#my partner legit thinks i got a screw loose

[glitchtricks94]

I swear I'm normal about him

I keep getting ideas but only want a singular part I just barely passed the halfway mark, help-

[flightfoot]

I hope you don't mind me asking, and you don't have to answer if it makes you uncomfortable. It's just that I have very conflicted feelings about the current Ladynoir situation and I'm thinking myself mad trying to figure out how to approach this moral issue. Like seriously, please I need a second opinion on this.

It's the same problem per usual ever since the beginning of s4. Marinette keeping secret from Chat Noir that she has a whole second partner behind his back who she treated much better and favored over him in season 4 in like, every possible way...and she just gets away with not releasing him out of that obliviousness even though in "Multiplication" Ladynoir literally spend WEEKS bored on patrol. WEEKS! And Marinette and Alya KNOW that Monarque is aware of her now, so thats no excuse anymore.

I just... can not look past this. Adrien still knows JACKSHIT about anything Ladybug pulled behind his back, how insultingly far she went in several cases and how she basically played the whole system that works in her favor against him to keep him out of the loop and content with the little he got by the time of "Strike back". I just... the amount of dishonesty she is just not being held accountable for just because Adrien in his oblivious state said its fine?? He's just being left by her in a completely wrong perspective of her entire situation from season 4??

I feel so hurt and betrayed by this every time I watch and think about it, this whole Ladynoir situation is so morally screwed in my eyes because he just doesn't know anything?? She just decides that he doesn't get to know and I'm supposed to support that just because she doesn't want to face a consequence in which she literally wouldn't loose ANYTHING?? And she is still immediately always rewarded with a perfect partner who doesn't have any problems of his own and is currently still only there to continue being nothing but her support? I-I just... man I just want to enjoy Ladynoir again, what the hell am I WATCHING?

Who in their right mind thought this was okay to do in the show? Why on earth was the entire Ladynoir situation so awfully handled that I really hardly have anything to hold onto here? Marinette literally had Chats and Renas positions switched by "Risk" with him taking Renas old status as "temporary" hero while Rena basically got everything Ladybugs actual partner should have. And to make the matter even worse then in "Strike Back" once 'Adrien' got involved Ladybug just immediately ignored Chat (Ladybugs "favorite") almost entirely for his sake and even gave him Chats spot in their sacred sewer place. And you just KNOW that if 'Adrien' had actually stayed part of their the hero team from then on as she thought he would she would have just... kicked Chat out of their sewer place to give it to Adrien and Chat would have to... swallow it again and make his existence even smaller than it already was.... She just really never had any intention of ever letting him out of that scapegoat role...the only reason why Chat Noir is now actually treated with any kind of legit respect and dignity again is because the worst thing imaginable happened and Gabriel got all the other miraculous so only Ladybug and Chat Noir are left as heroes. That's it. That's the only reason.

How-how am I supposed to look past this? Everything from "Ephemeral/ Kuro Neko" onwards is just morally disgusting to me and I swear I TRY to give Marinette all the credit in the good aspects, especially now in season 5. Really I SWEAR I KNOW that Marinettes situation was fucked as well, but at a certain point (that being Ephemeral and Kuro Neko) that's just no excuse for the ACTIVE choices she made to continue to deal with the situation!

All the disgusting circumstances still surrounding Ladynoir are just too much for me. She is.. This is.. she is simply taking advantage of him and his kindness by just leaving him in his convenient obliviousness that keeps every aspect hidden from him that Adrien very much had a right to know and properly settle his valid upset feelings over.

I don't want her to get punished, yelled at, loose him or anything. Non of that! I just want Chat Noir to be given the proper dignity and respect by his partner to not be continued to be left out of the loop and taken advantage of. That she just does the morally right thing and owes up to him to create a team of three with Alya so he isn't alone anymore either and he at least gets the opportunity to settle any hurt feelings and issues he has/had/whatever and not just... her deciding over his head that he doesn't get to be potentially upset with her and her being nice about it now just has to be enough to make up for it.

It doesn't. It's morally deceiving and disgusting. Why are the show and the Fandom glorifying the hell out of this? She had no right to continue scapegoating Chat Noir like this (and Chat Blanc wasn't even about her in its core, he wasn't kept save from anything in this regard!) and now it just keeps going in season 5?? Please not... I just want to enjoy Ladynoir again and go back to being able to support and agree with Marinette like I was able to do in the past. I MISS it so much, but I simply cannot look past it. I'm morally disgusted by what I'm seeing on screen and I dont know... what to do with this now?

I refuse to set my standards even lower for this Ladynoir situation, it already went way too far in my opinion to the point where season 4 send more than a few questionable messages out there. I refuse to do that.

