#my personal favourite of them is raj’s but i had to post my two favourite guys to my blog where i post about them | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

marmolady · 6 years ago

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“It’s his favourite movie...”

Book/Series: Endless Summer

Main Pairings: Estela x MC/Taylor (f)

Summary: Post-ending (Endless ending). Recalling a most intriguing creation of Rourke’s from the Endless’ memories, what kind of friend would Taylor be if she didn’t indulge Diego in some well-intentioned Freaky Friday shenanigans?

Warnings: Coarse language, sexual references. A lot of silliness. Much stupidity.

Word Count: 5518

Tagging: @brightpinkpeppercorn @sceptilemasterr @bbaba-yagaa@edgydepressedchoicesthot @endlesssummerfan @blightarts @princessstellaris @acidsugar0 @taramitch96

“You’re telling me you’ve never seen Freaky Friday? What have you even been doing with your life?”

“Taking out fascist dictators and demanding justice for good people. What have you been doing with your life?”

Diego spluttered. It seemed someone had forgotten to put on her sense of humour when she got up in the morning.

“That’s what I thought. So, are you gonna tell me what you two are up to?” Estela looked from one suspicious face to the other. She’d caught Diego and Taylor whispering in a corner, talking about some movie and looking extremely shifty.

Taylor took out the device and handed it to her. “This thing I picked up from MASADA. It’s basically a body swap machine. It can put the mind of one person in someone else’s body.”

The grin had returned to Diego’s face, the anticipation all too much for him. “Basically, it makes for the best prank in history. We’ve just gotta pick our targets and -boom!- Freaky Friday time! And that, my friend, is how you win April Fools’ Day.”

Estela raised an eyebrow. “And you think this thing actually works? If Rourke had a weapon like that, why wouldn’t he use it?”

“What? No! It’s not a weapon! Taylor, she’s taking the fun out of it…”

Taylor shrugged. “Well, she’s got a point. In the wrong hands, this could be really dangerous. But I think Rourke made it just for fun. When I saw it used in the Endless’ memories, Aleister said it was his favourite movie.”

“I found the DVD in the VIP lounge, and it’s had some serious playback. Rourke was a psycho and all that, but even he had to nurture his inner movie nerd.”

“So, it worked in this alternate timeline you saw?”

“Yup,” Taylor nodded. “And we’re being careful. I checked with IRIS. She says it’s fully functional and ready to go. We’ve just got to test it out and get the hang of using it.”

Diego’s hand shot up in the air. “I volunteer! I volunteer as tribute!”

Estela gave him a look that dashed his hopes and dreams in a second. “Nope. I don’t trust you with my body or the body of the woman I sleep with every night. Besides… that’s my line.”

“I love you, Diego, but I don’t really wanna get stuck married to you either,” Taylor admitted.

Crestfallen, he sighed. “Well, I guess that makes sense. So, you guys are gonna…?”

Estela frowned, but nodded. “Of the possible worst-case scenarios, that would be the least screwed up.” She looked at Taylor with an expression that could only be read as, I hope you know, you owe me big for this.

“Haha! I am gonna be so hot!” Taylor laughed as she saw her wife’s cheeks go a little pink. It was all too easy, but she loved having that effect on Estela. “Come on, let’s do this thing.”

Diego took the device and began to fiddle with it. “Okay, this should be on ‘safety mode’, so you’ll be able to see that you’re in range of the machine. Just make sure you stay in the glowy area, and I’ll have you switched in no time.”

Taylor took Estela’s hand with a playful smile. “Aren’t you so glad you checked in on what shenanigans we were up to?”

“I’d rather be on the inside than one of your victims, so yeah. But tonight, we get to do something I want to do, all right?”

“Thankfully our favourite night-time activities tend to align.” Taylor gave a cheeky wink. “Better hope we don’t get stuck…”

There was a small flash.

“Did it work?” asked Diego, shaking with anticipation. There had been no need, the looks on their faces told him all he needed to know.

Taylor, or at least, a person who looked like Taylor, wore an expression that would have been appropriate should she have been clubbed over the head.

‘Estela’ burst out laughing. “What’s that face for? You look cute! This is so weird…”

Estela, who looked rather like Taylor, shook herself, trying to avoid eye contact with her partner. Being stared at by your own face was creepy as all hell. “I don’t like it.”

Diego, in contrast, was jumping up and down, clapping his hands. “Why am I not filming this? If it wasn’t for the accent, we could have seen how long we could fool everyone!”

“Uh, the accent and the fact that ‘I’ve’ suddenly acquired a resting bitch face. Besides, then the jig will be up before we can indulge in some well-placed mischief.”

