#my schedule might be a factor too because um. I have to go upstairs -> downstairs -> upstairs again -> and then to a completely different-

[robots-are-kinda-hot]

coraline anomaly au stuff. mostly hands. don’t judge them, I had no reference for any of them lmao

As for the doll, I like to think that Other Reader made a Sans one originally to lure him, but then after he gets to know them better they get to know each other, Sans asked them to make one of themselves. (he may or may not cuddle with it to help him sleep. shhhh, it’s a secret.)

enjoy while I attempt to finish writing things for this au. just a small thing (that probably will uh. not be small when I’m finally done with it) for an ask and also MAYBE something to expand on how Sans got a doll of Other Reader :]

original anomaly by @htsan!

[liquor-and-intellect]

Clouded- Part 4

In which Jules might or might not have feelings for her best friend, Harry, who is getting engaged to another girl and everything just becomes… more complicated.

or

friends to lovers to enemies to lovers- it’s complicated

previous parts

PART 4

Harry had left an hour later when I had reassured him multiple times that I was okay. There had laid a minute amount of tension between us still as we stood facing each other in the silhouette of my doorway, the moonlight running through my windows to highlight the contours of his face… the dip of his cheek bones… the curve of his chin... I knew that upon leaving this space, things would be different between us. We could never return to our normal state of familiarity with each other, no matter how many times the phrase “I need you” was exchanged.

That night I fell asleep restlessly. Waking up every hour to stare at my ceiling and think about how we weren't starting this “being friends” with complete honesty and transparency—and that was my fault.

I knew I would have to tell him eventually, but I wasn’t ready just yet. That didn’t mean I couldn’t take positive steps in the right direction though.

Before the morning light was even out, I was up with a single bag in tow, climbing my exhausted body out of the back seat of an Uber. London’s Euston Station was already alive with the bustling of early travelers claiming their first spots on the tube. It was a two and half hour ride to Holmes Chapel, with one stop and a train change halfway through.

The travel northwest was quick, my thoughts consuming me enough to keep me company. After a speedy tube change at the junction, I noticed the familiar scenery as we headed north towards Manchester Piccadilly, my home of Holmes Chapel coming into view over the rolling green hills.

I took a taxi at the Crewe Station, the address humming off my tongue like a second nature. We passed through the city limits and I felt the rise of familiarity overcome me as I gazed out onto the streets that stretched across. There was my school, there was my favorite restaurant, there was the place the cool kids would hang out on the weekends. Studying a park bench, I remembered Harry and I sitting on the jagged wood as his soothing words calmed the sobbing preteen who just went through her first break up.

This town held too many memories.

My house came into view as I placed one foot in front of the other down the sidewalk. My childhood home was a warm two-story house. When it was cold, you could find it with tuff of smoke billowing out of the chimney to fight the chilly air, the smell of warm bread drifting through the cracked window. And when it was warm, you’d see a dainty light-haired lady on her knees in the flower beds that bordered the front fence of the property, hands deep in mulch with her favorite gardening apron on. My father would be trimming the ivy that curved its way up to an upstairs bedroom window, but never too much because my mother loved the way it looked. I counted the number of pebbles on the stone walk way, taking note of the wooden porch swing that was rocking gently in the breeze.

My mother's face was priceless as she opened the door to my soft knocks. Her short blonde hair pinned away from her face and her morning robe still loosely woven around her petite frame. Sometimes—at times like these—I loved to look at her. I adored the way her nose was so familiar, because it sat on my face. Or the way her eyebrows raised ignited a nostalgia in me because I used the facial expression quiet often.

“Julia!” she exclaimed before a smile caught its way onto her lips. She grabbed my shoulders, wrapping me in such a familiar warm embrace. She still smelled like coffee and cinnamon, just like when I was younger.

“I wasn't expecting you, love,” she told me, pulling me through the door frame and closing the door behind her. I could smell the aroma of breakfast in the air and I suddenly missed her hot tea and biscuits.

“I-” I broke off, not exactly sure what to say. There was so much that had happened in the short time I haven't spoken to her. What was I supposed to say? “I, um, just felt like I needed to talk.”

Her eyes narrowed and I felt the way they evaluated me under her gaze. She was always so good at reading me, being able to notice when I was upset or hiding a sneaky teenage secret. This was a bit different though and I could tell that she knew it as well because she led me into living room, gesturing for me to take a seat on the patterned sofa.

“Let me get you some tea, dear.” She nodded. “Stay right here.”

I sighed a breath of relief. That was exactly what I needed right now.

When she passed the steaming cup into my hand, the sweet smell of it having already been given sugar warmed my heart. My poor mother who had no idea the damage that I had done.

“What's going on, Julia?” she whispered, her arm balancing on the back of the couch as she faced me, her legs being pulled up beside her.

“Mum...” I murmured, my eyes falling to my lap. “where do I even start?”

She pursed her lips. “How about we start from the beginning, yeah?”

I nodded. “That's where it gets a bit complicated…”

There was nothing more difficult then having this talk with my own mother. I always imagined when I told her I was pregnant, I would have the sweetest, most elaborate surprise planned. I could imagine the look on her face as she realized, with tears in her eyes, “I’m going to be a grandmother?” and I would nod, and we would laugh and I would look to my husband with pride-

But that wasn’t how it happened. Because now, I honestly didn’t know how to get through this without her. I didn’t know what doctors to go to, which home remedies helped morning sickness or— oh, God­­—how to even raise a fucking child. I was at the end of myself and I just needed my mum.

I sniffed and felt a tear run down the side of my cheek being set loose from the corner of my eye.

“Mum, I'm pregnant,” I whispered and I rode out the words with a soft sob as I tried to not fall apart. But there was something about being in such a safe space where all my walls didn’t need to be up. It was so easy to fall apart here, because I knew of how many times I had been put right back together under this roof.

I was too ashamed to look up at her, afraid to find judgment or disgust in her blue eyes that mocked the same color as mine. It would be too much to bear. That was until I felt her thumb brush under my cheek bone, catching the salty tear that had been released.

“Come here, my darling,” she finally breathed and that was it. That was all it took for me to fall forward into her arms and relish the feeling of being held as I let every piece of myself heave in exhaustion. “It is quite alright to cry, let it all out and then we will talk.”

She had always been good at being the calm individual in the family. Her words being the peaceful mediation when my dad would yell at me for coming in late or for wondering why I wasn't with Harry when I had said I would be. I had such a good mother and I had neglected that for so long—how was I going to be able to amount to the woman holding me together right now?

“Are you positive?” she asked me when my sobbing had died down and I laid limp in her strong arms.

I nodded against her, my head tucked neatly in the space between her collarbone and chin. “I took multiple tests...” I whispered. “and I've been very sick lately.”

“Do you know who the father is?”

That was the question I didn't want to answer. My mother was in the social loop with Anne… so she was certainly aware of the fact that he was most definitely getting married in the matter of mere months. There was no way that I could tell her that I had slept with my best friend and potentially ruined our future relationship and most likely his soon to be marriage. I didn't want to be seen as that low— even though I was surely feeling that way.

“Yes,” I mumbled. “I know who the father is.”

She didn't push me any further for the moment, but I knew her patience of me avoiding that answer would soon grow to an end. Eventually I would have to tell everyone and I dreaded that with everything inside of me.

I drank the tea, wishing desperately that it would solve all my problems like it healed the common cold. My mother and I talked more and I felt the weight slightly shift on my shoulders as if it was ready to be lifted. Letting someone else know besides Jeff was one step further to where I needed to be.

My mum told me of a local OBGYN here in Holmes Chapel that was at the same clinic she went to when she was pregnant with me. It was a very close friend of a friend. I called shortly after lunch and was lucky enough to schedule an appointment for the next day.

