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raleighcarrera · 5 years ago

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make way

open heart | bryce lahela x mc (casey valentine)

the prompt said: ‘bryce tells mc that he loves her while she's falling asleep and the next morning she just assumes it was a dream bc she was just so tired’

also for @choicesseptemberchallenge20 day 1 which worked out nicely (tired)

tags: @choicesarehard ; @zigtheeortega ; @omgjasminesimone ; @beccadavenport ; @pixeljazzy 💕

~2.3k words | T

she’s coming off of thirty-six hours straight at the hospital when it happens.

it’s been an exceedingly long week. balancing her work on the diagnostics team along with her regular responsibilities and managing her intern would be difficult enough without the added wrench of a bus crash thrown into her day, but, of course, that’s the way life at edenbrook goes: every day has its own new bus crash, in one way or another.

regardless, there’s new injured patients to treat and old ones to check up on and high-profile cases to worry about in the interim, so she can use her strategy to save the hospital and then rub dr. ramsey’s self-righteous nose in her success (in that order).

there’s a lot going on, and not much time to sleep. there’s brief breaks, here and there -- just enough for a quick nap in the on-call rooms -- but then it’s right back to work.

and before she knows it, it’s been thirty-six hours and bryce is forcibly dragging her onto the t in her scrubs, and she’s falling asleep with her head on his shoulder and almost definitely drooling onto his jacket.

because he’s bryce, and he’s perfect, he doesn’t say anything about that. he only runs his fingers through her hair and takes her home to his blessedly quiet, roommate-less apartment, where the pizza delivery’s been timed so perfectly that the driver is actually coming up in the elevator at the same time they are.

casey’s so grateful she could cry. instead, she waits until her mouth is half-full with her third slice to look over at her boyfriend with wide, appreciative eyes and groan, “god, you’re wonderful.”

bryce laughs at her. “please. i’m just glad i found you before you actually collapsed in ramsey’s office.”

she nods, finally chewing and swallowing the bite she’d paused to sing his praises. “i am going to sleep -- all day tomorrow.” her head is throbbing. it’s a massive effort just to remember what day it is, but there’s one thing sticking out to her, a fuzzy memory from when they’d compared schedules last weekend. “wait. you have to work?”

he sighs, dusting off his hands. “yeah.” bryce pulls a face as if to imply that it’s the single worst thing that’s ever happened to him. “sorry, babe. wish i could kick it here with you.”

“it’s okay.” a wide yawn stretches her mouth open. “you don’t mind if i stay here?”

“nah.” bryce’s smile is easygoing and a little excited. “stay as long as you want. knowing you’re here will make my day go by faster.”

maybe, she thinks deliriously, her limbs feeling even heavier now that she’s eaten than they had on their commute home, she can do something nice for him tomorrow. make dinner, or something -- after she’s slept.

casey blinks, realizing all at once that she’s completely zoned out again. “what? sorry. i’m just --”

“i know.” there’s a fondness in his voice and a softness in his eyes when he stands and pulls her to her feet, tugging her in so she can lean against him. she does so immediately, burrowing into the warmth of his chest. “come on. let’s get you to bed.”

she isn’t sure exactly how it happens, but when she yawns at him next, it’s from the lush safety of his mattress and the blankets on his bed; casey cuddles into the pillows and blinks sleepily up at him, waiting for bryce to join her. the only thing in the world that could make going to sleep now, at eight o’clock with a day off ahead of her, is having her boyfriend’s body heat beside her to soak up.

but bryce laughs at her again, shaking his head. “i gotta put the food away. i’ll be in in a minute.”

“fine,” casey mumbles. the word breaks with another yawn halfway through. her eyelids are already fluttering. “just -- hurry up.”

“of course.” she feels the brush of his lips against her forehead, and then her mouth, bryce’s kiss so gentle it’s almost not there. his fingers slip through her hair again.

the sound she makes is somewhere between a delighted groan and a sigh of pure content. she isn’t sure she’s ever been so comfortable in her life; bryce’s bed is warm and cozy and the sheets are clean -- they smell like him, and so does the shirt she’s wearing. her whole body is heavy with exhaustion and the satisfaction of the work she’s done. she feels cared for. she’s happy.

just before everything goes dark, somewhere, in the space she’s floating in between sleep and wakefulness, she hears bryce’s voice -- one last hesitant murmur of her name. it’s only on the very edge of her conscious, but she’s positive the words he says are, “i love you, casey.”

the apartment is predictably silent when she wakes up.

there’s nothing like the peacefulness that comes from waking up in an empty apartment. with so many roommates, it isn’t something that casey’s accustomed to, and she relishes it now, soaking up the stillness of bryce’s bedroom joyfully.

there’s birds chirping outside. she turns her face into the pillows and breathes in slowly, burrowing a little further into the sheets.

there’s nothing on the horizon, for today -- no work, no chores, no responsibilities. it’s the perfect way to start her day, if only her boyfriend was in bed beside her.

speaking of. casey reaches her hand out, fumbling blindly on the nightstand until it closes around her cellphone. she finally blinks her eyes open when she pulls the device under the sheets with her, balking at the time displayed on the home screen.

it’s past two-thirty in the afternoon.

she blinks, knuckling sleep out of her eyes. she really had been exhausted.

there’s a slew of text messages waiting for her, mostly from her roommates. the group chat is abuzz with wondering where she is and if she’s alive; casey holds off on answering them in favor of navigating to her thread with bryce, where he’s texted good morning beautiful and text me when you wake up. getting out of bed this morning was impossible with you in it

her teeth bite at her bottom lip to stifle the smile that’s threatening. eight months of being official with bryce and it still never gets old, to be on the receiving end of those cheesy, over-the-top compliments. no boyfriend of hers before him had ever sent a good morning text message.

hiiiiiiiiii she writes back, spreading out in his bed, just woke up. hope today’s going well for you. can’t wait to get you back in this bed with me

his reply is almost immediate. fuck you, it says, making her grin up at the ceiling, i’m about to go into surgery. you’re evil

casey settles for an onslaught of heart emojis, as she rolls out of said bed and heads for the kitchen. as expected, there’s no food in bryce’s fridge, but there is coffee, and she takes her time enjoying it and flipping through the channels on bryce’s tv -- they don’t have cable, at her place -- before finally making her way into the shower.

she’s in the middle of shampooing her hair when she remembers what happened last night. it comes back to her abruptly, the memory too vivid to be true. bryce’s lips, brushing against hers -- his hands pulling the comforter up to her shoulders -- and then...

i love you, casey.

she frowns, tipping her head back under the water to rinse her hair.

that has to have been a dream, right?

she’d remember it, if it were real. she’d’ve said something to him, last night, or... today. he’d’ve said something about it.

right?

casey marinates on it for the entirety of her shower, waffling back and forth. it both feels like a dream and not, making it difficult to ascertain what really happened. she was exhausted last night -- she barely remembers leaving the hospital, after all. but if bryce had really said... for the first time...

she’d have to remember that, wouldn’t she?

she thinks about it when she gets dressed and heads to the store to find something passable she can make for dinner (though it’s definitely going to be pasta, again). last night was a blur; her memory of everything that happened after bryce found her in the on-call room is in bits and pieces. there’s only the vague outline of their evening flashing in her mind: sleeping on him on the t, eating pizza shoulder-to-shoulder on the couch, stumbling into his bedroom and falling into bed...

and then the same bit she can’t stop thinking about, as clear as day -- his kiss, and the soft, hesitant sound of his voice when he’d said those three words and that reverent utterance of her name.

it plays in her head on a loop in the check-out line. it has to have been a dream, that’s the only explanation for it.

he wouldn’t -- they don’t -- because he’s not...

...except that he might be.

he might be, because she’s pretty sure that she is, and -- if he felt the same way, that would be... life-changing. exceptional. pretty much the greatest thing to ever happen to her, outside of her professional accomplishments.

because bryce is pretty much the greatest thing to ever happen to her. he is everything she’s ever wanted and didn’t know she was looking for -- completely different from her usual ‘type’ in the best way. bryce is smart and thoughtful and funny and witty and devastatingly sexy -- complex and considerate and an amazing listener and a world-class shoulder massager...

someone so easy to fall in love with she hadn’t even realized it was happening until it was too late.

so her stupid, useless brain had probably imagined that he’d said it first to give her something pleasant to dream about. casey glares bitterly at the tomatoes she’s blistering when the realization washes over her.

and that’s how bryce finds her: in the kitchen, stirring spaghetti in sweats she stole out of his closet, her long hair still drying where it’s damp on her shoulders. he’s loud when he crowds in behind her at the stove, talking a mile a minute about his day, how good it smells in the apartment and how much he missed her, all at once.

he buries his face in the crook of her neck and inhales, pressing his lips lightly against the side of her throat. “you sleep okay?”

casey relaxes despite herself and her annoyance, melting a little against his chest. she nods. “yeah. thanks for taking care of me last night.”

bryce’s hands are warm when they slip under the hem of her (his) hoodie. his hands fan out over her hips. “of course,” he murmurs, nuzzling his nose at the base of her neck, “anything for you, babe.”

maybe he had said it.

she thinks about it some more as she spoons pasta into two plates and they tumble back onto the couch together. the words bounce around in her brain while he slurps spaghetti beside her, interspersed with more compliments: how good dinner is, how thoughtful she is, how multi-talented she manages to be.

well, there’s only one way to find out.

casey lets him clear the plates away and load the dishwasher because she cooked, and it’s only fair, and waits until he’s back on the couch with her with that inviting space at his side wide open.

then, she slips into it, wrapping her arms around his waist and leaning against him. bryce’s arm curls around her shoulders in turn, and his lips press a delicate kiss to the top of her head.

“i love you,” casey sighs. the words leave her lips so easily she’s hardly able to believe that there was once a point in time where she felt nervous to be the first to say so.

it’s true, after all. she’s not sure if she’s ever been in love, before -- she thought she had, but it wasn’t like this (nothing could ever be like this) -- but she’s positive about bryce. with her life constantly in flux, filled with so much chaos, being with bryce is the one thing she feels like she’s actually gotten right.

his hand stills from where he’d been rubbing her shoulder, hesitating for just a moment. then, he says, “i love you, too.”

casey turns her cheek to look up at him, her eyes wide. “really?”

the laugh he gives is low and fond, sending a thrill of happiness straight down her spine and to her toes. “how could i not?”

“so... you did say that last night. i thought it was a dream.” the swarm of butterflies in her stomach beat their wings harder at the very idea.

bryce makes a noncommittal hum into her hair. “i wasn’t sure if you heard me. i meant it, though. i love you, case.”

casey opens her mouth to crack a joke, but her throat feels suspiciously tight. how emotional she is catches her completely off guard, surprising her silent.

so -- she’s loved. by probably the most perfect man on the east coast, if not in the entire united states of america. or the world.

weird. part of her had thought something like this might never happen for her.

“i...” she trails off, shaking her head. it’s overwhelming, just how happy she is. her arms press bryce a little closer, pulling him to her a little tighter. “um, thank you.”

he laughs again, sounding taken aback. “for what?”

“for loving me,” casey answers, as though it should be obvious.

she can feel bryce’s shrug against her side; the movement jostles her against him, a little -- but then he squeezes her back, crushing her into the broad planes of his chest.

“it’s easy,” he promises, and though he’s the first person to ever say so, she believes him.

#open heart #bryce lahela #casey valentine #bryce lahela x mc #bryce lahela x casey valentine #bryce x casey #bryce x mc #myfic #long post #ty again for sending this request anon i loved it a lot 💕💕 hope you like the fic !!#choicesseptemberchallenge #choicesseptemberchallenge20

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monster-bait · 5 years ago

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I’m an exophilia writer like you, and I like writing intimacy in my work. But sometimes, I feel internally weird/embarrassed/ashamed about writing sex. If you’ve ever felt this way, how’d you get over it/how do you cope with that feeling? I just want to enjoy writing sexy stuff without feeling weird about it. Any tips would be appreciated. Love love love your blog.

Aaaa, Hello, fellow writer! Thank you so much for the kind words!

Okay, so first off...I have been writing for a very long time. Like anything, writing a sex scene is something you have to learn, a skill to develop, and no skill develops overnight. So, if you’re relatively new to writing sex scenes (relativity is relative) then cut yourself some slack. I look back on some of my early smutty scenes and nearly die of cringe. Hell, I look back on smut scenes I wrote last year and want to die of cringe. Our skills are ever-evolving, and the more you do it, the easier it gets.

I’m going to break this answer into two parts: smut-specific and writing intimate scenes in general. Also: what is sexy is subjective. I was asked a very similar question about a year or two ago by a young writer who didn’t have much experience writing intimate scenes, but had one planned for her story. Another writer jumped into the conversation, at which point I bowed out, because she and I had polar-opposite styles and were giving conflicting advice. It played out like this:

Asker: I’m brand new at smut and don’t know where to start, teehee!

Me: be sure to include sensory details and show what you’re comfortable showing!

Other writer: be sure to vividly describe character A’s testicles slapping character B in the face!

😐

Writers giving advice: for the love of Mab, please consider your audience.

Smutty smutness: No, I don’t get embarrassed when I’m writing these scenes. No, I don’t get turned on when I’m writing them, I don’t feel the need to go to church and confess my smutty sins, I don’t need to book quality one-on-one time with myself and a vibrating partner immediately after finishing said scene. Writing, for me, is technical. Writing sex is old hat. Again, I’ve been doing this for a long time. The more you work at it, the easier it gets/those feelings will fade. If you put more of the focus on the craft of writing itself, the subject matter becomes negligible.

But! Within saying that, I think there are some things you can do:

Use language with which you’re comfortable

I will tell you guys right now, there are certain words you will never find in my writing. I don’t find them sexy, and if I don’t find them sexy, I’m not going to use them. I don’t care what other writers do, I don’t care if readers think that’s limiting. Dick sounds like something a 14 year old boy would say. You know what’s not sexy? 14 year old boys. Pussy to my ears is a word for male gaze-driven porn, and has no place in my writing. Cunt has its place when applied well, but if its the only word you know how to use, I’m probably going to stop reading. If you’re describing your female character’s genitalia as a greedy, dripping gash, I can promise you I’m going to stop reading. And that’s fine, because it wasn’t written for me. Don’t use language you’re uncomfortable using. I know that seems small, but it can make a huge difference, and adopting a mindset of staying within the parameters of your comfort and control might lessen the subconscious need to “sound” smutty, if you know what I mean. There is no right way to write, and that includes sex scenes.

By that same token:

Show as much as you’re comfortable showing

There’s nothing wrong with a fade to black. There’s nothing wrong with soft-focus sex. There’s nothing wrong with graphic details either, and you’ve got to figure which of the three (or which combination) works best for you. Think about the difference in the M and E rating on Ao3 for a guide, if that helps. (someone in the audience, find that great post about mailing a letter, pls!) Decide the tone of your scene: Do you want to focus on sensuality or the details of the actions? This is the difference between slowly peeling that quivering-with-anticipation little stamp out of her papery underthings and affixing her gently to the front of the envelope’s broad front; and licking that stamp for all she’s worth, your tongue moving in a frenzy against her stickiness and you can’t tell where your mouth ends and her sticky back begins, the drool from your oral onslaught activating her adhesiveness until she’s stiffened against the envelope, flat on her back and spent, the act complete.

(seriously, someone find that post, it does a much better job than I just did!)

Above all, stay true to your characters, and remember that your writing skills don’t get to take a smoke break just because you’re writing a sex scene...which leads to my secondary set of advice:

(I by no means consider myself an expert in this arena, but here are some things I like to focus on when writing an intimate scene)

Sensory details: sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell

A good sex scene needs to be more than “insert tab A into slot B”. Give us a sense of the space, put us into our character’s head. The sensory details you add can paint a very specific picture for your reader, so that one sex scene doesn’t blend into the next. In Girl’s Weekend, I tried to give the sex scenes between Tate & Silva a very distinct feel through the sensory details Silva experiences: she feels small beneath the high ceilings, the bedding in his apartment is always plush beneath her, the lighting is always dim, his hair is silky in her hands, his lips are always sweet. And you know, they’re fucking. But that’s not the only detail I’m focusing on, because that’s not giving insight into her state of mind, and also: it’s boring. Set a scene, tell us where your characters are, what they’re experiencing, if that vase of roses can be smelled from where they are, how the moon cuts through the window to bathe the bed in shadows.