“How are you not more creeped out by this?”

Taylor shrugged her shoulders… Estela’s shoulders?... whatever. “I guess I’ve already seen myself through the memories the Endless gave me. And, you know, looked at the Endless. I’m pretty unflappable with the weird and wonderful these days. But maybe we should switch back… just so we know it works. I feel like this is gonna be awkward in the bedroom if we’re stuck like this.”

Estela shuddered. “God! Please.”

Pouting, Diego fiddled with the device. “You people are no fun at all. But as unofficial sponsor of your romantic relationship, I guess I’ll zap you back.”

There was another flash. Seeing Taylor --as Taylor-- in front of her, Estela pulled her into a hug.

“Thank fuck,” she said. Releasing her wife, who was doubled over laughing, she roughly took the device out of Diego’s hands. “It’s not that I don’t trust you with this, but…”

“Welp, there goes the brightest spot in my life…”

“I’m gonna tell Varyyn you said that-“

“Wha- No! Taylor!”

“So,” Estela stashed the device in the inside of her hoodie. “What’s your plan?”

Before sun-up on April Fools’ Day morning. A positively giddy Diego was let into Taylor and Estela’s suite.

“So, we’re 100% set on our targets?” Taylor queried.

Diego shrugged. “I’m still all for a hotel-wide complete mix-up, but I guess this is fine.”

“Right. You keep an eye on the surveillance cameras, and if you’re sure they’re both asleep, give us a call over the radio, and Estela goes in.”

“Wait- won’t their door be locked?”

“Estela has the master key. Obviously.”

Diego looked at Estela with his mouth hanging open. “When did you get that?”

“The day we arrived.” Estela shrugged nonchalantly. “It’s a lot easier to search the place when you can get into every room.”

‘It’s nice to get a little reminder to always stay a tiny bit scared of you…”

Sometime later, Taylor and Diego waited in the atrium, having overseen Estela’s successful zapping of a sleeping Craig and Zahra. Diego would be switched too, for he would have it no other way, but wanting to be surprised, he decided that the unsuspecting victim should be whichever unfortunate person wandered downstairs first. And then there was Raj, strolling down to make breakfast.

“Taylor! Kitchen- kitchen, now!” Diego spluttered, and the two of them ran to lay their trap.

While Diego stood by the stovetop, doing his best attempt at nonchalance, Taylor lurked behind the solid counter, out of view from the doorway. She waited for her target to step into the room and then, adrenaline pumping through her, she activated the device.

For a moment, Raj -in Diego’s body- blinked rapidly and swayed on the spot, his eyes on his on form which was inexplicably standing before him. Instinctively, he reached for his pocket, only to find he was wearing Diego’s pants. “Where’s my…?” he mumbled.

Diego, trying not to squeal with excitement, pulled a packet out of Raj’s pocket and handed it to ‘himself’. “Maybe you should lay off that stuff for a while…”

“Yeah… yeah, I think I’ll sleep this one off…” Staggering a little, he turned back towards the door. “Thanks, Raj!” he called to Diego.

With Raj gone, Taylor came out from behind the counter. “Huh. That was kind of a non-event,” she said. “Though, to be fair, this being a weird drug trip is more believable than ‘got zapped by a Freaky Friday machine’.”

Standing by the reflective surface of the shiny metal fridge, Diego did a twirl. “Taylor, look! I’ve been Freaky Friday-ed!”

Estela stepped into the room and scowled. “You switched with Raj? There goes breakfast…”

Diego immediately deflated. “Ah.”

“And where is he?”

“Uh… back to bed I think…” It suddenly occurred to Diego that he’d better keep an eye on where his body was actually going.

“Hey, I’ll go after him,” said Taylor quickly. “If he sees himself chasing after him, he might do a runner. You can, uh… make breakfast?”

She made a beeline for Raj’s room and hammered on the door. Furball made an appearance, watching her with curiosity. “Raj, my man, you in there? It’s Taylor- just checking in, nothing to worry about.” Crap, girl, could you sound any more suspicious?

For several more minutes she banged on the door, until she was joined by Estela.

“Estela-“ Taylor hissed. “I don’t think he’s in there! Where would he go? He can’t just disappear with Diego’s body…”

Estela’s brow furrowed. This piece of harmless mischief was turning out to be more trouble than it was worth. She made a mental note not to leave Taylor and Diego unsupervised with each other for too long in the future. “He’d just woken up, he wouldn’t have gone far.” She threw the master key to Taylor. “Check he’s not in there and just completely out of it. I’ll keep an eye out for Craig and Zahra getting up.”