I just want her to do the right thing and owe up, is this so much to ask for? :(

I apologize with all of my heart for the chain of replies this ask is likely about to get since I brought up the Ladynoir conflict of season 4, but I seriously simply need another opinion on this matter. I'm thinking myself mad trying to figure out how to approach this...

I do think that during season 4, Ladybug really needed to at least tell Chat Noir that someone else knew her identity, and that Rena Furtive was helping out during fights, even if it was only on a covert basis. Preferably with a more thorough explanation of why Rena could know her identity while Chat could not - he didn't really seem to grasp the specifics of that, and thought it had to do with trust, rather than the practicalities of Shadow Moth being able to get both of their identities in one fell swoop if he managed to akumatize one of them, and that being "Game Over".

Chat already knows that Rena Furtive and was watching over the two of them during the fight, so telling Chat that Rena Furtive exists would be superfluous. I'd like it if Ladybug sat down with Chat and told him that Rena's been following them for the past few months secretly, and also about Chat Blanc, since that appears to have been a large factor in why she pushed Chat away last season. But I can see why the showmakers would kind of ignore that - Chat already found out that Rena was there secretly without his knowledge once, I'm betting he already figured out that that probably wasn't the first time, and the showrunners want to move on from that plotline.

I mean... yes, Ladybug still hasn't told him everything that she kept him out of, but I think at this point, the only things he hasn't found out about are Chat Blanc, just how long Rena Furtive had been around, and the whole plan she came up with in Ephemeral to pass his identity to Su-Han without her remembering it (though to be fair, that's a pretty big one, even if it ended up being interrupted due to Sass turning back time. But I can also see why she wouldn't think to bring it up, since the plan was interrupted before it could get very far). So I don't think he's completely in the dark about the situation during season 4 - he already found out that Ladybug told someone else her identity without informing him, that she allowed Rena Rouge and Carapace to know each other's identities, and as already mentioned, that Rena Furtive was secretly watching over them at least once. So he already got the idea that Ladybug was keeping him out of the loop of a lot of things.

She just decides that he doesn't get to know and I'm supposed to support that just because she doesn't want to face a consequence in which she literally wouldn't loose ANYTHING?? And she is still immediately always rewarded with a perfect partner who doesn't have any problems of his own and is currently still only there to continue being nothing but her support?

Marinette does have a problem with being "the one who has the right to decide everything", instead of letting other people in on the information to decide things for themselves. It can be good in that she's ready and able to take charge of situations, but... yeah, it went too far in Season 4 with Chat Noir. It was supposed to, though, as something for her to learn from. And while she did just decide that he doesn't get to know some things that he really should have gotten to know about, or even gotten a say in, it wasn't like she was being malicious about it. It wasn't that black-and-white.

She was scared of screwing things up, and when she's nervous like that, she tries to minimize the chances of it happening by taking control of everything she can - we see that with her plans to ask out Adrien, for instance. And in order to take control of circumstances, she needs to minimize what other people know and the options they have, otherwise it can mess with those plans. Hence, why she tended to leave Chat in the dark a lot, and her reason for her plan in Ephemeral - she wanted to ensure the outcome she wanted (Chat revealing his identity to someone who wasn't her, so that person could pass his identity to Su-Han and get him off her back) and she at least thought there was a chance that he might not do so, which is why she manipulated the situation to make it into one where she could be sure he'd do what she wanted.

It wasn't right. It wasn't fair. But I can understand the mindset behind it, why she did it, and that she genuinely didn't mean any harm. It still would cause harm, even if he didn't find out about it, because of how badly she betrayed his trust there, but I can understand her mindset, thinking that what Chat didn't know wouldn't hurt him, and that it was better than risking Su-Han taking Chat's Miraculous, which was an outcome she couldn't bear.

I don't believe that thinking about the Ladynoir Conflict as a "being rewarded or punished for different actions" way is the best way to approach it. Both Adrien and Marinette are regular people, which means that they are flawed. In this case, Marinette's flaws were at the forefront.

It's more a case of two characters flaws and personalities and character traits combining with bad circumstances in order to result in- well, a bit of a mess. Marinette made some errors in how she interacted with Chat Noir, but that's more of something for her to learn from, grow from, than to be punished for. Chat wasn't rewarding her at the end of Strike Back- she was showing her compassion, and letting her know that she didn't need to be so afraid of failure.

I won't pretend that I was happy with Chat being treated (and Ladybug explicitly acknowledging as much) as just being another part of the Miracuteam that she called on. I wasn't. I liked Alya being around permanently, I love Alya and I think she makes a great permanent addition (or will again, later on, once they retrieve the Miraculous). But Chat's been around just as long as Ladybug has, has just as much experience as she does. He may not have the special role of Guardian that she has, but he's hardly just another wielder. He is her partner, not her subordinate - he may often follow her orders, but that doesn't mean she should consider him to just be her follower. Viewing him that way is a mistake, but it's one that she should take as an opportunity to grow more than anything. To correct and do better.