State of mind

You don’t need to exclusively write about genitals mashing together. There was an essay I read million years ago (about the writer’s relationship with her boyfriend and his watersports kink, of all things) that was ostensibly about sex, but the focus was on her state of mind for nearly the entire piece. There’s a scene towards the end when she’s describing the last time they had sex, objectively the best, most satisfying sex they’d ever had, descriptive and hot, the female MC is riding her boyfriend, she’s in absolute ecstasy...but she already feels emotionally disengaged from him and the relationship, and the line I still remember almost two decades I after I read the essay for the first time is “And as I’m loving you, I’m leaving you.” You can still pack an emotional wallop in the midst of a sex scene without needing to stop the action and make your characters have a Serious Conversation™. Show us into their heads! Which leads me to...

Don’t forget about character voice!

If you guys are ever worried that I’ve been body-snatched, just know that if I ever respond to one of these asks and don’t mention character voice, you know it’s not me. Just because you’re describing the hot and heavy stuff doesn’t mean you shut the proverbial bedroom door on your character’s unique voices and personalities. If your character would never engage in dirty talk, don’t force it on them. Tate and Silva have the capacity to be f i l t h y with each other; Khash does to a point, but Lurielle would die laughing of embarrassment. Know your characters!

If you keep the focus on the characters, their voices and actions and thoughts, the fact that someone’s getting their face ridden is going to be a heck of a lot less embarrassing, because you’ve to focus on the writing.

I hope that helps, Anony!

Team, going forward all of your anonymous writing advice asks are going to be fair game to be included in the “For Writers” sections of my (still under construction) website which you should absolutely go visit! ...and sign up for email updates on my publication news, and click some of the other social social media bubbles while you’re there!

#monsterbait answers #writing advice #writing #writing woes #Anonymous

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be-ready-when-i-say-go · 5 years ago

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omg maybe she writes a song for cal before he leaves to go home? she produces it w her team and it’s more of a gift and she brings him in the studio to surprise him? but maybe she releases it and fans know it’s about cal but the two won’t admit it

Thanks for the suggestion! I combined it with @wonderlandiswhereitsatyo suggestions:

Maybe they're facetiming snd one of them is cooking. They got too into the conversation and then the other is like "there's smoke behind you" and a tiny sexy surprise video chat.

I hope you enjoy!

Here’s the masterlist for the Distance series.

Here’s my main masterlist!

If you have any suggestions for this series, please feel free to send them to me. I will do my best to use as many as possible while also progressing the story along!

There is 18+ Content (Smut). Please read with caution.

______________________________

Calum whines when the bed dips, her body rising and his arm falling into empty sheets. His nose misses being pressed into her shoulder and inhaling her scent. “Five more minutes,” he grumbles.

“You’re the one that booked the red-eye flight.” Her voice is hoarse in his ears and he finally blinks up at her. Now, as he pushes up, he hears her alarm going off. His blaring along with it. How he missed the two of them going off, he’s not sure. He reaches for his phone, cutting it off and runs a hair over the cropped sides. A yawn pulls at his jaw and a slight moan falls over his throat.

He hates leaving. As he sits in her bed, wrapped in her golden sheets, that somehow feel softer than his own sheets, he thinks about moving. If he lived here, or she lived in LA, things would be different. He wouldn’t think twice about this, wouldn’t think twice about what was happening between them. But every time he leaves, or she leaves, he is sourly reminded that this won’t be like his other relationships. This won’t be easy to ask her to spend the night, or to wake up early for dog walks, or going to get coffee. They’ll always have time zones and screens between at some point.

He watches her, pulling open her closet door bottom half still bare besides her underwear. It feels so right just to hold her close. Without thinking too long about it, he pushes up from the bed and stands behind her. His arms encasing her waist and he buries his nose into her shoulder again. His lips leave butterfly kisses. “Leaving you always sucks,” he mutters.

She finally settles on a sweatshirt and pulls the hanger down before hooking onto the knob on the inside of the door. Her nails scratch along his skin and it’s not even that cold in her house, but a shiver racks through his body. His bare chest pressed into her back. There are no platitudes, no words of reassurance that she can give him. Because it does suck. A lot. Though her leaving him sucked they hadn’t let those words fall. She turns his grasp, hands coming up around his cheek. “It does suck,” she agrees, pecking his lips. “I wish I could make it suck less.”

“Move to L.A. or somewhere closer,” Calum suggests, lips brushing against her as he talks. Their foreheads rest against each other.

“My whole team is here and--,”

“I know, a last ditch effort,” he sighs, kissing her again. “Thought maybe in your half asleep state I could get you to slip up.”

Her body falls, shoulders rounding in and her hands fall. She tucks herself into his chest, fingers brushing along the tattoos along his collar bones. “I’d have to live in the mountains somewhere. I don’t do well with too many people.”

His laughter rumbles into her ears and Calum squeezes at her frame. “I’ll keep an eye out for anything.”

The sun is just barely rising behind the horizon when she pulls out of the parking lot of her complex. The windows are cracked a little, a breeze blows in, whistling around the otherwise silent car. Traffic isn’t bad on a Sunday morning this early. And the trees and hills roll by as they continue on the roads. It’s almost too scenic. He could see himself out here. Though she lives in a pretty quiet area, he figures it would be nice to always have a quiet place to retreat too. There wouldn’t be the blaring sounds and lights of the city constantly knocking at his door.

When she pulls into the airport, Calum stretches across the middle console. He covers her cheeks in kisses, some more dramatic than others. She scrunches up on herself, attempting to cower away from the onslaught. Her giggle bounces around in Calum’s head. He can’t get enough. There will never be enough, it feels. But eventually, he has to pull away. He does have a flight to catch. “I’ll let you know when my flight lands.”

“And when you get home too?”

Calum nods. “Of course.” He climbs out of the vehicle, opening her backdoor to grab his duffle bag. She stretches around the seat. A black flash drive rests in her palm. “What’s this?”

“A gift. Don’t lose it now.”

“I would never.”

“You can only listen once you’re on the plane though.”

“Listen?” She nods at Calum’s question. “You’re cruel.” He nods though to her stipulations.

“Oh, but you love it,” she grins.

Slipping the flash drive into his pocket of the sweatshirt, he slings the duffle bag up onto his shoulder. He shuffles around, leaning in through the driver side window. And he just gazes, trying to remember the way her eyes sparkle in the rising sun and he can no longer see the lines on her face from how hard she slept. Her hands are soft as she drags her fingers over his and even plays at his rings. Something in the way the sunlight comes in from the windshield catches on her eyelashes makes his heart nearly stop.

He tips her chin, kissing down her nose and then to her lips. “I’m pretty sure you’re going to be the death of me,” he whispers. And there’s so much honestly in the statement that it feels like weight off his chest.

“But I won’t be the reason why you’re late for your flight,” she laughs, kissing him one last time. “Now, go!”

Calum laughs. “Okay, okay, okay.” He pushes away from the car, turns on his heel and then turns back around to the car. “Just one more kiss?” It’s with a laugh that their lips meet for one last brief kiss. Calum jogs to the front doors and to security.

As the plane ascends, Calum runs this thumb over the flash drive. There’s the safety spill and he watches for the seatbelt light to go out. When they finally reach their cruising altitude, he pulls out his laptop. He almost forgot it was in his bags. Between being with her in the studio in the day and their drives at night, he hadn’t gotten much of his own work done. Now though, maybe he could get something done. Just a few emails read over.

He slips the drive into the port, watching it pop up on his desktop. It’s only with a few clicks that he opens it, finds the folder. For you, Calum, enjoy. Slipping the headphones on, he opens it and there’s an mp3. His heart races and his finger shakes, but he watches the song load. At first, it’s a throaty creak of the piano and soon her voice follows with a soft and breathy first line, Brown irises and black tattoos. His heart skips a beat, maybe two or even three, but he lets his eyes close and listens to her singing to him, about him, about the way her heart flutters too.

_____________________

“I’m gonna puke,” she groans. “God, what if no one likes it? What if I’m just like a one-hit wonder?” Calum pauses at his stir fry for just a moment. In three minutes, her debut album will be released. She was out with her team but her nerves were just too much. So she ducked out early, messaging Calum throughout the entire ride back up and now, she’s here. On her couch. With only two shots in her. Her dog besides her and Calum, even though it’s a screen. The eternity of the last 20 minutes have been rushing to the bathroom to stress pee early every three minutes and hovering over her trash can with nerves.

“Lay back,” he directs, motioning to her couch just behind her. “Just lay back, close your eyes, okay?” She nods, moving so that her laptop is a little closer to her ear. “Comfy?” Calum asks. He leans onto his forearms, against the countertop, in front of his own computer.

“Yeah, comfy.”

“Good. Now inhale for three seconds and exhale for five.” Calum can see the inhale and exhale, the rise and fall of her chest. For a fleeting moment, he wishes he could rest his head there, right in the space between her breasts and help her breathe through the nerves. “Again for me.” She inhales and exhales again. “One more time. This time in for four seconds, out for six.” Her breathing crackles in through the speakers. “Everything’s gonna be fine. I promise.”

The rumble of his voice sends a shiver down her spine. She misses being curled up in his chest in her bed. They laughed about nothing, about everything, it seemed. A stupid voice, a meme that sent them both into a fit of giggles. It didn’t matter because Calum was right there with her. He was laughing along with her. “People are gonna hear your angelic voice and they are to fall in love and you’re gonna be a superstar.”

She presses her thighs together, attempting to quell heat that starts in her lower gut. Now is not the time, she figures. “I guess.” It comes out breathy. It’s going to give her away. But there’s not much now to cover it up.

“I know that tone,” Calum teases. He takes just a second to tend to his food, so nothing burns. But he turns back to her quickly. His gut quivers just a little too. They got hot a few times at her place, hands wandering under shirts, mouths peppering skin with kisses that got lower and lower. But they always pulled back. Calum wasn’t sure if having sex with her would be the right move. Would it make things insanely more complicated than they already were? What if this didn’t work out as a relationship?

“No, you don’t know anything!” she laughs.

“Yes I do!” She’s still laying on her back, but her thighs brush over the other, as if that will ease whatever ache has developed. “Clearly you like something. I’m just here to help. Let me help,” he adds the last sentence in a slightly lower tone.

She whines, not sure if she should give into temptation right now. Glancing at the clock, it’s past midnight. “It’s out,” she whispers. “My album is out, holy shit.” When she glances back to the screen, she giggles. “Cal, you might have to order out.”

When he spins around, there’s a little bit of smoke and he swears, turning up the overhead vent. It’s salvageable, for sure. But definitely not his smoothest moment ever. With the smoke finally cleared and the rice scrapped, Calum drops his head to his forearms. “It’s because of you,” he teases. It’s because he wants to see her unravel. He wants to hear her cry out for him. God, he wants it so badly, his toes are curling in his socks. He knows for now he can’t really stand all the way, it’ll give everything away.

“Cal, you really should get something to eat, baby.”

His head snaps up. “What did you call me?”

“You can call me baby and buttercup, but I can’t use it.”

“No, no, no,” he rushes out. “You can. I just.” He swallows thickly. “I like it.”

With a tiny smirk, she laughs. “I would bet money you’re hard right now.”

“You wouldn’t have to bet a lot,” he laughs, hoping now isn’t too obvious if he reaches down to adjust himself. It probably will be. But he really can’t be standing like this in the middle of his kitchen.

“I should probably let you eat. Thanks, Calum.”

“Hey, whoa, why are you in such a rush to get rid of me now?” She doesn’t say anything, a not entirely unusual quietness overtaking her. But he can tell something is definitely off. Trashing the not fully burnt food, Calum dumps the dishes into the sink, hollering to his roommate that he’ll clean it up in a few minutes. His shuffle to his room doesn’t take long. She can hear the click of Duke’s paws traveling behind him too.

“What’s wrong? Talk to me.” Calum’s closes the door softly behind him.

“Nothing’s wrong.” There’s a pause as she sees her phone blinking with text messages pouring in. “We’ve just--we’ve never gone that far. And I never wanted to push you if you didn’t want to go that far.”

Calum collapses into the mattress, laptop sliding onto the bed next to him. “It’s not that I don’t want to. I just don’t want to make this more complicated.” He sits up, bringing the computer back to his lap. “I don’t wanna fuck this up with you. Normally, it’s not this hard to weigh sex. But the long distance makes things different? Not necessarily difficult, but different. Sex is like part of the package, but what does that look like for us and like is there an us? I feel like there is.”

“There is an us,” she agrees. “Definitely an us.”

“I like the sound of that.” His grin splits his cheeks and he really thinks he shouldn’t this giddy. But fuck, his body does feel electric. “I really like the sound of that.”

She laughs, her own picture shaking just a little and soon, she’s barely illuminated by the brightness of her screen. It takes a moment and then the bedside lamp flicks on. “Are you familiar with JOI?” She watches as his brows furrow for a second, pondering the question.

“Not that I know of?”

“Jerk off instructions.”

“Oh, I’m familiar with that.” It falls off his lips a little too eagerly, with a little too much of his own breath escaping him. A knock at Calum’s door sends his heart racing and through the door, his roommate shouts about ordering a pizza, to which Calum agrees to send him the money back. “Takes half an hour, minimum,” Calum tells her, wearing a much too wide grin. “It’s not too late for you, right? If it is, there’s always another time.”

Even though tomorrow she knows she has work to do, she shakes her head. “It’s not too late. And you’re wearing one too many sweatshirts, and if there’s a shirt under that, that should go too.”

Without hesitation, Calum pulls the sweatshirt and tank up and over his head. It rouses his hair and he straights it back out before he directs her to trace around her nipple. Under the shirt. It’s more than obvious that she’s wearing no bra either. “I know you like love bites, and I really wish I could decorate your chest in them right now,” she breathes. “But I just want you to sit back. Just for a second. Close your eyes. Envision my hands and nails racking down her chest.”

Calum falls into his pillows, allowing her voice to float over him and sink into his brain. “You’re not wearing a shirt though, in this version.” Her laughter is soft and he cracks just one eye to see her tossing the pink camisole somewhere behind the camera. “Fuck,” he sighs at the sight of her erect nipples.

“Your eyes are not closed, mister.”

“Squeeze them for me, please. And then I will.” She complies, leaning in a hair closer to the camera too and Calum groans, but drops his head into the stacked pillows. “You’re a tease,” he says.

“Oh, don’t say that,” she laughs. “You’ll only make this worse for yourself.”

It doesn’t take long for them to instruct each other to remove pants and then underwear. Both with hands dragging over their bodies, desperately wishing it was actually the other. Her sighs feed into his ears and crawl down into his chest. He echoes with his own, watching her fingers dance around her sex. Her hips rise and it’s obvious she’s trying hard to follow his instruction, trying not to touch herself.

He’s on minute four of a five minute time out, for calling her a tease one too many times and is forced to sit on his hands and just watch her. And his cock is practically a leaky faucet at this point. In the end, it’ll be worth it. But right now, he just wants to give in. He’s not sure how much longer he can hold out. If he’ll make it the full five minutes. “Do you like them sloppy? Blow jobs, I mean?”

His head is so foggy, watching just how much she appears to be dripping onto her towel. She grabbed one just in case and the mere thought of her gushing as Calum’s head all sorts of twisted. “Uh,” he starts, working his jaw again. It hurts from how hard he’s clenching it. “I guess so. There’s, fuck,” he groans watching her hips raise again, wishing his tongue was buried inside of her. “Please tell me five minutes is up.”

“You haven’t-haven’t answered my question.”

He drops his head again, eyes fluttering close. He’s going to lose all feeling his hands at this point. “To an extent, yeah. It’s hot when they’re really into it.”

She’s seeing stars, and she hasn’t properly touched herself but once. She lost that privilege for five minutes as well when she joked that her toys had gotten her off faster. But she won’t lie. She likes the back and forth, the small punishments. Though she thinks, it might be torturing Calum more than it is her. She makes a mental note and then sighs. “You’ve been really good. I wonder if you’ll have that much restraint in person.”

