#my sister had it on PlayStation growing up and my only memories is not being able to fight the beginning nurses bc I couldn’t find

[acquired-stardust]

Game Spotlight #3: Digimon World (1999)

Today is a special day and as such it is is only fitting that today marks the first Acquired Stardust Game Spotlight brought to you by me, Larsa. What makes today special? Well that’s because it’s August 1st, better known to many fans around the world as "Odaiba Memorial" or more simply "Odaiba Day", a day which marks the 24th anniversary of the chosen children, the “Digidestined”, who first made their way into the digital world. No matter when you became a fan of Digimon this date holds a deep meaning to all of us in the Digimon fandom for being the day that the original chosen children started their journey. 

                                                  “ ! “

This is a universal day we in the fandom celebrate the world over and it is an eventful day like this that puts on full display how caring the Digimon fanbase is of the series. Whether you can visit the man made island of Odaiba in person on this day or you are browsing through your social media apps embracing the meme this is our day fellow "Digi-fans".  Digimon is the franchise that kick-started my imagination and truly meant the most to me growing up as a child back in 1999 when "Digimon Adventure" first aired on Fox in North America. It is no exaggeration to say years in my childhood that Digimon was very much my life. It was what I most often thought about when I would daydream at school, or soccer practice. I would even find the spare time as a child to desecrate an innocent sheet of paper with my personal crudely drawn original Digimon. ( We all did this am I right? )   As a way to make me happy with my childhood obsession the first home console game that my older brothers bought me was Digimon World for the original Playstation. The game blew my mind with how large it felt at the time and as a result was what largely consumed my summer vacation that year. I happily say that this game has been an absolute adventure to revisit to this day~!

                                “ This was innovative at the time! “

Digimon, shorthand for " Digital Monsters ", started as a virtual pet toy created by WiZ and Bandai in the year 1997 as the more "masculine" companion to big sister toyline " Tamagotchi ". These new Digital Monsters weren't just adorable pets wanting for you to take care of them they were born fighters and you the player would tame these creatures from birth to battle other players of the game through connecting devices. It turns out many children did become tamers because the Digimon v-pet toy was an instant hit selling many toys right away. Immediately after the launch of the original toy-line it was clear that Bandai was very confident that they could shape Digimon into a successful multimedia franchise. The Digimon toyline was quickly followed up with a more expanded toyline, magazines, manga, trading card game, and several video game projects - the first notable home console video game release being "Digital Monster Ver. S" for the Sega Saturn in Japan.  The first globally released Digimon video game would be "Digimon World" for the Playstation console and this game was developed alongside it's own sequel "Digimon World 2" in an ambitious project by Bandai to ensure in their minds global domination. 

“ Digimon World “ was originally was released on January 28th in the year 1999 in Japan to a successful launch.  The following year it would be first released in May to North America(NTSC) and shortly afterward in July to European(PAL) regions. Both of these version would both go onto be big selling hits on the console earning the Playstation's "Greatest Hits" label in North America and likewise "Platinum" status in Europe because quite frankly Digimon was that big of a deal already. By the year 2000, it was clear outside of Japan that Digimon would not just go down as another another contender to Pokemon’s reign. The Digimon series had become a champion in it's own right establishing itself as a rival even for Pokemon at the time. Digimon World was the first Digimon video game most of the world experienced. So the question is after all this time how does the game hold up 24 years later? Was it worth the hype in a crowded platform like the Playstation?

                      “ Sidenote: They were pushing the original Digimon TCG  “     

                                  “Welcome to The Digital World “

 The Digital World is a vast and mysterious place that exists both within our world and outside of it. You insert the Digimon World disc then go through the Playstation start up sequence where you are greeted by that haunting yet relaxing boot up sound of the console. After a brief load time you are shown in wonderfully aged FMV from a typical afternoon of the year 1999 in Japan complete with children battling virtually through the Digimon V-Pet toys. Before long the battle between the two players go from toy to imagination in our main character's head, daydreaming of the fight between two Ultimate level Digimon: the proud MetalMamemon and the imposing MetalGreymon. After the cut-scene you hit start to officially start your own journey to the digital world albeit an unintentional one for our avatar as they are forcefully whisked away into the Digital World itself through their own V-Pet toy.

                                      “ MetalMamemon wants to fight! “

Once the scene finishes playing then you are confronted by Jijimon, an elderly wise Digimon who asks the players some background questions which determine your starter Digimon. You see depending on the answers you gave Jijimon you will receive Agumon or Gabumon as a companion both Digimon whose potential take different shapes. After being introduced to your partner you are then given reason for why you were brought here to the Digital World: it turns out maybe you really do just love Digimon so much that it made you a chosen child yourself? At any rate you the player are tasked by Jijimon with the serious task of rebuilding " File City ", a village where Digimon used to live in peace with one another until recent times where the formerly peace loving Digimon fled the city after having forgotten their own past. As you guide each new Digimon back to the city you may uncover the truth behind the current ongoing mystery of File Island.  Those who re-join the new File City  will offer something helpful to the city whether it to run a Bank, Item Shop, Clinic, or much more.  Ideally you will help the village grow from its humble roots to a true city but it won’t be easy, tamer.

                           “ Becoming Garurumon is gonna be tough... “      

                        The game truly begins now as you are set on a journey to explore File Island, a wondrous land of mystery with many different ecosystems filled with many diverse Digimon and just as many wires emerging from the soil unlike anything you may have seen before anywhere else. And now with this journey comes responsibility - while your primary goal for being here may be to help File Island at large your more immediate task is to care for and raise your Digimon properly. It is up to you the player to decide how you raise your digital partner as each day passes by in a linear manner through morning, day, dusk, and dawn cycles. It is at this point you can immediately with courage choose to venture outside the city into the unknown or spend some time building the combat stats of your Digimon partner at The Green Gym section of File City. At the gym you can put your Digimon through a variety of training tasks which is typically focused on increasing one stat at a time primarily. These stats are known in the game as HP which effects how much damage they can take before fainting. MP which determines the amount of points how many combat techniques your partner can use in a battle. Off(ense) which is the stat the game uses to figure out how hard a Digimon hits another. Def(ense) which works as the opposite, this stat determines how much damage a Digimon takes from being hit in which the higher def means less taken away from HP. SPD which determines how often a Digimon attacks with a technique (this caps at 300 SPD), how often a Digimon guards against an opponent's technique, and how fast your Digimon's Finishing Move charges through their own actions. And last but not least is Wis(dom!) which can give your Digimon the ability to listen to more commands in battle. Each training session causes an hour to pass by in the digital world but this is time well spent because these stats are the key to success in combat.

                                     “ Yup, it really won’t be easy. “               

If you raise your Rookie-rank Digimon improperly they will eventually become a rather weak Champion-level creature known as "Numemon" hardly fitting for the moniker at first glance. However if you raise them well they can become something greater through digivolution and every Digimon has multiple evolutionary branches which are driven conditionally by how you raise the Digimon whether it be through hitting stat thresholds, battles, the amount (or lack of) care mistakes, techniques learned, or even body weight.  The game even has additional secret methods of reaching digivolutions that may surprise a player the first time playing and even longtime players who have yet to experience everything the game has to offer in their time with it. You may not always get what you want through Digivolution without proper planning so keep that in mind.

           Outside the city you may run into hostile Digimon that can quickly become challenging for your partner had they not been prepared properly for the dangers of the wild. Once in combat you have to leave the battling to your Digimon partner as you stand on the sidelines making commands or supporting them with various healing items. It is at this early point you learn that you cannot directly control what your partner does in battle you can only offer them orders to influence their behavior in a battle system akin to something known as an "auto-battler" today. Your partner when they achieve victory can learn techniques from their foes, obtain items, and Bits (currency). On the other hand your partner can fall in battle and for each time they fall in battle they will lose a heart which will result in them passing away upon losing three hearts. Between any battles that can occur your digital partner needs food, they need to use the bathroom, and your digital partner needs rest. Every time your Digimon uses the bathroom outside of a stall or porta-potty it will result in a "Care Mistake"  which the game will remember for that Digimon's lifespan through an in game counter. 

                       “ Forget it. This dino is more cuddly than any wolf. “

  I mentioned lifespan earlier, right? Well every partner Digimon generally needs to be cared for with love before unavoidably they pass away sooner or later. And when that time comes Jijimon will be there to reincarnate your partner Digimon into a Digi-Egg where they start life all over again. Due to the nature of this game you form a bond with your Digimon that you may not find yourself having with other similar monster raising video games such as Pokemon. The time you have with your Digimon in the Digital World is fleeting and it's quite sad. As a tamer it is with love inside of your heart that you must juggle that fleeting time between making your buddy stronger and spending their same limited time saving the Digimon outside the city alongside the player. There is a real somber feeling when you know your Digimon might be on your last day as you run a frozen tundra for the final time at night knowing it might be their last one with you. Everyone who has played this game enough understands that heavy feeling and it is that feeling which drives you to do better for your next partner.

                              “  This land is labeled correctly. “

This game world has its own logic and rules that are rewarding to learn to get past the harsh difficulty curves.  And now with that being said it is this same "gameplay loop" which I laid out in detail leading up to this which would often overwhelm me as a child. Many times I would aim for my Agumon to become the mighty Greymon only to get another alternate digivolution like Monochromon instead of the one which I planned for. This would happen to younger me even with the official Brady Strategy Guide by my side because a guide can only help you through so much - this was a game you had to experience and learn yourself back in the day to get the most out of it.

                                  “ Time flows differently here! “

The Digital World in this game is all about discovery. Often you may have no idea what to do next exactly if you are playing the game blind though with enough discovery you will figure it out.  You may find that next Digimon you need to bring back to File Island in a place you never thought to check. You may even find a random item on screen you have walked by hundreds of time without ever having seen before that hundredth visit. Digimon World balances elements of a pet-simulator, and maybe more impressively a world that feels like it is really one of a kind.  The environments in this game are beautiful, populated with all kinds of digital critters, and accompanied by often fitting ambient sounds which fit the atmosphere the game presents to us.  There is nothing quite like walking through File City at nighttime with your Digimon partner as that lovely song plays away in the background. Composers Koji Yamada and Yuko Ishii outdid themselves with this game’s score, most songs being geared to the environment at hand and some others geared towards pulse pounding combat as your partner is locked in a fight for survival. For example the musical themes of Factorial Town feels daunting and mechanical in nature.  We now live in an era full of "open world" video games everywhere and yet sometimes Digital World feels more alive to me than even some modern AAA offerings. It says a lot about a game’s quality when it can stick with someone positively years later.

                                      “ Make the right choice. “

Speaking of the way the game looks all together it is a pretty nice looking game for the Playstation. It is the first time that the original Digimon which famed Digimon designer Kenji Watanabe created were being presented in a 3D environment within a video game. These 3D models are a huge leap in technology over the V-Pet sprites and these over several dozen designs really shined in this iteration of The Digital World. Often the monsters in this series are known for looking "cool" such as Leomon so it is worth mentioning even the cuter designs like Monzaemon look absolutely adorable in this game. The graphics, soundtrack, and presentation of this game are pretty strong in my opinion.        

              “ This chart helps you raise every kind of Digimon available! ”

 I truly appreciate this game even more today then I did in the year 2000 when I played it for the very first time and there is so much more that I could muse over with this game. Now with all this being said there are many bugs and glitches in this game so be warned this gemstone can be rough around the edges.   Overall I will cut myself short to say proudly that this game stands up to the test of time and the influence of this game is felt to this day. Worth mentioning that "Digimon World: Next Order" serves as a true sequel to this beloved PlayStation title and yet as good as it may be the new title does not replace the original game. I'm urging anybody who has not played this game yet to seek it out and give it a chance. Better yet find the Digimon World Randomizer created by the game's devout community which adds many features and fixes nearly every game bug, all things in service of making the experience even better. There is even chatter from the current producer of Digimon video games that we can expect either a remaster or remake of this beloved title someday. Which makes sense considering Digimon is even more popular globally than ever now. No matter how you experience this game it is worth playing for any Digimon fan even just one time. 

Digimon World is an incredible adventure worthy of being called stardust.

-- Larsa

[purplesurveys]

1470

What’s your favourite flavour of soda, pop or whatever else you call it? No favorites, I don’t drink soda.

What level of brightness do you usually keep your phone at? It’s always at the brightest possible setting. It drives my sister absolutely insane and she likes to call me a boomer because of it hahaha.

Have you ever attended a religious or private school? I attended a school that ticks both these boxes for 14 years. All-girls, Catholic, private – that was a treat for my atheist, liberal, LGBT+ self lol.

Do you have any pets and are they cuddly? I have three dogs. The cuddliest one I would say is Aki, but he only becomes so when it’s nighttime and is able to behave next to me in bed. Cooper is pretty much restless 24/7 unless he’s in his pen; and while Kimi is more reserved than the two, he never was the cuddly type either and prefers to keep to himself.

What’s the worst job you’ve ever had? I’ve only had one job so far, but it’s nowhere near being the worst.

How many cars does your household own? We have two. We used to have three but we had to let one go during the pandemic.

Do you know anyone named Edward or any nickname of that? There are some mutual friends with that name. I also had a granduncle named Eduardo, but he passed away a year ago due to COVID.

What time do you usually have dinner? Around 7 or 7:30 in the evening.

Are there any cracks or scuffs on your phone? No. It’s fairly new but also the first phone I bought with my own money so I’m 600% careful with it lololol.

What’s your favourite meat? Beef or crab.

Do you need glasses to read or drive or need them all the time? I wear glasses because I'm nearsighted. < Hey, same. I say it all the time but I’m really nothing without my glasses haha.

How did you celebrate your last New Years Eve? I honestly can’t even remember. I think I just stayed home but I did spend time with family in the evening while we waited for midnight to welcome the new year.

Is the internet fast where you live? It’s fast for me, but I’ve heard more than once that the Philippines actually sucks when it comes to internet speed lol so it’s just somehing I’ve been used to, that’s why I think it’s fast.

What is your favourite meal of the day and why? Dinner, just because I skip breakfast and lunch all the time. I also tend to eat out in the evening more often.

Do you like long surveys or short surveys better? Medium ones are generally the best, though sometimes what I’ll do is take several short ones in one sitting and post them in one entry.

Xbox, PlayStation or neither? I live in a Playstation household, always have. We had the PS1 and PS2 in the duplex I lived in growing up, and currently we have the PS3 and PS4 in the living room. No PS5 yet.

Have you ever been to a cocktail bar? Yes.

Do you consider yourself a fast typer? Sure. It’s also kind of necessary in my work so you learn to be fast as time goes by.

What’s the best amusement park you’ve ever visited? Universal Studios in Singapore, so far.

Do you keep the cabinets in your kitchen and bathroom organized? Yeah. My mom hates mess on any level so everything is constantly neat.

Have you ever had a romantic fling? Nope.

Are you a very forgetful person? I can be, but for the most part my memory stays razor sharp.

What was the last movie you saw in the cinema? Knives Out in 2019.

How old were you when you got your first car? 17.

What colour is your shampoo? The bottle is white, if that’s what you’re asking.

Are you doing anything tomorrow? Nothing much apart from taking Aki to the vet, going to mass, and seeing my grandma and cousins at their place.

Do you know anyone who’s gotten pregnant over the age of 40? Yeah, I have a few classmates and friends whose mom had already been older than 40 when they had them.

Tell me a silly little wives' tale you believed when you were a child. That I couldn’t sleep if my hair was still wet.

Who does most of the grocery shopping in your home? Mom.

