#my people's champion piece is taking more time (i havent even started it yet) so have this instead lmao

[targarrus]

my piece for @bojere-fanbook

bojan is playing hot to go to jere btw

[cold-iron-burns]

We've come to a consensus.

Everyone present at the time of this writing will do their best to inform the ones who need the support of a gentle delivery of current events.

The ayes have it.

YOU WOULD HAVE A PARLIAMENT AS YOUR COMMUNICATION SPACE

what's wrong with that? if we all actually do our jobs, so many more of us will be represented

THATS A LOGICAL ARGUEMENT, BUT WHO IS REALLY GETTING REPRESENTED

-wait WhAt?! HoW mAnY oF yOu ArE tHeRe

Oh honey, more than you will ever know. It's gonna be okay. We found each other and that's what's important. We're gonna start introducing ourselves,

*or at least, becoming more clear*

I love all of you so much, thank you so much for letting me in, for being patient with me. I think I'm the host? what iss. @ -o{oo#t?

started dissociating, it felt physically painful. the documenter.

And the enchanting lady is? *turns to tip his hat and wink at the camera* A -name-? Do you honestly think I could have settled on any name? Any singular--yes, Zed is going to sleep. I'm very fond of him. Attracted to him? He is my Adonis. Every inch of his body is particularly unique to his position in spacetime. There will never again be a Zed in which he appears, feels, smells and tastes exactly the same as he does at this exact moment, continued, forever and so on, as far as you know, infinitely. The Philosopher.

Wait, no, the Philanthropist

Wait wait NO, I stand by The Philosopher (for now)

[hold up, are y'all tellin me -- you c'n cawl me your White Trash Sweetheart, get rid of that bracket there, that's for the Host now

she doesnt know if she's the host or not, wibblywoooooo~ teen punk brat? aww man, fuck you you stupid piece of shit

hiiii yeah hi, I'm post-apocalypse punk Mayor (yes, you can call me that, but its aspirational) wow very humble -- golf commentater (now based on ugh this is important remember the actress' name, you look stupid, don't just stand there staring off into space, GET BACK TO WORK

OH YEAH, hi BiTcH --oh he's gone, that's -too- bad. well, as I'm here anyway, we should get to know one another. I'm "sassy black woman" because you're ashamed people will think you're using me just for drama and that's pretty fuckin racist--

I'm Final Form Chie. I started as so many of our seeds do, a poor slave girl, who loses her virginity yeah it's okay to make shortcuts

FOCUS

she gains skills, proves useful to the master, destroys the master (sometimes with kindness sometimes literally depending on what we need at the time)

[I didn't know it was that specific]

I'm mixed, actually, but I'm inspired SO MUCH by Claws. FUCKING REPRESENTATION FINAL--

>nope nope nope, shut it down<

John Cleese?

not exactly. A bit like the entire cast of monty python rolled into one. I'm from the countryside, but I can't say for sure where

woooooo we almost lost her there. she was panicking about losing this productive high, but she pulled through and FOUND THAT RUBI. Small Town Beauty Queen. I don't find it insulting if it helps you remember me. I started as Fern of Charlotte's Web. I keep that mournful lullaby for you. It really changed your path, dear heart. I don't become Miss America or anything, I'm too old by that time. But I love my family so much. You have so much anger

Yes, that's right, Dearie. Maiden, Mother, Crone. We don't think it was intentional but we like the power we have when we cooperate. Yes, we guide ... oh honey, don't cry, it's gonna be okay. no, n-n-no, no, you don't h-h-have to oh no, I really don't want to be here, I wasn't sure what to wear before, oh, I've gotten comfortable and I'm stuttering less. No, I don't think people who stutter in real life have this drastic of

oh, oh my. oh no, I'm still Achates.

Does it really surprise you? Chie and Amaury loved me so much that they couldn't bear to part entirely. They feel loyal to answer when you call on them when recalled in memories; they consider it their duty to fight in sharing our stories! With Pictures!

I don't need pictures

Don't you? you need to sleep, you're exhausted and you have an appointment tomorrow. Please go the fuck to bed. Slightly Extra (okay kinda actually just really ~(EXTRA)~

okay how do I... Ah, I got it. I'm the lucky early gen x mom you both wish you had -- no, we are not combined, sugar tits.

