#my new year's resolutions gone to shit again | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

daydreamgoddess14 · 2 years ago

Text

Saturday Mornings

MASTERLIST

🤸‍♀️ Well , well, well, didn't take long to get me back on my bullshit, did it? 🤣 I bring you a Roy Kent smutty one shot. Enjoy the gorgeousness of this man 🥵

Roy doesn't have a thing for Phoebe's dance teacher. Until he does. 👀

For @littleesilvia 😘

Saturday Mornings

Saturday morning had always been for Phoebe. From the day she was born, Roy had dedicated every Saturday morning to her. In the first weeks of her birth, he'd let himself into his sister's house and picked up a squawking Phoebe from the moses basket and taken care of her from 6-10 am so his sister could get more sleep. In those early days, he'd spoken to her in his deep, gruff voice while she drifted in and out of sleep. Then they'd go for a walk to the shop, the neighbours peeping into the buggy until Roy had growled at them to "Fuck off and stop gawping at her, she's trying to fucking sleep." As she got a little older, it became cartoons and cereal - devoured together on the sofa, and then a trip to the park. He'd arranged everything for 9 years around his Saturday mornings with Phoebe. Even away matches with a midday kick off didn't stop him, it didn't matter if it was an hour, or five hours - match day or no match day, rain or shine, if he was single or not, Uncle Roy would be there. Their time alone together moved through her swimming lessons phase, gymnastics phase, and morphed into his coaching her kids team. He wanted to be on board with this next phase - really, he did.

After 8 weeks of lessons, he'd finally put his finger on what the problem was. The dancing was nothing new, Phoebe had tried ballet, tap, some weird toddler baby dance shit. 16 weeks ago, she'd switched to some kind of pop/tween dance class with a lovely older woman who mostly sat to one side and pointed to each move, each music transition. It had been great, 8.30-9.30am every Saturday, fucking wonderful. Then 8 weeks ago, that woman had switched classes and you had taken over. You, with your tight Tik Tok leggings and your cropped t-shirt. You who showed the kids each move over and over again. The number of dad's attending the class had suddenly gone up. It had been 6 months since he thought that he and Keeley could try again, but she'd made it clear that that was not the case. He'd been single for longer than 6 months before, sure, but not for a long time. Back then in his younger days, he'd thought nothing of a mutually convenient resolution with a friend until he met his next significant other. He’d come to the conclusion now that he was too fucking old for a friends with benefits situation.

If it was just Saturday mornings that were the problem, he could live with that. He started out by taking a book and ignoring the class completely, but Phoebe did not like that at all. So he switched to audiobooks, brought a pair of fucking ear buds so he could drown out the sound of your voice, your gentle encouragement and the giggles. If it wasn’t the leggings going to tip him over the edge, it was going to be the giggles. Or the praise. Weird, he didn’t realise he had a bit of a praise kink before. Then he heard you in a breathy voice saying something that definitely could apply to situations other than a 9 year olds dance class and nearly had to leave the room. No, it wasn’t just Saturday mornings anymore. You came to mind now at the most inconvenient times. Sitting on the bike while Jamie pulled him along at 5am when shouting at Jamie in the street would have been frowned upon and they instead trained quietly, whenever one of the kids dance routine songs came on the radio and he was forced to relive watching you teach them, at night in the dark when he was alone, in the shower… He absolutely had to stop thinking about you like this. Like you’d see it in his eyes when you waved good morning, or when he held his bank card over your little hand held machine to pay for the classes. He also couldn’t stand the very much married men who flirted so openly with you. Clearly telling their wives at home, no love, I’ll take little… Mabel to dance class, you stay here and have a lie in and a cup of tea.

It was funny how they’d migrated from the later morning class which was run by a woman who had the body shape of a fucking pencil. Beautiful, yeah she wasn’t bad. But she didn’t have the strong thighs you did, the sweeping curve of your hip into a cute little waist. He couldn’t go another week like this. Had to stop now, stop being so pervy. He was no better than the other blokes who came to watch their kids' class. Except he was slightly better, because he was actually single.

“Uncle Roy, we’re here, come on!” Phoebe was already half out of the car. He braced himself for another week of torture.

“Good morning guys! Come in, I’m just getting set up.” You called out from across the room. He was a bit too early really. Not intentionally, of course not. You were still in your hoodie, still setting up the portable speaker and drinking a Costa coffee. You put a song on in the background and he had to hold his breath while you pulled off the warm grey sweater. As it came off, it pulled the baggy cropped t-shirt up as well, exposing your sports bra underneath, the soft skin of your stomach. It was definitely soft whenever he thought about it anyway. You straightened yourself out and sat on the floor, stretching your legs out in front of you and reaching forward to your toes. Phoebe lept out of her seat, threw her coat at Roy and plonked herself down in front of you, mirroring your pose. “Joining me for a warm up Phoebs?”

“It’s important to warm up. My Uncle Roy is a football coach and he says it’s the most important part.”

“He’s not wrong.” You smiled, moving through some other poses and stretches. He was a dead man. This was it. The end, this was how it was going to go. You stretch your arms up as far as you can reach them, stretching out your back with a little pop. He tried to ignore the fucking Grecian vase shape your body made, truly. Until you’d made a noise a little too close to a moan for his liking, followed by, “Holy shit that feels good.”

Fucking hell. Fucking hell .

“Sorry Phebs, didn’t mean to swear.”

“It’s ok. I’ll let you off the first time, but you owe me a pound next time.”

“Aww thanks.” The class soon filled up, he wished he’d taken a seat way at the back, out of the way so he could either look at you without it being so noticeable, or ignore you completely. He totally respected your classes, he really did. It was a tricky thing, conducting an age appropriate class for 9 year olds which avoided sexualising dance moves but also made them feel like they were able to move their bodies how they wanted to. Of course, it’s not always the dance moves themselves which could be seen as sexual, more often it’s the person watching who makes that connotation. And he tried so, so hard not to do that. Tried desperately to not think about how your body would move underneath his, on top of his, the beautiful sounds he could draw from you. He needed to get out, feigned a phone call, holding up his phone as he got to the door so you knew he’d be right outside if Phoebe needed anything. He didn’t think you’d even seen him until you gave him a little thumbs up.

At the end of the class, you encourage the kids to just sit for a minute. You all usually end up sprawled on your backs, not having to make eye contact makes it easier for some of the kids to talk openly if they wanted help or an opinion on something. It was somewhat of an eye opener for the parents as well. This week, you had the kids sit up so they could see you,

“I thought I might take you on a little trip, if you guys fancy it? I was going to go and see the new Barbie film after class next week. If any of you want to come with me, with your grown up - of course - then we could have a really exciting morning! I’m not allowed to take any of you without another grown up though, ok? So you’ll have to check with them first.” You handed each of them a little pink party invite. He already knew before Phoebe asked. Their match next week was on Sunday so he was free all of Saturday morning. He had no excuse to not take her, he also didn’t think he wanted one.

He hoped you were a little bit dumb. It was a horrible thought, he knew that, to wish stupidity on someone. But if there was any chance of him making a full recovery and banishing you to the depths of his mind, never to turn up again - especially not when he was in the shower with his hand around himself, he really fucking hoped that you were dumber than a box of rocks. You weren’t. He already had an inkling of that, but he could still live in hope.