Calum doesn’t fall far it. He watches, to see how far she’ll go, if she’ll actually touch herself without his permission. But she doesn’t either. “I know what you’re doing,” he laughs.

“Because you’re doing it too.” His cock jumps just a little, his stomach tensing and untensing. He looks like he’s about to explode. “Do you like plugs? A little backdoor play?”

“You’re dancing real close to a fire there,” he warns, the tips of her fingers are hovering over her clit. “I didn’t say you could.”

“Damn you,” she growls, moving her hands back to her tits, kneading and pulling at them. Is he waiting for her to break first? Is she going to break? She needs something, anything and if she’s this close to cracking she knows Calum’s even worse.

“Just the head, really work your precum over it.”

The groan that leaves Calum’s chest is long, and louder than he really wanted it to be. But god it feels so good to touch himself. At the moment, as he works just the tip, he doesn’t worry about having to explain anything to anyone. “Play with your clit. Ah, fuck. Circles, okay?”

She hums, body reeling at the new found sensation. “Fuck,” she cries out. “I like it when you squeeze my ass. And if you were here right now, god, I don’t think I’d get off.” She pants for just a second, before she lets Calum fully stroke himself.

“So you on top, huh?”

“What? Don’t like the woman taking charge?”

“Never, no. I love it. You taking what you need from me. God, I think my heart would stop, watching you. Tits bouncing.”

She clenches and it aches that it’s around nothing. Calum would be such a delicious stretch. He’d fill her in ways she probably didn’t know existed. He’d be so firm beneath her palms. Chest solid and warm as she braced herself. God, why hadn’t do made a more serious move when he was here with her? When this could all be a reality and not through a screen. The twinge of regret doesn’t last long when her lower gut continues to tighten. She can feel the small prickles of sweat on her forehead starting to run down her skin. “Oh, fuck. Cal.”

His ears perk up at the growl of his name from her lips. It’s hard, when his eyes blink open to get her in focus. His own body is on the edge, his own pleasure is ramping up to knock him over. But he manages, between the blinks to watch her fall apart. The grunt falling over her lips and the way her teeth clash together just for a moment, the skin around her brows folding for just a moment before they smooth back out and the waves rock her core. No gush. But it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter in the slightest.

He’s not going to last much longer. Not after that beautiful sight and his heels dig into the mattress a little, hips stuttering up into his own palm. And soon the streams are spilling over his hand and up onto his stomach and chest. His vision is a little spotty just for a second as he tries to catch his breath. He doesn’t even have half a mind to know if he made too much noise or not. That is until she giggles. “Did you cum or start benching presses over there? Either way, very hot.”

“I don’t know if I should be embarrassed or not.” He’s thankful that he kept the box of tissues next to his bed from his sneezing fit the other day. Though he didn’t usually suffer from any sort of allergy something got to him yesterday at some point.

There’s a shuffle to clean themselves up and Calum waits, finished first, until she comes back to the screen. It’s clear to see she’s tired. She slide between her sheets, not bothering with clothes again and her head immediately falls into the pillows. “Don’t forget the light, buttercup, he warns softly. She grumbles but turns it off. “Sweet dreams,” he continues. “I’m gonna stream your album on repeat when it releases for me here. You’re gonna wake up to a bunch of positive reactions. And maybe 85% of them are from me, but that’s besides the point.”

Her laughter is soft, partially muffled by her pillow. “Thanks, Calum.”

“Anytime, buttercup. Anytime.” Their call ends and Calum leaves his computer on the bed. He pads into the kitchen and notices a box of pizza still out and the dishes done. And his phone is still on the kitchen counter.

“The pizza came like twenty minutes ago. But that wasn’t something I wanted to interrupt,” his roommate laughs, walking back towards the bedrooms. “You’ve got kitchen duty for the next two weeks.”

“That’s fair. Thanks!” As he settles down at the table with the first three slices warmed, he scrolls through his phone. A message buzzes in and he just catches the preview before it disappears.

I know I should be asleep right now. But I got caught up looking at reactions. It’s a screenshot of some tweets. A string of emojis and keyboard smashes comprise most of them. A couple fans of sniffed out which song is about Calum, but overwhelming the reactions are positive.

I told you so.

Oh wipe that smirk off your face, I know it’s there! Calum can only laugh in response.

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exhaustedfander · 5 years ago

Text

When is Enough Enough? [Chapter Six]

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / Epilog

a03 link to story

“Dragonfly?” Remus asked hoarsely. Quickly, Logan scrambled to Remus’s bedside and knelt beside him. Looking at his boyfriend, Logan was stricken with grief.

Remus’s completion was ghostly pale. Without his usual vibrant purple eye-makeup, Logan could see the dark bluish circles that rimmed his eyes, looking as though Remus hadn’t slept in a week. His hair was ruffled and slightly stiff with sweat and he looked so terribly small in his hospital gown, lying back against the pillows. Remus had always been such an animated, larger than life personality. He moved through the world as though he owned it, with reckless abandon and a glint in his eyes that spelled trouble for all he came into contact with.

But now, seeing him lying weakly in a hospital bed, exhausted and disoriented, Logan felt his heart ache.

“It’s me, sweetheart,” Logan said, his voice uncharacteristically soft as he placed a gentle hand to Remus’s cheek, “It’s Logan.” Logan wasn’t sure what kind of reaction he would receive, considering all that had transpired between them before Remus was placed in the hospital. He would understand if Remus curled away from his touch, or if he yelled horrid, vile things at him. He would caste no blame on his boyfriend if he did any of those things, instead taking the brunt of the insults calmly.

That wasn’t what happened, though.

Instead, Remus smiled up at him, the expression tired but buoyant.

“I’m so happy to see you,” he said, leaning into Logan’s touch against his cheek, caressed by a now-trembling hand.

“And I’m happy to see you,” Logan said, unable to hold back the onslaught of tears of relief, feeling one burn its way down his cheek. “I was so – so worried.”

“Mr. Knightly had a very close call her,” the nurse who Logan had barely noticed was in the room pipped up, “But he’s going to be just fine.” “I asked for you when I woke up!” Remus said proudly, turning to face Logan, his voice weak but teaming with animation, “I even described you! I told the doctor that you were beautiful, and a huge nerd, and really smart, fantastic in bed –.” Logan didn’t miss as the nurse’s cheeks flushed slightly at that.

“You’ll have to forgive him,” she said clearing her throat, “Mr. Knightly is on a lot of pain medication currently.” Logan fought back the urge to assure that this wasn’t too far of a step away from Remus’s usual behavior, still so swept up in the fact that he was here with his boyfriend and that he was alive.

“That’s understood,” Logan responded absentmindedly, and the nurse nodded and walked out of the room, passing Roman who loitered in the doorway. As much as Roman wanted to be at Remus’s bedside as well, he wanted to give the couple a bit of space before then.

“I almost died,” Remus said plainly.

The statement was by no means untrue. Logan had been informed of the situation by a doctor beforehand; Remus had been struck by a driver in a crosswalk who had attempted to flee but had been apprehended and was now in police custody. Remus had been delivered to the hospital bleeding profusely with a large gash in his left side that needed to be stapled shut. He had also required a blood transfusion, having lost as much blood as he did, and it had been quite the close call. Remus very well could have died.

“I know,” Logan said, gently taking one of Remus’s hands in his own. When more tears ran down his face Remus frowned, gently reaching out so that the tips of his fingers barely made contact.

“Why’re you crying, LoLo?” Logan shook his head, as though he could in turn shake lose all of the thoughts of all that could have gone wrong. Remus almost never called him LoLo, and that was one nickname that Logan admittedly couldn’t stand. But there was no way he could bring himself to correct Remus now.

“I was terribly afraid for you, Remus. I got the call and-and I rushed here and –.”

“I always wondered what it would be like to be hit by a car,” Remus said interrupting Logan mid-sentence, his voice far-off and distant sounding, “It’s hard to describe…so much pain. So much blood. I remember, laying on the ground and seeing all that red leaking out of me. I was almost positive I was going to die there, lying on the asphalt. I thought about you then. About our fight.”

Ah, so Remus remembered after all. Logan hadn’t been certain, considering how disoriented he was and the way his boyfriend had been behaving. Logan bit his lip, cursing his damned emotions for putting him in such a state, especially considering all that Remus had gone through. In a perfect world, Logan could turn off all of the messy, trifling emotions that made it so difficult to say grounded and simply be there for Remus without being overcome with so many feelings. But he lived in no such perfect world.

“Remus, I am so sorry for everything I’ve put you through. I can’t help but think that everything that’s happened is in many ways my doing,” Logan admitted, the words searing their way up his throat.

“Don’t talk like that, Dragonfly. You didn’t…it wasn’t your fault. I just needed some air and…” Remus didn’t finish. Glancing over his shoulder, Logan noticed Roman awkwardly shuffling in the doorway and he motioned for him to enter the room. Hesitantly, Roman came near to Remus’s beside.

“Dear, your brother is here to see you.” Remus blinked in disbelief, turning to see Roman kneeling on the opposite side of Logan, a clear look of relief etched into his face.

“Roman?” Logan wondered how deeply that stung for his friend, the incredulous sound in Remus’s voice as though he’d never in a million years expected his brother to be at his side in such a vulnerable time.

“I’m here, Remus,” Roman said, a hallow smile having made its way onto his face, “Logan told me what happened. I’m...” he hesitated, tripping over his own tongue. What could he possibly say that could do anything to mend their fractured relationship? How could he express the depth of his relief that his brother was here and alive? “…I’m glad you’re okay.”

It seemed for now, that would have to do.

Remus cocked a lopsided smile in Roman’s direction.

“You are?” Roman bit his lip, looking near a breaking point of some kind, and doing his damn best not to reach it.

“Of course I am. When Logan told me that you’d be injured…well. I was scared, Remus.” Remus’s face scrunched up in clear confusion as he stared intently at his twin.

“But…I thought you hated me?”

Remus was a brash, outspoken man. In almost any instance, Logan was sure that his boyfriend would say anything on his mind, no matter how blatant or in some instances cruel. Despite that…even this seemed somewhere past Remus’s usual limit, and it could most likely be purely blamed on the pain medication.

Greif flashed in Roman’s eyes as he placed a gentle hand on Remus’s shoulder.

“No,” he said gravely, shaking his head, “I don’t hate you, Remus…I never have.”

The admission was strong, something Logan found somewhat miraculous to bear witness to. The twin’s relationship had been in such a bad way for as long as Logan could remember. In all honesty, he’d been almost positive that they’d hated each other, both of them. Roman could be lying, playing things up for his brother’s sake…but Logan didn’t think so. There was genuine, heartbreaking conviction in Roman’s voice.

“Oh,” Remus said simply after a moment of thought, smiling, “That’s nice to know. I guess I don’t hate you either.”

Loopy on pain medication, Remus would never know how much that statement meant to his brother. Roman nodded, squeezing Remus’s shoulder affectionately, ever so gently.

“Logan’s been telling me about you two,” Roman said, eager to change the subject, as Remus was evidently not in the best mind-frame for a serious-talk just yet. Remus jerked rigidly to make eye-contact with Logan, the action clearly causing him some pain as he hissed under his breath.

“Logan? Dragonfly, did – did you…?” Remus couldn’t finish the thought, it all seemed too far-fetched. Logan nodded, giving Roman a glance and smiling.

“Yes, love. Roman knows.” Remus grinned, arching slightly so that he could be closer to Logan before leaning back against the pillows, the simple action too exhausting. Helpfully, Logan leaned close, connecting their lips. Remus smiled into the kiss, desperate for more than the chaste embrace but far too exhausted for anything more passionate.

“You’ve never called me love before,” Remus observed happily, before his brain seemed to fully catch up, “And you told Roman! Roman knows that we’re together and that I love you and that you’re my sexy nerd!”

“Yes,” Roman chuckled, standing up and smiling fondly at the couple. “I know. Logan’s been telling me a lot about you two and I have to say, seeing you together, you’re a lovely couple. Congratulations to you both.” Logan tiled his head.

“Are you leaving so soon?” “I am,” Roman said, not addressing how he felt as though he was encroaching on the couple's space, “But I’ll be back first thing tomorrow. Goodbye, Remus, feel better. I’m happy I got the chance to see you. Bye, Logan.” Having recovered from Roman’s apparent impending departure, Logan simply nodded, waving as his friend began to exit the room. “Ah well, alright. See you tomorrow, then. Have a good rest of your day.” Roman stopped, turning on his heel.

“Logan, it’s Half past 10 o'clock. It’s hardly day-time anymore.” And with that, Roman was gone.

Logan looked out the window in disbelief but sure enough it was dark outside. He supposed he hadn’t noticed the time passing, so caught up in his worries and telling Roman about his romance. When he looked back to Remus, he noticed his eyes starting to droop.

“Don’t you wanna go home too, LoLo? It’s getting late I don’t wanna...” Remus yawned, “keep you up too late. I know how cranky you get.” Logan shook his head, running a hand through Remus’s hair and pressing a kiss to the crown of his head.

“I’d like to stay here with you, if you don’t mind.” Even under the growing weight of his fatigue, Remus managed to pull a surprised expression.

“Oh, I don’t mind! But…where would you sleep? And won’t the nurses kick you out?”

“I asked the nurses if I could sleep in the chair and they said yes.”

“But the chair ’ll be so uncomfortable! You’ll get a crick in your neck, and you’ll be grumpy, and –.”

“I’ll be fine, Remus,” Logan assured, finally beginning to calm down off of all of the adrenaline he’d been exposed to over the course of the day, “I don’t want to leave you if I don’t have to. But if you want me to go, I’ll do so.” Remus seemed unhappy at the thought of Logan leaving him in his hospital room alone, his lips curling into a frown. “No…I don’t want you to leave.” Logan smiled.

“Then I’ll stay right here with you, sweetheart.” A silence fell over them, one that neither seemed to mind. Logan traced circles into Remus’s palm, so thankful to be holding the hand of the man he loved before Remus suddenly spoke up.

“I was drunk.” Logan’s eyebrows knitted in confusion.

“Pardon?”

“When I got hit by the car,” Remus clarified, a guilty look on his face, “I’d gone to a liquor store when I left. I shouldn’t have…I know what drinking does to me. And…and I must’ve been drunk and not paying attention and I got hit a-and it was my fault.”

No one had mentioned that Remus had been under the influence when he had been hit. In truth, Logan had yet to even find out about the man who had struck Remus in the cross-walk, only knowing that he was a low-down person who had planned on performing a hit and run. Even if Remus had been drunk, that driver was responsible for what happened. Logan squeezed his boyfriend’s hand.

“Remus, it’s alright. Everything going to be alright,” Logan said, hoping he sounded believable, “It isn’t your fault. The only fault lies with the person who was driving that car, and I am certain that he will be punished accordingly. Please, don’t put any blame on yourself, love. It’s okay.”

After a moment Remus sighed sleepily, mumbling out an “Okay.”

“Are you tired, Remus?” Remus nodded.

“Yeah, but I don’t want to go to sleep. I want you to keep talking, I like hearing your voice. It calms me down. I…I didn’t think I was going to get to hear it again.” Logan had never had a better reason to ramble. “Well then, I’ll keep talking until you fall asleep and I’ll be right here when you wake up. Does that sound satisfactory?” Remus nodded, content with the suggestion.

“I’m not going to wake up and find out this is all a dream, right? You’re here, aren’t you Logan?” Logan frowned, bringing Remus’s hand to his lips and pressing a kiss to his knuckles.

“I’m here, I’m right here. And I’m not going anywhere. I love you, Remus, so very much.” Remus smiled faintly, finally fully reclining against his pillows and feeling content enough with that being true to shut his eyes.

“Okay. Good. I love you too, Dragonfly.”

With that, Logan continued to talk until Remus was in a deep slumber. He told him about his conversations with Roman and how he had regaled the tale of their first moments as he couple. He told Remus how worried he’d been when he received the call. Most importantly, he told Remus he loved him to the moon and back, an expression he’d previously found so silly.

That night Logan slept curled up in an uncomfortable hospital chair, listening closely to the sounds of Remus snoring, of Remus breathing.

