#my pal also told me ginger is good so guess who's gonna make some of that later today

[mocacheezy]

Me: *loudly and happily vocally stimming for a long period of time*

My throat:

[lucifear-o]

Help I Start School Tomorrow: A Check List

Do you need some sweet ass advice from somebody who’s spent no less than 18 years struggling through the muck of academia? Of course you do! Here’s a handy-ass dandy-ass guide to wtf should be going on in your pre-school prep!

Let’s get started~

1) What should I do with my day before I go back to the hell hole that is school?

I’m glad you asked! Do things that make the start of the semester feel like a fun and luxurious adventure awaits you! Especially for college and university people, the start of the semester loses pizzazz with age (and time).

Hype yourself up with some simple self care, these things don’t have to be expensive or cost anything at all if you can utilize what’s lying around in your kitchen, bathroom, neighbour’s house or wherever.

Wash your damn hair! Shower and take all the time you need, shave if you want to while you’re in there. The goal is to feel fresh and a lil less greasy the next morning.

Are you a lazy ass that doesn’t have time to moisturize? Me too! Get some Nivea in-shower lotion if you can, and before you towel dry douse yourself with baby oil gel (or literally just some olive oil or coconut oil- whatever you got lying around). Show yourself some love!!

Now is a great time to style your hair for tomorrow and protect it with a low pony or a night cap, btw

Do a face mask! Do a hair mask! Do a foot mask! Do whatever tf kind of mask you got handy! Use foods from your kitchen, or try Freeman masks they’re around 4$ each. Dollar store prices, department store quality.

Take an hour to fix your nails, toe nails, wax the stache or do any body maintenance you usually do. Pretend you’re going to a sick ass party and you’re grooming your meat vessel to perfection.

Lay out your sick outfit for tomorrow- pro tip: you want to be comfy and functional on buses/trains/on foot or however you commute. Think hard about the kind of weather you’ll be up against, and the general state of the terrain on your commute. Put your outfit on a hanger so it’s ready for tomorrow, even if you can’t do this every night during the school year it’ll get you in the right mental state to have your first day

Prep your meds! A big part of feeling good is taking our medications on time to reap their maximum benefits. Put them out on your kitchen counter if you think you’ll forget, go through your medicine cabinet: is there anything you need to remember to take with you to have during the day? Set alarms on your phone if (like me) you’ve got pills to take at different times of day- label them something that you’ll understand. (I use the names of the doctors that prescribed them so I know which pills are physical health and which are mental health).

Pack your lunch for tomorrow. Fruits and veggies bitch none of this “I’ll buy it when I get there” nonesense. Remember to stay hydrated! Bring some kind of receptacle to hold water/tea/coffee whatever. This is a solid habit to have year round, but remember the first couple school days can frazzle you pretty good and it’s good to have snacks on hand.

CLEAN YOUR GODDAMN ROOM. You’re gonna be shooketh in a bad way if you wake up on the first day of classes with a messy bathroom and shit strewn all over your sleeping space. Take all the time you need to put things lovingly away, if you’re feeling ambitious update your calendar and spray a little room spray or light a scented candle. Ooh la la

Do something fun. Do something distracting. Go out with a friend, read a book, take a couple hours of ‘me time’. You’ll be ready to die for it during the semester.

Feeling nervous? Call literally anybody you can stand to talk to for more than five minutes. Talk about dogs, talk about boats, ask them to guess how many jelly beans you’re holding right this second (sike b the answer is 0)- take a couple steps away from the whole school thing.

2) What the hell do I put in my backpack??

So this is where I fly into an unGodly rage. I’m so tired of seeing Instagram posts telling people their make up, perfume and breath mints are the most important of their school arsenal. What’s gonna save you when you bleed through your pants at school cause Aunt Flo decides to come chill on campus? Your perfume? Unlikely.

Here’s the real tea on what you should have in your bag, based on years of oopses, dire situations, and general mishap management.

A pencil case. Preferably full of writing implements. I can’t believe I have to tell people this but like......I do.....y’all childish

MEDICAL BAG: A small pouch is all you need! Tuck this away in your bag’s inside pocket, or in your purse, it could save not only your life but somebody else’s too. Get your prescriptions you need throughout the day like inhalers, anti anxiety meds, lactose intolerance pills, Imodium, symethicone etc.

Pack some ginger gravol (or regular drowsy gravol) for motion sickness or for when the flu season hits

Benadryl pills (and your epipen if you have one!) this is one of those things you should always have lying around at home and in your car

Alcohol swabs and band aids of your choice. Most pharmacies will sell 100 swabs for around 3$, look in dollar stores for discreet 1st aids packs and band aids. Stash them in your little pouch, it might not be you who falls down a flight of stairs and needs to bandage up their elbow- but at least you can help. (Based on a true story!!!!)

Panty liners/ tampons/ pads- this is another one of those things that others may benefit from

Get yourself a mini deodorant (3$ at Walmart) and wrap your hair ties around it. Double trouble, double storage capacity!