“Fancy the Barbie movie next week?” You’d asked brightly as he’d held out his card to pay, he wasn’t sure if it was the physical and mental turmoil of having to watch you for the last hour, but he thought he could detect a sliver of hope in your voice.

“Fucking probably, she won’t let me say no.” Phoebe held out a hand for her pound. “Add it to my tab.”

And of course, that’s how he found himself in a dark cinema the following week with a gaggle of kids around him. He was still trying to work out if it was a blessing or a curse that he’d ended up sitting next to you - it had certainly earned him glares from one or two of the other grown ups. As you laughed again at another joke aimed to sail just over pre-teen heads, he knew it was a curse. It had to be. Forced to listen to that laugh for two hours? Fucking torture. When you cried, he knew he was done for. He reached over, just a little and patted the back of your hand in comfort. Just a little there, there gesture. You’d only fucking gripped his hand and squeezed it, he stole a glance at you and you’d given him a watery smile and a little lopsided shrug. Then you’d let go of his hand, and turned back to the movie. He had to spend the remaining 45 minutes of the film trying not to think about your warm hands carefully exploring his body.

The following week, he did it.

“Would you like to go for a coffee sometime?” He asked quietly as his card payment went through. He didn’t think you’d heard him until you looked up sharply.

"Aren't you like way out of my league?"

"What league is that then?”

“Well, you're in the ridiculously fit footballer league? Y’know for people who date supermodels and influencers?”

“I wouldn't fucking know about that.”

“I'm sure you would, I'm sure they don’t kick you out once you retire. Once a fit footballer, always a fit footballer? Is that the name of it? The… F. I. T? Or is it just the R.F.F.L?”

“What's that stand for?”

“No idea, it's your league, you tell me. Footballers Into Tits?”

“That’s a shit acronym”

“I know. I can do better, promise. Give me a minute.”

“I'm sure you'd be alright in that league” He said quietly,

“Excuse me? That was very cheeky. Ohh, maybe it could stand for ‘Filthy rich but Impossibly Tedious’?”

“That’s pretty good, definitely suits some footballers I know. Alright, fine. What fucking league are you in, then?”

“Whatever the Conference equivalent of the F.I.T is.”

“Now that can’t be true.”

“Oh yeah? How do you know?”

“I just fucking do. Is it a yes to coffee?”

“I mean, I still think you’re way too high up the F.I.T for me, but sure.”

“It’s the R.F.F.L actually.” He smirks as you hand him a flyer for the class.

“My number is on there.” You tell him, then you’d walked away without taking his number, which meant he was going to have to be the one to contact you first. No, you definitely weren’t dumb. Shit .

This wasn’t supposed to happen. It was a combination of factors really, a busy week at work meant though he’d messaged you quickly, he wasn’t actually able to meet for coffee until the end of the week. So you’d spent all week in a message exchange which had ranged from the sublime to the ridiculous.

“Would you rather fight 100 tiny Jamie Tartt’s or 1 giant one?”

“100 tiny ones. I’d fucking stamp on them all.”

“Figured out what league you’re in.”

“Enlighten me.”

“Champions League.”

“Fuck off am I. I’ve wikipedia’d your dating history mate. Gina Gershon? I think I should cancel coffee now…”

“Fuck, please don’t.”

“Do you always try so hard to look like you’re not looking at dance class?”

“No idea what you’re talking about.”

“Uhuh. Ok.”

“Yes, I do. Every week is torture.”

“Jamie says I’m too old for the R.F.F.L.”

“Maybe that works in my favour. If I’m up against Gina fucking Gershon, I’d have no chance.”

“You’re not up against anyone.”

“I've been thinking about you all morning.”

“Was that flirting? Were you just flirting with me?”

“Shut up. See you later.”

And now… well. Coffee at 3pm on a Friday turned into dinner at 6pm, dessert at 8pm and a nightcap at 10pm in his kitchen. You tapped the edge of your empty tumbler,

“Another?” He asked, leaning against the counter just across from you.

“No, thank you. I should… go.” The lift at the end meant it could have been a statement, could have been a question. He nodded,

“Early class.”

“Yep. I think we lost track of time.”

“Or not,” he offered,

“Or not,” you bit your lip and he felt indecision fluttering in his chest. He pushed off the counter and closed the gap between you both in only one step.

“If I kissed you now, would you be mad?” He asked softly, he could see your body tremble with the breath you took.

“Think I’d be more mad if you didn’t.” He watched you hold his gaze for as long as you could before looking at his mouth. He took the tumbler from you and put it on the counter before placing a careful hand on your hip and leaning down to kiss you. The warm whisky taste of vanilla and honey mingled with the chocolate from your dessert and Roy realised that no, he hadn’t been tortured before, watching you teach a bunch of kids how to dance wasn’t the way he was going to go. This was. Right here in his kitchen with your arms winding around his neck and bringing him as close as you could possibly get him. Your fingers scratching through his hair. He pressed you into the counter,

“I’ve thought about doing this for a long time,” he whispered, kissing down your neck, making you gasp. He pulled away quickly, worried that it was too much too soon, “Shit, sorry, I don’t know what came over me.” He went to move further back to give you space but your hands gripped his shirt to pull him back in,

“Please, I don’t want to stop,” you breathed heavily, “I don’t want you to stop.” You said, more firmly. He was against you again in an instant,

“Sure?” He asked, “You’re sure?” You stepped up to kiss him, making your feelings very clear,

“I’m sure.” Your fingers flew to the buttons of his shirt, undoing the first couple. He pulled you away from the counter, strong arms wrapped around your back and lifted you enough to move you both to the sofa. You stumbled against the cushions, falling backwards and pulling him with you so that he landed heavily on top of you.

"Oof."

“Fuck, sorry. You ok?” He sits back up on his knees, allowing you to automatically move your legs to either side of his and sit up,

“Never better,” his smile catches you off guard, “fuck, you’re gorgeous.” You mumble, reaching for him. The feeling is more than mutual. He needs to feel your kiss again, desperate to feel your skin on his. It’s better than anything he’d spent the last 8 weeks dreaming of. And the sounds you made as his hands and kisses explored your body were enough to drive him insane. He moves further down your body, pulling your skirt down with him and immediately turns to trail kisses and little bites along your inner thigh while his hand reaches up to link fingers with yours.

“Look at me,” he whispered, his breath hot against your hip. The simple request alone made your body turn to liquid against him. He’d spent so long thinking about (denying, debating, ignoring) the effect you had on him, he hadn’t actually considered that you would be just as affected by him. He wasn’t stupid, he knew he looked y’know, alright , for an older bloke. But still, seeing it first hand… seeing it first hand, hearing it first hand, from you was really something else entirely. You tugged his hand to bring up back up to you but he shook his head, his beard catching the sensitive skin of your inner thighs, “busy,” he said, his voice muffled. He focused on nothing but you, losing himself in each gasp, moan and clutch of your hand still holding his. He worked you through one bone-shaking orgasm without stopping, leaving you a shuddering mess as he went straight for another. Looking up at you, he could see the hand that wasn’t clinging onto him had covered your eyes. This time when you squeezed his hand, he made his way back up your body and settled between your legs. “You ok?” he asked, leaving soft kisses on your jaw before finally capturing your mouth in a filthy kiss. You didn’t speak, just shook your head. “You taste fucking incredible.” He kissed you again and you whimpered, finally moving your hand away from your eyes.