Have you ever been approached by someone in public preaching about religion? No, thank goodness. There were people like that who would loiter in my campus, but I was never approached by one of them.

Are you listening to music right now? If so, what’s the theme of the lyrics. Nah, I’m listening to a Run BTS episode in the background.

What was the last thing you had to eat? Fried eggplant with some rice.

[mostlycompetentwriter]

“Carpe Diem” - Domesticated Sequel

F/M Pairing: Felix x OC (original character)

Genre: Strangers to Lovers AU; Sequel

Warnings: mild language; but it’s mostly fluff again!

Word Count: 2.5K

Summary: Felix loves his brother, and he loves his brother’s wife as well. But there are times when he feels left out and lonely when he watches their interactions together, and maybe he’d like to experience love for himself with the right girl...

Thalia: the goddess of festivity

Felix really didn’t like the idea of a monogamous relationship. Because they often demanded too much of his time, and those commitments restricted his preference for one-night stands after picking up a pretty girl from the bar. 

But perhaps Felix should reconsider his entire philosophy (after all, he does have a masters degree in the subject) because standing in the middle of the modest lobby of Y/N’s office building, Felix couldn’t help but wonder why he had ever believed such stupid things.

“I’ll call you later,” Thalia promised him with a gentle kiss - the current subject of his most intimate fantasies.

Felix smiled against her lips since he was apparently whipped for one girl (and one girl only) despite his past decisions. “I already miss you,” Felix replied, and he was grateful that Thalia found his cheesiness funny.

They had already been on several dates together (even though Felix couldn’t understand why she kept agreeing because he was so unbelievably shy and awkward), and Felix was growing more and more enamored with the concept of a long-term romance with flowers falling in the background while swelling music crescendos when they kiss for the thousandth time. 

It was the perfect description for their relationship, and he met Thalia at one of the bars he frequented, and she instantly caught his attention with her flirtatious smile and infectious laugh. She also looked beautiful while wearing tight skinny jeans and a low-cut blouse that left very little to the imagination. They wound up together in the sketchy bathroom behind the building, and Felix had never been with someone who managed to unravel him from head to toe in such a short amount of time.

It was the first occasion where he had ever asked for the other girl’s number, and she had stolen his wrist and scribbled the numbers on the back of his hand before kissing the daylights out of him.

When he got home that night, he immediately questioned Chan on the topic of dating, asking him a thousand questions on how best to impress a girl: “Did you pay on your date with Y/N or did you split the bill?”

But Chan had looked at him like he had grown another head, and Felix realized that he would have to put in a lot of effort to make an impression.

Because Thalia was worth it, and she was just so pure like one of his favorite Greek mythology characters come to life! 

“Be good for me,” Thalia said, pulling him out of his memories and back to the present moment.

Apparently, Thalia was meeting someone who worked in this enormous office building - the same one where Y/N suffered under the direction of Seo Changbin, but that was a story for another time.

“My sister-in-law works here,” Felix remarked. 

“Oh?” Thalia grinned as she examined the space around them. “What a coincidence.”

“But I also enjoyed our lunch together,” Felix said, and he was suddenly crowding Thalia against the elevators despite the onlookers observing their interaction.

“Thank you for walking me here,” Thalia said, and Felix watched with a heart full of affection as she waved at him before the elevator doors closed on them.

And Felix was on cloud-nine for the rest of the day, checking his phone repeatedly as he waited for Thalia to contact him again. 

“Are you waiting for the new PlayStation trailer?” Chan eventually interrupted his obsession, ruffling his hair before joining him on the couch.

“No!” Felix protested, and he shoved his phone away before reaching out for one of the controllers. “You wanna play?”

“Sure,” Chan said. “I’m not on call tonight.”

“Good,” Felix said. “I can kick your ass in Fortnite.”

“Whatever,” Chan scoffed, and he started jabbing his thumbs into the buttons while doing whatever he could to avoid Felix’s attacks. “You’ve had more practice than me!”

“You just suck,” Felix informed him bluntly, narrowing his eyes in concentration as he focused on the screen.

It was actually nice to spend some time with his brother and keep his mind off the persistent question of whether or not Thalia might call him before the end of the night.

“You two are so loud!” Y/N complained when she walked into the living room.

“It’s called intense focus,” Felix replied, chuckling when he managed to hit Chan’s character yet again.

“Hey!” Chan exclaimed, and Y/N rolled her eyes.

“Dinner is almost ready,” she said, tossing a towel over her shoulder before leaving the room and muttering something about boys and their games.

But just when Felix was about to win another round, his phone started going off, and he immediately hit the pause button so that he could look at the screen with a gasp. “Oi,” Chan shouted. “What the hell are you doing?”

“This is important!” Felix insisted, and his eyes drank in every word of Thalia’s message:

FROM T:

T: Would you be interested in having dinner with me and my step-brother tomorrow night? I really want you to meet him!

There was a series of X’s and O’s at the end that had Felix’s heart spiraling out of control. “Oh!” Chan grinned. “Is that your secret admirer?”

“Chan!” Felix whined. “She wants me to have dinner with at her brother’s house,” Felix said. “Holy shit! That means this is serious, right?”

“Congratulations, mate,” Chan said while slapping him on the shoulder. “I think you’ve got yourself a serious relationship!”

“Who, Felix?” Y/N scoffed when she re-entered the room. “I couldn’t help but overhear everything, but I’m having a hard time believing it.”

“She’s amazing,” Felix swooned. “I’m a total romantic now!”

“Felix settling down for one girl?” Y/N questioned. “I never thought I’d see the day!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Felix frowned. 

“Nothing,” Y/N song-songed, and she invited them into the dining room where Felix played around with his food while he thought about his impending date.

“But what should I do about her brother?” Felix asked, looking back and forth between Y/N and Chan. “He might hate me!”

“Nobody could hate you Felix,” Chan said. “Just be yourself.”

“But with better manners,” Y/N inserted. “And maybe a nicer attitude-”

“Okay, I get it,” Felix huffed. “I need a lot of work.”

“We can practice right now,” Y/N suggested. “The table is set, and we can pretend like I’m Thalia and Chan is her brother.”

“What, like role-playing?”

“Get your mind out of the gutter,” Y/N said. “That’s step number one.”

But Felix had the impression that this might take most of the night, and since he was more determined than ever to sweep Thalia off her feet, he allowed his brother and Y/N to teach him everything there was to know concerning the complicated art of being a model citizen and a top-tier boyfriend.

But despite the practice, Felix was a ball of nerves as he paced outside of Thalia’s apartment. His mind was focused on too many things at once: Did he look okay? Was he supposed to bring something? What if her step-brother was some kind of wrestler who could beat the hell out of him?

Yet, Felix could’ve never foreseen in his craziest dreams the unforgettable moments proceeding his gentle knock on the door when Thalia answered with someone standing next to her:

“Felix?”

“Changbin!” Felix squealed, and Thalia shot them both a confused look as she stood next to the entrance.

Oh, god, the wrestler would’ve been better!

“Do you two know each other?”

“Yeah,” Changbin said with narrowed eyes. “We do.”

“There’s...some history,” Felix said, and Thalia didn’t seem certain of how to address this sudden development.

“Well, you can come inside,” she said, and Felix flinched when she offered him a chaste kiss because Changbin was eyeballing the fuck out of him and Felix could barely remain standing. “I’m just finishing up in the kitchen! Make yourselves comfortable in the dining room.”

Felix nodded, but he watched her walk away with a feeling of dread. “I can’t say that I saw this coming,” Changbin said. “Tell me, Felix, what are your intentions with my sister?”

“Uhhh...” Felix couldn’t believe that his brain was failing him in that moment, but the shock of seeing Changbin had rendered him nothing more than a blabbering idiot. “She’s really cool.”

“Right,” Changbin snorted, and Felix quickly darted around him in the direction of the dining room because this was not what he rehearsed last night in the dozens of scenarios he practiced with Chan and Y/N.

“I made your favorite, Felix,” Thalia said when she brought out a tray from the kitchen. 

“Thank you,” Felix said, and his tone was barely more than a whisper when he caught Changbin’s glare from across the table.

“I’m so glad we could do this,” Thalia said, and she sat down at the head of the table to look between them. “So, you must tell me how you met.”

“College,” Felix said, and he knew that was a vague answer, but Changbin was more than willing to pick up the pieces.

“You remember that girl I dated Freshman year, T?” Changbin asked, and he spooned himself a generous portion of food.

“Of course,” Thalia said and she rolled her eyes while looking in Felix’s direction. “It was so sad, babe. Changbin was dating this girl he liked and another man stole her away!”

“That’s not true!” Felix exclaimed, and Thalia startled at his harsh tone.

“Felix?” she murmured. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Felix said as he held tightly to his fork. “I just remember things a bit differently.”

“I bet you do,” Changbin retorted before turning to Thalia again. “Bang Chan is Felix’s brother.”

Thalia’s eyes immediately widened at the revelation. “Oh, so that means...”

“Yeah,” Changbin growled. “His sister-in-law is Y/N.”

Felix could feel his heart thundering inside his chest, and the table was silent thereafter, but Felix couldn’t help but wonder if this was what Y/N had meant by “worst possible scenario.”

Felix was certain that the universe was playing some sort of practical joke on him, but he never liked being the punchline. 

After he left Thalia’s apartment, she called him to apologize for everything that happened. “Maybe we shouldn’t see each other for a few days,” she said, and Felix had felt his heart break in half.

But he respected Thalia’s opinion, even if Y/N was growing tired of his dejected behavior as he lazed around on the couch. He had explained everything to Y/N and Chan, and they were both shocked at the revelation of Changbin being Thalia’s step-brother. “What are the chances?” Y/N said. “It must’ve happened after we stopped dating.”

“Well, everything’s ruined,” Felix said, and he didn’t bother to change his poor attitude because he had never felt this sad before over losing another girl.

“You care a lot, Lix,” Chan had tried to explain to him. “You really liked her.”

“Yeah,” Felix agreed, but words weren’t enough to help him.

But actions always spoke louder, and Felix never anticipated seeing Changbin on the other side of the door when Y/N demanded that he greet their unexpected visitor. “Perfect,” Changbin said, and he pushed Felix inside so that he could shut the door.

“Felix, who was it?” Y/N asked, and she paused in the middle of the foyer when she noticed Changbin standing there. “Changbin?!”

“Glad we’re all on the same page,” Changbin said, and he glanced at Y/N for a moment before looking at Felix. “My sister isn’t one of your playthings, Felix.”

“I know,” Felix growled, but he wasn’t able to say anything else because Chan had wandered into the room, and he was immediately confrontational as he sneered down at Changbin.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“I came to give Felix a warning,” Changbin said. “He needs to stay away from my sister!

“Isn’t that funny? It’s all come full circle right, Seo?” Chan snarled. “I’m married to your ex-girlfriend while my little brother is sleeping with your sister.”

“Well, we’ve only slept together once..” Felix said, but both Changbin and Chan shot him a glare.

“Oh, this is ridiculous,” Y/N intervened. “Changbin, you and I were never going to stay together! And our personal history shouldn’t have any impact on what you think of Felix and Thalia being together.”

“It doesn’t,” Changbin said. “But I remember what Felix was like in college.”

“What? He can’t change?” Y/N retorted.

“He’s too immature!” Changbin insisted, and Felix crossed his arms over his chest because he just about tired of Seo Changbin’s interference.

“Listen to me,” Felix said. “I like your sister a lot, Changbin, and I would never do anything to hurt her! She means more to me than those bad decisions I made in the past, and I’m not about to let you ruin the best thing that’s ever happened to me!”

Felix took a deep breath following his exclamation, and he was proud of himself when Changbin averted his gaze. “I still don’t like it,” Changbin muttered.

“Well, it’s not your decision to make,” Felix said. “I’m coming to meet your sister tomorrow, and she’ll decide where we stand!”

It was a fierce declaration, and Felix had never felt more assured that he was finally doing the right thing.

FROM T:

We can meet in Changbin’s office building.

Felix received the message a few hours after he had sent a heartfelt plea to finally have a chance to speak to Thalia again. He really missed her company, and Felix was determined to fix everything and return their relationship to how it was before the drama with Changbin. And he was willing to meet her on whatever grounds she requested, even if that meant Changbin’s office building.

He arrived early because he was nervous, but Y/N offered him a few words of encouragement while he waited around her desk. Thankfully, Thalia didn’t keep him waiting for long, and she walked down the hallway with a glaring Changbin glued to her side. “Felix,” Changbin said, and he was still looking at Felix like he was the worst person in the world.

“Can Thalia and I talk alone?”

“What gives you the right?”

“Changbin,” Thalia inserted, and she gave her brother a knowing look.

And Felix raised a suggestive eyebrow at Changbin who scoffed and returned to his office while muttering about his misfortunes.

“Thank you for meeting me,” Felix said, and he guided them both to a pair of futons next to the windows.

“Well, I really missed you,” Thalia said, and Felix couldn’t stop his smile after hearing her sincere sentiment.

“The break is really hurting me,” Felix said. “I just want to be with you, Thalia, and I don’t want a past that doesn’t even belong to us get in the way.”

“I know,” Thalia agreed softly, and she finally leaned in to offer him a gentle kiss. “I guess this is our first test as a couple.”

“It won’t always be perfect,” Felix said. “But I feel like I’m willing to endure anything if it means being with you.”

Thalia giggled at his sweet words. “Let’s keep going, then, and see where this takes us.”

“I like the sound of that,” Felix agreed, and their next kiss was far more passionate - a solemn promise that cemented their status and invited a future full of endless possibilities.

[knjnvrland]

Prank Wars - ch. 2

> pairing | jungkook x reader

> word count | 2.5k

> genre | college!au, fluff, smut

> warnings | swearing, alcohol consumption

> synopsis | College can be a stressful time in anyone’s life as it is, why don’t we throw a little prank war in the mix to make it harder?

> fic masterlist

> A/N | English is not my first language, I’m sorry for the eventual spelling mistake, please let me know if you find any! 

CHAPTER 2 - Dying it Red

Getting past the embarrassment of your first day of classes, when everyone would stare at your stained clothes, the next couple of the weeks flew by fairly smooth. You made a few acquaintances in classes, which was enough for group projects and study dates, and found your way around campus with the help of your brothers and your brother’s friends. Your friends now, too. You had lunch with at least one of them every day and stopped by Jin’s cafe almost every morning for a free snack that your brother basically forced into you, using you as a guinea pig for the recipes he was trying. It was alarmingly easy to get into the new routine. 

“Then you press this button and wait for the light to turn green.” Alice was helping you out with your laundry, teaching you how to work the machines at the basement of the student's dorms. “Just be careful to be here when the timer is done, otherwise someone might take your clothes out and who would want another person’s hands in their underwear?” She played around when the harsh sound of the washing machine began, letting you know it was doing it’s job.

“Babe?” A male voice called, descending the last steps of the stairs, and you both turned around to face Yoongi with another boy trailing behind.

“Hey Yoongs, we were just finishing here.” Alice smiled warmly at her boyfriend. “Long time no see, Jungkook.” She then turned to the messy haired boy all dressed in black, walking to him and wrapping her hands around his waist. She probably couldn’t reach all the way around his neck, as her hugs usually went, because of how tall the boy was. “This is y/n, the Kim’s baby sister.” She stepped away and signaled to you, and that’s when you realized that this handsome guy in front of you was also the asshole that ruined your otherwise perfect first day.

“We actually met before.” You smiled with your lips tight together, trying to hide your annoyance. “He bumped into me on my first day here.” At that Alice let her mouth hung open, joining the dots in her head but not adding to the conversation.