And to make the matter even worse then in "Strike Back" once 'Adrien' got involved Ladybug just immediately ignored Chat (Ladybugs "favorite") almost entirely for his sake and even gave him Chats spot in their sacred sewer place.

Okay, to be fair, Adrien was going through some stuff. She knows how bad he felt about not being able to stand up to his father, about being sent away, and with him saying that he wasn't a hero, combined with what happened in Desperada... yeah, I can't blame her for focusing on him, especially since she could feasibly make him feel a lot better, maybe even persuade him to stand up to his father which would, (as far as she thinks) vastly improve his circumstances. So she prioritized helping him, since she knew how to.

Plus she needed him for the plan in Strike Back since he was the only one without a Risk mark, and the Strike Back sentimonsters needed to be defeated so... yeah. Priorities.

She didn't totally ignore Chat anyway, she was so thrilled to introduce 'Adrien' to Chat.

And as much as the fandom may joke, I don't think Ladybug and Chat Noir really consider the sewers to be their sacred place.

the only reason why Chat Noir is now actually treated with any kind of legit respect and dignity again is because the worst thing imaginable happened and Gabriel got all the other miraculous so only Ladybug and Chat Noir are left as heroes. That's it. That's the only reason.

I do think that Marinette needed some sort of wake up call when it came to Chat Noir, though I don't think it necessarily had to be Chat being the only wielder she had left to count on. Marinette tends to stubbornly run headfirst towards an idea, a concept, and not realize it's a bad idea or that she's doing something wrong until something bad happens that snaps her out of it, gets her to re-evaluate what she's doing.

But I don't think that invalidates the realization, the wake-up call itself, even if it had to be a fairly extreme situation.

Marinette did make some active bad choices in Ephemeral and Kuro Neko - though in Kuro Neko she mostly just went along with what Chat thought was best, she just kinda gave up, like in the NY special - but I think she realized it afterwards, in Strike Back's finale, when she apologized for lying to him and pushing him away. I'd prefer for her to talk to him about those specific incidents of course, but I do think she realized her mistake and is trying to do better.

I don't want her to get punished, yelled at, loose him or anything. Non of that! I just want Chat Noir to be given the proper dignity and respect by his partner to not be continued to be left out of the loop and taken advantage of. That she just does the morally right thing and owes up to him to create a team of three with Alya so he isn't alone anymore either and he at least gets the opportunity to settle any hurt feelings and issues he has/had/whatever and not just... her deciding over his head that he doesn't get to be potentially upset with her and her being nice about it now just has to be enough to make up for it.

This is valid. If she continues leaving Chat out of the loop, at least about new stuff, then I'll think that she hasn't actually learned from season 4. I think as far as the stuff from season 4 that happened that they haven't talked about... well, circumstances have changed so much, I think they're trying to bury the hatchet on it. I would prefer for them to talk things out, but I can see why it'd be more practical to just move forwards at this point, since most of it is moot.

Here's one of my major things I keep in mind for Marinette: sometimes she makes mistakes, even does things she should know are wrong (like with how she acted with Kagami in season 3, especially in Animaestro and Ikari Gozen) and it can take a lot to get through to her that something she's doing IS wrong, especially if she's using it to deal with her anxiety.

But once she does realize she's done something wrong? She does everything in her power to make the situation better, to learn from it. She did it in Maledikatator, she did it in Ikari Gozen, she did it in Crocoduel, and I think she's gonna try and do that with the Ladynoir Conflict as well. It's one of her finest qualities, and something that keeps her from going too far off the edge - or, well, more like bring her back to the edge after she's gone over it.

[nygmobblepot-slut]

My Nygmobblepot Journey

Alright, this is my entire Nygmobblepot journey from start to present. Here we go, it’s a long one...

-I started watching Gotham with a completely open mind. I knew very little about it and the characters, as I'm not necessarily a huge Batman fan I guess. (I've just not watched it is all.)

-Personally I like to find ships when I watch shows because it makes the show more interesting to me however with this one I didn’t really have any. 

-I did have favorite characters though, and right from the beginning too. My top two were Oswald Cobblepot and Edward Nygma. Naturally. 

-I loved them so much. I wanted them both to rise to the top and be happy. I relished the moment they first talked in the GCPD. I mean come on, my two favs talking for once?? That’s insane. I loved it. 