“I’ve got a problem.”

“Oh yeah?” He said, moving back to your neck, a hand slipping behind you to unclip your bra.

“Yeah I thought you’d only want a one night thing but that’s impossible now.”

“It was fucking impossible anyway. One night is definitely not enough time.”

“Oh,” you whispered weakly. “Good. Please-, oh fuck,” he caught a nipple lightly between his teeth, “please don’t stop.” So he didn’t, and he never would again if it was up to him. When he’d been (much) younger, he fully grasped the importance and concept of consent. He was a professional footballer - it wasn’t just important, it was crucial. But as he’d gotten older, he finally realised just how much better saying, and hearing, the words made everything. Being able to ask, “may I?” and “I need to hear you say it” and waiting, waiting, waiting, for the breathy response had never left him so wrecked before. He pushed into you in long, slow strokes while you met him with each roll of your hips. When you hold his jaw tightly to bring his gaze to yours, he nearly falls apart but he's determined to get you there first and he knows you're so close. "You feel so good-," you whisper, "So good."

"Fuck, I need-"

"I know, I'm right with you." His name is on you lips as you come and he thinks it's the most beautiful thing he's ever heard. When he joins you, he kisses you with such depth it's like you were made for him. You lay still together for a while as you catch your breath. He keeps his nose in the crook of your neck while his hand softly smooths across your ribs and the side of your breasts. Your legs no longer lock around him, you stretch out and enjoy the weight of his body covering you.

"'M crushing you," he mumbles. His voice so low in your ear makes you shiver and despite you not being ready for another round quite so soon, your hips buck, "Fucking hell, give me a minute," he laughs.

"You're not crushing me, and I'm not ready yet either," you grin into his hairline and kiss his temple.

"Hmm if you say so." He rocks against you, half hard again already, needing to hear the broken little moan that ghosts over his head. "Come on, I want you in a bed this time."

He wasn't happy when you had to tear yourself from his bed at 7am to go home. He wasn't happy when he picked Phoebe up at 8am. He wasn't happy in the drive thru Costa queue at 8.10am. He was happy at 8.20am when he finally got to hand you your coffee and see your smile as you stretched out on the floor of the dance studio. He was perfectly happy knowing that you'd be torturing his Saturday mornings for a while longer.

FIN

#ted lasso #ted lasso fanfiction #ted lasso fic #roy kent #roy kent x reader #roy kent imagine #roy kent smut #roy kent x you #roy kent fic #roy kent fanfiction #roy kent fluff

476 notes · View notes

katyawriteswhump · 1 year ago

Text

364 days later (Steddie holiday drabble)

Written for @steddieholidaydrabbles, day 30/31 prompt, New Year's Eve/Resolutions I AM SO SAD IT IS NEARLY OVER!!!!

When Steve is hurt on New Year’s Eve, he discovers there’s only one person he can truly go home to.

WC: 918 Rating: T CW: off-screen/pre-fic violence including domestic violence. Tags: hurt/comfort, fluff. Established steddie.

Also part of my steve whump fic series (mainly steddie) on ao3

***

“I hadn’t a clue where else to go,” says Steve, an odd tremor in his voice.

Steve hadn’t knocked, hadn’t announced his arrival. Eddie simply opened the trailer door and found him. God knows how long he’s been standing at the bottom of the steps, cradling one arm in the other. It’s dark, but it’s screamingly obvious something’s wrong. Steve’s hair is kinda ruffled for starters.

“I mean, yeah, we have a date later,” Steve rambles, “being New Years Eve and all that crap, and… uh…”

Holy shit! Eddie jumps down to him, freaking out big-time. Blood smears one side of Steve’s face, his lip is bruised, and his harsh breaths cloud the icy air. Eddie wants to hug him tight; instead, he briefly clams up, super-terrified. He’s never seen anybody so robust appear so… brittle.

Gently, he cups the uninjured side of Steve’s face, curves an arm around him. “What the hell happened?”

“I did it, man. Finally. My dad… I, um…”

“Your dad did this?”

“He wishes,” Steve says, snarky.

Eddie seriously can’t fathom whether he’s lying: “Who else, man?”

“Got jumped leaving work, and I… I…” Steve’s wretched laugh crumbles into an even more wretched whimper. Eddie catches him, as his knees buckle.

“Okay, big guy, I gotcha.”

He bundles him inside, sits him on the couch. Steve stares spacily, hugs his arm, rocks himself.

Momentarily, Eddie literally flaps. Then he grabs a chilled beer from the fridge, douses a clean cloth in water. He coaxes Steve into holding the can against his swollen wrist, while Eddie dabs the blood from his face.

“Gonna sting,” warns Eddie. Steve hisses. “Sorry, Stevie.”

“It’s fine. Christ, I’m okay.”

“Not buying that BS today. Not sorry.”

Eddie frowns, concentrating hard. The cut, fortunately, has clotted already. He binds Steve’s wrist with a make-shift bandage. Steve mutters about getting kicked a LOT, when he was curled on the ground, shielding his face. Eddie feels sick, soothingly shushes Steve’s gasps of pain. Possibly as much to comfort himself as Steve. “Look, we should get you to the Med—"

“No way. I’ll fix… Listen, I finally did it,” repeats Steve, as his eyes flutter closed.

“Yeah? Did what exactly, Babe?”

“Carried out my New Year’s resolution.”

***

Steve barely recalls how he got here.

He’d driven around aimlessly. His wrist hurt so bad that he goddamn cried, too far gone to give a shit. He couldn’t think; he was drowning, sucked deep into thick, suffocating waters. Some crazy inner compass drew him to the one place he could pull for the surface.

He found himself outside Eddie’s trailer. Standing there stupidly, hurting and shivering. Not even yelling to be let in. Now, he’s inside and getting warm with Eddie, who asks again what happened.

Crap, does Steve even know?

He honestly couldn’t ID his attackers. Sorta knew why he was attacked, being guilty of so much these days—hanging with geeks, being a king that lost his crown, not to mention his boyfriend being Eddie ‘spawn-of-satan’ Munson.

Then his Dad.

The look he’d given Steve, when Steve arrived home bruised and bloodied.

“He didn’t need to say it,” says Steve, head resting on Eddie’s shoulder. “It was written all over his smug-ass face. You deserve this.”

He’d yelled his butt off about Steve making trouble. Shoved Steve around a bit, knowing he was in no shape to fight back.

“I told him to stick it. Left with basically nothing. Okay, the car, though that technically belongs to him, and… Shit, where am I gonna go?”

His tardy reality check hits like a baseball bat to the gut. Huddled against Eddie, he’s shaking, breaths hitching, hating himself for it. Eddie wraps his other arm across Steve and holds him.

Simply holds him.

And yeah, he calms a little.

“Seriously, don’t sweat it,” says Eddie. “You can stay here till you’ve figured stuff out. Forever, if you need.”

Steve glances up, swipes angrily across his damp cheekbone. “Uh, earth to Eddie? Wayne?”

“He’ll cuss under his breath. And love the heck out of you. Already does. What’s one more overgrown brat?”

“C’mon, he’ll—"

“Look, I’m genuinely blown away. It’s New Year’s Eve and you’ve already nailed your resolution.”

