the heat of the moment.

"Uh, I– it just.. felt right. For practice..?" you stumble as you try to formulate an excuse for your own unexpected actions. Yeah. It was for practice, that's all. You aren't in love with him– you love Hyunjin. What you felt when you kissed him just now was.. something else. That's what you tell yourself, because it's the only thing that makes sense.

"Oh, right. Yeah, that makes sense," Seungmin utters quietly, sounding almost.. disappointed. You look at him again, and catch just a glimpse of sadness in his eyes before it fades completely, almost as if it was never there.

And maybe it wasn't– maybe you're projecting, somehow? Do you want Seungmin to be sad that the kiss doesn't mean more? You don't know. It's confusing.

And you hate that you don't know why it's confusing, that you don't understand where all these conflicting thoughts and feelings are coming from and what they mean. You don't want to admit it, but maybe he was right; maybe this whole thing wasn't a good idea.

He sees the struggle on your face, but there's no way for him to know that it's due to confusion about your feelings, how you liked kissing him and how you don't know what that says about you or about your feelings– for him, or for Hyunjin.

Instead, he worries that you hated it, that kissing him filled you with disgust and regret and now you were trying to figure out how you can ever look at him again. But you do look at him again, of course you do.

And despite the confusion and the struggle from your complex, raging emotions, you meet his eyes softly. You reach for a hand and squeeze, and once again he feels like you see right through him, see all the ugly dread and guilt and sorrow that comes from being in love with you.

You see him and he sees you; and though it's confusing, and clearly disastrous, neither of you want to let whatever this is go just yet.

"Do you.. want to keep practicing..?" he asks hesitantly, a hint of hope in his unsteady voice. A hope he shouldn't have, a hope he feels you will sternly reject.

But you don't. You smile at him, a timid one he thought only ever reserved for Hyunjin, and you nod. "Yeah, do you?" you ask, and all Seungmin replies with is a simple "yeah" of his own before your lips are on his again.

You kiss him and he kisses you, and sometimes it's awkward as you bump noses or ever so slightly miss and instead kiss the corner of his mouth, but in the end it all becomes natural, rhythmic, easy.

Butterflies thrash in your stomach, your heart races, your face burns, his lips are soft and warm and perfect, and through it all, for the first time in all your years, you stop thinking about Hyunjin, and linger exclusively on Seungmin.

Kissing Seungmin makes you feel strange. It doesn't feel bad, nor wrong, or uncomfortable; but strange because of what it evokes in you. When he left for his guest room that night, and you had more time to think about what you’d done, you came to the conclusion that the butterflies would pass now that it was over.

You only felt them because kissing, regardless of it being with your best friend, was foreign and new. You thought that as you got used to kissing him, that deceitful fluttering in your stomach would gradually fade.

You expected that kissing him would become as second nature to you as holding hands, and eventually you’d feel.. maybe not nothing when kissing him, but certainly you wouldn't still be so reactive.

What has actually happened is rather the opposite; your heart skips a beat when he enters your room now, you unconsciously flush whenever he holds you closer, your stomach knots itself when he smiles following a kiss.

He smiles a lot more these days; or maybe you only perceive it that way because part of you wants it to mean something more than it does. That’s what frustrates you most of all; no matter how much you tell yourself it’s just practice, that this means nothing to either of you and is only a means to an end, you find yourself struggling to come to peace with that idea.

Confusion and guilt eat at you, complex feelings and emotions you didn’t even know you had rising to the surface one after the next, protesting being ignored and making themselves acutely known. And there’s a question that burns in the back of your mind, something you’re scared to confront but know you must before this is over– is your love for Hyunjin genuine or superficial?

Do you love him the way a lover truly would, or do you love the idea of being with him? The idea that your romance would be a picture perfect fairytale, because he’s a prince and you’re a princess and those two things just naturally go together.

Perhaps your understanding of love is inherently naive and flawed; perhaps all these years spent pining, you were chasing an ideal rather than a person. But misguided though it may be, your love for Hyunjin has to be true; because apart from being one of your best friends, he’s objectively perfect for you.

Seungmin is rough and jagged, while Hyunjin is polished and smooth. Though more tempered and refined than yourself, Hyunjin matches your flair for the dramatic, while Seungmin is oppositely rooted firmly in reality. Where Hyunjin is elegant words and gentle smiles, Seungmin is sarcasm and rolled eyes.

But that’s not entirely true, you know it isn’t; because while Seungmin is indeed sarcastic and mean and sometimes rough around the edges, he’s also gentle, and sincere, and passionate.

He doesn’t show that softness within as easily as Hyunjin does, he's built up walls as he grew older for reasons that you couldn't begin to understand, but maybe that’s what makes it more special when he does let them fall, how you know he truly means it when he does something kind. His sweet smiles carry far more weight and depth than you ever stopped to realize.

“You okay? What’s up with you today?” Seungmin asks, careful but with a hint in his voice that he’s ready to tease depending on how you respond. Right. The reason you called him over today.

You chew your lip as you look at him, and you know he’s been able to tell all day that something was off with you. You wanted to call this whole thing off, if you’re being honest; tell him you realized he was right, he’s always right, and this was a terrible idea that you shouldn’t have dragged him into.

But the moment you faced him you lost all your nerve. Your mouth ran dry, the words lodged themselves in your throat, and you couldn’t bring yourself to speak them. It’s so fucking selfish, but you realized that without this fake relationship keeping you together, the distance between you would return.

Once the charade is over, he’ll go back to hardly ever returning your touch, to emotional walls stacked so high you fear you could never climb them, to strained smiles and equally strained words. You’re not sure why Seungmin is more open these days; maybe intimacy and closeness, no matter the cause and regardless of lack of romantic intent attached to them, is enough to naturally break down a person’s barriers.

You don’t even know why he has barriers, why he shields himself from you so strongly when you’re his best friend, but now that you’ve experienced him without his walls, you don’t want to go back. You’re terrible and selfish and it’s hardly a justification to keep your fake relationship going, but still..

“Are you getting nervous?” he tries again; the ball is approaching quickly now, and he suspects maybe you’re off because you fear your performance as a couple won’t be good enough, that maybe you won’t be as believable as you need to be.

You want to tell him he’s probably right, that it’s just nerves and you’ll get over it and everything will be fine with the moment comes, but you know that’s not all there is to it.

It feels so stupid looking back on how excitedly you chose a new dress for the occasion, planned how you’d match with Seungmin, parade yourself on his arm and bat your eyelashes at him while calling him the sweetest names you could come up with, all so Hyunjin would look on and maybe get jealous.

You didn’t listen when Seungmin warned you it was a bad idea, didn’t entertain the truth that Hyunjin would likely be a good friend and not intervene, didn’t want to acknowledge how tunnel-visioned and selfish the fairytale romance you pursued made you.

You kissed Seungmin, held his hands, hugged him close and cuddled him tight. Your heart ached and stomach fluttered and you ignored every blaring alarm in your brain because the ends were supposed to justify the means. And now you’re going to ruin not just one friendship, but two; because you don’t know how you’re going to face either of them when it all inevitably crashes and burns.

“I just.. aren’t I being really selfish? You told me this was stupid but I didn’t listen, and now I feel like.. like I'm taking advantage of your kindness, and I'm going to lose you when this is over," you blurt it all out, watch as his eyebrows furrow and his expression changes.

Emotions flash through his eyes, indiscernible and unreadable as they always are before he steels himself and hides whatever it was away. What does he feel, and why won't he share it with you? Is it regret, frustration, exasperation..? All of them would be perfectly justified.

It hurts, but you realize Seungmin will never tell you what he's thinking or feeling. He will never sincerely admit it when you've wronged him, never confess to having any negative feelings beyond superficial teasing over it. Is it because you're the princess, and he feels like it's what he should do? Is it just how he is as a person?

You don't know; but even if he won't tell you himself that he hates this, you can't let it go on. You swallow, clench your hands into fists and finally make a selfless decision; one you should’ve made before all these weeks passed you by, and you became attached to a version of your best friend you were never supposed to have. “We should stop.”

Seungmin looks almost hurt before he lets out a laugh; you can’t tell if it’s based in self-deprecation, irony, annoyance, or something even further beyond what you can understand from him.

“I agreed to this,” he says, grabbing your arm and making you look at him again when you try to turn away and avoid his gaze, “I wanted– I want to help you. You know that, right? I know I can be difficult sometimes, but I’d never lie about that.”

Maybe you are terribly selfish, and maybe you are taking advantage of him, and maybe his heart will shrivel and die the moment this ends, but he doesn’t fucking care. He can be selfish too, and his selfishness makes him want to hold on to you for as long as he can, even if it’s fake, even if you never love him; pretending to is enough, it’s all he needs.

“That’s the problem though, isn’t it? You’re always so selfless, you always indulge me, and I just..” you trail off; you don’t know what more you can bring yourself to say.

He’s difficult, he’s frustrating, and he’s mean, but he’s not cruel. You know how sweet he actually is, how much he’d sacrifice for you if you asked him too. It’s time you stopped relying on him for stupid shit like this, stop dragging him into your petty, dumb, naive problems and grow up a little.

Stop being the selfish princess you were raised to be and start being someone worthy of Seungmin’s unwavering friendship instead. You’d never intentionally hurt him, but the problem is you certainly have– countless times that you probably aren’t even conscious of because your self reflection has come just a little too late.

You started this whole thing because the idea of losing Hyunjin made your heart ache; but the idea of losing Seungmin, that knowledge that you’ve very likely taken and hurt and been a terrible friend for years doesn’t just make your heart ache– it rips it out entirely.

It’s strange and awful, how you always considered them both best friends but are only just realizing how different those friendships actually worked– and how losing Seungmin as a friend is far more gutting than losing a potential lover in Hyunjin.

And logically you know Seungmin would never hate you, would call you selfish or stupid or annoying but would absolutely never actually think badly of you, and that makes it all the worse. He wears a mask for you, you know it’s true even if you want to deny it; but the mask he wears is cracked, the paint is worn, and knowing it could all be your fault makes you feel impossibly anguished and sick.

Seungmin frowns and lets you look away, though he still hesitates to let you go. He does though, eventually, and he falls to his back on your bed with a sigh. “You don’t need to worry about me, this is all fine, I’m fine,” he says but you don’t entirely trust him.

He’s too stubborn and selfless to admit you’ve ever hurt him, knows it would gut you to realize what you’ve done to him, and so he chooses to say nothing about it at all. Because regardless of the boundary of friend and lover and where you both lie in between those words, he loves you– not that you feel you deserve it.

This isn’t entirely your fault either; he gave in way too easily. He knew it was a bad idea and he should’ve been more stern, made you see reason even if it made you cry and pout and whine for hours on end.

He knows you're selfish and spoiled and a little naive when it comes to what romance means but he didn’t do anything to genuinely shut you down– because beneath it all, he’s just as selfish as you, and he wanted to be your boyfriend for a just a little while, even if being your boyfriend meant nothing.

His walls are down but he’s still not being completely honest, you know he isn’t. The mask is back on but the cracks have grown, exposing more of the real Seungmin beneath, and he can’t hide himself away as easily as he used to– because now you’ve seen them.

The cracks, the imperfections, the instability. And you’ve taken them all in, deduced that they’re your fault, and you won’t let it go– because that’s what stubborn people like you do. You pick and you prod and you poke, until something bends or breaks and you finally get the result you want.

But what do you want? To stop playing pretend? For Seungmin to admit that yeah, you have hurt him sometimes– not that he blames you. He knows it wasn’t ever once intentional, and he was never going to hold anything against you or leave you behind.

Or maybe you want him to admit he’s in love with you. Maybe you want him to say that he’s just as fucking hopelessly in love with you as you are with Hyunjin, and that the love he feels for you foolishly allowed for things to get way farther than they should have.

You look at him hesitantly, the way he’s fallen onto your bed, his shirt ridden half up his stomach from the fall and the way his caramel colored hair fans out around him. He’s beautiful and despite everything you’ve just said, you want to crawl on his lap and kiss him. You try to blink the thought away, to scrub your mind clean from thoughts you shouldn’t be having.

He sees the way your eyes linger on his lips, how you internally struggle between what you think you should and shouldn’t do, how even now you are trying to spare him when he doesn’t need to be spared. Consume him whole, eat away at him until there’s nothing left, he doesn’t fucking care– he just wants you, even if it’s temporary, even if you throw him away in the end in favor of someone better.

Not if, he has to remind himself, but when– because it’s inevitable, because you’ll never love him as more than a friend.

Seungmin reaches out to you, is close to touching you, but just as he used to, he hesitates before he drops his hand. The distance returns, and that should be a good thing; it hurts, but isn’t it what’s right? You don’t.. You’re not in love with him.

You can’t be– you just.. value him as a friend and don’t want to do anything to strain your friendship anymore than you already have. Everything you feel is confusing and weird and you don't know what to do with what you have now.

What to do with your urge to be closer to him, or the way you blush when he smiles and calls you names, or how the content sighs he lets out while kissing and cuddling makes your stomach do flips. How the way he unconsciously squeezes you tighter fills you with butterflies, or how the way his hands linger before you begin to separate makes you want to go crawling back to his open arms.

And there’s the impure thoughts– the ones you’ve never even had about Hyunjin despite being in love with him. The ones you have when you see his shirt ridden up like it is now, or how those sighs when you kiss him would sound if you took things just a step further.

You used to daydream about pure things like sharing a romantic dance or being given flowers on an anniversary– now your thoughts linger on things like Seungmin’s tongue in your mouth and his hand between your thighs. Things you definitely shouldn’t be daydreaming about if you’re as in love with Hyunjin as you say you are.

You suck in a trembling breath and again try to push the thoughts you shouldn’t have away. Seungmin’s expression is contemplative and gentle now, full of a care you don’t deserve. It’s no surprise he can read you like an open book, can tell you’re more upset about this than you should be.

It should be a comfort that this charade is coming to an end, but all you feel is sharp, stinging guilt and unbearable pain in your chest. Your eyes burn and you feel as if you’re going to cry, but how terrible would that be? It would almost feel manipulative to cry in front of him now, after having put all that effort into trying to go back to normalcy.

You’re so frustrated with yourself, so impossibly frustrated; you squeeze your clenched fists, your nails dig into your palms, your tears threaten to spill and you look away from Seungmin before they do. Because he’ll comfort you, and that’s not what you deserve. Obviously he knows, it’s not like you can hide it very well, but he doesn’t say anything.

Instead, he reaches out again– and this time, he doesn’t stop himself or hesitate. The distance you’ve put between you has already closed again. He pulls you down to him, makes you fall against his chest, your head winding up somewhere between his heart and his shoulder.

You can still hear it from your position above it, and the steady thumping soothes you. “The ball is soon,” he says quietly, “we can go as planned, and then decide what will happen with us after. If you still want to stop after that, it’s okay. Just.. don’t give up too soon.”

You can tell he’s trying to sound sure of himself, but he’s just as lost in all this as you are. And though you still feel rattled with guilt and uncertainty, you nod. You trust Seungmin, and you may as well see this fake relationship through to the end– and the Hwang ball is where you meet that end, one way or another.

“Okay..” you mumble, chest tight and stomach knotted with guilt, but you do your best not to spiral again, to trust Seungmin’s word when he says you haven’t done wrong by him.

He calls your name and you look up at him expectantly. His mouth opens, he goes to speak, but whatever he wants to say is swallowed back down, and is instead replaced with something more familiar.

“You’re.. really annoying,” he whispers before he kisses you, and there’s a relief that spreads through your veins. “Asshole,” you whisper back and you feel him smile, the comfortable normalcy returning even in this situation that is anything but normal.

You’re both stupid and stubborn and there’s no way this ends without someone having a broken heart, but for now it’s okay. For now, it’s all Seungmin needs; to be close to you and touch you and hold you and know that you were his, for however brief and false a time it may have been.

“Do you think we should share a guest room to make this more believable?” you mumble while walking through the halls of the Hwang Castle, hand intertwined with Seungmin’s while he carries both his luggage and your own.

Hyunjin obviously prepared your rooms separately as you haven’t announced your relationship to him yet– not that it’s going to last much longer anyways. Whether you end up with Hyunjin by night's end or not, your fake relationship with Seungmin can’t proceed beyond this.

“I dunno,” Seungmin replies, though your question was more absentminded musing than a genuine question you were expecting to have answered by him. “Maybe? Technically speaking, we’ve been “dating” for a couple months now. It’d probably be normal.”

You hum and contemplate his answer for a moment before you look at Seungmin with a smile. “Let’s share my room then! Hyunjin always gives me the biggest room available.”

“I fucking knew it,” Seungmin says in faux-exasperation as you giggle. He always felt like his guest rooms were smaller than yours; and he doesn't actually care, but it's fun to act like it bothers him, and it's even better to hear you laugh. “Spoiled brat. Still need luxury even when you’re in someone else’s place, huh?”

“Naturally. What kind of princess would I be if I didn’t get the best of everything?” He rolls his eyes despite the way a smile tugs on his lips and a laugh threatens to break. You turn a hall, and finally your guest rooms begin to come into sight– you've been to Hyunjin's place enough to know the layout, but it still doesn't make getting to the guest hall any less of a trek.

Seungmin unlinks your hands when you approach the double doors of the castle's best guest room, fumbling in his pocket for the keys you were given for just a moment before he finds the right one. He unlocks the door, walks inside with you and sets your luggage down in the corner of the room before turning to look at you.

“You sure you want me to stay? I don’t mind going to my own room,” Seungmin offers and you quickly shake your head– maybe a little too quickly, but you won’t acknowledge how eager for him to stay you seem.

“Well, I’ll probably need help getting ready,” you say; an excuse, sure, but it’s reasonable at least. But what about after that? When the ball is over and so too is your act, regardless of whether you get results with Hyunjin or not– would Seungmin still stay? Would you want him to stay? You think you would; you don’t know what that means or what it says about you, but it’s honestly what you’d want.

“If you’re sure, I'll make myself comfortable then,” Seungmin says as he flops himself on the extravagant guest bed. There’s still a couple of hours until the ball, and since he won’t take nearly as long getting ready as you, he decides it’s a good idea to get in a short nap.

Traveling always makes him tired, after all– especially when he’s going from your castle all the way to Hyunjin’s. He yawns and stretches out before he closes his eyes, and your eyes linger on him fondly for a moment before you turn to where Seungmin set your luggage.

You rummage through your bags for everything you need to get ready; toiletries, makeup, your dress– you collect them all in your arms and carry them to the attached bathroom. You spend a fair amount of time in the shower; half of it spent diligently and meticulously scrubbing over your body, and the other half simply standing beneath the hot water, staring at nothing as your mind struggles with the possible outcomes of the night.

You shake your head, try to dispel the bubbling anxiety for the fate of your friendships before turning off the water to dry off. You'll focus on your makeup– be just as methodical and careful in the application as you were with washing yourself. After all, feeling good about the outside can help you feel good about the inside; surely you'll feel better once you're all glamed up!

You hold your dress up to your body when you're finished with your makeup, and imagine briefly how you’ll look in it while standing in front of the large, ornate mirror. That’s the downside to ordering online– you have no idea how the dress will actually fit you, but you hope you’ll look pretty.

Nerves hit you again as you look at yourself, but you swallow them down the best you can as you lie the dress on the sink counter. You don’t know what you’re hoping for tonight anymore; whether you want Hyunjin to see you with Seungmin and get jealous, or if you want him to think you are a sweet couple and support you sincerely.

It doesn’t matter either way; nothing about this is genuine. And you’re not sure if you can be happy with yourself if Hyunjin is jealous and realizes he likes you over a lie. But you’ve come this far, you’re already here and Seungmin has reassured you over and over again that this is something he thinks you should see through, so.. That’s all you have left to do. Just see it through until the end.

Getting your underwear on, and then carefully slipping on your dress, here is where you need Seungmin’s help. It’s near impossible for you to pull up the zipper that lies along the spine of your dress, even if you stretch and reach behind you as far as your arm can go. Holding a hand to your chest so that the dress doesn’t slip back down your body, you carefully open the bathroom door and peek outside into the main room.

You weren’t sure if Seungmin really fell asleep after you’d left him alone in the room, but peeking out now, you can tell that he has. He’s in the same position on the bed as when you left him, his eyes serenely closed and breathing steady.

You call his name, but he doesn’t react; so you try once more, raising your voice this time, but you’re still met with nothing in response. You step out of the bathroom and up to the bed cautiously, and you make one last effort to wake him by calling his name just in case.

It doesn’t work, of course; you didn’t really think it would anyways if you’re being honest, but it didn’t hurt to try. You cautiously reach out to his shoulder, and do your best to rouse him awake while still holding your dress up with your other hand. Seungmin slowly blinks awake, mumbling something you can’t decipher as his senses slowly return to reality one by one.

He blinks a few times more, processing the sight before him; you leaning towards him, your dress loosely covering your body with the support of the hand not placed on his shoulder. He refuses to let his eyes linger on the image of your barely concealed cleavage before him, instead putting all of his effort into looking back up to your face.

"Need my help now?" he correctly assumes, and you nod as you straighten back up. Seungmin sits up from the bed, watches you as you turn to return to the bathroom, expecting him to follow.

He does his best to ignore what the sight of your exposed skin does to him; the only reason he has this view is because you trust him and view him as a best friend– he really can't afford to be having any impure thoughts about you. (A little late for that in all honesty, but he'll atone for it later.)

The door is wide open, but he knocks on the doorframe to announce himself before he steps through; a sign of respect and decency. "Thanks," you smile at him briefly as he steps inside the bathroom and takes his place behind you. "I can't zip it up on my own," you explain, and yeah, he can see that clearly; the bottom of the zipper lies on your tailbone, your panties ever so slightly peeking in the v-shape the zipper creates with the two sides of your dress.

He swallows and pretends he doesn't notice, instead looking to where the zipper ends just around your shoulder blades. “Do you think Hyunjin will think I look good?” you can’t help but ask as Seungmin’s hand falls to your zipper, slowly pulling it up. It gives you goosebumps– not the cold zipper on your skin, but the way his hand feels just over your spine, running along it as he zips up your dress.

You're not sure what reply you hope to hear; maybe it's a question with no right answer. “He will, I know it,” Seungmin answers; he’d have to be an idiot not to. “You’re beautiful." You flush as you look at him in the mirror, standing behind you but not at all obscured thanks to your smaller frame.

You know he means it– he teases and he pretends, but he’d never lie about something like that. You already know that to be true; he’s said it himself– that the thing’s he says with a serious tone are the things he really means.

He’s not looking at you, his eyes fixed on your back until he’s finished with the zipper, ignoring the way the hooks of your bra stare back at him until your dress closes and they are obscured from his sight, the way they should be.

He finally meets your gaze again when he’s done, meeting your eyes through the reflection of the mirror. Your face feels impossibly hot, and you hope he thinks the pink on your face is from the makeup you applied as opposed to the real blush it is.

You still have things to do; put on your accessories, fix-up and style your hair, put on your prettiest pair of heels, but even without all that flashy glamor added on, Seungmin already thinks you’re radiant as can be.

Though he’s done with the zipper, his hand hasn’t left your back yet, and neither of you have broken the gaze you keep in the mirror. There’s a moment where you think he’ll turn you around and kiss you, or that you’ll kiss him; and truly, he wants to, but he shouldn’t. This night is supposed to be about you and Hyunjin, and you don’t need the ‘practice’ anymore– it was only ever an excuse to begin with.

He clears his throat as he lets you go, and you turn your gaze away from the mirror, swallowing down all your feelings and nerves as you rummage through your bag for the accessories you brought with you.

“It won’t take me much longer to get ready,” you say as you continue to rummage through your bag– you found what you need, but taking it out means having to meet Seungmin’s gaze, and you’re not ready to do that again just yet.

“Right, I should get ready too,” Seungmin mumbles mostly to himself as he turns to leave. You don’t look up from your bag, even as he lingers in the doorway. You can tell he stopped to look at you, you can feel his eyes observing you, but still you don’t glance up at him.

“Yeah, not much time left ‘til we gotta go,” you say, and he responds with a simple, quiet ‘yeah’ before he fully walks out into the main room.

There’s a sense of dread that lingers– both of you having a similar feeling weighing on your hearts, while ironically thinking you feel it all by yourself, that the other person doesn’t possibly feel the same way.

A situation that would easily be mended by communication, but the gap between what you perceive to be true, and the real truth, is not so easily crossed. The metaphoric rope that connects you and Seungmin together is frayed, and you worry that an uncomfortable conversation will cause that connection to completely snap.

So you swallow your feelings once more, you put on your earrings and style your hair, and you realign your focus. You can’t keep thinking about what your affection for Seungmin means or why the thought of this ending tonight weighs on you so heavily.

You’re close to getting what you’ve been working for, and that should be where your thoughts linger– on Hyunjin. The best friend you’ve always thought you had feelings for, the one you believed yourself to be in love with.

Stepping inside the ballroom with Seungmin is utterly nerve wracking; it’s the moment you’ve been waiting for, the moment that 3 months of fake relationship practice were leading up to.

This is where you show your best performance, where you parade around on Seungmin’s arm and look at him with the best heart eyes you can muster. Not that it’s a hard task, these days– you find yourself doing it without even thinking about it.

You.. love him, if you had to guess. But do you love him more than you thought you loved Hyunjin? You guess that’s the answer you’re really trying to find tonight.

You never thought it’s where you’d be today when you first conjured up this plan, there was no way to anticipate how much your newfound closeness with Seungmin would affect the feelings you thought you were so sure of.

It’s natural to be confused, isn’t it? Surely anyone would be in this scenario; you can’t kiss and hug and cuddle someone for so long and feel nothing, right? And it’s your own fault, you can’t blame anyone but yourself for the predicament you’ve found yourself in. You reap what you sow, as your grandmother likes to say.