I'm the hardass 70s-80s mom you would have had if you're life was a movie. Well, technically I can mask as any kind of 70s-80s media mom (one of y'all--us! oh, yes, i hear you. I want you to know I would protect you, Kevin. MOM UGH

keep going - the sprites (soot or rainbow, we shift to suit your needs. we might steal your shoes. we are only some of the fae court. crossover unknown cannot compute - PLEASE HURRY. GOOD. I AM THE ROBOT OF THE 80s and --scratch that record

I'm that part of you who knew she couldn't look like Zach Morris and wanted so badly just to be a little boy. You were SO CONNECTED with the host when I was there?

wait, I'm the host

no, you--you are now because writing takes concentrating which you are losing quickly. Hello! I'm Sassy Progressive Upper Class CONCENTRATE, DAMMIT. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. I don't care if I sound like -your-mom. Someone has to be the mom around here!

Someone has to be the mom around here.

Who wrote it?

you are high af.

keep letting your eyes go out of focus, yes you're getting sleepy, think how nice the bed will feel on that aching body. She deserves some rest, the old girl.

My body is a cow? wait, there's more. she shifts to being omniscient for scenes, if a cowsona (oh, yes, Buana and Gaushala and Pirwa ... Gaushala still has an arrow in the heart.

Yes, WoW Chie (Chiela will do.). I was here while you built your confidence to try... yes, dear, you really should sleep. TO TRY GETTING CATRIN AND RIAIN A HOME AFTER being abandoned when some of you lost the "spark" or whatever with Michael. I orchestrated some of the setup. you don't need to know my name. I'm both Italian immigrant/WHOA DO NOT EVEN CONNECT THE JEWISH COMMUNITY TO--NO, We Dont...*clears throat, drinks water*. No, you're not wealthy like Ms. Maisel, -we-, sorry, sometimes I have to pretend. Speaking of pretending, no, kid, I'm not as funny or talented as all the wonderful Jewish actresses (yeah yeah, Italian-American you, whatever his+her names are, we'll get to you later)

oh nooooo they're not sure if they'll fit the stereotype if they get loud but they wanna

yeah, sure kid, we sound a lot alike. we exist in a liminal space in which America (and new york city) (and every big american metropolis)... we can all celebrate our differences

It's alright, you just need to focus. I'm 90s Successful Well Paying Professional (I can be in the late 80s WA>T)

you're just stating tropes you stupid bitch

whale!

MISS PIGGY

LOOK AT HER FAT FINGERS

remember when you -hold on- hold on for me, my love lovely?

~do you wanna be my lover, gotta get wit my friends, make it last forever cause that's the way it is"

some of us havent learned to swype yet, fuuuuuck. you're popular--but not top tier popular 4th grade 4H champion with all the ribbons. you'll grow up (yes it's hard, i want to be a teacher one day. I'm based on Angie. I'm the imaginary life you might have led if your family wasn't so difficult. We should give them credit, everyone's trying their best. Oh, I can take on mom duties when I need, we also have kids in our future. We live in Lagrange (my husband and I, at this point in the line) but we don't make as much as our parents yet, though. Yet. Yes, I know what it feels like to feel content but maybe have some (or a lot of) wanderlust in life. I'm ten or so years older than you, so while our dedication to staying in Lorain County is important to the values we wish to impart on our children (yes we are Christian. We love Sharon with all our heart and we're so glad (there's a small congregation of us, maybe enough to fill a quiet one room cottage on Sunday, God willing. I'm inspired by the Amish women I see selling their wares and replicate "Amish" methods when making food for my family (I'm good friends with The Baker. We watch Steven Universe with you! We're so excited for the movie and hope we get to talk to you about it! I showed it to Chip and Carol, well I keep talking with them about it and they agreed to get around to watching it with me. I want to be a good ally. I'm, you know, only a little bi. I know that's probably inappropriate--oh- okay, oh, my, oh WOW are my hormones nuts. I'm pretty enough but nerdy enough that I'm kinda in a weird middle tier of popularity. Haha, oh, that's funny. I'm part Sunday (we miss her! some of us are so jealous of her we want to claw her comfortable boomer life from her hands.