Steve buries his face again, and… Woah! He’s laughing. Eddie’s kickass painkillers are working, or… Screw it, life never sucks so bad when he’s with Eddie.

“Leaving home was last year’s resolution,” he mumbles toward Eddie’s armpit.

“Oh.” Eddie plants a soft kiss on Steve’s hair.

“Yeeeeah. I’m only, like, 364 days late.”

***

Eddie’s still freaking that he should get Steve better help. However, Steve is a dead weight against him, knee curled in Eddie’s lap, and refuses to budge from the circle of Eddie’s arms.

New Year ticks by, lost in a gentle, lingering kiss. Eddie ghosts his thumb, featherlight, down the uninjured side of Steve’s face. Steve scrunches his good hand tightly in Eddie’s hair, deepening the kiss more passionately than—given Steve’s bruises—Eddie dares.

“Happy New Year, Babe,” whispers Eddie, when they break apart. A sneaky smile plays on Steve’s lips. “What?”

“I hit a winning streak,” says Steve, “I’ve smashed this year’s resolution already.”

“Huh?”

“Do I really have to spell it out, dipshit?”

Fixing deep in Steve’s eyes, Eddie’s grin spreads slowly. Dammit, this was going down as the worst and best New Year ever, and sure as heck the most shamefully sappy:

Oh, I get it. Falling in love.

“Back at ya,” he says, and tumbles forward into another kiss.

#steddieholidaydrabbles #steddie #steve x eddie #steve harrington whump #steddie fanfic #stranger things fanfic #steddie fic #steddie ficlet #steve harrington x eddie munson #steve harrington hurt/comfort

102 notes · View notes

cryptid-crow13 · 1 year ago

Text

Sooo I have three finished chapters for the dead on main fic I'm writing. I'm debating on going ahead and posting the first chapter on ao3, but I'm not sure SO

Here's an excerpt from the beginning of chapter one :)

Danny didn’t know what they did to deserve this. They’d gone three years in Gotham without directly interacting with any of the vigilantes. There were a few close calls, but three years! The closest they had gotten before tonight was that time they ran into Red Robin at a corner store buying coffee. They had stared at each other’s exhausted expressions, nodded, and went their separate ways. Now, here Danny was, half out of their window and on the fire escape, staring down at the vigilante (anti-hero? former? crime lord?) that had fallen onto their dumpster before he crashed onto the alley floor.

Danny debated turning around and acting like they didn’t see or hear anything, but they knew they couldn’t do that. Their core and their conscience whined at the thought of leaving an injured vigilante like this. Danny had been about to go out as Reaper, but apparently, they had new plans. They could practically hear Gotham's laughter. They sighed and went back inside. They grabbed their keys and strapped one of their knives to their thigh. They most likely wouldn’t need it, but you never know in Gotham.

When Danny opened the backdoor of their shop, they saw that Red Hood had managed to at least sit himself upright against the dumpster. “Uh, you good?” Danny asked and immediately had a gun aimed at them. They raised their hands and kept their posture relaxed. “Hey, you’re the one that crashed into my dumpster.”

Red Hood kept the gun aimed at them and tried to stand up. He almost dropped the gun when his knee buckled, but he managed to catch himself. “’M fine.” He said and the words came out in a metallic growl.

Danny propped the door open and sighed. “Look, either you pass out here, and then I carry you inside or you let me walk you inside now.”

Hood stared at them for a long moment before he lowered his gun. “You’re the weird mechanic.” He said.

Danny laughed. “Glad to know my reputation precedes me. Now, inside?” They asked as they gestured behind them into the shop. Red Hood nodded and leaned back against the wall to holster his gun. Danny moved closer to him, projecting their movements as much as they could. “Come on, big guy. I don’t trust you won’t pass out as soon as you try to walk again.” Danny said as they moved to support the vigilante’s weight.

“Big guy?” Hood asked absently and Danny felt their cheeks warm a little. They decided to ignore it. Red Hood slowly shifted his weight a bit more onto Danny before he seemed to realize they could actually support him properly. The man smelled like blood, leather, and gunpowder. Danny slowly walked Hood into the repair shop and sat the man down in a chair behind their front desk.

“Stay,” Danny ordered and pointed at Red Hood before they turned and walked into their supply closet. Danny grabbed their large medkit off the shelf and walked back. They nodded when they saw Red Hood had actually stayed in the chair. They knew from personal experience how stubborn vigilantes could be. Danny moved a stool in front of the man and opened the medkit on their desk. “Injuries?” They asked, straight to the point.

Hood hummed. “Took a bat to the knee and probably ripped some stitches.”

Danny squinted their eyes and crossed their arms. They knew that couldn’t be all if the man almost passed out earlier. He must have only been able to walk semi-normally due to experience. Hood stared resolutely at Danny, but eventually he relented.

“I probably have a concussion and had a bullet hit me in my side. It passed through.”

“Shit, you have an open gunshot wound? Why didn’t you tell me that first?” Danny reached out to move the vigilante’s jacket out of the way so they could try to get a look at it. Hood waved their hands off and shrugged off the jacket himself. He kept the guns he had in shoulder holsters. Danny hissed when they saw the red bandages over Hood’s side.

“Stubborn ass vigilantes,” Danny muttered as they turned to go wash their hands.

They heard Hood laugh and groan when it jostled his injuries. “You’re funny, Nightingale.”

“I try. Now,” Danny pulled on gloves, “let me see. I’m not gonna have you pass out from blood loss in my garage.”

Let me know what you think :D

#danny can't help themself and has to help when someone that's injured is almost literally dropped right in front of them #dpxdc #dpxdc fanfic #dead on main #dead on main ship #trans danny phantom #bc its important to me <3 #cryptid crow caws

126 notes · View notes

sammansonn · 1 year ago

Text

my thoughts on dead boy detectives season 1

- the season should have had more episodes we should’ve had more time for characters to develop connections and do a deeper dive into the intimacies of charles and edwin’s friendship

- the special effects were slay at times the pain wraith and the angler fish very very cool

- hate hate hate the romance between crystal and charles actually the biggest problem I have with the show even more than the occasionally shit dialogue (which at least did get better as the season progressed)

- devastated that we won’t have cat king in season 2 he deserves to be forever hope he comes back somehow which his relationship with edwin was again tied up with a perfect bow but ig they just wanted to end his arc here I just think he’s an interesting enough character that they could’ve kept him and his toying of edwin going longer

- the genre of this show was baffling and sometimes too harsh of a shift between scenes

- very funny tho aces on the comedy front they were funny guys

- niko and edwin were SoulMates they were the definition of mlm and wlw solidarity and they were the most important relationship of all

- really though niko and crystal would be a thing big bummer on that side

- still wished edwin hadn’t already confessed his feelings so quickly I want more secret pining!! the not wanting to say anything in fear of ruining your friendship!! like yes it was a very healthy and endearing scene and I love that at the end of the day they’re still best friends but wish that had gone different

- in a perfect world they would’ve gotten at least 15 episodes to flesh out the world and story at a slower pace and season 1 could be about edwin discovering he’s into boys while season 2 can then be about his Specific boy things just felt too rushed at times (and I know part of that is the limitations placed on the showrunners very limited episodes and you have to conclude your season satisfyingly enough due to the high possibility that you don’t get another season so I Get making the ending like that and having all these boxes checked off so if there is a season 2 you can make new boxes to check but some boxes need to be left unchecked!!! at least for a bit everything just felt too perfectly tied up with a bow I would’ve liked to see less of a resolution in regards to the afterlife catching them don’t love that after 30 years they only now get the Perfect solution to their existence)

- want more magic from edwin!!! let him be cool and powerful and scary!!!

