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#my postoperative appointment is on Tuesday
iinsawdious · 11 months
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I am achey ang eepy but my top surgery went well!
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blackvail22 · 1 year
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i talk here a bunch each day because i have no one else to talk to.
its sad, honestly.
i couldnt go to my counseling appointment, so i wont be able to see her again for another 2 weeks
thats nearly a month since ive seen her
im not doing very well so this isnt good at all lmao
idk how im going to make it another 2 weeks but all i can do is try ...
i think i start work again next week. im afraid of what has changed... probably not a lot. all i know is we have a new manager, and ive heard he's nice
i have a postop appt on tuesday for my tonsillectomy. finally i will have what my disease means explained to meeee. i keep thinking about it, and its been bothering me. i probably wont know if i have another surgery until after my next ct scan (they have to space them out so i dont get exposed to too much radiation and i had one less than a month ago) and idk when that is
im so bored. i have to be the problem
i really think i am
"my friends wont reach out" but when i reach out its super dry and they varely engage. maybe im seeing it in the wrong perspective. maybe my vision is skewed, and im seeing it in the wrong light.
maybe its because theyre busy
maybe at work
going to work
hanging out with other friends
going to hang out with other friends
i want to have a good friend group so bad but i feel like i cant have one
i feel like my only friend was em even though she used me. oh, i dont know if i ever told u the reason why we arent friends anymore
so, i dont have the best memory of the order everything happened, but ill do my best to sort it out
after spending a bunch of time together, we started to fade away. i would ask her if she wanted to spend the night, she would hesitate for a good 30 minutes, talk to her mom, and then say "sure". sometimes she wouldnt wait until we ate dinner (but a good amount of times she did) until shed say "oh i forgot something at home" or "my stomach hurts" and id walk to her house with her (except the times when she'd tell me not to).
when i walked with her, she would always say "ill be right back" and then shed be gone for 10 minutes and her mom would come out and be like "hey... she doesnt feel well so she's going to say home". and each time i would walk home crying. at this point, she was already blowing me off, not talking to me, and overall being rude, but i still went back to her every time.
this rare occasion was in early september of 2017. we only hung out, and then she said she had someone else shes hanging w at her house. she had become friends with people that hated my sister as well as a girl that honestly no one knows. em started to become them... like literally she became a copy of them. the whole group of girls would tell her that my sister is a fat, ugly whore. they fed her all of this, and they would talk and call my sister names and generally talk shit about her
a few days after i heard abt this, i saw things from em that she was having a hard time. i was outside doing yard work, and she was walking by. i said "hey, i hope you feel better" and she yelled "fuck you" at me while, again, giving me the finger.
i dont know what i did, but that was the last time in years that we would talk to each other. we would be "friends" on the bus the few days she went to school sophomore year...
now, though? i dont exist to her. i saw her at my work TWICE this past year, once being on my recent birthday, and she pretended she didnt know me. i look the same as i did before... this most recent time, she was with her boyfriend, one of the friends from '17 and her mom. as i greeted them, everyone looked over except her... her mom even did a double take.
she claims she doesnt know why our friendship went to shit when we were toxic to each other our whole friendship. it was never healthy.
she seems to be happy though, at least happier than me. shes pregnant again. im not sure of the gender, but i think its going to be a boy. she's always wanted to be a mom, so i hope shes a good one.
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11 days postop of a hysterectomy that took my uterus, tubes, cervix and two giant fibroids and a small fibroid.
Let's back up to 4:30am day before surgery. Travis woke up to having to puke his guts out for the rest of the day into Monday, day of my surgery. Parents to the rescue and my mom took me to my Monday surgery. Tuesday after our one kid had a major asthma attack on top of having ear infections in both ears, plus travis still not 100% from food poisoning. Here comes last weekend where the other kid ends up with pink eye in both eyes and ear infections in both ears as well. My mom has been here and it really has been me taking care of her and me stressing out. Yesterday was my postop appointment and it didn't go the way I was hoping. Still can't drive and my doctor emphasized of doing NOTHING for 10 weeks. It was a big bummer cause all my incisions are basically healed but my inners need way more time I guess. Then today, my car broke when my mom was driving it, driving us to do some errands. She hit a pothole and my muffler system fell apart and it felt like something happened to my front passenger tire. Side not is that I have a new car waiting for me at my aunt and uncle's in eastern pa and I just need this car to last me for a month until I get cleared to drive. The event today though was my breaking point and I had a breakdown, big time. Another side note is that 95% of the time I have been driven by my parents for some reason or another the car that they are driving breaks somehow. I had to get on the ground and see what happened to the car, see what broke. Remember I just had a hysterectomy 11 days ago. I felt bad for my mom and tried to tell her it wasn't her fault and asked her if I could just be by myself for awhile. She walked back to her Airbnb which is a 10 minute walk from our house. I crawled into bed and bawled my eyes out uncontrollably for a good 30 minutes until travis got home from work and came upstairs and talked me through to being calm again.