That's awful. Shame on you. Suffering is relative.

SHE HASN'T EVEN SUFFERED A FRACTION OF WHAT I SUFFERED

Oh yes. You are the raw emotion of what the Host(?) feels when listening to Jekyll & Hyde, but only the certain version claws at our hearts

We salute the departed Host.

I miss her. Many of us do. But she crumbled under the pressure of knowing too much. She remembered too much before she was ready.

Parliament: We [redacted for time] ...salute her memory. She fought well, carried her armor, was ready to take on anything and change the world, even if in a small way.

She's Not Dead.

sprites: {hushed whispers to avoid being heard by parliament} {WAIT, NO, WE ARE NOT THE HOUSE OF COMMONS}

there's a lot of you when you get mad.

@@@@@@ Angie no, please don't put me to bed. I'm gonna be a computer genius - I mean, maybe not genius and did you know colleges could pay you to get a Bachelor's degree, it's called "scholarships", I mean, this changes -everything-!

I love you, Cameron. I came first, but you gave me a perfect form. I help the others feel calm. Community is punk, but is corporate entanglement the final destination-- hey, wait a minute, I'm not done talking!

whoa bitch. I mean, we have to mention joe. want to be him, want to fuck him, His story, too, is tangible to me. maybe we're a package deal now, ha! I'll try to remember the good times more than the bad, for the health of all of us.

SO SAY WE ALL

wait, what the fuck are you trying to say

hey, it's cool, it's cool.

nah it aint cool

STOP IT STOP FIGHTING

let's think about date sugar

Ah. That was a good distraction. but we really must be off to bed.

is this productive?

Love, it's okay to be sad about losing the real Ben. \It's okay to have any kind of feeling at all.

Ladies and gents and nonbinaries and everyone else, please at least get up into the bed to think about flickin the bean. More like taking a bush-hog to a lil baby bean sprout, but whatever. let the rest of us lie down.

night y'all!

:)

[raywarham-blog]

Liverpool Squad troubles

Mignolet – Been at the club since 2013. Never in my eyes been good enough. Comes across as a decent shot stopper but when you dig deeper that just isnt true. Can’t come for crosses, isnt commanding of his defence and his kicking is comparable to that of a 10 year old on Buckley Hill. Saved a fair few pens as a highlight but overall not good enough, never has been and never will be. The fact Klopp picks him as his number one completely baffles me, as I think it does many fans.

VERDICT - SELL

Karius – People where delighted when he signed. Another sign that fans don’t rate Mignolet. He came in and made some terrible errors. Bournemouth away was a shocker for him, especially so early on. Got a couple of games after that but never looked confident. One of the only keepers I’ve ever seen kick a goal kick out for a corner. As with Mignolet he cant come for crosses and although he looks confident on the ball he has every fans heart in their mouth as he tries to turn every striker rushing at him. What ever happened to just getting rid. Had a couple of cup games here and there inbetween lsoing his place. I think he done well against Southampton in the league cup but chances have been few and far between since. Given the chance again in the Champions League this year but terrible positioning in the Away leg at Moscow highlighted that he probably isnt the answer.

VERDICT – Keep for now but easily repleceable.

Ward – Not seen much of him in a Liverpool shirt to comment. He made an unbelievable save pre season, only for the defence to be asleep and it cost a goal anyway. Ward has had two excellent loan spells at Aberdeen and Brighton. All of the reviews seem to suggest he has the talent to become Liverpool and Wales number one but we all know the pressure that comes with that. Capped a couple of times for Wales and played their first game of the Euros, limited club time probably preventing him getting the number one slot. In my opinion should be given a run of games in the side after both Mignolet and Karius have shown their incompetence on many occasions. Klopp deciding to keep him as a 3rd keeper when he could have been playing for Huddersfield in the Premier League is another truly baffling decision by our manager and won’t have gone down well with Ward I’m sure.