-THEN THEY BECAME FRIENDS. Ed saved Oswald and one thing led to another and suddenly my two little children were friends. I was ecstatic, could not have been more happy. 

-I was happy with just that, my “jump to conclusions” brain didn’t even think it possible that they would ever like each other as a romantic partner. 

-Then stuff started to happen and I was like wait a minute. Wait just a frick frackin minute. How had I not thought of it before? OF COURSE! Oswald and Ed! They’d be beautiful together. A power couple beyond belief!

-At that point, a couple episodes before Oswald actually admitted his love for Ed, my brother was insisting that that could never happen. It wouldn’t happen. That’s ridiculous and clearly crazy. 

-I almost believe him, but there it was right in my face. The way Oswald look at Ed, the way they acted around each other, I couldn’t deny that it was a thing. It was totally a thing. 

-When Oswald admitted he was in love with Ed I literally ran around the block because I had to much energy to get out of my system. This beautiful thing had snuck up on me. I didn’t know how to handle it. 

-I became so invested in their relationship. not that I wasn’t already because I enjoyed them just being friends, but to the extreme. I was so obsessed with the possibilities. My family thought I was crazy. 

-Then IT happened. The glorious truth was about to come out, I was finally about to witness a possibly legit Nygmobblepot moment on screen. Then SHE happened and fuuuuucked my entire life up. 

-I was beyond pissed okay, beyOND angry. I had been given this hope, been teased, and then was spit on. Why in the world would they fuck everyone over that bad? 

-I was perfectly content with my boys just being friends. I was happy with them being friends. And now? They’re literally enemies. 

-I didn’t ask for a ship. I mean I wouldn’t even be complaining if it worked out but it didn’t. And now two of my favorite characters are heartbroken and so am I. I feel personally attacked by the way this played out. 

-I understand that it probably never would’ve worked, but damn it they didn’t have to suggest it even would. I was content with them being friends, I would’ve understood if they stopped being friends, but why did it have to go that way? 

-To watch two characters who made each other so strong and happy, absolutely rip each other apart was so hard. 

(Warning! *Spoilers*)

-They didn’t kill each other, which gave me some kind of hope. It’s probably a mistake to hope but I can’t help it. 

-And now with this new episode? Sofia taking care of Oswald like that? Kind of reminds me of something a certain someone did for Oswald nearly two seasons ago. The only person Oswald had ever fallen for, Ed. 

-If Oswald falls for her it’s going to probably kill me. 

-For one, she’s got an ulterior motive. How could she not? He doesn’t know that and she’s manipulating him into trusting her which will fuck him up even more when she screws him over. 

-Two, he’s weak now having just gone through some terrible relationship issues. It may’ve technically been a friend break up, but it was still a break up. So he’s really not in the best mindset for falling for someone. 

-If anything I’d want Oswald to go back to his previous mindset about power over love rather than jump right into this new thing that he used to despise and look down on. I know he’s grown and changed but I don’t want this woman to make him weak and break him, furthering his doubts about love all together. 

-Then we have Ed, sweet stupid Ed. I kind of like the way he’s being humbled a little. I think he’ll get his intelligence back eventually but it’s interesting to see Ed deal with some challenges that don’t involve his love life for once.

Alright so to wrap it up I’ll put my semi-realistic-but-probably-won’t-happen theory...

-Okay so I’m thinking that one of the ways Nygmobblepot could become a thing again is going to happen over time. 

-It’s a possibility that both boys will be hurt and lost beyond personal repair. Grudges and egos set aside, they’re both so beaten down by life that they need each other to bring themselves back. 

-Obviously, Oswald could get tricked into something with Sofia, trusting her would be a mistake but he wouldn’t see this until after. Somehow he needs to loose everything, have no one. All his money, respect, and loyal servants are gone. He has nothing. He already looks on edge as it is, he’s fragile and sad and it wouldn’t be hard to take advantage. 

-It would go a little bit differently for Ed. He’d with Zombie Butch/Grundy now and is trying desperately to get his brain back in working order. Somethings got to happen to make him loose hope. He’ll get money with the fighting and try to fix his brain, but maybe nothing works like he thinks. What he needs is time, and to exercise his brain, reteach it. But he’s broken too, and he’s loosing hope. 

-But there’s got to be a way. Who is Gotham would be willing enough to take all that time and help him? Certainly not his new pal Grundy, or anyone else he use to associate with.

-Maybe Ed would go to Oswald and in his own head, just be ‘using’ him to make himself smart again. He apologizes to his ex-friend, and Oswald, who at this point has no one either, accepts his apology thinking it’s sincere. 

-Then they get started, Oswald takes the time to sit with Ed and help him get his brain unfrozen again, and says little riddles until Ed understands them. With practice and patience Ed gains back his intelligence bit by but, but also he’s starting to realize that Oswald was truly a good friend. 

