#my only plans tonight are watch this game so that means during int i am just sitting here waiting for it to end

[nicohischier]

tired of intermission already :( gimme back my game :(

[croatian-nt]

Sejan podcast

I know this isn’t in order but I also know everyone is waiting for this one so, here you go. Translation under the cut

Host, speaking to the camera: Good day dear viewers, and today-a treat. Dejan Lovren and Šime Vrsaljko. I was tempted to start this off with Šime's famos phase: Good day working people, tonight is a live" but it seemed a bit too much

Host, turning to them: should we expect something like that from the two of you during Euro as well?

Dejan: it's spontaneous for us. For Šime and me. We never know what will happen

Host: oh I see. Is it also partly the fact that you are a bit older now-

Šime: *giggling *

Host: -so you have this mindset of "oh we are older now, we'll leave it for younger players"?

Šime: *giggling louder * well no-we only improve with years that go by

Dejan: we get even worse

Šime: *openly laughing * yes, even worse!

Host: but the two of you continued that tradition even after WC. You call one another, you go live, you guve yourself into the ether, so to say

Šime: I mean, it's not...it's not showing people as much as they think-

Dejan: we show them maybe 1%!

*everyone laughs *

Šime: yeah we show them maybe 1% of the way we-I mean, we show everything through positivity and that's it. I guess people like that

 Host: I know the two of you have been active during quarantine. You were both probably bored and had quite a bit of interesting conversations. Maybe we should touch a bit upon that. Is it something you guys plan or does one call another and then you just talk?

Dejan: Oh, it's as I said before. Šime knows that when I call him, I'll call him three times. He has to answer

Šime: yeah, we really don't plan that. I often have some things I am doing but then he is calling me to comment on something and I-I don't have the heart not to answer

 Host: so Dejan, you were also quite bored in quarantine, and you tries quite a lot of activities. I believe cooking was also one and that one steak ended up burned

Dejan: the house almost burned down

Host: *laughs *

Dejan: no, seriously

Host: so it ended up completely black huh?

Dejan: yeah. But I did learn how to cook better after that

Host: and you Šime? I believe you said you didn't cook the eggs but the eggs cooked you. That there was oil everywhere

Šime: I mean, they closed us in the house. And I had some friends over and we were all really hungry so I made some eggs. They asked for fried eggs but they ended up getting scrambled ones

 *about getting haircuts in Russia*

Šime: so I came downstairs, after the lady was finished with Kova already. And we share a glance and Kova is like 'brate...this really isn't good' but I take a seat anyway, hoping it will turn out alright. And then she started cutting it and I felt she was taking out too much hair so I stopped her. Still had patches of hair missing. It was awful

Dejan: the rest of us surely didn't let him forget about it

Host: so how did all of this start? I know the two of you were roommate and that Dejan pressure you into opening instagram account, which you didn't want to do. But you did in the end

Šime: yeah, he was pesting me about it for days. 'Šime please. Com'on just open an account please' and what could I do? I relented. And then...I think we made that Marica video first?

Dejan: yes, that's how it all started

Šime: yeah. I didn't know how anything on Instagram worked, so I played with filters and that's how Marica happened. Interesting, what can I say

Host: what's interesting is that none of that was planned. There was no plan, no censure, nothing. You just showed us things as they were

Dejan: well I think that's the best, really. Plans rarely work out as you want them

Šime: yeah. We didn't do it to, I don't know, pretend we are funny or for views or something like that. Just...what happens, happens

Host: do you miss it now? The fact that you aren't roommates?

Dejan and Šime overlapping: we didn't-weren't

Dejan: everyone has their own rooms. But it's practically like we are. Not much of a difference

 Host: how did you think of your famous "aj lajk" idea?

Šime: well I don't it'-

Dejan: something got messed up in his brain

Šime: -something clicked in or out of place

Dejan: he just said something like "aj lajk a lot" and that was the end of it

Šime: no, I remember there was something-there was that moment well-erm

Dejan: laughs *

Šime: *sighs, shakes his head * I was watching this comedy from Jim Carrie and then he-and then he- *loses a train of thought *

Dejan: *laughs louder *

Šime: *smiles * there was something he did and-I thought of-

Dejan, whispering: aj lajk

Šime: no, it was-

Dejan, louder: ajjj laaajk

Šime: it was something different

*continous laughing from both Dejan and the host *

Šime: ...anway it was also spontaneous

 -Card break-

 Host: let's make first card break. You take the cards and ask the questions one to another

*Šime and Dejan take each one card *

Host: you can take all of-or you can take them one by one. Nevermind

Dejan: so what, I am asking him then?