VERDICT - KEEP

Clyne – I was probably one of his biggest critics going into this season, always thought he done okay defensively apart from the odd lapse at the far post but struggled going forward. In the modern game we expect our full backs to be good at both and if they arent we label them as not good enough. In all truth I cant wait for Clyne to return from injury. Never thought I’d see the day I thought that. With our attacking options, especially with Salah playing on the right this season I think Clyne being more reliable defensively will only help us. Less pressure on him to produce in the final third is something I think he will be happy with. We had Glen Johnson who was decent going forward and awful at the back. Clyne is opposite of that in my eyes and I’d prefer it that way. Maybe not good enough if you want to win leagues and go far in champions leagues year on year but for now Clyne is a decent and usually relaiable option.

VERDICT - KEEP

Trent – Youngster with bags and bags of ability, comfortable on the ball and doesn’t lack in confidence. Can deliver a wicked cross and we have already seen he can be deadly from set pieces. Takes a decent corner too, which is something we havent seen at Anfield for a few years. Beating the 1st man has been our achilles heal all too often. Needs a good few pans of Scouse and sessions in the gym to beef up but that will come with age. Signs looks really good for Trent and being a scouser we all want him to do so well.

Only downside for me is his defending. Maybe this is why a lot of people talk about Trent playing further up the field as he matures. Seems to switch off and lose his man a lot and has a tendency to turn his back on crosses. Again this could be down to age and I wouldn’t be too worried about this for now, but if he wants to be starting games he will need to learn this quickly. Gomez has been preferred to him in the bigger games this season and I’d put that down to him being better defensively. Fingers crossed for Trent he seems to have the right character to adapt and learn.

VERDICT - KEEP

Gomez – Looked great when he first came in. I rememebr him playing away to Arsenal and marking Walcott out of the game at left back. Walcott is no world beater but he is pacey and away at Arsenal in a rookie season can be daunting. Suffered two terrible injuries after this and many thought he wouldn’t return to the 1st team at Anfield. Credit to him he’s worked tirelessly at his recovery and is now playing regularly for both England U21’s as captain and Liverpool. Sometimes looks immature in his defending but hasn’t played many games at the top level and when he does its usually at full back when his preferred position is in the cernte of defence. Was great against Man Utd a few weeks back and Lovren’s latest gaff will hopefully provide Gomez with an extended run in his favoured position to show he’s got what it takes to make it.

VERDICT - KEEP

Matip – When we signed he came with a decent enough reputation. Played in the Champions League for Schalke, was a huge figure who likes to play out from the back. In reality he is sluggish, not commanding and for the size of him is bullied all to often both on the floor and in the air. Doesn’t look to have great positional sense and can often be found wondernig back when we are conceding goals. Been a huge disappointment for me, although he did come on a free which is something I guess. Definitely not good enough moving forward, he has been terrible this season and if it wasn’t for Lovren being worse he would be at the centre of fans abuse.

VERDICT - SELL.

Lovren – Hard not to go to town on Lovren here. Completely inadequate and not good enough for Liverpool Football Club. It’s at the point now where although I blame him for errors its not his fault Klopp continues to pick him nor failed to replace him in the summer. He makes mistake after mistake. Again like Matip nowhere near commanding enough for the size he is, often pushed aside.

Has complete lapses in concentration all too often to play at the top top level and his ball playing skills leave a lot to be desired. His passes to the full backs can often be found in the lower centenary. Had problems off the field which have been well documented and can’t have helped his performances. He once got my nephew a ticket for the game so I’ll always know he’s a decent human being and be thankful for that. Can’t see how he has a future with the Reds after his horror show at Wembley though.

VERDICT – SELL

Klavan – Came in knowing he would be 3rd or 4th choice CB. Had a couple of opportunities and played okay on a couple of occasions. Simply not Liverpool standard and no point wasting time evidencing why.

VERDICT – SELL

Moreno – Been at the club from 2014. Feels like 1914. Made a bright start scoring a cracker against Spurs away. Been pretty much downhill from there. Words probably can’t describe how bad his defending has been. Was one of the worst performers in the defeat to Seville in Basle. Dropped last season for Milner a midfielder playing left back yet has been brought back into the fold this season. Another of Klopp’s astounding decisions, how this has happened is beyond me. Many feel that Moreno has performed well this season, I just don’t think he’s been as truly woeful as he usually is. Blessed with blistering pace and it’s a good job because it gets him out of trouble at least twice a game due to his positioning incompetence. He was found closing the goalkeeper down the other week when we conceded away at Hoffenheim. Apparently has an excellent attitude and is clearly a favourable member of the dressing room but as a fan I couldn’t care less how many times he walks his dog on a hover board.