“Do you want to stay the night and I'll go with you in the morning?” she asked me when I had finished setting my plate in the sink.

I nodded. “That would be nice… Thank you.” I gave her a small smile, letting her know that I appreciated everything she was doing for me.

That night I laid in my old childhood bedroom, memories pulling at my heart strings as I glanced briefly at all the pictures taped lazily on my walls. My first dance, a beach trip with Harry, a birthday party, Halloween. My chest ached suddenly when my eyes gazed over a photograph of Harry and I before he went into his second X Factor audition. His hair was a bed of curls, tall and light brown but his smile still radiant and his irises still dancing. He had both arms around me, his chin completely missing the top of mine by inches as he had pulled me into his chest. I had been so excited for him that day, I knew that they would have to take him back. There was no way they could listen to Harry Styles and turn away as if they had not experienced pure talent from such a radiant human being.

I swallowed and looked away. He didn't deserve for me to do this to his life.

My eyes had started to close when I heard the vibrating of my phone going off on the bedside table. My vision clearing when I saw the caller ID reading: Jeff (Harry’s Manager).

“Hello?” I asked, my voice still groggy.

“Julia,” he greeted. “how are you?”

I sat up on my elbow, officially awake. “Fine...” I answered, wondering what it was that he had called me for. “is everything alright?” Something must have happened to Harry.

“Yeah,” he breathed, allowing me to sigh in relief with him. “I called to asked you the same thing. Harry says you two are officially trying this friend thing?”

I pursed my lips. “Yeah, we are,” I mumbled. “I don't know how long that's going to last though.”

“So, I assume you haven't told him?” he asked. “He most likely would have told me if he knew.”

“No, not yet... It was sudden and he wanted to be friends again with honesty and I just didn't have the heart to tell him... I just couldn't do it.” I laid back down on my back, my free hand falling limp by head. “I'm at my mother's house for the night, I have a doctor's appointment in the morning. I'm trying to take steps in the right direction and telling Harry is next on my list.”

He let out a long breath. “Just remember that the longer you wait to tell him, the more hurt he's going to be. He's going to need time to sort out everything with Elaine, the wedding, and me and the management team. They aren't going to want something like this leaking into the press.”

The breath immediately left my lungs. “I- I don't want to ruin his career...”

“Julia,” he interrupted my upcoming words with a stern voice, his accent blending the letters together like a mosaic. “this isn't your fault alone. Stop blaming this on yourself. Stop acting like this was all your doing when it was as much as Harry's as well.”

I took a deep breath, nodding even though he couldn't see me.

“You don’t need to have everything figured out when you tell him, but just be in a healthy mindset,” he continued talking, taking my silence as acceptance. “He's going to need you to be strong for the him when he finds out. He won't be able to handle it alone.”

“Okay,” I whimpered, swallowing back my pride.

“Get some rest now.” His voice had dropped lower, as if trying to convince me that I needed sleep. “God knows you need it.”

***

I sat in the creaky plastic chair in the waiting room, surrounded by the swollen bellies of women around me. My mother perched next to me, her calm posture winding up my nerves even more. She was being so supportive that it ripped my hear to shreds. I didn’t deserve it.

“Julia,” a nurse called as she stepped through the doorway and I felt the eyes of everyone around me land onto my rising figure.

Gingerly, I stood up and followed her into the hallway, my mum's shoes clapping behind us. The nurse politely weighed me on a scale and continued to taking blood samples and vitals. She led me to a separate room where I sat down tensely on the plastic covered bed.

We sat in the quiet for a few moments before the sound of my phone ringing pulled me from my reverie. Of course, I sighed, it was Harry. He had impeccable timing.

“Hi,” answered tersely, trying to loosen the strings in my voice, knowing all too well he could read me like an open book.

“Hey, Jules,” he greeted, curiosity leaking into his voice. “I was just waiting to go in for a performance in London. Thought I'd give you a call.”

I nodded. “Thanks, I didn't know you were performing today.”

My mother's eyes widened in realization that I was talking to Harry and a small smile crept onto her lips.

“Yeah, it was kind of sudden for all of us.” He let out a breathy chuckle and I could just imagine his hand running through his hair. “What are you doing?”

My heart dropped at the question and I pushed at every bone in my body not to pull another lie into this relationship. “I'm at the doctor's… in Holmes Chapel actually,” I mumbled, he didn't have to know what kind of doctor.

“You went all the way there for a doctor's appointment?” he asked as if he was surprised. “Is everything all right? Are you okay?” I could psychically feel his worry seeping through my cellphone.

“No! I'm fine, Harry. Everything's alright,” I assured him. It was further from the truth, but I couldn't say that or he would strangle himself with worry.

He let out a breath. “Alright… just let me know if anything isn't—okay, I mean.” There was a shuffling around on the other end. “You need to tell your doctor about the panic attacks you've been having.” His voice was lower now as if he didn't want people overhearing.

I pulled my lips into my mouth. “Yeah, I forgot about that. It's not a big deal, though.”

“Jules!” His voice was reprimanding. “Of course it's a big deal. What would have happened if I hadn't showed up?”

I sighed, dragging my hand down my face. “I don't know.”.

Right then the door opened and an older lady with a lab coat strolled in, her iPad resting in her hand. “How are we doing today?” she asked.

“Harry, I have to go. I'll call you later,” I told him.

After he had hung up, I looked expectantly into the bright and warm eyes of the doctor. She had gray hair that grazed her shoulders, and wrinkles around her mouth from years of smiling. Her kind demeanor gave me a sense of comfort and allowed me to relax in my seat a bit more.

“So, we're five weeks, yeah?” she asked, sitting on the stool in front of me and crossing her legs.

I nodded.

Her short hair swished around her as she nodded at my confirmation. “I'm Dr. Kelly,” she introduced, sticking her hand out for me to shake. “and I'll be your OB today and possibly moving forward in the pregnancy. Nice to meet you two.”

After briefly shaking her hand, my mother spoke before I could introduce myself, “I'm Linda and this is my daughter, Julia.”

She smiled and proceeded to ask the standardized questions, making notes on her iPad in front of her.

“Do you have any asthma?” she asked. “Or any form of anxiety problem?”

My immediate response was about to be no before I stopped myself, thinking of the precious panic attacks that I had experienced. “I- um- actually have had two panic attacks in the past month,” I told her.

My mum's head whipped around to look at me, her lips parted in astonishment because I hadn’t told her.

Dr. Kelly's eyebrows drew together as she observed me. “Can you describe these for me, love?”

I took a deep breath, thinking of the drowning feeling I had gone through, the sense of suffocation and closing in walls. “I felt as if there was a weight on my chest and I couldn't actually see what was in front of me, it was all just blank.”

“How long did this last?” she asked, her pen scribbling away.

I pursed my lips, trying to push myself back to that first night when Harry had found me in my room. “Fifteen minutes… about thirty until I was okay.”

“Why didn't you tell me?” my mum interrupted, her eyes wide like moons with worry.

Averting my gaze to my lap, I said, “Harry was there for both of them and his worry would have been enough for the both of you. I didn't think it was that serious.”

“Well,” the doctor interrupted. “it might have not been that big of a deal before, but now that you are with a child it can be a lot more dangerous. What if you fall during a panic attack? Or pass out? Stop breathing? These are all risks that you have to be aware of.”

I nodded, feeling shameful.

“I'm going to prescribe you a small dosage of anxiety medicine along with some prenatal vitamins. Take this every night and it should help with the panicking feeling you experience before escalating into a panic attack.”