Leaving Taylor to search for Raj, Estela sat down and waited. Zahra wasn’t much of a sleeper- she’d be rummaging in the kitchen seeking out coffee soon enough. Or she would have been if she were herself… in Craig’s body, she was probably blissfully unconscious. With that in mind, Craig was probably already awake, but Estela suspected he’d be slow on the uptake.

A skittering of tiny claws on tile suddenly caught her attention. Trusting her gut feeling, Estela stood up and followed the footsteps into the lobby. There was Furball, bouncing around merrily, holding in his jaws… the device.

“How did you…?” Goddammit, Diego! Having left the device with him in the kitchen, it seemed the idiot had been distracted enough by his situation to let his guard down dangerously low. Estela approached cautiously, giving a low whistle to try and entice the fox closer.

Furball eyed her suspiciously, and readjusted his hold on his exciting prize. All he knew was, this weird metal box was interesting to the humans, so it had to be something good.

Then, strolling in from the atrium came Grace, greeting the day cheerily as ever.

“Good morning!” she said brightly.

“Uh, hi,” Estela replied after a long silence, preoccupied as she was with getting at Furball, who’d turned out to be a slippery little creature. As she reached for him, he scampered underneath a table and chewed on the device with gusto. “Furball!” she hissed, crawling after him. “Drop that!”

There was a bright flash, and a loud stream of fruity language.

‘Estela’, or rather, Grace, stood up, an expression of frightened confusion on her face. “Wh-what happened?” Her eyes grew wide as they laid on… herself?

“Get hold of the fox!”

But Furball had taken off at a run. Estela took Grace’s hand and hurtled after him. In the rush, Grace tripped and fell, and in the time it took Estela to pull her to her feet, the quick fox had vanished.

Estela huffed. This was just excellent.

Having had no luck finding Raj in his room, Taylor was on a mission. The elevator door buzzed open, and standing inside were none other than her first victims, making her all but jump out of her skin.

“Look who it is,” ‘Craig’ said, his tone uncharacteristically icy. “Our friend, Taylor.”

“Hello, you two!” Taylor cried, excessively enthusiastic. “How are you this morning? Sleep well?”

Receiving a hard nudge from ‘Craig’, ‘Zahra’ spoke. “Uh… I never sleep well,” she said. “I’ve got that… not… sleeping… thing.”

‘Craig’s’ gaze was pointedly on Taylor, searching for weakness. “Obviously, I could sleep through the apocalypse…”

“-That’s not true!-“

“But Z was awake. Noticed a disturbance. So… any reason why your wife might have been creeping around our room at four in the morning?”

Taylor contorted her face into an expression that she believed to portray sweet innocence. How successful she was could be debated.

“You must have dreamed it. She has a way of getting inside people’s heads… it might be the staring, to be honest… I should talk to her about that…”

‘Craig’s’ eyes narrowed, while ‘Zahra’ was looking over herself with an air of amusement, poking and prodding her own body with clear fascination. She was taken by surprise as ‘Craig’ smacked her over the head.

“Hey! That’s not fair; you’re bigger than me!”

Taylor couldn’t hide her smirk. “Is something the matter? You two… don’t look like you’re feeling yourselves.” Oh god, Zahra is actually gonna murder me.

“Actually-“ ‘Zahra’ began, before receiving an elbow in the ribs. “You know you’re only hurting yourself?”

“Worth it. And shut your dumbass face.”

“It’s your…”

A look was all it took to silence ‘Zahra’. ‘Craig’ cleared his throat and continued to stare Taylor down. Clearly, she was behind it, but she stood firm under what should have been a withering gaze.

To Taylor’s relief, the elevator touched down in the atrium, saving her from a glare so scorching it would have impressed Estela. And then, there she was, just outside the elevator as it opened up.

“Oh, good morning!” she said shakily, a look of nervous confusion on her face.

Immediately, ‘Craig’ surged forwards. “I don’t know what you did to us, but you’ve got an hour to fix this bullshit or…”

‘Estela’ cowered away, eyes wide with fear. “Please- I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re talking about…”

“Oh, no, no, no, no, no…” Taylor stammered. There was no way on earth that was Estela.

After the briefest moment of realisation, Zahra and Craig roared with laughter.

“Ah, Tayls, ain’t karma a bitch?”

Taylor ignored them, focused instead on the poor imitation of her wife. “Shit…” She rubbed her forehead, thinking that she’d need a stiff drink before the day was out… and Estela would be needing an even bigger one. “…Okay… who am I talking to?”

“Grace,” came the meek reply, which was met with howls of mirth.

“Oh, Grace! I’m sorry! Wh-where’s Estela?”