“Really? I don’t remember you.” The boy looked confused, clearly being genuine on his lack of memory of the accident. Well, how could he remember you when he didn’t even had the decency to turn around and apologize that day. “Nice to meet you, anyway.” He smiled at you but you turned around, pretending to be entertained by the rotation of the washing machine.

Yoongi, sensing the tense atmosphere, wrapped his arm around his girlfriend’s shoulder. “If we don’t leave now we might miss the beginning of the film.”

“Are you coming y/n?” Alice asked.

“Nah, I have to wait for this to be finished and then I might drop by Joonie’s place, but thanks anyway.” Jungkook was already at the stairs again when you finished answering, not bothering to say goodbye at all. Alice noticed it and gave you a sympathetic smile, leaving with Yoongi behind the youngest boy.

“What an idiot.” You let out a sigh and pulled out your phone to text your sibling’s group chat about meeting up later, you might as well enjoy your Friday night with them somehow.

“That's cheating!” Taehyung yelled. “You can’t all team up against me!”

“Sorry Tae, y/n never played before, we’re just helping her out.” Namjoon explained, just as Jin killed Taehyung for the third time in a row.

Jin picked you up and you ended up at the boys' place. Jimin had a date and Hoseok was practicing late, so you and your brothers had the apartment all to yourselves. You ordered pizza and revived the old playstation 2 that was the center of so many fights between the three boys growing up. You were never a tomboy, in a house with so much testosterone, your mother made sure to keep you by her side, dressing you up in girly dresses and gifting you all the dolls you would ask. Don’t get it wrong, you could still beat Taehyung in a play fight any day, and had your fair share of scraped knees and quick trips to the hospital because you were playing a little bit too harsh trying to keep up with your older siblings, but videogames were never really your thing.

“She's fine! You don’t need to help her every time we play something new.” He whined, letting go of the controller to grab another slice of greasy muzzarela pizza. It was true, you were a fast learner and definitely didn’t need your brothers teaming up to help you out.

“But it’s funnier this way.” You stated, taking advantage and killing Taehyung once again when his guard was down because he was shoving the entire pizza into his mouth.

“Hey!” He complained with his mouth full. “That's it, I give up, you guys suck.”

“Don't be such a baby.” Jin shoved Taehyung’s shoulder with his own. “We'll play nice next round.”

“I’m not asking you to play nice, I’m asking you to play fair.” he pouted.

Namjoon patted Tae in the head. “It’s alright, we won’t count this one on the final score.”

“But I still won.” you gloated, finishing off Jin’s character on the game when they were all distracted and standing up to grab another soda from the kitchen.

“I trusted you!” The eldest shouted dramatically and you laughed to yourself, proud of your definitely-not-fair victory.

You brought back drinks for everyone as a way to say sorry, and you all settled, trying to choose another game to play next. Namjoon was distracted by his phone, texting someone non stop. Jin snatched the phone out of the other boy’s hand to read without permission, and both of them started wrestling on the ground for the device.

“Give it back!” Namjoon was on his side with his legs wrapped around Jin’s waist while Jin was laying on the ground, chest down with one of his arms pushing Namjoon’s face away and the other trying to keep the phone as far away as possible. You already knew what would happen next before Taehyung even made the first move to stand up, so you were prepared when the phone flew to your hands, being snatched by Tae from the pile of limbs tangled on the floor and thrown at you before he was pulled into the mess.

You scrolled through the texts in the open conversation and handed the phone back to Namjoon, who had given up and was on the floor, red faced and short of breath. 

“It's just a party.” You informed the other two.

“Who’s? Where? When?” Taehyung eagerly wanted to know.

“Some guy named Jackson? I don’t know, it sounds like it’s at a fraternity.” You answered, not really interested and just wanting to go back to the game.

“It’s at Delta Sigma.” Namjoon clarified. “It’s next weekend and it sounds like it’s going to be big, it’s their beginning of the school year party and they’re introducing their new boys to the world, I guess?”

“Oh, we’re definitely going.” Jin stated. “I went to a lot of their parties when Mark was still living there and it’s always legendary. Also, they have the best booze."

Namjoon went through the details while Jin sent a text to the group chat with the rest of your friend group to let them know and soon after everyone -even Yoongi- was in. You chose the next game and the four of you went back to playing and bickering as if you were still teenagers in your home’s living room.

“Can I borrow this earring?” Alice asked you, popping her head into the bathroom where you were doing your make up. You nodded and she disappeared again.

The party began an hour ago, but Yoongi was finishing his shift at the radio and he was your lift there, so the two of you could take your sweet time getting ready to go. The week went by fast and, apart from having to see Jungkook more now that he was settled into his new apartment and finally began hanging out with the rest of the group, you couldn’t complain. He still had no idea why you were always so cold with him, but made no effort to find out either, assuming you were just a little bit closed off. He was also driving there with you, taking advantage of Yoongi’s promise of sobriety and the fact that they lived in the same building, and you had made up your mind that, by the end of the night, you would make him apologize to you for ruining your favorite shirt and the perfect planned first impressions you intended on making on your classmates.

Just as you were finishing applying your lipstick, Alice’s phone rang and she letted you know that Yoongi was waiting downstairs, so you grabbed your phone, handed your keys to your roomate, letting her responsible for it, and walked out the door.

The ride there was quiet, Jungkook ended up going earlier with the rest of the boys and only needed Yoongi as a ride back home later, so you didn’t have to sit through the uncomfortable silence that would've settled if he was on the back sit with you. When you got there you could tell people were already wasted. You spotted Hobi right away, he was chugging down god knows how much beer at once and being cheered on by a group of people around him. Yoongi left to find Namjoon and tell him about some new project and Alice made her way to where the alcohol was with you trailing behind her. 

Jimin was there with a group of people, mostly girls and, of course, Jungkook. Alice said hi to them and you waved, not really wanting to introduce yourself to the strangers in the group and specially not very keen on getting another step closer to the boy who spilled his coffee on you and never apologized. Did I mention he never apologized? Because he never did. What an asshole. Jimin handed you a shot and you poured it down your throat without even asking what it was. You were not really a big party person, and the only way to get through it was getting shit faced drunk, and that’s what you were planning on doing.

You spent most of your time dancing with Jimin and Alice, or by the kitchen filling your cup. You bumped into your brothers but honestly, you were not really into the idea of seeing them make out with random people or embarrass you with their drunk dancing, so you kept your distance. You would bump into Jungkook every now and then as well, and Alice had to keep you from going up to him and making a scene. You just wanted him to apologize, really, but you were not sure you could let him know that without calling him a few names you thought suited him much better then ‘Jungkook’ before.

It was just a second that Alice turned around to look for her boyfriend and you were already gone from her sigh. You were a little bit tipsy, sure, but you could get a drink by yourself without your friend constantly by your side. On the way to the kitchen you even had a small conversation with a handsome stranger with light eyes and dreamy lips that you were sure would not have happened if you had Alice with you. You were looking for another beer, just to drown your nerves a little bit and go find that godlike creature again, when you spotted Jungkook. There was a girl standing by your side with a tall red cup filled with god knows what and you didn’t think twice before gabbing it and throwing it. Your aim must have been a little off though, because instead of hitting your target, the splash of alcohol landed on the person beside him, who just happened to be your brother.

“Y/n what the fuck?!” Taehyung turned around to find you frozen in place looking as guilty as ever. The group of people around them took a step back from the mess and Jungkook started laughing hysterically.

“Sorry Tae that wasn’t for you.” The words barely audible over the loud noise of people talking around you. You had no idea what had gotten into you and could feel your face getting warm. “I was aiming at Jungkook.” 

At that the other boy stopped his laughter and looked offended at you. “What? Why?”

“Because you should learn some manners, asshole!” You couldn’t hold back you annoyance even though you knew you were overreacting, but the alcohol in your blood took control of your ability to filter your words and you would rather have people think you were red because of anger then because of shame. Taehyung started to laugh then, not really understanding what was happening, but amused seeing you argue with someone that wasn’t him for once.

“What have I ever done to you?” Jungkook was just as confused as your brother.

Before you could answer and give him a little bit of your mind, Alice and Namjoon walked in and found the absolute mess you had made. See, the drink you threw was a dark shade of red, and the kitchen had white tiles and white cabinets all around that were now all tainted a lovely shade of pink, as was your brother’s bleached hair and light clothes.

“Dude what happened?” Namjoon was the first to speak, but Tae just waved him off, finding the situation more funny then anything else. He could get back at you later anyway, and growing up with you gave him the ability to read you better then anyone else, so the act you were putting to sound tough didn’t mean a thing to him and he was enjoying seeing how far you would go to hide you embarrassment.

“Maybe I should take y/n home.” Alice stated, grabbing the empty cup from your hand and leaving it on the counter, as if disarming you of a powerful weapon. She then passed her arm through your waist and led you to the door. You could only follow along, unable to react when you fully realized what just happened.

Finding Yoongi was easy, he was on his way to the kitchen and met you halfway, not needing any explanation before following the both of you to his car. The drive home was silent, apart from some underground rap song playing from Yoongi’s sound system and Alice calling a friend of hers who was at the party to see if they could give Jungkook a ride home later. You laughed to yourself, remembering the boy's face when he realized the target was him, and that alone made it worth it. The fact that you stole his ride back was just a plus to the situation. He was a handsome boy, you couldn’t deny it, so wiping that bunny smile from his face gave you more pleasure than you were able to put into words. You would have stopped there, honestly, but deep down you knew that what took place at the party was just the beginning.

> A/N | It /really/ starts here, I guess. Have a nice day, wherever and whoever you are :)

TAGLIST IS OPEN

[deardumbdiary]

I don’t exactly know where to start even though people usually start from the beginning, but that doesn’t really make sense to me because the beginning is all just a jumbled up mess, I guess once I start writing it will all just flow through my fingertips and onto the page and I’ll try my best not to make this sound anything like a book because that’s not what this is, this is my life and I need to be honest with myself and write exactly who I am and how things happened in my own words. I guess to start off with I’ll explain that I have 4 siblings to which I did grow up with, although my father was never in the picture for nearly all that I remember but my mother was and always has been, on and off between me cutting her in and out of my life (you’ll understand later) Most of my memories start back in a small three bedroom house in a quiet suburb of town, of course before this I do remember some small things, but nothing that amount to where I am today, but the house we lived in was definitely overcrowded with five to six people living in it (My mum, me, my sister, my brother, my other brother and my other sister as well as my mum’s boyfriend who is also the other kids dad but not mine.) I always thought highly of my family because mum always had told me that we were special and that everyone loved us kids and we could make friends with anyone, I always thought this to be true even though I was always bullied in any school I went to, to which I never understood why until about a year or so ago. I never liked going to school, our family was never organized, homework was never handed in because it was never done, I never read my reader at home, I was never on time. Mum and I would always argue in the morning about me getting up for school, to which I would only get up an hour and a half later and only because I had the blankets pulled off me, I never really faked being sick because usually if I kept up the fight long enough I would win and would be allowed to stay home, sometimes for days on end or when mum didn’t have enough money to supply our school lunches or the petrol to drive us there.

The house was always messy and I don’t mean your normal messy, I mean everything that shouldn’t be on the floor was on the floor messy, dirty dishes, food scraps, kids toys, dirty clothes; our laundry was piled high with washing that hadn’t ever been done and to top this off, we had a new dog nearly every year, either because the last one died, ran away or mum gave it up because she couldn’t look after it. I tried so much to keep the house clean but there was just no point in the end, I got tired of it and no one cared anyway. Mum had depression really bad and was constantly in bed on her phone or sleeping, but this would all change when my mums boyfriend was around, the house would become semi clean, but mums attitude would become quite angry towards us kids, she would say such things as;

“You kids don’t do anything, clean up this pigsty”.

I could never understand it though, the house was so bad all of the time and she never did anything about it, she never washed dishes or mopped floors, but expected all of us kids to clean up when she wanted us to and if we didn’t we would be threatened with our toys being thrown out. We were only kids and we were only following what our mother did all the time, which was nothing.

As well as having to deal with all that, we all had nits for years, with nothing done about it. But more on that later.

One night when I was 8 years old, I was really sick with Bronchial Spasms (kind of like asthma but instead it’s an infection of the lungs) I was laying on the couch and I rolled over to which I looked at the asthma spacer sitting on the table and through the spacer I could see a white silhouette of a little girl standing in the door of the hallway, I have always been spiritual even back then, I was always interested in the paranormal and quite frequently was dabbling in things I shouldn’t have been, anyway, I studied this figure for a little bit thinking I was just seeing things to which then the spacer fell and the little girl was still there, I screamed and rolled over, my mother came racing out asking if I was okay, I told her what I had seen but she said I was just imagining it. I believed her for a little while until a few weeks later when this little girl started coming into my room and sitting on the end of my bed, I was terrified at that point to sleep in my room, I quite often would sleep in the lounge room or my mums bed which in turn resulted in arguments and fights between mum and I, sometimes I would be forced to sleep in my room which I hated and eventually during the night I would end up in the lounge room anyway. One night while I was asleep on the lounge room floor, I awoke for no reason at all, I sat up and looked around wondering why I was awake and then I seen it or should I say her, standing in behind the curtain of the sliding door, I didn’t think much of it and for some reason I was not afraid, I thought maybe it was my sister so I went to go over there and push the body shaped bulge in the curtain, but as I did, she ran from behind the curtain and there was nothing there at all. This kind of stuff went on for years, regardless of whether I paid attention to it or not, she was always there, mum just thought it was anxiety so had in me in at counselling. I would tell them what I would see, but to no avail could they help me but neither did mum believe me. So I was stuck, forced to deal with this girl who terrified the absolute crap out of me.

Maybe if I had of told them of the troubles at home that they could help, but I often felt embarrassed even thinking about telling them, but I also felt like what I was dealing with at home was partially normal because I didn’t know any different. Eventually I started to come out of my shell in later times but mum didn’t like it, she didn’t like people knowing so I stayed quiet.

Now, while living in this house, I always cared about my mum so when she asked me to make her a coffee or some food I would do so because no one else was around to do it but also because I believed it was the right thing to do, she worked hard at keeping the roof over our head, she did a lot for us; taking us to school and back home, giving birth to me, I never said no to her unless I really didn’t want to do it, to which then she would plead me to by saying “Oh come on, please, you make good coffees”, so off I would go to the kitchen and make her the coffee or food she asked for. I remember one time though, she wanted toast and I really didn’t want to make it, but I did it anyway, she wanted Vegemite toast, so into the kitchen I went, unfortunately for her I burnt the toast, but fortunately for me I used it as a lazy technique to make her think there was Vegemite on it... It worked until she bit into it.. Which she didn’t really have a problem with because I still made her toast. Then at age 11 after my youngest brother was born there came nappy changes and bottle making, I hated it, I just for once wanted to be a kid and do kid things.. But I never stood up to her, I never said no. In between caring for my mum and brothers and sister I was also arguing and physically fighting with my sister, 7 and brother 4 over things like The Playstation, toys and who hit who first. Which then over time became arguments between me and my mum over whether or not I was going to school that day because I never wanted to go.

Every morning I would be yelled at to get out of bed, I never understood why it was so hard for me just to get up, I wanted to go to school, I liked school, but the motivation to go to school just wasn’t there, I guess I didn’t really want to deal with it or anything that awaited me.

I guess all of this was just the beginning because in the next post everything gets ramped up to about a 10.

In the next post I’ll be going through the cycle of my mums boyfriend, learning about sex and masturbation, the big highschool “lie” as people like to call it and so much more.