She went over more rules with me, setting up ultrasounds appointments and the timeline of the next few months. How my body would be changing and what I should expect from hormones or sleeping behavior. It was so much to take in I could feel the stress in my chest as I tried to remember what the last thing she had said was when she started a new topic.

“I also recommend to stay away from seafood,” she continued. “just because of the possible bacteria that could be inside of it can sometimes be harmful for the baby.” She glanced down at her screen, sliding to a next page as she scanned her notes. “Also, you should know to drink no alcohol...” she mumbled as if it was a second thought.

When the appointment ended, I was physically exhausted. There was too much to soak in and I could already feel that these next months coming up were going to be the most challenging yet. I really needed to get my shit together.

…

I had said my goodbyes to my parents later that day and got a train back to London, denying the money my mum offered to pay for the ticket. I didn't need to be in debt with anyone, if I was going to be a mother I needed to take responsibility for myself and the first step I could take into that direction was by paying for my own tube ride. Maybe it was a control issue… maybe not.

My apartment was small and welcoming when I opened the creaking door. The gray walls wanting to draw me into their embrace and pull me back to familiar territory. I took a deep breath and laid the packet of information I had been given by the doctor next to the fresh bottle of prescription pills.

It was starting to feel real now and the next thing I had to do was tell Harry. Or at least attempt to tell him. But just like Jeff had said, I needed to pull myself together as much as possible before laying the news onto him. I had to be prepared to be strong for the both of us. I had to be able to handle whatever he threw at me when he found out. People had a tendency to do irrational things when put into stressful situations.

An hour later my phone began ringing and I trampled from my bathroom before my voicemail could catch it.

“Hey,” I answered Harry breathlessly, falling onto my couch from my exertion of running down the hallway.

He chuckled on the other end. “Hi there. What were you doing? Running a marathon?”

“More like my hallway.”

“Maybe you should work out with me some time,” he suggested and I could practically feel his light laughter brush my cheek as he chuckled to himself through the phone.

“I know this phone call wasn't to try and get me to work out again, because I already told you last time that the argument is only a dead end,” I laughed and pushed a hand through my hair.

“Okay, it actually isn't,” he replied. “I wanted to ask if you wanted to join me and a few friends out tonight— you know, just a small, private club.”

“Define a few friends.”

Harry swallowed. “Uh, Elaine and the band. I think a few of Jeff’s wife’s friends were joining…”

I pulled my lips into my mouth. Not my definition of a good night if that's what he wanted to know.

“Remember,” his voice was noticeably lower. “we were going to try being friends again. This is a good start.”

I nodded even though he couldn't see me. Why not? “Okay,” I told him.

The cracks of his smile breaking sounded through the phone and I couldn't help but smile along with him. He had a strange way of doing these things to me. Harry was contagious.

“Meet us there at eight?” he asked. “I'll text you the details.”

I agreed and hung up to get dressed. What would pushing everything aside for one more night do? I'll let Harry have fun and I'll break the news soon. Just give him a little more time.

I dressed in a loose black t-shirt dress with a large tan sherpa coat and ankle boots. Pushing my dark hair off my shoulders, I grabbed my purse and walked into the dropping London evening air. My exposed legs were suddenly feeling like a bad idea, I thought as I rushed to grab an Uber on the corner of the busy college street.

The heater was on full blast as I pushed myself into the backseat, telling the driver the address Harry had texted me. It was a private club in the high end of London, Harry and his friends had probably rented it out for the evening. The usually did that when they didn't want the paparazzi having any kind of interference.

I stepped back into the biting cold when the taxi stopped on the corner of the street, my boots tapping against the sidewalk as I pulled on the door handle of the entrance.

There was a short hallway that led to another set of doors, the music seeping from underneath the hinges.

The bouncer's eyes landed on me. “Name?” he asked, his broad shoulders clad in a black blazer and dress shirt. I knew Harry and his friends probably paid him well for performing security on a Thursday evening for them.

“Julia Lovewick,” I said and gave him a polite smile as he opened the door for me.

It wasn't much a club as it was a small lounge with loud music and sleek granite topped bar. The twinkling black tiles mesmerizing as they laid underneath huge circular couches and an open dance floor. The music didn’t pound  the inside of your ears like a normal club, but eased itself through the speakers with a pleasurable tone. As I walked further into the bar, the warm sound of laughter echoed underneath the soft tones of guitar as I recognized Harry’s friends, along with some I haven’t seen before.

“Jules!” a voice called and my heart leaped at it's lovely vibrato. His voice calling my name was my favorite thing.

“Hey,” I smiled and turned to give Harry a loose hug. I didn’t want to squeeze too tight in fear of pushing the boundaries we’ve placed—along with the ones in my own heart as well. Harry didn’t mind though because he gave me a hard embrace for a single breath before pushing away.

“I'm glad you could make it,” he whispered low enough for only me to hear. His green eyes stared into mine for a beat too long. His way of letting me know how thankful he was that I showed. “Everyone's over here.” He motioned with his hand and I followed him to the corner of the room where a group of his friends were sitting in a round booth.

I noticed Glenne, Jeff’s girlfriend first. She smiled at me, her pink lips stretching over her teeth. She had always been one of the girls I had grown closest too out of Harry's friends, I guess that's why I had suddenly had this connection with Jeff. “Julia!” she greeted and stood up to wrap her arms tightly around me.

“Hey,” I laughed. “It’s been a minute.”

With one arm around my shoulders, she playfully glared at Harry. “You didn't tell me the life of the party was going to show up, I might have saved a few drinks for her.”

“Who's shown up?” a voice asked, high heels clicking with it.

I looked over Glenne’s shoulder to see Elaine approaching the group, her long tan legs stretching miles up to her short sequined, skin tight dress, a closed lip smile on her face.

“Julia has!” Glenne continued, oblivious to the tension that seemed to slip between Harry, Elaine and I. “Harry wanted to keep her a surprise for us!” Her ring clad finger tapped the tip of my nose playfully.

“Alright, alright,” Jeff chuckled, wrapping his arm around Glenne’s waist, pulling her away from me. “someone needs to slow down on drinks here.” His bright eyes landed on her lovingly.

Glenne’s mouth dropped and her hand landed on her chest. “Slow down?” she asked incredulously. “Julia just got here! That means speed up if anything.” She reached to the table handing me a small shot glass and taking one herself. “Drink up, love”

I stared at it, feeling my stomach tie in knots. “No… no thank you. I'm okay,” I reassured her, my voice shaking slightly as I set the glass back down on the table. I tried my best to act as causally as possible, but I swear the shaking in my hand as I shoved the glass away was as visible to everyone as Harry’s love of bad jokes.

“C'mon,” she cheered. “the night is still young.”

I shook my head. “Really, I don't need anything.”

“Julia-” she groaned.

“Glenne, love, she doesn't want to drink,” Jeff cut her off, looking into her eyes seriously. “leave her alone.”

His eyes met mine over the top of her blonde head and I gave him a tight smile. I could tell that he understood exactly. I hadn’t assumed Jeff would tell Glenne… but I understood if he would have. Me being pregnant was a large and very catastrophic secret. I had assumed at the end of the day when he was at home he would have let it slip to his girlfriend the mess of my life that I dragged him into. The small amount of comfort it gave me that he hadn’t shared my secret grew my trust for Jeff, allowing me to exhale just a bit more.

Glenne—tipsy and unaware of the everything— rolled her eyes and shrugged, pushing the liquid down her throat before slamming the glass on the table.

“You sure you don't want anything?” Harry asked from beside me, his green eyes too large and too unknowing.

“No, not tonight,” I told him, giving him a smile.

“Ah, Julia,” Elaine said, walking up to Harry and laying her hand on his shoulder. “if you can't hold your alcohol, just say so.” Her long eyelashes batted at me in such an annoying way.