He looked forward to tomorrow and all of the days that they would get to spend together after that. Logan slept peacefully.

=+=

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rkcheri · 6 years ago

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﹡ V-LIVE: ON AIR WITH LUXE ✌️ ━━ ◆ 럭스 ∙ JULY 31ST ! ❪ ﹡ ❫

“oh my goddess! hello, we are 럭스!”

a whole year has flown by and honestly, mijoo doesn’t know how they did it.

the voicemail from her cousin, hyunjoon, the other day had definitely put her in a better mood, despite all the what ifs that carried her doubts. the stress, while still there, is lessened by the mood -- the uplifted demeanors on their faces as they descend the place they’ll have their v-live at. and it’s kind of bittersweet, seeing the five of them when there could have easily been seven, instead. she sees where jiwon and dawon could have fit into their little niche and it has her biting her lip when she’s ushered to get changed.

a lot has changed in the past year, some bad -- a lot more good.

she’s dressed down, arguably by her standards, but that’s fine -- it’s comfortable and cute and mijoo doesn’t see herself fussing with it as much as she would have if she had been dressed up in a nice dress and heels. the outfit is one mijoo doesn’t fight the stylist on and instead dresses with ease before jumping into play. sneakers tied twice at her ankles beforehand, knowing games were in store mijoo did not want to be the one who had to pause because of untied shoelaces.

the v-live is different than the ones they’ve had before. the flow is continuous, with frequent questions being thrown around here and there and memories ( ones that have been approved by both the company and rehearsed with the manager ) are spoken candidly. they’re on a schedule -- a casual one -- but a schedule nonetheless, adhered by the staff that watches them from behind the phone capturing their moments and their words.

nothing is to be spoiled for their upcoming comeback, this they’ve been told, but there was something in mijoo that just wanted to give them a little slice of what they were to be expecting ( not consciously, of course; but it was there, that want, that built up anticipation for what’s to come ).

the schedule is stacked and when the questions begin to slow down -- an oversaturation of ‘say hello to ( insert country )’, ‘i love you, ( insert member name )’, and ‘when’s the next comeback?’ has them tying their lips quick and on to the next on the agenda.

it’s been ages since mijoo has played any of these games, company retreats a thing of the past, her life full of idol schedules -- games like these were reserved for times like these. it also doesn’t help that mijoo isn’t the best at games, anyways. especially when it comes to the whisper challenge -- even after watching countless videos online, mijoo still proves to be useless when it comes to having both ear plugs and headphones blasting eclipse’s chase me into her ears ( she’s sure that she’ll have ear damage by the time this game is over and she’ll happily text her thanks to haseul, ahyoung and ariel after ).

“WHAT?” comes up a lot during the game and when it’s mijoo’s turn, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. because as much as she wants to guess the words coming from the other’s words, her eyes zero in on the lips and try as she might to read what is being said, whether or not it was the right word -- the surprise in the other’s face is marked because mijoo says what she thinks, after five tries, that is, and not before long, she’s being forced around to relay whatever has been said -- did nayoung say fart?

“FART -- F -- AH -- RTTTT!”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

when they’re shown their audition tapes from royal survival, mijoo wants to crawl into a hole and perhaps bring that video along with her. burn it, bury it -- do something so that it did not resurface. while it was a nice performance, she remembers so jisub’s words all too well -- stale. predictable, he had said. and she remembers them to this day, because how could she forget -- it was a performance like that that had landed her in the minor team when each of her other members had been in major from the start.

it had been the worst feeling in the world and to this day, mijoo laments on it.

but what was worse than that was when so jisub had replaced dabin with her -- exchanging her spot for mijoo to claim in the major team. that had made mijoo sick to her stomach and she vocally expresses this when they’re asked about the times they remember the most, “if i could, i would have given it right back to you. but -- in the end, we’re both here,” she smiles, reaching over to squeeze dabin’s hand. “and that’s what matters.”

the other’s performances do awe mijoo, from their audition videos to the live snippets of each performance, mijoo knows they’ve improved but seeing it individually, and quite impromptu, like this makes her realize just how much they have. dabin’s version of holla holla could arguably trounce the original, while it’s clear why seolhyun was given the goddess of grace role from her performance of janet jackson’s burn it up. nayoung definitely doesn’t disappoint, her dance to scars to your beautiful almost has mijoo tearing up and she’s clapping quite loudly by the end of it. and despite what seoyoung says, mijoo believes despite the cute performance she had done covering she’z ‘no no no’, so jisub couldn’t have picked a better girl to carry them over from sexy to cute.

it’s only when it comes to her turn, to sing bts’s 버터플라이 that she wonders if she’s let go of the pain that show has brought her. while overall, an amazing growth on her part -- it had trampled over her dreams in the worst way possible. she had always wanted to become a singer, known for her voice -- emotionality and being found in the way she expressed her tone and timbre. but to be called predictable, it had hurt and thrown whatever pride she had left away.

for now, she’s better -- she’s learned from her mistakes. she was here, wasn’t she?

she had finally been able to fly, even if so jisub had clipped her wings once.

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and perhaps her unconscious has caught up to her. because not before long, as they’re switching up parts for the last segment of their v-live, a performance of confused: mijoo is left dazed, unable to concentrate and adapt to being center -- not when she’s always been pushed to the back ( a place that she had grown quite comfortable in; in the back no one could see if she made tiny mistakes or forgot the choreography mid-way through ) but here, front and center, mijoo -- whose head is full of a handful of different choreographies at a time does her best.

and not surprising, her best at dance is obviously not good enough because instead of the confused choreo at a certain point in time -- her hand reaches for her thigh, fingers pinched into a familiar formation, a movement much like one that jaekyung had just taught them weeks ago for their new single, mini skirt, and she unzips air all while confused plays in the background and it’s only after dabin and seolhyun give her a second look that she realizes what she does and she immediately laughs it off, despite the sudden rush of adrenaline shooting up into her system, before quickly and chaotically trying to find her mind and the correct dance moves all while trying to get back into their prompted formation.

oh no, she can already feel the daggers aimed for her heart from behind the camera.

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the chaoticness of their v-live ends, and she can still feel her ears ringing from the horrible high notes dabin had just delivered but that’s to be expected. her stomach aches from laughing and despite the onslaught of consequences to be at her head; mijoo can’t say she regrets it, not now at least.

when they’re bidding their farewells, mijoo had promised herself that she wasn’t going to cry; and this is tried and true as she holds onto seoyoung’s hand for support as she makes her parting words.

“thank you so much for all the support and love you’ve given us this year. this year, to put it honestly, was definitely hard. while our debut was amazing, the end of last year, hit us with quite some unfortunate news but we were able to overcome it. with new members, whom we love, and our beautiful fandom, our olympias. we can only do better from here on out, to meet your expectations of us and continue to deserve the love you give us so unconditionally. we’ve still got a bit more time until the end of the year so please look upon us expectantly and keep us in your hearts! please enjoy the rest of your day and be safe!” she smiles, taking a deep breath as she bows low to the camera before rising; another brighter smile replacing the last.

“until next time, olympias, this has been 럭스! bye ~”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐃 ∙ @rkxayah, @rkella, @rkyena, @rkxzoe, @rkceline , @rksona , @haseulrk , @rkxblue , @rkariel , @rkhyunjoon

#luxe:july19 #( * �� ∙ 럭스 › l u x e . )#( * ✦ ∙ —— royal forever . )#❪ ﹡* HAPPY럭스DAY › 1 YEAR ❫#vlive:luxe

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emulateharry · 8 years ago

Text

story of my life

Chapter 16

I can’t believe we’re at 16 chapters! Thanks to @melissas173 for her suggestions and to @niallandharrymakemestrong for her constant support. You would not believe how much I badger these women! Okay, here we go.

Harry was awakened by the touch of a hand on his arm, the rhythmic beeping of the monitors in Kacey’s room having lulled him to sleep. Laura was standing in front of him, tears in her eyes. He stood up and pulled her into a hug as she cried quietly. “How could someone do this to her?” she whispered in between sobs. “I don’t know. I don’t understand either,” he replied quietly, his face stony with anger. Laura cried for a few minutes more, then straightened up and wiped her eyes. She looked down at her best friend and touched her cheek. Taking a deep breath, she looked at Kacey and began to talk.