Tylenol/Advil, hunt around for little plastic pill holders like Pill Pals, they’re not usually more than 2 or 3 bucks and they hold A TON of pills

Vagina Bonus Round: do you take birth control? Have a tube of Canesten/Monistat/Vagisil or whatever for when the yeast season is upon us

Remember to carry your hospital card and/or medical insurance card on you at all times

Pharmacies will give face wipes individually wrapped for free. Usually brands like Cetaphil will dump them off as testers for customers- ask your local pharmacy cashier for stuff like mini hand creams, spf lip balms and face wipes. We’re happy to give them to you and you’ll get some real use out of them!

ASS WIPES. GET SOME. You can wipe down your bag with them, wipe down tables with them, flush them, and do all kinds of damage control. Trust.

Emergency money- the medical bag is a great place to hide emergency money (think bus fare, or 5$ for emergency food) because people are unlikely to rob what looks like a 1st aid kit

3. Friends come and go but portable chargers are forever- you can find cheap key chain ones at dollar stores. If you’re going to spring for one that lasts a few days on one charge I suggest the OKZU from Amazon. It’s HELLA SLIM and I can hold a charge for about 3 days before it reaches even 75% battery capacity. (It’s also the most budget friendly I’ve found to date about 14$ after shipping).

4. Remember make up, gum, little travel items and perfume can have a place in your bag but I would suggest transferring as much as you can into smaller and smaller containers. A whole bottle of perfume is a lot to carry around, imagine a water bottle bouncing around your bag- that’s the kind of space you’re using up. Be mindful of just how many books/ copy books/ textbooks you’ll be toting around and if it gets to be too much- get an actual tote!

5. A little clip on hand sanitizer never hurt anybody...also Kleenex I promise you’ll use it. (And if you don’t I’ll be there to borrow it lmao) ALLERGY SEASON BONUS ROUND: a small bottle of off brand artificial tears are great to stow in your glasses case for all those shitty October mornings where your eyes refuse to act like eyes and not the Sahara Desert 🐫 off brand artificial tears run for between 2-4$ at most Walmarts!

3) I’ve used my last 24 hours to get my shit together- but I have a horrible impending sense of doom! What should I do?

Ah anozzer day in bikini bottom, which means another day of crippling anxiety for 25% of adult Canadian students! (Wow that’s a lot of students!) Boy do I know how tough it is to be thrown back into the pressure cooker of life that we call school. Here are some tips from me to you that I hope help a little bit:

I believe in you! It’s not a tip, but I want you to know that I do. If you’re feeling unsure/ silly/ out of your element/ etc think about me wandering around just as confused as you are! And have a good laugh at my expense! Shoot me a DM, scroll around my nonesense blog- wow check me out I’m a real living person and I made this post for you- because why? I care about your well being! Sometimes it just helps to know that there’s somebody out there thinking about you and wishing for your safe return home at the end of the day~ for the start of your semester I’ll be that person. *smooch*

Arrive early! My therapist once told me that rolling out of bed five minutes before I have to be somewhere limits my chances of having a calm and meaningful experience where I’m going. I hate to admit it but she makes a good point. Wake up early and do something nice for you: have breakfast, just sit on your balcony and breathe some fresh air, pet your cat and gaze upon their stupid face. Take the time.

Arrive early BONUS TIP: get to where you’re going an hour early and just wander! Window shop, roam the building, learn where the fire exit is, sit outside on a bench and watch the students come in and out. The longer you chill at school the homier it’ll feel, and the more you feel at home somewhere the more you feel at ease. Strike up random convos with strangers if you’re feeling brave, or text an understanding friend to meet you there and roam alongside you.

Plan your day! Get an agenda if it’s in your means, or just scribble on some scrap paper. Make your grocery list, write your tasks of the day, your goals of the day, or even just a positive affirmation. Sometimes even when I know exactly what I’m doing that day, or have something trivial to do (like laundry) I’ll write down “do laundry” to feel like I have a clear path to follow.

Embrace your local accessibility Center and school councellor. Don’t live in fear of the resources your school provides. It seems scary/embarrassing/weird to have to have special accommodations to deal with your anxiety or depression but GIRL once you’re all set with the appropriate tools there’s truely nothing that can stop you. This was my experience anyway, but I strongly urge everybody I meet to take advantage of school services and wring them for all they’ve got. They’re there for you boo!

HOT TIP: feeling dizzy and overwhelmed on the bus? Look at the wall or something that isn’t moving. DONT LOOK OUT THE WINDOWS AS THIS MAKES DIZZINESS WORSE. Breathe in 2 beats and out 3 beats- this cuts your fight or flight. If you’re going to drink take small sips out of a straw or without moving your head. My GP gave me this advice and it’s saved my whole ass quite a few times.

Download free apps that are anti anxiety in the form of fun games. I’ve had positive results with Viridii (where you grow a little succulent garden) Tap Tap Fish (basically you’re a sentient coral that decorates the sea floor) and Polytap (you basically count the vertices of spinning polygons). A cursory google search will reveal more fun games for emergency anxiety relief! I also like to go on YouTube and search for positive affirmation anxiety videos, or storm/white noise/ ocean anti anxiety sounds the night before to get me in the right headspace to sleep!

So this has been your lightning round/ crash course for what to do the 24 hours before school! I hope you feel a little more prepared to take on the start of the semester!