“Don’t be so on edge, everything’ll work out,” Seungmin leans to whisper in your ear. You’ve been so tense ever since you left the guest room together– half nervous to see Hyunjin again after months and half ‘oh my god why does Seungmin look so good tonight.’

As if it wasn’t enough that you were confused about your feelings, Seungmin had to come out looking so devastatingly handsome in his perfectly tailored suit and neatly slicked hair. “Yeah, you’re right, sorry,” you respond and he shakes his head, offers a reassuring smile before he looks around the room.

“He’s around here somewhere, we’ll see him soon enough,” Seungmin says as his eyes continue to scan the packed ballroom. Oh, that makes sense; he thinks you’re tense because you haven’t run into Hyunjin yet.

If things were the same as a few months ago, you think that may have been true. Now, you’re not really sure what’s true. Hyunjin will see you as a couple and he’ll either silently rage with envy or beam with joy for his two best friends– and you don’t know which outcome is the one you want anymore.

“Oh, I think I see him,” Seungmin mutters to you, and discreetly points in the direction he thinks he’s found your other best friend. You see him now too, standing near the balconies looking bored out of his mind, champagne glass in hand.

He’s not looking at anything in particular, just vaguely observing his surroundings while occasionally sipping from his drink– probably hoping you two will show up soon and save him from his boredom. You take a breath, wrap your arms around Seungmin's own arm and squeeze it close to your chest.

“Now or never,” you mutter and he nods, steeling himself for the penultimate moment just as do. “Hyunjin!” you call from across the hall, dragging Seungmin along with you as you half-sprint up to him, your designer heels loudly clanking on the marble floor.

Hyunjin returns your smile when he spots you, and laughs when he sees Seungmin practicly scowling as he’s dragged along– it’s classic, really; you always do things like this to them. Just strong arm them along everywhere you want to go, through everything you want to do.

“Hey! I’m glad you both made it, it’s been forever,” Hyunjin smiles as you complete your approach. He feels bad he hasn’t seen either of his best friends in months, but royal duties and all.. It kept him very unfortunately occupied. He looks at you both inquisitively when you don’t let go of Seungmin’s arm or untangle yourself from him– normally you would have by now, having reached the destination you wanted to drag him to. It’s curious, to say the least.

Your hand goes from being wrapped around Seungmin and holding his arm, to intertwining your fingers as you hold his hand. Hyunjin raises a brow, but says nothing– he’ll wait for one of you to clear up what he’s thinking.

“Mhm, we’ve been waiting to see you in person to tell you something important!” you say as you squeeze Seungmin’s hand, shooting him your best lovey dovey look before you bring your gaze back to Hyunjin.

Seungmin wants to sigh and roll his eyes and call you dumb for looking at him like that, but he bites his tongue. It’s the last time you’ll ever shoot him with that look of pure puppy love, and it’s best not to ruin it by defaulting to his usual personality; cherish it while you have it, as they say.

“Well spit it out then, don’t keep me on the edge of my seat,” Hyunjin’s smile grows, looking between the two of you with eager anticipation to hear the confession that lingers on your tongue.

Hyunjin’s positive reaction deters you a little; surely he can see that you’re clinging to Seungmin to an unusual degree, but he doesn’t seem to react to it negatively at all– not even minutely.

There’s no subtle furrow of the brow, no flash of sadness in his eyes that gets replaced by forced happiness, no twitch in his hands from jealousy or frustration. Seungmin was right, as always; Hyunjin is just going to be a good friend. He won’t have a single negative thing to say.

“W-Well, we.. uh–” you stumble on your words, and curse yourself for floundering at the most pivotal moment. This is what everything you’ve done has been leading up to, you can’t falter now; and yet, you are.

You look at Seungmin and your grip on his hand tightens, panic unwittingly settling in as a lump forms in your throat. He flashes you a look of sympathy, squeezes your hand in a subtle show of comfort, before he turns away from your gaze to look at Hyunjin.

He doesn’t like it, but he’ll take the lead from here; for your sake. “We’re dating,” he says as confidently and smoothly as he can bring himself to. He lets go of your hand and wraps his arm around your waist, pulls you closer for added effect, sincerely tries his best to spark the jealousy he knew you wanted to see. But Hyunjin doesn’t look jealous, or sad, or even angry. He just looks.. happy.

“Gosh, finally! Congrats! I always knew you two would end up together,” Hyunjin grins and gives Seungmin a friendly pat on the shoulder. You blink as you stare between them. Huh..? Finally? What does that mean?

Even Seungmin is taken aback, and mirrors what you were internally thinking. But unlike you, his utterly shocked ‘huh?’ comes out verbally. “Yeah, I always saw the way you were looking at her, Minnie. You were so obvious, I knew it was only a matter of time,” Hyunjin says with enthusiastic joy that sends you completely off kilter.

What the fuck.

You feel like your entire world has been flipped upside down. What does he mean he always saw the way Seungmin looked at you? How did he look at you..? How does he look at you?

Hyunjin’s puzzled now as he looks between you both; you look like your entire sense of reality has been shifted, while Seungmin looks positively mortified. “Sorry, uh– did he not mention that when he confessed?” Hyunjin asks, and then shit– maybe you were the one who confessed.

Seungmin is stubborn and aloof in his cool persona, he's the type to avoid saying what he really thinks by using teasing words, will only look at you softly when he thinks no one else is looking his way. Hyunjin can easily imagine that he has yet to admit the true depth of his secret pining, or confessed how much he actually likes you. He feels bad for outing Seungmin if that’s the case.

“My bad, I assumed you knew since you’re dating now and all,” he laughs a bit awkwardly while shooting Seungmin a sympathetic look. One that’s meant to say ‘sorry for blowing your stubborn, cool-guy persona.’ It’s just.. Hyunjin thought it was as obvious to you as it was to him.

The way his hard expression would soften the minute you smiled at him, how he’d laugh when you’d banter back after he said something teasing and mean, how his eyes would always linger on even if there were countless other people in the room.. Wasn’t it obvious he liked you this entire time?

“I guess I’m just surprised to hear you call it out,” you try to recover from the blatant shock, play it off as something different than it is– as if you knew all along, and you’re just surprised that Hyunjin knew too.

Hyunjin chuckles a little, looking a bit more relieved after your statement. “Sorry if I ruined the illusion of Seungmin being the cool, aloof type. He’s actually a big softie, but I guess you’ve realized that by now,” he smiles.

“Yeah I, uh– I’ve realized that,” you smile back, a bit tensely, but a smile nonetheless, “That’s what I like about him.” Seungmin, still trying to recover from his own world being flipped upside down, finally looks at you again.

He doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know how to recover from this wildly unexpected turn in the conversation. Still realizing he has his hand on your waist, and unsure where you now stand and whether or not this is appropriate or okay anymore, he hesitantly lets you go.

You hold his hand when he does, but it doesn’t feel like solace or consolation the way it normally would. Not hollow, or empty, but just.. not full of the same warmth it normally carries.

He’s so impossibly anxious and scared– that you’re furious with him, that you’ll cut him off when the night is over, that you’ll accuse him of sabotaging this whole thing by agreeing to be your pretend boyfriend when he had very real feelings for you.

In reality, you just feel terrible about yourself and what you’ve caused. You already felt bad before the night began, and now you feel even worse– you never would’ve asked Seungmin to do this if you'd known he had feelings for you.

And now his feelings were called out in the worst way possible, and you don’t think you’ll ever scrub how mortified Seungmin looked in that moment from your memory. And it was entirely your fault.

He should’ve been allowed the chance to tell you on his own terms, and you ruined that chance. You probably also ruined any chance at having a normal relationship with him if you wanted one– because how do you recover from the humiliation of being called out on something you thought was a well guarded secret, right in front of the very person that secret was about. This entire time, he’s liked you, maybe even loved you, and you undeniably hurt him.

He tried to deter you, he told you this wouldn’t work and he tried to resist but you pressed and pushed and prodded until he gave in. And while you could argue some of his acts were not entirely selfless, as you’re sure he must’ve enjoyed kissing you and being close to you knowing what you do now, how could you blame him for indulging in a love with someone he wanted to be with while expecting, believing, knowing, it would come to an end when you got what you wanted?

All those years you spent pining over Hyunjin, Seungmin spent them pining over you, and he just listened, he took it in, and he never stopped supporting you, not even once. Even tonight, when it was probably breaking his heart to do so, he tried his best to reassure you, he tried to make Hyunjin jealous on your behalf..

And he complained, sure he did, but it was more part of the usual banter between you two than jealousy or hurt. At least, that’s what you always thought it was.. You never imagined there’d be anything more hiding beneath the surface.

You should’ve known, though. It should’ve been obvious– how can you call yourself Seungmin’s best friend and not have realized? And it’s not that you missed the signs because you were willfully ignorant, but you were so tunnel-visioned, selfish, and absorbed that you never stopped to notice any of the changes. It wasn’t even until recently that you realized how much a wall he’d put up, how much he’d forced distance between you..

It makes sense, in hindsight; that it wasn’t for your sake that he stopped doing certain things and acting certain ways, but his own. While you were watching Hyunjin like a hawk for any sign that he might like you, you missed all the signs Seungmin left. You never noticed a single thing, and being reminded of how selfishly you’d spent the teenage years of your friendship makes your heart ache terribly.

“Hey uh, sorry to cut this short but.. I think Seungmin’s feeling embarrassed. Might be in need of a reset, y’know?” you say, trying to come across as a happy girlfriend stealing the chance to tease her boyfriend while also still having his best interest at heart. You look at Seungmin, try to offer him reassurance despite the situation, but he doesn’t look back at you.

He’s facing Hyunjin, but he doesn’t look at him either, not really. It feels like he’s far away, somewhere distant that you can’t reach, busy reconstructing all the walls he’d let fall away, trying to build them back up as high as he can in preparation for the heartbreak he’s soon to face.

“Of course,” Hyunjin smiles, giving his full blessing, “just come find me again later! I’d rather be a third wheel with you two lovebirds than listen to my father drone on about tax management again.” You giggle a bit and nod, waving him goodbye and forcing Seungmin out of his haze by dragging him away with you.

You glance around as you push through the crowd for a private space to talk– your guest room is much too far away and the tension while going back would likely be too much for either of you to bear; better to find somewhere nearby to have this conversation. You fail to make it to a room after exiting the ballroom; Seungmin stops in the middle of the hallway, preventing you from dragging him along, and you’re forced to let him go and turn around to look at him.

He’s pained and lost but he tries to bring himself back to the aloof persona he once had mastered, to not show how hurt and afraid he is right now. But the cracked mask that is his cool facade has splintered irreparably, and you can only see him for who he really is now.

“Sorry it didn’t work out how you wanted. Sucks, and I know you must be hurt, but don’t give up, you can still try again, maybe there’s something else you haven’t thought of yet, you can–” Seungmin speaks in a quick ramble, not even acknowledging the massive elephant in the room; his feelings for you.

“Seungmin,” you cut him off with a frown, and he’s hesitant to meet your gaze; he doesn’t know what he’ll be met with, and try as he might to reconstruct himself back to the person he was before this whole thing started, he knows deep down it’d be in vain.

Your friendship has been irrevocably changed, and to pretend otherwise would be futile. Still, he can’t stop himself from trying– it’s all he can think to do. “You have feelings for me,” you state it plainly, and Seungmin swallows but says nothing.

Doesn’t confirm, nor deny, because both options seem fucking terrible if he’s honest. Denying it is pointless and would just be a blatant lie, and confirming, making it clear that he agreed to be your fake boyfriend despite his feelings for you.. He doesn’t know how that makes him look.

In Seungmin’s head, you’ll either view him as pathetic or as a saboteur, and neither is ideal. “Why didn’t you ever tell me? If I’d known I’d never have..”

He scoffs at your sentiment and looks at you incredulously. “And why would I have? You’ve been obsessed with Hyunjin for years. And I’m supposed to tell you how I feel? Be serious Y/N, there’s no way I could’ve ever told you. And even if I had, you would’ve rejected me, so what would’ve been the point?”

“I–” you want to say that’s not true, that you wouldn’t have rejected him or broken his heart, but who are you kidding? It absolutely fucking is. It hurts to hear it this way, but he isn’t wrong about any of it.

Still, just because he’s right, that doesn’t mean you’re entirely wrong either. Even if you’d have rejected him, surely he still should’ve been honest with you? You’d never have done this if you’d known.

You made mistakes, but so did he, right? You know you've been selfish for way too long, but you're not the kind of person to intentionally hurt a friend. You never would've dragged Seungmin through the mud just to get what you want, and the fact that he hid his feelings and allowed himself to be hurt just to make you happy.. That's not the kind of thing you want him to do.

Your friendship shouldn't be built on Seungmin's self-sacrifice, he shouldn't allow himself to be second place just to make you and Hyunjin happy. To be selfless is a virtue, but too much can leave him with nothing, and that's been your concern since the day you realized how selfish you've been.

You realized that Seungmin will give, and give, and give, and he'll never ask you for anything in return. But that’s not what friendship and love should be built upon. Surely he understands that you never wanted this– for your best friend to offer himself up as your emotional martyr.

And with the confusion of your feelings compounding on it, the realization that maybe it’s Seungmin who you love while your infatuation with Hyunjin was hardly more than a fairytale childhood crush– how are you supposed to live with yourself after causing unspeakable heartache to him? And would he even believe you if you told him that you love him? You don’t even know if you can believe yourself.

He sees how hurt you are, the confusion and the guilt and the sorrow, and the anger that grew within him instantly deflates. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped you, I just– I need to be alone,” Seungmin mutters his apology and walks briskly past you, towards the direction of the guest hall.

You call to him, but he doesn’t stop or turn around, and you don’t follow. You want to, but you know you should respect that he needs time to himself; he has a lot to process, as you’re sure you do too. You owe it to him, yourself, and even Hyunjin, to sort out your feelings too.

Seungmin didn't see you or Hyunjin again that night, couldn't bring himself to keep playing the pretend boyfriend after every thing that happened. He went to your guest room for his stuff, isolated himself in his own room for the remainder of the evening, leaving the door to your room unlocked and the key resting on the desk so you could get in and out without having to speak with him.

He felt bad about it, but he just couldn't face you again; it was too difficult. Apparently, you returned to the ballroom alone and told Hyunjin the truth. Seungmin knows because he woke up in the middle of the night to countless texts from Hyunjin– apologizing, saying he didn't know, offering his condolences and to be there for him. It fucking sucked, made him feel like even more of a pathetic loser.

You told Hyunjin the truth because it felt like the right thing to do following what happened; he would've known eventually anyways, so it felt better to rip the band-aid off right away.

And you confessed a lot more than just that; you told Hyunjin everything. About how this whole thing started, about your confusion on how you felt now, about how terribly your heart ached after realizing how much damage you'd caused.

Hyunjin offered you his shoulder to cry on, hugged you and apologized even though he didn’t need to, and ironically, that’s partly what gave you the answer you were looking for.

Because your heart didn’t pound when he hugged you, you didn’t get butterflies when he wiped your tears, your face didn’t flush when offered his hand for support. It was so platonic– and the only time you smiled was when he said he was sure Seungmin would forgive you and everything will work out.

It’s over a day when Seungmin finally sees you again; you have to pass through his city to get to yours, and so it always made sense to leave Hyunjin’s castle together when traveling home. The ride is tense and awkward, to say the least.

You can’t bring yourself to say a word and neither can he, the two of you only taking peeks at each other when you’re sure the other isn’t looking. Seungmin stares out the window and you stare at your hands resting in your lap, while your driver compensates for the unusual atmosphere by turning up the radio.

Approaching Seungmin’s estate makes you indescribably emotional. A lump forms in your throat when the door is opened for him and he exits the car, you clench your fists and try to swallow down the intense emotion when the door closes and you watch him begin to walk away.

It doesn’t feel right, none of this feels right. You’re worried that if you don’t talk now, then you never will; that the damage will be irreparable if you let the distance grow and feelings fester. You need to talk to Seungmin, and you need to do it now.

You hastily unbuckle your seatbelt and open the car door, running out to chase after Seungmin and not stopping even as your driver calls to you from behind. Seungmin, who is almost to his front door, turns around when he hears the commotion, and is surprised to see you quickly approaching him.

“What are you doing..?” he can’t help but ask; really though, he shouldn’t be surprised. You always do things like this, and once you’ve made a decision to do something, you’ll stubbornly stick to that decision ‘til the end. You’ve decided you’re going to talk to him, and he knows there’ll be no getting out of it.

“We need to talk,” you assert yourself clearly, even go as far as to step past him and into his house before he can. What a brat; he almost smiles from how familiar it is. The guards who were holding the door open for Seungmin look a little puzzled, but they make no comment– it’s not their place to do so. Seungmin doesn’t see you when he steps inside, but it’s easy enough to guess where you went.

And he finds you exactly where he expected to, waiting for him right outside his bedroom door. Now or never, he thinks as he unlocks it, offering for you to step inside first. You do just that, waiting until follows behind and closes the door to speak.

“What are we now? Friends? More than friends? ..Neither?” you cut straight to the chase, leaving no room for awkward and unnecessary pre-emptive small talk. “I don’t know. Isn’t that up to you?” Seungmin says, stepping past you to sit on his bed.

You frown as you watch him, but stay firm. “It shouldn’t be entirely up to me. What do you want?” “Does it matter what I want?” Seungmin cuts back. It’s a bit harsh, but he’s still trying to defend against his heart getting torn to shreds; you can’t entirely blame him.

“Of course it matters,” you tell him, voice soft with pain. “Sorry,” he mumbles again, sighing as he flops back and stares at the ceiling. He knows he needs to stop snapping at you, his pain isn’t all in your hands. It takes two to tango, and he did more than his fair share of leading the dance.

Honesty scares him. Raw emotion scares him. Telling you how he’s always felt about you scares him, and telling you what he hopes you’ll be scares him. But that fear has always been a hindrance, and he needs to stop being shackled by it; especially when you’re trying so hard to hear what he really has to say.

“I’ve always liked you, for years I’ve liked you. But you– I didn’t think there was anything I could do. So I just.. didn't do anything.”

You sit down next to him, looking down at him as you do, and he in turn moves his gaze towards you. You can see the apprehension in his eyes, and maybe it’s presumptuous of you to do so, but you lay your hand over his in an effort to reassure him. He looks a bit surprised, but he accepts it, and rotates his hand around so you can hold it properly.

“I try not to, but even now I still want to be with you,” he admits, and it’s not easy for him to do, but he can’t shove down how he feels anymore– not if he wants a chance with you.

“So I didn’t ruin what we have?” you ask and Seungmin quickly sits up, squeezing your hand as he does.

“Of course not, I mean– I was upset and I took it out on you, but.. You could never ruin anything,” he says, emphasizing the point by moving closer to you; and it makes you feel warm and happy. Because he’s bridging the gap on his own, willingly putting his walls back down, leaving the mask off.

“I'm so sorry for everything, I really am. And it's okay if you don't want to, but can we go back to what we were before? Well– not before before, but like– when you were my fake boyfriend. But not fake this time either, I want you to be my real boyfriend, and–” You’re rambling, you know, but you’re just trying to be clear, you just don’t want to mess this up again, so–

“Shut up already, idiot,” Seungmin says, an affectionate smile and lilt in his voice before he’s pressing his lips to yours to stop your rambling himself. “Don’t be an asshole when I’m pouring my heart out,” you complain, smiling despite yourself.

“I thought you wanted to go back to before though?” he says with a grin, and you roll your eyes and shove him, mumbling ‘I hate you’ while he chuckles. And it feels good. It feels like everything you’ve been missing and everything you needed. No tension, no dread, no fear– the way it should have always been.

You kiss him first this time, and he pulls you in closer, lets you crawl your way into his lap the way you’ve wanted to for weeks at this point (not that he’s even aware how much you’ve fantasized about it– at least, you hope he hasn’t.)

“I missed you,” you breathe as you settle on his lap, and he pulls away, looks up at you with the smug smile that tells you a smartass comment is going to follow. “We were only apart for like, a day,” he can’t help himself from saying, laughing softly when you pout and whine.

“I know that! But it was the most miserable day of my life, I’ll have you know,” you huff, pout growing as you turn your face away and cross your arms. Seungmin’s expression softens, and he reaches out to your face, rests his hand on your cheek and urges you to look at him again.

He understands, he really does; it was just as miserable for him. So many doubts and fears wreaking havoc on his brain and making him assume the worst had still yet to come. “I missed you too,” he mumbles softly, earnestly, and a bit shy.

Seungmin isn’t used to vulnerability and honesty, but he’ll get used to it for you. He’ll learn to tell you over and over again how much he loves you if that’s what you need. And the dynamic you have is fun; you like the banter, the teasing, and how much affection lies beneath the surface of his spoken words. You don’t expect him to completely change, nor do you want him to; but he can stand to be a little more open with his feelings. Just a little.

"Got you to admit it," you smile, and he scoffs when he realizes he's been duped. He calls you a brat, lovingly and affectionately, before he’s kissing you again. You push him backwards onto the bed, gentle but still assertive, continuing to kiss him while his hands find purchase on your hips. He lets out that little sigh as you kiss him– the one that always drives you crazy and makes your stomach do flips.

You used to feel guilt over what that noise caused you to think, the way it caused your body to react and where it led your mind to wander. You wonder if it’s okay now; to allow your mind to go there, if Seungmin would be okay with going further than you’ve gone before– kissing new spots, touching new places, experiencing new sensations. You wonder if he’s thought about it as much as you have, and if guilt made him swallow it down when he did, same as you.

In the few months of your fake relationship, despite all that practiced closeness and kissing, you never made out– you’ve gotten close, hands starting to roam slightly too close to an intimate place, tongues just seconds away from passing parted lips, but one of you would always stop when you realized you were about to get carried away. And he’d gotten hard more than once, but you always pretended not to notice, acting like you didn’t feel it pressing into your thigh while your legs were tangled together.

Acknowledging it would’ve meant confronting feelings you weren’t ready to at the time, and there was always the possibility it meant nothing, that it was just a physical reaction independent of his brain and how he felt about you. But now that you know all that you do, you hope it means he’s always wanted more with you..

And you have to admit, the self restraint it’d take not to act on his desires makes him all the more appealing. What can you say except consent is key, and knowing he has self control even when he wants you bad is sexy.

He does it again– that unconscious squeeze of your hips the more you kiss him, and you wonder what exactly it stems from; a desire to have you as close as possible, a way to ground himself as he gets worked up, or maybe even both. You hope it's both.

You pull away from his kiss, sitting up and staring down at him, your hands lingering on his chest. “I want to ask you something,” you speak softly, voice almost a whisper, face growing impossibly hot. “And don’t give me a smartass reply, or I’m leaving!” You follow up sternly, and Seungmin chuckles, grabs one of the hands you have resting on his chest, and intertwines your fingers.

“I won’t, promise,” he says, not a hint of teasing in his voice or his smile. As fun as it is to tease you and poke fun, he can tell when the moment calls for him to be earnest and take you seriously. You breathe a sigh of relief, or maybe you’re letting out a breath to ground yourself before you speak; either way, Seungmin watches you attentively, a bit puzzled but entirely patient.

“Do you.. Did you ever think about, uh– doing more when we were kissing..?” you ask, nervously chewing on your lip as you wait for him to respond. “Oh,” Seungmin blinks, his own face growing hot alongside yours. He promised he’d give an honest, serious answer, but even if he didn’t, he doubts he would’ve been able to play it off.

Looking into your eyes while he tries to admit it makes the words lodge in his throat, so he turns his head and looks away, the hot red of his blush burning all the way to the tips of his ears. Same as when he admitted he wanted to kiss you, all he says is “yes.” No elaboration, no ifs, whens, or buts; just yes. And that’s all he needs to say, really. It speaks for itself.

He hesitates to look back at you and see your reaction, but the moment he does turn his head, you’re kissing him again, more eager and impassioned than you ever have before, the noise of surprise he lets out muffled by your lips. Your tongue peeks out, just barely brushes over his own, almost cautious, and an involuntary noise of approval escapes you when you feel his tongue slip past his lips to meet yours.

You separate your hand from Seungmin’s, and he brings his hand back to your hip while yours returns to his chest. You open your mouth for him, invite his tongue further in, and he squeezes your hips once more when you do. The feeling of his tongue sliding against yours is dizzying, makes your stomach fill to the brim with butterflies, excitement building in your gut in ways you’ve never experienced.

You feel him growing hard beneath you, and you don’t ignore it the way you would have before; you purposely press into it, grind yourself down on Seungmin’s lap and swallow the gasp he lets out. You lose track of how long you stay like this, grinding on his lap while your tongues swirl around each other's, your heavy breaths and every noise swallowed by the other. You’re out of breath by the time you finally pull away, your chests rapidly rising and falling, his shirt twisted in your palms.

Seungmin looks almost dazed, and to be fair, you sort of are too; neither of you ever expected you’d be here like this. To Seungmin, you were unobtainable; someone he loved but could never have, and he tried so many times to make his peace with it, though he never could.

There's a part of him that still can’t even believe you’re choosing him, that thinks maybe this is a dream he’ll soon wake up from. And in your case, it took you too long to realize your priorities were wrong, and your feelings didn’t always mean what you thought they did; that love is more than what looks good and correct on paper.

You realized you don’t need perfection and matching titles and fairytale romance. Love doesn’t follow a formula, it doesn’t adhere to standards of nobility and preconceived notions on who a princess should love. You have two best friends, and they’re both vitally important to you, but the one you truly fell in love with turned out to be so opposite from what you thought your type truly was.

You love Seungmin, with his quips, sarcasm, imperfections, and all. It’s unfortunate you didn’t realize it sooner, but you’re happy you’re sure of it now. And now that you have him, you’re never letting him go.

“I want you,” you tell him, and though you’re the most shy you’ve ever been, and can’t quite look him in the eye as you admit it, you still get it out, clear and direct. It’s impressive, enviable, how shyness doesn’t prevent you from ever speaking your mind.