“She went after Furball; he ran off with your body swap machine.”

“Wait, what?” Taylor’s eyes bulged; the device… Diego had hold of it… surely, he’d not been so careless? “Double shit. Shit, shit, shit…”

Quick on the uptake, Zahra, who was in Craig’s body, grabbed him by the hand… her own hand?... and pulled him along after her.

“Hey- you can’t just run off!” Taylor protested, falling on conveniently deaf ears.

Zahra paused momentarily to give her a sly grin, something which looked rather bizarre on Craig’s face. “We’re going fox hunting. And just a warning, Tayls, my good friend, when I get hold of your body swap machine, you are screwed.”

As Taylor made to chase after them, raucous shouts rang out from the kitchen. “Diego!”

She turned and bolted to the sound of the kerfuffle, to find Diego-in-Raj-form cowering behind a worktop while his own likeness angrily waved a frying pan at him. Upon seeing Taylor, Raj-in-Diego-form pointed the pan accusingly at ‘himself’.

“Taylor, you’ve gotta help me… it’s an imposter! I thought it was me, that I was just tripping- I’ve seen that before. But then I smelled it- whatever that thing is burned our breakfast! That’s not me… that’s not me…”

“Raj…”

He kept on muttering to himself. “I’ve seen some weird stuff on this island, dude, but an evil-breakfast-burning twin… nah, it’s too much… too much, dude…”

“Hey! That’s not an evil twin. That’s Diego. Have you looked at yourself?”

“Die-wha?” Confused, Raj looked down, then back at Diego. “Ohhhh. Huh. That’s new.”

Diego hung his head. “Sorry about breakfast. When I Freaky Friday-ed us, I forgot that I’m like the guy in Ratatouille who can’t cook- but I don’t have a cooking genius rat to save me.”

A little stunned, Raj looked at his reflection in the door of the shiny, metallic refrigerator, watching his movements taking place in Diego’s body as a vessel, fascinated.

“Happy April Fools’ Day, Raj!” Diego cried, now confident that he wouldn’t have his friend’s lucky pan lobbed at his head. “Did we bring it, or did we bring it?”

“You most definitely brought it, my friend! Except for breakfast. That’s the saddest thing I’ve smelled in months. It’s borderline offensive, and you created it while wearing my innocent face.”

Taylor could breathe a sigh of relief. One missing person, found. If it wasn’t for the unfortunate Grace-Estela incident, the missing device, and the fact that a dangerously beefed-up Zahra was now on the warpath, she might call the ‘harmless’ prank a success.

“Right,” she said, “why don’t the two of you stay here, and fix breakfast up. I know Diego’s crap, but he doesn’t need a cooking genius rat… he has a cooking genius Raj.”

Her companions looked at her with wonderment.

“He’s not gonna sit on my head and…?”

“No, you dope. Raj is gonna follow you around offering advice and marijuana. Just… roll with it.”

Taylor left them to it, satisfied that she’d put out at least one of the fires she and Diego had unleashed. By the time she returned to the atrium, though, Zahra and Craig were long gone, and Grace was nowhere to be found either.

Estela had tracked Furball all around the lower floor of the hotel, getting close only to have him shoot out icicles defensively the second he felt she was too close to getting hold of his new toy. Furball was quick, and Estela’s new body was unfortunately, rather a downgrade in the physical fitness department, and not nearly as agile as what she was used to. Finding herself out of breath, the little fox seemed to find it all a great game, throwing out streaks of ice as he gambolled through the Celestial. Estela was patient, though. If the fox kept that up, he’d soon become dehydrated; she’d just keep on his tail until he could no longer put up a fight. It was simple, or at least it would be if she could just be left to get the job done.

“Grace?” Aleister called from the lobby. “Are you coming for breakfast?”

Wincing, Estela cursed her own misfortune. Of all the people the damn fox could have switched her with… and, of course, Furball was trotting right towards the sound of the voice. Little shit.

Aleister’s face brightened as he laid eyes on Estela. “Ah, there you are, my dear-”

“I’m busy.”

Taken aback by her abruptness, he immediately became concerned. “Anything I can help w-“

“No.”

As Grace came into the room, it occurred to Estela that she might not appreciate outright hostility towards her lover. Her gaze pointedly averted from her brother’s simpering one, Estela at least made an effort.

“You should… go enjoy… breakfast. Sweetheart.” Feeling as though she might throw up, she turned to see a most horrifically sappy expression on her own face. She shuddered. If the experience had been creepy before, this was something else…

A hand touched her arm, and she impulsively swung a fist round, colliding with Aleister’s startled face.

“I said ‘go’!”

He ran.