“Alright, Missy. Sleepy time is over. Let’s get the lead out. You got me here in London, now let’s go have some fun. Of course we’re going to have to call Nikki before we go anywhere ‘cause, damn girl, you need some serious make-up to cover up that much purple. No, it’s not like trying to cover a hickey. I swear I’ve never seen anything like it. And those very attractive stitches, sweetie you know Halloween’s over, right? There really aren’t any costume parties where you can play Bride of Frankenstein coming up soon. Yes, I know your block headed boyfriend would be perfect to play ol’ Frankie but still. Maybe Beauty and the Beast—he’s got the hair for it. But it might be too much for even Nikki to overcome on that face.” Laura continued a sarcastic monologue as Harry just gaped open-mouthed at her. “Yo, fish face!” this directed at Harry. “Do you not get it? If I make her mad enough, she will wake up and smack me. All part of the plan. Plus, she will get all sorry for herself if you let her. Wallowing in self-pity is not a good look for anyone. Just gotta, what is it you Brits say? Take the piss? Which is, by the way, a totally different thing in the US. Like the tossed salad thingy.” Harry was so surprised that he barked out a laugh. It was the first time in over two weeks that he had smiled. “Dude, you seriously need to go take a break. And a shower. I don’t care if you’ve already had one. Get the hell out of here for a little bit and send in that sexy Irish friend of yours. Your mom is out in the waiting room. Go on, I’ve got this. Scoot.” she instructed. Harry obeyed reluctantly, kissing Kacey on the lips and whispering that he loved her before hugging Laura and heading out to find his mom in the waiting room. Anne and Gemma had rearranged the furniture in the small private reception room to make better use of the space. One of the sofas they had moved to a darker corner to be used for napping and there was a pillow and blanket just waiting for an occupant. The other sofa and the chairs they had put in a conversational grouping with the side tables in the center. Anne looked up surprised when Harry walked into the room. “Sweetheart, is something wrong?” she asked with concern. “No, Mum. I have been kicked out of the room and Niall has been summoned,” he replied with a small smile. Anne matched his smile, thankful for the young woman she had just met who could bring some lightness to her son. “Best hurry, Mate. She’s not very patient.” he added with a grin. Niall, also grinning, rose and headed to the door, patting him on the shoulder as he passed. “Mum, Gemma, would you like to get some dinner? I have also been instructed to shower. We could get takeout and go to Kassidy’s.” he suggested. Jeff had arranged for a car and driver for Harry, not trusting his ability to concentrate. Harry had called for it and they sat for a few minutes until he received a message that it was waiting at the main entrance of the hospital. They grabbed their coats and headed to the elevator. Once on the main floor, they walked out the door and were immediately set upon by dozens of paparazzi and reporters. Harry tried to shield his Mum and sister from the flashes as best he could while keeping his head down and making his way to the car. They were pushing and shoving and shouting questions. The driver was standing with the door open and Gemma and Anne slid in quickly while Harry climbed in the front. Hiding his face, he gave the driver the address and asked him to make sure they weren’t followed. He had not been prepared for the onslaught, but he realized that he should have been. They circled Kacey’s block once to make sure there were no paps there waiting before getting out. Harry had asked the driver to go and pick up the food he had ordered on the way, making sure to include some for him. Harry leading the way, the three headed to Kacey’s flat. Gemma and Anne looked around at the space and smiled at the cozy atmosphere. Harry headed straight to the windows to make sure the curtains were completely closed before turning on any lights. He flipped on the television on the wall and tuned to the news channel. Sure enough, his house was all over the news. On the fifteen minute loop he was the top story. He watched quietly as video of someone, who must have been Kacey, being brought out of the house and loaded into an ambulance played on the screen. As soon as the doors closed, the ambulance sped off with lights flashing and siren wailing. Dozens of people stood around as the second person was brought from the house and driven away. Then the officers rolled crime scene tape around his security wall and disappeared back inside. The announcer was busy speculating that Harry had suffered a drug overdose and was being rushed to the A&E. The internet was practically melting. Disgusted, he called Jeff. Jeff and Harry’s new PR team were working overtime managing the misinformation in the press. Jeff told him that it was only a matter of time until they found out what really happened and they were trying to position themselves ahead of that story. Harry was red hot after the yacht video and having had TWO women rushed to the hospital from his house just weeks after being seen making out with Kendall was going to be injurious to his image. Harry actually yelled at Jeff over that comment, not caring what the fucking public thought while his love lay close to death in the trauma care unit. Jeff managed to backpedal and calm Harry down before hanging up to get to work on both handling the reporters and arranging for security. The driver, Andy, arrived with the food and they all sat in the kitchen to eat together. There was little conversation. While his mum and sister cleared away, he went into the bathroom to take a shower. Laura had been right, he needed one. The hot water calmed his nerves and he stood letting it run over him for quite a while. Feeling refreshed, he found some clothes that he had left at Kacey’s hanging in the closet. Gathering up the towels and his dirty clothes, he took them into the kitchen and tossed them into the washer. Joining his mum and Gemma on the sofa, he called Jeff to find out the plan for the return trip to the hospital. It was going to be almost two hours before the security team would be assembled and in place. Jeff did not want Harry to leave until then so Anne encouraged Harry to get some rest. Kissing his mum on the cheek, he went into the bedroom and lay on the bed. He slept fitfully for an hour, his dreams invaded by Kacey being chased by paparazzi brandishing knives in their cameras. Giving up on a nap, he wandered back into the lounge. Andy and Gemma were watching something in the television while Anne was perusing the bookshelves. “Oh sweetheart, could you not sleep?’ she asked as Harry walked into the room. “Not really,” he replied, voice croaking with fatigue. “I just want to be with Kassidy.” Anne walked over to hug him and kiss his cheek. Releasing him, she went back to the bookcase. “Harry, is Kassidy a fan of Peg Hughes? She has several copies of her books, some of them in other languages,” Anne asked while looking at the shelves. “I guess you could say that,” he answered, a slow smile appearing. “Mum, Kassidy IS Peg Hughes.” Anne was just staring at Harry in surprise when Gemma piped in “No way! Why didn’t she tell us?” “She wanted you to like her for herself,” he said simply. “So my Christmas gift, she really does know someone at the publisher,” Anne remarked, smiling. “Yeah, quite a few people there,” Harry replied, grinning. They were interrupted by Harry’s phone. “Jeff, what’s the plan? Okay. The A&E entrance? Yeah. I don’t want a repeat of when we left. Yeah. Alright, thanks.” Turning to his mum, Harry explained “I’m going back now. You two can stay here or go home if you’d like. Andy can take you. If you want to come back to hospital, I’ll send him and a security person to escort you.” “I’d like to go back with you but I’ve got work tomorrow early. I think I’ll go home,” Gemma said reluctantly. “I’ll go with you Gemma, if you don’t mind and stay there for the night. I’ll come back to hospital in the morning, Harry, and you can leave for a bit then,” Anne added. Their plans sorted out, they gathered their things and left Kacey’s flat. * Harry’s arrival at the hospital was uneventful. Hospital security were adamant about keeping the A&E entrance clear and kept the paps well back. Andy pulled in smoothly, Harry hopped out, and his security escorted him to the waiting room. He texted Niall that he was back and a few moments later his friend walked into the room. Harry began to greet him but stopped at the expression on his face. Niall was trying very hard to maintain his composure and swallowing repeatedly. Harry was about to panic when Niall realized what his friend was thinking. “No! She’s the same! No change. I’m just…I…How could someone do that to her?” his voice cracking. “I didn’t want to upset Laur. I don’t know how you two are so strong.” “I don’t have a choice,” Harry replied softly. Niall nodded and explained that he would be waiting for Laura. He pulled out his phone and got comfortable on the couch as Harry left the room. Harry walked to the intercom and was buzzed in to the trauma unit. He walked straight to Kacey’s room and took his usual seat next to her. Laura was still talking to Kacey, reading her gossip items from the internet interspersed with a running commentary. Harry found himself laughing several times at her monologue. Once she asked him to make himself useful and go get her a water because that much talking dries out anyone, even in ‘a city this damp.’ There was a knock on the glass doors and they both looked up, Laura smiling at the large woman standing there. “Clarissa! Thank goodness you’re here. What’s happening? Who did this to her? Can we have them thrown into one of those dungeons you people are so famous for?” Laura peppered. “Laura, dear, good to see you. And you are Harry. Clarissa Dickson Wright, Kassidy’s attorney. I’m glad you are both here. First, let me see my girl and then we have lots to talk about.” Harry moved aside so that Clarissa could get closer to Kacey. She looked at her for a long time in silence, patting her hand, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, smoothing the blanket over her. At last, clearing her throat, she turned around to face them wiping a tear as she did so. Her expression was changing from concerned to angry and she struggled to get hold of her emotions. With a sigh, she moved to a chair near the wall and sat. Laura and Harry pulled their chairs closer to Clarissa and sat with their backs to Kacey. Clarissa began “I have spoken with DCI Sheppard. I can tell you that the young woman found in your home, Harry, was the aggressor and not an innocent bystander. The police are not certain what happened but they surmise that the young woman, whose name they have not yet released, followed Kassidy through your security door and accosted her at the entrance to your home just after she unlocked it. Again, not sure of the exact events and still mapping out what may have happened, the young woman assaulted Kassidy repeatedly as she tried to get to the panic alarm. It seems that Kassidy managed to strike the girl, breaking her nose and rendering her unconscious in the process. Some of the blood on Kassidy and in your lounge belongs to the girl. As for motive, they are not sure. The girl’s family has hired a competent attorney and they have refused to allow her to answer any questions as yet.” Pausing a moment to take a drink of the water bottle she carried with her, she then continued. “I will wait to see how this plays out but I am prepared to file lawsuits on Kassidy’s behalf. Which brings me to the two of you. Kassidy has appointed both of you powers of attorney. Laura, you are her financial attorney. You have the powers to make any financial decisions for her, which is appropriate so that you can manage her portfolio until she is able to resume responsibility. Harry, your petition was for health and welfare issues. You are her health care surrogate until she is able to make those decisions herself. As of ten minutes ago, when I presented them with the documentation, the hospital must seek your permission to treat her. You also make the decisions about where she will live and who will care for her, until she is able to make those decisions for herself.” Harry sat stunned. Kassidy had trusted him with her life, literally. His surprise was obvious and Clarissa watched him shrewdly. “Harry, is this something that you will be able to do? Can you carry out these duties?” she asked him, voice carefully neutral. “Yes,” he managed at last. “Yes, I will care for her. I will make sure that she receives the best treatment until she is recovered.” “You seemed hesitant, I want to make sure that you will not falter,” Clarissa was stern. “No, I will make certain that she has the best care. I was just surprised,” he said. “She loves you Harry. She trusts you with her heart…and her life,” Laura added quietly. Clarissa rose to leave, not wanting to crowd the room any longer. “I’ll be back to see her soon. Right now I have to head to my office to take depositions for the suit against Mortwick and Geoffrey Adams, the little weasel. They shall rue the day they tried to hurt my girl,” she declared forcefully. Patting Kacey’s toes, she told her to ‘heal faster’ and then walked out of the unit. Once she had left, they returned their chairs to the bedside to be nearer to Kacey. Laura turned to Harry before speaking. “Harry, you seem like a nice guy. I know you fucked up on that boat but I don’t think you are bad person”, she paused before continuing. “It wasn’t the pictures that did her in, you know? It was the video of you playing tonsil hockey with that…female. She was devastated. I’ve only seen her that way one other time and I never want to see that again,” Laura’s gaze was intense. “Kacey loves you; you need to understand what that means. She loves with an intensity that can scare some people. She does not need some global playboy, she needs a real man who loves her too. If you can’t handle it, you need to walk away right now. But if you are going to stay, you need to man up. Because if you hurt her again, so help me, I will bring a shit storm to you the likes of which you’ve never seen. And that’s a promise.” Laura’s tone was low and calm as she stared at Harry. Harry sat quietly for a moment before responding. He looked up, his green eyes wide and glistening with unshed tears, looking much younger than his almost-22 years. A small smile graced his lips as he said “I see that Kassidy is not the only one who loves intensely.” Laura resisted the urge to smile back. “I love her, Laura. I should have told her but I was afraid. She wasn’t. She is kind and generous and thoughtful and selfless and fierce. She came into my life and my whole focus changed. She challenges me and makes me want to be a better person, to be someone worthy of her. I don’t deserve one, but if she gives me another chance, I’ll make sure that she knows how much I love her. I’ll never let her forget,” Harry vowed quietly stroking Kacey’s hand with his thumb. Laura sat back in her chair, relieved. She watched him as he looked at Kacey, gently touching her hand and arm, reaching to caress her cheek. After sitting in companionable silence for another fifteen minutes, Laura rose and stretched. “Well, my flight was hell and I did not sleep. I am going to go and corral that little shamrock in the other room and see if he’ll buy a girl something to eat. Then I’m hoping for a ‘special’ dessert.” Looking at Kacey, she poked her arm and said “You know what I mean, Kace? Of course you do. Okay Missy, your job, while I’m gone, is to wake the fuck up. I want to see your pearly whites smiling at me when I come back.” Laura bent to kiss Kacey’s forehead and whispered “I love you Kace. Keep fighting.” She hugged Harry and went out in search of Niall. * Kacey lay in the bed unmoving. Her face was slack, the muscles that give it tone and shape not under control. Once she was stable enough, she was moved from the trauma unit to a private room on a medical wing. It had been four days since the attack. Harry sat next to the bed holding her hand and looking over some papers Jeff had sent him while Jim Dale read Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets on a CD. He looked up at Kacey every few minutes and stroked her fingers. It was almost time for Laura to come and take over the ‘Kacey Watch’ so he could go and get a shower and attend to things. It was strange how his world, so enormous just a week ago, had shrunk to this tiny hospital room. He was aware that life went on around him, but his focus was firmly on the woman in the bed. He didn’t care about the other details in his life. He made decisions about his career and signed documents and hoped he was making good choices because he really wasn’t able to give them his full attention. The crime scene cleaning crew had come to his home and removed most of the horror but there were some stains on the furniture that they could not get out. Harry had Jeff arrange to have all the furniture in the lounge taken away and burned, and made him watch to see that it was actually done. The last thing he wanted to see was someone selling gruesome souvenirs of Kacey’s attack. He had called his designer and had her re-do the lounge, giving her carte blanche with the only instruction being to make it relaxing and comfortable. He had been staying at Kacey’s flat, the paps miraculously not figuring this out and leaving him alone despite the reports about their relationship screaming from every gossip site on the internet. They had tried to follow him a couple of times as he left the hospital but Andy was an excellent evasive driver and lost them in the hustle and bustle of traffic. Harry suspected that he had a history of working with either Scotland Yard or MI6 but kept that theory to himself. Glancing up from his paperwork to look at Kacey, he froze. He scrambled to find the call button for the nurse, pressing it repeatedly. Kacey’s eyes were open. The nurse had just finished her assessment and left to call the doctor. Kacey had indeed opened her eyes, but there was no sentience. She was not ‘awake’, did not respond to commands or even sounds, but it was still a milestone. Her Glasgow Coma score had improved to a 10 and the nurse was encouraged as was the doctor. Kacey’s wounds were healing well and her surgeon and neurologist decided that she could be moved to a private rehab hospital since she no longer needed the highest technological levels of care. The facility that was chosen was highly rated and secure. Her new room was spacious and nicely appointed with a sitting area and an extra bed making it look more like a hotel room than a hospital. The staff was very attentive and designed a treatment plan that currently included physical therapy but would expand as her recovery continued. Each day they worked to assess Kacey’s level of awareness, asking her to follow simple commands like squeezing a hand or blinking her eyes or even sticking out her tongue. She had been there for two days but it seemed much longer to Harry. The nurse had just come in for the afternoon attempt at ‘voluntary action.’ * She hurt. There were waves of pain washing over her but she couldn’t pinpoint where they were coming from. At least they seemed to be lighter than the last time she noticed them, more of a gentle lapping instead of the great crashing whitecaps from before. Kacey could hear voices floating to her as if from a distance but the words were not registering. A deep mellifluous tone seemed to break through “Squeeze my hand love, you can do it.” Kacey became aware of subtle pressure on her right hand. “Come on love, just a little squeeze.” Kacey tried to remember how to do that. She tried sending the message to her hand to move. “Kassidy, baby, squeeze my hand.” Well apparently that didn’t work. Kacey attempted to focus. She thought of her fingers, concentrated on them. Using all her strength she willed them to move. “That’s it!! Baby that’s it! You did it! That’s my girl!” Kacey could feel the excitement. Happiness bubbled up within her. “I love you Kassidy. I love my girl.” Kacey’s heart thrilled at the tone and the words. The voice kept going but she wasn’t able to understand what it was saying any longer, nor could she feel her fingers. There was no pain, she was receding. * Harry’s excitement was contagious. “Did you see that? She squeezed my hand! My girl squeezed my hand when I asked her to!” The staff agreed that it was wonderful. That simple action moved her up another step on the coma scale to an eleven. Harry was convinced that it wouldn’t be long until she was awake. Though they tested twice a day, there was no repeat of the voluntary movement over the next few days. Harry was discouraged but tried to maintain a positive countenance whenever he was in Kacey’s room. Her eyes opened daily and, though she blinked spontaneously, she did not track motion or look around the room. She simply sat in the bed, unseeing. It was late the next Monday morning and Harry and his mum were sitting with Kacey talking around her and to her, reading her little tidbits from the paper and cards from her friends and fans. They had turned their backs to hang the cards on the wall. When they turned back around, Kacey was watching them. * The world came back to Kacey suddenly on a Monday morning. She had been hearing noises and voices occasionally but could not see anything. All at once, she was able to see and hear and move. She blinked her eyes and looked around her. She was in a room of some sort—it smelled like a hospital but looked like a hotel. There were two people hanging something on the wall directly in front of her, their backs to her, chatting to one another. They turned around and gasped as they saw her looking at them. The man was familiar and he moved closer to the bed and spoke to her. “Kassidy? Baby? Can you hear me?” Kacey looked at him, trying to place the face and the voice. As the realization hit her, her eyes grew wide. She began to breathe more rapidly and her heart sped up. Somewhere, hidden in the décor, an alarm went off. Kacey gripped the sheet on the bed as the man continued to talk. “Kassidy? Baby? It’s me, Harry,” his tone cautious. Kacey breathed harder as her heart continued to pound. The door to the room opened and a nurse walked in. “Miss Day? Kacey?” Kacey turned her attention to the woman. “Do you know where you are?” “Hos…hospital,” she managed her tongue thick and lazy with disuse. “Yes, that’s right. Do you know why you are here?” the nurse asked. “N-no. Accident?” Kacey rasped. Kacey’s attention was drawn to the man in the room. Her hands began to shake. “Why are you here?” she was able to say. He looked hurt at that. “I love you, baby. I’m here to be with you” “Ho-how? I don’t und-underst-and” barely a whisper. Kacey’s heart was racing. Another alarm went off as she began to hyperventilate. “Kacey, you need to calm down. Slow down your breathing,” the nurse instructed. Unable to tear her gaze from Harry, eyes fearful, she gripped the blankets harder. The monitor behind the television showed her blood pressure rising steadily. “It can’t be…this can’t be real…” Kacey said, fear audible in her voice. The nurse opened a cabinet next to the bed and typed in a code. The supply drawer opened and she prepared a syringe. Injecting it into the port on the IV, Kacey watched as the room began to fade from her view. The last thing she saw before the sedative took full effect was the tormented look on Harry’s face.

#soml 16 #Kacey and Harry #Hassidy (I snickered!)#soml16

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kpopgerapitico · 8 years ago

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Song of the Week

IT’S A NEW YEAR!!!!!!!

And for some reason, instead of taking a break like any sane company would, a bunch of groups had comebacks that will inevitably be forgotten by the end of next year. This turned out longer than usual (I was being wordy), so I added a cut for your convenience.

Honorable Mentions:

I am so confused by NCT 127′s comeback. The video starts in fake old footage, and then moves to the present. But the fashion doesn’t change. And the title is in 3 languages, but the song only touches on 2. Why is it even labelled in Chinese? We may never know. Musically I really like the chorus and the bridge alone, but I’m not a huge fan of them together. I keep waiting for NCT to define themselves in SM’s lineup, but it really hasn’t happened yet. They seem to fit somewhere near EXO, just a little bit harder. Maybe. I am intrigued but thoroughly confused by Limitless.

All of these older groups are coming back, with music that I just don’t understand. It all references there old stuff to get original fans back, but also tries to be current. And sadly, the 90′s aesthetic in music is not really in right now (with the notable exception of SHINee). Or maybe I just don’t find it interesting. Anyways, S.E.S fell into that trap with Paradise, which stole the drum sample from SHINee’s 1 of 1 and with Remember, which feels stuck in every way except its really nice sound production.

What is with all these idol bands coming out of the wood works? Not that I’m complaining. MAS 0094 is joining the group with their debut(?) Make Some Noise. It is a song I didn’t know I needed. If you took FT Island at their hard rock style, and then added the melody and style of B1A4, you would get this song. I adore it. My one complaint is sadly in the production of the recording I have.The guitar is horrible cut off in the processing, as is almost all of the band sound, making a wall of almost white noise in the chorus. The vocals are great, but everything else feels like it was recorded with no understanding of clipping.

Seventeen has finally gone for BTS’s proven non-vocal chorus in Highlight. I fell more than a little bad that I can’t tell visually that this is Seventeen, but way to go performance team. And I have a feeling this track is an insanely good workout song, maybe a good pump up song, and definitely a killer dance track that will be remixed a bunch. No guarantees that I remember it at all in a month though.

I love me a good R&B vocalist. And Heize has done a great job making a name for herself, so when I see her featuring on something, I’m pretty sure I will at least like it. That is true of DAVII’s Navigation. I like how simple the vibe of the whole track is, without being boring. It feels like something that should play in a record shop while you search through vinyl with a coffee in your other hand.

I never thought I would see the day that a group tried to be a new Infinite, since the originals fit into such a distinct niche. But TopSecret is doing there best with their debut, She. The dancing in the video reminds me of the knife style stuff Infinite has had mastered for years. The music even has some of the same retro styles you hear in a lot of Infinite’s stuff. It’s disconcertingly like looking at the alternate universe Infinite. Where Infinite had to be super cutesy. And have a band concept.

I love AOA when they are mixing addicting dance tracks with sexy vocals and their equally sexy concepts. Good Luck is a great example. So is this years Bing Bing. While not as powerful as last year, it is still a solid track from them. I didn’t like Excuse Me as much, and was bored with it way faster.

You know how I said S.E.S had messed up? Shinhwa gave the perfect example of what you should do. Touch is all sorts of cool. It feels like the stuff way younger groups are putting out in every way except one. There is a confidence and maturity in Shinhwa, one that comes out in their willingness to still take risk 19 years into their career. They all look amazing too, which is just unfair when their youngest is 35, and the hyung line is all 37. Even their music video is effortlessly cool.

Daydream was one of my favorite albums last year. So when I looked at this years schedule for Day6, I was half scared, half excited. Excited for what may be a constant onslaught of killer Day6 tracks. Scared that they may falter halfway through the year, or lose any health they had from overwork. Putting that aside, the first song of the year is out. And it is a banger. I Wait has a really really interesting verse section, a guitar break at the end for the first time with the group (not a particularly interesting one but still) and a chorus that fits into their existing discography well. I can only really describe it as an interesting combination between Western alt. rock, K-pop, and K-Rock. And I may be in love with the combination.

Choosing the winner this week was super hard. I did my listening to almost all of the tracks a day early, and was deliberating between Shinhwa, Day6 and the winner. In the end, the winner went to the song I cannot get out of my head.

I have talked about Korean ballads here a lot, and how important understanding the language is for me with ballads. But once in a blue moon, they get me hard just like they are designed to. Vromance’s I’m Fine did that. Their vocals are absolutely stellar, enough to put some fear in the current ballad kings, BtoB. They aren’t even pushing the top of their ranges (no one is in falsetto unless they are up an extra octave). I would almost comment the sin of putting them on the same level as 2AM (GASP!). And the video had me crying a la the beginning of Up by the end. There are also some really interesting things happening musically into the final chorus that I adore. The live is insane.