- overall though I did have a very good time and all the aspects I didnt like make sense in a way I just don’t like em

- still thinking about those clowns in the first episode what the fuck was that about

#dead boy detectives #edwin payne #charles rowland #crystal palace #niko sasaki

30 notes · View notes

f4rtnite · 4 months ago

Text

New Year's Already? Pt. 2

Bkdk fanfic originally on ao3

2/2 read the first part here: https://www.tumblr.com/f4rtnite/772940861558456320/new-years-already

Once he put on a playlist, he grabbed the brand new drawing tablet that his parents got him, and set it up. Not many people new, but Bakugou had a huge passion for art. When he would draw, it would allow his mind to relax and for once he could be calm.

Bakugoou needed to draw something to be able to test out all the functions of the new tablet. He sketched out his own hero costume. He loved to draw his costume since he came up with every aspect of the design and functionality itself. If he wasn't focused on being a hero, Bakugou would want to be a designer. After an hour, Bakugou had fallen asleep at his desk and stayed there for the rest of the night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bakugou was alone in a car, specifically a parsche, as was driving along a never ending road.

“I can't believe he didn't want to join my agency” Bakugou said in a very angry tone.

“Bakugou, you knew this would happen”

“Shut up Kirishima! It wasn't supposed to be like this!"

“You need to move on! Midoriya has his own life now! You can't expect him to be with you forever just because you want him to! It's too late for that” Kirishima yelled at Bakugou.

“But after everything we'd been through I thought it would work out. It was supposed to me an him not him and that girl!" Bakugou yelled even louder a the car starting moving a little faster.

“Bakugou calm down!" Kirishima tried to have Bakugou get a grip of himself.

“I did everything for him! I thought I was special to him!” The car began to accelerate up to 80 mph

“Bakugou why is the car going faster?"

Bakugou ignored Kirishima and kept pressing the petel harder until eventually, Bakugou was about to crash into a tree and-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bakugou jolted up as he awoke. His breathing became heavy as he looked around his room.

“Holy shit, that was terrifying…" His heart was pounding rapidly

He looked at his alarm clock and noticed it was three am. He took his headphones off and got up from his desk. He went to his bed and tried to get comfortable and hopefully fall asleep again. Unfortunately for him, he was restless for the remainder of the night feeling too frightened from his nightmare from earlier.

Bakugou knew he had to do something about his feelings for Midoriya. He knew that if he waited any longer, it would destroy his mind and make him unable to function. He also started to have a growing fear of his nightmares coming true and he wanted to do whatever he could to stop it from possibly happening. He needed to take Uraraka's advice and just go for it.

One day passed, and then another passed, and then another, until now it was December 31st. Bakugou promised himself that he would achieve his new year's resolution this time and not push it back another year, but it was now the final day of the year and Bakugou wasn't ready. He had gone through 100 different scenarios and possibilities bust he could never bring himself to confront Midoriya.

As Bakugou walked around the class 1A dorms, he came across a flyer for the annual UA new years festival. Throughout the past few weeks Bakugou had been constantly seeing flyers promoting the festival, but he chose to ignore them. He didn't want to constantly be reminded of how close New Year’s was as he knew there were still things he needed to do. This time, he took the time to look at the flyer.

“Come in your finest kimonos, enjoy soba, and good music to start off the new year! Invite your friends, or even a date! Don't forget to watch the sunrise as well. Dec 31 - Jan 2”

A lightbulb suddenly went off in Bakugou’s head as he had the perfect idea. He immediately ran back to his dorm room. He grabbed his phone and opened his messages. He tapped on Midoriya’s contact and stared at it for a moment as he felt a weird feeling in his stomach. Eventually, he slowly built up the courage to type a message.

Bakugou:

“We're going to the new years festival together you damn nerd!”

Midoriya:

“Okay! I was planning on hanging out with you anyways but I'm glad you want to spend time with me :D”

Bakugou:

“I’ll meet you outside your dorm at 7 pm. Don’t keep me waiting!”

Bakugou’s face turned red as he looked at the Messages, “I’ve got a date with Izuku tonight.”

He had a few hours to get ready before meeting up with him so he took the time to make himself look his best. He started off by taking a shower. He also used this as a time to calm his nerves and keep him relaxed. He didn’t want fear to take over him and end up canceling on Midoriya.

Once he was out of the shower, he returned to his dorm room and ensured it was completely clean. He needed to start the new year on the right track, so he made sure his place was spotless. It took him only thirty minutes since he already kept his place clean, and messes aggravated him.

Once the cleaning was done, he needed to pick out his finest kimono to wear. He wasn't sure about which clothes he had brought to his dorm so he needed to check his closet. He opened his closet and luckily for him, he had two different kimonos to choose from. He had one that was a navy blue color and another that was light blue. He chose the darker one since he felt it looked nicer on him. He got dressed quickly and pulled out his phone to check the time.

“It’s only 6 o’clock?! What am I supposed to do for the next two hours?!” He sat down on his bed as he thought of other things he could be doing.

He looked over at his nightstand and noticed that he had some yen lying around. He grabbed it and counted how much there was. “2,000 yen, that’s only enough to buy a few mochi. I could probably just give this away.”

He got up and left his room. He walked around to see if Momo was around since he needed her help. Luck was really on his side today since it didn’t take long to find her. When he arrived in the commons, he saw Momo sitting on the couch while Hagakure was doing her hair.

“Hey Bakugou! I’ve never seen you dress nice before, it makes you look a lot less angry.” Hagakure said as he waved her hand at Bakugou. Unfortunately, no one could tell she was waving.

“What do you mean I’m never angry!” Bakugou yelled sounding extremely angry.

“Very calm indeed,” Momo said sarcastically as she sipped her tea.

“Ponytail,” Bakugou pointed at Momo, “Can you make me an envelope?”

“Her name isn’t ponytail and you know that! Many your resolution should be to call us by our names!” Hagakure yelled at Bakugou.

“I wasn’t talking to you! Anyways ponytail I just need one little envelope,” he held up the cash he was holding, “I plan on gifting this to Eri.”

“That’s so sweet of you Bakugou. If that’s the reason that I would hate to refuse.” She created a little envelope through her hand. It was decorated with a snake pattern on it.

She handed the envelope to Bakugou, “Is this alright?”

Bakugou grabbed it and looked at it, “It’s perfect.”

“Year of the snake. The snake is associated with new beginnings, change, and development. I hope that all of us will be able to grow this year,” Momo said as he took another sip of her tea.

“New beginnings…” Bakugou mumbled to himself as he put the money in the envelope.

“Finished! You look so pretty Yaomomo,” Hagkure held out a mirror in front of her.

“Wow, this looks amazing,” Momo admired herself.

Bakugou was on his way back to his room when he ran into Kaminari and Mineta.

“Hey Kacchan I didn’t know you were going to the festival. Me and Mineta were just heading out”

“Me and Kaminari and gonna get all the ladies tonight,” Mineta and Kaminari smirked

“Neither one of you are gonna get anybody tonight! No girls like you guys!” Bakugou made fun of the two.