“Do you.. want me too?” you ask, and he can feel your hands trembling as you continue to hold onto his shirt, waiting for his answer with bated breath. “Yes,” he assures; always has, and always will.

You smile before you lean down to capture his lips in another kiss, wet, hot and messy. “This okay?” you pull away just slightly to ask, still so close that he can feel your every breath on his lips, your hand traveling down his chest and over his stomach. More than okay, he wants to say, but all that he can manage to let out is another “yes.” Your fingers ghost over the hem of his pants, his breath hitching when you palm him over the fabric.

It’s embarrassing how much pre-cum has stained and moistened the fabric of his pants, and he’s sure you can feel it beneath your hand. He closes his eyes, furrows his brows as he tries not to become flustered and increasingly more red. A breathy groan escapes him when you slide your hand inside, your hand encircling his cock, and he opens his eyes to look at you, twitching involuntarily when he sees the hungry look in your eyes.

You kiss him when he starts to bite at his lip, greedily swallow every groan that tumbles out of him. Seungmin can’t believe how much better your hand feels than his own, how soft and warm and perfect– and when you pull away from his lips to stare down at him, he looks up at you like you hold the entire world in your hands. You’ve never done this before, but instinct carries you far, and if Seungmin’s reactions are any sign, you’re doing a good enough job so far.

Carefully removing your hand from inside his pants and sitting up completely, you move your hands to the end of your dress, where it pools on your upper thighs, and take it in your hands, pulling it up and over your head, tossing it onto the floor behind you. Seungmin’s eyes grow wide, swallowing thickly as he stares at you. He wasn’t expecting it, but it makes sense that you’d do this; you’ve always been the type to act first and foremost.

You smile at him, shy and sweet, but still impossibly confident too. You take his hands and bring them to your chest, let him grope you over your bra, and it sends him reeling. You’re assertive, direct, a go-getter; when you know you want something, you just go for it, simple as that. But still, this is– you’re gonna drive him crazy before the night is over. You reach behind your back, unhook your bra with familiar ease, the straps sliding down your arm.

Seungmin swallows, knowing the moment he lets you go your bra will fall from your body and expose your chest to him. Deciding to take a page out of your book, and display some confidence despite the fact that his face is impossibly hot, he takes his hands away, lifts his back off the bed and pulls his own shirt off before he can get distracted by the image of you bare before him.

You toss your fallen bra aside, and he allows himself to stare for just a moment before he brings a hand to the nape of your neck and brings you down to kiss him. You squeak in surprise, but then he feels you smiling against his lips as you return his kiss. Mirroring what you did before, his hand travels between your thighs, feeling your heat over your panties. It’s a bit of an awkward reach that causes strain on his arm, but the minute he feels the wet patch, he doesn’t even fucking think about the strain anymore.

Seungmin brings his fingers to the hem of your panties, glancing at you before he moves any further. You nod at him, giving him permission to slip his hand inside. And fuck, you’re soaked– he barely even has to move his fingers around to get them completely coated. “You’re– ‘s so wet,” he breathes out, almost amazed, and you whine, burying your face in his shoulder as some semblance of shyness finally clutches you.

“Your fault,” you mumble, and Seungmin chuckles, kissing the top of your head affectionately. “You’re cute when you’re being shy,” he tells you, and you quickly lift your head to glare at him.

“Don’t get cocky, I will actually kill you,” you threaten. “And spend the rest of your life without me when just one day makes you miserable?” he teases, and you whine, grabbing one of his pillows and hitting him with it.

“Remind me to never tell you when I miss you ever again,” you huff, and Seungmin coos, the menace that he is, before he pulls you into a sweet, passionate kiss. You easily melt into it, further complaints dying when his tongue touches yours. He takes your breasts in his hands again, thumbs rubbing over your nipples and making your entire body shudder. You gasp when he takes them between his fingers, squirming and whimpering when he rolls and softly pinches them.

His cock unceremoniously twitches in response to your pleasured noises, each one driving him crazier than the last; he needs you bad. “Want you,” he mumbles against your lips, and you hum, pulling away to look at him.

“Wanna fuck me?” you ask, head tilted as a coy smile plays on your lips. Fucking hell– you call him a menace, but you’re the real threat here; you make him insane. “Isn’t that obvious?” he asks, ignoring the heat on his face and trying to act as unphased by your words as possible.

“Yeah, it is actually,” you smile and he scoffs, rolling his eyes as you giggle. Menace. You lift your hips off his lap, moving off to the side of the bed so you can slide your panties down your legs. He watches you intently, swallowing when you turn back to him and gaze at him expectantly.

Right, he has to get undressed too. Lifting off the bed, he tries not to think about the fact that you’re staring at him as he pulls his pants and underwear down his thighs in one motion. You crawl back in his lap when he’s finished kicking the bunched fabric off his legs, neither of you paying any mind to where on his floor it lands.

Seungmin’s brain feels like it’s going to short circuit while he’s staring at you; you’re beautiful, sexy, straddling his lap entirely naked, a moment he thought would only ever exist in his wet dreams. You take a breath, steady your nerves as you reach between your bodies to take his cock in your hand.

It twitches in your hand, throbs as you align it with your dripping hole. You swallow, glancing back up at Seungmin’s face before you act. He can’t take your other hand in his as you’re using it to support your weight, so instead he reaches for your face, gently caressing your cheek with his thumb. You lean into his touch, smiling softly and indulging in his affection for just a moment before you start to slowly sink down on him.

You squeeze your eyes shut, bottom lip caught between your teeth, nails digging into the flesh of his shoulder as you continue. Even just the sensation of the tip pushing inside is overwhelming, and the more of him you take, the more the pleasure in your gut builds. It’s unfamiliar, there’s a sting and a dull ache, but mostly it just feels good– better than anything you’ve ever felt.

You open your eyes and look at Seungmin when your hips are finally flush with his, butterflies exploding when you see him struggling to keep himself together. His breaths are harsh and heavy, sweat dripping down his forehead, jaw clenched as he tries to prevent himself from cumming too fast. “You– you okay?” he asks, voice tense with effort, and you nod, leaning down to capture his lips in a hungry kiss.

He throbs when you do, his hands moving to your hips and holding them tightly, your naked chests pressed together. When you’re ready, you experimentally roll your hips, whimpering softly into the kiss while you cling to his body. He groans with each slow roll of your hips, and it takes all he has not to bruise you in his grip and to stop his hips from chasing yours when you start to carefully bounce.

It’s slow at first, still adjusting and finding the rhythm you're most comfortable with, what works for you and what feels good, but when you figure it out, God, please have mercy on him. The noises you make turn his brain into an absolute puddle, and when you whimper out his name he doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to recover. And the way you clench around him, the wet sounds between your legs and of your thighs slapping together each time your hips rise and fall back to his lap– he can’t fucking take it.

“M-Minnie–” you gasp, your pace faltering, legs screaming from all the exertion. “C-Close, but– ‘m tired,” you whine and pout, doing your best to push through the fatigue, but you’re not sure how much longer you can. Your legs and knees ache terribly, having been bent long before his dick was even inside you, and they’re in desperate need of a break. “Wanna switch?” he asks and you quickly nod, uttering a small “please,” as you still your hips.

Seungmin helps you lie on your back, quickly taking his place between your legs and pressing himself back inside in one swift motion. You gasp, eyes rolling back when he starts to quickly fuck into you, your hands clutching and twisting the sheets beneath you. He grabs your hands and makes you hold his instead, intertwines your fingers and makes no complaint when your nails dig into the flesh under his knuckles.

He kisses you desperately, tongue messily swirling around yours, swallowing every loud whimper and moan that spills from your throat. Tears prick the corners of your eyes, your stomach knots and twists, your entire body trembles from the overwhelming pleasure. You snake your dominant hand from out of his grip and bring it to your clit, rubbing it in quick, messy circles. He pulls away from your lips to look between your bodies and watch, cursing when you squeeze him tighter.

Before you know it, you’re gasping and crying, body jolting and squirming as your orgasm washes over you, hot pleasure licking every inch of your body. Seungmin’s head falls forward, gritting his teeth as he sloppily fucks you through it, his own release not far behind. You’re breathless and panting, but you grab his face and pull him into another kiss regardless, and it sends him over the edge, his eyes rolling back as his cum shoots inside you in long, hot spurts.

Seungmin pulls out slowly, carefully, paying no mind to the mess his cum trickling out of you makes on his blankets. It doesn’t matter, he can call someone to change the sheets for him later– right now he just wants to focus on you. He lies next to you and kisses you, over and over, holding you close to his chest and squeezing you in his arms.

“Clingy, aren’t we?” you playfully mutter against his lips, and he can’t even bring himself to say something witty in response. “Yeah,” he smoothly admits, not denying one bit how infatuated he is with you, “I’m obsessed with you. That a problem?”

You blink, all the red that left your face instantly returning– you weren’t expecting a response like that, nor for him to say it so earnestly. “Not since I love you,” you say after you recover, smiling shyly and giggling when he seems surprised. “Do you?” he asks, and you pout; does he still not think you do, even after all that?

“Of course I do! I love you so much, Minnie, you– you’re the only one I want,” you speak from the heart, and Seungmin smiles, playful and smug. “I know. I just wanted to hear you say it again,” he tells you, and you shove him, whining loudly when he laughs.

“You’re such an ass!” you cry, and he pulls you back to him, hugging you close and pecking your lips when you pout. “I love you too,” he says, so sweetly that it makes you melt.

You stay cuddled together like that for some time, limbs tangled together, comfortable and secure. Neither of you wants to be the one to break away first, and though you teased him for it, you love how clingy Seungmin can be when he lets his guard down. You hope he leaves it down a lot from now on; because you love him, and with how stubborn you are, you’ll never let him be pried from your fingers. He’s yours, and you're his, now, forever, always.

It took longer than you would’ve liked to realize it, but this is the love you’ve always wanted. Seungmin completes you, he’s your missing piece, the one who understands you. Similar in the ways that matters, and contrasts you perfectly in the places you differ.

You bicker and you tease and sometimes you fight, but you love with your whole hearts; and you’ll never again doubt that or be confused on what it is you want, because this is it. It’s not the fairytale you dreamed of as a kid, but it’s better than that; because it’s real, Seungmin’s love is real, and there’s nothing better you could ever ask for.

#ksmutsociety #skzstarnet #skz x reader #kim seungmin x reader #skz smut #kim seungmin smut #skz scenarios #skz imagines #skz fanfic #mdni + divider graphic credit: @cafekitsune #stayed up all night proofreading and editing so if i look at this again when i wake up and saw i missed something i will kms

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seokgyuu · 2 years ago

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→ PAIRING: Chan (Dino) x Afab!Reader x Seungkwan. → GENRE: Friends to Lovers, kinda comedy, tiny bit of fluff, adult content: smut MDNI. → SYNOPSIS: One night of careless drinking with your 13 closest friends leads to Chan and Seungkwan finally finding out you have a crush on them. How lucky you are that the feelings are mutual and that they want to show you just how much they worship you. → WARNINGS: alcohol use, cursing, mutual masturbation (m/m), dirty talk, loads of kissing (m/f/m), blowjobs, mouth, throat and cheek fucking, cum eating, softdom!chan, oral (f receiving), use of petnames: baby, princess, slut, protected sex, double penetration (vaginal & anal), multiple orgasms, really this is filthy lmao → WORDCOUNT: 10.7k

A/N: hello!! what started as a boochan brainrot ended in a boochan brainrot for @bitchlessdino's birthday!! so, here it is your 10k long monster of a present because this girl cannot stfu. i love you and i hope you have the best birthday ever! for everyone else, you are obviously also allowed to enjoy this filthy peace of work! i would appreciate a reblog & comment as that makes my day <;3

Perhaps your ability to fake it was slowly becoming a problem. Fine, being an acting major and all, having even starred in a few theater productions it wasn’t exactly a surprise you were a good actor, but this extent even shocked you.You were at a restaurant with your friends, all of them drinking and having fun and while you at least acted like you had the same amount of fun, you knew well enough you weren’t. It wasn’t like your friends weren’t any fun, no, they were, but two of them in particular had you literally sweating bricks since the moment they had sat down.

In your time at SVT university, you had made a total of 13 friends. All of them boys, all of them already connected from before. The first one you had met was Mingyu, a tall, handsome fella who had adopted you on orientation night when you had struggled to finish all of the shots you and the other freshmen were supposed to drink. Back then you had been a lightweight but being friends with 13 maniacs (even though a couple of them didn’t drink alcohol) had shaped you into a whole new being. So, Mingyu had taken it upon himself to introduce you to his friends and soon enough you found yourself to be all of their little sister.

And for a while that was fine, you didn’t particularly care about them being good-looking or campus crushes, no, to you they were just the guys that had taken you in when you had no one on your side. Moving to the city on your own with no friends or family wasn’t easy, and these 13 idiots had somehow managed to make you feel right at home. They still made you feel at home when only half of you were still in Uni and the rest had graduated, gotten jobs, bought apartments. But as mentioned before it was only fine for a while. Because the more time you spent with them, all of you together or in smaller groups or individually, the more you noticed that two of them made it harder for you to just want to remain friends.

The restaurant wasn’t full, considering it was a Tuesday evening, but since your group was big enough, you were sure the owners would still consider this a successful evening, nonetheless. Right now, you were seated between Mingyu and Jihoon, the table in front of you filled with countless different types of food, your stomach full and your mind a little blurry from the soju you had already drank. You had started playing drinking games about an hour ago, going from wild to mild. At this point, you all had your fingers raised for a (not so) sweet round of “Never have I ever”.

“Okay, uhm, never have I ever…slept with two people in the same night!” Jun seemed extremely happy about his idea. Raising your brows, you watched how basically all of the 95ers, Soonyoung, Minghao and, surprisingly, Hansol, folded a finger.

“Hansolie?” You asked, a grin spreading on your face, and he shrugged as he looked over to you.

“Honestly, I don’t remember much about it, just that at 1am I met this girl, and we hooked up, I went to another club with her and ended up bringing another one home.”

“Ah, yes, I remember that,” Seokmin nodded, pointing at him with his index finger, “the first girl was pissed, but Chan took good care of her, didn’t you, Channie?”

Everyone laughed now, Chan’s cheeks bright red. Well, everyone but you. You just sat there, looking at Chan who was next to Seungkwan, who was also laughing. Suddenly you felt the need to be the first one to fold all fingers and drink your whole glass in one go.

It really wasn’t easy, you had figured out, having feelings for not just one, but two of your closest friends. To this day you hadn’t told a soul about it, and up to this point no one had noticed any changes in your behavior. That’s where the acting major came in handy. Clearing your throat, you put on a grimace.

“Yah, don’t talk about the girl like that, Seokmin oppa,” you scolded him and he put his hands together, bowing his head repeatedly as he continued to say “sorry, ma’am”. You scoffed and shook your head looking over at Jeonghan, who was next to Jun and had to say the next never have I ever.

“Never have I ever sucked a dick,” he said, smiling innocently. You took a deep breath and folded a finger. Hansol, Josh and Minghao followed.

“Look at that, our girl is finally having more than one finger down,” of course Jeonghan had targeted you, knowing he was going to take some of his boy-friends with him, but at least only those with at least seven fingers still up.

“Is that what we’re gonna do now?” You asked, shaking your hair so it would fall backwards from your shoulder and over your back.

“I just think we ask too many straight-male pointed questions. We should be more inclusive in this group!” Jeonghan smiled even wider, and you clicked your tongue, deciding not to answer him.

“Gonna be honest, I don’t even want to imagine Y/N sucking anyone off, like that’s our baby!” Mingyu said, arm now hanging over your chair. For fuck’s sake. You sighed, looking over at him.

“I’m not even a full year younger than Chan, you doofus.”

“At least call him doofus oppa, Y/N,” Cheol grinned, while Mingyu looked incredibly offended. You laughed and nudged Mingyu with your elbow before looking back at Jeonghan, who had a knowing grin on his face, a knowing grin that had you confused. Why did he grin like that?

“Me next!” Soonyoung stretched one arm into the air, his face red from the alcohol. You shook your head slightly, deciding to ignore Jeonghan and just hope whatever he had planned wouldn’t actually come true.

“Never have I ever had a crush on a close friend of mine!”

You felt your blood freeze. A crush on a close friend? Slowly, your eyes moved to Jeonghan, who, of course, was looking right at you. His finger stayed up.

You didn’t take notice of how Chan and Seungkwan folded their fingers.

Leaning back in your chair, you decided to lie. Who said you had to tell the truth here? Crossing your one leg over the other and grabbing a piece of kimchi with your chopsticks to shove it into your mouth, you were content with your choice. At least for approximately three seconds.

“Yah! Y/N, you need to drink!” Soonyoung pointed at you with the arm he had stretched out before, and you choked on the piece of kimchi.

The table seemed confused – or at least a part of it did. While you coughed and Mingyu hit your back repeatedly to help, his face in a frown at Soonyoung, everyone on Jeonghan’s left side seemed just as lost as you felt, while everyone on his right side up until Joshua seemed as if they were more annoyed at Soonyoung. Jihoon, next to you, looked just as confused.

“Excuse me?” You croaked out now, reaching for your water glass, and taking a big sip.

“Ah, common, we have it figured out! You have a crush on Mingyu!”

And the water landed right on your food, spat out of your mouth.

“She- what?!” Mingyu’s eyes widened, while you tried to recover from your earlier coughing fit as well as the one that was now shaking you.

“Hyung, common! We wanted to get it out of her slowly!” Seokmin complained and Soonyoung sighed.

“Do you even know how much we drank? If we do any more shots, we will all die, Seokmin-ah!”

“I do- I do not have a crush on Mingyu!” you finally managed to say, a napkin in your balled fist, “what makes you think I do?!”

Now, everyone looked at you, including Jeonghan who raised his brows.

“You don’t?” He asked, obviously not believing you. You scoffed.

“No, I don’t. And now tell me why you would even think so?”

Jeonghan shifted on his seat, and you were slightly uncomfortable with all the eyes on you – especially Chan’s and Seungkwan’s. How on earth had Jeonghan gotten this so wrong?

“Well, uh, I overheard a conversation you had the other day. With one of your friends? Yuri, I believe?”

You began to wreck your brain. A conversation you had had with Yuri? You remembered talking to her the other day, remembered that she had asked you something and-

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” you groaned, pulling a hand through your hair, “I don’t have a crush on him, she does!”

And scene. The silence was louder than words. Then – laughter. Everyone but Jeonghan, who’s mouth was now shaped like an “o”, laughed loudly, Jun placing his hand on Jeonghan’s shoulder.

“Yah, hyung, how bad are you at eavesdropping, hm?” The older guy didn’t say anything, he just continued to stare at you. You shook your head, a grin spreading on your lips.

“Feels bad to be embarrassed like this, huh? And to think you wanted to do that to me, oppa. Seriously, me liking Mingyu? You couldn’t have gotten it more wrong.” Pause. You noticed it just around the same time as everyone else. The laughter died down and made room for curious eyebrow raises. Shit.

“So, you’re saying there is someone you like?” Jeonghan was right back in his element, the annoying smirk back on his lips and, god, did you want to punch it off right then and there. Maybe even take some off the leftover perilla leaves and stuff them in his mouth.

All eyes were on you now. Clicking your tongue, you leaned forward.

“Did you really think you’d just get me to confess potential feelings to one of you right now?” You looked straight at Jeonghan, who shrugged with an innocent grin.

“If we got you drunk enough, why not?” Oh, he was such a menace. Did he really think you were this stupid? You scoffed and leaned back, arms crossed.

“Even if I would allow myself to get super drunk, never would I ever tell you anything. At least not with all of us together.”

“So, you’re saying there is someone you have a crush on?” Mingyu now chimed in, basically asking the same question as Jeonghan had before. You closed your eyes momentarily, contemplating how on earth you could still make these mistakes when you had literally been living with these crushes for ages and nothing had ever slipped out. Perhaps it was the alcohol. And the fact that both Seungkwan and Chan just looked way too good tonight.

You had watched them both to the best of your abilities, trying not to get caught (and apparently you hadn’t, considering everyone thought you had a crush on Mingyu). Seungkwan had been in a bit of a mood when he had arrived, and for some reason his slight annoyance made you want to jump his bones right then and there. That mixed with the way he drowned shots, his pretty fingers around the glass, almost flipping the glass over but skilfully stopping it at the last second. Even though you didn’t understand why… it was insanely attractive. His black polo and sweats, the way his brown hair fell into his face. All about him had you in a chokehold. It was basically the same with Chan. Sporting a zip up hoodie and jeans, a black t-shirt underneath, smiling and laughing loudly along when anyone made a joke. These two were in some ways complete opposites and still fell in perfectly together. As much as they often pretended to despise one another, it was safe to say they were actually the best of friends, inseparable. Perhaps that was why you hadn’t just fallen for one of them, but both.

Sitting at the table now, with your friends all quieter than you had ever seen them, you decided that it was time to get this over with. Sighing, you waved the waiter over, who you then proceeded to ask for a pen and paper, all whilst the 13 guys surrounding you looked more than just a little confused.

“What exactly are you doing?” Wonwoo asked now, his eyebrows raised just like the rest of them. Instead of answering you thanked the waiter when he brought you your desired items and slid closer to the table with your chair.

“Since you are all so curious, why don’t we end this once and for all, hm? I’m going to put an X on one of these papers and hand them out to you. If you’re getting the X, and you are interested in me as well, you can come over to my place tomorrow at 8. If you don’t have time, make it,” you were ripping apart the paper until you had 13 almost identical pieces, acting like you were writing on every single one of them (your hand shielding you) and finally folding them together. The boys stared at you with their mouths dropped.

“If you’re not interested, just forget it happened, alright? First and foremost we are friends, and I don’t want that to change, got it?” Now, you got up from your chair, all the small pieces in your hand. You knew which ones held the X’s, ready to give them to Seungkwan and Chan when you reached them, not really able to stop your heart from racing. As you started handing them out, you cleared your throat.

“Oh, and don’t open them now. Open them later, okay? I don’t want this to get any more awkward.”

When you finally reached the two men of your desire, you managed to stay calm just like before. You had successfully convinced yourself that this was just another performance of yours; the boys were your audience and you were inviting them to perform with you, they were a pawn in your game, a piece of your art. Thinking like this made it easy to not be embarrassed and worried about the outcome of this little play. It helped you discard the thought of Seungkwan and Chan going home to their shared apartment later, of them opening the papers either together or alone and then seeing an X, most probably going to tell the other. And just like that they would know that you liked them both.

Sitting back down once everyone had received their papers, you grabbed your shot glass.

“Now that that’s done. Shall we continue?”

–

Living together had never been more nerve wracking than right now. Seungkwan and Chan sat in the taxi, both quiet, the papers you had given out heavy in their pockets. Neither of them had said a word, mostly because they wouldn’t even know what to say. It had been a while since they had found out they liked the same person - namely the girl that had just given out papers that would either have one of them feel the luckiest he had ever been and one shattered, or both just disappointed, but at least disappointed together. They hadn’t even thought about the third option.

Arriving at their shared place, the door falling closed behind them, the two kicked off their shoes and slowly made their way into the living space, a relatively big room with a couch and a TV, a small dining table and finally the open kitchen with an island that they used way more frequently than the table. Without exchanging words they sat down on two stools, their hearts racing as they put their respective papers on the island.

“Who goes first?” Chan asked, hands clasped together on top of the island. Seungkwan gulped.

“Together?” He suggested then and Chan nodded, his sweaty hands letting go of each other to reach for the tiny thing holding so much power. Seungkwan did the same, his throat dry and an unwelcome feeling in his stomach. In his mind it was either neither of them or Chan. Everyone loved Chan, girls loved Chan. He was charming and handsome and some even called him pretty. He was funny and kind, he had an incredible build and his dancing abilities were to die for. Seungkwan, on the other hand, wasn’t exactly popular with the ladies, at least not in the way Chan was. Yes, he was popular because he was funny and outgoing, because he always knew how to make a room laugh and how to present himself as the goofy friend. He had had one girlfriend all his life and that was about all the experience he had. He didn’t even know where to start with Chan.

“Alright then. On three?” Chan looked over at his best friend, who nodded slightly. He could literally see the sweat forming on Seungkwan’s forehead, could hear the speed of his heartbeat. While Chan wished for it to be himself, of course, he also kind of wished it would be Seungkwan you liked. He knew he wasn’t going to be mad at his best friend if he was the one you wanted. More so the opposite. Smiling at him now, Chan leaned over, his elbow softly nudging him in the side.

“Hyung, it’s gonna be fine, okay? Whatever the outcome, we will be fine.” The words touched Seungkwan more than they probably should and somehow he managed an honest smile before taking a deep breath.

“Okay. One.”

“Two.”

“Three!” The two of them said the last number in union, opening the papers at the same time, only to suck in their breaths. Two perfectly written Xs were right there in front of them. For the first few seconds they only stared at the paper, both of their hearts leaping out of their chests, their stomachs doing flips, butterflies spreading throughout every inch of their body. But then they realized what they were seeing, their heads almost simultaneously twirling around to look at the other. When neither of them saw disappointment, they felt confusion. When they looked at the other’s paper, they felt even more confusion.

The next hour was spent calling the 11 other friends that had been at the restaurant receiving a paper.

The hours after that were spent on Seungkwan’s bed, staring at the ceiling in their pjs.

“So,” Chan said after what felt like an eternity of silence.

“So,” Seungkwan replied.

“She likes both of us.” Hearing the words out loud made them seem sillier. Unreal, as well.

“Apparently,” Seungkwan shifted on his back, hands clasped and laid on his stomach, “what do we- what do we do?”

“I guess we’ll go to her place tomorrow.”

“Both of us?”

“She said whoever has an X on their paper is invited over at 8pm, hyung. So yes. Both of us.”

“And then what?”