I laughed lightly. “I remember distinctively last year when a certain someone was throwing up in the streets after—what was it, Elaine? Three? Or was it two drinks?” I asked her, keeping my tone light so it would sound like only friendly banter, but the glare in her eyes made it obvious it was most definitely not.

“I hadn't been feeling well that day,” she defended, an obvious blush rising on her cheeks.

Harry's eyes flickered back from both of us, trying to gauge exactly what he should say or do, an obvious discomfort in the way he stood. “Elaine, darling,” he told her, wrapping his hand around her wrist. “let's go talk to Jack, I heard Diane was in town.” And he pulled her away, because he knew exactly what was going on.

I watched them walk away together hand in hand, the stunning knight pulling the damsel in distress away from harm. It hurt—I was lying if I said it didn't.

Turning my gaze back to the group in front of me, I took a seat in the open chair, guessing I shouldn't wait around for Harry to return.

“Why haven't I seen you around lately?” asked Mitch, leaning his forearms onto the table in front of him. He pushed one hand through his dark brown locks, causing them to pull away from his forehead as his friendly gaze landed on me.

I pursed my lips, thinking of my absence from Harry's social life in the past month. Things hadn't exactly been the best between us. “Been busy with homework,” I yelled over the music that seemed to only get louder with the minutes.

He winked, letting out a light laugh as he tilted his drink back. “I'd say that too,” he mocked playfully.

“Believe me when I say I have been far from the parties lately,” I assured him, shaking my head at his playful teasing.

“Harold!” an all too familiar Irish accent called, followed by a stumbling blonde man who collapsed next to me.

“Niall!” Harry called back from across the bar, waving at his drunk friend. I had a feeling this wasn’t the first time they had greeted each due to his inebriated state.

Niall swung his head around, his big blue eyes falling on me. It had been a while since I had seen him, since their One Direction days were behind him. When Niall visited London, it wasn’t uncommon for him and Harry to meet up. He was the only ex-band member that Harry bothered to keep up with.  “You going to introduce me to... your friend?” His pearly smile flashed at me as he directed his question to Mitch.

I couldn't help but start laughing. I had met Niall plenty of times, but the effects of alcohol seemed to push those memories aside.

Mitch played along. “Yeah, Niall,” he said. “this is my friend, Julia. Julia this is my very wasted friend, Niall.” He gestured to Niall's slumping posture.

“Hi!” I told him. “Nice to finally meet you.”

“You are very pretty,” he stated, his large blue eyes taking me in.

I giggled and glanced back at Mitch who had his head tilted back in laughter.

“Ya know,” Niall continued. “you look like someone I know.”

I leaned on the table, resting my chin in m my open palm. “Is that right?”

His eyes narrowed as he nodded furiously. “Yeah. She's really pretty too. Harry always talks about her.” He leaned in closer to me, lowering his voice to a whisper. “Sometimes…” he slurred. “I think—” hiccup “— that he likes her. But don't tell Elaine because-she-doesn't.”

I bit my lip, if only he could be any further from the truth.

“Niall...” Mitch groaned, rolling his eyes.

“What?” he asked, looking up innocently. “Elaine doesn't like anyone.”

Mitch’s eyes widened, leaning across the table to look at him. “Shh! Could you be any louder?”

“Eh.” Niall shrugged. “I'm too drunk for that.” He took a long sip from his beer.

“Julia. Long time no see.”

I looked up from the table to see Emi Prendergast with a wide smile on her orange lips and her sun-kissed blonde hair curled messily around her face. “Here,” she said, laying a glass on the table. “heard that we were the only ones not drinking tonight, so I thought I'd bring you a water.”

“Thank you,” I told her appreciatively, I had been getting thirsty. “And I know… it's been a while since I've been out.”

“Em!” Niall cheered, slinging an arm around my shoulder. “Doesn't she remind you of Julia?”

Emi looked back between me and Mitch, the corner of mouth tugging upwards as she tried not laugh. “Yeah,” she agreed, nodding her head as if she was talking to a child. “she really does.”

Niall nodded as if he knew he was right the entire time.

“Except I call dibs on her,” he continued. “Harry wouldn't let me within flirting distance of Julia.”

“Flirting distance?” I asked.

He nodded. “Yeah. I said she was pretty and then he told me that I wasn't allowed to flirt with her because that was his best friend.”

Mitch’s face fell in his hands as he shook his head.

“But good thing you're not her. I called dibs on you,” he repeated.

I rolled my eyes and took a sip of my water.

From where I was sitting, I could see Harry making his way back over to our table, winding his way through a throng of people. He looked good tonight. His button up shirt was slightly transparent, so the outline of his scattered ink could be seen as the shirt shifted around him. The top was tucked into a pair of wide-legged slacks that traveled up the expanse of his legs, accenting his narrow hips. He could make anything look good.  Staring at him I wondered if he knew just how toxic he really was. The man could pout that lip and I'd follow him to the ends of the earth.

“Looks like I missed something...” Harry’s deep velvety voice lilted my ears. He stopped in front of the table to stare at Niall's arm that was resting around my shoulders.

“Ya did!” Niall answered. “I called dibs.”

Harry raised an eyebrow at him, taking a seat across from us. “Dibs?”

“On her.”

Noticing his confused expression, Mitch clarified, “Niall says that Julia looks just like Julia but since it's not Julia he has called dibs.” He gestured with his glass before taking a sip.

Niall stared at him, his mouth slightly hanging open. “No, I called dibs because she's pretty.”

Mitch rolled his eyes.

“You can't call dibs on Julia,” Harry argued, something settling in his eyes as he frowned at him.

“Yes, I can, lad.” He nodded. “This isn't the Julia you told me to stay away from, this is another that looks just like her. That's why I can call dibs.”

Harry's eyes flickered back to me, hoping I didn't catch the slip about Niall being told to stay away from me.

I pretended I didn't and took a sip of my drink.

“What's going on here?” Elaine said too loudly. Her voice too high pitched for my sensitive ears. She slid onto Harry's lap, her arm falling loosely around his neck.

I looked down at the table.

“Looks like someone is getting cozy over here, Harry,” she sang, while she eyed me and Niall.

“They are not getting cozy,” Harry said sternly, his jaw tense.

Niall leaned in towards me, his face inches from my own. “Maybe we can get cozy at my place after this, yeah?” he attempted to whisper, but his state seemed to deceive him because it was practically yelled for everyone to hear.

Before I could respond, Mitch erupted into laughter next to us, his head tilted back and his eyes screwed shut. I bit back my smile, trying my best to not laugh along with him.

“He thinks I'm kidding,” Niall huffed and let go of me to slump back in his seat and take a long sip of his glass.

I couldn't help but chuckle at how completely drunk he was.

“They'd make a cute couple, wouldn't they, Haz?” Elaine asked, her hand brushing its way through his hair.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Mitch roll his eyes.

Harry bit his cheek, making no acknowledgment that Elaine—obnoxiously—hanging over him. “He's not her type,” he mumbled.

I watched him curiously,

She traced her finger across his plump lip and I felt the urge to get out of my seat and throw up. “Oh, you don't know what she wants.”

“Aye, lads!” Niall cheered, pulling himself clumsily up onto his feet in the chair. Obviously, he was unaware of the awkward tension that Elaine had just created. “can I have a toast?”

“Niall, sit down, you drunk,” Mitch scolded as he fought off a tugging smile.

He shook his head, the movement causing him to sway back and forth on his feet and I instinctively reached up to grasp his hand, allowing him to steady himself. “I'm not that drunk.”

Harry's green eyes grew bigger. “Yeah, you're pretty wasted, lad, maybe you should get down.”