-Once their both feeling like themselves again they can rebuild their empire and get back into the underworld of Gotham.

-If they’re able to put the past behind them it may be possible for them to be friends again.. or maybe eventually more. But I’d settle for just friends. 

So that’s it, my Nygmobblepot Journey. My thoughts on all of it, good and bad. But I want to know, what’s yours? Where do you think the show is going and what has been your reaction so far? 

Use ( #my nygmobblepot journey ) so I can read your journeys too!

[krism98]

Ungraceful Tendencies Part 5

“Nathan, Maloley? You’re Grace’s brother, correct?” She asks.

“Yeah, that’s me.”

“I will need for the rest of you to leave. I need to talk with Mr. Maloley, about Grace.” The boys leave, still hesitant. “Now. Please leave, and stay in the waiting room.” They leave, and it’s a couple minutes before she actually starts talking. “Sir, based on the information given by Samuel Wilkinson, and the evidence gathered in the examination that is part of our protocol, we were forced to contact the authorities, and need you to speak with them. I’ll let them in.” She opens the door, and steps out long enough for two policemen to step in the room.

“Are you Mr. Nathan Maloley?” I nod. “I’m detective George Shanty, and this is my partner, detective Allan Jones. We’re here in regards to your sister, Grace Maloley. Can you answer some questions?”

“Yeah, go ahead.”

“When was the last time you saw her?”

“About five or six years ago. She moved to Omaha, and we found out that she was my half sister. We have the same dad. We got real close, and her dad was screwed up in the head, man. I almost beat the shit out of him for making advancements on my mom. We all tried to keep her away from him as much as we could. She always had bruises, cuts, scrapes, and red marks everywhere. He kept saying’ she was clumsy as hell, but we knew. She wouldn’t tell us anything, and kept saying’ everything was good. Johnson finally told some cops, and showed some pictures, and they got child services involved. Then, they left, and I never saw her again.”

“Did you keep in contact?”

“Yeah, but it all got cut off a couple months ago. She told me her dipshit of a boyfriend, crushed her phone, for talking’ to me. He erased all her contacts before, but she remembered my number and just deleted the text history after we would talk. We got a little concerned when Sam lost contact, but we still could keep tabs with me. We flipped shit when I couldn’t get ahold of her. That’s when we started talking and Sammy started looking for a flight out here, and he couldn’t get a legit one until about a few days ago. He kept looking until he found her like yesterday, and the Jacks and I flew out as soon as he called us.” The detective nodded, while his partner was recording with a tablet.

“Alright. Mr. Wilkinson told the nurse, that your father isn’t to see her. As a relative, and sibling, do you agree to that?” “Hell yeah. I don’t want to ever see that asswipe’s face again.” I spat out. The detective with the tablet smiles.

“Alright. That’s all we needed. You’ll take her back with you, and she’ll attend rehab in Omaha, so as soon as she can, she’ll be gone.” He said. “For now, we’ll have someone outside the door, to make sure nothing and no one can get in.” They leave, and the nurse comes back in.

“Sir would you like for me to find you a pillow?” She asks.

“No. I’m not going to get much sleep tonight.”

“You still need to. I’ll bring you some just incase. Be careful of her tubes and wires, it wouldn’t be hard to pull one loose, or put a kink into it.” I nod, as I can lightly feel Grace’s grip on my shirt tighten. She smiles, as I carefully shift, laying back against the pillows, and moving the wires and tubes around, making sure they don’t get crushed. I pull the blanket over my legs, draping it across her body. Finally, relaxing, I allow myself to think over everything, grabbing my phone. I unlock it, and text my mom.

To: Ma

Hey, we found Grace. She’s coming home with me, to a rehab center. I’ll tell you more later. All of us are fine, Grace is asleep. Love ya.

I don’t read the text she sends back, I’m exhausted. Before I realize it, I’ve fallen asleep.

The next morning, I wake up, still in my brothers arms. He’s dead asleep, lightly snoring. He looks like he’s exhausted, as if he hasn’t slept in days. The door opens, and Johnson walks in.

“Morning Gracie.” He says.

“Nate looks like he hasn’t been sleeping right.” I say, quietly.

“He hasn’t. Ever since we lost complete contact with you, he hasn’t been able to sleep at all. The only sleep he got was when he passed out from exhaustion, and even then, it wasn’t enough. We’ve all been worried, but Nate’s been going out of his mind. When Sammy called us, he cried, because he was happy that you were found, alive.” He tells me. Tears gather in my eyes. I’ve hurt my family more than I realized, because I was selfish. I become anxious, all of a sudden, and begin craving it. But, I can’t get my fix, they don’t have it here. It’s illegal.