A dios hoes!!

[songofmysnark]

“Don’t,” by Ed Sheeran, part 2

[Knock knock] on my hotel door I don't even know if she knows what for She was crying on my shoulder I already told ya Trust and respect is what we do this for

First of all, how the fuck did she know which hotel and room you were in?  Did she text you?  Did you invite her over?  It sounds like she knew exactly why she showed up, but you weren’t sure what would happen and you wanted to pin it on her because you have trouble admitting that you’re kind of needy.

But moving on, my tatted up Weasley.  This is all very “Nice Guy (TM).”  She knocks on your hotel door and you don’t know why she came to you, but she was crying on your shoulder?  I don’t know, man, I think what you’re trying to say is “I don’t know if she wanted someone to listen and empathize or if she wanted to get laid because I’m bad at communicating and too much of a clueless, self-centered moron to ask her about her feelings prior to her showing up at your hotel room” but I’ll let it slide.  The story doesn’t add up, but let’s move along for the sake of getting to the real shit.  

“Trust and respect is what we do this for,” fine.  Whatever.  If you say so, pal.  But if you’re going to use that line, don’t expect any woman over the age of 25 to be impressed with this next round of malarkey...

I never intended to be next But you didn't need to take him to bed that's all And I never saw him as a threat Until you disappeared with him to have sex of course It's not like we were both on tour We were staying on the same fucking hotel floor And I wasn't looking for a promise or commitment But it was never just fun and I thought you were different

SCREEEEEECHING HALT, BUDDY PAL.  First of all, lyrically, this sucks.  And the way you sing it makes it sound very much like you want to be EDGY for singing about SEX like oooooh, they had SEX.  Pal, you’re an adult.  The whole “I’m going to talk about sex, and very explicitly call it sex because I’m having sex” thing is very, well, it’s something kids in college do when they’re getting laid for the first time and think they’re the first people to have discovered the joys of penetration.  It makes you sound like you’re kind of too young and inexperienced to be singing this song anywhere, much less on a stage or in a recording studio.  Dude, you could have left out the word sex and we’d still know she was schtupping another fellow.  You think it sounds like a pointed, painful jab but it makes the rest of us cringe reeeeeal hard for you.

But let’s discuss the whole situation.  In Part 1, we established that you lack basic organizational skills and are very crappy at logistics.  It’s also clear that you’re not very good at communication, since you never actually managed to spit out the details of what happened, which suggest that you never actually talked about whether or not you were exclusive.

Here are some RED FLAGS, my gloriously dorky ginger garden gnome:  “I thought you were different.”  Nope, pal, do not pass go, do not collect $200.  That is some subtle and insidious shaming of this woman for no reason.  Let’s flesh out what you mean by that -- or at least what this phrase means in terms of cultural context and general understanding.  That line you used?  That very much means “I thought that you would treat a fling as a monogamous relationship so that I didn’t have to commit to a relationship with you, but now that you have decided that you’re not going to sleep with me exclusively -- despite the fact that neither of us agreed to a monogamous relationship -- I’m going to use a madonna/whore trope to make you feel guilty about doing something that was completely, 100% within the parameters that had been established.”

Ed, you basically decided in your head that this person was only going to fuck you.  You never talked to her about it.  You never promised her the same thing in return.  

You had a fling and you liked it, then she decided that she wanted to sleep with someone else, you hadn’t talked about being exclusive, and you were hurt.  Buddy pal, that sucks.  The correct thing to do in this situation is to lick your wounds in private, admit to yourself that monogamy is important to you and that you personally need to negotiate that early on in order to feel safe and secure in a relationship, and not use fucked up “I didn’t think you were that kind of [slutty] girl, but I guess you are!” guilt tactics in order to divert attention away from the fact that you done fucked up, son.

And you never thought you would be next? For what, marriage?  Yeah, no shit, pal.  You were not in line to be next for anything because you were having a casual fling and didn’t express any sort of fucking interest in anything beyond sitting on a couch, watching movies, and having pale, fumbling missionary position sex with this woman.  You were never going to be “next” for anything because you didn’t fucking show any sort of desire for a relationship.  You established early on that this was kind of a nice, comfortable, convenient thing for you.  She likely thought the same, and then was like “cool, this other dude has a bangin’ bod and doesn’t look like Ron Weasley’s second cousin, I’m gonna bang that like a screen door!”  And she tapped it like a maple, Ed.  And it was glorious, and then she started crying -- and what happened?  WHO KNOWS, you’re a shitty songwriter and can’t manage to give enough context for the tears, nor any interest in her as a human being to bother!

And really, Ed?  You were staying on the same hotel floor and she had sex with someone else and you were both on tour?  Okay, if she’s on the same hotel floor and on the same tour, is she your employee?  Also, why the fuck are you somehow convinced she wasn’t completely within her rights to sleep with someone else if she was very blatantly bringing this person to a hotel room down the hall from you?  It sounds like you weren’t in a fucking relationship, pal.  You just wanted all of the perks and none of the fucking responsibilities, and monogamous sexytimes based on your pre-conceived notions of purity and social dynamics that suggest that women you deem acceptable won’t have casual sex with anyone but you because that’s what you secretly want but are too chicken-shit to ask for.