Host: yes

Šime: don't give me any hard questions

Dejan: a yacht or a sailing boat?

Šime: a yacht

Host: a big one?

*voices overlaping *

Dejan: as long as everything fits in-

Šime: it doesn't really matter-

*pause. Šime shrugs. Dejan starts laughing *

Šime: I don't wanna sound too posh here. I don't spend much time on yachts and I was never on a sailing boat. And I am not very patient-

Dejan, overlaping: he doesn't have patience for that-

Šime, still overlaping: yeah, exactly-

Dejan, speaking over him: I think he is more likely to push the sailing boat himself-

Šime: I really don't think I'd like that- not one bit. Anyway, SUV or Cabriolet?

Dejan, looking pained: Cabrio.

Dejan: VAR or not VAR?

Šime: *sighs * no VAR

Šime: Jennifer Lopez or Shakira?

Dejan: *thinking*

Šime: Can he choose both?

Host: he can, but if he can choose one that would be better

Šime: I am just giving him an option

Dejan: JLo

Šime: ah, fine I guess

Dejan: rock or hip hop?

Šime: I listen all kinds of music so it depends

Šime: iPhone or Android?

Dejan: iPhone

  Host: Šime you didn't play a lot of games because of your injury. We are all happy you are back now but I am curious. How did you feel at home, watching them play and suffer on the pitch while you are at home?

Dejan: what about how I suffered?

Šime: If someone told me I will not play for the nt for so long after WC during WC I eould have called them crazy. But I kept postponing the injury during WC and I paid the price after. So yes, it was hard, watching my boys that I spent so much time with, play without me and struggle while I wasn't there. But I am here now and we have a big chance once again to cheer up people who love Croatia

Host: Deki, there have been some new player joining the nt recetly. How do you think they are settling in?

Dejan: I think, good. I mean when I remember my start, of course you are a bit more shy but I am sure they'll be more outgoing with time. But they seem like nice guys

Host: do you think there is a potential in some of them to continue this entertainment thing you and Šime do? Or are they more closed of?

Šime, cutting in: I think there is always a way to joke around a bit. But-

* Dejan, shaking his head and mouthing no*

Host: no huh?

Šime: but-

*voices overlaping *

Dejan: it just doesn't exist-

Host: how would you encourage them to-

Dejan: you can't. You are either born that way or you aren't

Šime: I mean the two of us have been in the nt for awhile now and it's always the same. Every morning if I wake up even at 4 am I'd start laughing

*Dejan laughing *

Šime: it's just the way it is and you can't really describe it

 Host: I wanted to ask, I don't know if this will ever happen but I would like to see you two as hosts one day. If you could choose someone to ask questions as host from the nt, who would it be?

* Šime and Dejan share a look and burst out laughing *

Šime, still laughing: no the thing-the thing is, the two of us commented on probably every famous person ever. Connected to sports or not. But if I had to choose-if I had to choose someone I think I'd laugh to tears with while interviewing it would be Goran Bare

*Dejan giggling in the background *

Šime: it would really be a show

Host: if he could hold a concentration during the whole interview

Šime: I mean it would be something casual, like this. And for the questions we would have...I reallly don't know

Šime, looking at Dejan: who would you choose?

Dejan: I don't know

*silence *

Šime: com'on brate, say someone

Dejan: hmmm. I don't know. No one is coming to mind right now

Host: and from the nt? If you had to choose one teammate?

Dejan: Brozović

Šime: well yes but-

Dejan: he is maybe number one for me right now. I just remembered

Host: and would he agree? To come to a show hosted by you?

Dejan: not only would he agree. He would have to agree

Šime, unconvincinly: mmm. Yeah

Host: Deki, did you get used to life in Russia?

Dejan: well yeah, yeah I did-

*Šime giggling *

Dejan: it's not how I expected. I expected to be able to survive the winter but it's really cold

*Šime bursting out laughing and coughing *

Dejan: I went out on the balcony one day and thought "my freezer is warmer than this "

Šime: so meat can be kept outside with drying clothes. If it's that cold. How cold it is?

Dejan: -30 C

Šime: wow. There we go then

Host: you didn't visit him yet?

Šime: no

Host: and you won't huh?

Šime: oh no *laughs * I said I didn't not that I won't

Host: Šime how did you face Luka after snatching the trophy from him?

Šime: normally. But I remember thinking-since he scored last minute to Villarreal and we won our game. If we ended with a draw and he scored a goal in last minute and won the championship-uff. I wouldn't be able to look at him

Dejan: he doesn't even have space for any more trophies anyway

Šime: him?