Make sure to follow my page to keep up to date!

But until then, thanks for reading! ☺️

[banduckoot]

Why I Like Radical’s Crash Bandicoot Games: A History

I know the general consensus for Radical Entertainment's Crash games isn't terribly positive. However, I own CTTR, Titans, and MoM, played them to completion, and I can safely say I quite enjoyed them all. In fact, I think the flack Radical gets is rather unnecessary.

A bit of backstory: I was a 90's kid who was terrified of video games until I turned 12, not to mention I was a Nintendo nut during my early years, so I didn't exactly grow up with Crash. My half-sisters had a Playstation, and the first Crash game, but no memory card, so what little original Crash I did play, I could never get very far. The game was hard even back then.

Fast forward to my early 20′s, when my friend @cammiluna became obsessed with both Twinsanity and CTTR. She loved Cortex and Nina in particular, and would draw a bunch of humorous fan arts and comics of the Crash characters based on the humor of Twinsanity and CTTR. Sadly, all that art she made can no longer be found because all the Crash purists - the ones who despised Radical’s work - wouldn’t stop making negative comments on deviantART and the like about how much “new Crash” sucked, and she got sick of their shit, so she took it all down.

Meanwhile, all of Cammi’s art led me to picking up CTTR, and Titans, and MoM. CTTR wasn’t the best racing game I’d played; I was heavily spoiled by Mario Kart. While the clashing mechanic was awesome, it was clear to me that the game was somewhat rushed and unfinished. The music was also a bit sub-par. However, I did enjoy the characters and the story; they made me laugh and smile. My only complaint about those two things were (A) Crunch being a Mr. T knockoff and not much else, and (B) Willy Wumpacheeks being such a weak twist villain.

Crash of the Titans threw me off at first because of the drastic character design changes, and it was shocking that they’d turn the game into a beat-em-up. However, I was like, “I’ll give it a chance, it could be fun”, and I do not regret my decision at all. It was a lot easier for me to get into than Classic Crash, and beating the snot out of enemies was satisfying. Not to mention, getting to control large super-mutants made me feel powerful. I played the Wii version of the game, so using the Wii-mote was a lot of fun! I loved the designs of the Titans, and was having fun coming up with headcanons about these new mojo mutations. Not to mention, I found the character portrayals in the game hilarious, Cortex and N. Gin especially.

Mind Over Mutant held the same positives for me as Titans, but I suppose as much as I enjoyed the cutscenes, the constant shifting art styles between them did throw me off. There seemed to be no real reason for them doing it; they just did that because they could. But the story and characters entertained me all the same. And beating shit up was as fun as ever. Not to mention, getting to see N. Brio’s return, and voiced by Maurice LaMarche of all people, made me so giddy! (I’m a huge Pinky and The Brain fan, plus Mr. LaMarche’s work in general makes me happy.)

I think what I enjoyed most about all of Radical’s games were the credits. All those names, with messages for their friends and family members spoken by the game’s characters. It made the games feel like it was made by real people with feelings and hearts, and not just spat out by some random company. Which, as you can imagine, made things more heartwrenching when I found out Radical’s employees got fired.

Cammi would later tell me (multiple times) that she spoke with the director of the Crash Radical games, and found out that had the series been allowed to continue under them, they would have brought Tawna back, as well as other old characters. They had a story plan set up, and now we’ll never get to see it. Granted, we did end up getting N. Sane Trilogy and CTR: Nitro Fueled years later, but personally, I still really want to know what happened to Cortex after he retreated into space in his underwear with that random sandwich-eating Znu.

[quonit37]

somebody on DEVIETART tagged me for one of those ask games. I had no IDEA you could do that. I’m gonna put it on Tumblr instead because idk how devietart works despite having used it for 2 years.

Questions they sent me:

1. Your favourite fruit?

I’m pretty good with most fruit. I like granny smith apples, a bunch of berries, really standard stuff. 2. What is your favourite memory?

I have some pretty good ones I think. It’s hard to judge them though because a lot of ‘good’ memories I have weren't just my happiest moments but just stuff that brought me good things later. For example ‘OH so not everyone draws? weird. so apparently I'm an artist.” I’ll just go with that one.

3. Favourite gaming platform? (For example, Laptop, Playstation, xBox, etc.)

PC/Computer. If that doesn't count then the Wii.

“WHAT TF WHY THE WII???”

See I had one while growing up and it was a hacked Wii we got off craigslist (I still have it!) so it had nearly EVERY game that was ever released on the Wii (And two different emulators so also everything on the NES and I think it was gameboy? I forgot) and also had a looooot of movies on it. It is the console that brought me the most joy has a kid. 4. If you could be one character from any game or tv show for a day, who would you be?

If I can’t be my own self insert hmm... that’s a good question. I’m gonna limit this question more to it HAS to be a fictional character from a trademarked/copyrighted property instead of somebody’s OC. And I’m still not sure. Because sure there are characters I LIKE but the ones I like the most all are grounded characters with struggles n shit but if I were to swap bodies with one of them for a day then I’d rather do a character with power and stuff for a day because it’s supposed to be fun. 5. What would your life as an anime be like? Would you be a protagonist, or an antagonist? Or maybe even just a neutral character?

I already made the anime and it’s called Gaynote. To answer the question, I’m the protagonist on it. 6. Do you agree that toes should be called foot fingers? XD

No not really. 7. Do you have any siblings?

Two. I’m the oldest. I have a little brother and a little sister. The sister is the youngest. 8. Do you prefer drawing your own art to put up or buying posters?

I have a wall next to my bed of art I’ve drawn. Every year I redraw some of the art on it so that you can flip through the pages on the wall to see progress. The posters I put up though aren’t posters they are prints I bought from artists I like. 9. Who is your favourite celebrity?

I really couldn’t give two shits about who’s famous. Uhhh Zarla the person who made Handplates because she’s a great person, and inspired my art a lot. 10. Music or youtube?

I don’t think I even have accounts on stuff like spotify. I use youtube instead. I don’t use my phone enough at all to make purchasing Youtube Red or whatever the fuck they changed it’s name to. So yeah youtube I have a few playlists on songs on there. 11. How do you think time travel works? What is the law behind it for you?

Not exactly how I think it works in real life but I like the idea of not being apple to change what’s happened. If you go back in time and change something you just cause what happened to happen. You always went back in time. You were actually there in that part of history. 12. What is bound to make you cry every time?

This video. But only because of my headcanons. I cry about fictional stuff RARELY but that video, despite me not even speaking the language and there being no translations available, really reminded me of why those characters are so sad and why I like them. 13. SMASH OR PASS: Frisk from undertale (lmao sorry, I couldn't think of anything else)

Depends on the au lol. I’m demiromatic/sexual so I actually cannot be attracted to somebody unless they’ve been my friend for like 5 years and I absolutely know them that well. If it’s original frisk undertale uh lol why tf is the bby flirting at me aaaa undertale is broken I need to record this.

@this-is-an-error is being tagged. For the last question, I’ll put Error sans there instead lol.

[andersonswalsh]

Fic: Déjà Vu

Written for @todaydreambelieversfic’s Fic Exchange. My recipient this year is @black-john-lennon. And let me just say every prompt Kay gave was HILARIOUS! But this is what I went with: "Blame It on the Alcohol part 2. One morning Blaine goes to wake up their daughter. She's in the bathroom, there's a boy in her bed who wakes up and says 'where am I'."

Rated T, 3550 words. Link to AO3.

Blaine is suspicious the moment he walks into his house. Usually he arrives home from NYU to plenty of noise courtesy of his eight-year-old twins. But there is no evidence of Caden or Nolan, let alone their older sisters.

“Cade? Nolan?” he calls out as he unwraps his scarf and peels off his coat. “Anyone home?”

It isn’t until he enters the kitchen to get a bottle of water that he hears footsteps bounding down the staircase. “Hi, Daddy!” Sabrina says cheerfully, pecking Blaine on the cheek. “How was your day?”

Blaine eyes her up and down. “It was well until a few moments ago. What are you wanting now?”

Sabrina feigns surprise--her facial expressions have always been a carbon copy of Rachel’s. “Whatever do you mean?”

“Your brothers aren’t down here fighting each other or attempting to kill the other on their Playstation. Either they actually are dead and  you buried their bodies hoping Dad and I wouldn’t find out, or you convinced them to do their homework to get something out of me.”

“Why do you assume it’s me and not Stella?” she asks, taking an apple out of the fruit bowl.

“Because she’s the good child.” As Sabrina takes a bite, Blaine scrunches his nose. “Ew, wash that first.”

Sabrina huffs at his request, but she passes around Blaine to rinse the fruit. “Fine. I convinced them to do their homework before you came home.”

Blaine hops up onto the stool perched in front of the island. “And what exactly are you looking to get out of this?” he asks.

“I was hoping you could extend my curfew tonight?”

He sighs. “Sabrina…”

“Please Daddy? Lily turns sixteen tomorrow and she’s having her party tonight. Her parents are taking her out to the Hamptons in the morning so that’s the only reason why I’m not staying over. Just until 1? I promise I’ll be home then and will do whatever you want me to this weekend.”

He knows why she’s asking him. At sixteen Sabrina is every bit an Anderson, and she’s used it to her advantage from the moment she realized Blaine is her biological father. Except for Rachel’s chocolate eyes and prominent nose, she is the spitting image of him with Cooper’s (and yes, Rachel’s) lust for getting what he wants. If the question was raised to Kurt he would put his foot down and remind her that she’s to be home at 11.

Sabrina then sweetens the deal. “I’ll clean the kitchen for the next week.”

Blaine eyes her warily. “When your brothers are on spring break and prone to make every mess imaginable?”

“And I’ll babysit one night so you and Dad can go out,” she adds.

He finally relents. “Okay, but only until midnight since that’s when the city’s curfew is. And no complaining when I take advantage of the last addendum.”

“That’s fine,” Sabrina says as she pulls Blaine into a hug. “Thanks Daddy!”

It’s an easy evening with Stella and the twins. Blaine decides to order some pizza and put on a couple Disney movies. Stella rolls her eyes but watches along as Moana travels the ocean. He’s so invested in everything that he almost misses Sabrina slipping out the door to the party. “Bye Daddy!” she calls out.

“Bye Sab--wait, come back here.” When Blaine looks up he’s horrified. Sabrina is dressed in the smallest denim shorts she owns, ripped leggings underneath, and a tight black tank top that shows off too much of her belly. “Are you serious with that outfit right now?”

Sabrina rolls her eyes. “What more do you want? I have everything that needs covered up clothed. It’s not like I’m going in just a bra and panties.”

“I know, and I appreciate that. It’s just a little cold for that, isn’t it?”

“I’m walking three blocks. I’m going to have my jacket on for the entire walk. After that I’m pretty sure the Ortiz’s house won’t be set up like the Arctic.” She leans down to put on her Doc Martens that sit in the foyer. “I shouldn’t have to rely on your approval for what I choose to wear when I’m stuck in a uniform five days a week.”

“When you’re under eighteen I think you do…”

“It’s a high school party.  I’m not wearing it to a Broadway show, or to Grandma and Grandpa’s house. You can’t tell me you and Dad--well, Dad alone, I guess,” she smirks, “didn’t wear whatever you wanted that may not have lived up to the elders’ expectations?”

Blaine sighs. “I feel like I should be offended.”

Sabrina reaches up to pat Blaine’s bow tie. “Daddy, you’re forty and you’ve always dressed like you’re seventy-five. But I know that Dad wore a kilt to your first prom. Was Grandpa okay with that?”

“How did…”

“Rachel has pictures of it. Something about savoring a night to remember despite the circumstances?”

Blaine finally relents. “Okay, you’re right. I’m sorry. Have a good night, sweetie.”

She grins and grabs her jacket. “Love you!” she says before she exits through the front door. Blaine pads over to the window to watch her disappear down the street.

He doesn’t think about what happened again until Kurt comes home and accidentally wakes him up. “Oh, sorry,” Kurt whispers.

“S’ok,” Blaine mumbles. “How was it tonight?”

“Pretty good. Audra McDonald and her kids were in the audience tonight.”

“I hate you.”

Kurt kisses him on the forehead. “Hey, you’re the one who gave up theater to be home with Sabrina.”

“Please don’t remind me when you’re meeting Broadway royalty,” Blaine says. He then notices it’s after 12:30. “Shit.”

“What?” Kurt asks.

“Did you notice if Sabrina was home? I gave her an extra hour on her curfew.”

“Why’d you do that?”

“Lily’s sweet sixteen party.” Blaine shifts onto his other side to face Kurt, who is undressing.

“And you weren’t waiting at the door for her?”

“I came to bed after I put the boys down. It was long day at work.”

Kurt pulls a t-shirt and flannel pants out of the dresser. “You poor thing. But to put you out of your misery, she is home. I saw her door was closed.”

Blaine sighs in relief and collapses against the pillow. “Good.”

“I do wish, however, that you had asked me before you agreed. I’m still the kids’ father even if I’m not here as much as you.”

“Sorry,” Blaine says. “It was a last minute thing and I figured at that point you were on your way to the theater.”

“It’s okay.” Kurt climbs into bed and snakes his left arm across Blaine’s midsection. “I probably would have agreed with you if it’s a one-time extension.”

“It was. And I reduced it from her original suggestion of coming home at 1.”

“Father of the year,” Kurt jokes. “Any plans for the morning?”

Blaine snuggles into the warm body of his husband, closing his eyes. “Waffles and bacon?”

“Sounds good,” Kurt says. He sweetly kisses Blaine. “Love you.”

“Love you too,” Blaine replies before he drifts off.

There are few rules in the Anderson-Hummel household. Blaine never wanted the kids to grow up feeling like they had to be “on” every single moment the way he was at home. They have their chores, they have to do their homework, but other than that everything is lax and free.

Except for Saturday morning breakfast.

That’s the time for the family to be together. A good home-cooked breakfast before Kurt heads off to the theater, before soccer games and ballet recitals, and before Blaine loses himself in grading papers or checking his classes’ online discussions gives him a sense of gratitude. Since the Friday night dinners Kurt grew up with wouldn’t work with Broadway, it was a tradition they started the weekend after they brought Sabrina home from the hospital. Even if Kurt has to travel for fashion shows he almost always makes sure he can get a Friday night flight so he can be there.

Blaine finishes setting the butter, syrup, and sugar on the table before glancing into the family room. Caden and Nolan are watching the latest popular cartoon he can’t seem to understand and Stella is playing a game on her iPad. There’s no sign of Sabrina anywhere. “Did you wake Sabrina up?” he asks Kurt.

“I texted her twenty minutes ago,” Kurt replies as he flips the waffle maker over.

“Should I make sure she’s alive?”

“Good idea.”

Blaine shuffles through the kitchen and family room to the stairs, taking them slower than he did when they first moved into the house as age begins to catch up. Even if he’s only just into his forties, Blaine feels it in his knees after chasing four children for the past seventeen years. He’s halfway grateful he didn’t return to the stage after Sabrina was born or he’d probably feel worse.

When he reaches her closed door he gives a swift rap on it. “Sweetheart? Breakfast is almost ready. Dad made waffles.” She doesn’t answer, so he knocks again. “Sabrina, wake up,” he says louder.

Blaine hears nothing. He gives in and turns the door handle, peeking in. The lump under the blankets isn’t stirring. While Sabrina is a typical teenager who prefers to sleep in as much as possible, it isn’t usually this difficult to get her up for Saturday morning breakfast. As long as she makes it downstairs she’s allowed to sleep in on Sundays. He pads over to her bed and shakes her shoulder. “Honey, it’s time to get up,” he pleads.