“Estela, you can’t just hit him!”

“Sometimes, you’ve gotta be cruel to be kind. I think all three of us will be less traumatised by this fiasco if I can make him stay away. I do not need him trying to stick his tongue down my throat. Besides, it wasn’t as if I could hit him hard, not with these fists.”

With Aleister safely out of the way for the time being, she could resume her pursuit of Furball, now with Grace around to guard potential escape routes.

“Just make sure we don’t lose the fox, and don’t let him get near water. Sooner or later, he’ll give up, and we can fix this. In the meantime, can you please not look at Aleister like that while you’re wearing my face.”

Disturbed by his encounter with ‘his girlfriend’, Aleister wandered towards the restaurant looking appropriately punch-drunk, when he bumped into a rather frazzled Taylor.

“Sorry- could I… borrow you for just a minute?”

“Al, I’m really, really busy. Is it important?”

He scowled. “Do I make a habit of seeking help from you people? Yes, it’s important!”

Taylor raised an eyebrow.

“Sorry, sorry. It’s just… Grace. I’ve done something wrong. I can’t for the life of me think what, but she’s absolutely furious, and it’s something I’ve done. Taylor, she looked at me as if I was a leper…”

“You know, I think Grace is the sort of person who’d be kind to the sick and downtrodden…”

“You’re missing the point! Taylor, you’re skilled at handling… people problems…”

“Okay. Grace isn’t feeling herself today. It’s nothing personal-“

“She punched me in the face.”

“Uh, wrong place, wrong time.” Taylor was not fool enough not to realise that their April Fool’s prank would not appeal to Aleister’s sense of humour… certainly not once he’d been socked in the face by his supposed lover. “This isn’t a good time for her.”

A lightbulb appeared to go off in Aleister’s head. “Are you saying that this is a… er… delicate… ladies’… issue?”

Eh, that’ll do. Can’t be pinned on me, can’t be blamed on himself. “Yeah… something like that. Just give her a little space.”

“Are you sure? I always thought it was at such a time when attentiveness was…”

“Aleister! I told you, I’m busy. There are, like, five other people in this hotel who you can chat menstruation with. Find one of them- but not Grace. Leave her alone, okay? You’ll thank me for that piece of advice.”

She made a move before he could protest. Jesus Christ on a cracker… Well, at least Diego’s having fun.

Diego was, indeed, having fun. It turned out, making breakfast was a lot less stressful once you’d smoked a couple of joints. If he was to pull off a morning as Raj, he was going to do it properly. Now rather more relaxed, and finding himself singing for no apparent reason, he fried up the eggs, wild mushrooms, and giant La Huerta peccary bacon to near perfection under the guidance of his mentor. For his part, Raj was having a whale of a time now that his imposter was no longer seemingly intent on sabotaging his culinary reputation.

A voice came over the intercom… Taylor’s voice.

“We are experiencing a small crisis situation. All residents, please gather in the restaurant where breakfast will be served as normal. Please don’t freak out- all will be resolved shortly. Just… go eat breakfast.”

“Ohmygod!” Diego cried. “An emergency? We’re all gonna die! This is gonna be our least meal- I can’t handle that kind of pressure!” He took a long drag of his joint, and his expression slackened.

“Maybe this is the end…” Raj put a hand on Diego’s shoulder. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. And I say we go out in a blaze of breakfast!”

“Did you just Gandalf me?”

“I’m Diego now, of course I Gandalfed you!”

Diego put a hand over his heart, touched. “You are me! And look at this breakfast… I’m you! This is just…” he sniffed… “so beautiful…”

“Aw, dude… you’ve got so much bottled up in here. Worry, anxiety… you need to get it all out! See, this could be the therapy the world always needed. Isn’t that what Freaky Friday’s all about? Improving your relationships and becoming the best you by seeing the world through someone else’s eyes.”

“Holy epiphany Batman! You’re right!” Diego wiped a tear from his eye. “I’m gonna go out there and serve breakfast like the Raj I am.”

Raj sniffed. “I’m so proud… I love you, dude!”

“I love you too, dude!”

When Taylor returned to the kitchen, both men were lying on the floor, watching a fly buzz around above their heads, rapt.

“Er… everyone okay in here?”

“Taylor, I’m better than okay- I’m Raj…” Diego murmured. “…Look how pretty that fly is… It doesn’t have expectations to meet… It’s just doin’ its thing… like a fly… flying… bzzzzzzzzzzzz…”

“Yes. Yes, it is. All right down there, Raj?”