“Whoa, what did I miss?” Adam asked as he strolled toward the table, a look of confusion on his face as he eyed Niall cautiously who was still standing and swaying with a drink in his hand.

“I'm making a toast, that's what you missed!” Niall yelled back at him.

Adam smiled, sitting down next to Emi. “Don't want to miss this,” he muttered, trying to hide the urge to laugh.

“Excuse me, everyone!” he yelled, looking out to everyone around us. “I would like to make a toast.”

Mitch leaned back in his seat, shaking with laughter.

“I want everyone to know that I have called dibs on Julia!” Before anyone could form a response, he threw his head back and downed the rest of the glass.

My face fell in my hands as I joined Mitch in laughing, my shoulders shaking up and down. As much as I hated being around Harry and Elaine while they were being an annoying couple, I was glad I had come out tonight. Even if it was for a short time, I needed to feel the bubbling of giggles in my stomach and light air of being around friends. It was hard to live a life without those experiences, I knew from firsthand experience when attempting to distance myself these past few weeks.

I knew it wouldn’t last long, but I was willing to soak up as much of it as could at this particular moment in time.

…

Harry's P.O.V

I leaned back in my chair, watching Julia shake with laughter. Her eyes squeezed shut and her lips stretching all the way from ear to ear. Her hands were gathered in front of her chest, a gesture she normally did when she laughed. She was so mesmerizing.

“Hey.”

I averted my attention to the girl who was sitting daintily on my thighs, the one who wore my ring on her finger.

She moved my chin to face her, trying to get me to listen.

“Pay attention to me,” she giggled, trying so hard not to sound rude when in reality she wanted to. El always did that. She always tried to soften the blow of her words with a slick smile or the bat of her eyelashes. She demanded attention.

“I am,” I told her softly, dragging my gaze away from Niall who was scooting closer to Jules.

She shifted in my lap so she was blocking my view of them. “Are we going to go venue shopping tomorrow?”

I swallowed. All I've heard about this past week and a half is the wedding. What colors, what dresses, what style, what theme. Harry, what kind of table cloths? Should I invite a talk show host for the publicity? It was everywhere I turned—I couldn't escape it.

“Yeah, sure. If you want,” I told her.

She nodded. “Well, I do. I think I want to look at the huge event center here in London. The one with a lot of seating.”

I nodded. Of course she did.

“What about the one in Holmes?” I asked for what felt like the hundredth time.

Elaine's nose wrinkled. “I told you I didn't like that one,” she said again. “it's too tacky.”

That was a new one. Usually she would tell me it was too small or in the middle of such sketchy street. This was the root of the problem, it was now too tacky. Ever since I was little I wanted to get married in that building. Of course I would give the bride her say because this day was all about her, but it still would have been nice for consideration.

“Harry!” I looked up at Adam’s voice. “do you remember what time we were supposed to meet the band at the studio tomorrow night?” He had his arm wrapped around Emi’s shoulder, her back leaning into him casually.

“Six,” Jeff answered, walking up to the table with Glenne just behind him.

Niall glanced at his watch. “Well,” he said, his accent much more heavier than usual with the amount of alcohol he had been consuming. “It's 12 already, we might as well start heading there.”

The table was silent. Drunk Niall tended to forget that we weren’t in a band together anymore.

“You have time, Niall,” Julia said gently, her lips shaking slightly as she bit back a giggle. Her  hand landed on his arm as he went to stand. “wait a while and you can all go together.”

“Don't worry, love!” he told her and I felt my heart clench with it. “I'm just going to the bathroom, I'll be back.” His grin was wide as he smiled at all of us before stumbling drunkenly towards the other side of the room.

Mitch sighed and put his hands on the table before standing up. “I'm going to go make sure he doesn't go into the wrong room.” His curls fell around him as he shook his head before following him.

Glenne took a seat by Julia, leaning in closely to whisper something in her ear that caused them both to start giggling. She had always gotten along very well no matter what kind of atmosphere she was thrown into. Julia could walk up to a stranger and make friends in a second, she was just that way. People liked her.

I guess that's why we had gotten along so well over the years. I had been so quiet and reserved when I was younger and when I was with her, I actually had a chance at feeling normal. I had been her trusty sidekick as she flew about talking to everyone in the room once before finally settling. It was just her—it was just Julia.

“What are you two giggling about over there?” Emi asked with a glint in her eye. There was some unspoken girl-talk going on between the three.

Elaine cleared her throat on my lap, looking down at her hands. She had never really hit it off with the mate's girls.

“What are they talking about?” Jeff asked, taking a seat by Glenne, eyeing them playfully.

“Tell me if I'm wrong,” Glenne began. “but it seems as if Niall has a bit of a crush on Julia.”

“You're wrong,” I told her immediately without thinking, the words had just forced themselves past my lips before I could stop them.

Adam lifted an eyebrow. “I think you're wrong here, lad,” he told me.

I could feel Julia's eyes on me.

“He doesn't like, Julia,” I said exasperatedly. There was no way— Niall couldn't like her. “He's just drunk.”

Julia swallowed and looked down.

Adam kept it going though. “Niall only exaggerates when he's drunk, that means those feelings have to have come from somewhere.” He didn't see that my jaw muscles were already tensed or that I was rolling my eyes.

“Like I said,” I told him, hoping he would drop it. I didn't want to talk about this anymore. “he's just drunk.”

Julia's P.O.V

My chest tightened at Harry's words. Was it really so difficult to accept that someone could like me? He made it sound that the only way a man could think I was pretty is if he was drunk. I felt the tears in the back of my throat as I struggled to swallow them down.

“Excuse me,” I mumbled, pushing my chair back from the table and desperately searching for some kind of oasis from this situation. I didn't want these people to see me cry.

Walking to the hallway where Niall disappeared to, I followed the tile where a small exit door sat. I needed some air— some kind of relief.

Harry didn't think. He didn't realize that his words were harsh and were cutting me to the core. I know that I had just been his second choice- a mistake even- but that didn't mean he had to humiliate me in front of his friends.

I pushed the door open, welcoming the cool night air as it hit my flushed face. Maybe it was just my hormones, the doctor had warned be about those.

Leaning against the brick wall of the alley, I sucked in a deep breath. I just needed to take a minute to calm myself down, then I'll go back in there. Maybe no one caught my damp eyes or shaking hands, maybe they just thought I had to go to the bathroom.

The door opened behind me, followed by a soft, “Julia.”

When I focused on Jeff walking through the threshold, I realized then, that I had hoped it would be Harry.

“Are you okay?” he asked, standing across from me and leaning against the opposite wall. His hand shoved into his black leather jacket as his moonlit eyes took me in, looking for a crack in my rigid posture.

I nodded.

“I don't think he meant it like that—”

“I know what he meant, Jeff,” I whispered. “It's okay. I just needed some air.”

He shook his head. “No, you obviously don't understand.” He pushed himself away from the wall. “He's just jealous—”

“Don't say that to me,” I replied, my voice as thin as paper. “Please, I'm begging you. You can't say those things to me.”

“Julia! It's only true, why can't you see it?” he shouted, his voice louder as he pulled at his hair in frustration.

“Because!” I screamed back. “If I see it, then I'll believe it and if I believe it then this will hurt so much more than it already does, okay?”

He glared at me, something shifting behind his eyes as he breathed through his nose.

“I don't even know why you care,” I sighed, throwing up my hands.

His eyes finally broke away from mine as he looked towards the end of the alley way. “Because,” he murmured. “I don't want him to ruin his life. Harry would do the same for me and I only want to return the favor. He's different when he's with you.”

“People change,” I whisper, but before he could respond the door opened for the third time tonight. This time, a disheveled looking Harry coming through, his eyes landing on the two of us in confusion.