“You alright?” He asks, stepping forward.

“I’m fine.” I snap. “I just need some more.” His eyes go wide, immediately knowing what I’m talking about.

“Nope. You’re not allowed. You’re coming home with us, so you can get better. Get help. As soon as you’re stable, you’re going to be enrolled in a rehab program back in Omaha. So you can get better, faster.”

“I need it, Jack. I need it. You don’t understand. Weed isn’t addictive like heroine is. But it makes me feel so much better. It’s the best high you’ll ever get. I need more.” I begin to get extremely irritable.

[survivorsolomonislands]

Episode 5 “I HAVE LEARNED MY LESSON” -L.A.

Well I don't know what is going on with these other tribes, I'm confused how they went from voting a rookie to voting a veteran which makes me think I can't just rely on reconnecting with my veterans which means I might as well go ahead and lock in some alliances with the rookies on my tribe, who honestly I want out because they kinda annoy me. But I've learned a lot from my past experiences, I really feel like this is a redemption season for me, I have to suck it up sometimes that people rub me the wrong way, I have to play a game, lie to people, align myself with whoever will get me farther in this game. I'm not bringing the chaos this time I'm bringing the sneaky snaky self, hiss hiss. I've officially placed higher than 17th like I did last time which is good and right now I'm eager to make it to the merge so my game can really just explode and I can take control.

*SCREAMS* THAT WAS SO STRESSFUL, FUCKIN' HELL. AFTER I SAW MY NAME ONCE I WAS LIKE WELP I'M GOING HOME BUT NAH MONTY IS ACTUALLY TRUSTWORTHY. Looking back, I feel stupid for considering to work with Linus, but he was the person I talked to the most so I wanted to work with someone I liked. I HAVE LEARNED MY LESSON. (that's a lie, i'll probably make a rookie mistake later on) But I can pretend I'm older and wiser for now.

I found out that Linus went home during my 11-hour to home from college today, so I was planning out some confessionals outlining my next-step strategies because Linus was a close and valuable ally for me in this game and someone I really liked, but I watched the Survivor episode I couldn't watch live as soon as I got home and... all I want to say is that this puts things in perspective for me, truly, about how this is a game, and the tears I cried tonight, in my opinion, will have a profound impact on how I will play out the remainder of this game. I was reminded in the most dramatic way possible how this is all a game. Especially being someone who has, at times, blurred the distinction between real life and game in things that I've said and done, I'm looking at things through a completely different outlook after what I just witnessed transpire on national television. This is a game. This is literally just an online game. I'm going to make sure that I keep people reminded of that, that the experience can be as fun and enjoyable for people as possible, and that should I come close to blurring the line between game and life again... that I think back to the raw emotions this evening incited among the Survivor community and I remember how low-stakes this all is. I hope that this experience brings all of us in this game together so that we may approach the remainder of the season with respect, passion, and fun. I'll get back to you on strategies when there are less tears running down my face.

https://youtu.be/Q1XPLeE__oc This one BETTER BE UNLISTED.

we won reward and slither.io is fucking terrible so fuck that and let's catch y'all up with my strategies Linus went home, which was truly a wake-up call. Linus was someone I trusted and someone that I was fully aligned with and vibed with, so losing him - potentially at, as Zakriah suspects, Monty's hands - was rough. I've been playing this game on Easy Mode; we've been on cruise control since Day 1, going to Tribal Council once where Chrissa self-voted herself out 10-0, and have been immune ever since. This is literally my longest immunity streak in Tumblr Survivor history - 3 rounds - and it hit me that I haven't even been playing. No votes, no alliance-building and strategic developments... I'd been just winning everything and not worrying about jack squat. And then I see that Linus' ass is gone and suddenly my ass is grass - I've got one less ally in this game. I got woke up real hard and have now attempted to get out of cruise control and start course-correcting. I approached Dana with all this, because she's my closest ally in this game, and she agreed. On my way home yesterday, I was planning it out - form positive working relationships with the rookies because, if we keep winning, why not feel good with them in a potential swap or merge? I was planning on getting info out of Willow, and striking a deal with Allie. Instead, after having more convos with Willow, I elected to strike a deal with her; it's not official, but we've both got each others' backs, which loosely means that we're working together. I'm happy that Willow is the one I've formed a stronger relationship with because I truly see Allie as the bigger threat; we can boot Allie if we need to, and I can keep Willow around as my Katie. In Malaysia, I had a great and honest partnership with Katie; we were each others' ride-or-die, Katie because I was loyal to her and me because I felt like I could beat Katie in the end. I've got the same vibe about Willow here. She can be my partner and extra vote to the end of this game where I'll beat her - it sounds good. Now, I wanted to form good relationships with both Allie and Willow for two reasons: if we keep winning they're good allies in the advent of an inevitable future swap or merge, and if we do lose, then they won't be targeting me. Now, should we lose, my thought was to get rid of bigger rookie threat Allie, and should we lose again, take out Karen; the Karen/Monty/Lexi obvious trio shouldn't have a chance to reunite, but at the moment Karen is still a number with me, even if we hardly talk. I could be convinced to oust Karen first because Allie, while a bigger threat, might offer more future connections for Dana and myself, while the only connections Karen has are to a well-known solid clique that may have already turned against the veterans. The time will come to decide that. Until future events come to pass, my head is now back and placed firmly and square on my shoulders. No more easy mode, no more cruise control, and hopefully more premeditated and beneficial progressions.