Raj’s eyes crossed as they tried to follow the fly as it landed on his nose. “I understand everything… we all need to escape… whether we’re getting stoned and watching pretty bugs… or getting lost in a fictional world… we’ve gotta escape, my dudes… we’ve all gotta escape…”

“…Wooooow, we really are the same… bzzzzzzzzzz….”

Something told Taylor that neither of them would be much help. “Right,” she said. “Thankfully, everyone who we haven’t brain-zapped is still in the restaurant finishing breakfast. Thank you, by the way. You two make a surprisingly effective team… or, you did… might be too far gone now. But I should be able to wrap up this fiasco with no more unintended participants being dragged in.”

Furball ran, tripping up over the device that was fast becoming heavy in his small jaws. He skidded out to the poolside and hid in the bushes, Estela hot on his heels, Grace futilely holding out food as a bribe, and Craig following along with interest.

“He’s getting dehydrated- just don’t let him get in the pool-“

Craig’s, or rather Zahra’s eyes grew wide. “Does Furball multiply if he gets wet?”

Estela turned and gave him a look. If there had been any doubt that they’d switched, it was now gone. “Craig, can you grab hold of him? I dunno… pretend he’s a ball or something. That’s what you do, right?”

“I do. But I’m Z now. I feel like I should just stand here with a face like this…” Craig pulled the most exaggerated scowling face he could muster. He pulled out his phone. “I’ll get it all on video… look at me with your best Estela face… yep, just like that!”

Grace, at least, understood the gravity of the situation. “Please, we have to be careful… if Furball drops that in the water, we could be stuck…”

“Grace- Grace! Say ‘Aleister has a sexy ass’ for the camera…”

“No… I- Craig, please don’t antagonise her…”

“What’s she gonna do? She’s in your body. You stole her Ferrari and left her driving a Volvo. I know the feeling… now Z’s got the brawn and the brains… what does that make me…?”

Furball darted out, making a dash for the cover of a deck chair… and heading dangerously close to the water.

“Fuck,” said Estela with Grace’s voice, amusing Craig immensely.

By that point, a curious audience had gathered by the window. Seeing Grace outside, in the midst of an announced crisis, Aleister had no choice but to throw caution to the wind and bring her back to the restaurant -at least until Taylor explained what the hell was going on.

He hurriedly strode over, heading for the person who appeared to be his girlfriend... and ignoring the frantic head-shaking warning from the actual Grace.

“Grace, I…”

“Nope!” Not today, Satan. Estela had had just about enough. She shoved him with all of Grace’s might, sending him flying backwards into the pool.

Fully clothed and utterly bewildered, Aleister hit the water with a colossal splash that brought everyone who hadn’t gathered at the window rushing to watch.

“Chyeeeaaahhh boi!!! Caught! On! Film!” Craig went to high five Grace, but she was too busy rushing to the aid of the unfortunate Aleister.

In the ruckus, Furball bolted- straight into Zahra’s arms… or Craig’s, actually. Startled, the fox dropped the device, and a smug Zahra looked from one panicked face to another.

Taylor burst outside, her eyes round.

Smirking, Zahra inspected her new toy. “C’mere, Craiggers, first thing’s first.”

“Z- I got Grace on video saying ‘fuck’!”

Poor Aleister was still flailing in the water, fighting as Grace tried to pull him up, apparently convinced that ‘Estela’ was trying to drown him.

A few twiddling of buttons, and a bright flash that was visible even in the warm sunshine.

Craig reached down and touched his own chest, dropping the device into Zahra’s waiting hands. “Aw, man, I’m back… Dope trick, Taylor!”

“…Thanks, Craig…” Taylor replied nervously.

Zahra watched with satisfaction as her spectators squirmed. “Yeah… dope trick, Taylor.” She let the device fall to her feet with a metallic clunk. And then she brought her foot down on it, hard.

Grace dropped Aleister unceremoniously back into the water. Taylor gave a strangled yell as Estela looked at her with pure horror. At the window, Raj and Diego cheered… and then Diego went back to doing his fly impression.

“Zahra! Are you out of your mind?”

There was a spluttering sound as Aleister once again tried to haul himself out of the pool. “Will someone please tell me what in the name of sanity is going on?”

Her face a picture of sweet triumph, Zahra dipped her hand into Craig’s jacket pocket, and pulled out a second Freaky Friday device.

“April Fools’, bitches. I won, right?”

The Freaky Friday Incident would no doubt go down in lore, at least if the buzz that followed was anything to go by. All who contributed to the creation of such chaos were lauded as April Fools’ heroes, and most who’d been ill-effected were now seeing the humour in the situation. Appreciating the genius of the original prank, Zahra bestowed the second device, which she’d found in Rourke’s V.I.P. room after having quizzed Iris, to a still totally stoned Diego. Craig’s precious video of Aleister being walloped into the pool by ‘Grace’ was playing on almost constant repeat, to the victim’s increasing annoyance. From Aleister, Taylor and an oblivious Diego received a long and thorough ear-bashing.