A low groan meets his ears as the lump stirs. It confuses Blaine. “Are you okay?” he asks.

Hands reach up to the top of the purple comforter to pull it down and Blaine is met with a shock of short, electric blue hair. Green eyes meet his and widen. “Oh my god, where am I?” the owner of said hair and eyes asks in a voice that matches the groan from before.

Blaine’s jaw drops as he realizes--it’s a boy. A boy who, as he cringes while sitting up, is obviously hungover. And this scenario is all too familiar to Blaine as he’s hit with memories. Memories of being this boy, of feeling the after effects of the Rachel Berry House Party Trainwreck Extravaganza, of being woken up by a startled Burt who was expecting Kurt to be in bed.

He backs up and hits something in the doorway, knocking him to the floor. “Daddy, are you okay?” Sabrina asks as she helps Blaine up.

He just looks at her, already showered and dressed. Through clenched teeth he replies, “Breakfast is ready. Your friend can stay to eat, but then he has to leave.” Blaine then walks out, leaving Sabrina’s questions behind.

Blaine is shaking as he makes his way downstairs and back to the kitchen. “Kurtthere’saboy,” he hisses.

Kurt stares at him. “Excuse me?”

He takes a couple breaths to soothe his nerves. “Sabrina has a boy. In her room.”

The spatula falls from Kurt’s hand, clanging on the linoleum. “Excuse me?” Kurt shrieks.

“I know!” Blaine says, bewildered. “And get this--he’s hungover.”

Kurt snickers. “What?” Blaine asks.

“Don’t you think this sounds a little familiar?”

“You don’t think that was my first thought?”

“Hopefully there isn’t a sexual identity crisis involved…” Blaine shoves his husband in response. “Hey, kidding!” Kurt jokes.

They’re interrupted by the clearing of a throat. “I’m so sorry, Mr. Anderson-Hummel,” the boy says, looking marginally better than when Blaine found him. “Sabrina was going to wake me up an hour ago to go home but I didn’t sleep well.”

“It’s fine,” Blaine replies, not wanting to give the boy any feeling of compassion. “We’ve all been there at some point. But I don’t think I remember Sabrina talking about you at all?”

“Oh, sorry. I’m Jack Wyatt.” Jack holds out his hand.

Blaine takes it. “Nice to meet you, Jack. We’re having waffles and bacon if you want to have a seat at the table.”

“Sorry, I can’t have waffles unless they’re gluten free.”

“Will scrambled eggs work?”

Jack nods. “That’s fine.”

As soon as he leaves to sit at the dining room table Kurt glares at Blaine. “He’s staying for breakfast?”

“Did you want me to throw him out right away?” Blaine asks.

“I guess not. I mean, Dad didn’t throw you out when he found you.”

“See? What Would Burt Hummel Do works very well in this situation. Besides, I want to torture Sabrina a little before we ground her.”

Kurt smirks. “What do you mean ‘we’? I have to leave in an hour.”

“I have to do this by myself?” Blaine whines.

“What Would Burt Hummel Do?”

He grabs two plates. “I hate you.”

It turns out Jack is an extremely good kid. He makes an effort to engage all of the kids in conversation (Nolan especially loves his hair and Kurt has to tell him he can’t dye his until he’s in his thirties), he wants to study computer engineering in college, and he’s in a band that does covers of early millennium music, which makes Blaine feel old. Kurt offers to drive him home on his way into the city but Jack refuses, citing that he doesn’t want to take advantage of everything they offer when they weren’t expecting him.

After Blaine convinces Stella to take the twins to the park for a couple hours, Sabrina attempts to hide in her room. “Not so fast,” Blaine stops her.

“Come on, Daddy,” she whines.

“Nope, I said we were going to talk.” He leads her into the living room where she flops onto the couch, crossing her arms across her chest. He sits next on the other end, turned facing her. “Sabrina,” he starts, “in what world did you think it was okay to do what you did?”

She shrugs. “I was being nice. He--”

“I don’t care if you were being nice. You’re too young to have a guy in your room.”

“Seriously? That’s the route you’re taking? You and Dad started dating when you were my age.”

“But we didn’t spend the night.”

“Bullshit,” she spits out.

“Sabrina Ariane!” Blaine barks.

Sabrina curls up tighter. “Sorry.”

“The point I’m making is that Jack shouldn’t have spent the night, especially when we’d never met him before. You’re too young for anything that would necessitate him even seeing your room…”

“Okay, see, I know you’re lying now because Dad told me when we had the sex talk that you two did it when you were a junior--not that I ever wanted to know about your sex life. Besides, we’re just friends. I don’t think he sees me like that.”

“You don’t?”

“His girlfriend dumped him last night,” Sabrina says, staring intently at her chipping nail polish. “And he got a little too into the vodka after that. I wasn’t about to let him drive home, so I brought him here. I figured if the same thing happened to you you’d go out of your way for a friend, right?”

Blaine reluctantly nods. “Can I tell you a story? Without any judgment?”

“Sure.”

“When Jack popped his head out of the covers I actually was hit with a sense of déjà

vu, because I’ve been in the same position before.”

“You mean you brought a guy friend home when he was drunk?”

“Your dad brought a very drunk me home and Grandpa Hummel found me in bed.”

Sabrina’s jaw drops open before she starts laughing. “You have got to be kidding me,” she says through fits. “At least you didn’t get drunk because of a girl though.”

It’s Blaine’s turn to hesitate. “Actually…”

“What?” she screeches.

“Long story short he invited me to my first New Directions party, I had a little too much to drink, and I ended up in a spin the bottle game where I made out with one of his closest female friends.”

“Daddy!”

“I know,” Blaine sighs. “My great questioning phase happened after I came out. I’m an awful gay. And it pissed your dad off so much.”

“How’d you get over it?”

“I kissed her again--sober. And felt nothing.”

Sabrina take Blaine’s hand in hers. “Well I’m glad you straightened yourself out, pun intended.” She squeezes it and drops it to get off the couch. “I’m going to Kylie’s, okay?”

“What? No, not okay.” Blaine runs to the door to block it. “We haven’t discussed your punishment yet.”

“Daddy…”

“You’re grounded for the weekend. I should do longer but it’s spring break. Just promise me no more alcohol and no more boys in your room.”

“Daddy, I didn’t drink last night,” Sabrina protests.

“But you were at a party where it was served,” Blaine says. “And Jack was proof of that.”

Sabrina rolls her eyes. “Fine. No alcohol.”

“And no boys in your room.”

“Even if Jack and I have an English project after the break?”

Blaine nods. “I can’t control what happens up there.”

“Daddy, we’re just friends. We kissed a few times last year and that was it. No feelings.”

The way Sabrina fidgets as she says it makes Blaine know that isn’t the end of her feelings for Jack, and that he’ll likely be in the picture for a while. “Still, any work you do will be down here. Promise?”

She nods. “Promise.”

Blaine kisses her forehead. “Okay. Now go text Kylie before I take your phone.”

She takes her phone out of her pocket to fire the text off, then hands it over.

Blaine isn’t surprised to find Jack sprawled across the carpet when he comes home from work a few weeks later. As soon as spring break ended Sabrina made plans for their project and reiterated them to her dads. “Hey,” Blaine says as he takes her blazer off.

“Hi Daddy,” Sabrina replies, her eyes focused on the English book in her lap.

After checking on the other three and greeting Kurt he finally settles in his office with the door open. Before long there’s a knock on the door. “Excuse me, Mr. Anderson-Hummel?”

Blaine turns around in his chair. “You can call me Blaine, Jack. I know our last names are a bit of a mouthful together.”

Jack grins sheepishly. “My mom would probably disown me if I did that,” he says.

“Country club kid, huh?”

“Upper East Side. Let’s just say when I visit my grandparents I have to wear a wig,” Jack replies, pointing to his now aqua-hued locks. “But I wanted to thank you for your hospitality that morning. I can imagine it was a little awkward finding someone you’ve never met in your kid’s bed, especially after a night of drinking.”

Stifling a laugh, Blaine smiles. “It’s quite an experience.”

“You’re an incredible dad. If mine had found Abby--my ex, that’s her name--or even Sabrina they wouldn’t even have time to grab anything they brought before he threw them out. He thinks because I’m the youngest I need to be more sheltered than my siblings.”

Blaine is floored for a moment. That’s essentially how his own father treated him compared to Cooper, up until he came out. “Thank you, Jack,” he says. “I hate to hear about that though, because from what little I know about you you’re a great kid.”

“I also want to tell you that--well, I like Sabrina.”

Jack stares at Blaine in hopes of a reaction. “Okay?”

“And I would like your permission to take her to the movies on Friday night.”

Blaine inhales deeply. “Didn’t you just get out of a relationship?” he asks.

“We dated for two months,” Jack says. “It wasn’t serious. And I’ve always had a bit of a crush on Sabrina. Or something. It just came full-force after I got home.”

Blaine feels like he’s staring at his own doppelganger in Jack. Granted, it took him slightly longer after the drunken Rachel shenanigans to figure out his feelings for Kurt. “Her curfew is eleven,” he says. “And she’s been talking about going to that reboot of The Breakfast Club.”

“Awesome,” Jack smiles. “Thank you so much!”

“You’re welcome. I trust you with her, you know.”

“I won’t break your trust,” Jack says before he returns to the living room.

Blaine’s barely signed into NYU’s course site when Kurt comes in and leans on the desk. “So when should we start worrying about wedding invitations?”

He groans and drops his head on the desk. “Can we at least get through their inevitable first breakup?”

“As long as it’s only one and they don’t elope.” Kurt rubs his thumb across the back of Blaine’s neck. “I may not have planned our wedding, but I’ll be damned if I’m not allowed creative control over our little girl’s.”

“That may be enough for them to elope,” Blaine jokes.

Kurt huffs. “Fine. God, when did she grow up?”

“Some time in the past seventeen years.” He lifts his head up and stares at his husband. “And it’s only going to get worse with the other three.”

“We’ll make it,” Kurt says. “Just like we make it through everything. Just do me a favor?”

“Hmm?” Blaine hums.

“Don’t tell Jack about your proposal. That cannot be topped.”

[k1ll-ur-vibe]

hey! thanks for visiting my blog.

i’m jade, i’m 20 years old and i live in south wales in the uk. my pronouns are she/her and i am bisexual. i’m single.

i love music, writing, body modification, bdsm, gaming, tv shows, genealogy, true crime and rugby. my favourite music genre is pop-punk and my favourite band is all time low. i love atl to death, they have helped me so much and saved my life. their music means the fucking world to me and i can’t even express just how much i love them. i own multiple copies of their CDs, DVDs and vinyls, and a shit ton of merch. i have seen them 9 times and met them 3 times. they’ve also noticed me a bunch of times and some of the guys have started recognising me at this point which is really cool. i’ve loved them for nearly 7 years and they are such an integral part of my personality and life at this point, it’s unreal. <3 if you’re friends with me, you’re gonna hear about atl every single day and you need to accept that.

other than pop-punk, i love all different genres and have a very varied music taste. some artists other than atl that i love are simple creatures, busted, lights, little mix, mcfly, the maine, marianas trench, jojo, ed sheeran, demi lovato, breathe carolina, cupcakke and hayley kiyoko.

i write songs, play guitar, bass and drums, sing, read music and am experienced in in-studio and live sound engineering. music is my life, it’s what i live and breathe. i currently work in events staff, helping put on concerts and rugby matches which are 2 of the things i love the most.

i write stories online and have had some pretty popular fics before. i write both fan fiction and own universe stories and i take part in nanowrimo every year. most of my stories will go up on quotev and/or mibba. you can view my profiles on those websites here and here. you can view my nanowrimo profile here.

through writing fan fiction, i have met friends who have made my life so much better and become my family. i met 2 of my best friends, dominique and alexandria, on quotev and i wouldn’t change them for the world. <3 i’m finally meeting dominique in march but unfortunately, alexandria and i still have to wait a little longer. but we’ll get there, i know we will. :) i’ve known both of these girls for nearly 7 years and i just love them so much. <3 i can’t wait to finally break the distance with my sisters. :)

i love body modification. i currently have 3 tattoos and pierced ears but i want so, so much more. i currently want 24 more tattoos plus an entire sleeve, 10 more piercings and stretched ears. all the tattoos i have currently are atl related (therapy and skull tattoos on my left arm, plus atl’s signatures on my upper back) and i love them so much. however, the next tattoo i intend to get is non-atl related but i still have plenty more atl-related stuff to get done, including the sleeve (it will be based on my fave album, nothing personal’s artwork). :)

i am highly into bdsm and am a submissive. before the tumblr purge, i had a bdsm blog but now, since i’ve had to delete it, anything that i can get away with will be posted here. some of my kinks include bondage, pain, torture, degradation and humiliation, dd/lg and watersports. i’ve struggled with my sexuality a lot over the years and part of that has been a struggle with accepting that i’m kinky. but i refuse to let it bother me anymore. i am into bdsm and if people don’t like it, that’s their problem. i will be posting bdsm-related things on this blog so if you’re not into that, please don’t follow me. however, i will try my best to tag everything as both bdsm and nsfw so if you are able to block those tags in any way and still want to follow me, please feel free to do so. :)

i love video games and my favourite games are the gta games (my faves are prob gta san andreas and gta5. however, i am currently making my way through gta4 as i didn’t get to play it when it initially came out). i also love tony hawk, sonic, pokemon and the sims. i am currently an xbox player but love playstation and nintendo too. i have fond memories of the gamecube and the ps2 growing up. i’m hoping to play red dead redemption 2 and undertale soon. i think they look awesome and have watched many let’s plays on them. currently playing: gta4, ts4 and pokemon white.

i love tv shows and some of my favourites are the goldbergs, brooklyn nine nine, how i met your mother, friends, stranger things, you, big mouth and the good place. i mostly netflix binge but sometimes will watch live. the only problem is things take a lot longer to come to the uk from the us haha. i used to be a huge fan of sci-fi and i used to blog a lot about supernatural, doctor who and sherlock but have drifted far away from that now (although i still love misha collins and ship destiel/cockles lmao). so if you see one of my old posts, know that i’m not like that anymore. i definitely prefer sitcoms these days but still love a good drama. :)

i love genealogy and have been creating my own family tree since 2015. my 3 favourite genealogy-related tv shows are who do you think you are? (uk version), heir hunters, and long lost family. i love finding out about my family history and what made me, me really. i get that it’s a super nerdy thing to be into but quite frankly, i don’t care haha.

i’m super interested in true crime and the psychology surrounding it. eleanor neale is my favourite youtuber but a close second is georgia marie. i also love buzzfeed unsolved, both true crime and supernatural editions. i frequently binge true crime docu-series on netflix and i really want to study psychology at some point. i just think it’s so fascinating to think about what must have to break in someone’s brain to make them so violent and/or evil.

being welsh, i of course adore rugby. and of course, i root for wales. the venue i work at is the home venue for wales and it makes me so proud. i would love to meet one of the team one day, probably leigh halfpenny specifically. i feel that rugby is just so much better than football and the fanbases tend to be way more accepting of each other. and the game is way more fun to watch. but unfortunately, i don’t think i’ll ever be strong or brave enough to actually play it haha.

i unfortunately struggle with a few illnesses that can sometimes make life a daily battle but i get through it. i have polycystic ovarian syndrome (pcos), which causes irregular periods, cysts on the ovaries, rapid weight gain and difficulty losing weight, hirsutism, male-pattern balding, acne and infertility. i have pretty much every symptom (but i haven’t tried getting pregnant yet so i don’t know about infertility) and it is hell. i also suffer with a few mental illnesses; depression, social anxiety disorder and OCD. i used to self-harm but am now over 5 years clean and i also have attempted suicide in the past but am thankfully not suicidal right now. i take 40 mg fluoxetine daily to manage my mental illnesses and i also see a support worker to help me get out more and build my confidence. i’ve been through both child and adult therapy services in the past. anyone who’s reading this and is struggling too, please stay strong. <3 i promise there are better days out there for you.

i hope you enjoy looking at my blog and that you give me a follow if you want! bye, peeps. <3

[thelovelytwentythree]

It’s Been a Long Time, Oops..