#sotw #vromance #i'm fine

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isolavirtuosa · 5 years ago

Text

Starting Over (For Real?) 43-44

[fanfiction] NaruSasu

Read the previous parts here.

- 43 -

Our team was not quite what I had hoped.

“How the fuck do you keep getting noticed?” I growled at Naruto as we rushed by towering rock formations. “You’re the most powerful fucking ninja in the fucking world, and you can’t even do a basic henge!”

“It’s not my fault!” he protested.

“He kind of glows with chakra,” Ino mused.

“Well maybe you coulda pointed that out before we left on this top secret infiltration mission!” Naruto cried indignantly.

“I didn’t really notice until you kept getting noticed,” she said with a shrug.

“They’ve called in reinforcements,” Sai hummed. “Are we going to stand our ground?”

As much as I would have loved to level some Kumo ANBU, it didn’t seem like a good idea while we were sneaking through their country. I actually wanted to find Juugo, and turning the full-force of Kumo against us didn’t seem productive if our intel that he was here panned out. “No,” I said flatly.

“So we’re going to just keep running?” Ino asked, rolling her eyes.

We weren’t close enough for her to be giving me all that sass. “No, you’re going to be the distraction,” I informed her.

“How am I going to distract all of those ANBU?” she asked incredulously.

“Your feminine wiles?” I suggested.

“Harem no Jutsu!” Naruto called cheerfully as his fingers formed the seals.

An army of scantily-clad harlots appeared between us and the advancing ANBU.

I grabbed his hand, dragging him forward, then nodded at Sai.

Naruto seemed confused.

Sai was not confused, and grabbed Naruto’s hand, followed by Ino’s.

We slipped between dimensions.

“Where are we…?” Ino murmured uncertainly.

I shifted us back to Kumo, just far enough away from the ANBU that we could easily make our escape.

“Damn, Uchiha,” Sai said, still holding my hand.

“What?” I growled, shaking off Naruto’s hand.

“You couldn’t do it that easily before.”

“I’m his battery,” Naruto put in cheerfully.

While I didn’t care for his word choice, he wasn’t wrong. Naruto and I had started enhancing each other’s jutsu with our chakra, and it was taking us to a whole-new, god-tier level of power.

Naruto was very humble about it, though. “Isn’t Sasuke amazing?” he asked cheerfully as we raced along.

“I like it better when you two hate each other,” Ino said, wrinkling her nose.

Naruto looked affronted. “That’s rude.”

“Is it, though?” she asked. “All this lovey-dovey energy you put out towards him is suffocating.”

“It’s cute!” Naruto protested.

“Eh,” Sai said.

“Eh?!” he cried.

“Eh,” Sai repeated.

“Eh,” Ino agreed.

“Eh,” I also agreed.

“Et tu, Sasuke?!” he cried, skidding to a stop and grabbing me by my collar.

“Naruto, there are ANBU chasing us,” I pointed out.

“Okay, but you’re my boyfriend and you don’t support me.”

I stared at him.

“We… will resume this later,” he said, fingers sliding down to my upper arm in a tight grip.

“There’s nothing to resume,” I informed him, resting my hand over his briefly as I pushed chakra into him before pulling us back into a run.

“Yeah, see, even when you’re fighting, you’re still being all lovey-dovey,” Ino complained. “Both of you.”

That was an affront to my character. “I have never in my life loved nor doved,” I ground out.

“‘Naruto’s so perfect and wonderful and amazing and good and oh-em-gee, how can he love a monster such as I, whoa is me,’” Sai said, doing the least plausible impersonation of me ever performed.

“Go to hell, Sai,” I told him.

“Such a kidder, Best Friend.”

I think I hated this team.

We finally got far enough away from civilization to establish our base for the night. Ino took the first watch while I set up a plan for us to venture into the next town with Naruto hanging back.

“We probably need to stop sharing chakra,” Naruto hummed into my shoulder as we settled into bed for the night.

“No shit, glow boy,” I growled.

“That’s a cute nickname,” Naruto said delightedly.

“This is serious,” I muttered, even as I was shifting and exposing my neck to the sudden onslaught of very nice kisses I was receiving. “You’re turning into a liability.”

“Really? You’re gonna call your battery a liability?”

“You’re going to call yourself my battery?”

“Sas’, you were so amazing today.”

I sighed, letting him distract me. “Thanks to my trusty battery?”

“No,” he said. “Well, yes, but no, like the way you just shift through dimensions like breathing now, it’s incredible to watch.”

“And you enjoy watching me?”

“Yes.”

“You’re a creep,” I sighed. “Go to sleep.”

“Sasukeeee,” he whined.

I sighed again, turning over to pull him into my arms.

He snuggled into me happily.

“I’m serious,” I told him. “We have to do something about you exuding power everywhere you go.”

“You’ll figure it out,” he mumbled sleepily. “You’re brilliant.”

“Or you could figure something out,” I suggested.

“Nah, you’re the brains…” he trailed off.

I knew he was already gone, so I set my mind to thinking of ways to hide all of Naruto’s ridiculous amounts of chakra.

Of course the most obvious solution was that I stopping giving chakra to him and he pour all his excess chakra into me, but I wasn’t sure it was a good idea. Naruto could handle his chakra. I, on the other hand…

I remembered the night before we’d left on this mission. We’d just kicked the shit out of each other on the training ground, which was of course foreplay to us. We stumbled into the apartment, already enrapt in one another. Naruto was thrumming with energy as he kicked the door closed behind us.

“Bedroom,” he said, walking me backwards.

“We’re disgusting,” I protested, not wanting to roll around in dirty sheets.

“Bedroom,” he repeated, pressing me against the door and waiting.

“You’re doing the laundry,” I muttered, reaching behind me to turn the knob.

“I am doing the laundry,” he agreed, pushing us back into the room until the back of my legs hit the bed.

I looked at him.

His eyes met mine evenly.

I sat back on the bed and pulled him on top of me.

He was like a puppy, pouncing and nuzzling my neck happily. “You’re super sexy when you’re trying to kick my ass,” he informed me.

“Trying?” I scoffed.

“Trying,” he said with a smirk that looked ridiculously out of place on his goofy face. Fuck he was good-looking when he was confident.

“Is that what you call this?” I asked, pushing his shirt up and examining the bruise I’d left there.

“No, I call them washboard abs,” he said, grinning.

“You’re ridiculous today,” I informed him. I tugged his shirt and mesh over his head, tossing them to the floor.

“Am I?” he hummed, giving me a kiss.

Our eyes met, and I could feel his smile against my mouth. I wanted to give him the world. “You’re perfect,” I mumbled, too embarrassed to let the words come out clearly.

His breath caught.

I attempted to refocus him on our mouths becoming one.

“Sasuke,” he said quietly.

I ignored him, carefully mapping my way through his mouth.

He tried to speak again, then realized the futility and made out with me instead.

I felt relaxed, running my fingers along the bare skin of his back.

“Love you,” Naruto informed me between kisses. He said it so much that one would think that the words had lost all meaning.

I hugged him closer. I needed to hear it constantly, or I’d stop believing.

Naruto knew that. His fingers trailed along my cheek before cupping it gently, his chakra tingling along my skin. “I love you,” he repeated, and then the chakra was pushing inside of me.

It flowed through my chakra paths, easy and familiar.

I cried out.

The chakra stopped.

Naruto pressed his horned forehead to mine, questioning and waiting.

I scratched down his back.

“Hey!” he yelped, goosebumps rising up along his flesh.

I glared up at him.

“Tell me?” he requested. I can’t read your mind, he was always telling me.

“Don’t stop,” I ground out.

His expression softened into a smile. The warmth of his chakra crushed into me again.

I gasped.

The flow became slower, gently washing over me.

“Why is power the only thing that turns you on?” he complained.

I tried to glower at him, but it was probably barely more than a grimace. “I’m not turned on,” I growled, but I kind of was. It was hard to describe exactly how I was feeling. I felt powerful. It felt right.

Our kisses were slower now, almost lazy. Naruto was hard against my leg, pressing in close but restraining himself from moving.

“Move,” I mumbled.

He hesitated.

“What do you want?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” he said softly. He really didn’t.

I knew. I looked at him with my sharingan, and I knew how to do it. I curled my fingers around his neck and pushed.

Naruto’s mouth opened in a silent cry.

The chakra had initially burst out uncontrolled, but now I focused on making it into a steady drip.

He relaxed, rolling onto his side and keeping me close. “It feels weird,” he whispered. “But it… but it…”

Everything had been dark when I woke up inside the God Tree. All I had was the warmth of the chakra that Naruto was feeding into me, keeping us both alive.

It was a good feeling.

And without the God Tree to sap anything away, it was a powerful feeling.

I’d seen Naruto do it a hundred times. The natural energy gathered inside of me, and then I was glowing.

“Whoa,” he breathed, eyes wide.

“Can you use mine?” I asked.

“I dunno,” he said, closing his eyes. He was feeling out my chakra, trying to understand it. Electricity tingled up my spine from his hand like a static shock, but he quickly let it die out. “Maybe our bed isn’t the best place to experiment.”

“I thought you liked experimenting in bed,” I hummed, reveling in how fucking amazing I felt.

“Depends on the experiment,” he said, eyes studying me now.

I could probably destroy him with his own chakra. It wasn’t that I ever would, it was just that I liked to know that I could. “So did you just want to make innuendos, or…?”

“You’re looking a little too megalomaniacal to be anywhere near my private parts right now,” he said, hand tracing chakra up my back and around neck, grazing over my chin and continuing until he reached to thumb over my bottom lip.

I smiled at him lazily. I felt like I could destroy the world and rebuild it single-handedly. “Too scared to get off, honey?”

“Too smart,” he replied with an easy smile, giving me a very soft kiss.

“Naruto.”

“Mm?” he said, still tracing my lips methodically.

“I want to make you feel good,” I told him solemnly.

“I feel very good right now,” he assured me.

“I could make you feel even better.”

“Sasuke, love, you have the same look in your eyes right now as when you were coming at me with your chidori…”

“I do not,” I growled at him, breaking contact to pinch his arm.

Naruto shrieked. He hated when I pinched him there, and he always had to completely overreact to it. He rubbed his arm with his stump, glaring at me. “First of all, that did not in any way, shape, or form make me feel better, and second of all, oh my god, Sasuke, was the Valley of the End foreplay for you?”

“No…” I said, trying to sound like I didn’t agree with what he was saying at all. And I really didn’t. Fighting Naruto was something that filled me with regret, made me doubt all of the choices I had made up until that point, and made me question who I even was.

But nothing felt better than going against Naruto at full strength and having him hit back just as hard.

“I am in love with this psychopath,” he muttered.

I pinched him again.

“OW!”

“Has your dick gotten any less hard during this entire conversation?” I pointed out, because Naruto the masochist could complain about how much his arm hurt all he wanted, there was still a giant tent in his pants.

“I want us to have a healthy relationship…” he complained.

“That ship has sailed, Uzumaki.”

“I know,” he sighed. “What’s wrong with me?”

“Nothing,” I said quietly, kissing his nose. My megalomania had started to taper off now that I was no longer getting a steady injection of chakra.

He smiled at me, smoothing my bangs out of my eyes.

We melted back together, another infusion of chakra trickling through my pathways. Somehow we both ended up losing our pants, and then our bodies were just skin-to-skin contact, our chakra mingling together through every pore.

“You’re getting that look again,” Naruto murmured.

“Fuck off,” I grumbled against his lips. I could enjoy my all-powerful feelings and the high it gave me all I wanted.

“I’d like to,” he said quietly.

Somehow I’d forgotten about Naruto’s plebeian need to ejaculate. “Between my legs,” I said.

“Huh?” he replied, elegant as always.

“Put your dick between my legs,” I instructed irritably.

“It won’t… chafe?”

“Get some lube then,” I said, rolling my eyes. “And get a condom while you’re at it,” I added, shuddering at the thought of the mess he would make without one.

Naruto broke the chain between us slowly, then bounced over to his nightstand and located all of his supplies.

“Hurry up,” I complained, despite the fact that my body was overflowing with his chakra, and really, what could I possibly do with more?

Naruto shook his head, but he was smiling as he rolled the condom on. “I almost feel wanted.”

I kicked my leg out at him, knocking him back on the mattress. “You’re wanted.”

“Apparently,” he said, happily shimmying in close again.

We re-positioned, shifting until Naruto slid easily between my thighs.

His eyelids lowered, and he got that stupid sexed-up expression on his face.

I buried my fingers in his hair, sending out little tingles of chakra.

“How did you think of this?” he marveled between grunts.

“Ancient pederastic tradition,” I hummed.

“Huh?” he said, but his movements didn’t slow.

“Don’t worry about it, honey,” I said, pushing more chakra into him. I was almost full to bursting.

“It feels so good.”

I pet his head like a dog, watching him rut into my legs until he couldn’t take it anymore.

I was glad he was wearing a condom.

“You’re okay?” he asked after a long silence.

“I am amazing,” I replied. He’d emptied his chakra into me as he came, and I was glowing with his power.

“Good,” he said. “I am also amazing.”

It felt like we were finally figuring things out.

The thing was, Naruto could be trusted with all of his power.

I wasn’t so sure that I could be.

- 44 -

Weeks had passed and we were still no closer to finding Juugo.

“Sasuke’s like a black hole swallowing the sun,” Sai chortled as he joined us around the fire for breakfast.

“Um, no, Sasuke is the moon. He takes the light from the sun and uh, howsit go again…” Naruto started off strong and petered out. His grasp on astronomy was tenuous at best, no matter how many times I explained to him that no, the moon did not emit its own light, and yes, the reason it shone was because of the sun.

“Maybe if the moon swallowed the sun whole and spit out its used-up, black core,” Sai hummed, serving himself some rice.

“Are you two really best friends?” Naruto asked suspiciously.

“Talking ill about someone is a sign of deep friendship,” Sai said cheerfully. “Besides, the one I’m really speaking ill of is you!”

“Thanks…?”

I ignored them and continued to eat my breakfast while Naruto fed his chakra into me from behind. It was our morning ritual.

It didn’t matter how much chakra he gave me, though. The fact that Naruto was no longer completely human was getting more and more difficult to ignore. His arm had fully regrown down to his fingertips, his horns protruded from his hair, and I was pretty fucking sure that what Naruto was claiming to be a premature wrinkle in the middle of his forehead was actually a third eye.

“’Sup?” Ino greeted us blandly, sitting next to me.

I handed her a coffee.

She took it, eyes barely open as she sipped it.

Ino was ready to go home.

Not that any of us had a home, but we were all pretty tired of Lightning and the wild goose chase we were on. If we weren’t being hounded by Kumo and Konoha ANBU, we were avoiding anti-ninja villages and their fake God Trees which had also started springing up in Lightning.

“Can you take a little more?” Naruto asked me, his chakra tapering off into a drip.

“That’s what he said,” Ino mumbled into her coffee.

“Obviously,” I said.

“More tuna?” Sai offered, holding up a can, and we all cringed.

“Real food…” Ino whispered dreamily.

“It doesn’t exist anymore,” Naruto groaned.

I knew he was fantasizing about ramen, because I could see it in his mind. Naruto was completely open to me when we were sharing chakra. As long as his hand stayed on my back, I had access to anything I wanted to probe into.

Sai shrugged and finished off the tuna by himself. He loved eating the same thing every day. “So, are we ready to go?” he asked cheerfully.

Naruto was still eating breakfast with one hand, his other resting on my bare back as he fed me his chakra. Ino hadn’t quite finished her cup of coffee and was still looking like hell warmed over. I was sitting here with my top open and hanging onto the ground, contemplating taking up smoking to somehow fill the gaping holes inside of my soul.

“Oh, yeah, we’re all so ready to go,” I told him tiredly.

“Great,” Sai said, going over to pack up his tent.

Ino, Naruto, and I thrived in a fight. Sai thrived in the sneaking and subterfuge. He was enjoying himself in the mindless doldrums of our everyday life.