“What are you doing?” he asked, his eyes widening.

Jeff, who had fallen back against the wall, pushed himself from it, walking past Harry and holding the door open. “We were just talking.” The slam of the metal door punctuating his sentence.

Harry looked back at me, but I averted my gaze to the ground.

“Are you mad at me?” he asked.

I sighed. “No, Harry. I'm just tired.” I was mad though, but I knew I had no right to be from all the secrets I was keeping.

“No. You’re mad,” he stated.

I shook my head. “It doesn't matter any way.”

“But it does.”

I looked up to him. Why was he being so relentless?

Harry moved closer to me, his green eyes as big as the secrets between us. If I could, I’d fall right into them.

“No, it doesn't,” I said slowly, looking him straight in the eyes. I didn't want him pushing me right now when I was already so close to an edge.

Harry's arms crossed over his chest, the muscles distracting me as they moved under his tanned skin. “There's something you're not telling me,” he stated.

I took a deep breath. “There's a lot of things I'm not telling you,” I murmured.

He didn't move, but his eyes eternally frozen on me as so many thoughts and emotions passed behind them. I couldn't catch a single one, they were so sudden and quick it left me dizzy.

There wasn't time to catch my breath before he took a step closer and crushed our lips together. All my willpower demolishing along with it.

…

It was right after Harry pressed his lips against mine that a fire ignited in the pit of my stomach and at that moment I was so afraid it would burn us both to unrecognizable ashes.

It was this unknown rhythm that sang when our mouths danced together, a melody I suddenly knew although I was sure I had never heard it before this moment. His large hand cupped my hip bone, the thin material of my shirt threatening to run away beneath his fingers as it rode up in his grasp.

I let my curious hand wander up the length of his forearm, wrapping around the toned bicep under his sleeve. This feeling, as small as it was, felt like the best thing on this earth, how could I have been deprived for so long?

His finger hooked in the belt loop of my pants pulling me closer to him as distance could allow before backing me up against the brick wall behind me. Immediately without thought, my hand rose in front of my stomach, easing the pressure of our bodies from my belly. Before he could question it, though, I let my hand travel the expanse of his abdomen, feeling the curves and dips of his muscles. I wasn't certain if I was stepping on the top of his feet or not as his mouth traveled down to my neck, his nose skimming the vein under my ear. Harry pressed wet, passionate kissed along my skin, each one sending shivers of ecstasy down to my toes.

“What are we doing to each other?” he mumbled, his eyes landed on me as his words fanned over my face, each one of his exhales becoming breath in my lungs.

I took in his big brown eyes, each freckle on his nose. He was pure beauty.

Letting my other hand free from his arm, it wandered greedily over the dip of his nose, letting his silky eyelashes flutter against them. “We're robbers, Harry,” I whispered, soaking in as much as I could before this moment could vanish.

His eyebrows pulled together.

“We take and we take and one day we will have to return it, but then nothing will be left. But we might as well take as much as we can now, right?” His eyes, having wondered down to my lips met my own gaze again, a mutual understanding growing between us.

Harry swallowed, his jaw twitching before he kissed me for the second time.

He didn't know how right I was, though. He didn't realize that I was taking so much of him in that moment for when I would have to tell him secrets that would change everything. I would ruin his career, I would ruin his relationship, and I would most likely ruin this friendship between us that was already hanging by a thread. In this moment I was so greedy.

I let myself kiss him still…

As a groan sounded from his throat, the noise of a door opening stopped me cold.

Both of us froze, lips parted and heavy breathing circling the atmosphere.

“Um-”

I looked up to see Jeff, his eyes wide and his mouth slightly parted, there was this small smirk that was beginning to rise on his lips.

Harry pushed himself away from me, leaning against the other wall. His eyes, although, never straying from my figure.

“I—I was just—” Jeff gestured in the area around him, at a loss for words. “I was checking on you, but now... I guess, I see everything is fine...” He pursed his lips.

Harry let out a shaky breath, his eyes meeting mine as we shared this understanding from the feet separating us.

“Yeah, I'm going to go,” Jeff said loudly, as if he thought we couldn't hear him, With my eyes on Harry it felt as if I could drown out the rest of the world around me and focus solely on his electric green eyes.

Harry nodded.

“Yeah, okay.” And the door shut a moment later.

Harry let out a long breath, closing his eyes and leaning his head back against the bricks. “Why is everything so difficult?” he asked.

I crossed my arms. He had no idea.

“How did my life get to this moment where I suddenly start to question everything?” he said, opening his eyes to look at me, searching my face for answers. “When everything was starting to fall into place... Boom— you happen.”

I swallowed and looked away. I couldn't shove away the guilt sinking to the bottom of my spine. One of us is always pushing away. Never hot or cold, but somehow switching back and forth. I had to be the cold one right now.

“We've been gone for a while,” I mumbled. “they're probably wondering where we are.”

He stared at me for a moment, gauging my emotions. Then, he slowly nodded. “Yeah, you're right.” He walked toward me, grabbing my hand in his. Letting his thumb brush over my knuckles as he thought. “We'll talk about this soon,” he promised, looking me straight in the eyes. “we'll figure things out.”

I gave him a small smile, wrapping my other hand over the top of his. “Yeah, we'll figure everything out,” I mumbled.

He gave me a smile, bending down to press a lingering kiss to the corner of my mouth, before letting go and walking to the door. I stood and watched him retreat, my hand falling limp.

“See you in a minute,” he said.

The door closed in reply.

I gave it a couple of seconds before gathering myself and opening the door after him.

What just happened?

I shook my head, taking a breath and walking inside. I could hear the music picking up from the speakers in the room and suddenly I didn't feel like hanging out anymore. I wanted to go home and gather my thoughts.

“What are you doing?” A demand.

I spun around to see Jeff leaning against the inside of the doorway. His leather-clad arms crossed on his chest as his shoulder rested casually on the corner, legs crossed at the ankles. His gold eyes soaked my appearance up like a sponge, I didn't have to ask to know what he was talking about.

“I don't know,” I said honestly. It was the truest statement of my lifetime.

He sighed and pushed himself away from the wall. He chuckled as he walked beside me, the hallway opening up before us and everyone just as we left them.

My eyes immediately found Harry, who sat in a chair at the table across from Elaine. I was suddenly happy with the distance between them.

“You gonna tell him?” Jeff murmured as we approached the table. I watched as he walked to sit by Glenne, his eyes still on me though as he waited for an answer.

I took my seat next to Emi, avoiding his gaze. “Of course,” I mumbled.

He raised an eyebrow. I was acutely aware of the pair of eyes watching us from all around.

I let out a frustrated breath. “Soon, okay?” He was irritating me with his judgmental looks.

Emi leaned over. “Is everything, okay?” Her eyes flicked between me and Harry.

A sudden sense of worry struck me. Could she tell what just happened? Could she see my beating heart through my chest or fluorescent marks burning my skin where Harry’s hands had been? “What do you mean?” I settled with.

“Jeff said you and Harry were arguing outside,” she whispered back.

I let out a sigh of relief. Thank God for Jeff Azoff and his alibis.

I nodded. “Yeah,” I told her. “everything's good. We... we resolved it.” That was a good word for it.

She gave me a smile. “Good, I know I hate it when my friends and I argue.”

My eyes drifted up to Harry, who was coincidentally looking at me too. The corner of his lips lifted and I felt my teeth biting down on my lower lip. What were we doing to each other?

I was pulled from my thoughts when an arm slung around my shoulders. “You were gone for quite a while,” Niall slurred, giving me a lopsided grin.

I rolled my eyes and pushed his arm off. There was only one person who I wanted wrapped around me at the moment. Laughing, I grabbed my water and took a sip. “I was running away from you,” I told him.

