#my only consolation is that soap truly looks amazing in some scenes

[eowynstwin]

Finally finished the damn thing. I kept some notes but they all boil down to one point: the turnaround for this game must have been no more than six months. Nine maximum. And it shows.

I don't even know where to start. The scripting, the pacing, and the entire plot were slapshod. And it's almost as if the game refuses to make sense for the sake of contrarianism; it feels like it would accuse me of being stupid for not getting why everyone likes Rick and Morty. I could evaluate it plot beat for plot beat but I'm on four hours of sleep and frankly? I'd like to move on with my life. This is a demon I've meant to exorcise for months and the damn thing is nearly out of me. So here are my main points.

The script is heavy handed. It's like every line the actors spit out around a mouthful of gravel were written first to be trailer soundbytes and second to be dialogue. No one talks the way these characters talk, not in real life and certainly not in the games they've starred in previously. It's all workable enough, if you're thirteen and playing this game with one hand on the controller and the other around your penis, but for the rest of the population it's pure schlock.

Makarov is a nothing burger of a villain. We are constantly—CONSTANTLY—told how dangerous he is, how competent he, is how brilliant he is, and yet every scene he's in I fail to be compelled. He is the most generic of megalomaniacal idealogues; every villain speech he gives sounds like tumblr dom dirty talk, or maybe reddit whining. I can't help but compare him to Valeria of Modern Warfare 2. In very few scenes, Valeria compels us with the force of her personality; she owns every interaction she inhabits, shows us that she is every bit the bloodthirsty narco we've been told she is. It's easy to believe the she could have accomplished everything she did. Makarov, meanwhile? The most he does is tell everyone how stupid they are and how he's going to win in the end.

Nothing new happens. Makarov is engaging in chemical warfare like MW2019's Barkov. Every gameplay map is lifted from MW2's multiplayer. The ULF is being scapegoated again for terrorism committed by Russian forces. Even Graves and his fucking missiles are in this game. I have the strongest feeling that this game was developed entirely in crunch, with so little time to write it that treading old ground was the only way the writing team could meet their deadlines. The only exception to this is Soap's death, which honestly gave the impression that the writers needed to make SOMETHING dramatic happen, if only to defibrillate an audience that had not been marketed to enough to even be all that interested in this game.

In all I shouted "FUCK OFF" at this game multiple times. I can count on one hand the number of things I liked about this campaign and I really, truly could not tell you what those things are right now because my brain is fried. The result of less than a year of development is an amateurish second draft of a game that I've thought of more than once as a lost orgasm. Briefly, before I spent these five hours watching and reacting (and pausing to take ibuprofen), I considered trying my hand at doing a basic plot rewrite, but it is not. Worth. It.

I stand by what I suggested earlier this year/late last year—the game should have ended with Price's death—but now on the other end of this experience I don't care enough about MW3 to give it that kind of dignity. I'll sign off this review with what I've been saying since the start:

DON'T BUY THESE FUCKING GAMES.

[doof-doofblog]

EastEnders Iconic Episodes:- Max & Stacey

Tuesday 4th August 2020

Good evening everyone! Hope you've all had a good week! I'm back again tonight with another fantastic memorable iconic episode, last night's episode was the 2007 Christmas episode revolving around the Branning family and the affair of Max & Stacey is finally revealed to everyone, in such dramatic nail-biting circumstances! I think this episode will go down in history as one of the most memorable Christmas episodes. This episode was originally aired 25th December 2007!

For those of you who watched Secrets Of The Square on Monday evening, you will know that Jake Wood who plays Max Branning admitted that the Max and Stacey affair was only meant to last 6 months, but the script writers decided to extend the story and make it the Christmas story-line, thank God they did as, to this day, it has remained one of the most iconic and memorable EastEnders moments. 

Wow! So it looks as if the episode has started right at the moment where the affair has been revealed by the video recording. The video has been put into the TV and all the family gathered around have seen and heard everything that has been recorded and heard the words out of Max and Stacey's mouth. Max is stood there looking guilty as sin, dressed as Santa, as his poor wife Tanya and all his children hear about him actually falling in love with Stacey. Telling everyone it's a joke and not to hear a word of it ... although everyone knows that what they're seeing is true! He quickly grabs the remote and stops the video before anything else can be shown, even though that they have seen and heard enough to believe it's true. Bradley is seen seething with rage, Lauren leaves the room clearly fearing that she is going to be the one to blame as it was supposed to be a gift from her to Stacey and Bradley, as you see, before she leaves the room Stacey looks over to her as if to say "What have you recorded?" but obviously, poor Lauren had no idea. 

Max is seriously trying to worm his way out of it, desperately trying to convince them all it was a joke, even looking to Stacey for backup ... looking back now, it's ridiculous for Max to even say that Stacey was going to show Bradley on their honeymoon! Not a very good cover up story! But Tanya knows something isn't right and she's eager for the tape to carry on, she states the fact that the video clearly shows them snogging. Stacey can't even bare to say a word, tears slowly pouring down her cheeks as she realises what has been uncovered, Max is shouting at her, demanding her to tell them all it's a joke. She looks up at Bradley and gently says the words "I'm sorry!" ... that's all she could muster.  Bradley nods his head, knowing that what has been revealed is true, he lashes out at Max - "I'll kill you! I'll kill you, Dad!" - Max goes flying, the Christmas tree goes flying, Jack has to hold Bradley back and Tanya is just distraught, she needs to be away from everyone and leaves the room! 