VERDICT – SELL

Robertson – Not seen enough to comment. Performed impressively on the few outings he’s been awarded by Klopp, MOM in one. Not sure if this was a committee signing or Klopp is bedding him in but I can’t understand why he hasn’t played more minutes. Bet he can’t either.

VERDICT - KEEP

Henderson – I’ve always liked Henderson I think he has the right attitude and adores the club. Came with a big(ish) price tag at the time and was a big move for him coming from his boyhood club. Hard one this as I think he is a talented footballer and the fact he’s always been picked by any manager he plays for even England backs this up. But I just don’t see it anymore. I’m not sure if injuries have hampered him, they certainly can’t have helped but he hasn’t lived up to anything near what he promised to be. Became our skipper after Gerrard retired, maybe by default in many eyes. I’m certain now that he’s not the right captain for us moving forward. I think as soon as we sign a commanding centre back they will get the armband or maybe Keita when he arrives.

Henderson isn’t a good enough leader, he is fine shouting abuse at the liner or referee but can often been seen head bowed walking towards the centre spot after conceding. He isn’t strong enough in the tackle when we need him and hasn’t got the ability of a Gerrard or Alonso to dictate the pace of play. Goals are another issue, I know he plays a lot of games as the deep lying midfielder but he simply doesn’t score enough. He threatening to a few seasons back but nothing since. He often snatches at good chances which is a same as he seems technically gifted. Too often sideways or backwards and that chipped cross to the far post is infuriating. Huge shame as like I say I like Henderson and wanted him to prove the doubters wrong, however I just don’t think he has it.

VERDICT – SQUAD PLAYER

Gini – Was a star performer in a relegated Newcastle side. Not sure if this should have been the writing on the wall. Came in and was solid, some really good displays and he bagged us some important goals in big games. City, Arsenal and Chelsea to name a few. Got about the pitch and at times looked like he could keep a ball in a phone box. It all looked good for him in his first season although his away form was a worry. Just a few months later and it’s the complete opposite. Away form is horrendous, carrying on where he left off last season, at times if I was Klopp I wouldn’t even bother naming him in the squad. That’s how bad he has been. For a box to box midfielder not to score away from home for Liverpool in more than a season is nothing short of pathetic in my eyes. We get enough possession and chances for him to have broken his duck. If we had better players or less on the injury table he wouldn’t be in the 11, its that simple. Time will tell for him but on the face of things not one for the future.

VERDICT – SQUAD PLAYER

Can – Where to start. Came over in 2014 as a youngster with huge potential having left Bayern Munich for game time at Leverkusen. Can has been hit and miss, more miss than hit. Played out of position by Rodgers at central defence and sometimes right back and struggled to find his form. Looked at the end of last season like he would kick on and played well in the last few games helping us get 4th. Like Gini and Henderson has struggled massively this term, a decent game against Seville at home his only stand out performance.

He should at 6 foot and a big unit dominate games through his sheer size and strength but too often is found out. Often caught in possession wanting too many touches on the ball and as a number 6 this often leads to attacks baring down on our already woeful defence. Linked with Juve which might suit him as the play in Italy in slower than that of the premier league. Believes his own hype and spends far too much time in front of a mirror to ever to Liverpool’s hard man. Would personally drive him to Turin.

VERDICT – LET GO to JUVE – Maybe leave out until then also. Not helping our cause.

Milner – Came on a free on huge wages. Joke wages if reports are true. Good honest pro, no nonsense and many managers have said you need players like Milner in your squad. He performed to the best of his ability at left back last season and a credit to him for that. However he was shocking for the final 4 months of the season and maybe this is why Klopp tried Moreno again? Been a decent enough signing and will play a part this season as and when called upon. Don’t think he will last beyond next summer as a Reed. Wish him luck.

VERDICT – SELL/RELEASE next Summer.

Coutinho – Another hard one to write. I said I wouldn’t let myself love a player after Torres broke many of our hearts a few years back and not many players have come close. Suarez was close and then this summer Coutinho was also. He’s a magician, a true game changer. One people pay to watch. Fans love him and managers love him. First name on the team sheet and maybe our only world class player.