me: finds idol clue that says in no uncertain terms that the idol is in the plane wreckage me: checks the cute vets' idol hunting doc and sees that someone has already checked there and, presumably, found the idol me: what the fuck now i'm sAD me: checks the plane wreckage anyways me: ...............fINDS THEF UIEDHFCUIEWDHXJ FUCKING IDKJCIOKWDHFNCIWS IDOL HUDEUWSIDHXS JESS CHRIST 

This is legit so fucking weird. In the google docs, somebody searched there... and if they did they should have the idol... but I HAVE THE IDOL???... So someone's fabricating where they're searching??? On paper, that kind of makes sense; lie about where you've actually been to hide places that you haven't searched and leave open places where you know it's not, so your alliance can search there and not find it. That makes sense. But this edit was literally the second edit in the doc. It doesn't make any sense at all how that edit is in there and i have the idol rn. I'm legit sketched the fuck out LOL but... I lied to Dana that i searched the pile of ash (lol) and that I found the clue that I really found days ago there, and she's on a tear now. On the topic of vets being shady, she thinks that Karen's out to get her. now that i've got the idol and am feeling ballsy... karen's a lot more expendable to my conceited ass now than she was when i was vulnerable. i'll take an idol, allie, and the risk of allie's people being out to get me over an idol, karen, and a trio getting allowed to reunite. letting karen stay definitively gives a clear-cut clique the chance to reunite. there's nothing clear-cut about allie, but even if there was unbeknownst to me, i've got the idol as leverage and protection. without that protection, i would've taken the known of karen/monty/lexi over the unknown quantity of allie's allegiance, but now... karen's ass is grass. But this is all conjecture. The immunity challenge is Jeopardy!, with only one tribe representing. Kendall and I fucking dominated this challenge in Malaysia and I'm optimistic that I could do so again, so I'm thinking our chances of going to Tribal Council this round are less than likely. But if we do... Karen :~) maybe u should've tried talking to me or dana ever lol

https://youtu.be/X8GKSbyfVX4

shitshitshithsit Im screwed ;_; ill try my best to try and create a legit looking fake idol but I dont see it working at all. Fuck you Mitchell!! Fuck you Ryan!!! and Fuck you Monty!!!! I hope you all get eaten by a bunch of crocodiles

mitchell: 2 tumblevivor jeopardy!: 1 :)

Okay so last night after we got the reward, I didn't get an idol clue, but I decided to look because it's smart to look every round. Anyway I went to the sunken ship again because me and Allie have been looking in there, and I went to the flooded control deck, and then to the old map, and I found a clue, I'm so excited! [Friday, April 14, 2017 12:22 AM] Isaac (Solomon Islands Host): <<< You pick up the map You notice something written on the backside Congratulations you have found the clue to the hidden immunity idol "While you want to be soaring and flying. These people did not and ended up dying"Isaac (Solomon Islands Host), Yesterday 12:22 AM I'm just really happy about finding this clue, because I think I know where to look now, but I'll just have to wait until next round. I told Allie about the clue and that she should look this round, so that we can find the idol faster, but I don't think shes looked yet. I'm just hoping whoever got the idol clue from the reward challenge doesn't find the idol before me and Allie. It's weird because at the beginning of this game I thought the idea of someone looking for the idol was crazy, but now I realize it's not, and I've been looking every round. On another note, Mitchell came up to me and told me that he got good vibes from me, and that he's got my back, which is really great because Mitchell is an awesome person, and hes someone that I really want to work with. To enable screen reader support, press shortcut Ctrl+Alt+Z. To learn about keyboard shortcuts, press shortcut Ctrl+slash.

Ok so Im ready to start throwing literally everything at the wall. I have a pretty cray cray move planned, hope it works out but atleast I would go down fighting.