This whole reveal is the moment where everything breaks down for the Branning family. I do feel for Stacey in a way, because just because of some stupid mistake, she - in a way - is to blame for the breakdown of the Branning family. She was the one who caused them to fall apart, of course Max had his part to play, I guess you could say, if he never cheated on Tanya, none of the issues with the Brannings would've never happened - Lauren's alcoholism, Abi's death, the break down of Max and Tanya to name but a few. The other devastating thing also is how much Abi doted on her Dad, this was most likely, the first time she had ever seen him in a terrible light, where he had done something extremely wrong. Bradley rushes away to let off some steam, little Abi is left watching from the top of the stairs, she asks her Dad, "Do you love Stacey now?" Max completely rubs it off and explains how much he loves her and her siblings and her Mum, he tells her to go upstairs to make sure Lauren is okay and she sweetly wipes away a tear from her face and smiles. It makes me sad that all Abi wanted was to have her family together, forever! She was such a sweet soul! 

Jean is also a sweet soul in this too, sat there with her Christmas hat on from a Christmas cracker, Charlie tells her that they had all leave and she ever so politely says "We can't, we're guests!" She's unsure as to whether what she has seen is real or not, she asks Stacey for reassurance and all she can do is tell her Mum to go home!  Jack is out looking for Bradley, only to find him throwing up in the square, he tries to explain to him that what he's seen could be wrong, it might not be what he thinks it means. Tanya is all over the place, not wanting to be anywhere near Max, she finds Lauren in her bedroom and asks if it was a joke, poor Lauren doesn't know what to say! She has no idea whether what she found was real or not, all she knows is that her Dad told her he loved her Mum. Tanya consoles her daughter and explains it wasn't her fault, she leaves both Abi and Lauren together before she confront them.

That's when it all kicks off, the acting between Jo Joyner and Lacey Turner is brilliant in this scene! Tanya throwing insults at Stacey as she weeps and tries to explain that it meant nothing as was just a horrible fling. Tanya lashes a good slap on Stacey's face, she throws both Max and Stacey out of her house. Stacey begs Sean to stay behind and explain that she's sorry and that she never meant to hurt anyone, as she leaves Sean listens to the living room door and can hear the tape being played again - poor Tanya torturing herself hearing the words a second time as her eyes fill with tears. I have to say for everyone involved in this story, the acting is fantastic! Jo Joyner, Lacey Turner, Jake Wood, Charlie Clements - everyone! The acting and the writing is what makes it so so epic! I can't believe that this Christmas is over 10 years old, it's amazing how moments like this live on in a soap like EastEnders, it's truly an EastEnders classic that made everyone's toes curl. 

It's amazing how an affair can affect so many lives, even Dot is utterly devastated for her grandson, Bradley. If i'm not mistaken, it took a bit of a while for Dot to forgive Stacey for what she had done. I'm a little bit amazed as to why Sean is still there at Tanya's when you'd think he'd need to be there for Stacey more than anyone at that moment in time. I mean, okay, Stacey asked him to stay and explain but he's been left to console Tanya also. She collapses in tears in his arms, asking desperately "What am I going to do?" I guess, in a way of making herself feel better, she starts to kiss Sean, but even he backs away and explains that she is not thinking straight and it'll only make things worse. He tells her calmly that he'll look after her, but she scoffs and tells him leave, she is left in her house with her children upstairs as baby Oscar cries. Meanwhile Jack has taken Bradley to the Vic to get a drink down him to help him consume the information he's been given. Another fantastic scene between Scott Maslen and Jake Wood unravels as Max goes to find Bradley, only to see that Jack found him first. Jack is trying to get his brother to do what's right and acknowledge he's made a huge mistake and he should be looking after his son, Max can't seem to grasp it as he keeps calling his brother "Golden Boy!" he only goes quiet when Jack shouts at him "I'm trying to help you! Whether you like it or not, i'm brother and i'm trying to help you!" He softly explains that Bradley is in a very bad place and he needs to tread lightly if he wants to try and explain to his son and continue to have a bond with him. 

I feel sorry for Bradley also in this episode, he was such a lovely, lovely character. He was one of my favourites when he was in the soap. Bradley and Stacey, for me, were another one of EastEnders iconic couples, it was as if they were meant to be together. Regardless of how many rocks in the road they hit, they would always come back together. When Max finds him in the Vic, drowning his sorrows, it's horrible to watch as he tries to pull away from his father, not wanting to hear a word he has to say. Unfortunately he pulls away too quick and loses his balance and falls, knocking a load of drinks off the bar. Of course, the locals have no idea what's going on, Phil makes a snide dig at him saying he can't hold his booze! Peggy politely asks Max to take him, but then Bradley makes a stand suggesting everyone thinks he's a joke ... which couldn't be further from the truth! He shows the picture of Stacey in his key-ring and claims her to be a slut! Another tremendous moment on the Square is next, when Max is chasing Bradley down the street, them shouting at each other, Bradley trying to get away from his Dad, not willing to hear a word he says! Max is getting incredibly frustrated as he tries to explain himself without letting a word out, he slams onto to car bonnet which causes the alarm to blare. Bradley trips as he goes up toward his front steps, only to then turn and give his Dad a smack in the mouth as he goes to help him up. Max is refusing to give up as he follows Bradley into his apartment, Bradley still inconsolable as he face drips with tears. 