“You okay, honey?” Naruto hummed, kissing the back of my neck.

“Peachy fucking keen, Naruto,” I grumbled, then shook my head. “Sorry. I don’t know, I’m in a terrible mood.”

“Do you kinda… sense something?” he asked. “Like, you know, a foreboding?”

Ino and I both turned to him.

“What?” he asked.

We didn’t really talk about the transformation that he had gone through, but the unknown of it all kept it on our minds.

“Please tell me you’re not a psychic now,” Ino groaned.

“Huh? What? Why?” he asked.

“I just don’t like the idea of a psychic Naruto,” she said.

I nodded my agreement.

“Whaaaaaaat?” Naruto complained.

“There’s just something not right about it,” Ino explained vaguely.

“I would be an awesome psychic!”

“Baby, let’s switch,” I said, stifling a yawn.

“Hm?” he said, immediately going back to being a normal person. He took his hand from my back and shifted so he was next to me.

I pulled my top back up over my arms and took his hand, funneling some of my chakra into him.

Ino watched for a moment before quickly turning away.

“Are we all set for today’s adventure?” Sai asked cheerfully.

“Sai, you need to learn how to read a room,” I said.

“We’re not in a room,” he said, his smile widening.

The three of us glared at him.

“I’ll put out the fire, then,” he said, happily going about the task.

“I think the team is fracturing,” Ino commented.

“We never were a team,” I replied.

“Hey, come on,” Naruto tried to protest, but it was true. He and Sai always had weird tension, he and I went back and forth between being the grossest couple ever to disagreeing on any and everything, and Ino had just never quite clicked in with us.

“I’ve got a good feeling about today!” Sai declared as we finally moved out.

We traveled through an open valley between two villages, nothing in sight for miles. I was focused now. We would make it to the next village before nightfall, where there’d been a rumored siting of Team Taka after the collapse of the Infinite Tsukuyomi. I wasn’t putting much stock in it, since the person had claimed to see Juugo, Suigetsu, and Karin, who hadn’t been anywhere near Lightning at the time and hadn’t seen Juugo and Suigetsu since she’d woken up.

It made me think it was a trap.

“Uchiha, there’s something not right,” Sai commented as we raced along.

I was feeling it, too.

Ino looked between us nervously.

There was nothing in front of us and nothing behind us.

“It’s under us,” Naruto said quietly.

“Sai,” I said, nodding my chin at him.

He pulled out a scroll and sketched a platoon of birds. “Get on,” he said, hopping onto the back of one of them.

We all took to the sky, but that feeling that something powerful was lurking below us persisted.

“You look like you want to investigate,” Naruto commented.

“You look like you want to investigate,” I countered.

“I don’t want to investigate,” Ino stated flatly.

“You and Sai can go ahead,” I said.

“No,” she said quickly. “You two are not just going to rush into something blind. This thing, it’s… I mean, doesn’t it feel familiar?”

And then the sky exploded with arrows.

“Naruto!” I snapped, nodding my head towards where the attack was coming from.

“Already on it,” he said, exploding in golden light. He tore the trap door they were hiding under from the ground, revealing the fighters huddled together on a staircase leading into the earth.

One of the arrows that I easily dodged exploded as it passed, causing my ink bird to falter. “Fucking normals,” I muttered. Why did non-ninjas have to carry on with their farce of attacks when they were nothing more than ants in front of us? “Ino, Sai, watch the sky,” I said, following into the fray behind Naruto.

He had things pretty well wrapped up already, to be honest, and punching people without chakra was kind of a joke, but it made me feel better doing it.

“Sasuke,” Naruto said, tying up those he had knocked unconscious.

I sighed, letting the unconscious man slip from my hold to the floor.

“They’re people.”

“Are they though?” I asked.

“Sasuke.”

I ignored him and moved down the stairs. There were more of them, clearly guarding something, and I flicked them away.

It was pulsing through the air, and I knew what was hidden before I saw it.

The God Tree spread itself like a weeping willow, filling the underground room with its drooping bodies.

“Get everyone down here!” I called to Naruto.

“Huh?” he said, coming down the last steps having just finished tidying up the prisoners. His eyes widened at the sight of the tree. “Okay…”

I pulled out my sword and started cutting bodies down. After a while, the other three joined me.

“Where do these trees get their power from?” Ino murmured, pulling out another sleeping person from a pod.

Proximity to my rinnegan was doing nothing to stop the effects of the tree.

“Uchiha!” Sai called from the other side of the room.

I was beside him in a moment, staring at the body he was pulling out of a pod. “Suigetsu…”

He was paler than ever, and he looked almost skeletal, but there he was.

I rested a hand on his shoulder for a moment. He was breathing, and that was all there was for now. I started hacking down the other nearby pods.

“I’ve got Juugo,” Sai said, but it was too late.

“This can’t…” I stuttered over the words, staring at the red-haired girl asleep in the pod I’d just cut open.

“What is it?” Sai asked, sauntering over. “I thought you’d be more excited to see your former best…” The words died from his lips.

Something passed through the room like a shock wave.

“She knows,” I whispered.

“Why are you two being so weird?” Naruto asked, then joined us in freezing and staring at Karin’s body.

“She knows!” I said more urgently.

“Sakura…” Naruto said slowly, panic starting to well in his eyes. “She’s always with Sakura…”

“Go!” I snapped.

Naruto gave me a blank look.

“She knows that we know. Go!” I repeated.

Understanding flooded his face, and then he was disappearing in a flash.

“Shit,” I whispered. “Shit, shit, shit…”

“Maybe she’s not really…” Ino tried to say, but just stopped. She touched her hand to Karin’s cheek. “This isn’t possible. She had Karin’s chakra. She was with you for months. There’s no way that you wouldn’t have noticed…”

‘Come,’ Naruto’s voice whispered in my head.

I didn’t have technique formulas spread out from here to Suna. I couldn’t just transport myself half way around the world.

‘Come!’ came his voice again, more urgently.

The Flying Thunder God transport technique wasn’t really as hard as it looked. Sure, if I made a mistake, I would be dead, but when did I ever make a mistake?

“Take care of them!” I snapped at Ino and Sai, nodding to my team before disappearing in a flash. I slipped through dimensional voids, following Naruto’s technique formulas like a map until I was back in Suna, bursting out of Naruto’s forehead protector.

There was a giant hole in the wall surrounding the village.

“She’s getting away!” Naruto called, trying to hold his opponent back.

I slipped through the hole in the wall, ignoring the fact that Naruto was fighting the woman he considered his grandmother.

Sakura was ahead, chasing down the impostor Karin along with Temari.

She wasn’t Karin anymore, though. The facade had melted away, leaving only a white zetsu racing ahead of us joyfully.

I slipped through dimensions, catching up to the girls easily.

Sakura was hurt, her arm hanging at a strange angle as she ran. “It’s not Karin,” she said, tears pricking her eyelids while her face stayed in an immovable grim line.

“Where is Gaara?” I asked, because if Tsunade had risen from her white zetsu sleep, then it only stood to reason that so had he.

“Kankurou’s leading a group to detain him,” Temari said clinically.

“All right then,” I said, slipping through dimensions again and coming out in front of the white zetsu.

She grinned at me, her face becoming Karin’s again.

Good thing I was really good at compartmentalizing. I sent her flying across the desert with a punch.

She just laughed as she landed, light and happy. “Are you upset with me, Sasuke-kun?”

I wasn’t rising to her bait. I approached her cautiously, on the lookout for any tricks or traps.

Sakura and Temari were here now, too, and the three of us slowly moved closer in a triangle formation, coming at her from all sides.

She threw her head back and laughed loudly. Her face shifted, becoming the mizukage. “Be seeing you, girls,” she said, waving her fingers as she sank into the sand.

We all dove for her, but she was gone.

“Fuck!” I snarled into the air, hitting my fist uselessly into the sand.

“There’s nothing we can do now,” Temari said flatly. She helped Sakura to her feet. “Let’s go.”

I was on the edge, about to snap, so I took a deep breath, buried it all, and followed Temari and Sakura back to Suna.

#narusasu #isola starting over

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londontheatre · 7 years ago

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January must be the most depressing month in the calendar. Christmas is over, the decorations are down and everywhere is looking drab and boring. The weather is awful and the credit card bills for the festive season have arrived. The best thing to do to escape the January blues is to take a holiday somewhere hot but, if your wallet won’t quite stretch to that then the next best thing is to share someone else’s holiday. So, I would recommend that you get yourself down to the Above the Stag and join the folks for Bitches Down Under.

The plane has barely touched down at Sydney airport before Drew (Liam Nooney) and his fiancé Garth (Ethan Chapples), along with their favourite “fruit Fly” Pam (Hannah Vesty) are in a bar at Bondi Beach. This holiday is very special for Garth and Drew as not only is it their first visit to Mardi Gras but afterwards they are flying off to New Zealand – Pam with them – to get married. The bar is a typical one that you could find on the beach, except it is managed by Max (Lucas Livesey), Garth’s old flatmate and pretty much Drew’s nemesis. As if one flashback is not enough, along comes another holidaymaker, Ollie (Grant Cartwright) a handsome twenty-something with whom Garth also has a bit of a past. Can Drew cope with the onslaught of Garth’s, rather racy, past and will the addition of sexy lifeguard Scott (Tom Mann) give the bitches a trip down under they will never forget?

Bitches Down Under is the third in a trilogy of plays written by Martin Blackburn. My initial concern that, as I hadn’t seen the others, I would be at a disadvantage character and plot-wise were soon dispelled. The plays themselves are all individual stand-alone pieces that share some of the same characters. Martin has a great talent for writing fast-paced bitchy exchanges between people that love each other. This is really true of Max and Garth who’s barbed conversations would look horrendous to an outsider, but are the sort of snide, critical and, at times, downright offensive remarks hurled between really close friends who have a deep affection for each other.

At times for me, it was like listening to me and my old housemate and the things we used to say to each other, ah happy days. However, there is much more to the writing than just bitchiness. Just below the seemingly shallow surface of fun, flirting and Mardi Gras, there is an actually interesting commentary on how much societal pressures influence the behaviour of individuals and how the pressure we put on ourselves can negatively impact everything we do. I’m not going to get all deep and meaningful here, but anyone thinking of dismissing Bitches Down Under as another fluffy bit of gay theatre with no real plot and buff boys taking their shirt off every five minutes is doing the show a real disservice.

Before moving on, a quick word about the production and, once again Director and Set Designer have pulled off an amazing feat. This time turning the rather limited stage space into a working beachfront bar with enough space for everyone to move around and not walk into each other or the audience. I loved the touch of using drag queen voices to fill the space in the scene changes and move the play on timewise over the Mardi Gras period. So, onto the cast and first, in case my words above have worried you, yes the boys are buff and yes they take their shirts off on occasion – but only when it is artistically essential to the plot. Of the six actors, all are really talented but my stand-out performers of the night were Ethan Chapples, Lucas Livesey, and Hannah Vesty as Garth, Max and Pam respectively. Ethan and Lucas work so well together that is is possible to imagine them as best mates outside of the theatre as well. They give this fantastic impression of two men who know each other well and have that freedom to say whatever they want, whenever they want to each other. Lucas, in particular, has a lovely way of delivering put-downs that would reduce me to a tearful wreck in the corner. But, and this is the important bit, as Max’s own story unfolds, you get to see another side of the character and he becomes a vulnerable person with a heart and feelings and at times, I just wanted to run on the stage and give him a hug. Hannah was ultimately my favourite. Being the only woman in an all-male play where the majority of the audience are gay men is, I would imagine hard work, but Hannah totally owns the stage and the audience as we follow her story through to its conclusion – possibly ending up with me having a tiny tear in my eye by the end.

Overall then Bitches Down Under is a really well-written, directed and acted play full of humour and fun. My companion, who is from Perth WA loved all the Aussie references – though he was a bit ‘sus’ about Scott’s accent at times and the two of us had a brilliant evening, not only being taken down under by the team but also finding out the most mind-blowing fact about “Neighbours” you can ever hear. All told, it’s cold, you’re miserable and broke, just forget it and get your thrusters set to take you to Mardi Gras in the heart of Vauxhall, and I guarantee you will enjoy the ride.

Review by Terry Eastham

Oil on the Factor 30 as we engage the thrust and prepare to go down under! From the team that brought you the outrageous Gran Canaria-set hit Alright Bitches! and nautical caper Bitches Ahoy!, Above The Stag Theatre is delighted to take you up the outback for Bitches Down Under!

Creative Team Written by Martin Blackburn Director – Andrew Beckett Designer – Andrew Beckett Lighting Designer – Jack Weir Sound Designer – Andy Hill

Cast Ethan Chapples, Lucas Livesey, Hannah Vesty, Grant Cartwright, Liam Nooney and Tom Mann Bitches Down Under! Runtime: 2 hours approx Above The Stag Arch 17 Miles Street, Vauxhall, London SW8 1RZ http://www.abovethestag.com/

http://ift.tt/2mYI7UN London Theatre 1

#IFTTT #London Theatre 1

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voodoochili · 8 years ago

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My Year in Music - Albums

You guys know how 2016 was an atrocious year that everybody hated and wanted to end months before it was over? Let’s revisit it so I can talk about some music I liked!

Thanks to the magic of Spotify Premium and the horror of the outside world, I listened to more new albums in 2016 than I ever have before in a single year. I was able to rank 50 albums worthy on putting of a best list, and I left out a ton that either did not make the cut or I haven’t spent enough time with. Yet it was such a fantastic year for music that I am sure there are plenty of excellent albums that I missed. While 2016 did not boast a singularly transcendent album like 2015′s To Pimp a Butterfly or 2014′s Black Messiah, it boasted a deep bench of excellent albums--an onslaught so overwhelming that my Spotify listening list nearly collapsed under its own digital weight. Anyway, enough jibber-jabber, here are the albums that stuck out to me as the cream of the crop (Yes, I left off Blonde on purpose).

Check ‘em out after the jump:

THE TOP 20:

20. Radiohead – A Moon Shaped Pool: A typically beautiful record from the world’s foremost paranoid androids, A Moon Shaped Pool is the first Radiohead album to fully integrate the arranging powers of guitarist Jonny Greenwood into the group’s sound. After spending much of the past decade as Paul Thomas Anderson’s go-to film scorer, Greenwood’s orchestral mastery nearly overtakes Thom Yorke’s falsetto as the record’s focal point. Marrying the glitchy electronics of the band’s early ‘00s output with soaring strings and minimalist piano, highlights like “Glass Eyes,” “Present Tense,” and “Daydreaming” stand up to the best material of the group’s career. The best moment of the record for me: finally hearing the impossibly sad studio version of “True Love Waits,” after spending nearly a decade obsessing over the live recording.

19. Beyoncé – Lemonade: In which pop culture’s most infallible figure opens up about her marital woes, enlisting the full power of some of the biggest names in the music industry to affirm her greatness. Lemonade is an album with towering singles (“Formation,” “Sorry”), but also a collection of spectacular moments, from the New Orleans-style horn rave-up at the beginning of “Daddy Lessons,” to the moment Jack White comes in at the chorus of “Don’t Hurt Yourself,” to her pained vocal runs towards the end of my favorite track, “All Night.” An audacious follow-up to the artistic and strategic brilliance of BEYONCÉ, Lemonade proves that Beyoncé will never simply rest in the limelight, but that she will forever use her station to empower, experiment and push music forward.

18. Isaiah Rashad – The Sun’s Tirade: “I got the music for the vibers,” chants Isaiah Rashad on “Rope/Rosegold,” and he’s not kidding. But it’s such a unique vibe, simultaneously laid-back and aggressive, with liquid, jazzy production that evokes the Dungeon Family at its most introspective. Isaiah invites us into his head, and whether he’s fighting off fans impatient with his long break between albums, reflecting on his nearly fatal battle with drugs and alcohol, or simply talking shit, his evocative pen and pronounced drawl bring out the best in each instrumental.