Chan stayed silent at that once again. Yeah, then what? Gnawing on his bottom lip, he let the thought run through his mind. If you liked both of them, it could mean two things. One, you would want to choose eventually which one you liked better. But this seemed unlikely. You weren’t an indecisive person, they knew that. They knew you. So, option two seemed more realistic, while it also remained the somehow scarier one.

“I think,” Chan started, turning his head to face Seungkwan who was still staring ahead, “I think she wants us both. As in, she wants to date us both.”

Now, Seungkwan looked over at him.

“You really think so?”

“The other option just seems so unlike her. I think she has made her mind up about it and that’s why she even did this tonight. Yeah, she was kind of blindsided because Jeonghan hyung was being his same old enabler self, but… she wouldn’t have told us if she wasn’t ready to… you know. Commit to this.”

“And do you want to commit to this?” Seungkwan asked, wondering what Chan would answer. He was also wondering what he himself would answer.

“I don’t know. I think… I think I like her a lot, hyung. Like a whole damn lot. And I know you do too. You’re my best friend and I don’t- I don’t know how to explain this, but I feel like, if it’s with you I would be able to… do this.”

Surprise was displayed on the older boy’s face and he slowly sat up, Chan following his movement.

“So you’re saying that… if she wants both of us to be her boyfriends, you would be cool with that?”

“Yeah. I think so,” Chan hesitated a moment, “what about you?”

And there the question was. Laid out in front of Seungkwan, who had no idea what to say. Yes, he liked you. He liked you so, so much. But could he be in a poly relationship with you and his best friend? Could he- suddenly, the thought of Chan with you invaded his mind. You on top of Chan, kissing him, Chan’s hands all over your body, touching your skin. He couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to watch you, to hear you moan as Chan was kissing you, his hands somewhere between your legs…

“I think I would be too,” he breathed out now, his cheeks a little red and Chan looked at him attentively. Something in Seungkwan’s face, in his voice, had piqued his interest. He tilted his head, curiosity getting the best of him.

“What did you just think about?” He asked, not entirely sure why he was this intrigued.

“I-,” Seungkwan noticed the glint in Chan’s eyes, noticed the obvious curiosity and felt excitement rush over him. Clearing his throat, he laid back down on his back, Chan’s eyes on him at all times.

“I thought about what she would look like on top of you,” Seungkwan finally explained, not looking at his friend but instead back at the ceiling. His blood was rushing through his ears and down to his cock that slowly but surely grew in size. Chan stared at him, not sure what he had expected to hear and while a part of him had known it was something sexual, hearing it from Seungkwan himself made goosebumps erupt all over his skin.

When Chan didn’t say anything, Seungkwan continued.

“I thought about what she would sound like, what her moans would sound like when you touch her,” he licked his lips, the image back and so clear in front of his eyes. Now, Chan also laid down next to him, eyes fixed on a spot above them.

“I can see that, too, you know. Her on top of you. Her hips grinding down because she is so desperate for friction. She always seems so confident and in control, but I think when she’s horny she doesn’t have any of that control left.”

“Yeah, and she would.. she would be begging for us to touch her, to-,”

“To fuck her,” Chan finished the sentence for Seungkwan, who now felt his dick reach the ultimate hardness.

“Y-yeah,” Seungkwan stuttered, head dizzy, thoughts full of you and Chan and himself, in between the sheets, your wet and throbbing pussy around his size while you had your mouth on Chan’s hard cock. He had seen Chan naked more times than not, but none of these times had he been hard and for whatever reason, right now, he wished he had.

“Shit, I can totally see her, whiny and pouting, wanting all her holes stuffed with cocks, our cocks. She would suck on them so prettily, get her whole mouth full, wanting to touch herself but we wouldn’t let her, instead you’d go down on her, lick up her pussy and she’d moan around my cock, making me slip down further. Fuck, I bet she can take cock down all the way, I could feel it when i press down on her throat.”

Seungkwan had given up midway through Chan’s words. His hand was now down his pants, palming himself over his briefs, eyes closed as he listened to Chan’s voice. All the images of you were flooding his mind, making his hips move against his hand in a desperate attempt for even more friction.

Chan noticed Seungkwan then. Heard the noises his best friend made, his skin slightly beginning to tingle. Swallowing down the phantom lump in his throat, he let his own hand slip into his sweats, feeling his hard cock against the palm of his hand. Precum had already stained his briefs and he imagined you on your knees, sucking on his tip, catching the drips of his arousal.

“Do you think she’d let us fuck her tomorrow?” Seungkwan asked then, out of breath and his hand now fully around his clothed cock. Chan groaned at the question.

“God, I sure hope she does. Maybe on her couch? Sitting on my lap, riding me and you can fuck her sweet little mouth.”

“Fuck, bet she looks so pretty with her lips spread around our cocks,” both of them now slipped their hands fully into their underwear, the precum making it easy for them to jerk off. This had never happened before. Neither of them had ever just masturbated with a friend present. But this situation was oddly erotic and almost felt natural. Hearing each other breath hard, the slick of their wet dicks against their hands, the shifting of the duvet underneath them, as they arched their backs, fucking into their fists.

“Wanna see her tits full of our cum, fuck,” Chan bit down on his lip, hand speeding up and Seungkwan nodded harshly, vivid images of you naked and sprawled on his bed, cum decorating your body. In his head you would look at them with big, round eyes, fingers dipping into the white cream, sucking it off right after. He wondered if you liked to swallow cum, if you liked having it all over you. A part of him believed that you did.

“S-Shit, Y/N,” Seungkwan moaned finally, his orgasm hitting him just then, only a few seconds before Chan was hit by his own, cum shooting out and into his underwear. The two men moaned your name, fucking themselves through their orgasms before coming down from their highs, hands still around their softening cocks, chests heaving.

Without saying anything, Chan got up first to go to the bathroom and clean himself up, the post-nut clarity giving himself a bit of a freakout. Seungkwan felt the same as he stood up as well, heart pumping in his chest at godspeed, his now dirty briefs finding their way into his dirty laundry basket and a new pair found its way onto his body. Also slipping into a new pair of sweats, Seungkwan turned around when he heard the ajar door opening wider. Chan stood there, a new pair of underwear and pants on his frame.

“Can I sleep here?” Chan asked then. Seungkwan didn’t have to think twice before he nodded.

–

7:45 pm the next day and you had prepared yourself as well as your apartment for either success or failure. Right now, you had dimly lit your living area, candles on top of the couch table with three plates and sets of chopsticks, the Chinese take-out you knew Seungkwan and Chan liked so much stored in the microwave. You had no idea if they were coming. You were just hoping they would. The closer it got to 8 pm, the more your stomach turned in fear and excitement. You had put on what you would consider your sexiest outfit; a dark green bodycon dress that reached down to the middle of your thighs. A bit of silver jewelry and your hair in the way you usually liked it - you were more than content with yourself for the evening.

There is still a chance they won’t even show up.

Biting down on your painted lips, you let your eyes wander off to the clock by the door. 7:57 pm. Trying to make yourself calm down, you poured wine into one of the glasses standing on the table, drowning it in one go. While liquid courage might not have been the best solution - it still was one. Putting the glass back down, you almost dropped it to the floor when you heard your doorbell ring. Instantly, your heart began racing, eyes close to popping out as you hurried over to the door. Buzzing them up, you began one of your breathing exercises that you would usually do before going on stage. This wasn’t much different from stage fright- just that it was real and you wouldn’t have the chance to do it better the next night. No, this was it, this was the moment you had been hoping for, dreaming of.

The knock on your door brought you back to the here and now and after shaking out your shoulders one last time, you finally opened the door.

Nothing could have prepared the three of you for the feelings flooding you the moment the door was open, leaving nothing between you anymore. Seungkwan and Chan held their breaths once their eyes laid on you. The way you looked in your dress, showing off every single one of your curves. Knowing full well that you put on this dress for them made both of them feel their throats dry up. For a moment they were one, Chan and Seungkwan, their hearts beating the same beat only for you. Right then, it was only them and you on this earth and they were sure to make you feel just how much you meant to them.

And you? You couldn’t believe they were really here, both of them. Dressed in similar outfits, Chan wore a white dress shirt under a black jacket, while Seungkwan was dressed in all black. They looked incredible.

“You’re here,” you finally breathed out and the boys nodded, their eyes never leaving you.

“Of course,” Chan replied, a small smile playing on his lips making your knees weak.

“I’m glad. Come on in,” You took a step to the side, watching them as they walked inside your apartment. They had been here many times before, but nothing had ever felt like this. Already now did you feel goosebumps all over you, feel the urge to touch them, kiss them. All the things you had successfully suppressed over the time you had liked them were coming up at once, knocking the air right out of you.

After leaving their shoes at the door, the two of them followed you inside, their eyes slightly widening when they saw what you had prepared. The candles and the dim lights. The prettily set couch table.

“I ordered Chinese. Your favorite, I, uh, hope that’s okay,” you smiled, walking into the kitchen where you got the food containers out of the microwave, happy that they still seemed warm. Chan and Kwan watched you, both of them smiling warmly.

“That’s perfect, thanks Y/N,” Kwan said, taking the food from your hands to bring them over to the table. Feeling your cheeks warm up, you thanked him and finally you and Chan followed him over to the table where you finally sat down.

The nervosity clearly flowing around the table wasn’t too bad, you thought, but you did want to somehow ease the situation. Clearing your throat you poured both of them a glass of wine, sitting at the head of the table and the two men to your left and right. Their eyes on you made all of you tingle.

“Thanks,” they hummed when they took their glasses and you finally all had something to drink.

“Well, here is to tonight,” your voice was thankfully way more confident than you felt. Clinking your glasses you all took a sip from the red liquid, feeling the warmth of the alcohol joining the warmth of the situation. Chan and Seungkwan exchanged a look before letting their eyes linger on you again.

“So, you’re probably wondering what this,” you used your hands to make a circle between you and them, “is about?”

“We did come up with two possible options,” Chan nodded and you looked over at him.

“Okay.” God, how on earth were you supposed to play it cool when he looked at you this way? Chan was always handsome, but tonight was different somehow. His white button down wasn’t fully buttoned, very obviously showing the necklace he was wearing, silver and sexy and your absolute weakness. His hair was styled up, only a few strands falling into his face and, shit, did he look delicious.

“One of them was that you would tell one of us to leave at the end of the night,” he continued, watching you closely. You had already anticipated that this was the first thing they’d come up with. Society’s take on polygamy and all. Slowly, you nodded, wanting him to keep talking.

“The second one,” Seungkwan now chimed in, your head turning to him. He was also a sight to behold. Brown hair falling into his forehead as it always did. Pretty rings on his just as pretty fingers catching the light of the candles.

“Was you wanting both of us.”

Your stomach turned, the tone of his voice going straight between your legs. Gulping down, you nodded again.

“I see. Well, which one do you think is more likely?”

“The second one,” Chan answered immediately, Seungkwan nodding in agreement. If you were honest, this had been the thing you had been scared of the most. Them finding out you wanted both of them and feeling appalled by it. But judging by their reaction right now… it didn’t seem like they were.

“And you’re okay with that?” You asked cautiously and they chuckled, both of them shuffling closer to you. It was almost as if the whole room suddenly shifted. Your breath hitched when you felt their body heat in such close proximity.

“Very much,” Chan said, his hand softly caressing your cheek.

“More than okay, actually,” Seungkwan added, his lips right by your ear. Your core began throbbing, wetness gathering at your entrance, dripping out of you when you saw the way they both looked at you. Full of hunger, want, lust.

“I- I’m happy to hear that,” you whispered and then, without another moment going to waste, Chan kissed you softly. His lips tasted like wine and like him, and when he parted your lips, his tongue knocking into yours, all of you began to tremble. Seungkwan took it upon himself to shower your exposed neck with sensual kisses, his one hand finding your bare thigh and squeezing the flesh. You moaned into Chan’s mouth, feeling the older male’s hand on the other side of your neck.

Sure, you had thought that maybe at some point, if the two of them agreed to this, it would come to sex. Never had you expected it to go this way, them on you not even five minutes after they had set foot into your apartment. Not that you were complaining. Trying to figure out what to do with your hands you put one on Chan’s cheek, while the other laid down on Seungkwan’s resting on your leg, your lips moving against Chan’s in perfect rhythm.

When Chan parted from you, you turned your head, facing Seungkwan now who’s eyes seemed to sparkle when your gazes met, a small smile on both of your lips before you leaned in. Seungkwan tasted like wine as well, but different from Chan. They both had tastes that you could only describe as addictive, your hands now moving and finding themselves on Seungkwan’s chest and Chan’s neck, Chan who now took it upon himself to take over Seungkwan’s earlier mission. The kisses he left all over your neck and shoulders made you shiver and he chuckled against your skin, the vibrations making you moan again, this time into Seungkwan’s mouth.

“Perhaps we should move this somewhere else,” Chan suggested and Seungkwan parted from you, your eyes shifting between them.

“W-What about the food?” You croaked, Chan smirking as his thumb slid over your bottom lip.

“You have a microwave right? We can heat that up… later.”

–

You wouldn’t say that you lacked sexual experience. But then again you had never had a threesome before and up until you had started liking two of your closest friends, you had never thought you wanted one either.

Chan was behind you, his hands on the zipper of your favorite dress, slowly tugging it down. Seungkwan was in front of you, his hands on your cheeks as he kissed you passionately, your tongues in a heated dance, lips moving together as if they had never done anything else. How wonderful it was, both of them being good kissers. You loved kissing, but it happened more often than not that partners of yours just didn’t really know how to. Seungkwan and Chan, though, definitely took the cake. Sliding the dress off your body, Chan began to fondle your exposed skin, fingertips dancing over your skin, making goosebumps erupt once more. He let his mouth draw lines over your shoulder blades and the back of your neck, letting his tongue flick against your sensitive skin. You wanted to touch them both, wanted to feel them, find out everything there was to know about what they liked.

“You’re so beautiful, baby,” Chan whispered against your ear, his teeth finding your lobe and biting down on it, a whimper escaping you that had Seungkwan’s hands move down to your hips, gripping you tightly.

“Fuck, do that again, Channie,” he sighed and Chan did as asked, another whimper making both of their dicks twitch.

“So, so hot,” Chan brought his nimble fingers to the clasp of your bra, opening it without any trouble and soon you found yourself mostly naked - with the exception of your thong. Now, Chan’s hands moved over your stomach and up to your breasts, squeezing them, massaging them, thumb and index around your stiff nipples, your back arching against Seungkwan who still kissed you with so much fire it made you almost lose your footing. Being sandwiched in between them was better than anything you had ever experienced before, and when you thought about their cocks and how they would feel inside you, you couldn't help but grind your ass against Chan’s crotch.

“Oh? Are you needy, baby?” Chan teased, biting into your shoulder before sucking and leaving a perfectly red mark right there.

“Mhm, w-want you to get undressed too, ‘s unfair,” you whined, and Seungkwan looked at Chan over your shoulder, both of them wearing a smirk that definitely meant trouble.

“Is that right?” Seungkwan caressed the back of your head now, soft fingers through your hair and you nodded, a pout on your pretty lips.

“Well, who would we be to deny your wish?” Turning you around by the shoulders, Chan proceeded to push you down on your knees, your eyes widening when you felt the carpet hit your naked legs. Above you, the two men now began unbuttoning their shirts, their eyes never leaving you, and once they were done the pieces of clothing landed on the floor next to your dress and bra. You couldn’t stop staring at them. Both of them were extremely well built, even if Seungkwan didn’t really think so about himself. While Chan sported more muscle, Seungkwan’s body had something elegant, his shoulders wide, his neck probably the prettiest thing about him. Your eyes wandered over their abs, Chan’s maybe a bit more defined than Kwan’s, mouth watering when you saw their happy trails leading to what you could only presume to be the prettiest dicks you’d ever see.

“Be a good girl and help us with our pants, Y/N,” Chan said, and only now did you realize that he would be the one fully in charge. Your pussy throbbed at the thought and you nodded obediently, hands lifting to first open Chan’s trousers, button, then zipper shoving them down his lean legs, his thighs that made you clench around nothing. You looked up at him, saw the hunger in his eyes and bit your lip, not allowing yourself to let your eyes linger too long on his very obvious erection. Instead, you moved on to Seungkwan, doing the same as with Chan, just that this time you couldn’t help it. Seungkwan’s cock was big. Bigger than you had imagined. Your mouth dropped open and you were sure you were about to drool. Meanwhile, the two watched you, Seungkwan feeling his whole body grow hot when he saw the way you looked at his cock. He knew he was big, probably bigger than most of his peers, but he never really talked or felt like bragging about it. So, of course you’d be surprised. Chan, on the other side, smirked, seeing you in this state was incredibly hot and he snapped his finger once, making your head turn to him in an instant.

“Like Seungkwannie’s cock? How about you let it fuck your pretty mouth?”

Judging by the way Seungkwan twitched at Chan’s words, at least he was happy with that suggestion. But, so were you. Nodding your head, you looked back at Seungkwan, who inhaled sharply, his hands now tugging down his briefs exposing his hard, huge, leaking cock.

“Oh my god, Seungkwannie… s-so big,” you mumbled, your tongue shooting out to collect the precum that was pooling at his slit. He moaned slightly, finding the back of your head with his left hand.

“Slowly, babe. We don’t want you suffocating,” he smiled and you shivered, leaning forward to finally catch him between your lips. Hell, was it better than either of your imaginations. You, on your knees, lips stretched out around Kwan’s cock. Chan felt himself twitch, moving behind you, exchanging a look with Seungkwan.

“Good girl, so good for us,” Chan praised you now, when you took even more of Seungkwan into your mouth. The older of the two men couldn’t help but let out breathy moans that spurred you on even more, the determination to get him completely down your throat bigger than ever. And then you felt it. Felt Chan’s hands on either side of your head, shoving you forward. He was moving your head to match Seungkwan’s pleasure. Fuck, that was hot. You couldn’t keep your eyes open, instead they rolled back, and Seungkwan watched you with his own mouth dropped, before he slowly looked up at Chan who’s eyes were locked on the way his best friend’s dick was sliding in and out of your throat. You felt Seungkwan twitch on your tongue, his tip now repeatedly hitting the back of your throat, gags erupting your body as well as chokes that made both men feel even more feral than before.

Chan began moving you down Seungkwan’s cock quicker now, Seungkwan sure he wasn’t going to last long anymore, but a part of him didn’t really mind. He knew he was probably going to watch Chan fuck you and, fuck, was he excited to see that. Moaning your name, he grabbed some of your hair, pulling on it as he couldn’t help but buckle his hips. Tears were streaming down your face, but nothing about this was unenjoyable. Every thrust of Seungkwan’s hips combined with Chan’s pushing of your head was everything you had hoped for and more. Your core was dripping at this point, the thong useless, arousal dripping down onto the carpet and if you had been in any other headspace you might have begun asking yourself how you were gonna get that out. “F-fuck, I’m gonna cum,” Seungkwan cried out, his hips moving at a sloppier pace now and you groaned, excitement flowing through you.

“Do you want Seungkwan to cum in your mouth, baby? Or should he come somewhere else?” Chan pulled you off Seungkwan’s cock, you finally able to catch your breath, chest heaving and your eyes blinking rapidly.

“W-wanna eat his cum, can I?”

“God, yes, yes you can,” Seungkwan slipped into your mouth again and Chan smirked as he now let his best friend take the lead and instead sat down on the bed, palming himself over his briefs watching Seungkwan fuck down your throat desperately. You held onto his thighs, eyes rolled back again, hearing yourself gag over and over again mixed with the dirty sound of his slick cock inside your hot mouth making it hard for you not to just come untouched.

“You take my cock so well, such a good girl, so perfect for my big cock,” Seungkwan whined, and you nodded as well as you could with him rutting down your throat. When you pressed your tongue against his girth, sliding along his veins, he couldn’t hold himself back anymore. He moaned your name once more, pushing your head as close to his abdomen as possible, his hot thick cum shooting down your throat. You tried your best to swallow it all, but some escaped your mouth when he finally pulled out, his eyes unfocused by the strength of that orgasm.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk. Look at who made a mess,” Chan titled his head looking at you and you let your fingers slide over your chin where traces of Seungkwan were still present, sucking them into your mouth.

“Seungkwannie is so tasty,” you giggled then, eyes wandering from Chan back to the man who had just fucked the life out of your mouth. His spent cock twitched at your words and he caressed your face, before helping you back on your feet, his lips catching yours, leading you into a soft kiss that made another set of butterflies go crazy inside your stomach.

Fondness engulfed Chan now, who still sat on the bed. He really hadn’t thought this was possible, but sometimes life took a turn no one could have predicted. Him being happy about his best friend kissing the girl he liked. Him being hard as a rock from watching his bist friend fuck your mouth. Now, he felt immense proudness somehow, proud that apparently all of you were mature enough to not be jealous or possessive - even though he wasn’t so sure how he’d feel if anyone else joined or had you. Maybe it was just him and Seungkwan he liked around you in this way.

“Come here,” he now said and you and Seungkwan parted, you now walking over to Chan, while Seungkwan took a seat on the bed as well, resting against the headboard. You came to a halt in front of the pretty man and his hands found their way to your waist, right above the waistband of your drenched thong. Licking his hips, he pulled you closer.

“We should get rid of this, shouldn’t we?” he asked, but it was rhetorical. The next second he had already begun shoving it down, a shiver going through you when your wet cunt hit the air of the room. You stepped out of the underwear and Chan pulled you even closer, his breath fanning over your stomach. Your eyes never left his, feeling his fingers glide upwards again, his right hand moving between your thighs and getting a breathy gasp out of you when his fingertips touched your pussy.

“Fuck, she’s so, so wet, Seungkwan,” Chan let a film of your arousal coat his fingers before letting his left hand move up even further until it was on your right tit, squeezing it harshly.

“Ch-Chan, pl-please,” your knees almost gave in and Chan chuckled, one finger skillfully sinking into you and making you cry out.

“What is it, baby? Do you want me to finger your sweet little pussy?” He asked as he was already doing just that. His finger slipped in and out of you at an agonizingly slow pace and you had trouble holding still, your hands now resting on Chan’s shoulders, teeth buried in your bottom lip, hips moving against his hand.

“M-More, I can take it, Channie.”

“Oh, I bet you can, princess. Not yet, though,” Chan smirked again, before quickening his pace, thumb now pressing onto your clit. You moaned loudly, eyes falling shut. You didn’t know how he did it, but you already felt like cumming. Your walls clenched around his one single digit and he sucked in a breath when he felt it, felt the throbbing inside of you.

“Fuck, you’re already close, aren’t you a little slut…,” he mumbled, staring at your pussy, the wetness of his finger and just you. How was he ever going to get enough?

Seungkwan was still sitting behind Chan, not able to see the way he fingered you, but just your face alone was enough to start his dick getting hard again. He was lazily jerking himself off, watching the way your face contorted in pleasure. He probably wouldn’t need much more to cum again, just this would be enough.

“Mhmm, Ch-Channie pl-please, m-more,” you begged again and Chan felt his cock twitch, not sure how long he could resist giving in to you. For now, he just let his thumb draw circles on your clit, pressing down on it harshly as he let his finger slide in and out. And then, suddenly, his thumb was gone and you were about to protest, when it was replaced by something better.

His tongue leaped at your clit, flicking at it over and over again before sucking it into his mouth, the high pitched moan you let out music to his ears and his cock, Seungkwan behind him cursing under his breath. Chan couldn’t help himself. He wanted to taste you so fucking bad. Not really knowing what he was doing, he pulled his finger out of you and instead brought both his hands to your hips, turning you around and throwing you on the bed, he himself now on his knees, tongue in between your thighs.

“F-fuck, Chan!” You screamed, hands finding his hair, back arching against his mouth. He devoured you. Sucking your clit into his mouth first, moving down to your sopping entrance next, tongue fucking you, thumb back to his earlier ministrations. You couldn’t keep it down, he was too good at this, too good at making you feel like you were going to cum in the next three seconds.

Seungkwan somehow got fully hard again, his hand wrapped around his length, moving up and down as he stared at Chan between your legs, sweat on his forehead.

“Does he make you feel good, Y/N? You like Channie eating you out like this?” He breathed out and you nodded, your eyes flying open to look at Seungkwan, clenching around Chan’s tongue when you saw Seungkwan jerking off.

“Yo-You’re hard again, Kwannie,” you groaned and he nodded.

“How could I not be? Look at you baby, you’re a fucking sight to behold.”

Just then you felt Chan’s tongue back on your clit, two fingers pushing into you next and a scream left you, nails digging into Chan’s scalp, hips moving rapidly against his face and fingers, the man between your legs enjoying every second of it. He put his all into making you cum, fingers curling, hitting your spot, tongue circling your clit, pressing down on it and sucking it into his mouth again, drowning in your taste and smell, his free hand inside his briefs now, fucking his cock into his fist.

“‘M gonna c-cum, Chan, d-don’t stop!” He wasn’t going to. If anything he was just going to keep going to make you cum again. When your first orgasm hit you, you kept on chanting Chan’s name, your hips uncontrollably moving against his face, pussy throbbing around his fingers. When he didn’t stop after your high was over you felt yourself fall, your back lifting off the bed, seeing black and white in front of your eyes when he somehow got another orgasm out of you mere seconds after the first one.

Finally, Chan parted from you, his face full of your arousal, a smirk on his lips as he climbed on top of the bed, his briefs discarded on the floor. You were out of breath, feeling fucked out already. You weren’t willing to stop just yet though.

“Came so good for us, baby. So pretty and perfect,” Chan kissed your neck and finally your lips, your own taste spreading in your mouth. Hazily opening your eyes when he parted from you, you felt new energy sweep into you the second you saw what he did next. He moved to Seungkwan, the fingers that had been inside of you right in front of the older male’s mouth.

“Wanna taste her?” Chan asked, and Seungkwan nodded quickly, sucking Chan’s fingers into his mouth. Your pussy clenched, another set of arousal dropping onto the bed.