I shouldn’t have left you.

HA, just kidding.

But forreal, I feel left. Lonely really, like I forgot myself in a way too. Let me first start off by saying staying sober fucking sucks. It’s difficult, irritating, and just fucking sucks.

I just really need to vent about sad I am.

*SIDENOTE* I hate that I never “write” when I’m happy, or any emotion besides sad/hurt. I think I just get so caught up in how good the emotion feels I just wanna bask in it and never let it go....but at the same time, wouldn’t writing make that memory and the emotions that go with it stick around longer ? I don’t know, I just don't make any sense to myself sometimes man.

Anyway, I’m sad. I’m gonna try to make this quick because I feel like I just need to go to church and get some shit off my chest. Top things that grind my gears and make my days a little gloomy are my husband, my family, not having real friends, heightened feelings of depression/anxiety. 

1.) My husband is a 14 year old boy trapped as a married 24 year old man with children. I say that because I’ve never came across a 24 year old that is as immature and disrespectful as him. It hurts to my core how he treats me. I have regrets marrying him and I want to leave, but I always think about “who would want me?”. “We can make it work as years go on and as we get to know each other better”, “He’ll grow up, just be patient”, “Stay and pray”. But it gets so hard, I feel so broken on the inside. 

2.) My sister seems like she doesn’t want much to do with me. I know I can be a burden and my life is super complicated, but sometimes all I want is my sister. All I want is to escape the chaos and have fun with her. I miss her so much. Ever since I started being vocal to her about problems within my marriage everything slowly began to change between us. She became my only friend, I was beginning to grow a relationship with her. Something I’ve wanted for so many years, but I guess I have to keep wishing at the rate we’re going.

Then my brother doesn’t care for me like I thought he did. I wish he could be there for me. It really makes me miss Sam, (even though he was homeless and an addict, I love him). He was always there, ALWAYS. I miss him so much. I just wanna hear his voice, talk to him one more time. 

3.) I just wish I had real friends. Friends that I can count on for literally anything. Friends that don’t fake. That is definitely my fault though. I’ve burned bridges with some good people, I wish I could take it all back.

Lastly..

4.) With everything going on in my life, it’s just made my anxiety worse. And when I thought I would never deal with depression, it came creeping back. My husband gaslights me constantly and makes me feel like my feelings are invalid. I’m constantly told by him that I’m just sensitive and delusional. I wish I had the resources to properly deal with it, but with limited money and no health insurance it feels almost impossible. I just want to get out of this pit. 

So there it is just pushing and praying for better days. 

*SIDENOTE* I need to really dissect these issues later... maybe? Only if I have weed or alcohol around. Ha, so basically never ...? 

Anyway, my husband has no sense of boundaries, (I was sitting alone in the living room with music writing, crying. He doesn’t speak, just walks over me to turn his PlayStation and start playing online. I can’t speak up because he gets mad.) I just get sooo tired of being the only one who is accommodating and considerate in this relationship. 

.......this...this is what makes me slowly die on the inside. 

[hell-howling-a-blog]

2 to 4 please!

Video Game Asks - Accepting.

2. Most nostalgic game?

Probably Ape Escape for the Sony Playstation.  The Playstation was my most memorable console as a kid I had growing up - I have very fleeting memories of a Sega Genesis but that was more of my sister’s than mine.  The Playstation was the first console that ever really felt like it was ‘mine’ if you know what I mean.  Ape Escape never had a super deep story or gameplay - basically, the premise is that this professor invents these helmets that can give the wearers super intelligence.  One of these white apes in a zoo gets his hands on one and decides to lead an ape revolution by equipping all of his followers with helmets and using the professor’s time machine to go back in time and essentially make it an ape dominant world.  

As the protagonist, your job is to go back in time and capture all of the apes using a variety of gadgets you unlock over the course of the game such as a sword to stun them, a slingshot to stun them or hit things with or a net to catch them.  The only way to beat a level is to catch the required amount of apes - so four, for example.  There are some you can’t catch right away until you’ve unlocked certain gadgets.  The worlds are usually split into three levels - so for example, you might be going through three straight levels in the arctic and then go to the beach for the next world.  

The camera is pretty primitive being the Playstation and all but it doesn’t hinder you - there’s a fair degree of platforming involved but it’s just something you have to pick up as you go along.  I never had a problem with it personally.  Sometimes you got to use a bit of problem solving to catch certain apes but I never felt as though it was too challenging or too much.  It’s by far the game I played the most and it has a damn good soundtrack.

3. Game that deserves a sequel?

I was always pretty sad that Pokemon Ranger just kind of stopped at Guardian Signs - I think it was also set in Gen IV much like the previous game, Shadow of Almia? I was always kind of disappointed by that because I wanted to see some new Gen V Pokemon and then afterward, Pokemon just kind of stopped making the Ranger games.  I don’t know how smoothly a transition to 3D would have gone for the Ranger franchise - still, they could have kept it 2D.  I mean, they found a way to bring the Pokemon Mystery Dungeon games to the 3DS, I’m just a bit sad that Pokemon Ranger has been kind of forgotten about.  I keep holding out hope that Nintendo might announce a new 3DS game for it or one for the Switch, possibly.

Also, Pokemon Conquest - I love the element of strategy to it and it was a unique premise for a Pokemon game.  Honestly feels way too short in my opinion and it’s the first Pokemon game in a long time that offered a genuine challenge for me.  Hope it gets a sequel but sadly, Nintendo seems to have forgotten about it as well.

4. Game that deserves a remaster?

Really any of the more forgotten Final Fantasy games.  I find it weird that they seemed to be remaking the early ones for DS/PSP and abruptly stopped just before V and VI.  I mean, technically they do have GBA ports - or at the very least I know that VI does.  Final Fantasy V also feels like a game that’s been kind of forgotten which is sad because the villain, Exdeath, is one of my favorites.

Also, Final Fantasy VIII and Final Fantasy IX.  I know there’a a lot of hype for the VII remake and I personally hope that they might consider remastering the latter two Playstation games.  I honestly enjoy Final Fantasy VIII - I know it’s considered a black sheep and a lot of people really dislike it but I sympathize with the game, personally - it came after Final Fantasy VII which was pretty much a video game phenomenon - it was either going to be so much better or so much worse in the eyes of the fans.  Final Fantasy VII set a high bar for a lot of people and I think Final Fantasy VIII was kind of unlucky in the sense that it followed after a massively successful game.  Personally, I couldn’t care less about the Junction system or Triple Triad - some people rail on those a lot - I find them kind of annoying but not unbearable.  I think it offers a unique challenge and I enjoy the game.

Also, Final Fantasy IX is just an awesome game in general and deserves a remaster.  I know that V technically has a ‘remake’ for the io but I don’t really count the io games as remakes or remasters.  I personally just don’t see the appeal in mobile gaming.

[some-bastard-who-likes-goats]

Okay so I’ve reorganized...again...for the 5th time this week...heh heh.

Originally all my manga was in the left section, the middle had my tablet and sketch books in it while the right contained all of my games but I changed it around.

First

Put all of my Nintendo games in the left section

I know it looks a little plain over in the wii section but I should get Twilight Princess tomorrow, which will be displayed like how BOTW is and will go behind Ganondorf

Second

My manga went in the middle shelf, all organized in abc order, apparently I own a lot of mangas starting with ‘d’

Also here’s what’s behind the second row in front

My manga is only here temporarily I’m eventually going to get a bookshelf to store them and my legos

Third

PlayStation games

The mask was originally on top of the PS4 stack but I realized a couple of minutes later that it would probably fall and break if the floor shook even a little.

So yeah I have a thing for organizing it really relives my anxiety.

But there’s is one problem with this set up...I don’t have enough room on my tv stand or in my tv stand to fit my PS3 and PS4, their so fuckin bulky

Look at this

This is my old PS2 skinny and slim can fit anywhere same with the wii. But then again I understand they have to fit more shit into the consoles nowadays.

God the childhood memories from this old thing along with the Wii. It’s weird that my little sister will grow up with the Switch and PS4/PS5 being what the Wii and PS 2 were for me, kinda messes with my head.

I felt really old one time because a GameStop employee called Wii Sports “Retro”.

I remember when everyone wanted a Wii, and even within my town almost everyone owned a Wii and loved the console. But now I find that people are surprised when I mention I still own a Wii.

[r95irth]

Since you are in writting mood and I REALLY love how you write, let's go for some angst. Satoru having mixed feelings when he found out that Todomomo are going to have their first born (a.k.a the @akeemi-life's twins 'Cus they're adorable) He's like "Yay! I'll be a big brother" but also something like "Oh no! A biological child, What if they love him/her more than me!? What if they forget me!?" Something like that would be interesting

Sorry for the delay, I went to bed andonly found this ask when I woke up. It was great though, really helped me getout of the bed! (which is really hard for me, I have to take like twentyminutes every morning just to gather the courage to get out of the comfy bed, Ilike sleep too much xD) So thank you for your prompt =D

I’m glad you like myworks, I’m indeed in writing mood so don’t hesitate =D So, here we go someangst about Satoru finding out he’s going to be a big brother ! (of Akeemi’sadorable twins) :

Satoru had been restless since themorning. He could feel something was wrong with Momo and Shouto for a while.They kept being happy, then worried, then happy again, then even more worried.He could feel it through their bonds, thanks to his power. Sure, if he wanted,he might have used his quirk to get into their heads and learn what put them insuch state, but…He would rather avoid that. Shinshou, his teacher, made sure hecould control his ability to avoid that kind of intimacy violation. It wasn’t alife-or-death situation, he knew that much. He supposed that if it wasimportant, they would tell him rather sooner than later, without him using hispower to get the truth out of them. Maybe they were just stressed. And so wasSatoru.

That’s probably why, when he got a callfrom Shouto on a tuesday evening, he dropped everything he was doing to reachhis phone. Shouto’s voice was his usual one, and it took forever to exchangethe usual « how are you, how was your day ? » So Satoru decidedto be blunt :

-Okay what’s wrong? I could feelsomething was up with you since i woke up today.

That shut Shouto down for a few seconds.Then he sighted and mumbled:

-Your power is as accurate as ever.

He wasn’t angry, nor sad, it was Shouto’sspeciality ; cold constat.  

-We got to the hospital today –everythingis fine, he quickly added before Satoru could panic-Momo is pregnant, he toldhim.

Sometimes brains worked funny, the firstthought that Satoru had was ; wellall i had to do was to leave for them to have kids, i suppose i really did getin the way ; before anything else. It hurt before he was happy. Thesecond thought was as good as the first one, it was ; Will she be able to keep it this time ? 

So he swallowed hard and tried to reasonhimself to say :

-That’s a great news, congratulations !

-Do you want to talk to Momo ?Shouto asked, and Satoru could hear that he was smiling. He was really happy. I should be happy too, i want baby brothersand sisters, i want Momo and Shouto to be happy. Why am i scared? It’s not themoment to be selfish, they have enough on their plates already !

-No, it’s okay, she probably needs torest. Tell her congrats. Do you already know if it’s a boy or a girl ?

-No it’s too soon, the only reason we  already know is because she follows ascheduled treatment. We’ll have to wait until she’s four months.

-How will that go for work ?

-She decided not to go on field, andstick to managing Peace office until the risk of miscarriage is over.

Satoru could feel Shouto’s relief likeit was his own. They both feared that Momo would be stubborn and insist onstill doing her usual heroes works. Of course it was out of question for her tostop, but there were other ways to beheroes, other duty to fulfill that could prevent her from getting hurt and losethe baby like the last time. He tried to stay positive and confident. This timethere was no reason anything could go wrong, right ?

Exceptthat now they’re gonna have their own baby, where does that leave me ?

He felt a bit cornered, as he realizedthe truth : there was no room left. Quite litteraly. In the flat they werecurrently living at, there was no spare room.  

-Once they’re born, they can take myroom, he said.

-What ?

-Well there is no other room in theflat, and i’m at the dorm right now so i don’t need it, so you can turn in intoa nursery, i don’t mind.

-This is your room Satoru, commentedShouto, and he could almost see him frown.

Satoru didn’t know if the irritation hefelt was Shouto’s or his own.  

-But i’m not using it.

-It’s still yours.

Satoru bit his lips nervously, and hedidn’t know if the way his heart hurt was because he was sad or moved. He didthought that it was stupid to keep his room not-available. But he was glad thatsomehow, Shouto was not replacing him with his natural kids.

-How are you gonna do it ? You’llneed a room for them.

-They can sleep with us when they’restill baby.

-That’s just delaying the problem.

-Well, i suppose we could move away, buti would rather stay here, it’s close to Peace office and your school. And thereis all our memories in there.

There was a sound in the background, andSatoru recognized Momo’s voice.

-She says that the neighboor next to usis moving, explained Shouto-So maybe we can find a way to get their appartmenttoo and turn everything into a big home. We’ll see, we still have time forthat.

Satoru wasn’t so sure. If everythingwent well, they would be parents before Satoru graduated his second year at UA.Babies would be there in no time. Will ibe able to see them when they’re born ? It will be right during exams, right ?Even before that, he would not be there to help Momo, or Shouto. He wasgoing to miss so many changes in their lives ! Would his home still be thesame when he came back ?

Satoru never thought he would be thekind to fear changes, before, not after everything that happened, not after thebiggest change in his life brought him so much happiness. But he couldn’t helpbut worry.

-I…i’m super happy for both of you, herepeated, trying to force happiness on him, trying to make this feelingoverwhelm every other ones he was feeling right now.

Shouto promised to call back and keephim informed about everything. They shared their goodnight wishes, and hung up.He let out a sight he didn’t know he was holding, and stared at the ceiling.Not able to analyze his own thoughts.

Thiswas a good thing, right ? (You wanted to be a big borther, youasked them that countless times, you can’t have a change of heart now !) Shouto and Momo really wanted this, theytried to have a baby for a year now. (They never planned to have you intheir lives in the first place, you’re the one that is not wanted.) Maybe i should step out. (You’re oldenough now, you can use high school as a excuse to get away, then go towhatever college to leave them alone and have the life they deserve with theirreal children) I had five good years,with wonderful parents, this is enough, right ? It was more than i couldever hope for.

-Seems like someone i shaving anexistencial crisis.

Satoru was starled, as Takashi satbeside him on the couch, still playing on his playstation vita. He seemed sofocused on it that Satoru almost thought he had heard wrong, but then Takashisaid again :

-Sorry i heard your conversation. Fromwhat i understood your parents are going to have a baby ?

Satoru bit his lips and nodded.

-It’s okay to be scared, it doesn’t makeyou selfish to want to keep your parents to yourself.

Satoru stared at Takashi, with wideeyes. It was not the boy’s quirk to read mind, but his own. How could hepintpoint his problems so easily ? Was he that obvious ? Again, as ifTakashi read his mind, he said :

-You’re adopted. No need to confirm, idid my research on everyone in our classes. Your case was kind of famous whenit happened. It was all over the internet.