Buddy, let me break something down to you:  You’re acting like a shit head in this situation and if this song is actually based on some real events, it does not paint you in a positive light.  It doesn’t even paint you in the light of a flattering victim of a slutty mcsluttyslut slutface.  It makes it very obvious that you lack basic communication skills and feel bitter when women don’t do what you want them to do.  It’s not a good look, Ed.  Knock it the fuck off.

This is not the way you realize what you wanted It's a bit too much, too late if I'm honest All this time God knows I'm singing Ah lahmlahlah

AHHHH LAHMLAHLAH.

Oh, so she wanted to be with you?  Can you fill us in with exactly what happened between fucking another dude and crying to get you back?  Because it seems really fucking odd.  What the hell did you do to contribute to this clusterfuck?  Are you the one who made her cry?  Did you send passive aggressive text messages to her? 

My money is on you being kind of a dipshit and getting very mad that she slept with someone else, despite that being fully within the boundaries you had set up with her.  And she trusted you, and then you were kind of cruel and distant and withholding to punish her for not worshipping your pale, freckled knobby peener, she cried because you fucking hurt her feelings, and then you pinned it all on her because you’re too much of a coward to accept the consequences of your actions like a grown-ass adult man.

[survivorinternational]

Episode 7 - "I want to play this game like a bad bitch and win it." - Clash

Me when I hear someone named Ginger is in the game: *Gilligans Island Theme plays* Me after hearing about Ginger and hosts warning us: *Psycho Theme plays*

----------

I need to make sure I balance my OG Ala Mai alliance and my New Faatasi alliance properly. Both are important for moving forward.

Merge is amazing, I'm super happy that Allan came back and not Ginger. I received 2 votes last tribal council so when I figure out who that other vote came from..... nothing will happen really. I suspect either Vilma, Tyler or Liana.

----------

I'm trying not to take charge this vote, but I'm riding a fine line between people being too passive to make a solid decision, and making a decision for them, which could cause them to turn on me, unfortunately I have to decide which side of the fence I'm on soon, as it's late.

I'm so glad I got back in the game! That puzzle was so hard and honestly I'm shocked I was able to do it faster than Ginger. I decided to go for immunity over the idol clue because I didn't know what people would think of me coming back and I think I can use this extra round to make some allies and get myself back into the swing of things. Plus, I wasn't even guaranteed an idol.

Hi I guess I’m meant to make a confessional. So turns out jacob doesn’t think I voted for him? A hoot and a half if I do say so myself. So we done did it we made merge. Look I’m trying to form strong bonds with these kiddies while staying under the radar. We had a big debacle last vote where people lied to me but we’re MOVING on. Anywho I’m stressed because randy will probs target me cause of our messy history Oopsies. Trying to move on with me aussie pals lets see how this goes. I’ll probs go but who cares 

Guess which idiot turned off his computer before doing his confessional... yay!!! Quick one YAY merge Boo Redemption island YAY Ala Mai Boys are back in town Boo this challange Yay Ginger isnt back... that couls be Awkard Boo i didnt get an idol or immunity Fuck no one is talking Fuck other obvious alliance has the power FUCK I AM SO LOW ON THE TOTEM POLE!!! 

I want to play this game like a bad bitch and winning the very first immunity is very relaxing because nor hearing any name until now it’s so worrying so I am glad I have won the immunity to take care of myself and be immune I need to make sure my allies stay safe and I want to play this game like a bad bitch and win it

i’m absolutely in some shit this tribal i’m in the middle of two sides side one: vilma, michael, jacob, stephen?, allan? side two: patrick, randy, liana, clash tyler idk where he is the thing is i’m close with vilma, michael, and jacob who want one of patrick or randy out. and im also close with patrick and randy who want jacob or stephen out. this is a big problem because no matter what happens i make half of the people mad? maybe? unless i can finesse my way into making people love me again once this round it over there’s a lot to think about because why the fuck would liana put clash first on her list when they’ve never been on a tribe together? OH theyre playing a big brother game together!! with RANDY!! and randy and clash and patrick are all close!! and patrick was super happy when liana won immunity and he told me this!! that side 1000% thinks i’m with them when i’ve really been the most loyal to vilma and michael. i think there’s equal opportunity to lose on each side. i don’t talk to stephen, allan, or tyler so there’s no reason for me to want either of them to stay. but people want to go after randy/patrick/liana/clash who i think i’m close with?? and trust?? so it’s going to be a really hard decision for me at the end of the day, vilma is my number one and michael is a close number two but after them is everyone on side two, and then at the bottom is the rest of side one. i think i need to decide if i want to keep two powerful close connections or four newer, less influential connections. and also how long do i want to keep side one (the more obvious and threatening players) in the game as shields so people pay attention to THEM and not ME? lots to think about boys 

i made merge and its beautiful. just the way god intended it to be i had freshman orientation so its time to see it the connections i made before merge are strong. if they are then im not going home, if they arent then bye bye. i told emily about the idol clue

I now want Randy out more than ever, he gave me the most blunt answer ever and basically called me out for suggesting his name. I'm the only blunt unlikable person allowed in this game. 