“Oh wow,” you breathed out, sitting up and watching how Seungkwan’s eyes rolled back at your taste, Chan so incredibly hard, cock twitching at the way it felt to have Seungkwan suck on his fingers. You were on your knees now, hands on Chan’s shoulders, lips attaching to his neck, sucking harshly on the skin. Moving down, you let your right hand grab around him, precum making it so easy for you to begin to jerk off his pretty cock. Chan moaned, pulling his fingers out of Seungkwan’s mouth only to grab him by the neck and crash their lips together, making you basically rub yourself against Chan’s backside. Fuck, it was so hot to watch them kiss, to watch how Seungkwan’s tongue twirle around Chan’s getting even more of your taste into his own mouth.

Kissing Seungkwan was better than Chan had imagined. But then, he had never really imagined it before. And perhaps he would never do it outside the bedroom - but that was a thought for another day. Right now he just knew he enjoyed it, enjoyed Seungkwan’s tongue against his own, liked the way he tasted of wine and now of you. When they parted from each other, saliva was connecting their lips and their hooded eyes were staring into each other. You, behind Chan, were groaning, biting into Chan’s shoulder slightly.

“That was so hot, fuck, I need you both to fuck me like right now.”

Chan and Seungkwan looked back at you.

“How do you want us?” Chan asked, thumb sliding over your bottom lip.

“One in the front, the other in the back. I have lube in my nightstand.”

Holy fuck. Seungkwan and Chan groaned, and before you knew what was happening they had you in between them again, Seungkwan kissing you hard on the lips while Chan licked and sucked and kissed your neck, every bit of skin he could catch. You moaned against them, hands finding their cocks and beginning to jerk them both off at the same speed. The two men breathed hard, hands roaming over your body, one hand each on your tits, while the other was either in your hair or your ass. At this point you couldn’t even tell which hand belonged to whom, the horny daze in your brain too much. But you needed them, you needed them to fill you up, needed their cocks to fuck you hard and until you couldn’t walk properly anymore.

Eventually you ended up on all fours, Seungkwan behind you, lube in his hand, and he couldn't stop staring at your pretty backside. He squeezed lube onto his finger and onto your tight hole, beginning to prep you slowly. Feeling his finger enter you hurt only a bit at the beginning, but he was so careful and soft it made it almost impossible not to enjoy. And with Chan kneeling in front of you, his cock in his hand, you felt like nothing could go wrong that night.

“Wanna suck your cock, Channie,” you blinked up at him and the boy smiled, bringing his member to your lips.

“Stick out your tongue,” he commanded and you did it, his cock slapping down on your tongue a few times right then. You moaned, clenching around nothing as Seungkwan eased into your ass easier with you getting more relaxed.

“Good girl. Now, suck on my tip, no tongue,” again you followed his order, sucking his tip into your mouth, your tongue so eager to touch him, taste him, but you wanted to be obedient and so you only watched him, tongue resting inside your mouth. Chan’s breathing was getting harder, his vision blurry. God, you looked so good, your lips stretched around his cock.

“You’re so fucking hot,” he finally gave in, shoving his cock further inside your mouth, moaning loudly when he felt your tongue press against him, when he felt your throat restrict around him. He began fucking your mouth, changing the angle so he is inside your cheek, fucking against it over and over, the soft inside of it making stars appear around his head.

Meanwhile, Seungkwan had managed to get another finger inside you, the fullness making you cry out in pleasure and just the thought of Seungkwan’s big cock filling your hole in a bit making your head feel dizzy.

Chan knew he wouldn’t last any longer with how good it felt to be inside your mouth, pulling out to instead hold his cock by the base, staring down at you.

“Such a perfect slut for us, I can’t believe we’re this lucky,” he mumbled, his fingers caressing your cheek before checking in with Seungkwan, who nodded.

“I think she’s ready. What do you say, pretty baby?”

“Am ready. Need you so bad,” you wiggled your hips and Seungkwan chuckled before grabbing a condom and giving another one to Chan. You pouted a little - part of you wished they would just fuck you raw.

“After all of us getting tested we’ll gladly fill you up with our cum, baby,” Chan seemed to have read your mind, your cheeks beginning to burn while he smirked down at you.

Seungkwan positioned himself behind you, one hand on your hip, the other around his cock. The condom was on and another squeeze of lube coated it, making it an almost perfect glide when he sunk into you, the feeling of you around him so good he couldn’t help but moan in pleasure. Chan watched, ripping the condom open to roll it up his cock, waiting for Seungkwan to fully sink inside so he could take his place inside your throbbing cunt.

“A-ah, Seungkwan,” you whimpered, tears pooling in your eyes when you felt him bottom out. He twitched inside you, hands now both on your hips.

“You are so tight and perfect, princess, could cum right away,” his words made you shiver, and when he pulled you up, your back meeting his chest, you felt him slip inside even deeper, your eyes rolling back. Chan moved forward now, fingers on your core, lips finding yours for a soft kiss.

“Ready for me?” He asked and you nodded, one arm behind you, wrapping around Seungkwan’s neck, while the other was sneaking around Chan’s shoulders. The latter licked his lips, lining his cock with your entrance and beginning to push in. You gasped at the feeling of him stretching your walls, his body so close to yours, both of the men literally breathing against your skin, not even an inch of air between you. Nothing had ever felt better and right now you couldn’t imagine ever having sex another way. You looked into Chan’s eyes, felt him bottom out and the feeling of fullness is so much another set of tears pools in your eyes.

“M-move, god, please fuck me,” you cried and they share one last look before giving you what you want (and what they want for that matter).

The first thrusts were almost simultaneous. Chan and Seungkwan tried to match each other’s pace, but soon enough they got lost in their own pleasure. You, between them, were a moaning mess, tears streaming over your cheeks at this point, fingernails digging into the skin of the two men making you feel like the sexiest and most precious being on this earth. Hearing them breath hard, moan, groan, it was all like heaven to you.

“You’re so fuckign tight, fuck, taking us so well,” Chan’s lips were on your neck, another mark showing up, Seungkwan on the other side, his hips frantically moving, lips latched onto your neck and shoulders whenever he wasn’t moaning your name and how good your ass was for his cock. Chan picked up the pace, chasing his high and hoping to take you with him, his hands finding your tits and squeezing them, while your own hand now moved in between your bodies, thumb on your clit getting you even wetter.

“Shit, you’re gonna make me cum,” Chan’s whisper into your ear made you tremble and you pushed your hips against Seungkwan who grabbed your hips even harsher, sure to leave a bruise.

“Won’t last long, f-fuck,” he felt like his head was about to explode.

“Want both of you to cum for me, please. Wish you were fucking me raw, want your cum in me so bad,” you didn’t know how you were able to form a cohesive sentence, but it did it’s job. The two men moaned, their cocks throbbing and twitching as they became even sloppier, both their heads buried in between your neck and shoulder, moaning against your sweaty skin as they came at the exact same time, cum shooting into the condoms and finally taking you over the edge for a third time. You milked them for all they had, collapsing against Chan in front of you, the exhaustion taking over. Your pussy still pulsated around Chan, making it hard for him to leave you, but looking at Seungkwan, he knew they should probably get you to lay down.

They pulled out, Seungkwan helping you into the sheets, your eyes fluttering open and a smile spreading on your tired lips.

“That was incredible,” you whispered and Seungkwan nodded, softly moving the hair out of your face.

“You are incredible,” he then added, kissing your forehead. Chan had gone to the bathroom meanwhile, getting you a wet towel which he now used to clean you up. Sadly for all of you, there wasn’t any of their cum involved. Still, you were thankful for the help, considering you would need at least another ten minutes of resting before you could get yourself to the bathroom.

–

The food tasted great even when heated up. After getting dressed again (even though you did change into pajama shorts and a top instead of your dress) and peeing, the three of you had come back to the living space to finish the actual date. It was maybe slightly awkward, but nothing another glass of wine couldn’t fix.

“So,” you started, clearing your throat, “what does this mean for us now?” You looked from Seungkwan to Chan and back.

“That you’re our girlfriend, right?” Chan raised his brows and you felt your cheeks heat up. Coughing once you slowly nodded.

“I mean… if you’re cool with that?”

“Cool with that?” Seungkwan laughed, “we literally just fucked the life out of you, we are more than “cool with that”, Y/N.”

You stared at him for a few seconds. Then you broke out into a laugh.

“Fair enough. Well then… yes, I am your girlfriend. You are… my boyfriends,” the smile wouldn’t leave your lips.

“So, how exactly are we gonna tell the others?” Chan leaned back on his hands, a grin on his pretty face.

“Well, first of all I should really let them know how wrong they got their guess. But to be fair - I am an incredible actor, so obviously no one would have known.”

“Well, you also didn’t know we liked you back, does that make us good actors too?” Seungkwan raised his brows. You thought about this for a second.

“I guess that makes all of us a perfect match. Easy as that.” And when they laughed and you ended up falling asleep on the couch later that night they couldn’t even deny how right you were. Nothing had ever felt more perfect than this. Than you.

#svt smut #seventeen smut #boochan smut #lee chan smut #dino smut #chan svt smut #dino x reader #chan x reader #lee chan x reader #chan x you #dino x you #boo seungkwan smut #seungkwan smut #seungkwan x reader #seungkwan x you

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mapileonxputellas · 2 years ago

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Pride and Joy (Mapi Leon x Reader)

Ok I just had to write something for this! Only small but I've hopefully got an Aitana or Alexia fic coming up next. 1.5k words x

It had been branded around in the media so many times over the past few years, you get asked the question all the time in press conferences and journalists all over the world have their opinion on it.

Does winning get boring? Does lifting trophies ever lose its appeal?

The answer, for you at least, was a resounding no.

Every year the league and the whole of Europe strengthened and every year you felt prouder and prouder of the team. As vice-captain to Alexia you had spent most of the year as captain as well as being the main striker and this season you definitely felt the most pressure on you.

At 2-0 down you never lost hope, you’d been a part of the team last year and you were determined to not let it be the same this year.

Alexia was one of your best friends and you liked to think the two of you worked well as a captaincy team, she was the bad (though not very bad) cop to your good cop. You went around all the players giving them a little pep talk before Bruna and Vicky bombarded you up in their own hug.

“Keep going Y/N. It’ll come.” Though no-one wanted to admit it, you all had favourites on the team and you had taken both Vicky and Bruna in as your little sisters.

Patri was probably your best friend in the squad and you couldn’t have been more pleased to see her get the recognition she deserves with the two goals, when the first one went in so quickly after half time you knew you were going to go and win it. This team never gave up and just like that you were winning.

You couldn’t believe it when the ball came to you. It seemed to spend hours at Mariona’s feet, bouncing around the box before falling at your feet. You’d spent all year waiting for this moment, from the disappointment of the Euro’s to the injury struggles around the team and all them thoughts went into you thundering that ball so hard there was never any chance of it not ending up in the back of the net.

In the blink of an eye the net rippled and you had no thought but to run into the corner and celebrate with the fans. You tried to take in the moment, all your teammates around you as the fans went wild in the stands but all you could do is connect eyes with the woman you loved the most in the world and share a smile together, your pinkies interlocking in the midst of all the craziness.

Before taking your place in the other half you quickly made your way over to the bench, finding Bruna and Vicky on the bench and giving them both a hug. “Thanks girls.”

Added time seemed to go on forever, the seven minutes felt like seven hours but then the final whistle went and it was even better than you could ever remember.

What made the celebrations even more special was celebrating it with Mapi, your wife. Affection between the two of you on the pitch was very limited, you may have an arm around each other at the end of some matches but today it felt different. The two of you shared an embrace at full time and you couldn’t help but press a small kiss on her lips, wishing you could savour the smile on her face forever.

“You’re fucking incredible Maria.” You told your wife. “This is incredible.”

“Third best day of my life.”

“Te amo.” You whispered.

“Te amo.”

The two of you had got together shortly after she moved to Barcelona and this was your sixth season playing with her. A lot had changed in that time, you’d got married, shared countless moments together but the biggest change was stood in the stands watching as Alexia lifted the trophy once again and shared the trophy around.

“I’m going to go and get her.” You whispered to your wife, pressing a subtle kiss to her cheek before making your way to the side lines where your families were both stood. You gave both your mother’s a quick greeting before your father passed over your bundle joy, the one thing that got you through the countless hard moments in football.

“Mama, won.” Your daughter cheered in your arms. “Ma?”

“Let’s go and get her.”

Your daughter, though shielded from the media as much as possible, attended as many games as possible with either of your families. Elena was just over 2 years old and she’d changed your life in every way but it made moments like this even more special. She was a regular at training sessions and team outings so it was no surprise that when the rest of the team saw you walking over with Elena in your arms they all broke into cheers.

After having her moment with Mapi, which nearly brought you both to tears, Elena was passed around the team like a hot potato. Everyone wanting their moment with the team’s unofficial mascot.

You were soaking in the moment with Mapi when someone from the TV station approached you both. “Can we grab you both for an interview?”

It wasn’t unusual for you to give interviews together, though you were both focused on the football you had given the occasional interview on your life together and both heavily campaigned for women’s and LGBTQ+ rights. You both agreed and left Elena in the capable hands of Caro, who was keeping an eye on her as Claudia tried to persuade her to make angels in the confetti with her, before making your way over to the interviewer.

“Y/N and Mapi thank you for joining us, congratulations. What was the mood like at half time when you were 2-0 down?”

“I don’t think any one of us thought we couldn’t win it, we were getting the chances but just missing that final touch or pass. We showed that class in the second half and I think we more than deserved the win.” You explained. “This is such an amazing team and we know we can beat anyone, I’m just so lucky I get to call this people my teammates.”

“Mapi she’s taken the team option, tell us about your wife with that winning goal.”

“I’m the lucky one, I get to call this one not only my teammate but my wife.” Mapi always had a way with words and you couldn’t help but blush as she wrapped her arm around your waist. “All she needed was that one moment and I knew when it fell to her it would end up in the back of the net.”

“How does this compare to two years ago?”

“It’s very different.” You answered. “That was our first time winning it and getting over that hurdle but it feels so much more satisfying winning it in front of our amazing fans. We couldn’t do this without them and I’m glad we could provide them with the win and a bit of entertainment.”

“We had to show our desire today, I think everyone can see how much this means to us and how much we wanted it. Sometimes that makes it just the bit more satisfying.” Mapi explained.

You were about to get the final question when you felt hands tugging at your shorts and looked down to find Elena between you both. In some situations you may have wanted to shield her but you wanted to celebrate as a family and Mapi must have felt that too and she picked her up onto her hip as you assured Caro it was alright.

“Plus we now have this one to celebrate it with.” Mapi added.

“What is it like having your daughter in the stands watching?”

“Incredible, we do it all for her. We’re so lucky to have this team with us and they support us every single day. Yeah I just want to do her proud and I hope we’ve done that today.”

“Elena do you have any words to say?” The interviewer pointed the mic at your daughter who in her usual confident self almost fell out of Mapi’s hands trying to reach for it.

“Barca, Barca, Barca.” She chanted making all the production crew and yourselves burst out in laughter as she recited the chant Mapi had been teaching her.

“Who’s your favourite player Elena?”

They were probably expecting her to say one of you two but you knew she wouldn’t do that. She went back and forward every week picking whoever had given her the most attention in training that week. “Tana.” She chose this time.

“Very good, thank you all.”

“Thanks.” You both said before walking off to find all your teammates behind you.

“I love you both.” You whispered placing a kiss on both of their heads. “Thank you so much.”

“No thank you.”

#mapi leon #mapi leon x reader #mapi leon imagines #mapi leon imagine #woso imagine #woso imagines #barcelona femeni #espwnt x reader #espwnt #woso #woso x reader

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kitorin · 2 years ago

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how they react when they catch you simping for a fictional character

pairings. shidou ryusei x gn!reader, itoshi rin x m!reader, mikage reo x gn!reader (separate)

contents. crack, smau, a sexual joke and a half (it's just ryusei being ryusei) shinonome akito slander (I'M SORRY I PROMISE I LOVE HIM BUT RIN DOESN'T), exposing my taste in men, written all in lowercase, spoilers for sounds of a summer event (project sekai)

a/n. i thought of this bc i questioned if i liked rin or akito more 😭, and sorry for rin's being so long since i had the most ideas for him :>. i also have no confidence with crack so please bear with me and it's my first smau

shidou ryusei - seong taehoon (how to fight / viral hit)

when he caught you gawking at the new viral hit chapter, taehoon specifically, he immediately joined you (as he should)

he straight up yelled "smash" at that one scene where taehoon's snacking and he's wearing a tight shirt so you can see all of his muscles

he begs you to re read the series with them, and now you two read each update every week together, fully engaged in the story and taehoon's abs

attempts to recreate all of taehoon's kicks (i headcanon that does taekwondo and has a black belt :>), proudly shows them off to you, with a huge grin on his face (please fawn over him too)

also extensively practices so he can show them off by incorporating them into soccer somehow (doesn't matter if it ain't practical he just wants to impress you), and if he ever has to use them on anyone making you uncomfortable

he probably has a folder in his gallery dedicated to every panel he loves (which is basically all) and recreates his absolute favs (with you as his photographer)

makes a lot of jokes about being in love with taehoon (so do you), but he'd stop them if they made you uncomfortable, and reassures you that a drawing can't compare to how sweet, amazing and perfect you are

honorable mentions to baek seongjun being his second favourite

wants you to do taekwondo as well cause now he has a thing for it after discovering taehoon

"i swear to god men who do taekwondo and can actually fight are so hot,"

"isn't that you?"

"... you don't agree with me...?"

"no you have a brilliant point"

itoshi rin - shinonome akito (project sekai)

during the sounds of a summer festival event you spent so much time glued to your phone, full combo-ing literally every hard, expert, and master song you possibly could, leveling up all character ranks, sacrifice countless of hours of sleep (if it's for akito it's very much worth it), and even contemplate spending money

you even tweeted about how badly you need him

rin notices the bags under your eyes, and the lack of sleep you had been getting, he's worried and when he asks you you're too focused on the event story to even register what he says, as you're on the brink of sobbing at young akito and ena

he observes as well, and immediately is jealous of how much of your attention this fictional character was receiving from you

as you're about to spend another few hours grinding, he stops you

"dumbass you need to sleep, and give your eyes a break"

"no i don't, i need summer festival akito,"

"who and what?"

soon you're rambling on how much akito's backstory and struggles already hurt, and how wholesome yet painful the event story was, with akito quitting soccer and ena encouraging him to give music a try, and it only nurtures rin's envy

"you're going to cry for a ginger guy who quit soccer and started his ambition because of his older sister? how lukewarm,"

"yes i am?? and he looked cute as a child and now he's a pretty boy with the best vocals. their event cards are beautiful too i need them. didn't you start soccer because of sae anyways?"

"tch"

"rin... are you jealous?"

"... no, i just don't get what you see in this idiot. i never quit soccer when it got hard and i know how to persevere, i don't give up, i don't experience despair when someone's better than me-"

"so you're jealous,"

"no"

"rin you always have and always will be my number 1. akito can't do anything you've done for me, and can't even compare to how pretty you are,"

"damn right,"

despite being salty, he still installs the game to read the stories, out of pure curiosity and wants to understand what kind of stuff you like

he ends up adoring ena and akito's relationship (the supportive part only ofc), as well as tsukasa and saki's (and secretly wishes sae was as affectionate as shizuku since she reminds him of sae in the past)

you do not shut up when you seem him struggle with hitorinbo envy on master

"I THOUGHT YOU SAID AKITO WAS LUKEWARM,"

"he is, i was just curious why you liked the stories so much,"

"YOU SPENT EVERY FREE CRYSTAL ON THE FIND A WAY OUT EVENT AND NOW GRINDING FOR MORE,"

"... i want his boyfriend"

"YOU READ THE MAIN STORY TOO ?! and you don't need touya you have me"

"THAT'S HOW I FELT ABOUT AKITO,"

"YOU FEEL INFERIOR TO A LUKEWARM GINGER?"

mikage reo - kang tae moo (business proposal)

he heard you squealing at a scene of tae moo getting flustered after sunghoon suggested his feelings for hari

he thought that you were having a heart attack and thought something was wrong

reo doesn't even need the show's context to be invested immediately, as he joins you and watches with great interest

after seeing you simp over tae moo, in secret, he binge watches the rest of the series in attempt to mimic any romantic scenes

full on posts the "do you know what my credit card and my love for y/n have in common? they simply have no limit" on his not very private twitter account, and it leaves you flustered by all the comments saying how lucky you are and their jealousy

deletes any comment revealing the source of that line (silently apologises to the writer(s) and credits ahn hyo seop for its brilliant execution)

little does he know nagi made a tweet exposing him

also recreates other cute scenes from the show, and starts looking for more kdramas to watch and recreate (still gets fully absorbed in the plot and dialogue)

innocently smiles when you realize he's just a kang tae moo copycat

"i didn't copy him i'm the inspiration behind him, rich, smart, pretty and utter perfection,"

"i can't deny the second part... i can't believe nagi's seen business proposal,"

"wait what?"

©kouyun : do not repost, plagiarize, change, or translate

#blue lock #blue lock x reader #blue lock x you #blue lock x y/n #shidou ryusei #shidou ryusei x reader #itoshi rin x reader #itoshi rin x male reader #blue lock x male reader #itoshi rin #mikage reo #mikage reo x reader #mikage reo x you

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astars-things · 2 years ago

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hello! could you please write an imagine for jack hughes with a ‘she fell first but he fell harder’ trope with them being like childhood besties. like jack always thought of the reader as a sister but she loved him FOREVER and then finally she grows up and let’s go of the idea of being with him and starts dating other guys and then jacks like “oh damn” and goes to win his girl back. like a lot of angst with a fluff ending pls. lots of love xx

sorry for the wait

Pairing Jack Hughes x reader

Y/n always knew she loved Jack, ever since they were kids. They grew up together, spending countless hours playing in the park, climbing trees, and exploring the woods. they were inseparable, always getting into mischief and having the time of our lives.

Jack was her best friend, her partner in crime, and the person she could always count on. But as they both got older, Y/n feelings for him grew stronger, and she started to see him in a different light. She knew it was foolish to fall in love with her best friend,

As they grew older, Jack started to see Y/n as more of a little sister, and he protected her fiercely

One day, they were out exploring the woods behind their houses, as they often did. Jack was climbing a tree when Y/n heard a branch snap. She looked up just in time to see Jack lose his footing and fall from the tree. Y/n ran over to him, her heart pounding in her chest, and saw that he had broken his arm.

After that day, things changed. Jack became more cautious, and Y/n started to worry about him constantly. She realized how much she loved him, but she didn’t want to ruin their friendship by confessing her feelings.

Years passed, and Y/n found herself dating other guys, but none of them ever measured up to Jack. He was always in the back of her mind, the one person she could never fully let go of.

One day, Jack came to her with a serious expression on his face. He sat her down and told her that he had finally realized how much she meant to him, how much he cared about her, and how much he loved her. Y/n’s heart skipped a beat as she listened to his words.

“I know I’ve always treated you like a little sister, Y/n, but I can’t deny my feelings anymore. I’ve fallen for you, and I want to be with you, if you’ll have me.”

Y/n was speechless, overwhelmed by the flood of emotions that washed over her. She had dreamed of this moment for so long, but now that it was happening, she didn’t know what to do.

Jack took her hand and looked into her eyes. “Please, Y/n. I love you, and I want to make this work. I know I fell first, but I’m falling harder every day.”

Y/n looked at him, tears streaming down her face, and finally found her voice. “I love you too, Jack. I’ve loved you forever.”

Jack’s face lit up with a smile, and he pulled Y/n into a tight embrace. She felt safe and warm in his arms, finally realizing that this was where she belonged.

From that day on, they were inseparable, building a life together filled with love and adventure. Y/n knew that she had always been meant to be with Jack, and she was grateful that he had finally seen it too.

They spent their days exploring the mountains, hiking and camping under the stars. Y/n painted the beautiful scenery while Jack climbed the tallest peaks. They were the perfect team, balancing each other out in all aspects of life.

But it wasn’t always easy. They had their disagreements and struggles, just like any couple, but they always managed to work through it, relying on their strong friendship as the foundation of their love

#thanks anon!#send in requests #jack hughes x reader #jack hughes

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thebluestbluewords · 1 year ago

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mother knows best

They meet the heroes of their parent’s stories.

It’s not as bad as Evie has been anticipating.

Here’s the thing about being friends with the king: it provides a lot more than just friendship. Diplomatic immunity isn’t quite the word Evie would use to describe their new status, but there’s a sort of leeway that they get with adults now that Ben has shown that he’s willing to vouch for them, and none of the powerful, important, interesting families who need something from the young king would risk being too blatantly rude to his friends.

So. They meet the heroes from their parent’s stories, and it goes fine.

Evie smiles politely at Snow, who is technically her sister. In another world, they might have grown up together. Might have been friends, or at least acquaintances, trapped together in the same castles, avoiding the same woman together.

Or not.

“I read your latest piece in the historical fashion journal,” Evie says politely, over the dinner that has been arranged by her sister, so that they can meet one another in a common space with the least potential for problems to arise. It’s a nice restaurant, the sort that has tiny candles in fancy glass dishes on the table, and a separate menu just for wines. It’s nice enough that Evie is glad she wore her navy blue kitten heels, even though her feet are going to be aching where they’re tight on her heels later. “It was very well-written. I especially enjoyed the section on beadwork in the western kingdoms.”

Snow offers a faint smile. “Thank you. I appreciate it.”

Evie sits perfectly still. She’s been trained by her mother on how to be polite and unobtrusive during a formal dinner, and how to be sweet and desirable for a prince during a dinner date, but meeting her sister for their first real chance at getting to know each other isn’t quite either of those things, and she’s not sure how to proceed properly, aside from attempting more polite flattery and small talk.