Finally set free from a tedious and angry lecture on the dangers of such childish pranks, Taylor wandered back to the restaurant, catching the last of her friends as they dispersed. Out of the corner of her eye, she was certain she’d seen Zahra fiddling with the original, broken device while she walked out towards the pool with Craig. She shook it off. The thing was smashed up, caput. Zahra might be a genius, but that machine was beyond repair… wasn’t it?

Taylor’s brief concern was forgotten the second she laid eyes on Estela. Their spot of mischief hadn’t exactly gone to plan, but all was well that ended well.

She ran to her, a broad grin across her face, and took her in her arms with a heady kiss.

“Holy shit, Princess! The hell ya doin?”

Her blood running cold in an instant, Taylor jumped back as if zapped by a bolt of electricity, her hands flying to her face. “Jake?! Ohmygod… holy crap… hooooly crap… I didn’t… oh shit, oh shit…”

Unable to keep a straight face any longer, Estela collapsed into uncontrollable giggles.

“Estela!” Taylor repeatedly smacked her wife over the head as she cried with laughter. Slowly, her body recovered from the shock, and she almost saw the funny side. “There’s a special place in hell for people like you! I think I almost had a heart attack…”

Estela slid onto the floor, clutching her sides and clearly not remotely sorry. This, Taylor supposed, was fair payback for dragging her into the whole mess to begin with. With her heartrate recovering, she began to laugh, and took her lover in her arms.

“When did you learn to do a southern accent, anyway?”

Estela wiped her eyes, high on the simple feeling of being back to normal… and no longer having to look at herself making goo-goo eyes at Aleister. She peppered Taylor’s face with kisses. “To see that look on your face? You’d be amazed what I could do.”

Shaking her head; relieved and only a little exasperated, Taylor made a show of studying Estela’s face carefully. “You’re you?”

“I’m me. And I’m confiscating Diego’s toy and throwing it in the volcano. Never again…”

Taylor giggled and hugged her. “Do it now, while Diego’s still high as a kite.”

“Or…” Estela ran a finger slowly up her wife’s thigh. “you can start working off that debt you owe me for helping you with all this Freaky Friday nonsense. My fees are high -especially after Aleister started following me around with heart eyes. But… I figured you wouldn’t mind paying in instalments?”

“Just one thing... “

“Hmmm?”

“If you do another Jake impersonation while you’ve got your head between my legs, I swear I will divorce your ass.”

With a snort, Estela doubled over once more, before coming up to peck a kiss to Taylor’s nose. “You’ve got a deal, mi amor.”

#utter nonsense #i don't even know what this mess is #endless summer #estela x mc #playchoices

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ana-in-the-kitchen-blog · 8 years ago

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Actually cooking Ayurvedically.

My greetings to the interwebs! This post is the second in a series about my experience in (trying) to eat Ayurvedically for a week. For more information on what I thought I was doing and why please see this post.

One critical aspect of eating Ayurvedically is eating according to one’s dosha. Dosha is a classification for different kinds of people based on their physical attributes (e.g. what kind of hair, nails, skin you have), mental attributes (e.g. how you deal with stress), and personality attributes (e.g. how one deals with conflict) (The Balance Plan, “Discover Your Dosha”). I took three different questionnaires from different websites to determine what dosha I fall into. They were from The Balance plan (Ibid.), Prokerala (Prokerala, “Ayurveda Self Body Test”), and Maharishi Ayurveda Products (vpk by Maharishi Ayurveda, “vpk Explanation”).

All three tests told me that out of the three doshas, my dominant dosha is pitta closely followed by vata. Apparently having two doshas is very common (The Balance plan, “Bi-doshic”). Both of these are balanced by sweet foods (Ibid.). However this does not mean simply liberally adding sugar to my food. One of the most important and ubiquitous sweet foods according to Ayurveda is ghee, i.e. clarified butter (Marshall, “Ghee: The Ayurvedic Perspective”).

Following these results, I focused my inquiries on recipes built for balancing pitta and vata. I created a Pinterest board (like the millennial I am) to track recipes that I found interesting, were applicable to my dosha, and wanted to try. There are a good number of them and resulting meals that I had during the course of this diet. I will focus on a few of my favourites.