I literally have no idea what is going on at this point. I just don’t want me clash randy Emily liana Stephen or Allan to leave 

Let this be a mile marker, theres a video confessional incoming its just taking ages to upload. Things have changed now though, the votes have switched from Randy to Liana. However, they’ve said Clash and Pat are on board, but they never told me that? so now im worried.

----------

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1nuHLw8jnxDUfVspcjJUA1ELqOB4u-kbg/view?usp=drivesdk

god damn insanity that’s what this round is so everyone was voting either randy or liana. jacob suggested randy. allan suggested liana in an effort to save randy. and then i told randy what was happening so he would vote liana and we’d have a majority. and then. he does what i was DREADING he was gonna do. and he suggests we vote for anyone other than liana. in my eyes, this confirms how close he and liana and clash are bc they’re in another game together (which was concerning to everyone this round!). and so now that randy has pushed the vote to JACOB, i decided to flip it away from jacob and liana and back on to randy. he’s willing to jeopardize his game to save liana? that’s a big red flag. how is he so close with her? she never talks to anyone! i think her, clash, and randy are so fucking sus. so we’re chopping off the head of the snake. allan still wants to vote liana, but i’m trying to convince him to vote randy. never the less? i think we have the majority? how the votes will ideally fall tonight randy: me, vilma, michael, stephen, jacob, tyler, allan(?) jacob: patrick, randy, liana, clash a good ole 7-4 so this has been a stressful vote BUT i’ve been in the middle the whole time and i think everyone is relying on my vote so i feel safe at least for rn. i need to do damage control afterwards but i think i’m okay for now. this is so fucking stressful 

Ok so I don't have time to type a proper confessional but we merged and the silly redemption twist I was so afraid of came true so I had a major mental breakdown but thankfully Allan ended up coming back instead of Ginger. Now the vote seems to be between Randy, Jacob and lowkey Liana and I am pretty sure I'm voting Randy unless something crazy happens last minute because he threw out my name and I don't like that. Plus it would be easy for me to explain the move to the other side: why would I want to keep someone who threw my name out there? I won't. I don't know if we have the numbers and I could definitely see even myself going out tonight if there's an idol play happening it's been a mess bye.

[survivorinternational]

Episode 1 - "You are an evil psychopath... but I kinda dig it." - Veni

STEPHENS BACK 

I love love how these tribes are split up but I’m kind of nervous about playing with people I’ve played other things with before! There was only one person I didn’t already have added and that is Daniel. I’m just going to try to stay on everyone’s good side and maybe try to get close with everyone? I think that we are going to have a strong tribe so that’s a plus! 

Israel is not in Europe

----------

So since this is "International" I decided to call everyone in our tribe be either their home country or town. So Clash is Richmond. Vilma is Oulu. Ginger is Israel. Allan is Scotland. I have yet to talk to Latvia but they appear as a very busy person. So it's Day 2 right now and I have just woken up. Me and Oulu stayed up 'till 6 AM last night just talking and chilling. I really like her so I hope we can make it far. I also like Richmond because that is a cool name so we established a 3-person group. Richmond insists on repeating F3 every 5 minutes which is pretty scary but I'll just disregard it for now. I am enjoying the diversity of our cast, proud to be a European seeing as the other tribes are basically just Australia and just USA. Right now I'll try to put some work into this flag I guess since nobody has taken initiative.

So its off to a relatively good start, I’ve talked with 3 other tribe members and they seem pretty cool, i got a good rapport with Tyler and Jacob especially. They also had good input into the challenge to so, yay. The other to however haven’t spoken, and we can’t blame time zones cause their like, at most an hour seperate. Be careful Sluggyg and Dylan, we lose a challenge we’ll be looking at you. I’m not gonna pm them first though, trying not to come off too needy yet, I’ll give at least some pretense of not being absolutely bonkers. 

Good lookin. Nah jk. So I have to admit I was a late bloomer in terms of speaking in the group chat and I conveniently missed the people I didn't know - Tyler, Dean. I have a history with Jacob and I know Michael from a previous community so I have hit the ground running with the idea of sticking together but nothings too solidified yet so hopefully in a bit I'll find myself in a majority! The only thing Stephen said to me so far is "heyo" and "ya I teach english", so.. 

Ok so Hi. I hate u all why am i here. Im nervous cause im out here trying not ti be the first boot and have to have my dog comfort me while i cry to sleep. Literally shaking in slides. Everyones a bit of a hoot, all male tribe! Wowee. Just going be pals with all these kiddies. Although the flag they made is literal trash, ill be nice :) 