It’s not polite to fidget with her utensils, no matter how much Evie would like something to do with her hands. Maybe she can sip her water, once it arrives. She’ll sip carefully, without messing up her lipstick.

“Your hair looks lovely,” Snow says, unexpectedly. “Blue suits you.”

Evie does not jump.

“Thank you,” she says instead, and keeps her hands out of her hair, which is indeed lovely. “It’s my natural color.”

Snow nods. “I remember. Grimhilde’s is the same way.”

Evie hasn’t seen her mother’s natural hair since she was a child. They’ve been careful to keep her pretty and perfect, just in case an unexpected chance with a royal family ever came up, even though she’s been doubly in exile for most of her teenage years. They put countless hours (approximately 20,344 hours, Evie’s brain supplies unhelpfully) into keeping her looking beautiful. More than that, if she counts the time spent brewing potions and sewing pretty dresses and educating herself in speech and literature and music and scheming, all so she could play the part of an Auradon Princess and eventually secure them a future off the isle they’d been cursed to live on.

So much time spent on Evie meant that there was less time left for Grimhilde, and instead of maintaining two heads of thick, wavy blue hair on a desolate island with limited hair products, her mother tied all of hers back under a thick, fashionable hood, and never let her daughter catch a glimpse of it aside from the very end of her braid when she pulled it out to trim.

Based on the glimpses, Evie would have sworn that her mother had darker hair than Evie herself does, closer to black than blue. It’s fascinating and nauseating all at the same time to think that maybe Evie looks like her, under the makeup and the spells and the enchantments designed to work without true magic, to keep her ageless and unwrinkled and beautiful despite the passage of time over the island.

Evie loves her mother.

Except for when she hates her, but that’s the nature of family, or so she’s been told.

She doesn’t—

It’s hard to know what family is supposed to be like when her only examples to follow are her mother, and the women in front of her.

“Thank you,” Evie says, and does not let her voice waver. “I’ve been told—well, I haven’t exactly been told that I look like her, but that’s because there’s not exactly a lot of people on the island who know what she used to look like.”

Snow White smiles, and her lips are as red as cherries, and her teeth are as white as snow, and her hair, when she brushes a loose strand back, is as dark and velvety as the night sky. “I don’t know either. She wasn’t very sentimental, I’m afraid. I spent most of my own childhood steering clear of her schemes to marry me off to the most advantageous bachelor. It didn’t leave me much time for staring at photographs of a stepmother that I begged my father not to marry. I assume you did much the same?”

Evie’s mother loves her.

“Not exactly.” Evie says, around lips that feel strange and numb. “She loved me.”

Evie’s mother loved her, and so she spent hours upon countless hours shaping her daughter into someone who could be loved in return. Someone who could be a mirror and reflect that love back on a man who could save them.

Evie also, critically, didn’t have anywhere to go outside of the castle that they shared. So there’s that. She couldn’t have steered clear, even if she’d wanted to.

“I’m surprised to hear that,” Snow says softly. “She was always such a strong personality. I didn’t think she’d be able to love a child the way she loved herself, but I suppose it’s different when it’s your own child.”

“I suppose so.” Evie agrees, because that’s one of the lessons her mother ingrained in her bones. Be polite, be proper, and don’t disagree with the adults, even if they’re wrong.

“Not that it’s your fault, of course. It’s not your fault that she loved you,” Snow says. It’s never Evie’s fault, because Evie is wicked and unlovable and only a villain like her mother could ever manage to care for her.

“It’s just, I’m surprised,” Evie’s stepsister continues. She’s watching Evie’s face and it’s too much, except for how there’s no other choice. There’s nothing to do but endure the endless beautiful stare of her stepsister’s shiny, beautiful eyes. “I didn’t think she was capable of love, not after what she did to me. I’m glad that she was able to care for you, after everything.”

Evie’s mouth is dry.

She’s been trained in speech since she was a child, the delusions of a mother convinced that her daughter would one day need to address a crowd of adoring subjects. She’s on the debate team now, and even when her arguments are weak, she can deliver them with such elegant phrasing that she sometimes wins anyway.

She has seen more blood than this woman in front of her will ever see, and she has survived her mother for sixteen years, and come out the other side alive.

She will not cower.

“Mother loved me.” Evie says, slowly. Slow and steady. Flawless Auradon diction, which she can emulate perfectly thanks to years of lessons under her mother’s less-than-gentle hand, instead of the muddier Isle accent that she hides. “I’m very sorry that she hurt you, but I am not her, and I’m not her to discuss her tonight. If she is all that you’re interested in talking about, it would be a better use of both of our time to attend dinner elsewhere. Separately.”

“Evie, no,” Snow begins, reaching out over the table. Her nails, Evie notices, are perfectly polished into natural almond shapes, and she’s wearing a slightly glossy peach polish. “No. I’m sorry. I want you to stay, really.”

Evie does not want to touch this woman’s hands.

“I should probably go home.” Evie demurs. “I have a lot of homework, and I really can’t afford to make a mistake on my next paper.”

“You could come home with me!” Snow offers, letting her hands sink back to the table. “I have a lovely library, and my husband, he’s a wonderful writer. He could help you with your assignment, and maybe somewhere more casual—“

Evie gives in to the urge to fix her hair, and brushes one of her trailing curls out of her face. “I don’t know what you want, but if it’s to hear about my mom, I can’t do that.”

“I want to meet you.” her stepsister lies. “The real you, not just the person you put on for the cameras. Please do stay. Come home with me.”

“I can’t,” Evie says, and it might be the most honest she’s been all night. “I really can’t.”

Snow White is lovely to a fault, and her dark eyes are shiny when she looks up at her stepsister. “You can.”

She can’t.

There’s too many memories that she’s not willing to touch here, in a nice restaurant with a sister she’s met one time. She’s got a paper to start working on when she gets home, and her schedule (written in blue ink on the first section of her daily planner, which is thick and smells only the faintest bit like mildew) only accounted for this dinner meeting taking two hours, and it’s at least thirty minutes back to Charmingdale, there and back again is more like an hour, and that’s if they spend no time eating, and while Evie could certainly afford to skip one meal, it’s not polite to say that in front of company who’s been so generous this far, and Snow didn’t just offer dinner, she offered help, which will only put her more behind schedule when she’ll have to redo the work later.

“I’m so sorry,” Evie says calmly, placing her hands back on her lap, away from her face and her hair and everything she’s inching to check. A princess doesn’t adjust her hair in polite company, and she might be a disgraced daughter of a queen-in-exile here in Auradon, but back home Evie was a princess, and she’s going to act as such. “I really do have a lot of homework tonight. It’s a very kind offer to bring me back to your castle, but if we’re not going to eat here I need to get back to school.”

#my fic #descendants #descendants fic #evie grimhilde

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minheelovelee · 9 months ago

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been lingering in tumblr for epex content and so glad to find you<3 thank you for writing!

was wondering what would epex be as hogwarts students and their houses 🐣

thank you for requesting, sweetheart!!! i haven't been consistent with my posting, but i'm hoping to push out a lot of content this summer. yay!!! feeding the small community of epex ff readers heheh.

epex and their hogwarts houses

my first post in 300 years im so sorry <3

Gryffindor

amin: lonely, lovely minwoo has no other gryffindor friends :( kidding. he's kind of a social butterfly. he is so popular among the other 5th year students. even some 7th year girls have taken notice of him. everyone in his family has belonged to house gryffindor, he was so proud to follow that legacy. he is so interested in muggles! he spends his afternoons leading the muggle arts club and telling donghyun what to do. he's taken quite a liking to the hufflepuff and they're rarely seen without each other these days! bonus: his patronus is a sparrow.

Slytherin

wish: dawit is a natural born leader. he followed the path of his parents, earning a spot in house slytherin. he had an ongoing public rivalry with his older sister in house hufflepuff. after she graduated, he was left to find an identity not related to his family. he earned a spot on the quidditch team and made quite a name for himself. now that he's a 7th year, he's a bit upset to be inevitably leaving his team. bonus: his patronus is an aardvark. he was irate when he discovered this.

mu: this friend was not expecting to find himself dressed in green. he always thought yellow was more of his color. for 3 years, kyungmin questioned how this could possibly be his house placement. during 3rd year, he was able to connect with professors and share his doubts. they taught him what it meant to belong to house slytherin. now in his 5th year at hogwarts, kyungmin couldn't be happier with his situation. dawit is his bestie and they love going to hogsmeade together! bonus: his patronus is a basset hound.

baekseung: there isn't a more slytherin-y slitherin to exist. 4th year hyunwoo prefers to keep to himself. when he is seen with someone, it's usually jeff, dawit, yewang, or minwoo. keeping his circle small is hard work. everyone he comes across wants to be his friend. he has spent the past 3 years creating his cool reputation. everyone is eager to see who he will take to the dance next semester. bonus: his patronus is a beagle. he tells everyone he hates it but he love love loves it.

jeff: every short girl has to have a tall best friend. that's what hyunwoo is to jaeho. these two 4th year kids complement each other so well. this term is jaeho's sister's first year at hogwarts. he's spent countless hours making sure his little sister meets the right people, goes to the right places, and has what she needs. such a good big brother :). jaeho got the opportunity to join the frog choir this year. he LOVES it. he also loves getting to taunt hyunwoo with frogs. bonus: his patronus is a manx cat.

Hufflepuff

keum: you definitely have a mutual friend with donghyun. he is such a social butterfly. he's friends with all of the other hufflepuffs and friendly enough with kids in other houses. his time in house hufflepuff didn't start out so smoothly. everyone in donghyun's family has been sorted into house gryffindor. at first, he was resentful for being a hufflepuff. over time, he was able to create his own meaning for being sorted into houses. now a 6th year, donghyun is super happy to be where he is. he has lots of friends in gryffindor, like minwoo! he even joined his muggle arts club as the secretary. bonus: his patronus is a tigress.

Ravenclaw

ayden: 4th year's class clown. yejun always has something smart to say, and people love him for it. he and yewang are constantly playing pranks. older ravenclaw students are constantly scolding them. they're always surprised to see the frog in their slipper the next morning. he's on the quidditch team with some of the other boys. it's helped him stay out of trouble this year. yejun is the kid who you always run into in the halls. it's like he's in two places at once. this year, his sister has started to crack down on his antics. she's graduating this year and is worried what yejun will act like when she's gone. yejun wants to set her up with dawit to get her off his back. bonus: his patronus is a hedgehog.

yewang: 4th year's second class clown. he and yejun are two peas from the same pod. they share their love for mischief, flying, and attention. yewang and yejun's dynamic has changed a bit their term. the girls are starting to take notice to yewang. when did he get to be so tall? you can typically find him in the library with a different girl looking for his attention each week. his parents have started to take notice of his report cards. they're looking for higher marks at the end of the semester. yewang has struggled to balance relationships, studying, sports, and fun. it's hard being 15. bonus: his patronus is an eagle.

#mhll epex #epex imagines #mhll keum #mhll wish #mhll mu #mhll amin #mhll ayden #mhll baekseung #mhll yewang #mhll jeff

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mynameiskan · 21 days ago

Text

Morning snuggles became something more.

That gentle little knock at my bedroom door always made me smile. I watched the handle turn, and then waited for Kan to poke her head through.

It was a pretty regular occurrence whenever she spent the night over at our place. As much as I love my little sister anastasia, she wasn’t a morning person, and her bubbly best friend would often leave her alone in her room to sleep in for a couple of hours while she hung out with me instead.

Kan had always had a crush on me, following me around like a lost puppy at every opportunity. At first i was pissed by the attention….. or should i say over attention? And as she had blossomed through her teens, I have to admit, more than just my ego became aroused.

“Morning ”she breathed. Her mop of brown color hair splashed around her face, framing that adorable, hopeful smile. “Can I come in for a….. snuggle?…. please yasu? ” And here we go with that bloody nick name. As much as i hate to admit it but seems like I’d started to love this sound nowadays. I groans inwardly ‘How the hell this girl made her way to your heart ieyasu before even you know this?’

“Of course you can, Sweetie ” I gives that usual smile of mine, leaning up on one elbow.Her smile beamed brighter, if that was possible. She slipped through the door, closing it gently behind her, and coming fully into view. She wore a tight, yellow t-shirt and a loose red short pj pant. But my eyes catch something else……. that locket. A star shaped locket with a little girl and boy holding their hand together inside. I had bought that locket for her about five years earlier, when we had visited Movie World on a joint family holiday to the Gold Coast. and now it had been to wear in the regular rotation.

‘And my god, it did a fantastic job. it looks super cute…… wait did i actually said the word ‘cute’ ? ’ I smiled bitterly at my ownself. ’ you’re becoming weak ieyasu……. but… that night anastasia said it’s not a bad thing to feel like this for someone? didn’t she? ’

Anastasia is my younger sister. We are same in everything. We don’t trust people easily but once we start to trust someone we give our all to them. And since kan is my sister’ s bff i just knew it from the very beginning this girl is something else. After all she’s the only one my sister can trust as her friend?

oh did i mention about kan? kan is bubbly girl. Always smiling, doing stupid things, caring for every damn single person that passes by her. I have to admit at first her behavior was really annoying, i mean how could someone be always so happy and caring. But one day i learned about her, saw how she hide all that pain behind that cubby smile of her. Another one, just like Anastasia and me another… victim. It made me curious to get close to her, know more about her……'well ieyasu tokugawa now you’re trapped’. Every day i curse myself hundreds time why…. why all of everyone i have to fall for this dummy? annoying creature? Anastasia just laughed and pats me on my back when i asked her what’s these feelings are! Damn that little.

“um yasu? ” Her soft voice broke my thoughts. i looked down,

Past her belly button, red pj pant hugged the beautiful curve of her hips, and dipped down sweetly between her slender legs. I kept my eyes moving down though, so as to not let her catch me staring.

“Yes? ” I smiled.

“I’m a little cold,” she pouted.

I smirked to myself, noticing that her nipples confirmed her story, as Kan padded across the carpet towards me. I lifted up the blanket for her as she arrived at the side of the bed, and she slipped effortlessly under the covers. I loved that contented little sound she made when she was safely tucked in. Every time.

“Hey,” she whispered, her big eyes twinkling.

“Hey,” I breathed back.

Then she rolled over on top of me, as she always did, wriggling into position for the best cuddle. She inevitably made a mess of it, with countless adjustments, as she squirmed and grunted, until she was comfortable.

“Morning, Yasu ” she finally announced.

“I already heard that ” I said trying to hide that smile that tugged in my lips. “You all set there?” i asked her trying to busy my mind. Kan slithered on top of me to check. Her torso rolled one way with a twist of her shoulders, while her hips rolled the other. I could feel the softness of her breasts mashing against my chest, and the pressure of her pubic bone grinding against my hips as she swivelled back and forth.

“That’ll do for now,” she declared, still swaying ever so slightly.

She planted a soft kiss on my cheek ‘Damn you’ i thought. She made another of her little noises, and then burrowed her head in next to mine. It always went like that, often with a pouty demand that I hold her tighter. That morning was no exception.

I found it hard not to lose myself, holding her tightly to me. I had one arm wrapped around the small of her back, trying to imprint the warmth of her smooth skin in my permanent memory. My other arm was higher, the crook of my elbow hooked in under her rib cage, and my hand pressed firmly into the taught muscles between her shoulder blades. Then I loosened my grip slightly to let my hands wander. My other hand caressed down to her side, savoring her curves as they flared into her hips.

“Hold me tighter, Yasu.” She then began another series of wiggles, which drove me crazy.

“….. yeah why NoT” I said popping the last letter, pressing my hands more firmly into the soft flesh near her hip.

“Tighter,” she moaned.

As I locked my arms around her, my left hand slid up under her shirt to the opposite side of her ribs. And my right slid across the waistband of her pj, before locking my fingertips around her hip.

“That’s better.” She craned her head up and smiled at me. “That feels really nice.” kan’s eyes welled slightly in response to my agreement, and she lowered her face and playfully rubbed her nose against mine. "suck a shameless creature! aren’t we? “ i throw my usual bad comments at her but just like always she shrugged them away. 'huh ieyasu let me remind you, your venom words never work on her’ sighing at my own thoughts i almost inwardly kick myself on the butt, hold your rein boy hold your rein.

More wiggling, smiles accompanied our early morning conversation about nothing in particular. It was our regular routine whenever she abandoned my sister to several more hours of sullen teenage slumber on a Sunday morning. And I…….. loved it?well yeah you heard me right! i, ieyasu tokugawa love every damn things this annoying creature does. no matter what’s this!

Something else that was becoming all too common was the arrival of her giggle.

“What?” I already knew, of course, but I loved to hear her say it.

She stared into my eyes, her own sparkling with triumphant discovery, “You have a boner, yasu.”

“I know. I’m s-sorry.” While my apology was feigned, i couldn’t help that smirk that made it’s way to my lips.

“It’s okay, yasu” she smiled, continuing on with her story. She’d heard my explanation of it having a mind of its own also morning air, a number of times before, and she happily accepted it.

One story led into another, and as her excitement over one particular description rose, her animated movement on top of me increased. The pressure of her soft stomach and pubic bone, as it ground into my aching cock, was an absolute distraction. When I did manage to concentrate, I found my hands all over kan’s hips and the small of her back, flirting dangerously with the waistband of her pants.

I couldn’t fucking take it anymore.

“What are you doing there, little wiggly worm?” I began to tickle her, digging my fingers into her ribs, in a hopeless attempt to relieve my tension.

Kan began to squeal, and tried desperately to tickle me back. But as she writhed around on top of me in fits of laughter, I was just getting more and more aroused.

“Hey, little squirmy squid.” More tickles and more laughter. “Little bumpy dummy bunny ” I went on.

The wrestling tickle fight continued, and Kan slid down my body to evade a set of my busy fingers. As she climbed back up towards the head of the bed, her breasts pressed heavily into my raging cock. She kept sliding up, rubbing against the erection in my boxers as she went.

I caught her hands as they lunged for my underarms. “I got you, my sexy, little wench”

Kan froze.

I have to admit, I held my own breath as I realised what I’d said.

Kan was my little sister’s best friend. Sweet, innocent. After i became acknowledged about her past, family I had always looked out for her. and she’d always looked up to me in kind. The last think I wanted was for her to feel uncomfortable around me. And i swore, i could already imagine my little sister running after me with a gun in her hand.

With my hard cock pressed into her soft belly, Kan’s eyes were saucers as she glared into my own terrified eyes.

The silence was excruciating.

I couldn’t hold my breath any longer. “I…um…I’m sorry, Kan. I didn’t mean…” a slight blush made it’s way over my cheeks.

“You think I’m sexy,” she whispered, her breath shaking. I wasn’t sure if it was a question or not. Either way, I couldn’t answer.

My heartbeat thundered in my ears. My whole face was burning. The weight of her on top of me was crippling. And the only sound I could hear was kan’s shaky breath.

And my cock pressing against her pelvis just ached to make love to her.

“Are you horny because of……. me yasu?”

I opened my mouth, but I couldn’t make any sound come out. The thought that she would be threatened by me and the realisation that kan would probably never snuggles into my bed again was breaking my heart. We had enjoyed such a close, affectionate relationship for as long as I could remember. I’d been so careful to make sure she always felt safe with me. But with the knowledge I was mentally and…. physically attracted to her, I feared she would surely pull away.

“It’s okay, yasu ” she whispered enough for me to hear. “You make me really feel like this too….. all horny, needy….wet”

My entire body flushed with an intense warmth. It was the same feeling I had when I saw my first porno. The same feeling the first time a girl invited me up to her dorm room at university. The ultimate sexual discovery.

Kan bit her bottom lip, as she stared into my eyes. I was conscious of her breath becoming heavier. I reached up and brushed the loose strands of hair behind her ear. I smiled as gently as I could, “I love you, kan” i don’t know if it was the heat of the moment or what the fuck you can call it? i just couldn’t help myself anymore. i Wanted her from a very long time. But i felt so light after confessing my feelings. Kan let her bottom lip go and smiled. As she leaned down to kiss me, she closed her eyes slowly. Our lips met tenderly, then softly pressed together until my top lip and her bottom forced our mouths open. We both sucked gently at each other’s lips as she pulled back slightly. Without breaking contact, Kan pressed her lips back against mine to repeat the kiss again. And again. She pulled away and I opened my eyes. It took me a second to focus through the tears that welled. Her face was light; her eyes, blazing; and her smile, radiant. She bit her bottom lip again briefly. “I love you so much, Ieyasu” she said while calling me by my proper name.

In a blinked of eyes we were kissing again, just as we had before, suckling on each others lips and losing ourselves in the taste. I caressed the smooth skin under her shirt, feeling every delicate contour of her back. Her fingers running through my hair sent little, electric chills through my body, which contrasted so perfectly with the warm crush of kan’s groin grinding against my cock.

I wanted so desperately to get my hands into her soft, shoulder-length hair.

Kan moaned gently into my mouth as we kissed. It sounded so wonderful against the wet, slurping noise of our lips. She was having trouble swallowing her saliva, and our kissing became so delightfully wet as I gulped her down.

I was the first to flick my tongue along her lip as I sucked it into my mouth. It elicited a moan and half a giggle from kan. Then she started licking my lips, before pulling away to catch her breath.

“Are you all right?” I got my hand out from the back of her T-shirt and stroked her face.

“Uh-huh,” she half moaned, half breathed. With my hands on either side of her face, I pulled her back down to me and we started kissing more passionately. I lost all sense of time as I kissed her. The only thing I knew for sure was that we were both getting carried away. Our breathing was heavier, and Kan’s whimpering moans were becoming more intense. I kissed her along her cheek and jawline to her ear, and then sucked her earlobe into my mouth. I told her again how much I loved her and how special she was in desperate whispers. She pulled away and sat up on me, her pant-clad pussy grinding against my cock. Her arms crossed over her stomach, and then she pulled them up above her head, peeling the white t-shirt up with them, then throwing that poor thing onto the floor. I was in awe, gazing up at her perfect breasts. They were spectacularly round, somehow defying gravity. Her delicious little nipples stood proudly at attention at the centre of her dark pink areolas.

“You like them, yasu?” she pleaded, desperately seeking my reassurance. I sat up, reaching out and groaning like a zombie, incapable of coherent speech. Kan giggled as I cupped her breasts, seemingly moulded for my hands. I squeezed the soft flesh, and rubbed my thumbs across her nipples. She clumsily held my head to her chest, but I was stranded between her nubile breasts, unable to get my mouth around either of her taunting nipples. I looked up, begging her to grant me access. Another giggle, and a long, moaning kiss, and she rolled off me, laying back on the bed. Her brown curls fanned out on the pillow as she looked up at me, smiling. Kan rubbed her palms back and forth on the outside of her breasts, causing the soft globes to jiggle hypnotically. She seductively rubbed one leg against the other, bending her knee and accentuating the curve of her hip. I threw the covers off the bed and crawled over her. Straddling her thighs and holding my weight off her body, I kissed her deeply.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” I panted.

“Yeah, I am. I really want this, yasu” she replied, her breath shaking.

My hands led the way as I kissed down her body from her mouth. Her skin was so smooth and tight. And her smell was so incredibly intoxicating. It was the perfect blend of the fresh, earthiness of her skin, and the remnants of yesterday’s perfume. The terrain softened magically as I kissed my way up the top of her right breast. I wanted to take my time, and tease her delicately, but I just couldn’t help myself. When I arrived at the summit, I greedily sucked her proud nipple into my mouth. I pulled back, sucking at her nipple as I went, before gorging myself on her soft flesh again and again. Her whimpering moans, twitches and fingers roughly brushing through my hair spurred me on. I kissed across her chest to her other neglected prize, and repeated my feast.This time, however, I managed to regain some composure. I circled my tongue around her arosal, spining in towards the centre. I suckled gently at her nipple, before tenderly holding it between my teeth. I nibbled at her, causing her to take in sharp breaths every time I bit down. Then, clamped tightly, I flicked the end of her nipple quickly with the tip of my tongue.

“Oh, Yasu, yes,” she moaned.

I don’t know how much more time I spent worshiping at Kan’s heavenly breasts, but my wrists were in agony from holding myself above her. Her legs were still together, infuriatingly sliding against each other. I lay down beside her, pressing my side to her warm, slender limb, taking the weight off my arms. From cupping her breasts, I trailed my fingertips down her stomach, doing slow, gentle laps of her navel, until my kisses caught up. As I caressed her, my hands felt the taut muscles beneath her skin. But as my kisses followed, my lips and tongue only found the softest pale flesh. I got another giggle out of Kan by dipping my tongue into her belly button. I loved the sound of her laugh, especially when it was me causing it. Then, as I planted a soft kiss just below her navel, I blew a giant raspberry on her stomach.

We both burst out laughing. It was a great way to relieve the rising tension of my journey. But I quickly resumed my trail of slow, tender kisses before the mood, and quite frankly, my nerve, was lost. That short red pj pants were my next destination, and my kisses galloped across the finish line of her waistband until I was pressing my lips into her gorgeous mound. I could feel her spongy pubic hair beneath the thin pj 'damn she’s not wearing any underwear’. I inhaled her scent deeply as I went, clawing feverishly at her rounded hips.“You naughty minx, did not wear any underwear… hmm? ”

Still, Kan kept her legs together and gave me that shy smile of her. I sat back on my knees and looked into her eyes. . She smiled at me, nibbling on her index finger and cupping her own breast with her other hand. The image of Kan laying there on my bed was so incredibly erotic. Her creamy skin contrasted so beautifully with the coffee colored sheets in the muted light spilling through the drawn blinds of my bedroom.