“You don’t need to be so mean Kacchan!” Kaminari got closer to Bakugou and lowered his voice. “Between you and me, we’re gonna try and sneak in some sake tonight. We wouldn’t mind sharing it with you once we get a hold of it”

“Oh really? And is there anything else you boys planned on doing?” Aizawa had crept up behind the group and heard what Kaminari had said.

“You guys are idiots!” Bakugou laughed as Kaminari and Mineta tried to convince Aizawa that they were joking.

He eventually made it back into his room with thirty minutes left to spare he used that time to relax for a bit until he got to meet up with Midoriya. As each minute went by, he grew antsy and kept constantly checking the time. By the time it was 6:45, he had enough of waiting and went to Midoriya’s room instead. Once he was there, he knocked on the door aggressively and yelled.

“Deku open the door! I’m tired of waiting!”

Midoriya opened the door, “Kacchan what’s wrong?”

Bakugou stopped yelling once he saw how Midoirya was dressed. He stared in awe as he admired how good Midoriya looked in his kimono. He wore a black hakama with a dark green montsuki haori jacket that complemented his hair perfectly. It was accessoried with a grey haori himo that made his outfit look better. The outfit made Midoriya’s face light up and look cute, leaving Bakugou dumbfounded.

“Kacchan? Kacchan? Why aren't you saying anything?” Midoriya looked at Bakugou with a worried look on his face.

Bakugou snapped out of his gaze and recollected his thoughts, “Shut up Deku I'm fine! Let's just go to this damn festival already!"

“Okay!” Midoriya followed behind Bakugou as they walked to the festival together.

The festival was decorated with new year's pine and bamboo all around everywhere. There were booths that were selling a bunch of different foods and gifts. Jirou and her band were also performing music. From the moment they arrived, Midoriya went on and on rambling about every little detail and for once, Bakugou let him talk without shutting him up.

“We should get some mochi, Kacchan. There are a bunch of booths that have them, but everyone is getting some, so they might run out soon.”

“There’s no way people are that desperate for mochi. There's gonna be enough to last the whole time,” Bakugou exclaimed.

Just as the two approached a booth selling only mochi, they saw a familiar pink figure that students were holding back.

“Wow is there a fight going on?” Midoriya pointed at the commotion.

“I don't know, but we should see what’s going on,” Bakugou had also said as they walked over to try to figure out what was happening.

“Let go of me! I want more mochi!” Uraraka yelled as Momo, Hagakure, and Ashido held her back.

“Uraraka you’ve already bought seven packs of fifteen! You can’t possibly need anymore!” Hagakure yelled as she tried to get through to Uraraka.

“C’mon girl there’s other stuff we can get instead! Lets just keep walking and move on from here! Ashido was holding Uraraka’s arm trying to pull her away.

“Fine! I’ll just have to by more mochi from somewhere else!” Uraraka screamed before finally walking away from the booth.

“Damn, round face loves mochi,” Bakugou said

“Yeah no kidding,” they both laughed as they went to the booth.

Midoriya looked at all the mochi that they had, “Wow, this all looks amazing! No wonder Uraraka was going crazy.”

“Don’t tell me you’re gonna pull some crazy crap like that Deku!”

“Of course not Kacchan!” Midoriya looked at the lady on the booth, “I’ll have one kagami mochi and a small pack of matcha mochi.”

“That will be ¥1500,” the lady said.

Midoriya paid on got his mochi. “I got the matcha for us to eat right now, and we can split the Kagami once it’s New Year's!” Midoriya smiled.

“Why do we have to share?!” Bakugou yelled

“I dunno I just thought you wouldn’t mind Kacchan. I can buy you your own if it really bothers you,” Midoriya’s face softened as he looked a little sad.

“No you damn nerd I was just kidding! Obviously I’d want to share it with you!” Bakugou looked away from Mdioriya as he got embarrassed after realizing what he just said.

Midoriya’s face lit up again, “I’m glad Kacchan.”

“Whatever let's just go get some toshikoshi soba now!”

“Okay! I was getting hungry"

“Yeah, I’m getting hungry to. Hopefully, the lines aren’t too long” Midoriya said as he looked around, trying to see if there were any short lines for food.

“Look that booth over there has no one around it!” Bakugou pointed at the booth.

“Where?” Midoriya said as he looked around confused.

Bakugou sighed, “You idiot.” he grabbed Midoriya’s wrist and ran with him towards the area.

“Kacchan you’re running so fast!”

“Yeah well now we’re the first ones in line thanks to me,” Bakugou smirked. “We’ll take two bowls of soba”

Bakugou and Midoriya were handed there bowls and were now looking for a place to sit.

“Damnit, all these extras took up all the benches," Bakugou said angrily

“Look! Todoroki and Iida are sitting over there. We can sit with them!” Midoriya exclaimed.

“Hell no I'm not sitting with that icy-hot bastard!"

“But Kacchan! We should sit with our friends!"

“Fine! We can sit there!"

Bakugou reluctantly sat down with the other two. The only thing keeping him from throwing a tantrum was the fact that Midoriya looked super happy at the moment.

“What’s with all the empty bowls here?" Bakugou said sounding agrivated.

“Kaminari challenged Todoroki to a contest to see who could eat the most soba. I had to intervene before Kaminari puked from eating too much. It's my duty as class president to make sure nothing gets out of hand.” Iida said in a serious tone.

“So who won?" Midoriya asked.

“I did." Todoroki said as he was slurping down another bowl of soba.

“You addict!" Bakugou yelled

“I like soba." Todoroki said

“I'm so excited for the new year! Did you guys make any resolutions?" Midoriya asked.

“I hope that in the new year I'll be a better leader and to make more wise decisions." Iida said, “I would hate to put my classmates in danger."

“I hope to spend more time with my siblings," Todoroki said as he ate more soba.

“I hope to get stronger and push myself to become a better hero!" Midoriya said.

“Keep dreaming you'll never be better than me!" Bakugou crossed his arms.

“I never said I would, also you don't know that Kacchan!" Midoriya defended himself.

“Just know that I'm going to be number one!” Bakugou pointed at himself.

“Anyways Kacchan what are your resolutions?" Midoriya asked.

Bakugou froze for a moment as he didn't know how to respond. He didn't want to lie to Midoriya but he couldn't be honest with him either. He was too embarrassed to admit that his resolution was to spend more time and date Midoriya, so he needed to think of something else to say.

“Mind your damn business Deku! I'll never tell you!”

A few hours went by and Bakugou and Midoriya spent lots of time together. They walked around, ate mochi, and watched Jirou’s band perform.

There were several area that had TV’s playing the popular New Year’s show Kōhaku Uta Gassen, so the two sat down and watched together for some time.

Since they were spending all of their time together, Bakugou was able to be calm and let some of his true feelings come forward. He went from being angry the moment they walked in, to quiet and relaxed. Every time he saw Midoriya smile at the smallest things, it made Bakugou’s soul happy. They found a spot on a hill to relax and lay down on as they waited for the clock to strike 12. It wasn't until 11:45 when the 107th bell rang.

“Did you hear that Kacchan? The last bell of 2024! The next time the bell rings it will be a brand new year!" Midoriya jumped up in excitement.