hey boys time for my first confession that will be longer than it should be and not entertaining in the slightest so the cast reveal was interesting! i wasn’t expecting many familiar faces at all, maybe like one or two people i sort of know of. but when i saw ruthie and randy, i was honestly relieved. ruthie and i have always been good allies together in games and i love her a lot. she’s loyal and funny and smart. just overall wonderful person to play with and i’m really happy to have her here. also, seeing randy was so good too. honestly i know he has a ~rEp~ for being not the greatest, but i don’t particularly care. i feel like we’re going to get along really well in this game. the only thing that annoys me is that him talking to me at first was all like, “oh emily you’re so a good player i love you please don’t vote me out get me to merge xo” like he was purposefully inflating my ego because....... people generally think i have a big ego. and a year ago, yeah i definitely did. that’s why i lost both of my last two main season games. my ego got in the way and i got too confident, too cutthroat, too rude, too self absorbed. and so much has happened in my life, i’ve been taken down a few notches and the last thing i want is for people to think i’m a narcissist. i’ve worked on myself a lot and it’s just sad to see people treating me like this like they think it’ll guarantee me wanting to work with them. sigh. anyway, continuing with the other people: my skype app will NOT give me notifications when daniel or patrick send me messages and it’s frustrating me high key because they’ll respond two minutes after i send a message and i won’t see it for hours, even if i check the chat. new skype is ruining my social game yeah! but in general pat and daniel seem cool. only person i’m weary of is liana! i didn’t realize at first, but she’s married to chips who....... hates me LMAO! i’ve never played a game with her so here’s to hoping she doesn’t have an idea of me in her head already. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ other tribe comments: i saw vilma in a game for the first time like well over a year ago and was like i am in LOVE with her and i want to MARRY her. she’s so pretty and seems so funny and when we’re on the same tribe we WILL be best friends and if we’re not i’m THROWING HANDS!!! it has to happen. has to! i don’t think i recognizes literally anyone else? everyone is pretty much unfamiliar to me. so how i’m feeling right now: randy is really good at making flags! and confident that we’ll pull through with reward tbh. like he’s very talented. i’m gonna put together a makeshift flag too just in case it’s ugly and also to show that i’m active and here and contributing, but i doubt it’s going to be bad. and also it’s only reward! if we don’t win, i don’t mind it that much. my fear is that we end up going to tribal the first round! i don’t know how strong this tribe is in terms of challenges. i don’t know anything about liana, daniel, or patrick. i don’t remember anything about randy or ruthie when it comes to challenges either. so we’ll have to see! daniel told me he played on discord so he’s probably used to more text based challenges or flash games, which is very helpful because i’m bad at both. but from my experience, typical tumblr challenges are far different from typical discord challenges. yeah. also, randy and i shared our idol guesses and both found nothing. i went around camp -> shelter -> on top -> nothing and he went around camp -> treemail -> (uhhh something i already forgot lol) -> nothing. i’m gonna share mine with him every round as like a trust thing. idk if he’ll tell me the truth but i’ll tell him the truth! idc honestly! :p okay end of this long confession i hope you had fun reading if you read this far give me an idol clue xoxo emily (dennis remember in mongolia when i told you the exile idol was under a girl’s name) (i’m sorry) 

So the reward challenge is a flag making challenge. I hate a lot of the things, but I am taking a step back since I have been told I can be controlling in the tribe stages when it comes to challenges. So I want to see how well the tribe performs without me stepping in. 

Day one thoughs: Yes!!! A tribe full of people with similar time zones. Jacob and Sluggy are here, nice. UHC alliance has already been suggested... not sure how to feel. Talked to all other tribe members. Everyone seems nice... dont quite trust Tyler yet... seems shifty Reward challenge: Not a fan of original design. Spent a bit of time working on another design... which i had more time to make it better. Seems to be good enough, will see what tribe says. Idol search round one: nothing

me: so yeah just send me your image so I can do all the work and make the flag everyone: (by the way these confessionals will be over the top and not express my true true  feelings, i.e. I'm exaggerating everything)

----------

The plan is to kill people with kindness! I really don't plan on winning but i'd love to if I am able to. I just hope I stay long enough to talk to most. My two closest friends are Richmond and Oulu. Oulu is super nice and we talk often so that is cool ----------

Oh lord I am actually exuding so much time in this survivor good thing it is summer geez 

----------

Ginger spoiled 2 survivor seasons in the same message I am crying :(

So i finally got to talk to everyone on the tribe. Tyler seems rlly friendly and talkative which kinda draws me towards him. Stephen is more analytical and observant... Dean is just the passive, looks on and watches kinda guy. Both Stephen and Dean want to be or are writers so. One thing great about working with Stephen would be someone people target as a strategic threat instead of me - but I don't know if I'll be able to work well with him atm... 

Okay I was gonna wait until after the immunity challenge to do my first confessional but I am DYING. So Veni is making our flag (which honestly I'm not too sure about but I'm awful at art so I can't really say anything) and he asks for pictures to use in it. So I send him a picture of me sitting on a throne, which I took at a bar near me. and this bitch..... Goes "It's like ghetto Game of Thrones, I love it!" BITCH!? Ghetto? Honestly this guy needs to take it down a notch because he's trying way too hard to take control of the reward challenge and is being super bossy and I think people aren't gonna take that for much longer. 

As for the first day of this season I’m loving it so far. Loving the activity and positivity in our tribe and people here are very friendly. Already have started conversation with Clash, Vilma and Ginger. Trying to develop early relationships that will be necessary for the rest of the game. Just need to show activity in tribe chat so my tribe mates not see me as an inactive player because inactive players are usually the first one out. 