I reached down and hooked my fingertips into the fragile waistband at her hips. Her supple skin trembled beneath with my touch. And I paused. I gazed into her eyes once more, desperately seeking her reassurance. Kan nodded, still suckling at her finger. Her smile was replaced with sensual anticipation, and there was nothing stopping me now. I pulled at that garment, that did so much with so very little. The elastic stretched around the curve of her hips, snagging on the friction of her ass against the sheets. Then the muscles in her stomach and thighs tightened as she arched her pelvis up towards me, allowing me to pull her pj pants down over her ass. The red triangle in front of me slowly collapsed, revealing the dark curls of her neatly trimmed bush. More and more of Kan’s cute little landing strip appeared from behind her retreating short pj pant. My adoration was indescribable. My eyes welled. My face flushed. My breathing all but stopped. I felt dizzy. My hands continued to drag her pants down her thighs, almost on their own. And I kept logging every tactile sensation of her beautifully smooth skin as I went. Kan lifted her knees up together to help me remove her pants. Finally, after a brief caress of her soft calves, I had her pants in my hands. I sniffed at the soaked fabric in the crotch, inhaling the sweet muskiness like my life depended on it. Then I tossed her pants onto my pillow, beside Kan’s giggling face 'annoying creature’ . I placed my hands on Kan’s knees, still raised and together, obscuring my view of her most precious gift. Then slowly, with as much restraint and tenderness as I could muster, I parted her thighs.

'Oh my god!’ I gasped.

Her parting thighs revealed the prettiest pink pussy I’ve ever seen. Her gorgeous labia was in full bloom, the lips glistening with her excitement.

I melted to the sheets, burying my face between her legs and feverishly lapping at her sopping cunt. I was a man possessed, hungrily sucking at her engorged lips and messily eating her with lusty abandon. With my eyes closed and able to hear nothing but my own wild slurping, I was only conscious of the feeling of her wet folds against my lips and tongue. I kept my tongue slid up and down inside of her savoring her taste. Her flesh so soft i bit on her inner lips gently tugging it with my teeth Kan’s gasped. I spread her lips with my fingers and thrusts my tongue inside of her, swirling, curling and then started thrusting inside of her. The taste and smell was somehow imperceptible, but at the same time, so incredibly intoxicating.

Seconds later, Kan’s fingers slipped down over her pussy in front of my face, and I was jolted from my trance. I looked up, past her heaving body.

“Oh, Yasu,” she panted uncontrollably. “I’m sorry. I can’t. It’s too sensitive.”

“Really? I only just got started,” I pleaded.

“Huh?” Kan’s eyes were wide, “Ieyasu, you’ve been eating me for over half an hour.”

I couldn’t believe it. Kan thought it was hilarious, even holding up the alarm clock on my bedside table to show me how long I’d been licking her delicious pussy. I’d completely lost myself in her sex. Although my feeble brain had cruelly denied me the pleasurable memory of eating her cunt, Kan had held up three fingers, with her thumb holding her pinkie across her palm and mouthed 'Incredible’ in response to me asking her if how’d she felt. I felt proud that i made her cum not once my three times. She bit her bottom lip again and reached for me between her legs. With her hands on the sides of my face, she pulled me up to her own and kissed me passionately.

“Make l-love to me Ieyasu. I want to feel you inside me.”

I kissed her deeply again and clumsily thrust my cock at her pussy. “Oh Yasu. You need to take these off first,” she giggled, pulling at my boxer shorts . I’d already took off of my t-shirt and pants in between our sweet time. now it’s the only damn barrier between us. Stranded above her, between her nubile thighs, I looked down to see my cock tenting my maroon boxer, with a slimy patch of pre-cum at the apex. I frantically wrenched them off, my rigid member flicking around wildly as I kicked the damn things off my legs.

I felt the head of my cock brush her furry landing strip as I settled back on top of Kan, resting on my elbows. She ran her fingers through my hair and stared into my eyes , as she again pleaded with me to make love to her. I was used to women guiding me into their pussies when we had sex, but Kan kept both her hands in my hair. I was going to have to do this one myself. I actually had a brief moment of panic that I might not know where to put it.

I reached down and grabbed my cock. Never in my life could I remember it being so hard. I rubbed the head against her sodden cunt, running it up and down her slit. At the bottom of the down stroke, my mushroom head seemed to settle naturally at her opening, and Kan’s wanton expression told me I was in the right spot. "Kan, are you sure you…” i asked for the last time.

“Oh, fuck me, Ieyasu” she breathed. I released my weight and let gravity drive my cock ever so slowly into Kan’s hungry cunt. Despite the flood of pussy juice between her legs, she was so unbelievably tight. It felt like I only got the head in, before I came grinding to a halt. Kan’s breath was ragged, but she kept urging me on. Her hands slid down my body and clutched desperately at my hips. I drove into her, feeling her hot, slippery lips engulfing slightly more of my cock. Her face contorted in pain, and I stopped, leaving myself only half way inside my beautiful…….lover. “Are you okay?” i asked my voice full of concern

“Uh-huh,” she panted. “You’re just so big. Just take it slow?” Her tiny hands pressed against my stomach. I kissed her gently, and waited an agonizing few seconds for her to relax before easing another inch into her. Again she winced, and again I waited for her to catch her breath before burying my cock even deeper. I felt my balls rest against her fantastic ass when I finally bottomed out inside her. And purely driven by instinct, I burrowed my cock even deeper in one last desperate, grinding thrust. Kan grunted beneath me, her arms wrapped around my back and her legs wrapped around my thighs. I kissed her slowly, passionately, and told her I loved her.

“I love you too, Ieyasu.” she said and I slid about half my length out of her tight pussy, hesitated a few moments, then eased myself slowly back in to the hilt. Kan winced as I drove back inside her, and took a few seconds to relax her face. Then I pulled out again. Her face was flushed, and tensed in tight concentration as we made love, slowly and deliberately. “Take a deep breath in,” I urged as I pulled my cock three quarters the way out. She did, her stomach and soft breasts pressing against me as she complied. “Now breathe out slowly,” I sighed as I pushed back inside her, “Just let all the tension flow out.” Kan moaned in pure ecstasy as I thrust deeply into her core. “Oh, wow,” she giggled, “That felt so good.” She said and i gave her a fake annoying look “Shameless, aren’t we?”

We did it again, and again. Kan breathing in deeply as I withdrew, then slowly exhaling as I drove home. The pain was gone, replaced by pleasure as I sawed in and out of her. “Oh my God! Yasu, I’m going to come!” Kan clenched me tightly, locking her arms and legs around me. Then in an instant, she arched her back, thrusting her body into mine as I pumped into her. “Oh, Yasu,” she moaned when her spasms subsided, “Make love to me. I want you so bad.” I pumped my cock into her with deep groan, Kan rolling her pelvis in time to meet every thrust. I was in heaven. The warm, soft wetness of her body…the ecstasy of her breathless moans… I looked into her eyes and kissed her deeply when I could marshal my concentration enough. But mostly, I just gripped her tightly and held the side of my face to her cheek. The sensation of my cock sheathed in her glorious pussy was overwhelming. The sheets bunched at my knees and elbows, soaked through with our sweat. I actually couldn’t tell the difference between my desperate panting and hers. We shared a giggly smile as I mopped her wet hair from her forehead. Kan puffed into my face, her warm breath still fresh with the scent of toothpaste.

“Oh, Yasu. I’m going to come again!” Her lithe body clenched uncontrollably against mine as Kan’s orgasm rocked her. The feeling of her sopping pussy clamped around my prick set me off on my own euphoric journey. Kan bucked her hips up at me as I increased my tempo. The all-consuming tingle swelled inside me, growing dangerously out of control. “Oh my God, yasu. Are you going to come?” she groaned. I could only grunt a nod in reply, my mouth hanging limply open as the power of my orgasm exploded throughout my body. With a last deep thrust the hot flush filled my entire being in a split second. Then the pressure wave concentrated itself in an unimaginable torrent, foccusing all its energy into my balls.

I felt every drop of semen rush up the length of my cock, then erupt out of my swollen glands in a hyper-sensitive explosion. I grabbed Kan as tightly as I could, thrusting as deeply as possible into her gorgeous pussy. And then I roared with pleasure, grunting like an animal with every spurt after blissful spurt of cum flooding out into her horny cunt. I had never come like that in my life. Kan threw her head back and wailed as I came deep inside her. She held my head tightly to her chest, and her hips twitched. I kept pumping my cock into her as much as I could, but I was capable of little more than spasmodic grinding. Eventually, the sensitivity in my cock rendered me paralized, and I just couldn’t move anymore.

We lay there for I don’t know how long. I was spent. My face slid around on her sweat slicked chest, shoulder and neck. I could feel her wet inner thighs sliding against my hips. “Are you all right, Kan?” I whispered finally. Kan lifted my head in her hands, gave me the most loving look I’ve ever seen, and kissed me by way of agreement. I kept kissing her gently, until eventually I felt my cock softening inside her. I looked into her eyes and told how much i have fallen in love with her again. Then, with all the will power, strength and discipline I could muster, I pulled myself out of her soaked cunt. As I rolled off her to the left, onto the dry side of the bed, I got a glimpse at the sheets between her still parted thighs. At the bottom of her ass, amongst the darker shade of coffee caused by our combined sweat, lay a smeared blood stain about the size of my palm. “Oh SHIT” I gasped, my skin prickling. The realisation that I’d torn Kan’s hymen shook me to my very soul. I hadn’t even felt it. I had taken her virginity. Kan looked at the sheets between her legs, then bit her bottom lip as she looked up at me. “I’m so sorry, Kan. I didn’t realise you were…”

“Oh, no Ieyasu,” she reassured me, placing her hand on my cheek. “It’s exactly what I wanted. That was so lovely.” I pulled her to me, pressing her slippery body to mine. “Oh, Kan, I wish I’d known.”

“Why?” she smiled.

“I would have made it special for you.”

“Oh, it was special. That was the most beautiful thing,” she hummed. “it was just what I wanted. The most special guy in my life just loving me. Don’t you think?” I caressed her side, tracing my hand over the luscious curve of her hip, of course agreeing with her. I was so honored that she chose to share herself with someone like me. I loved her so much. “you really are a Shameless, no doubt in it but i love you, damn what have you done to my mind and heart kan? ” I chuckled bitterly. Kan rubbed her feet together, pouting that it was cold. I swept up the blanket from the floor and covered us both up with it. We snuggled into each other, enjoying the warmth of the afterglow. The warm wetness between her legs pressed against my thigh as we held each other. “Besides, what would you have done differently?” she teased.

“I don’t know,” I furrowed my brow. “I would have got some candles and shit. may be booking a fancy five star hotel room? ” Kan laughed, gazing lovingly at me. “I wanted YOU Ieyasu. Not a show. Besides,” she grinned mischievously, reaching down and squeezing my ass, “you can get those next time.” and winked at me.

#slbp #slbp ieyasu #i was gonna keep it in my ask #but this is so good that i wanna share it with everyone #i hope slbp fangirls will give Anastasia a lot of love #she is an amazing writer

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alrissamariam · 6 months ago

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Constructions of a Family Line

If I had a choice to construct my own family line, I would choose only my siblings without a second thought.

Growing up was never easy. How do I answer when somebody asks me what my childhood was like?

No, I would not tell them that it was wonderful, therefore I will always choose my parents.

Am I supposed to tell them about the time my mother left the four of us in the house overnight to fend for ourselves when I was six while she went to an exclusive party?

Am I supposed to tell them about the time my parents were arguing at the dinner table after my father came over for my birthday, and when I told them to please stop fighting, my mother’s immediate answer was shut up?

Am I supposed to tell them about the countless times my mother would cook food less than enough for the four of us, but take half of it to give to a man that was barely there, leaving us to split an already half portioned food into four?

Am I supposed to tell them about the time I had to watch my mother terrorised my brother and wound him so badly, he thought it was better to hurt himself?

Am I supposed to tell them about the time my mother got angry that I didn’t dress a certain way and yelled at me, accusing me and faulting me as she pointed her finger in my tear-stained face with the words this is all your fault, you love to watch this family fall apart, don’t you?

Am I supposed to tell them about all the times my mother has made fun of my face, hair, skin, weight, appearance, and how it instilled my bad eating habits that led to me eventually falling sick?

Or am I supposed to tell them about the time my mother made us believe my father was the monster the entire time, only for her to be the enemy hiding behind a wall of lies and money?

I don’t think that’s the childhood I want to talk about.

I want to tell them about the time my sister rescued me from school at seven in the evening as the skies were turning dark and the rain was about to pour because mother had an alumni dinner and forgot me.

I want to tell them about the times my sister would ask if I had eaten before she proceeded to cook for us anyway.

I want to tell them about the time my brother protected me in front of the entire school when the boy I made friends with threatened to hit me like my father did.

I want to tell them about the times my siblings came to pick me up, called and offered food, saved the last piece of kuih lapis because I got home late from work, left the food on the table to wait for me so we could all eat together.

I want to tell them about the time we all huddled in one room and slept together after the most frustrating, stressful and painful night we had to go through.

I want to tell them about the once-in-a-while fancy sibling dinners we go to every now and then, how we look out for one another when we’re out together.

I want to tell them about the nights we’d go out to eat by the roadside and how Myra would lean her chair down while driving, and how it would make Rifqi scream, and how Iqa would play the best songs for everyone.

I want to tell them about Nikk, our childhood friend, formerly neighbour at the age of four, who became a part of the siblings.

I want to tell them about the countless hours, days, weeks, months, years my siblings and I spent mending each other of the things parents should never do to their children.

I want to tell them how we overcame it, how we’re finally together again now after the torture and lashes. How we finally, finally have a safe space to call home.

Our home.

So, no. I wouldn’t choose my parents. I would choose my sister, Myra–the idiot who can’t contain her anger but loves her younger siblings like her own child in her own way.

I would choose my sister, Iqa–the blonde that gets on my nerves sometimes when it comes to explaining but loves her siblings like she’s a mother.

I would choose my brother, Rif–the smartass who can’t stop using big words but makes sure his sisters understand and are civil, always.

They kept me alive physically, and while mentally and emotionally I don’t feel them, their physical affection is enough to keep me afloat.

I would choose them, who taught me the cycle of hatred brought down by generations of fucked up individuals can, in fact, be broken–and now it has.

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lilacthebooklover · 8 months ago

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18, 20, 23, 24

holy smokesickes anon, you're really going for the kill, huh? /j

18: Most traumatic experience

hmm,, maybe just the entirety of year 9? i became the laughing stock of not only my class but my entire year, bullying was ramped up to an 11 and my only friends regularly hit me lol. i went into a bit of s slump, didn't talk to anyone. i was lowkey emo for a while (plus i was obsessed with the "help" animatic on youtube skfjdkjf). it was straight out of lockdown and i spent like every day not wanting to be in school even though i like learning. but! i got moved out of my sucky class into one with my friend (the one who did most of the hitting, but hey what can ya do) and after that year everyone matured a lot & people seem to like me now?? perks of being inoffensive and polite ig :]. i still have a few habits from back then, like closing off around people my age and resorting to stilted monotone answers, or feeling a little anxious when people other than my close family brush my hair, but i've gotten a lot better since then! it was less "traumatic" and moreso unpleasant, i have a tendency to overdramatise stuff :"). my life just hasn't been all that traumatising. i have a lovely family, a school piano, and most of my overachieving is solely my fault soooo,,,,,

20: What I hate most about myself

there are a couple of things. i don't like how oversensitive & clingy i can be, or how attention-seeking. i want to help people but sometimes that means i don't know when to back off a little. i wind people up when i'm bored to get a reaction. and i'm absolutely terrible at holding my ground around people my own age. i give people sheets of paper from my notebooks & let them borrow my highlighters, i'm nice to the people who used to make fun of me relentlessly, i'm not good at telling people to back off when i feel uncomfortable, i act like i'm superior just because adults tend to like me. it's not great skdjksjd

23: My relationship with my sibling(s)

i'd say it's really good!! my youngest sister trusts me a lot & i read to her regularly, i don't really get her miraculous gacha craze but she is so incredibly smart & i'm really proud of her. she's sweet when she wants to be and i love her to bits and a lot of the bumps in the road are things she'll grow out of when she's older :). there's also my other younger sister!!! we have spent our entire childhood together, and i wouldn't change a single thing about her. she's hilarious and creative and gifted and i have spent countless hours having fun with her. she can be a little closed-off at times and often considers me an embarrassment, but i love her an insane amount too!! and then there's the lovely jpr!! we've gotten really close over the past few years. she's actually the one who introduced me to ao3 while we were washing plates at a caravan site together! i owe a huge part of my life to her & it's been so awesome over the years having someone to write and chat with :)). we watch kids shows unironically and have a chronic au addiction. ily red <33 can't wait to do that omori cosplay at a theme park together next time u come over and try not to lose my wig on the rollercoasters <333

24: My relationship with my parent(s)

great!!! they both care about & support me a lot. they've always got good advice and want what's best for me. sometimes they can be a bit shouty and angry when in a bad mood & there is a lotttt of pressure on me to do well but it's all good! we have awesome family holidays together & i love them both a lot. my dad can be very silly, he likes star wars and terrible jokes and repetitive dj music and toblerone chocolate. and my mum is realllyyy organised, idk how she manages it! she likes cats and potato rosti and the colour blue and shania twain songs. they're the most hardworking & intelligent people i know <3

#ask game #this feels a tad personal lol #might take it down later :]

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pankowperfection · 2 years ago

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Hi! So i hope you‘re doing good and i would like to make a Request. So Reader is John Bs Small Sister And she‘s not really ,,Best Friends“ with Jj or the Pogues in general but still don‘t hate each other. Then she goes onto a Kook Party and suddenly Notices Jj in the Crowd. Of course she knows he‘s there because John B asked him to look after you. Jj basically watches the Boys trying to get you to sleep with them and being all flirty until Jj breaks the Situation. He takes her a few Meters away and they have that kind of Conversation. Like the: Why do you care you only do this for my Brother anyways. And then he kisses her and They end up going to the Chateau and sleep together. (John B is out with Sarah or smth). ,,We can‘t do this your John Bs Sister.“ stuff yk? Have a Great Night/day🫶🏻

Good Intentions

Summary: JJ keeps watch over you at a party, but decides he can't stay away anymore

Warnings: smut, mentions of drinking, mentions of drug use, oral (fem receiving), 18+

Being John B's younger sister meant inheriting the other pogues as family, regardless of whether you wanted them or not. They were basically siblings you'd never asked for, so while everyone was polite when you were all together, you weren't particularly close with any of them. Unfortunately, John B always dragged you out with them so you weren't just sitting at home alone and tonight that had meant going to a kook party on Figure 8, the very last place you wanted to be.

You had stressed about what to wear, in the end opting for a pair of ripped jeans and a lacy black tank top that showed a little bit of under boob. Strappy sandals on your feet you headed to the kitchen, finding JJ and John B gathering beer to take to the party. "Are you guys almost ready?" JJ turned around at the sound of your voice, looking you over head to toe. You missed the way his eyes darkened at the sight of your exposed breasts, how he swallowed thickly before looking away. "Yes y/n, chill. Just gathering supplies. Let's go." You follow the group outside, piling into the Twinkie and praying the night goes smoothly.

Of course as soon as you arrived at the party, everyone split off into different directions, leaving you alone. John B had gone to search for Sarah, Kie and Pope settling into a deep conversation about environmental changes needed to protect the beaches. JJ headed out to the back patio overlooking the beach, searching for a quiet spot to roll a joint. Wanting to look like you belonged you wandered into the kitchen, pouring yourself a drink into the red plastic cup before making your way back to the main part of the party. Unbeknownst to you, JJ had come back inside, positioning himself in the corner of the room to keep watch over you as John B had instructed.

He'd always been secretly attracted to you, never making a move because he didn't want to be the guy to go after his best friend's younger sister. He had spent many hours admiring you from a distance, wanting to be the one to make you laugh on a bad day. Countless nights he had laid wide awake in bed, wondering what it would be like to kiss you, to feel your bare skin beneath his fingers. How did you taste? What would it sound like for you to moan his name? The thought of anyone else touching you, getting to see you in that way, made JJ see red.

Over the next few hours, several guys approached you and tried to get you to dance. Each time you turned them away, getting more frustrated with each pursuit. The final straw was when none other than Rafe Cameron had stalked up silently behind you, placing his hands on your hips and pulling you back against him. You let out a gasp, spinning around in his arms quickly and attempting to shove him away. "Rafe, get off of me." He smirked down at you, leaning in closer. "Shh, relax sweetheart. I just want a quick taste. Let me show you a good time." Without further thought you threw your drink into his face, leaving him fuming before stalking off to grab another.

Suddenly you were pulled into the hallway, a familiar large frame caging you in against the wall. "JJ, what are you doing?" He sighs, letting his hand trail down your face before tucking your hair behind your ear. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Seems like you haven't had a moment of peace all night, all these dumb kooks treating you like a piece of meat." You look up into his blue eyes, something different in them that you haven't seen before that makes butterflies erupt in your stomach. "I'm fine J. Why do you care anyways? I know John B asked you to look out for me, but I can take care of myself." He smiles, dimples on display making your heart beat faster. "Oh I know, I saw that for myself. You look so hot, even hotter when you threw that drink in Cameron's face. Sexiest thing I've ever seen."

He leans closer, hands on either side of your face, close enough you can feel his breath on your lips. "JJ...." His lips are on yours in an instant, soft at first, savoring the feeling of your lips against his. When you let a moan slip and tangle your hands into his hair he loses all restraint, pressing his body into yours as his tongue plunges into your mouth. His hands are everywhere, caressing softly over your breasts and bringing your nipples to hard peaks before traveling further south, ghosting over the front of your jeans and making your panties soaked. You can feel his hard cock pressing into your core, grabbing onto his ass to pull him closer still causing him to groan into your mouth. You pull apart breathless, chests heaving and heat flooding through your system. "Take me home J, please." He nods, making some kind of excuse to John B about you not feeling well and letting him know he was taking you home.

The ride back to the Chateau is quiet, air thick with sexual tension. You barely make it over the threshold into the house before he is on you again, picking you up and carrying you to the spare bedroom he calls his own. He sits down on the bed with you straddling his lap, hands kneading the flesh of your ass as you grind down over his length. You pull his head back, exposing his neck as you kiss and suck over every inch of exposed skin. "Shit y/n. We shouldn't do this, your John B's sister." You push him down onto the bed, rocking over length again in slow, deliberate motions that cause him to moan again. "Tell me you want me to stop J and I will." You continue, friction of your jeans rubbing your clit perfectly as you start to pick up speed. "Fuck,” he groans, flipping you over quickly and trapping your hands over your head.

"You're sure this is what you want? Cause once I start, I won't be able to stop." He searches your face for any sign of discomfort, wanting to be certain that you really do want to cross this line. "I want you JJ. Please, please make me feel good." With that he helps you sit up, quickly discarding your shirt and taking in the sight of your naked breasts. "God, you're so perfect," he coos, leaning down to take your left nipple into his mouth. You weave your fingers into his hair, holding his face close as he lavishes your sensitive bud with his tongue. He kisses his way to your right breast, repeating the same actions as his hand pops the button on your jeans. He pulls the zipper down slowly, connecting his lips to your neck as his fingers dive under the material of your panties. When you feel the coolness of his ring touch your overheated skin you moan, hips bucking up into his touch. "Mmm JJ, feels so good." He takes his time, teasing two fingers up and down through your folds, lightly grazing your clit with each pass. "So wet for me sweetheart, bet you taste so good."

His hot, greedy mouth kisses down your body, pausing long enough to remove the rest of your clothes before settling between your thighs. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this." His breath tickles your pussy, eyes threatening to roll at what is about to happen. "J please, need you so bad." With that he dives in, devouring you with such ferocity you swear you might pass out from the overwhelming pleasure. Your nails rake into his scalp and he moans, vibrations making your thighs tremble. Two fingers tease around your entrance before he plunges them inside, curling them just right so his ring massages your walls. "Fuck J, don't stop." He increases his pace, fucking you with his fingers while his talented tongue worships your clit. "Come on sweetheart, cum for me." His soft command does you in, body trembling as you grind against his face while you ride out your orgasm.

The sight of your release shining on his chin as he comes up to kiss you makes you feral, pushing him onto his back again before hovering over his length. "Easy sweetheart," his abs tense beneath your touch, struggling to not show how excited he is at the thought of you riding him. "Is this okay? Can I ride you?" His eyes roll back at your words, moan leaving his plump lips that tells you all you need to know. You line him up before starting to slowly sink down, his thick length stretching you in a way no one has. "God, you're so big." You finally bottom out, taking a moment to breathe and adjust to how deep he is inside of you. "Y/n, fuck. Need you to move, squeezing me so fucking tight."

His hands grab your hips, guiding your motions as you start to bounce up and down on his length. His fingers dig into your hips, grip bruising but you just don't care. Suddenly he lands a soft smack to your ass making you gasp and clench around him. "Oh god," he groans, bucking up into you to meet your thrusts. Before you can realize what happened he has you on your back, legs over his shoulders as he plows back into you. You let out a whimper, nails digging into his back as he starts to thrust hard and fast.

"You feel so good, don't want to ever stop." He pins your hands over your head again, laying down on top of you and sucking bruises into your neck. The new angle feels amazing, each thrust stimulating your clit. "Yes J, just like that. I'm gonna cum again." He somehow speeds up, rocking into you faster. When he bites the sensitive spot on your neck your orgasm washes over, wave after wave of pleasure coursing through your veins as you moan out his name. "Shit princess, gonna fill you up." A few thrusts later he stills, warm release coating your walls as he comes to a halt.

Please let me know if you want to be added to my taglist

@adventuresinobx @starkeyobx @hoebx @ailee-celeste @pankhoeforlife @outerbankspov @houseofperfecttaste @drewbooooo @maybankslover @maybanks-luver @blueicequeen19 @toystory2wasjustokay @i-always-come-back-xoxo @onmykneesforrafe @penny4yourthoughts

#jj maybank smut #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank #jj x y/n #obx fanfiction #obx smut #obx imagine

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writingbymoonlight · 3 years ago

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keychains and plane tickets

ft.: timeskip oikawa x f!reader

a/n: this is for the amazingly talented @ufo-ikawa's milestone event, an inquiry into love (congrats to her btw!!!). i honestly spent a couple of weeks working on this and i did not intend for it to be this long. Whoops. Anyways, enjoy!

word count: ~5.5k words

Adulting can be hard.