He put down his console and turned toSatoru ;

-It’s the usual way for adopted child tofeel like they don’t belong when they get a sibling. It’s totally normal. Hell,even real siblings feel that way sometimes. So don’t wory about it. Just thinkabout it the other ay around : your parents choose you, they didn’t need a child when they had you, but they still got you. They won’t know what theirfuture baby will be like, they don’t know them yet, they will have to get toknow them, to love them.

-They will love them as soon as he isborn, whatever they’re like, contested Satoru. (Because that was true, hecouldn’t imagine any other way, he was sure that Momo and Shouto already lovedthe baby so much, even though, at this point he was only a puddles of cells)

-Debatable, commented Takashi. –Not allparents have maternal instinct. But that’s another thing. The thing is youearned your parents’ love, when natural children don’t, you won it. It’s a bigadvantage. You’re not an intruder Satoru, and you’re not replacable. Familygrows and adapts.

-How do you know that ?

He fought back the tears that wereforming in his eyes. No way he was going to cry. There was no reason for it :Takashi’s words were sweet and comforting, Shouto and Momo were happy, and hewas going to be a big bro ? There was absolutely no reason to cry. A tearstill managed to roll on his cheek. But Takashi acted as if he didn’t see it.

-I’m from a composite family. And i reada lot of psychology books. Now if you’ll excuse me…I think your annoying bestfriend is coming near. I will take my game away from her before she rewrite itby accident again.

The couch was indeed starting to buzz,among other furniture. That was Mahô’s doing, she must had been arriving, andher excitement was spreading all around her. Takashi took back his console andleft, not before adding :

-This is movie night, right ? Ithink i will bring Lilo and Stitch to watch. It’s an interesting movie youshould watch.

Mahô was here in a matter of secondslater, reeking with sweats. She jumped on him, screaming « Super smellyattack ! » and then proceeded to tickle him to death. For the firsttime in the day, he let out a real laugh. Suddenly, as if all he needed to dowas that, he felt happy. He felt impatient. He felt like meeting the babyalready.

-I’m going to be a big bro, he said toMahô, as she was trying to lift him.

She dropped him on the floor, with starsin her eyes :

-Really ? Awesome ! I’m sureyou’re gonna be the best big bro ever ! And i have a lot of big bro, soyou can trust me on this ! Now tell me, tell me !

And he told her.

[actualltr4sh]

alright its time for another of these

1. describe yourself. i’m 5′4. i’m goofy when i feel like it. i’m pretty sarcastic or condescending depending on the mood of the receiver. i’m smart, but not on paper. i’m creative. and i’m a hot young ebony. *finger guns* 

2. if you could go anywhere for a week all expenses paid where would it be? antigua & barbuda. it’s where my dad is from and i neeeeed to be an island girl for like two seconds pls.

3. do you have siblings? 4 sisters 1 brother.

4. what is your favorite constellation, why? do not have.

5. favorite color. black.

6. what kind of music do you listen to? i like R&B, early 2000′s or that shit that’s pretty mainstream but everybody swear is lowkey (SZA, Kelela, Daniel Caesar, whoever idk). i like pop punk or alternative a lot too. florence & the machine saved me. or modern baseball, the front bottoms. whatever.

7. favorite flower. (you can name as many as you want cause flowers are awesome) i like roses. i literally have one one my arm so.

8. if you could do magic, what is the first spell you would learn? probably an invisibility spell. it seems simple and like the first thing you should do lol.

9. favorite childhood memory. wow i’ve never thought about this. there was this one christmas where they let me open all my gifts at 12. i got my nintendo DS that year and i remember hearing ‘you are my rock’ by beyonce for the first time.

10. have you ever been cheated on? ish. it sucked. he broke my heart lol.

11. if you could describe your perfect room, what would it be? it’s currently my living room. it’s really cool. actually it’d be more perfect if there was more shit on the wall. but it’s a couch and a playstation and a big tv. it’s lit.

12. favorite animal. owls. ravens. crows. i’m terrified of birds though lmao.

13. what was the last photo you took of? a board in a classroom for this project.

14. do you believe in soul mates? absolutely. i’ve had the pleasure of meeting a few.

15. do you hang toilet paper over or under? i let that shit do what it do.

16. your go to place to eat & your favorite thing to get there. i love texas roadhouse but i try something new whenever i go. chilis i get cajun chicken pasta though. no tomatoes cus i’m not a crazy person.

17. do you believe everything happens for a reason? sometimes. i do think shit just be happening though.

18. guilty pressures? what?

19. favorite mythical creature, why? witches. although i want to believe they’re real. cus they be changing shit. and shit be needing change.

20. something most people don’t know about you. i can’t drive. i’m like a C+ driver lmfao. like we won’t DIE but i’m not who you suggest to do it.

21. where did you grow up, what was it like? detroit. straight as hell. coney slaps lmfao.

22. do you believe aliens exist? that would be narcissistic of me as a human to think that we are the ONLY species to exist.

23. what was your last google search? “how to poop better.” i bullshit you not LMFAOOOOO.

24. what did your last relationship teach you? BITCH. it taught me what i needed in a relationship. what i didn’t need. to put my healing first before anyone else. that love does not always conquer all. to never put a significant other before a friend. to give myself the same love & forgiveness i would forgive anyone else. bitch, i got nothing but lessons lmao.

25. would you relocate for love? i would do anything for love with my dumbass.

26. do you hold grudges or forgive easy? i forgive, not easy, but i forgive. i also don’t hold grudges, but i don’t forget.

27. favorite book. many. eleanor & park is a easy one to say though. i’d have to think forreal. 

28. do you consider yourself an extrovert or introvert? bitch i am introverted as hell. i go days without speaking to people lol.

29. have you ever kept a journal, do you now? i have kept a diary/journal religiously since i was 5.

30. top 5 favorite movies. paid in full, bring it on, halloween, stepbrothers, horrible bosses.

31. do you believe that everything happens for a reason?: didn’t i already answer this? sometimes, nigga.

32. what is your greatest fear? falling in the oven. or never being happy.

33. favorite alcoholic beverage. crown royal vanilla. or anything. i’m that friend lmao.

34. most embarrassing thing you’ve done. be born probably.

35. do you believe in ghosts? all of that.

36. what is the best and worst part of your personality? i make a joke out of everything. the good shit, the bad shit. i’m making fun of it.

37. should you split the dinner bill? if y’all struggling, sure. if you feel like it, sure. money doesn’t matter to me honestly idc lmfao.

38. are you a good liar? ish. i try not to tbh because i don’t really know if i can pull it off lol.

39. what keeps you up at night? i be knocked out forreal LMFAO but anxiety. if i’m not asleep i’m panicking. about.. anything.

40. would you rather go without your phone or music? i truly only use my phone for music. give me an ipod i swear i’d be good.

41. do you believe in god? i believe so. i think so. maybe. yes. i’m the worst christian LMFAO

42. how do you relax when frustrated? i don’t. i have anxiety. jk. ish. lmfaooo. i shower. i write. i watch tv. i sleep. i cook.

43. what’s something that offends you? hearing people talk about mental illnesses in a way that doesn’t accurately depict the experience.

44. favorite food nachOOOOOS

45. if you were on a 10 hour flight and could sit and talk to any person the entire time, who would it be? my ex :/ he was really my best friend LMAO

46. when do you feel the most confident? lowkey, when i’m naked. i got abs and my titties sit. lmfaoooo

47. what do you do on your free time? sleep or watch tv or write.

48. is there anyone who has completely lost your respect i be looking at people differently but i don’t think i don’t respect anyone.

49. have you ever broken someone’s heart? doubtful.

50. did/do you play sports in school? yeah lol i cheered and did gymnastics.

51. when are you happiest? writing or escaping with a tv show.

52. coffee or tea? CAFFEINE ME PLS!

53. what is one possession you own you wouldn’t want to live without? as of late, my camera. i love my baby.

54. what is the first thing you notice about a person? idk. haven’t met anybody new lately.

55. what is your favorite season, why? spring or fall. spring is rainy, fall is gloomy.

56. what makes you laugh? trauma.

57. are you a clean or messy person? messy normally, clean if i’m manic or suddenly tryna shape my shit up.

58. what is important for a successful relationship? COMMUNICATION.

59. what was your upcoming like? fine. rocky. confusing. okay i guess though.

60. favorite holiday? halloween :)

61. what is the first thing you’d do if you won the lottery? pay off my all my debt. student. medical bills. all of it. i don’t wanna owe shit.

62. what’s the best pizza topping combination? bacon and ham is all i get.

63. favorite outdoor activity. going back inside, the fuck lmfaoooo.

64. how are you? honestly. i’m drunk right now so.

65. would you rather go camping in the woods or stay at a beach resort? i hate outside in general. but beaches. less bugs.

66. what is the most beautiful thing in nature? the sun/moon.

67. favorite type of candy? sour patches watermelon or swedish fish or carmello chocolate bars.

68. if your life was a book, what would be the title? ‘pieces in print’

69. what movie quotes do you use of a regular bases? oh god, do i use any?the first thing i thought of was “cha feel? cha definitely feel.” from 21 jumpstreet and i rarely even say that lol.

70. what was cool when you were young but not cool now? webkinz.

71. what’s the craziest conversation you have ever eves dropped on? i don’t remember her words exactly but something about fucking a monkey my freshman year of highschool.

72. what’s the most interesting documentary you’ve ever watched? they’re all pretty interesting. that abducted in plain sight shit was DUMB tho.

73. what’s the worst hairstyle you’ve had? bangs in the 7th grade like anybody lmao.

74. what do you like to cook? all of it. i love cooking!

75. what’s the coolest animal you’ve seen in the wild? ...in the wild? i saw a rat in the street once.

76. what’s the funniest tv show you’ve ever seen?: bitch this is hard. schitts creek. arrested development. the office. misfits. idk tv is funny as hell.

77. do you usually follow your heart or your head? both. once someone told me i made calculated risks and i will never forget it. if i want to do something i WILL do it. but before i do it i think about the best, worst, and most realistic case scenario lmao.

78. what is your favorite quote? “if you are neutral in times of oppresion you have chosen the side of the oppressor.”

79. what’s the weirdest crush you have ever had? my after school teacher in 5th grade. he actually reminds me of jim halpert now that i think about it. makes sense.

80. what’s your love language? quality time and words of affirmation. so literally hang out with me and tell me you love me.

81. do you ever feel alone? yeah. this time last year was the worst of it. i don’t feel like that too much anymore though.

82. ever been bullied? yes nigga. shit sucks.

83. are you usually early or late? on time or late. i can’t be early for the life of me you asking for too much lmfao.

84. what kind of art do you enjoy most? writing. poetry. stories. you know.

85. what do you wish you knew more about? myself.

[spideyswebhead]

Writing 7 Prompts For 15 Minutes

I thought of publishing these here for my writing class.

We were given 10 prompts to write to for 15 minutes everyday, here’s what I wrote for that week.

Something I’ll remember when this quarantine is over

The nights I spend time with my friends and family, talking about literally anything on our minds and just going off.

I was never good at communicating and making sure to talk to people, especially through text message, and I definitely still need to get better with texting and checking in with my older siblings who are away from me at this time.

But being stuck in this house with my little sister and parents is making me get closer to my younger sister, both of us having to be there for each other as she deals with school and missing school, and helping my mom around the house as she still goes out there and help other families take care of their children.

I’ll remember the nights I was curled up in my chair, a Christmas blanket I got on Christmas - green with snow and snowmen - wrapped around me to keep warm in my cold room. Lou, my little sister, sitting on my bed as she fills pages of paper to put paper hearts for her friend's birthday.

We were both watching Grey’s Anatomy, occasionally we would make comments and jokes on the ridiculously things that’ll happen or they’ll say, but sitting quietly until 1 in the morning. Lou finally noticing the time, finishing up filling the jar she had been placing the hearts in, saying sorry for losing track of time and we both exchange our good nights before we both go to bed.

Even though I was exhausted the next morning from waking up so late, I still enjoyed that time of spending time with my little sister. We never spent much time before this quarantine just for the fact we are both in different stages in our lives, and we’re completely different people.

Lou needs to be around people all the time, go to events for her school, and be out of the house to explore the world and have fun creating memories.

While there’s me who enjoys spending time at home, writing my little projects or making art pieces, spending time on social media and talking with friends about fandom stuff, and enjoy cuddling with my dog.

I’ll remember the nights of talking with my friend Charna on PlayStation, watching her play some kind of game, be it “Dead By Daylight” or “The Last Of Us,” and just talking about literally anything. Sometimes we’ll just be talking on PlayStation and be playing separate games all together. Her playing “The Witcher” games while I played the Marvel Spider-Man game, occasionally making small talk or she’ll laugh at me being frustrated over Peter Parker getting stuck on walls or yelling “Fudge Cake!” As I make a mistake with a challenge. My way of cursing but not really.

-

What’s familiar to me about all of this

Is the many movies, shows, even books who touch on subjects like diseases, quarantine, and protest.

Except it feels like the author decided to take all these subjects and mash them together, take their readers for a whirlwind of emotions.

Looking back at subjects like quarantine and diseases is interesting, now knowing how people react when we’re under a type of threat we can’t see or even see coming. Usually people freak out and drive everywhere and hoard things that would make sense, like food and water, but now I always look at the toilet paper in those kinds of scenes and it seems they haven’t been touched that much makes it seem unrealistic. Seeing how today people went insane and hoarded it to the point of fighting old women for one even though their carts are already full, seeing the worst of humanity as they work their their anxieties that tell them how to survive.

The racism that comes out of it when a sickness is attached to a race (like the Spanish Flu).

I’ve been spending time in quarantine listening to audio books and I have been reading “The Diviner’s” series, the second book dealing with a disease and racism. “Lair of Dreams,” one of the characters - Ling - being Chinese and living down in Chinatown in New York, a sickness more popular down there called “The Sleeping Sickness” where you don’t wake up from your deep sleep until you die.

Quarantine was everywhere, burning bodies and giving out curfews, and how Ling was targeted with racism to the point of being beaten by a group of college boys until a friend of Ling’s came over and helped her.

It made me feel terrible for Asian people that these things still happen when a disease gets attached to a race, but also keep my attention on movies where their surviving some kind of things, see what they grab now that COVID-19 has happened and we’ve been in Quarantine these past 3 months and see how the world has reacted. Positively or negative.

-

I don’t like to think too much about

Anxiety, I try to ignore it as much as I can when it comes creeping up in the back of my mind, whispering worries and dark thoughts. Catching me at the worst of times, like doing the dishes or trying to take my dog out for a walk.

Am I washing this dish right? If I lose my grip will it break and scatter glass everywhere? Is that man staring at me, is he going to follow me? Are those people going to respect social distancing and leave me and my dog alone? Am I doing this right?

Trying to go through my day without anxiety whispering in my ear and slowly getting louder is hard nowadays, with everything feeling so much bigger now with the pandemic and the movements happening. The grief of what’s happening making anxieties voice louder in the back of my mind and anxiety is freaking out more about everything.

But I know ignoring anxiety makes it worse, making it come back bigger and harder to pass the next time it comes around again. But yet I find myself being lured by anxieties worries and believing their words, following them more in the dark and not able to stop myself until I catch myself being engulfed by their worries. Then I have to remind myself to breathe and try to talk anxiety down.