17. Kanye West – The Life of Pablo: Enough people have written enough about Kanye West in 2016, but here I go anyway. Whether or not the man has completely lost his rocker, he remains one of our greatest sonic architects. Each track on TLOP flows seamlessly into the next, building an exhilarating sense of forward momentum hurdling toward the tragic triptych of “FML.” “Real Friends,” and “Wolves” (keep Frank, I can take or leave Vic and Sia). If Kanye could just rein in his grossest impulses (I don’t need to hear about bleached anything, thank you very much), the album would place much higher on my list. Then again, if Kanye had any impulse control, he wouldn’t be Kanye, would he?

16. YG – Still Brazy: When YG emerged several years ago with “Toot It and Boot It,” who could have predicted that the charismatic, but seemingly- dunderheaded rapper from Compton could become one of our most reliable purveyors of political rage? A paranoid masterpiece of modern G-Funk with 4K production value, Still Brazy is a worthy follow up to My Krazy Life, my second favorite album of 2014. Still Brazy lacks the narrative cohesion of its predecessor, making up for it with a seething anger against the police, haters, the people who shot him outside his studio, and especially Donald Trump. We live in brazy times, and we’re lucky to have YG to give voice to our fear, confusion, and righteous fury.

15. Maxwell – blackSUMMERS’night: In a hype-driven, fast paced music industry that churns through artists as fast as it produces them, Maxwell works at his own pace. Released seven years after the confusingly titled BLACKsummers’night, Maxwell’s latest is a blissful oasis, a “Lake By The Ocean” if you will (you will!), tucked away from trends in mainstream urban music. Forever concerned with matters of the heart, Maxwell eschews the neo-soul of his early work. He refracts the sound grown-and-sexy icons from Seal to Sade, masterfully flexing his divine falsetto over liquid future-funk on “All The Ways Love Can Feel,” wallowing in bluesy murk on the epic “Lost,” and lamenting his devotion to an unfaithful lover on “Gods.” It’s been over two decades since Maxwell first introduced us to his Urban Hang Suite, yet Maxwell remains a unique and mysterious presence—one who lets his considerable talent speak for himself.

14. Shearwater – Jet Plane & Oxbow: Shearwater’s Jonathan Meiburg uses his intricately-crafted songs as bedrock for orchestral, ornate arrangements. Jet Plane & Oxbow finds Meiburg enlisting the services of composer Brian Reitzall (the man behind the original scores for Lost in Translation and the Friday Night Lights movie, among others) to create a tapestry of arresting synthetic sounds. Together, Meiburg, Reitzall and the band create a modern near-masterpiece of synth rock. Standout tracks include the gurgling, slowly-building “Backchannels,” the menacing bassline and disorienting orchestra of sound effects on “Filaments,” the Unforgettable Fire-style bombast of “Radio Silence,” and especially the gorgeous, generational power-ballad “Wildlife in America,” a soaring rumination on the seeming impossibility of the American dream.

13. Young Thug – JEFFERY: Possibly the most eccentric and enigmatic figure in the world of modern Hip-Hop (which is saying a lot), Young Thug’s decision to name his latest “mixtape” after his government name seemed to indicate a more personal approach to his art. Turns out, it didn’t really happen that way, with JEFFERY bringing the same gonzo melodies and glorious non-sequiturs of his previous releases. What’s new?: the dude levels the fuck up when it comes to his rhyming, especially on the opening and closing tracks. JEFFERY is a revealing look into Thugger’s mind and possibly into his artistic process. Each track on the tape is named after an influence or personal hero (and one named for “Harambe” because in order to be a meme, you have to be aware of memes I guess), and many of them consciously ape and inhabit the styles of the namesake. “Future Swag” imitates Future’s clipped, rhythmic cadence over a bouncing 808 Mafia production. “Wyclef Jean” is steeped in the music of the Caribbean, creating a thrilling hybrid of trap music and roots reggae. My favorite track on the project changes every day, but right now it’s probably “RiRi,” which boasts Jeffery’s most affecting, impassioned vocal to date. “IF YOU WANT IT YOU GOTTA EAAAAARN IT,” Thug barks (like a goddamn seal), and by God I think he’s earned it.

12. Field Music – Commontime: The long-standing project of brothers Peter and David Brewis, Field Music performs angular, fractured pop songs that often buck standard songwriting conventions. They have melodies for days, buried under addictive herky-jerk rhythms and droning keys. The result is a disorienting but addictive swirl of distinctly British art rock, echoing the dueling songwriter avant-pop of XTC, the fanciful working-class heroics of Roxy Music, and the pop adventurism of the Synchronicity-era Police. Commontime features some of the catchiest guitar-based music I heard all year, with the choruses from “The Noisy Days Are Over,” “Disappointed,” and “It’s a Good Thing” occupying a disproportionate amount of real estate in my cerebral cortex since January.

11. Danny Brown – Atrocity Exhibition: The dominant story in much of Hip-Hop is a rags-to-riches narrative, a triumphant tale from bricks to Billboards, from grams to Grammies, etcetera. Nobody in Hip-Hop, however, makes you feel the rags part of the story as deeply as Danny Brown. To Danny Brown, extreme poverty is not merely a life stage to overcome, but a trauma with aftershocks that never go away. “Some people think I think to much/I don’t think I think enough,” raps on “Rolling Stone.” His third straight classic since 2011’s XXX, Atrocity Exhibition, named after the discordant opening track to Joy Division’s notoriously bleak Closer, is a typically gritty expedition into Danny Brown’s consciousness, with outrageous punchlines counterweighting visceral depictions of debauchery and dark observations about his rough early life. Teaming up with production partner Paul White for 10 of the 15 tracks, Atrocity Exhibition finds Danny weaving his rhymes through an appealing industrial murk, equally reminiscent of RZA’s production on Liquid Swords and This Heat’s darkest sound collages. He soberly recalls his life as a low-level crack dealer on “Tell Me What I Don’t Know,” seethes a quiet despair on “Downward Spiral,” and frenetically proclaims his rhyming supremacy on “When It Rain.”

10. Chance The Rapper – Coloring Book: In 2016, Chance The Rapper finally shunted his label as the Next Big Thing to embrace his destiny as one of the Current Big Things. Few artists of any age, genre, or era can match his contagious exuberance, charisma, and skill. All of these attributes come out in full-force on Coloring Book, his third mixtape. Supercharged with gospel choirs, heavenly brass, and an assist from an assortment of music superstars and talented local friends, Coloring Book was a ray of light in a dark year. Coloring Book lacks much of the impish charm of Acid Rap, and trades much of that album’s social consciousness for earnest biblical pronouncements, but it radiates a special type of warmth and instills a sense of hope that I could not find elsewhere this year. I do not have the same relationship with God that Chance The Rapper does, but I can appreciate the way his spirituality informs his intense, infectious love for his friends, his family, and his infant daughter. The world is a better place for having Chance in it, and, remarkably, this is still just the beginning.

9. Cymbals Eat Guitars – Pretty Years: The best band to spring from Staten Island since the dawn of the Wu-Tang Clan, Pretty Years is the fourth and best album from Cymbals Eat Guitars. Long-time purveyors of surround sound shoegaze pop, this album finds the group demonstrating their songwriting chops, ranging from the hardcore stylings of “Beam,” to the Explosions in the Sky meets jangle-rock of “Have a Heart,” to the “Spirit in the Night”-esque saxophone stomp of “Wish”, to the titanic slow build of closer “Shrine.” On Pretty Years, the band embraces a more personal style of lyricism, writing songs about specific days and events. With producer John Congleton collecting the band’s ringing guitars and stampeding drums into a formidable explosion of sound, the epic expanse of the instrumentals combines with the specific and personal lyrics to illustrate the divine beauty of everyday life.

8. Kendrick Lamar – untitled unmastered: Though the songs that comprise untitled unmastered emerged from the To Pimp a Butterfly sessions, it does them a disservice to call them outtakes. They have no names, just numbers and dates, and they do not quite fit into the intricate TPAB narrative; but these songs, especially the four in the record’s incredible back half, are among his most musically adventurous and sharply written tracks to date. Less frenetic and more laid back than much of its parent album (the Thundercat basslines have more room to breathe, the strings and horns are sparing, but effective), untitled unmastered is a thought-provoking and often humorous reflection on Kendrick Lamar’s career and a meditation on a young black man’s position in society today. My favorite track: the swirling, gorgeously odd, Cee-Lo Green-assisted “untitled 06,” a triumphant ode to the artistic spirit.

7. Noname – Telefone: Noname is an inspiration, an old soul trapped in the body of a 25-year old rapper from the South Side. She rocks a conversational, poetic flow, rhyming about grief, violence in Chicago, and abortion with an earned wisdom and a feather-light touch, illuminating a perspective too often ignored in the media today. Produced by a cadre of fellow Chicago prodigies, including Saba, Phoelix, Cam O’bi, and Monte Booker, Telefone is one of the most beautiful albums I heard all year; warm, jazzy, and forward-thinking. Chiming bells and schoolyard xylophones intersect with steel drums, handclaps and sine waves, providing an ideal bedrock for Noname’s plainspoken wisdom: “When the sun is going down/and the dark is here to stay/I picture your smile/like it was Yesterday.”

6. Anderson .Paak – Malibu: After building his name the L.A. rap underground and finally breaking through on Dr. Dre’s Compton, Anderson .Paak introduced himself to a rapt national audience in 2016 with countless guest spots and two excellent albums. Anderson .Paak was probably my favorite live act of the year; a charismatic combination of James Brown and Clyde Stubblefield. I saw him in front of a good-sized crowd at a side stage Austin City Limits, leading his crackerjack group of Free Nationals as an energetic frontman and a virtuosic drummer. With Malibu, .Paak proves to be the rare superlative live act to fully translate his talent and energy to the recorded realm. Malibu is a summery slice of Anderson’s Southern California, blending funk, Hip-Hop, and R&B into a signature style, complete with an infectious half-sung/half-rapped delivery and a pro’s sense of songwriting classicism. The cascading chorus on “Heart Don’t Stand a Chance” is one of the soaring musical moments of the year, and Brian Cockerham’s bassline on “Come Down” transforms Hi-Tek’s unlikely sample of the Israeli national anthem into a funk monster. Joyful and endlessly replayable, Malibu is the ideal soundtrack to L.A.’s everlasting summer.

5. David Bowie – Blackstar: It is impossible to discuss Blackstar without mentioning this, so here it goes:

Blackstar is the final album from one of the most original and iconic artists of the past century, a goodbye letter to his fans that he recorded knowing full well that he might not live to see its release.

Bowie littered his lyrics with abstruse references to his impending demise, making an already haunting album even more profound. However, even if Bowie survived the year, the unapologetically strange and experimental Blackstar would rank among his greatest releases. The epic, atonal title track is one of Bowie’s masterstrokes, twisting through effortless tempo and mood shifts, accompanied by terrifying, yet often darkly funny lyrics. Bowie’s pitch black sense of humor also elevates “Lazarus” from maudlin to essential, as Donny McCaslin’s saxophone mournfully accents the artist’s depiction of his final days. Bowie’s final transmission to ground control is “I Can’t Give Everything Away,” a poignant, discordant ballad that illuminates Bowie’s single regret: that he will not be able to gift the world anymore art.

4. Schoolboy Q – Blank Face LP: 2016 was an amazing year for L.A. rap, and while Anderson .Paak, Kendrick, and YG released some of the year’s most exciting music, Schoolboy Q surpassed them all with the epic Blank Face LP. Working with many of the game’s brest producers (The Alchemist, DJ Dahi, Cardo, Tyler, The Creator, etc.) on this expansive, cohesive sound collage, Schoolboy Q snarls his way through 72 near-flawless (sorry “Overtime) minutes of straight gangster shit. Still a master of declarative, rhythmic hooks, Q refines his stream-of-consciousness verses, painting a gritty, and often terrifying, picture of Figueroa Street and South Central with humor, viciousness, and pathos. Blank Face boasts one of the year’s best basslines on the title track, two of the year’s broadest and best guest verses of the year in E-40’s “Dope Dealer” spot and Kanye’s batshit takeover of “THat Part,” and a convincing rap/rock hybrid on opener “TorcH.”

3. KING – We Are King: Bolstered by songwriting brilliance and gorgeous vocal harmonies, Los Angeles trio KING makes velvety, 1800-threadcount R&B. Comprised of sisters Paris and Amber Strother and “musical soulmate” Anita Bias, KING compiled extended mixes for five years worth of singles, plus some stellar original tracks, into We Are King, a powerful introductory statement. Theirs is a special brand of dreamlike soul, with genius-level chord progressions and angelic vocal harmonies, finished with a sumptuous production value. With its gentle groove and inviting lushness, We Are King is the perfect balm to melt away stress at the end of the day (it’s also a pretty decent hangover cure).

2. A Tribe Called Quest – We Got It From Here, Thank You For Your Service: When Phife died in March 2016, it seemed like a particularly cruel way for the story of A Tribe Called Quest to end. Little did we know that Q-Tip, Phife, and Ali Shaheed Muhammad had another trick up their sleeves. The fact that this album is exists--and is this amazing--is a miracle. The key, as always, is the interplay between Q-Tip and Phife. The two genius emcees bounce phrases off one another, finishing each other’s thoughts with witticisms and profound statements of truth. Jarobi White, formerly a glorified hypeman, makes us wonder why he didn’t rhyme on more tracks to begin with. The group dynamic extends to the guests such as Busta Rhymes, Consequence, Kendrick Lamar, and more, who seamlessly join Tip and Phife’s mindmeld for some of the best work of their careers. We Got It From Here… is the apotheosis of Tribe’s career, as the collective shows righteous anger towards racism and authoritarianism (“We The People,” “Conrad Tokyo”), sees hope in the future of music (“Dis Generation”), and, most touchingly, mourns the loss of their brother Phife Dawg (”Lost Somebody”). Despite the shadow of loss that hangs over the album, it’s a remarkably fun, engaging, and thought-provoking listen, and it was my most played album in the aftermath of the election.

1. Pinegrove – Cardinal:

“I’ll be sitting on the outskirts if you wanna talk about it/Things in there are getting so loud”

In a year when nearly every major pop and rap star released an album and some of the greatest artists of all time said goodbye, the album that hit me the hardest was a 30-minute debut by a modest band from my dad’s hometown of Montclair, NJ. The group, led by frontman/songwriter Evan Stephens Hall, mines a homespun blend of 00’s indie rock, emo, and alt-country—a nostalgic, yet novel approach, which when coupled with Hall’s voice creates a frisson that I felt from no other band this year. The eight songs on Cardinal twist and turn, avoiding traditional verse-chorus structure, instead building emotional peaks and valleys around Hall’s stories, dotted with pearls of matter-of-fact wit and wisdom. The centerpiece is “Aphasia,” a jaw-dropping feat of songwriting about the struggle to put feelings into words—it gradually builds up steam until it reaches a brilliant little song-within-a-song (!) and culminates with a cathartic guitar solo. “Aphasia,” and much of the rest of Cardinal, is so casually brilliant that it almost angers me, but hopefully there are many more moments like that in this young band’s future.

THE REST:

21. Kaytranada – 99.9% 22. The Avalanches – Wildflower 23. Terrace Martin – Velvet Portraits 24. BJ The Chicago Kid – In My Mind 25. Big Thief – Masterpiece 26. Ultimate Painting - Dusk 27. Skepta – Konnichiwa 28. Solange – A Seat at the Table 29. School of Seven Bells – SVIIB 30. Kevin Gates – Islah 31. Cass McCombs – Mangy Love 32. Jessy Lanza – Oh No 33. Underworld – Barbara Barbara We Face a Shining Future 34. Kaitlyn Aurelia Smith – Ears 35. Badbadnotgood - IV 36. Sturgill Simpson – A Sailor’s Guide to Earth 37. ANOHNI – Hopelessness 38. Leonard Cohen – You Want It Darker 39. King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard – Nonagon Infinity 40. Crying – Beyond The Fleeting Gales 41. Leon Vynehall – Rojus 42. Mitski – Puberty 2 43. Saba – Bucket List Project 44. Joyce Manor – Cody 45. Black Mountain - IV 46. Kornel Kovacs – The Bells 47. Lambchop – FLOTUS 48. Japanese Breakfast – Psychopomp 49. Nao – For All We Know 50. D.R.A.M. – Big Baby D.R.A.M.

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