Undoubtedly hard.

Stupidly, frustratingly hard.

Take for instance the situation with your car: You noticed something was a little off with it, so you took it to an auto repair shop. Turns out, it wasn’t a minor issue. It was a pretty major and costly issue. But it was an expense you needed to pay for because your car is a necessity. You needed it to go to work, to do errands, etc. So, the problem you ran into with your car ultimately meant that you wouldn’t be able to purchase the plane tickets you intended to get in order to visit your close friend, Oikawa Tooru, in Argentina next month.

Technically, you could still afford to go to South America. However, if another unexpected expense suddenly popped up, you would be in trouble. Therefore, you decided it would be wise to go another time instead of risking it.

Being responsible definitely isn’t fun.

All you wanted to do was to see Oikawa. Your friend. Your close friend. Your best friend in the entire world. Your friend that you were kind of (utterly) in love with.

~~~

You weren’t always in love with Oikawa.

The two of you met and bonded during your first year of high school. He was the attractive, athletic boy that everyone talked about and fawned over. And as fate would have it, you were paired up with him for a class project, which made practically every girl in your class jealous of you.

You were honestly nervous when you first went to his house to work on said project, though. He was the definition of Mr. Popular at school, and you hadn’t really talked to him one-on-one, aside from arranging a time to get together to tackle the assignment. There were so many questions and concerns racing through your mind like: What would he be like? Was he a completely different person outside of school? Will this entire project just be awkward? Will you end up having to do most of the work on your own?

“Hey Y/N,” he casually greeted you as he opened the front door and let you inside his house. He was wearing a t-shirt, a zip-up hoodie, and jeans: a casual look you had never seen him in before. “I was thinking we could work in the living room, as long as you’re fine with my nephew hanging around us for a bit. My sister is going to pick him up in like an hour.”

“UNCLE TOORU, IS THAT YOUR GIRLFRIEND?!” you heard a young voice screech from further in the house.

“DIDN’T I TELL YOU THAT I WOULD BUY YOU ANY TREAT YOU WANTED IF YOU BEHAVED?!” Oikawa Tooru, Mr. Popular, screeched back, earning a raised eyebrow from you.

“I’M TELLING MY MOM THAT YOU TRIED BRIBING ME!”

“I WASN’T BRIBING YOU; I WAS OFFERING YOU A DEAL!”

And that was your introduction into Oikawa’s personal life.

The experience of being partners with Oikawa for a school project was not what you anticipated. Sure, he was smug and charming, but he was also surprisingly childish at times. And there was something about him that made it easy for the two of you to chat and banter with one another. It was almost second nature to poke fun at each other relentlessly. Needless to say, even when the assignment was over, you and Oikawa hung out together frequently because you two simply clicked so well. It was like you were two puzzle pieces that fit together effortlessly.

And you were so attached at the hip with Aoba Johsai’s setter that people assumed you were dating. Countless girls would glare at you with envy in the hallways. Oikawa’s teammates perpetually teased him about his relationship with you. Neither of you cared about what other people thought, though.

“Us? Dating? That’s hilarious,” the two of you would laugh.

Despite you and Oikawa consistently having fun and joking around, you were really supportive of one another.

If either of you was stressed or angry about something, the other would act as a sounding board and be there to provide emotional support.

If either of you was sad, the other would be there with ice cream and a shoulder to cry on. (The day after Seijoh lost to Karasuno, you and Oikawa ate pints of ice cream while the captain complained about how much he hated geniuses).

If either of you was happy, you could always count on the other to celebrate.

Through thick and thin, for the small moments to the big moments and everything in between, he was there for you and vice versa.

~~~

Things started changing when Oikawa moved to Argentina. Obviously, you were elated for him because you wanted him to pursue his dreams. You knew that his love of volleyball triumphed over everything, and you never wanted to see his fiery passion for it simmer away.

Even so, this didn’t stop you from crying at the airport the day he left Japan.

You had been holding in your tears on the car ride to the airport, not wanting to dampen the mood. But once it came time for him to head through the security check-in, you had to say goodbye. And with one simple look at you, he could see right through your facade.

“This isn’t goodbye forever, you know,” he asserted, trying to make his tone sound light, but the smile on his face was bittersweet. Sweet because he was off to forge a future he was excited about, but bitter because he was leaving behind all the people he cares about. And it’s this smile that broke you and caused the tears to stream down your face.

“I know that,” you choke out. You were positive that if you tried saying anything else, your voice would completely break, and you'd end up having a meltdown in front of his family and a whole bunch of strangers.

Because you were so proud of Oikawa. But you were also going to miss him like hell.

And even though you only said “I know that”, Oikawa interpreted all the emotions you were feeling in those three words because he could read you like a book.

He wrapped his arms around you, and you buried your face in the crook of his neck, savoring the warmth of your closest confidant for what seemed like the last time.

“I’ll be back to visit soon. Time will fly quickly,” he whispers into your ear, and you know he was trying his best not to cry as well. “I’ll be back to annoy you before you know it and you’ll wish I stayed away longer.”

This caused you to chuckle and to tightly wrap your arms around his neck. “I’m pretty sure Iwaizumi, Hanamaki and Matsukawa combined can annoy me just as much as one Oikawa Tooru.”

Oikawa laughed at this and pulled back from the embrace to look at you with glistening eyes. “Hey now, no one can replace me in your life.”

“I know that,” you repeated as Oikawa gently wiped away a stray tear from your wet cheek.

“And you can come visit me in Argentina whenever you want. I’ll be waiting for you.”

~~~

Even as the years passed and Oikawa grew busier with his volleyball team, the two of you kept in touch. He texted you practically every day and, at least once a week, you would work out a time when you could call and hear each other’s voices. And he kept promise and returned to Japan a few times after moving to Argentina. Every time he came back home to visit, you would go back to your apartment after your long day at work and find him cheerfully sitting outside your door with his long legs stretched out in front of him, waiting for you to come home.

He did this each and every time without fail.

Since he was keeping his promise of visiting Japan as frequently as possible, you decided it was time to take up his offer of going to see him. And so, you went to Buenos Aires for a week in September.

Your first and only trip to Argentina (thus far) began with a warm fuzzy sensation. You felt it gnawing at your gut the moment you saw him in the airport in Buenos Aires. You were so excited to spend time with him in the beautiful South American country that, this time, you didn’t care about making a scene in front of an airport packed with strangers. Dragging your carry-on behind you, you ran towards him and, when you were close enough, you attacked him with a giant hug. Oikawa almost toppled over from the force of your embrace, but once he regained his balance, he gave you a tight squeeze. The moment you two pulled apart, you and Oikawa started rambling:

“How was your flight?!”

“I hope you didn’t have to wait too long.”

“Are you hungry?”

“Iwa says he misses you. Well, he didn’t say it exactly, but I could tell.”

Just staring into his joyous and animated brown eyes made your heart skip a beat for some reason. At the time you didn’t know why. It hadn’t been that long since you last saw him. You attributed it to the excitement of traveling somewhere new and the exhilaration of seeing your friend.

The one thing you were unquestionably certain about was that being with him made you feel whole.

This warm fuzzy sensation and your childlike glee continued throughout your trip as you and Oikawa decided to do all the touristy things in Buenos Aires. The setter had scheduled a week off from practice, so he could spend seven days exploring Argentina’s capital with you. You two went sight-seeing, wandered around marketplaces, visited museums, ate lots of delicious food (asado, empanadas, dulce de leche, etc.), and had a beach day.

The days were full of endless sun, laughter, and bantering. Everything was truly perfect.

That is until the last day of your trip.

To end your vacation, you and Oikawa had decided to take one final stroll through the vibrant and bustling city together. And that’s when you stumbled across a tourist shop selling various knick-knacks, like shirts, magnets, small figures of landmarks and hats.

Honestly, it was a cheesy and cliché thing to do, but you wanted to buy a souvenir. So, you proposed checking out the shop, which earned you a dramatic sigh from Oikawa, but agreed nonetheless.

After browsing through the quaint store for a bit, you found something you wanted to buy to commemorate your first trip to South America: a keychain with Argentina’s blue and white flag that you could put on your apartment keys.

You were about to head over to the older-looking man behind the counter to pay for your souvenir when Oikawa placed a hand on your shoulder and held out his palm towards you.

“Let me pay for it,” he insisted.

“Why?”

“Consider it a gift.”

Part of you contemplated quipping at him for gifting you some non-expensive souvenir, but his expression was so earnest that the words were caught in your throat.

“Thank you,” is what you managed to answer, handing the item over to him.

A triumphant smirk graced Oikawa’s lips as he walked over to the cashier, with you trailing not far behind, and placed the item on the counter. The old man put his newspaper away and began ringing up the keychain. As he did so, his eyes shifted between you and Oikawa.

“Para tu novia?” the man said. Though you didn't understand his words, based on his tone you knew the man had asked a question. And it was a question that made Oikawa turn bright red.

“No, no,” he immediately responded, flailing his hands around. “Ella es mi amiga.”

The man only shrugged, putting the keychain into a tiny brown paper bag before passing it over to you.

Once you and Oikawa headed outside, you glanced over at your friend, but he would not make eye contact with you. Typically, he would have thrown his heavy arm over your shoulders, bursting with a recommendation of where to head to next. At that moment, though, he silently stood apart from you with his focus glued to the crowded sidewalk and it was like a chasm had suddenly arisen between the two of you.

“So, umm,” you commence in an attempt to bridge this invisible awkward gap, “What did that guy say?”

“Hmm?” Oikawa hums, snapping out of whatever trance he was in. It appeared he didn’t even notice how quiet he was. “Oh, he was asking if you were my girlfriend.”

A flood of questions that race through your mind in that instant. Why did you freak out like that? Didn’t we used to joke about people mistaking us for a couple? Is that not the case anymore? Does it bother you now? However, rather than allowing all these questions to tumble out of your mouth, you restrain yourself. It was like mentally building a dam to prevent hitting Oikawa with a wave of queries.

“Oh,” you remarked in acknowledgement of what he said.

And that was the end of the discussion. A few more blocks of awkward silence and then everything returned to normal. Oikawa suggested a restaurant to eat at and you readily agree. The talking, the laughter and the banter resumed.

Nevertheless, for a brief period there was that chasm. And that you had built a dam. Never did you foresee not confiding in Oikawa. Never did you expect to not tell him what was bothering you. Never did you anticipate not speaking your mind to him.

But you pushed these thoughts aside because you didn't want them plaguing your last day in Buenos Aires. Instead, you focused on the present and the future. You and Oikawa talked about what you would do next time you came to visit. You made plans to go to a soccer game (though he maintains that volleyball is better), see Parque Nacional Nahuel Huapi, drive along the coast, spend more time at the beach, try more restaurants, go pub crawling, hang out with his teammates, etc.

When he dropped you off at the airport the following day, it wasn't as extremely emotional as the day he left Japan. You had proven that your friendship was strong enough to survive the distance and there wasn’t a doubt about you reuniting. Still, it didn’t mean that leaving would be any less sad.

“You’ll be coming home soon, right?” you verified once you are all checked in for your flight.

“Yup! I’m excited to see you and everybody else when I get back.”

“Wow, I haven’t even left yet, and you already miss me,” you joked, lightly shoving his shoulder.

“Hey, I always miss you!” he exclaimed and the warm fuzzy sensation that you felt when you arrived suddenly returned.

After you said your goodbyes, you boarded your flight and embarked on your long plane ride. And the thing about long plane rides is that there are little to no distractions. Of course there are movies to watch, podcasts/music to listen to, and sleep to catch up on, but it is mostly being alone with your thoughts. So, you replayed the past couple of days in your mind and reflected on Oikawa’s words.

I always miss you.

You always miss him too.

Despite the distance, he is always there for you, like he was in high school. He makes you ridiculously happy. You could be yourself when you’re around him. Seeing him was like having serotonin injected straight into your veins. It hurt you to think that he didn’t want others thinking you were his girlfriend. There was immense pleasure in knowing he missed you as much as missed him.

By the time you landed in Japan, you reached the nerve-wracking conclusion that you couldn’t deny: you are in love with Oikawa.

~~~

After admitting your true feelings towards Oikawa to yourself, you thought it would be best to confess to him when you next saw each other in person.

Since Buenos Aires, Oikawa had come to Japan for a quick visit in December. Unfortunately, you didn’t bring up your feelings towards him then. You justified this by telling yourself stuff like “Oh, we’re hanging with Iwa right now, so it would be weird to bring it up” and “He’s not here for too long and I don’t want to distract his time with his family.”

In reality, though, you were scared to tell him.

The next time you were planning on seeing Oikawa was on your second trip to Argentina and you decided that would be the best time to talk things over with him. Therefore, you swore to yourself that you wouldn’t chicken out of this conversation when you went to visit him.

~~~

Now it’s March and here you are with an expensive bill to pay because of your fucking car, no plane ticket to South America and an unrequited love towards your high school friend.

Yeah, being an adult kind of sucks.

Okay, maybe that’s a bit of an overreaction because you aren’t broke, you have a job you enjoy, you have an apartment you love, etc. It’s just the situation is vexing, and you don’t know what to do.

However, as you unlock your front door and look down at your keys, where the keychain Oikawa got for you dangles tauntingly, you know that the first thing you should do is call the setter and inform him of your change in plans.

Once you settle in for the evening, it’s 7:30 p.m., meaning that it’s 7:30 a.m. in Argentina, which is around the time Oikawa finishes his morning run. You plop down onto your cozy couch and shoot him a text saying: Hey, are you free to talk?

Less than a minute later, your phone is vibrating, and Oikawa’s name pops up on your screen. Without hesitation, you accept the phone call.

“Hello?”

“Y/N! Awesome timing! I just finished my run,” Oikawa greets chirpily. Although you’ve had a long, tiring workday, Oikawa’s day is beginning and he’s a morning person. His energetic tone brings a smile to your face and makes you feel livelier.

“Well, your morning routine is extremely predictable,” you chuckle. “How are you doing?”

“The team’s been trying out some new drills during practice this week, so that’s been really draining. But besides that, everything is good,” Oikawa answers. “How are you? Did you get your car looked at?”

“Umm…about that,” you begin.

You explain the situation to Oikawa regarding your car, the expense and how you don’t think you’ll be able to go to Argentina in April. Aside from the sound of shuffling and movement, Oikawa remains silent as you talk. Once you’ve finished speaking, you hear the handsome setter sigh.

“I knew you should have gone with the blue car,” Oikawa mutters.

“Wow,” you reply exasperatedly, rolling your eyes. “That’s the first thing you have to say?”

“Hey, don’t roll your eyes at me!”

“How can you tell I rolled my eyes? You can’t even see me!”

“I can sense it.”

“You are so melodramatic.”

“I am not!”

“This is coming from the guy who's been holding a grudge against Ushiwaka since middle school.”

“He’s an annoying emotionless bastard, Y/N, and you know that!”

“A very successful, annoying emotionless bastard.”

“Anyways,” Oikawa says, changing subjects, “I’m sorry you won’t be coming to visit next month.”

“I’m sorry too,” you mumble, an avalanche of dejection abruptly crashing onto you.

“What are you apologizing to me for?”

“I don’t know,” you murmur. “We were just looking forward to this and you were excited to make all the arrangements for us to see different parts of Argentina. Now I feel like I disappointed you and messed things up.”

“You did not mess things up, Y/N,” Oikawa firmly declares, and you are slightly startled by how his voice instantly became so serious. “This was out of your control. You couldn’t have predicted it.”

“I know, I know,” you state. It’s true that you knew this before Oikawa had uttered it, but there was something comforting about hearing those words come out of his mouth. “I was being silly. But you’re going to have to let me be a little sad about not going to Argentina. By the way, when are you coming back to Japan?”

“I think I’ll be going back towards the beginning of June,” your friend reveals dejectedly.

“Now you’re the one who sounds in low spirits,” you say teasingly, trying to lighten the mood.

“Can’t blame me for missing you.”

You’re so grateful that you're just talking to Oikawa over the phone instead of over a video call because he can't witness the blush creeping onto your cheeks. “I miss you too.”

“Glad to hear that,” Oikawa laughs.

There is a lull in the conversation, and you know it’s because Oikawa must go get ready for practice, but he doesn’t want the call to end. So, you clear your throat and break the silence, “You probably have to get going, right?”

“Yeah…”

“We’ll talk again soon?”

“Definitely. I’ll text you later, okay?”

“Okay!”

“Alright,” Oikawa responds, and you can picture his face grinning as he says, “Bye Y/N.”

“Bye Tooru.”

With that, the call is over and you're happy that you were able to talk to Oikawa, but your heart is still heavy and his “Can’t blame me for missing you” reverberates through your head. Even though he reassured you that the whole predicament wasn’t your fault, you wanted to make it up to him in some meaningful way.

And the perfect gift to do so springs into your mind.

~~~

A few weeks pass and early April rolls around the corner with its pleasantly mild weather. You are returning home to your apartment after an uneventful and unassuming Saturday that consisted of running minor errands. You're walking up the stairs of your apartment with a box of pizza (that perhaps might be too much for one person, but, hey leftovers) and you have no other plans aside from re-binge watching your favorite show.

However, your plans for a peaceful Saturday night shatter the moment you step into the hallway of your floor, and you recognize the familiar brown-haired setter unexpectedly slumped against your front door. Normally, Oikawa would jump to his feet as soon as he heard you walking down the corridor. This time, though, he doesn’t appear to notice your presence. Instead, he’s hugging his both knees to his chest as he rests his forehead against them.

“T-tooru?” you stammer, cautiously taking a couple quiet steps towards him because, truthfully, you think that you might be hallucinating.

The sound of your voice seems to send a shock through his system and Oikawa promptly scrambles to his feet, allowing you to finally get a good look at him: he has prominent dark circles under his eyes, his usually flawless silky hair is messy, his backpack is tossed precariously over his shoulder and he’s wearing a loose fitting plain white shirt and gray sweatpants. Essentially, his entire look screams tired.

Despite appearing exhausted, there is a playful glint in his eyes as he screeches, “Y/N!”

“What are you doing here?” you inquire, your feet remaining glued a few feet away from him as you simply gawk at the volleyball player. “I thought you were supposed to come to Japan in June.”

“I was,” Oikawa chuckles as he closes the distance between you two. He embraces you gingerly and briefly before taking the pizza from your hands. “Thanks for getting me some food, I’m starving.”

“That’s my dinner,” you state grumpily, crossing your arms over your chest as you narrow your eyes at him. “Are you going to elaborate on why you’re back here so soon?”

“Can we maybe go inside first before catching up?” Oikawa asks, pointing at your front door. You nod your head in agreement, pulling out your keys with the familiar Argentinian keychain, and within a matter of moments, you and Oikawa are inside your cozy apartment, kicking off your shoes at the door and flicking on lights.

As Oikawa sets the pizza box on top of your granite kitchen counter, you head to the cabinets to grab two plates. “You can grab a slice if you want.”

“Maybe later,” Oikawa answers as he stands on the opposite side of the counter from you. He’s fidgeting with the straps of his backpack, which makes you think he’s nervous. And that is somewhat surprising since he is constantly cool and confident.

“This coming from the guy who just complained that he was starving?” you question, raising an eyebrow at him as you place the plates beside the closed pizza box.

Rather than answering your question or responding with a snide remark, Oikawa blurts out, “I have a gift for you.”

“A gift for me?”

Oikawa nods then adds, “You have to close your eyes first then hold your hands.”

“Really?” you reply incredulously.

“Yes, really,” Oikawa affirms, mimicking your tone.

You roll your eyes at him, but do as he says. You shut your eyes tightly and hold both your hands above the counter separating you two. As soon as your eyes are closed, you hear Oikawa zip open his backpack and you can tell he’s rummaging around for something. Then, an extremely light item is placed on top of your palms.

“Can I open my eyes now?”

“Yup!”

Your eyes flicker and you glance down at your hands where a beige manila folder is resting. Your eyebrows furrow in confusion as you attempt to figure out what Oikawa is up to.

“Open it,” he quietly coaxes you, interrupting your thoughts.

Once again, you do as he says and open the folder, which contains of a single slip of paper inside. You take the letter-sized paper from the folder and begin scanning the contents of the sheet. It doesn’t take you long to figure out what the paper is, but you gape at it with wide eyes, not comprehending what you are holding.

The sheet of paper shows confirmation for a round trip flight from Tokyo to Buenos Aires on the days you had originally planned to go.

You look up at Oikawa at total loss for words, but he’s staring down at his shoes, his lips pursed in a straight line.

The long silence in the room is almost deafening, but you eventually find your voice, “Tooru, thank you, but this-”

“Is too much,” Oikawa cuts you off by finishing your sentence. He finally looks up at you with those unwavering, sincere brown eyes. “This is actually a pretty selfish gift to give.”

“What do you mean?”

Another long pause follows as you stare at him expectantly and he gazes back at you anxiously. He then runs a hand through his hair, pushing his disorderly bangs out of his eyes and sighs, “I just really wanted to see you again and I couldn’t wait until June. That’s why I brought you the tickets and made the spur-of-the-moment decision to come to Japan today. I had to see you.”

As he speaks, his voice gradually becomes more strained and his voice breaks at the last sentence. Seeing him so emotional tugs at your heart strings, so you reach over the counter to place a hand on his elbow. “Tooru-”

“I don’t mean to interrupt you again, Y/N,” he states with a weak smile as he takes your hand into his and grips it firmly. “But if I don’t say what I came all the way here to say to you right now, I’m scared that I’ll never have the guts to tell you.”

You feel a pit grow in your stomach that is full of apprehension. Your mind clambers to come up with a million possibilities of what Oikawa has to say and all the seemingly plausible explanations you can come up with are all negative. You don’t even permit yourself to hope that maybe, just maybe, that he is going to say what you’ve been wanting to hear for so long. Once you’re able to collect your thoughts, you nod and allow Oikawa to continue.

“Y/N, you’ve always held a special place in my heart. But it wasn’t until I moved to Argentina that I realized how much better the world is when you’re around. It’s kind of like the sun shines brighter and the sky is bluer. And when I came to that realization, it suddenly hit me that I'm completely in love with you,” he declares, not breaking eye contact with you as he walks around the counter so that he’s directly towering over you. He runs his calloused thumb over the back of your hand as he continues, “I think I’ve been in love with you a long time. Maybe ever since you came over to my house to work on that project and you looked at me like I was the biggest idiot on the planet for bickering with Takeru. I’m sorry it took me so long to come to this conclusion. And I’m sorry if it makes things awkward between us, but I couldn’t go on with not telling you how I feel.”

To say you are dumbfounded at this confession is an understatement. To you, this feels like the type of thing that happens in movies and stories that have happy endings. To you, this type of thing doesn’t happen in real, ordinary adult life. You’re so overwhelmed with joy that your eyes get watery.

“Y/N,” Oikawa whispers, wiping away the tears that start sliding down your cheeks with his free hand and he assumes that your tears are anything, but happy.

His concerns are dispelled when a big smile creeps onto your lips and you pronounce, “I love you too, you dummy.”

Now it’s Oikawa’s eyes that grow wide in astonishment and he places his hands on both your shoulders, as if trying to ensure that this is actually happening.

“Really?!” he enthusiastically yells, his heart pounding rapidly against his rib cage.

You don’t bother offering any verbal confirmation, but instead opt to throw your arms around his neck and press your lips against his. Oikawa is temporarily taken aback by this gesture, but he soon snakes his hand through your hair to deepen the fiery kiss. The kiss is as electric as a thunderstorm and as satisfying as a cold drink on a hot summer’s day. It is everything you’ve yearned for, and it exceeds all expectations. And once you pull away from one another, you and Oikawa are all giggles and goofy smiles as you rest your foreheads against each other’s.

“Are we idiots for not noticing that we’re in love with one another?” you chuckle, raising a hand to your face to wipe away any lingering tears.

“I guess we are,” Oikawa laughs, pushing a stray strand of hair out of your face.

“Wait, I almost forgot!” you shout, taking a couple steps back before rushing towards your bedroom. “I got you a gift too!”

“You got me a gift too?! You didn’t even know I was coming!” you hear Oikawa exclaim as you rummage through your drawer.

“Well, I picked it up last weekend and I was planning on giving it to you the next time we met up,” you reveal as you emerge from your bedroom, holding the gift behind your back. “Hands out, please.”

Oikawa rolls his eyes, but obliges and once you approach him, you drop the gift into his outstretched palms: a single bronze key attached to a keychain with the Japanese flag.

“What’s this?” Oikawa asks, arching an eyebrow at you curiously.

“It’s a spare key to my apartment. When you come to visit, you are always waiting at my front door for me to get back from work. I thought I’d get a key, so you don’t have to stand outside anymore. Plus, you got me a keychain in Argentina. I thought I would get you a keychain to remind you of home,” you explain then bashfully add, “Sorry it’s not as fancy as plane tickets.”

Oikawa shakes his head vigorously as he wraps his fingers around the key and holds it as if it’s as precious as diamonds. “Don’t say that, Y/N. I love it.”

With that, he wraps his toned arms around your waist and pulls you in for another kiss, which is a little sweeter this time, but somehow just as passionate. And as you melt against him, you know that you’ll never get bored of kissing Oikawa.

~~~

So, can adulting be hard?

Yes, it can.

Undoubtedly hard.

Stupidly, frustratingly hard.

But it can also be fun and exciting. Not to mention, brimming with delightful surprises as well.

Such as falling in love with your best friend.

#oikawa x reader #oikawa x y/n #oikawa tooru x reader #oikawa x f!reader #oikawa tooru #oikawa torū #haikyuu x reader

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