Oh gosh I remember!!! Tanya is left in her house with her children, only the sound of baby Oscar crying can be heard. Her eyes smudged with mascara, she goes into the draw and finds a tub of pills and spills them out onto the floor. I remember seeing this and thinking, "She's not going to top herself, is she?!" If Abi hadn't of walked in at the moment, would Tanya have gone ahead and perhaps maybe try to commit suicide? Who knows? Abi luckily stops her in her tracks before she can swallow any, she soon realises she's making a mistake. She demands her children to pack a bag as she's preparing for them to leave.  Poor Abi, no wonder ended up with some troubles, a broken family, watching her brother die after falling from the Queen Vic roof, watching her Dad slowly recover after being ran over by her sister, almost catching her Mum take an overdose of pills, then having to cope with her sister's alcohol addiction. It didn't hit me until now how much little Abi had been through during her life on the Square. Such a small, yet fantastic little actress ... we watched her grow and bloom on the Square until she sadly passed, near the end its true she did have her demons, but to be honest, wasn't it all about to happen at some point? Didn't we see it coming after everything she had been through? It all makes perfect sense to me now! Lorna Fitzgerald was brilliant as Abi Branning, i'd love to have her back on the Square, still makes me sad to this day that they killed her off. Plus it also saddens me that Max has had two children die of the same circumstances - by falling off the Queen Vic roof! Madness isn't it?! 

Back at Bradley's apartment, Max is finally getting his chance to explain ... even though it's making Bradley sick to his stomach how his Dad could betray him in such a way to sleep with his wife! Wow! Am I right in thinking that the whole Max and Stacey affair lasted a whole year? As in this conversation, Max is explaining that the Christmas before, Stacey came onto him - even when Bradley was thinking about giving it another go with her. It's amazing to think that they had been able to drag this story on for a whole year, perhaps maybe longer! Max is doing everything he can to apologise to his son, without saying the word "Sorry" ... he explains that their fling started before he and Stacey got back together, and when they eventually did she chose Bradley. I love how in this scene, both men are teary - have runny noses, it makes it all feel incredibly real! But that's what makes it so fantastic and so memorable, the reveal, the fights, the aftermath! Max even saying to his son not to give up on his wife, because she loves him and she has a good heart, everything that Bradley knows to be true! Even though he knows Stacey loves him, Bradley can't bare to even be around his Dad right now, even saying to him that he means nothing to him! He's ripped his life apart twice, once as a young boy and now as an adult. Max tries to persuade him to give Stacey another chance, but Bradley just tells him to leave. Meanwhile, unbeknown to Max, Tanya has packed her things - along with Lauren and Abi - and is preparing to leave the Square and Max for good. As he leaves Bradley's apartment he bumps into Stacey, he tells her that he tried his best and it's basically now her turn to have a talk with her husband. They cross each other's path and carry on to each of their spouses, Max gets home to find his daughters waiting at the bottom of the stairs with their luggage and he goes to find Tanya upstairs. 

Meanwhile, Stacey is finally coming face to face with Bradley since the beginning of the episode where she told him she was sorry.  Back at Max and Tanya's, Max finds Tanya with suitcase ready to leave the Square, she tells him that she's leaving him with the kids - once again, raised voices are heard and again, it's young Abi who witnesses her parents fighting, she runs downstairs to be with Lauren and as Max tries to stop Tanya from leaving, he grabs hold of her bags and tugs at them, begging her not to leave, also causing  Tanya to lose her balance and fall backwards down the stairs and end up in a heap on the floor at the bottom of the stairs, much to the horror of their daughters. 

If I'm right in thinking the episode which follows this one, is just as epic! This Christmas episode was basically the start of where everything went wrong for Max and his family, it caused the break down of his marriage, which has lead on to many flings with other Walford women. I truly believe that Tanya will always be the one for Max, she always has and always will be. She was the one who he had children with, to my knowledge, Max has had no other children with anyone else, considering the amount of women he has slept with! Tanya is the only mother of his children, and I believe that will be the only reason he will hold a light for her. It's the same with Stacey and Bradley, much to the sadness of Bradley's tragic death, I truly believe that Stacey won't love anyone as much as she loved Bradley, I feel that they will always be soulmates. 

I've loved re-watching all these epic iconic EastEnders episodes, I'm sure you'll agree they have all been brilliant and very much deserve to be in the list of iconic episodes. I'm not too sure what the next iconic episode will be, but i'm very much looking forward to finding out! I hope you've all enjoyed reading my blog! I can't wait for the soap to be on our screens again very soon! Look after yourself folks and I'll be back again with another post very soon! xXx