Dejan: yeah. Like com'on

Šime: but. Um- *looks at Dejan and forgets his sentence *

Dejan: dragi

Šime: hmm?

*Dejan laughs *

Šime: don't talk too much

 Host: We had Budimir here yesterday and we talked about how he got into argument with Savic. He didn't want to tell us any details, but he said you'll surely tell us everything

Šime: he really pushed it all on me huh?

Someone off camera: that's not exactly how he said it!

Šime: I mean I don't want to judge because I am on good terms with both of them. I didn't get involved and I actually found someone else to argue with-

*Dejan laughs *

Šime: but I am really close with Ante while we are with the nt but Stefan is also my friend I talk to every day so. I wouldn't want to pick sides

Šime: I am glad Ante scored thought and that the club bought him so I congratulate him on it this way-oh he just entered

Host: Ante you came a little late. We just talked about you and Savic. Šime told us everything

Dejan: he insulted you to the fullest

Host: he told us everything, we heard a completely different story from you, just so you know

Budimir: will I need to give some sort of reply?

Host: it's too late for that, you had you lr chance and you didn't say anything

Šime: I wanted to say, there was tension during the whole game and it escalated jn the tunnel-

Host: oh Luka, you are a bit late too. We talked about you as well

Luka: I was here already before-

Host: I think he waited until you left to say something-

Budimir: I just wanted to say, he sent Grbic after me. The biggest one

*all laugh *

Šime: I didn't even see Grbic. I was too busy with some other things. Some my exhibitions

  -Cards break-

Dejan: who has the best image?

Šime: ufff. Hmmm *thinks for about 30 seconds * Based on my taste? I guess Mateo? He knows how to dress well

Dejan: *laughs quietly *

*everyone from the background start laughing *

Host: you are not of the same opinion

Šime: well I said it's based on my taste

Dejan: next question

 Šime: who has the best car?

Dejan: what should I say?

Šime: just say it's you, brate

Dejan: I mean Barišić has a good car

Host: Barisic huh?

Dejan: I wanted to say Luka but Luka is *makes dismissing gesture with his hand *

Luka: soon!

Šime: Luka will have it soon but tastes shouldn't be discussed. Besides whoever has the fastest doesn't mean he is the fastest

*everyone laughs *

Host: so who is the fastest?

Šime: well that I don't know. We should have some sort of competition

 Dejan: who gets ready the fastest?

Šime: ufff. I don't know. I really don't know. I can tell you who gets there last but-

Host: who gets there last?

Dejan: captain

Host: Luka huh?

Dejan: well you know it's when you pass 30-31, you immediately pay a fine. So he comes exactly at 30

Šime: but at yesterday's lunch, you should have seen that show. It was 29 minutes and 45 second when suddely the door opens and everyone rushes in. There was pushing and running...chaos. but that's because we have some new regulations like no being late, no phones...but I think that's great

Host: who paid the most fines?

Dejan: ufff I can't quite remember. But I think Reba and Perisic

Host: now I'd like you both to tell me about your childhood, but perhaps something not football related

*Šime and Dejan burst out laughing *

Šime: there is still more of these dragi *giggles *

Dejan: are you fucking with me

Host: alright sorry guys, my bad. Continue

Šime: are you asking me or am I asking you?

Dejan: you ask me

Šime: no, I asked you last. You ask me

Dejan: alright. Who eats the healthiest?

Šime: I think Deki does

Dejan: Me??

Šime: yes. The way he makes and mixes those salad he eats...I am sick from only going to that part and looking at all the stuff you are supposed to put in them. But he does it so carefully and he clearly enjoys it. I mean we all eat healthy but he is like...yeah

Dejan: I mean I really do like salads. And I have this whole pressure-captain sits next to me and he says "make a double salad"

Šime, overlapping: well yeah, he uses him a little, so what-

Dejan: and it has to be perfect, salted to a gram, otherwise it's "what did you put in this?!" *sighs * it's fine

Šime: who cooks the best?

Dejan: cooks???

Both of them: no one

 Host: alright so, your childhood. Šime, you can go first

Šime: my childhood? I don't know what to say, really. It was good, I grew up loved, surrounded by fun and playing games with my friends outside. I also thankfully have a younger brother and...I don't know. Most of my fondest memories are the ones spent playing outside, usually with the ball of course

Host: which neighborhood?