Because Monty flipped on the vets - I already knew it, but Mitchell confirmed it after the jeopardy challenge - Aromal is screwed tonight and we got a rat in our midst. What Mitchell is thinking is since Monty is so quick to vote out a vet, we should scoop in Allie and Willow and take out some of his allies in a potential second swap situation. It's put me in a pickle bc I do want to work w Karen but I know I probably can't bc of the shit I've talked about Lexi already. So if worse comes to worst and we have to vote out a vet it'll be one of those three.

So while I am excited about winning immunity again I am kinda peeved that fricking Ulawa lost again and I can be expecting another vet to go which means the veterans are going to be down in numbers which I don't want because I want to be in a position where I can have both nuTemoana and the Veterans to work with, but if the rookies get the numbers than I may be at the mercy of the rookies in nuTemoana who I have been building bonds with slowly even though I will quickly get rid of any of them. I kinda wish Makira would like throw it or something because they have 4-2 over there and like again I find myself sitting back and waiting for the game to reach a point where I can be making moves and taking control. But if winning immunity every time is what gets me to the merge than I guess I'm okay with that because that would give me plenty of time to hide just how deceptive I can be.

So a lot has happened since the last tribal. Aro was our target - until he revealed that he has an idol, and showed us screenshots. Leaving us at a huge disadvantage, considering me, Monty, and L.A. have an alliance together and Aro is our only conceivable target. So Monty and I came up with a plan. Me and L.A. are voting for Aro, and him and Aro are voting for L.A. That way, if he plays his idol, L.A. goes home and not me or Monty (even though we don't really want her gone, at this point, we may not have a choice). And if he doesn't play his idol, me and Monty are the deciding votes and get rid of Aro instead. Our biggest worry is that Aro votes for Monty instead, meaning it ties between Monty and L.A., and then if Aro really wants Monty gone I have to make the decision of either voting out my closest ally, or going to rocks and risking myself. Actually no, if Aro plays his idol he'd be immune at rocks. So there's no way I wouldn't vote for Monty in that situation, because I'd be the only person pulling rocks. So really, this hinges on Aro doing what he's telling us he's doing, which is something really risky to bet on. I told Aro that I wanted to vote for L.A., just to solidify his vote for her. I really hope this goes as planned, and that Aro doesn't play his idol.

I need a better social game, coming into this game I knew it would be my tragic flaw and now I think I might go home because of it. It's already been established that Monty was unsure about me because we didn't talk a lot, and we don't. Daisy and I only became close-ish, after the Lily vote because we both felt in danger and needed someone to have our back but now she has an idol and better social game. The only person I talked to regularly, I voted out because I wasn't able to trust him and now I'm stuck with these people I am not close with at all and I get the feeling that they are close. Daisy and Monty seem to talk a lot and I'm not sure about Aro and where he stands. I feel like if I don't do something I'm going home tonight, Aro says he has an idol which I believe and Daisy and Monty are just saying lets vote Aro anyways, and it makes no sense. If he has an idol then he's going to use and since they aren't worried I'm clearly the target so now I have to do something to try and save myself. I'm worried about coming off paranoid, too aggressive, or untrustworthy but I have to do something, otherwise I feel like I'm just letting myself go home without a fight.

I talked to Aro, and basically told him everything. I wasn't wrong about possibly going home tonight, Daisy put my name out to him. Apparently, I'm good at challenges and that scares her. TBH, all I do is put effort in, I can go hard like I did with the word game, but besides that I haven't put that much effort in. I considered down playing when I first started but whats the point? I'd rather be seen as a strong challenge player rather than someone who doesn't try. At this point I can only hope Aro doesn't flip again, so we'll see how this all works out.

Okayyy I actually might have found an opening. Heres whats goin down tonight Daisy and Monty are voting me to try and flush my (very fake) idol. However they dont wanna be at the receiving end of my (very fake) idol so they told me to vote L.A . I figured out what they were planning and went straight to LA. We are now voting Daisy because she thinks both Daisy and Monty are voting for her. Oh and apparently Daisy has an idol too so if we manage to get rid of her we might send her packing with the idol. So the vote is gonna be 2-2 and L.A HAS to draw rocks or else Im screwed. PLEASE LET THIS WORK

okay okay me and LA are voting Monty not Daisy OH GOD PLEASE LET THIS WORK

I kinda feel bad for Ulawa since they've lost every immunity challenge. I'm also worried that after tonight's tribal there might be another tribe swap since Ulawa would be down 3 members (I think?). And if there is a tribe swap and I end up on a different "beach" then that'll be a little scary bc I'm so close to finding this idol. I know I used to complain about the first tribe swap but everyone on Makira has been really nice to me, even though I came into the swap down 4-2. Anyway I should I probably stop assuming that there might be a swap because I'll never know until it actually happens.