“Damn, you're right Izuku.” Bakugou's heart began to race.

Midoriya’s face lit up more than before, “Kacchan, are you already changing before the year has even begun?"

“Huh, what are you talking about?" He looked confused.

“You said my real name!"

Bakugou blushed, “Oh, it just slipped out I guess..”

Midoriya giggled, “You've been acting so weird today."

“No I haven't!” Bakugou's face turned super red.

“Kacchan, what’s with that look on your face?” Midoriya pointed at Bakugou’s face, booping his nose.

“Mind your damn business Izuku, it's just… I wanted to complete my 2024 resolution, but now it's too late.”

“No it's not, you still have a few minutes. What was your resolution?”

Bakugou took a deep breath before speaking, “I wanted to ask you out this year, maybe go on a date too, but it's pointless”

“But you did do that” Midoriya sat up.

“No I didn't, what are you talking about?"

“Well you kinda just asked me out by telling me your resolution, and I would count today as a date”

Bakugou looked away from Izuku, "Shit, I guess I did kinda ask you out just now."

“And I wouldn't mind, I've always loved you Kacchan. Ever since we were little, I knew I always wanted to be by your side. Those feelings used to be platonic, but with the support from others, I've realized that my feelings were romantic.”

“You mean it?" Bakugou's eyes became watery.

“Y’know Kacchan, there's this tradition that the Americans do where they kiss their partners once the clock strikes 12.” He smirked at Bakugou.

Bakugou froze and stared at Midoriya.

Suddenly, the final bell rung, signifying that it was now the new year. Midoriya leaned into Bakugou, and kissed him on the lips. They stayed there for a moment before pulling away.

“I'm sorry Kacchan! I don't know what I was thinking!" Once Midoriya had realized what he had just done, he got super embarrassed and hid his face in his hands.

“You damn nerd," Bakugou chuckled. We have to eat our Kagami mochi now.

“Ah you're right!” Midoriya pulled the mochi out and they both shared it.

“This was the perfect start. This year is going to be great,” Bakugou said.

They fell asleep on the hill for a few hours until it was almost sunrise. Luckily, Midoriya had an alarm to wake him up before the sun did. Many students, some teachers, Midoriya, and Bakugou, all watched the first sunrise of the new year. This signified a fresh start for hope and good fortune, and for the brand new love blooming between the childhood duo.

Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/62285539

#bkdk fic #bnha bkdk #bkdk #mha bkdk #dkbk #bakudeku #bakugou katsuki #mha bakugo katsuki #mha bakugou #izuku midoriya #ao3 fanfic #ao3 writer #ao3 #ao3 link #shoto todoroki

12 notes · View notes

youhideastar · 1 year ago

Text

Deastar’s 5 Most Re-Read Fics of Last Year

My New Year’s resolution was to rec more, so I’m starting with my 5 most re-read fics of the past year!

1 and 2: Blooded Crown and Misethere by Astolat (The Witcher)

Look, I don’t even go here. I’m not even in this fandom. I first read these before the TV show had come out, and let me tell you, it made said TV show very disappointing. But I have re-read these two fics (they’re not related to each other but they’re similar enough that I’ve grouped them together) probably 10 times each over the years. I absolutely fucking love their twisty-ass plots. I love the “what if Wolverine and Machiavelli fell in love” takes on the characters. I love the combination of humor and deadly serious political shit going down. I have a problem and it’s that I can’t stop reading these fics and probably never will.

3: i’ll be your girl by plonk (The Untamed/MDZS, ~30K)

This fic is everything. It’s funny. It will make your heart sore and tender. It has smoking hot sex scene after smoking hot sex scene. It’s pining while fucking (top three trope for me!). It has the absolute most ridiculous premise, and then executes it beyond your wildest dreams, never losing sight of how ridiculous it is. Said premise: Wei Ying seduces Lan Zhan, who he thinks is straight, while dressed up as Britney Spears for Halloween. They continue to hook up, with Wei Ying in a series of themed seasonal drag outfits, while Wei Ying falls in doomed love with a straight guy (or so he thinks), and Lan Zhan tries to figure out what the hell is going on but is too gone on Wei Ying to stop. My all-time comfort object fic.

4: All Old Things Are New Again by The Feels Whale (miscellea) (@thefeelswhale) (The Untamed/MDZS, ~52K)

This fic is WAY too long to be a habitual re-read, but that never stops me. “Full-time necromancer and part-time cam boy, Wei Wuxian, finds himself unexpectedly homeless. An enthusiastic patron comes to his rescue. Conversely: Immortal Cultivator Lan Wangji has been waiting a long time for his deceased husband to be reincarnated again. In retrospect, he should have anticipated that this is how it would go.” It is SO satisfying to watch Wei Wuxian slowly lower his (very reasonably raised!) guard and let Lan Wangji take care of him; in many fics, that trope ends up stripping away Wei Wuxian’s inherent badassery, but not here: this Wei Wuxian is so smart and capable and tough as nails, oooh, I like him so much!!! And it does not hurt that the numerous, exquisite sex scenes feature a delightful blend of (a) my favorite all-time kinks and (b) stuff that is not on my usual menu but that magically rocks my world as applied to these characters in this story.

5. This Tornado Loves You by FeelsForBreakfast (@rabbitcrimes) (The Untamed/MDZS, ~9K)

Want to get way, way up close with Lan Zhan’s brain while he realizes that his ferality about Wei Ying does, in fact, go up to eleven? This is the fic for you. I can’t do better than the author’s own summary: “Hanguang-jun is dating a mild mannered, non-cultivator named Wei Wuxian. The Yiling Laozu rolls up to a nighthunt on a motorbike, no relation at all to the previous statement.” This author’s Lan Zhan/Lan Wangji voice is so fucking good, it makes me mad. And SO FUNNY – I have read these jokes probably a dozen times and they STILL make me laugh out loud. The awesome modern cultivation worldbuilding is so casually done that you sleep on how good it is. Finally, this fic is tagged “you will say ‘Yiling Laozu hot’ or your money back,” and let me tell you: you are NOT getting your money back.

#fic recs

43 notes · View notes

greenplumbboblover · 1 year ago

Text

Happy almost new year!

Yesterday I posted that whole "Top 10 Tumblr posts" but while that was fun to see, I figured I'd go through things I felt was a great accomplishment of this year for me. And some new years resolutions ;)

Accomplishments of 2023:

I made a website!

I know it's tiny and that it's not really great (yet) for getting tons of views, but I do want to thank everyone (I actually typed out all the names but tumblr was being stupid and I couldn't post the post then :/) for either giving it a try or using it. Without you, it would've just been a floating idea with no purpose. :) Thank you so much for believing in it!

I created a new sims story!

Gone a bit back to my original Simblr roots and made a story! Chapter 1 had been in my screenshots folder for over 2 years now, but I was just self-conscious about sharing it. I'm glad I actually got to terms that the only way to know if people will like it, is by sharing it. :)

Came back to Tumblr fully again.

Over those 2 years I hadn't really been on Tumblr much. I'd post my mod posts and that was it. Truth be told, I didn't really have much motivation to do TS3 stuff anymore at that time. But I think in the end I forgot how fun it can be :) I know I suck at interacting with people, though my anxiety often gets the best of me, and I'm genuinely sorry about that! I'm hoping to change that next year with some help.