So we won the reward challenge and we get a firemaking kit, and inside there's an immunity idol clue. Jacob and Stephen both get it, and Jacob told me it was hidden at the beach. I have no clue if he is lying or not, but if he isn't it means God was right to tell me yesterday that it is at the beach. Now i just need to be the first one to search the next time around. 

----------

So talking with Stephen, he seems to say the word "snazzy" a lot, so I've nocknemaed 

----------

Oops i didn't finish...I nicknamed him "snazzy Stephen". What's Snazzy Stephen gonna call snazzy today!?

So we won the reward challenge! Great. The morale seems fairly high amongst our tribe. I've had conversations with pretty much everyone in some way. No talk of strategy or alliances have begun, from what I'm aware. I hope we win this challenge, because I feel good about this tribe. 

I mean, can I not flop this first challenge ? I feel like this tribe is a very good mix of people, chemistry is there so now we just need not to be total failures ! hehe 

After all the bonding I love this tribe, Dean is a lot more reserved than the rest of the tribe and hasn't approached me yet, but everyone else has talked. I've got a nice alliance with Michael and Sluggy, as well as some trust with Tyler and Stephen. After Michael won us the firemaking challenge I found the idol clue. Once everyone has used their firemaking advantage, I'll decide who I share the clue with. So far I have told Sluggy and then Stephen got the clue. All Giraffes Deserve Kisses.

Usually I wouldn’t mind going to the first tribal, but with 6 people all it takes is one misstep to be the target, and I don’t want to risk that. That being said if it does come down to that i think Jacob, Tyler and I will stick together, all we need is one more than that. 

looking over the whole cast, I realised I know Dani & Sluggy from other survivors that's cool

----------

I got 30 point something seconds like 3 times I hate fairdyne

So basically I've talking quite a bit with Emily and Randy, they're great people. Overall people are super nice, it's awesome! The Ala Mai flag winning is bullshit though what kind of judges were those? I'd have been fine with Faatasi winning, that's a nice flag, but Ala Mai's was ugly af sorry bros 

So, Emily and I are working together to try to find the idol! Which is exciting, hopefully one of us will find it. If I do I’m pretty sure I’ll tell her because it will show that I trust her?!! I talk to her and Randy the most on our tribe and I really don’t know where I stand with everyone else

----------

i got a big fat 0 for the team but I’m glad our tribe won! Everyone else did great.  Hopefully no one points out how weak I was in the challenge. I’m going to savannah for the night tomorrow so I’m glad not to worry about tribal council while I’m out of town! Yay for not being the first boot!

ok see I am here to win but I got ginger on my tribe!! we love us a good ol rival so yeah even though he's acting fake and said he wants work with me I can't trust him with that I have built a good connection with Veni and Vilma and hope they will stay loyal as well. I am worried about the tribal as my score was bad but lets hope for the best 

Right. So we’ve just won the immunity challenge but all the rats on my team did well so it doesn’t give us an easy target for any upcoming tribals. I got some T from Michael letting me know that both Jacob and Dean found the clue to the hidden immunity idol and they told him but not me. First off rude considering I told Jacob I’d tell him if I found it. I’m in an uncomfortable situation already on this tribe, I feel like i don’t have as strong of connections as everyone else and it’s scaring me. All I need is two friends to guarantee my safety and it’s looking like those friends will be Michael and The kid from Singapore (don’t remember his name oops). This season feels different, I usually feel powerful but Rn I feel like I’m having to push to navigate my way into relationships with people. Also some of these guys on my drive give off the arrogant and cocky vibe and I hate it. 

Only one in my tribe to win a challenge, got the r/ultrahardcore alliance, everyone knows the idol clue because Michael got looser lips than Mia Khalifa.

I *think* we're voting Emils? I mean he's been the least active and from I've been told he has not talked to people much (including me) so. I hope it goes well. Usually I am pretty calm in the survivors I play but goddamn I am paranoid. Maybe since I am enjoying myself so much so I don't want to go yet? 

----------

Logically I won't be voted out here, right? I've talked to basically everyone a fair bit, I did the whole flag and I got 2/2 possible points. I'm safe.. right? 

----------

Here is veni's power rankings of the people in my tribe: 1. Oulu 2. Tel Aviv 3. Richmond 4. Allan 5. Emils 

----------

So I re-read my Fairy Survivor S2 stuff I wrote pre-game and goddamn if I am not a broken record. I am basically doing the same thing this time I love it lol. I do hope the experience I got in the year and a half between those has taught me valuable lessons. 

----------

Tel Aviv has really high gamesense and sense of strategy. We both discussed how important it is to have that one loyal person to win. I hope he implies I am his. For me it's Oulu I think

Okay so the first round is almost over. Thankfully my tribe was able to win immunity because I am not ready for tribal that's for sure! These small tribes freak me out. But...if we do end up going to tribal I am ready because I FOUND AN IDOL! I'm a little skeptical because it was way too easy and so I'm scared everyone has an idol but we shall see. I'm really terrible at games in the beginning because I hate awkward small talk so I was definitely scared of tribal. I'm not in any alliances yet but hopefully that is because it is still early. I'm trying to prove myself an asset and I was glad I did great at that shark game. It was very challenging to play because I had my baby smashing my keyboard or mouse and closing out of the game in the middle of playing, ahhaha. 