Šime: well we moved once so there were two addresses in Zadar, until I finished middle school. And then I went to Zagreb at 14

Host: what about you Dejan? I know you had a harder childhood, but I'd like to touch upon happy moments and not so much on bad ones

Dejan: what should I say? I don't know where to start. I mean I had a really nice childhood in Germany. My parents introduced me nicely to the real world pretty early on. I remember at that time I thought we had everything we needed but...in the background everything was burning. I think I only realize how bad the situation was when we got back to Croatia. But that's alright-it happened for a reason. And I think we can all be proud that we survive it. I am actually sad my brother didn't went through that with us. He was too small

Host: you spoiled him a bit huh?

Dejan: well no. He is 10 years younger. By the time I went to Lyon he was just starting to grow up. Maybe that's why I-because of what happened I developed quite a character. So I can proudly say we all went through that together and today that's something that doesn't have a price

Host: you went to Zagreb when you were only 14 right? Although I believe you said in one interview you really wanted to go

Šime: I wanted to go because it was a call I couldn't refuse. It was football and football is my biggest love. And it's something you just feel you need to do. And when you are that young you are just pulled by your goal, by the love for football. But when I came and when the process of growing up was suddenly sped up...only then did I realize the consequences of my decision. But at that time that was a challenge to which I would never admit defeat. So there was only victory left. And I did win that game of my life. Those kind of moments left a mark on you. As Deki said those things make you stronger and make some things later in life easier

Šime: but don't get me wrong! I am not saying it wasn't nice as well. I am talking her like it's something awful-

Host: was it too much of a change to you at first?

Šime: well no, it was great for me actually. I was supposed to go to Hajduk at that time and I went to two tournaments with them in Zagreb, we won that tournament, I won the best player award and they were demanding for me to come to Hajduk but they couldn't make a deal with Zadar and then the offer from Dinamo came and...there wasn't much thought on my part. It was really great. I was at dorm for the first 6 months. And...I don't have time now but one time when we have time I'll talk about the details and my experience with boys from both on and off the pitch. It was a time of self descovery for me so to say

Host: Deki, I have to ask you something. I have a friend that played with you in Inter and he said that you spend the whole night with them celebrating, but you only drank Cola and similar drinks. Never alcohol

Šime: impossible. I don't believe it

Host: that's what he told me

Šime, turning to Dejan: is it true? How old were you?

Dejan: 16 or 17 I think?

Šime: oh okay, then I believe it

Dejan: I mean I had this sort of mentality of looking at things ahead. It's not that I never got drunk. I got absolutely plastered and I walked on my knees-

*everyone laughs *

Dejan: -but I definitely had days I didn't drink despite hanging out with teammates because i didn't feel like it

Šime: *still laughing *

Host: He is dying of laughter. I don't understand why

Dejan: that's because he saw the time I was on my knees and ge remember that now-

Šime: *laughing louder *

Dejan: so now for him that's-

Šime: no it's *laughing do hard he is incomprehensible * it must have been some time before the game so you didn't drink *proceeds laughing *

Dejan: well yes, that's what I am telling you. The rest of them were getting wasted anyway

Šime: *laughs even louder * this was good, my god

Host: he has good tricks huh?

Šime: no I mean, I am not saying what he is saying is untrue I just *laughs *

Dejan, overlapping: he just saw the worst version-

Šime: I know how he gets when he-*laughing harder *

Dejan: -saw the full transformation-

*both laughing very hard *

Šime, wiping his eyes: oh my god.

Dejan: anyway, next question

 Host: Šime that jump of yours after a ball during the game against Belgum...what happened?

Dejan: blackout

Šime: I mean yeah-I was so mad

Host: but jumping with both legs-

*Dejan laughing *

Šime: he is laughing but I am still mad. There were so many situations with Lukaku, he kept pushing the players with the whole "oh I am strong, oh I am fast" I mean he is but. Still. So when I saw him leading the ball I wanted to-I want to shorten his....

*everyone except Šime laughs *

Dejan: his legs

Šime: his way to towards the goal. And I failed and when i saw that in a duel I lost the ball-

* Dejan laughing again*

Šime: and I was tired and under stress so I had to get it all out somehow so i don't do something worse later

Dejan: I remember watching TV and I saw that, I looked at my brother and then back the TV and I said "he had some sort of blackout there"

Šime: I just did what I had to do. If it was concrete there, I would have threw myself at concrete at that moment

*Dejan absolutely losing it *

Šime: I am serious. I would have honestly threw myself at the concrete at that moment

Dejan: *slaps his arm, still laughing *

Šime: I realize it was a bit unexpected from the outside but I just had to do it so I don't endanger anyone else's health later

 -Cards break-

Dejan: only two cards?

Host: no there are supposed to be three

Dejan: *looks around, no sign of third card *

Host: lost it on the way huh? It's fine, there can be two

Dejan: alright. Favorite book?