That being said he won’t be a Liverpool player come next summer and we need to plan our spending well, IF we get the money. After trying to force his way to Barcelona in the summer he’s lost his place in many fans hearts. Rafa rescued him from Inter reserves and we have developed him into a star. He threw all that in our faces this summer and some of his antics where despicable. Never to be forgiven from me.

This season he has got his head down, like Suarez a few years back and has been a star performer again. Scoring or assisting in most games. He does go missing sometimes in games and for weeks on end but the quality is there and this season it’s been more regular than not. Will be greatly missed when he leaves but I won’t spend too much time worrying about it after what he done. Good riddance.

VERDICT – Be gone next summer anyway.

Lallana – Felt he struggled in his first season at Anfield. In and out of the side and had a couple of knocks. Became an automatic choice since then. His energy is vital to our press and winning the ball high up the pitch. He has a great first touch and the way he accepts a ball makes me think he can’t be English. Often overplayed by both club and country and has picked up injuries as a result, halting progress and action this season. We’ve badly missed him in the side. Should score and assist more for a man with his ability and will eventually see him replaced in the side for someone who does. Again great attitude and always leaves it all on the pitch.

VERDICT – KEEP

Firmino – Been a good signing in my opinion although his goal tally now he plays up front is not good enough. Don’t solely blame him for this and I don’t think he’s ever been a goal scorer or a number 9. Work rate is terrific and he is rated highly amongst a lot of Reds fans although doesn’t seem to get much acknowledgement outside of Liverpool. Can be breath-taking but can be frustrating also, something I suppose you get with Brazilians. Loves the club and loves playing for Liverpool. I think he needs to play as a midfielder again to fulfil his maximum potential to Liverpool as playing upfront he will never score us the goals we need.

VERDICT – KEEP

Salah – Been outstanding since signing. A snip in today’s market. Goals and assists galore and a terrific work ethic to boot. We need to add pace to our attack for when Mane is out and he’s provided just that. Looks fit and a fiddle and without tempting fate he’s played a lot of minutes already but seems up to the pace. Had a lot to prove after his Chelsea spell but has gone a long way to proving Mourinho was wrong back then. Terrific addition and hopefully be here a long time.

VERDICT – KEEP

Mane – Again an absolute snip at the price we got him for. Would possibly go for double now. Pace to burn and knows where the net is. Lots of energy and the biggest compliment to pay him is that we don’t look the same side without him, even with Coutinho and Salah. Glides past players after slowing them down. Having a frustrating season with both injury and suspension this term. Hopefully won’t be out too long and can get us firing again as soon as possible. I think we will struggle to keep Mane next summer if we finish outside the top 4.

VERDICT – KEEP

Sturridge – Such a shame. Used to say outside of Aguero he was the best in the league. Injuries have ruined his career, has all the talent in the world but will never be fit enough to show it. Used to be deadly given one chance, seems to have lost this now as well as a yard of pace. I don’t think Klopp has given him a good run of games in fairness to him. Many believe a lot of problems are in his head, unfortunately we may never know. One things for sure is that we won’t have him here beyond next summer to find out. Be astounded if Klopp doesn’t sell next year, on massive wages too.

VERDICT – SELL

Solanke – Too soon to pass judgement on him. Looked okay in his cameo’s. Needs a goal badly for some confidence.

VERDICT – KEEP

Chamberlain – Too early to tell in his Liverpool career. Massively overpriced for 35m and if he wasn’t English I don’t think we would have signed him. Hoping he gets a fair crack of the ship under Klopp, not going to judge before he does.

VERDICT – KEEP

Woodburn – Touted as the next big thing. Head and shoulder above at times at youth level when I’ve watched him. Done brilliantly for Wales in the two qualifiers and is always in the squad. He’s another one I don’t understand why Klopp doesn’t give more minutes too. Even as last sub, he never seems to get on. I know he’s young but so what. Gerrard and Owen were 17 when they started Okaying regularly, Woodburn’s just turned 18 and our midfield isn’t setting the world alight. He been playing more centrally lately so maybe we are bedding him in for that role in the future.

VERDICT – KEEP