The first is kitchari. It is a mixture of two grains, here lentils and rice. I got my recipe from The Ayurvedic Institute’s website, their physical mailing address being in Albuquerque, New Mexico (The Ayurvedic Institute, ”Kitchari”). The recipe calls for 1 cup lentils, ½ cup basmati rice, and 6 cups water cooked together. Separately coriander, cumin powder, whole cumin seeds, mustard seeds, and turmeric powder are cooked in ghee with a pinch of salt and asfoetida. Once the lentils and rice are cooked, the spice mix is stirred in and the dish is served. The recipe recommends leaving out the mustard seeds for pitta doshas and adding ginger powder for vata and kapha. I used both modifications while making it. The recipe also calls for mung daal or yellow split peas. In my house, we have a large tupperware with an equal mix of mung daal and masoor daal or red lentils. I looked up the Ayurvedic properties of masoor daal before starting the recipe and found that it has much the same effect as mung daal (Kate, “Pulses - the best kept protein secret”). So I decided to use the mix that I already had in place of the exclusively mung daal in the recipe.

The result was very satisfying. The rice had practically disappeared from the amount of time it took to boil off 6 cups of water. But the ghee in the dish gave every bite a velvety texture that, at least in my mind, has not been matched by a dish based on whole butter as the fat. It was interesting for me personally as I have cooked quite a bit of daal (lentil curry) in the past. It was always a go-to dish for me while studying or stressed out. Yet I always cooked my rice and lentils separately, with complementary spices, and then ate them together in one bowl. I had never really come across the process of cooking the two together in the same pot. While this dish is often described as an ancient vestige of a time when kitchens had more limited resources, I found the experience of eating it to feel quite luxurious (likely due to the ghee). I think that this dish will likely make it onto my repertoire of regular home meals, especially once I return to academic studies in the fall.

The second dish that I really loved was (surprise, surprise) also a lentil-based dish. This one is a soup based on mung daal (The Ayurvedic Institute, “Yellow Mung Dal Soup”). I again used the half and half (mung and masoor) daal mix. The spice mix is much the same as the kitchari recipe with the omission of ghee and addition of masala powder (Ibid.). Masala powder is a tricky category as it can refer to any pre-mixed spices, whether mixed at home or in a factory and then bottled. In my house there was some leftover raj masala from a previous dish, so I decided to use that as my masala. The recipe calls for safflower oil as the fat (Ibid.). I do not have any at home and was unwilling to scour the city of Toronto for it. I remembered seeing ghee and safflower oil given as equivalent options in other Ayurvedic recipes and decided to make the substitution, knowing that ghee was an Ayurvedically sanctioned substance.

The resulting soup was quite delicious and thick, probably due to the ghee and masoor daal (it disappears into the liquid, becoming a thickening agent, if simmered for long enough). The turmeric gave it a vivid yellow colour that stained the sides of my bowl. One of my favourite features of Indian cuisine is how it enthusiastically engages my sense of sight. Functionally, the addition of turmeric is mostly to give the dish that brilliant, clothes-staining yellow. I have often seen Kashmiri chilies used mostly to give the dish a beautiful red colour and then adorn the plate as a garnish. I find the bright colours that accompany the rich flavours to be cheering and comforting in a way that I often do not experience with European and North American cuisine. I also passionately love eating hearty soups. All these things together assured this recipe a place in my recurring home repertoire.

There are quite a few other Ayurvedically based diet decisions I made during the week that I also documented with pictures. In the interest of brevity and with deference to attention spans, I will make a separate photo post.

Until later!

Works Cited

The Ayurvedic Institute. “Kitchari.” Retrieved from: http://www.ayurveda.com/recipes/kitchari.

The Ayurvedic Institute. “Yellow Mung Dal Soup.” Retrieved from: http://www.ayurveda.com/recipes/yellow-mung-dal-soup.

Kate. (8 July 2015). “Pulses - the best kept protein secret.” The Ayurveda Practice. Retrieved from: http://theayurvedapractice.com/pulses/.

The Balance Plan. “Bi-Doshic.” Retrieved from: http://balanceplan.co.uk/learn/bi-doshic/.

The Balance Plan. “Discover Your Dosha.” Retrieved from: http://balanceplan.co.uk/learn/discover-your-dosha/.

Marshall, N. “Ghee: The Ayurvedic Perspective.” Mudita Institute & Health Clinic. Retrieved from: http://www.muditainstitute.com/blogs/happybelly/ghee.html.

Prokerala. “Ayurveda Self Body Test.” Retrieved from: http://www.prokerala.com/health/ayurveda/prakriti-analysis/.

vpk by Maharishi Ayurveda. “vpk Explanation.” Retrieved from: http://www.mapi.com/doshas/vpk-explanation.html#gsc.tab=0.

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