Now he and our friend Dave temporarily fixed my car to hold me over, I definitely strained some stomach muscles from sobbing and slight discharging a bit more than I was because I probably strained my stitches at my cuff. My sister arrived in town to relieve my mom, which was the plan to begin with, and they have been chilling at the Airbnb. I have been couched bound all eve and will probably be for the foreseeable future. I just needed to vent somewhere.
I've been asking the universe to just make things go smoothly, calm things down. So please universe, please let things calm down.
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thessalian · 7 years
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Thess vs Admissions
I understand where Admissions are coming from. I really do. We make their lives a nightmare. Unfortunately, their solution to this is to make our lives a living nightmare ... and honestly, it rebounds back onto the admin staff both ways.
We have theatre on Tuesday as previously stated, and at the moment, that theatre list only has three patients on it. However, we also have a Tuesday morning clinic chock full of follow-up appointments, second opinions and new patients who brought scans with them. This potentially means a complete deluge of last-minute injection bookings. I know it, and frankly Admissions knows it too. This does not stop them for asking for incredibly stupid things.
OfficeMate came in for an hour to do something that Head Consultant really apparently needed doing (because he can’t handle his own travel paperwork, apparently) and Admissions called her - again, because they have never figured out that OfficeMate is not in on a Friday no matter how many times I tell them, and her having picked up the phone today is just going to encourage them - saying that they wanted an estimate of tomorrow’s theatre numbers because they wanted to shut down one of the wards. Not for any particular reason, as far as I can tell - just to spare themselves the work.
They know that doesn’t work that way when Head Consultant is doing a theatre list...
So OfficeMate explains that it’s possible that we will have a fairly impressive collection of last-minute theatre bookings on Tuesday, and she says it in that very insistent way that indicates that she’s getting a lot of resistance on the other end. Eventually, she gets her point across and explains the situation. I’m glad she did, because Admissions decided to try their luck again after OfficeMate left. And the guy running Admissions at the moment got me.
Dear gods, this guy is persistent. He kept saying as how “[OfficeMate] can always give me a ballpark figure” (I don’t know the criteria she’s using, you jackass); how “I won’t hold you to it; I just want a general idea” (despite the fact that you’re clearly angling for an excuse to shut down that ward and if I say anything that will in some way interfere with the ability to book patients into theatre if need be, I’m going to get my head bitten off). I can’t even tell him that I would prefer to err on the side of caution here and why, because when I tried that, he insisted that he wanted specific numbers, even though he wasn’t going to hold me to them. Talking about, “Well, I know you might say that you might have five but end up with more or less than that, but I just want--”
WHY THE FUCK DO YOU WANT A NUMBER WHEN YOU KNOW IT DOESN’T MEAN ANYTHING?
In the end, because I had no desire to potentially shut down a bed that someone might need just because Admissions is scrambling for an excuse to shut a ward for the day, I looked over the clinic list for Tuesday morning and noted everyone who could even potentially be called in for injections that day. That includes:
New patients coming in with scans
New patients coming in without scans (because they might be rushed in for emergency MRI and pushed onto the list the same day; it’s happened before)
Patients coming in for follow-up post-MRI
Patients coming in for follow-up in general (likelihood is high that they were told to try physio and anti-inflammatories and it didn’t work so injection is next)
New patients coming in for a second opinion
Post-injection patients (because most patients undergoing cortisone injections need two sets of injections before things settle properly)
Post-surgical patients (because sometimes patients who have undergone surgery have some postoperative swelling and the injections help to alleviate that so they can go do physio)
So ... basically every single patient is a potential candidate for last-minute theatre booking. In the end, I told the Admissions guy that it was possible that we might end up with the entire theatre list full by Tuesday lunchtime.
I didn’t say it was likely; I said it was possible. I may hate last-minute havoc but I’m not going to make it any harder on myself or anyone else by encouraging Admissions to shut a ward down for the day when that could result in panicked phone calls about there not being enough beds on the actual day when there’s no time for shenanigans like that.
Also I had to change the procedure code chart again today, and book all manner of last-minute shit. *confetti* I am so looking forward to this weekend, you have no idea.
Speaking of, Mum asked if I wanted to come to dinner this weekend. She asked in an email sent last night. I wish I could explain to my mother that I need more than 2-3 days’ lead time before a social event. And seriously, this weekend I mostly need to do some chores, run some RP and not leave the house for any reason.
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3 weeks post-op today. Believe my last appointment with Dr. McLean is on Tuesday. #ftm #trans #transgender #topsurgery #postop #drmclean
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judahblhq051-blog · 7 years
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