#my other ongoing fic Stockholm also suffers from 'the thought police are going to Get Me' bc like. dub-con whoops!

[ranger-kellyn]

i've probably said it in the past, but one of the things i'm weirdly looking forward to with my writing going forward is knowing that i will not be posting a new story until it is 100% complete.

one of the things my fic Second Chances is suffering from is there's a bunch of things i've thought of now that i would have loved to explore further. i wish i would have explored cynthia's side of things more. i wish i would have dug into more of her internal turmoil of "my mom died when i was young, my sister ended up being a teenage mother because our grandmother was hellbent on punishing her instead of helping her, i have no idea of who i really even AM, i put all my energy and focus into college, and my girlfriend who is this burgeoning actress, and oops girlfriend left me without a reason and i'm close to graduating and now i really don't know who i am, and oh my fucking god now grandmother is dying and i have no closure on her AND ex-girlfriend clearly left me for some famous rich man and i'm Spiraling" and UGH there's so much more i know i could have done better.

Getaway Car is suffering massively from "the thought police online are going to Get Me because there's some dubious morals in this story--like diantha DID basically cheat on Mel, too by all technicalities". also. cynthia was absolutely supposed to have a bit of an 'odd' relationship with her manager in the sense of 'we have this weird homo-erotic relationship with one another that neither of us are willing to really acknowledge. like we spend way too much time outside of work together and talk to one another in ways a manager-client relationship isn't supposed to' and then it would all blow up in her face and force cynthia to realize what was happening once she and diantha were official--but i got Too Scared and cut out most of it and UGH there's also a bunch of little things i wish i could change/fix

and ALL of that could have been avoided if i had just....made the first draft, gone through an editing process, and decided from there what needed what.