Day 2: Won Reward challenge!! WOOT!! All that effort wasn't for naught. The /r/ultrahardcore alliance was made between Sluggy, Jacob and myself... Im not sure how I feel about this. Immunity challenge announced, Flash games while I'm at work. FUCK FLAPPY BIRD I can do this Hextris and Shark game... I will submit one of these. Fire lighting challenge, I fail at striking a light. Sluggy and Jacob tell me that Jacob has an Idol Clue, it is apparently on the beach. Continue my chats with everyone. Dean also tells me about the Idol clue, either its on the beach and people trust me or there is an alliance that is fabricating stories. Work out everyone but Tyler knows about the clue so I tell him Gained Tyler's trust End day 2 Day 3: We win Immunity, YES!!! I spent the day continuing to build relationships. Mention to Jacob the Tyler doesnt think he likes him and to win Tyler's trust Jacob told Tyler about the clue, but it seems to only further distrust as he waited so long to tell him about it. This could have made Tyler distrust me more as well... Working with Jacob could be dangerous down the line. /r/UHC needs a 4th... Dean and Tyler's names are suggested. Trash talk hosts in tribe chat all day. Im worried my chattiness may put a target on my back, will need to be careful. End Day 3 

I’m loving my tribe and our female avatar presence. Whoever is rob Mariano I kind of want to vote out though. I’m super glad we won immunity and I don’t have to try super hard to be chatty. Loving the format so far 

HI I'M VILMA AND I'M VERY EXCITED TO PLAY I also suck at making confessionals because they take a lot of effort for my Finnish speaking ass so I like to just copy bits from my host chat, be prepared Right off the bat I was confused because I didn't get cast with anyone I would've played with before. I recognized a few familiar faces but most people I have no frame of reference for. This meant I couldn't rely on riding with any pre game relationships and I had to actually socialize with people. Thank god we didn't have a one world phase this time around so I only had to keep up with five other people! Clash playing hard right off the bat I specced his season so I know he was a big moves type of guy haha I wanna make sure I'm on his good side My tribe is very active But I'm Very Scared Of The Zwooper People They tend to be crazy And I'm not about that crazy life at all I CAN'T EVEN WITH VENI WHERE DOES HE GET ALL HIS JOKES FROM I LOVE HIM Alright I think Veni and I are the only ones left awake And He is my favorite I've talked to everyone except the Latvian guy or was he Lithuanian THE BALTIC GUY Ginger and Clash both seem like people I need to be wary of Power players for sure, and good socially And according to Clash they have bad blood from previous games So I can see them targetting each other if we go to tribal And Clash already made a three way alliance between myself him and Veni Which I'm okay with, as of now Veni I definitely want to work with And I prefer staying on good terms with Clash Allan I have neutral feelings towards, only talked to him a bit so far But I stan the Europe tribe I just can't keep up with multiple convos at once so it's been super confusing Already shared my idol guesses with Veni and Clash I think I'm the only girl on my tribe Not a big fan of that fact Really wanted to play with Emily I hope we both make it to a swap so I could meet her Chatting with these people I've started to realize how much I abuse caps lock and exclamation points It's a really bad habit Should probably tone it down, everyone must be thinking I'm screaming at them constantly I'm playing so different compared to how I usually play I usually never initiate convos And try to step up as little as possible While still being friendly with everyone But now I've been very social It's weird Feels like I'm harassing everyone ... Unfortunately, we lost the first immunity challenge ... YIKES I'M GOING TO BE THE FIRST BOOT CALLING IT NOW HOW TF DID THEY GET 6 MILLION I think Emils might be the target Which I'm okay with since he seems to only be online a bit in the evenings Everyone knows I hate losing challenges so I want active people He seems really nice though, but seems like everyone has talked to him the least Clash told me that him and Ginger have decided to leave their past behind so I guess they're not going to target each other just yet I'm glad he's telling me this though it makes me trust him a bit more But I'll still keep my eye on both of them _ Ok hi I'm checking in about an hour before tribal and as far as I know Emils should be going home tonight. It's been super quiet around camp though and it makes me feel paranoid, but I hope it'll be an easy first vote. Veni wants me to make a chat with him and Ginger so we could solidify we make it through next round if we end up having to go to tribal again. My issue is I think Clash and Ginger are closer than they seem and I'm scared if we made a chat without Clash and he found out about it he could become angry. That's why i'd rather it to be a four-way chat between me, Veni, Clash and Ginger but we shall see what happens in the next few hours I guess.

Okay that went perfectly. Ngl when Ginger was like "someone doesn't know it's them tonight" I FREAKED. Then my name gets written down at tribal and I was like ????. I mean luckily it wasn't me but god that was scary. I really hope we win this next immunity I can't deal with that stress rn lmao. I also have no clue who I'd vote out. Also in other news, Chase is cute af! I'm gonna be so embarrassed when he leaves and is able to read this but it's true. I definitely wanna keep him around for a bit lmao. 

jesus christ ginger you are an evil psychopath.. but I kinda dig it

----------

also I am mostly done with location based names.. for now