Laughter sounded from around the table and for that short moment, life felt flawless.

…

Harry's P.O.V

These days, I never woke up with a smile on my face.

But I did.

Rolling over and stretching out my arms, my teeth flashed and my lips stretched across my face and I was happy. I was truly happy.

It had been two days since I kissed Julia and it's been a whirlwind. She's been on my mind twenty-four seven and it's so hard to focus on the real world when I just want to go and push her up against the wall again. I want to see her big blue eyes and locks of ebony hair. It was too long to be kept from her.

Elaine had left yesterday to visit her family. Some part of me felt bad for taking this time to enjoy the quiet that my flat held now and for wanting to text Julia to see if she wanted to come over. I knew it was wrong that I was so tangled up in her when I was engaged, I just didn't know what to do.

I wanted to be with Julia.

Right now, in this moment, I wanted to take her and drive to some remote town and live out our lives there. Buy a nice house, maybe a couple of years later have a few kids and be a small quiet family. I wanted to run away with her. I wanted her today and tomorrow— hell, the rest of my fucking life.

Why I hadn't thought this sooner— I don't know. I've been holding myself back from the waterfall of feelings that were pouring from me ever since I stepped off that train last month. I knew once I opened up that box there was no going back, there was no stopping the way I felt about her. Julia was so unpredictable and I was such a coward, I was too scared to let her love me, too scared that there would be consequences because people as bright as her don't want people like me.

I had proposed to Elaine because it was something that had been coming for a long time and it was an act others expected out of people like us. They expected them to wrap themselves in a safe haven and once they had been together for a couple years tie the knot like it was simple. Like it was safe and calm and comfortable.

After being with Julia, I knew love wasn't supposed to be like that.

It was supposed to be passionate, spontaneous—but trusting. Never in my life had I kissed someone like I kissed Julia. Never had I so feverishly searched for something in someone that I couldn't find in myself.

I got dressed and ran down my hallway. I needed to tell Julia this. I couldn't keep it in anymore.

“Are you home?” I texted her, while getting in my car in the lot.

Not hesitating a single second, a reply came. “Yeah. Why?”

“I'll be over shortly,” I sent back and floored the gas, following the familiar road to her house.

A/N: This chapter took A LOT of editing on my half, so it’s up a little later than anticipated. & I was 15 when I wrote this and had no idea about pregnancies or OB appointments... so be kind.

 Pls like/reblog if you read my story. It really makes all the difference in my little world:) also, the next chapter is my favorite so I can’t wait to share it with you all.

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[spirit-of-the-void]

Hello sweetheart! I’m back! May I please get a scenario with my flower shop oc where she’s feeling insecure and unworthy of Dante because she’s not a badass babe like Trish and Lady, or just in general? I’m in the mood for your best hurt comfort, and as always I’m so appreciative of your writing! 🌸

Your ask is my request, love

~Dante~

Flower shop Reader–part 2

-After the incident in your flower shop, Dante felt more at ease bringing you to Devil May Cry.

- You knew his real job now, after all. You were eager to see where he lived and worked, his colleagues and fellow demon hunters. A fear was that you wouldn’t live up to how Dante described you, because he admitted to bragging about you a lot.

- Another fear was that he lived with his surly, power hungry brother. Who was also going through a “try-not-to-be-a-dickhead” grace period.

- You had heard the horror stories from Dante when he was feeling vulnerable, opening up about all that had happened with the “older” twin. The conflict, the fighting, the bad things. So Vergil was a bit of an intimidation factor.

- He was apparently mellowing out slowly over time, but Dante told you he rarely showed his face for anything other than missions.

- The first day you were there the building was pretty much how you imagined it. Dante wasn’t the cleanest person, but he made an effort for you. Controlled chaos.

- You and Dante got into a schedule, him visiting your shop and staying over some days and you at Devil May Cry for others. He occasionally had to bounce out for missions, and in those cases you would just stay over in his bed instead of walking home.

- You liked it, being in a space that was purely Dante.

- You met the others in time. Nero first, since he popped by the most of all–shockingly before Vergil.

- Nero was Dante’s nephew, something that had to be explained early on. The fact that Vergil reproduced was surprising, but the fellow demon hunter only recently learned of his relation, a few months before Dante met you. He came over a bit more after that.

- He was nice enough, but he was absolutely flabbergasted to see you, a cute precious flower lady sitting in Dante’s office tending to flowers on a windowsill.

- How had Dante managed to get such a nice girl when the man was a colossal mess? Miracles could happen.

- Meeting Trish and Lady was a bit intimidating. Both were powerful, beautiful women. Shockingly so. And with them came a bit of…insecurity.

- Weeks passed by and that small bud of insecurity bloomed, bigger and bigger each time Dante interacted with them. It was so unlike you to compare yourself to others, but in this case…

- Seeing them help Dante fight, bantering with him, lounging around Devil May Cry…they looked like they belonged around him. You were weak in comparison, only capable of flashy plant abilities that could easily be countered by strong demons. Not a fighter by any stretch.

- They were confident and brave, where you felt…small, weak, too shy for most things. You couldn’t be useful to Dante like they could.

- Even when it came to healing, Dante usually healed fast on his own. Missions always ended up with you sitting behind, knowing the two ladies were kicking ass with him, by his side.

- You were so out pf place here, a small flower in a field of thorns.

- You felt bad for feeling that way. Eventually, you came up with excuses to not go to Devil May Cry, feeling glum and saddened with yourself. How could Dante want you of all people when there were so many strong women already in his life?

- It was a selfish thought, but you couldn’t bring yourself to confront it.

- It didn’t help that the girls didn’t know what to think of you either–they said their occasional hellos where they saw you in the office, coupled with surprised looks. Similar to Nero in that regard. It didn’t make sense to them either.

- But Dante could tell you were upset. After you flaked out on Devil May Cry a fifth time, he grew worried he may have done something to upset you. The very notion made him feel like a colossal asshole–you were the sunshine of his life, his saving grace.

- Coming home to your warmth and your smile was his biggest happiness. So of course he would notice when that smile was a bit…less enthusiastic, coupled with glum looks and gloomy sensations.

- After another mission he decided to stop by and see you at your home, surprised when he walked upstairs and found you curled up on the couch, spacing out and hugging a pillow to your chest.

- You didn’t even notice him come in, looking incredibly upset and crestfallen. The look you wore broke his heart into a million pieces, further convincing him that he had done something wrong.

- “Sunshine?” He asked, making you jump despite how soft his tone was. Your gaze darted up to his face, cheeks flushing when you saw him standing in the doorway, “I thought you were working on some last minute orders…but you’re up here.”

- You looked away, a bit of panic in your gaze. Caught in a lie.

- “I…um…” You mumbled, struggling to find your cheerful facade again as you kept your gaze on your feet, “I…finished early…?”

- A terrible liar. You were such a bad liar.

- Dante was not fooled, raising a brow and crossing his arms as he leaned on the door frame.

- “That so?” He mused, tapping his fingers on his biceps, “‘Cause I looked down there. No orders that I could see in the prep room.”

- Your face flushed more as your lies crumbled to pieces, arms squeezing your legs a little bit closer and tongue completely tied. What could you say? No excuse could hold up now.

- But Dante’s expression shifted, to a look you rarely saw on him. Worry, concern, and a hint of…panic? He looked scared, like he was the one who had been caught doing something wrong.

- He took a few measured steps toward you, placing one of his hands on your hair and stroking it back gently. His touch was so nice, but you felt awful for lying to him. Terrible. Eyes tearing up, threatening to spill over just at that.