Sometimes anxiety is hard to calm down when I talk back, way too wind up in a knot it’s hard to unravel them enough that I can undo the knot and we can both go on our merry way. Instead we both just end up crying in the darkness by ourselves, letting each wail out and stressful tears roll down and join the others in a puddle on my sheets.

But sometimes on those days I have to remind myself, crying is as important as talking back. Cause maybe Anxiety needs somebody there just to let out all that stress so we can go back to reality and thrive another day. Let those wails out and tears be able to roll instead of holding them in and having to deal with another bigger one. Especially if we’re in public and not able to find a place so nobody can bother us.

Those nights where I’ll indulge anxiety when they creep up I try to be there for them, let us both hold each other tight before I’ll take the first controlled breath and mumble to them “We’re okay, we got this and can go through another day, together.”

-

I love thinking about

The dream I had a couple days ago.

I’m an artist and writer, I love doing both and learning on being an artist and growing those skills have really helped my writing grow, finding more words to describe something and being able to see my characters or scenes in my head, be able to really see them and write them in those details. Sometimes able to bring them to life on page through drawing by just my words.

Back in May it was my Dad’s birthday and I had made this popcorn holder where I painted various things on there, Darth Vader and Kermit the Frog singing “Rainbow Connection.” I was so proud how it came out and was really excited to show it to him and see his reaction.

The day I gave it to him, shaking with anxiety for his reaction, and he looked at it, turning it in his hands as he looked over it and then the words were told to me, piercing through me and felt like he was ripping apart my heart.

“I don’t know why you think you’re a writer.”

I just stood there completely bewildered, not knowing what to say or expecting that at all, just tears beginning to roll down before anger started to swirl inside me as he continued talking telling me how my pieces and name should be in a museum when I see mine in bookstores and libraries.

Since then I’ve been having a hard time writing and doing art, only able to hear his voice in my head on how I should be doing Art and ignore this whole side of who I am, to the point I’d just start crying and get frustrated, not able to finish what I was doing.

While this was going on I went to bed one night, feeling frustrated as my father’s words echoed in my head and not able to shut off, I eventually was able to get myself to some sleep and felt myself drift off to dream.

It started out with my dad sitting in that chair with me standing over him, yelling every word I wanted to at him for even thinking to utter those words to me on not being a writer. I took the popcorn holder for him and held it tightly in my grasp as I looked at him with fiery eyes and said the following with venom dripping in my voice. “This is mine, not yours. I can do what I want with it.”

Then I woke up.

The feeling of relief and a giant weight slipping off my chest was intense. I felt like I came to the surface and could breathe again, my Dad’s words not echoing in my head anymore, the anger I had been feeling the past couple weeks disappearing finally.

Tears rolled down my cheeks as I couldn’t help but have the biggest smile on my face, the itch I felt to create a character or write a scene for my many projects returning.

-

This is the best time for me to work on my writing because

I finally have the time to sit down, write and develop my characters, finally get going with writing my first draft and create my stories. With Quarantine and staying inside I can give them my complete devoted attention.

Turn on that music to get myself in the mood for the scene, nice and indie pop for a nice fluffy scene or really intense hype up music if it’s a fight or intense scene I’ll need to write. Make myself some cozy to drink or eat and just make myself comfortable in my room as I just transfer myself to their world and move on with their story.

It sometimes feels like I’m Harold with his purple crayon, drawing various things as I go on my own little adventure, creating objects, little furry friends, or making little friends places to help with the adventure with such ease.

Sometimes I just stare at the dreaded white page as my mind feels like static, switching between topics. Sometimes it was about the project I was working on or it’ll be about a little dinosaur stuck in traffic as they tried to get home from a long day's work. Munching on whatever snack I had as I spiral.

Those days I will try to focus on filling the notebook I assigned to each of these stories with notes of various things, Characters facts, and develop more rules to magic systems or schools so they're somewhere for me to follow.

But those days I’m Harold with that purple crayon, feeling the itch to write them and just be drifted off in their story are days I love and they’ve been happening more since we’re in Quarantine I guess cause I feel like I can finally work on it while the world around me is paused in certain things. But those days I cherish and make sure to indulge myself in those days to fall in the story and just be wrapped in it as I let myself be swept away as I write.

-

The most comfortable thing for me right now is

Indulging in the things I used to love to do as I kid or would give me joy as we’re stuck in Quarantine, stuck in the house with my family after years of having it to myself, blast music and act like an idiot as I dance around while I do chores, try to teach my dog how to dance or snuggle him while we watch something.

But now stuck in the house with everyone I have to share everything and think of everyone, like if I’m bothering my Dad or if he’s on a phone call if I go downstairs since he uses the living room as his workplace right now, or my little sister if I’m making too much noise in my room since our walls are so thin and we can hear every little thing each of us say.

So one of the few joys I have is indulging in those things, especially with having Disney+ and Netflix returning “Avatar: The Last Airbender” and getting to binge that show while eating Oreo’s in my pajamas.

Sit in front of my mirror and explore ways I can do my makeup, adding a tiny star to my cheek or making the LGBTQ+ flags on them too.

Sometimes it’s hard to escape and ignore the world right now. Death, riots, and the choices this world makes that breaks my heart and makes me feel for people who are suffering. Trying to enjoy those things like a childhood show or watch gamers on YouTube be weird and play a game doesn’t work, I’ll find myself looking at Twitter or the news to see what is happening. Or try to figure out why Twitter is “Canceling” someone and seeing how much of a horrible person they were and how they hurt the people around them in some way.

Those days I try to turn off all electronics, plug my phone and set it across the room, as I curl up in my bed as I try to read the Percy Jackson series again or finish the Grisha series. Try not to tempt myself to watch or read anything on my phone that could cause me more pain and more in that dark place in my mind again.

Or if I can turn on YouTuber’s who just have fun with their friends while they play a game or do some weird thing, distract my mind and show how there are good people in this world. Watch video after video of their content and seeing how they make me laugh or bring light to a situation, even the good of a situation too sometimes.

I’ve been grateful for these comforts and being able to indulge myself in them at these times, show the goodness in this world and that feeling of nostalgia. Make me feel like a kid again.

-

When I think of Dream Kid, I think of

A small child, just a chaotic ball of energy, jumping off the walls and their diet consisting of all the candies they could eat.

Maybe it’s my younger self, when I had no filter or what was good storytelling or good art. Just wanting to know what kind of fun I could get from it or let their imagination run with the images of the story or what kind of story could be told with the art piece.

Dream Kid feels like the definition of ADHD/ADD, jumping from topic to topic with the snap of their fingers, whether that be a serious essay to one second wondering what kind of fluffy love story you could write involving two cactus. One second your writing peacefully, jamming out with some music or munching on some kind of snack, than one second you find yourself being transfixed with this rainbow contraption that switches shape before you realize it’s been 5 hours and you’ve stopped writing and lost your train of thought completely and forgot where the story was going completely. Same goes with writing with Dream Kid as you jump around and run around with them as you jot down the ideas, ignoring Logic as they scream at you how wrong this is with a sentence or you used “then” or “than” wrong and need to fix it immediately.

Compared to Logic who wants it perfect now, Dream Kid is the perfect person to tap into when you're just trying to have fun and get that idea now before it moves on into the void and you lose it forever. Until that idea returns at the worst of times, like late at night when you're trying to sleep, or stuck in traffic and not able to jot down the idea on time as the cars start to finally find a steady speed and move accordingly.

There’s a saying in the art community that makes me think of Dream Kid, the perfect little sentence that’ll explain Dream Kid exactly: “You must make it ugly first before you can make it beautiful.”

Dream Kid can help you put all those ideas now, making it as ugly as you can just so you know every point you need to make before they disappear into the void again, then bring in Logic to come fix all the ugly and make it beautiful so you and the reader can know what you're trying to say.

[star-wars-canon-blog]

An Introduction

When it comes to Star Wars, I grew up in a strange period of purgatory.  Unlike the kids of the 70’s and the 80’s, (the latter of which only comprising the first three years of my life), I have no memories of seeing any of the original films in theaters. But neither did I spend my golden years surrounded by the omnipresence that is Star Wars, like the children of today.  My earliest memories of Star Wars come from commercials for Micro Machines’ “Star Wars Action Sets,” or the odd clip featured on Muppet Babies. It wasn’t until I was nearing 7 years old that my father was prompted by the promotional sale of THX’s digitally remastered VHS release to buy these movies on a lark, and show them to my sister and I.

In later years, I would collect each and every one of these, in lieu of any of the Kenner line.  They imprinted on me, early.

Now, my father is not the ubergeek that I am. This was a guy who owns his own construction business, loves college football and was the quintessential jock, growing up. In my youngest years, I do recall him being a fan of Star Trek - The Next Generation, but aside from that, he didn’t, and still doesn’t, bear the trappings of what we would recognize as “nerd culture.”  And yet, even so, he had a sneaking suspicion that we might appreciate these movies. Little did he know he was creating a monster. My sister and I sat glued to the TV as we binged both A New Hope and Empire Strikes Back, periodically taking breaks to run upstairs from the TV room and re-enact our favorite scenes. For the record, I do remember the revelation of Vader’s true identity spoiled for me long before I ever saw the movie.

"Well, thank you, Mr. Blow-The-Picture-for-Me.”

Of course, the day after that was Sunday, which meant we were both returning to our Mother’s house, after spending the weekend with Dad.  My parents had divorced a few years prior, which meant that every other weekend we spent with my father, while the remainder of the time, we lived with her. This, of course, meant that it was going to be another two weeks before I got to figure out what happened in Return of the Jedi. It was agony. I couldn’t focus in school, (not that I was overly concerned with that, anyway), none of my friends had seen any of them, so I couldn’t even talk with them about that, and, of course, this was a time before the ubiquity of the internet, so looking up spoilers wasn’t even an option. After a few days, I begged and pleaded with my mom to take me to Blockbuster Video so that we could rent the third movie.  They didn’t have it.  Not that it was already on loan...they simply didn’t have a copy in stock.

And apparently, insisting my mother buy me ANOTHER copy of the trilogy was “unreasonable.”

Finally, the two weeks were up, and after a grueling two-hour car ride to Chatham County, North Carolina, I threw my copy of Return of the Jedi into the VCR and sat with my sister to watch.  It was pure catharsis. The fear, the anxiety, the uncertainty about the future that Luke must have felt between episodes V and VI was mirrored in my own grip of suspense, and when the Jedi finally returned, he did so with gusto.  To my relief, Luke did not end up killing his father, but instead, met a form of reconciliation. A realization that despite their differences, Luke and Anakin were more alike than perhaps either of them initially realized. It hit me very close to home. After all, if there was hope for Vader and Luke, perhaps there was hope for me and my father, as well.

My father and I’s relationship was complex, to say the least. As mentioned previously, we could not have been more different in terms of interests and hobbies. For that matter, we often found ourselves butting heads more often than not. As a child of divorced parents, especially at such a young age, I had my fair share of trust issues that manifested themselves in assorted ways. And my father’s patience could sometimes be very thin. In retrospect, I feel that he did the best that he could, and I certainly didn’t make things any easier on my part. My desires to dream big often came at the cost of my focus on reality. In short, the idea of staying on the farm, fixing Moisture Vaporators seemed like agony, while I’d rather be playing with my Skyhopper.

“Ptew! Ptew! Take that, Womprat!”

Much like the aforementioned pair, my father and I did eventually grow to a more mutual understanding that came with age and maturity, on both of our parts, and a developing sense of compromise. However when the credits rolled for the final time, I remember being struck with the strongest sense of depression. After all, it was over. There were no more adventures to be had. Of course, there were rumors, at the time, of the prequel trilogy coming to light, soon...but those were many years incoming. Until my next trip to the library revealed to me that the adventures had not ended...they had only begun.

While far from the first written, Timothy Zahn’s Thrawn Trilogy books certainly among the most popular and groundbreaking.

My sister, being a bit older than me, was able to tear through Timothy Zahn’s Heir to the Empire and subsequent books, while I tried to occupy myself with slightly easier fare.  I tore through Kevin J. Anderson’s Young Jedi Knights series the way kids today absorb Harry Potter. Which doesn’t surprise me, as from a narrative standpoint, the two bear very striking similarities. For the record, I’d take training on Yavin IV with Luke Skywalker over a letter from Hogwarts any day of the week. As for creating my own stories, my stepmother worked for a distribution company that focused on memorabilia, and as such, I had access to not only toys but trading cards, posters, cardboard standups, everything.  And of course, at the time, catalogs and special orders were the only place where such things could be procured. Christmas of that year consisted of nothing but Star Wars.

Imagine, if you can, a time when Star Wars merchandise was hard to come by.

I finally got to see my favorite movies on the big screen once again when in 1997, the Original Trilogy was re-released into theaters for the Special Edition. Seeing the updated special effects was...kind of cool, but I never felt there was anything particularly wrong with them in the first place. Spoiled by such realistic effects as seen in Jurassic Park, their dated hokiness only added to their charm. To me, it was somehow more impressive that they were able to do all of that without computers. But the bonus side-effect of the Special Edition was the bringing of Star Wars back into the cultural spotlight. Not only did toys return to the shelves, but games like Rebel Assault II and Masters of Teräs Käsi for the Sony Playstation gave these weird little movies that only I seemed to love a sense of legitimacy.

Ahh, Masters of Teräs Käsi, the fighting game that gave players control of their favorite Star Wars characters. Like Luke, Leia, Chewbecca, and of course, the unfortunately monikered Hoar.

Of course, being a kid, I didn’t have much of the geeky sense of ownership that comes with a niche interest becoming more mainstream.  To me, I was simply thankful that my friends were starting to take an interest. Within a few years, speculation began to stir about the impending release of Star Wars: Episode I. And then came the day that the trailer dropped. I remember waiting hours, on my dial-up connection, for a grainy trailer to load, playing whatever footage had already buffered over and over again until finally getting to watch the entire trailer from start to finish. Now, in my older, more cynical times, I would cringe at the enthusiasm that I expressed for The Phantom Menace, but of course, at the time, I was simply happy to see another Star Wars movie.  And while my first love shall always remain the originals, in spite of myself, I can’t outright say that I am capable of hating any of them.

Hate does, after all, lead to suffering…

It seems almost embarrassing to say that most of my passions can be sourced, in some way, from Star Wars. My love for reading developed from both the previously mentioned Young Adult novels and also Lord of the Rings, books that were recommended to me simply because of my love of Star Wars. I grew up from playing “the Adventures of Luke and Leia” with my sister to telling my own stories via many of the Star Wars Role-Playing Games that have come out across the years, (and continue to do so, to this day.) My admiration for Voice Acting coming from the sheer astonishment that the guy who voiced the Joker in my favorite cartoon also played Luke Skywalker. And my love of filmmaking can be traced back to the puppetry and special effects utilized in the originals. Indeed, this blog, a Star Wars blog, is the conduit through which to pursue my passion for writing.

With movies being released, television shows in development and/or production, numerous comic book titles published by Marvel, and full-length novels being written on the regular, this franchise - which started out as three simple movies - only seems to be getting bigger by the day. This blog, for the most part, is an exploration of the stories that exist within the Star Wars canon. An exploration of the overarching story of the Skywalker family, and the struggles of the Light against the Dark. In addition to that, however, it is also an insight into the fandom of Star Wars, itself, and just what it is about these stories that want us to create our own. Whether you love the prequels, or hate them; whether the idea of a new generation of Star Wars fans delights or repulses you, and whether the codifying and quantifying of canon versus Legends is a source of relief or frustration -- we all want to live, if only for an hour or two, in a Galaxy Far, Far Away...