Šime: pfffff

Dejan: *laughs *

Šime: there is no favorite book

Dejan: *laughs harder *

Host: nothing huh?

Šime: no. I know there might be a phase in my life when I will read books, but for now...I just don't have a patience

Dejan: *continous laughter that increases everytime word 'book' is mentioned *

Šime: favorite song?

Dejan: uh. I can't really choose, it depends on a mood *thinks for a moment * but now...let's say from Oliver "Bez tebe"(without you)

Dejan: favorite city?

Šime: Zadar

Šime: now another question that won't be hard to answer. Favorite number?

Dejan: *shurgs * 6

Šime: you didn't really choose some hard questions

 Host: if you had a choose one player from the nt who is really special? Personality wise as well-

Dejan: Broz

Šime, nodding: Definitely Brozović

Host: I keep hearing about him. Maybe people from the outside have the wrong idea about him-

Dejan: wrong idea? No, they have the right idea. Exactly the right idea. The guy is hilarious, but also an amazing player. I cannot believe someone can eat 2 kg of pate, 2 croissant and coca cola before a WC match and just. Run for 15 km. I just don't understand that. And then when you ask him how he says: "pateee" and makes hand gesture to the sky. I really don't understand him. I would need 4 days to recover from eating all that

Šime: yeah his mental state...I don't think there is much of a difference for him when he wakes up in the morning on a normal day or when he about to enter a pitch. But I think when you meet him you are surprised actually. He is actually quite quiet and nice and really smart, with a big heart

Host: and he is honest right?

Šime: yes. There is no doubting for him. He will tell you everything to your face and what you think about that-that's your problem. I think that's great

 *about their lives and interviews from Russia*

Šime: one thing that I specifically remember from videos of our interviews are people trying to read our lips

Dejan: oh god *laughs *

Šime: I remember whispering to Dejan "look that guy is the same Strina

Dejan: the guy really looked identical

Šime: and someone wrote that I said "look at that woman with big boobs"

Dejan: *laughs harder *

Šime: I mean, how do you even read it so badly??

 -Last card break-

Šime: which teammate would you let choose an outfit for your night out?

Dejan: Šime Vrsaljko

Dejan: which teammate would you choose...as a business partner

*they share a look and start laughing, the entire audience joining them

Šime: Well Dejan Lovren, of course

Šime, calming down: alright, alright next question. Which teammate would you choose to-*starts laughing * to-to babysit your child for a few hours?

*everyone burst out laughing *

Dejan: Šime Vrsaljko

Dejan: now, listen to this

Šime, already half laughing: yes?

Dejan: which teammafe would you choose to...change your tire

*both burst out laughing again *

Šime: *catching his breath but still laughing * what-I mean what should I say *laughing again, shrugging * oh fu-

Šime: which teammate would you choose for a gaming partner?

Dejan: *thinking * but you are always playing those video games. Call of duty and stuff. I have to pick Šime again

Šime: well I really sometimes do-

Dejan: sometimes?

Šime: often-and then I tried to get him to start playing-

Dejan: and I did, during lockdown. And he got me into Call of duty. And after 5 hours I say "I am going to bed" and my wife wakes me and she is like "dragi you are shaking "

Šime, laughing: he was shooting!

Dejan: it completely scrambled my brain. So I quit. Stupid video games

Dejan: alright now tell me...who would you choose as a partner in a fight?

Šime: ufff. Well him. I'd choose him for everything. It's a matter of trust. If we were to get into a fight together-

Host: you'd take a punch for him?

Šime: we'd-we'd make it a good fight. Guaranteed

  Host: well guys, that's it. I hope you enjoyed-viewers certainly will. This will be viewed a lot I bet

Šime: it was good. Fun. Although I saw that in some podcasts they drink while answering-

Dejan: where did you see that?

Šime: in podcast. When Goran Bare was a guest they also gave him the-the-

Dejan: so I end up on my knees here? Don't be ridiculous-

Šime: -and we'd open the topics much easier that way

Host: I don't know what your coach would say to that-

Šime: -it's classic art. I am not saying we have to drink here just that I think it's cool

Dejan: *laughing *

Šime: maybe some people are a bit stiff so this would help them relax

Dejan: how do you think we'd be like? How relaxed?

Šime: from 1 to 100? 200

Host: well you gave us a good idea for maybe some future podcasts-

Šime: but I think that would need to happen when there are no football activities involved-

Dejan: I think the chair would be sitting on me and not me on a chair

*both laugh *

Šime: just prepare us two beds here so we can lie down after

Host, turning to the camera: Anyway, dear viewers, we'll stop here for today. I hope you all had fun today, and watch us tomorrow as well