- “You gonna tell me what’s wrong?” Dante murmured, crouching down so he could press a kiss to your temple, “Did I do something? I’m a bit of a dumbass, so you’re gonna have to tell me if I do something stupid. Side effect of being a dumbass.”

- He was trying to calm his worry and emotions with humor. Not the best coping mechanism, but one you recognized.

- He thought that he did something wrong? Well now, that only made you feel worse about being upset. More tears came, rolling down your cheeks now as you flung your arms around his neck, hugging yourself to him as tight as you could.

- Dante grunted at the action, holding you close as he mumbled, “Shit, that bad? You gotta talk to me, babe–I can’t read that beautiful mind of yours.”

- You sniffled, tone a bit raw as you whimpered, “I’m sorry…I..I didn’t mean for you to think you did something wrong…you didn’t do anything.”

- Dante seemed confused, plopping down on the couch with you in his lap as he plucked some loose petals from your hair.

- “Then what?” He murmured, pulling you back so he could look at your face. His expression was gentle, coaxing, mimicking his warm toned voice as he added, “You know I can take anything, baby. Anything.”

- You put a hand to his fuzzy cheek, feeling his own fingers wipe away a few of your tears. He was so sweet to you, so kind and wonderful. But he was also strong, capable, rough around the edges. Brave. All things you felt you weren’t.

- “Why did you choose me?” You mumbled, feeling a bit anxious as you admitted, “Lady and Trish…they’re so strong, beautiful…I’m no demon hunter, I’m not strong. I…can’t fight anything.”

- You felt helpless compared to them.

- Dante sucked in a breath, shock on his face at your words. Wow, he felt like an even bigger douchebag now that it clicked with him.

- What he had been seeing on your face the past few days was insecurity. Fear, hopelessness. He never considered for a second that you seeing him interact with the other women would make you feel this way, like you had to compare yourself.

- Christ, was it that some of his actions might have implied he valued strength more? It didn’t help that everyone who saw you had to fucking comment on how strange it was to see such a “nice girl” with him.

- But he always took that for what it was–a jibe at him. They never meant it to imply you didn’t absolutely add to his life, belong in his life. It was more so an insult at him for being a colossal dumbass snagging an absolutely angelic woman.

- He never imagined you would take it as a comment against you. Christ, he was a huge dickhead.

- “Sunshine…” He murmured, leaning forward to kiss your forehead as he sighed, “I chose you because you are the most beautiful, wonderful, strongest woman I have ever met.”

- You blushed at that, tone doubtful as you mumbled, “B…but I…”

- Dante put a finger to your lips, shushing you.

- “First of all, Trish is a photocopy version of my mother,” Dante explained, making a bit of a face as he thought about it, “So that would never happen. And even if she wasn’t, she’s not my type personality wise. As in I’d be afraid of her stabbing me and stealing my cash after.”

- You blinked, not knowing that first detail at all.

- “Second of all,” Dante continued, rubbing one of those petals between his fingers, “I’m not attracted to Lady either. Sure, she’s a good fighter. But she’s shot me in the head before and that’s not the kind of thing I can let go. I’ve never been attracted to either of them.”

- He turned his gaze back to your face, tucking the flower petal back where he found it as he smirked at you.

- “But with you…well, I was a nervous mess just trying to talk to you,” He chuckled, scratching the back of his head, “Imagine me, walking into a shop and seeing what equated to a living fae walking around. You carry yourself with the most wonderful, ethereal energy. Looked me right in the eyes and slayed me where I stood.”

- “Dante…” You mumbled, feeling a bit embarrassed and wishing you could hide behind your shirt.

- But Dante pressed his lips to yours, making you sigh breathlessly for a moment as you shared each other’s warmth.

- “You are the kindest woman I know,” Dante murmured, his breath grazing your plump lips as he stared steadily into your eyes, “The strongest. It takes strength to be kind to everyone you meet, to keep this shop going even after a bad encounter. To stay with me, accepting what I do for a living and embracing it.”

- He lifted your fingers to your lips, pressing a kiss to your palm and ticking your skin with his whiskers.

- “’Wasn’t lyin’ when I said you were my sunshine,” He mumbled, clearing his throat and sounding a bit sheepish, “Once I had you I couldn’t live without you. Coming home to your warmth was the one thing my life needed, more than anything. And that’s something the other girls can never compare to. My dumb ass has been happier than I have ever been.”

- His words made your eyes tear up again, cheeks so very warm and heart full. Leave it to Dante to say exactly what you wanted to hear, to soothe you despite how silly it all seemed.

- “You make me happy too,” You mumbled, pressing a kiss to his jaw and resting your face on his neck, “So happy. I’m sorry…this was all such a silly thing to be upset about.”

- “I disagree,” Dante huffed, leaning his head back and closing his eyes, “Doesn’t help when every god damn person feels the need to point out how shocking it is you’re dating me. It was never meant for you babe–more so to make fun of me for being a colossal mess of a man.”

- “I think you’re wonderful.” You mumbled, closing your eyes too and resting on his chest. He was so warm, so comfortingly solid underneath you. There was some embarrassment about such a suggestive pose, but you ignored it.

- Dante chuckled, the sound rumbling under your ear as he replied, “You say that until you see how I balance a checkbook. The answer being I don’t.”

- “I’ve seen your diet and living space.” You smiled softly, remembering your first time at Devil May Cry. Pizza in the fridge, beer, and ice cream. That chaotic feeling, the barely-there attempt at cleaning…he was certainly a mess. A wonderful mess.

- “If I can get past that…anything is possible.”

- Dante hummed lightly in appreciation, pulling a lock of your hair to his lips and kissing it, “See? Strong. That takes major guts.”

- You rolled your eyes, letting out a light sigh at his words. You would admit, talking to him lifted a weight from your chest, making you feel a lot better about everything. And Dante…he was determined to do better for you, to remind you how much you meant to him.

- When he returned back to Devil May Cry the next day, he called over Trish and Lady and Nero. They were reprimanded instantly for their constant picking on him, Dante incredibly pissed that they couldn’t have the common sense to realize their shit was effecting you.

- Well. He was upset at himself too, but they didn’t need to know that.

- “You dusty assholes upset my girl,” He growled, narrowing his eyes on the surprised three, “You made her feel like she wasn’t wanted here. I could personally murder all of you for that.”

- All three were mortified, apologizing immediately. None of them knew it would have such an effect. Christ, they adored you. The impact you had on Devil May Cry made it much more enjoyable, livable. The air was cleaner, the space more organized, flowers on the windows. Animals and people could now thrive there.

- You were sweet and soft, they felt bad. And promised to be nicer.

- You knew nothing of this exchange, of course. Dante didn’t want you to feel bad after already being miserable for a while.

- But in the coming weeks, the girls started offering to teach you more ways to fight with your magic. To help you spar, basic self defense. Nero started commenting more on how good you were for Dante, how happy his uncle seemed now.

- And as for Dante’s brother, you met him once. He passed you in the main foyer on his way out for a mission, sparing you a sharp look that made you freeze in place.

- But a smirk tilted his lips, one eyebrow quirked at the scene laid out before him. You could understand how he felt, seeing Dante asleep on the couch with his head in your lap. Absolutely peaceful. 

- For a second…you were sure his face softened for a bit, barely noticeable before it bounced back to being sharp.

- “I’m glad to see someone could finally tame my brother,” He commented in a bemused tone, turning and strolling past with just that one glance, “There could be peace and quiet in this house yet.”

- You blinked after him, meaning to open your mouth and reply but he didn’t wait. There for a moment, gone just as quick with the double doors closing behind him.

- But his comment made you feel oddly pleased, like you had gotten approval from the final hurdle of the household.

- And if you could get that…maybe you were as strong as Dante claimed you were?

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