New Year's resolutions:

I know most people probably didn't get through the whole thing because I type a lot, but if you do, hey there :)

Making Simblr.cc feel more personalized

I feel like currently it feels very download-oriented, which I'd like to keep! But that vibe also seems to be around with the more picture - oriented things. So I just want to make part of that feel more Tumblr-ish where it's just your personalized space. :)

Starting to sell stickers (and such)!

I know, kind of clique thing that everyone seems to be doing now and then, but I have seriously been loving to draw a lot. Though, my creative outlet only seems motivated when I do something for someone/something. So I was hoping to not just sell stickers for SImblr.cc as a donation thing, but also to make some of my own. :)

Finishing LISISV

I never intended to make LISISV like those shows that have been around for 20 years and going on. :p I know most of you do, which I love! But I'm not sure if I will be able to, lol.

I was hoping to rewrite the entirety of "Elly" which I did YEARS ago as a wee 14 year old (till I think, like 16?) but that's all basically teenage cringe IMO :p The concept and the characters however I always adored. So who knows!

Figuring out what to do with Interests & Hobbies

I keep promising that I'll finish it "after this mod" and I honestly do open it up, work on it for a little bit but then I start working on a feature and it... just doesn't work with the mod? However, the more I do that, the more 'bland' the mod becomes. So I don't know what do with it anymore 😅 Anyone who knows please help!

Unless you are all okay with remnants of it, which I'm doing currently :)

Making this space mod I have been wanting to do for a while

Not many people know this about me but i'm a huge sci-fi nerd :p And I wondered how hard it would be to make this “colonizing the a planet” space mod in TS3. Though I know that most people probably wouldn't care about that, since TS3 is more about generational things and... not so much about those things. So, who knows.

I guess I just need to sit down with myself and get my shit together, honestly.

Attempting to actually talk to others.

I don't know how people do it... I honestly want to keep tap of everyone I follow but I get so exhausted, if not, my anxiety starts kicking in because "what if I say the wrong things?" It's not just a tumblr thing though, i've been like that since forever, and maybe should just reach out for help for it. I just don't know.

I just feel as of late that people put great effort into commenting on my things and I'm barely there for them. Yet, just know that I am there, that I do think of you, i'm just deleting my sentences over and over again and just giving up. I'm genuinely sorry about that.

Hopefully your year will be nice and may your wishes come true :

#text post #text #long post #new year resolution #greenie rambles

28 notes · View notes

stellafrin · 4 months ago

Text

It's New Year's Eve and I'm now a year older.

Right, now's the time to talk about future plans? Resolutions? Boastings? Whatever you wanna call it.

I guess I'll start with a retrospective sorta thing tho.

This past year for me feels like nothing and everything has happened.

I didn't end up getting any real progress done on my personal projects past March.

I also ended up starting another extended hiatus after finishing ISaT. I did end up popping back in for October to stream Mouthwashing and Slay the Princess but have since gone back on hiatus for the time being.

Related to why that first hiatus started, I finally got myself a therapist and am also now properly medicated for my ADHD again so I'm able to focus for the first time in ages. But I've been far too focused on IRL stuff to work on any of my projects.

I have atleast been trying to be better at relaxing and not over working myself, neither with my projects nor from DD. (The reason I stopped working on anything in March may or may not be related to the fact that I accidentally burned myself out again... oops.)

Speaking of IRL(ish), back in March I caught myself calling myself by something and a few weeks later decided to start testing it out with friends, about a month ago I decided I'm gonna stick with it for real and started the process to get my name changed!

Unrelated to any of that, for a while I've been watching some shows with friends in a server. We'd have some long running show going once a week (we finished Adventure Time towards the beginning of the year, started DragonBall, around Sep/Oct finished it up and moved onto Z) and people were open to watch some shorter shows whenever.

Back in May, the show that my friend Mizzy decided to share was Madoka Magica, and over those 4 weeks of slowly watching threw this show, I unlocked an ancient love for this series including 2 OCs I had completely and utterly forgotten about. (I need to write down these girls' story at some point, would be a good excuse to try and start drawing again too.)

In the midst of finishing Madoka, my family came back to town for a Con and while here my older sister decided to watch Dungeon Meshi with me and our 2 younger siblings.

After finishing both shows, I needed to watch more...

I decided to go looking to see what anime I had been putting off that could be accessed easily and found that Bocchi the Rock was completely free on Crunchyroll and ended up bingeing the whole show.

Next was Frieren... which I caved and subbed to CR when I realized only the first 3 EN episodes were free (which I had already watched) and I needed more.

I remembered a show that an anime YouTuber I watch recommended earlier in the year so I went to check it out. It was interesting, wouldn't recommended it to anyone without a million caveats tho. (No I won't share it's name, if you already know then you know.)

Around this point was the beginning of the new anime season and I ended up getting into Mayonaka Punch and VTuber Legend at around episode 3, keeping up with them as they aired. (I think the last time I was keeping up with anime live was early pandemic when I was still watching MHA before I dropped it because I was bored.)

I desperately needed to find people who were talking about these shows because the conversation was essentially dead back on twitter, and thus, I got dragged back into using this godforsaken site consistently again for the first time in ages. (The tag system is just so good at keeping track of things and doesn't actively take up space in a post like on twitter, it's perfect for fandom)

It is now too late, I've gotten back into anime/manga. There is no going back.

...

This was supposed to be a retrospective wasn't it?

Like 2/3 of it is anime talk

Fuck

There's gonna be so much shit I need to cut for the bluesky version, fuck

......

Anyway

Future Plans! Resolutions!!! BOASTING!!!!!!

I WILL FINISH MY LOWPOLY 3D MODEL!!!!!!

I have so many cool VTubing mutuals I want to get to know more and possibly be friends with. I will attempt to reach out to people more (crippling social anxiety be damned)

By July I want to be back to streaming atleast once a week and keep it up for atleast 3 months.

I want to stop just being an observer on the sidelines like I have been for ages. I will make something! Wether it be,

Editing down my voice work from the ISaT streams or doing some more voice work for some other characters I think might be fun,

Writing out either my VTubing lore, my pmmm OCs info and story, the Frieren OC I ended up creating after finishing the show, or something related to ancient AU ideas for random fandoms I used to be active on the sidelines of eons ago,

Attempt to start drawing again,

Or even write, script, and edit at least one single video!

...I can't think of anything else... welp time to schedule this and pass the fuck out. I'll figure out how I'll chop this up for bluesky after I'm done working.

#Frin Speaks

3 notes · View notes

dr-spectre · 11 months ago

Text

May I just say that I'm really impressed with the Nintendo Switch, especially after the direct.

Most Nintendo consoles after their halfway point really slow down and pretty much suffer a slow death, they don't get any big games and Nintendo fans just wait in agony for the next Nintendo console.

The Wii barely got anything in its later years aside from Kirby's Return to Dreamland and like... Mario and Sonic at the London 2012 Olympic Games (which is actually a pretty fun minigame collection I recommend it.)

The Wii U..... HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! I mean there was Breath of the Wild but like... who played it on Wii U? Be honest with me here guys. Don't lie.

The Gamecube... nothing. N64... uh... Dr. Mario?

But with the Switch, we're getting a brand new Mario and Luigi title, a new Mario Party with over 110 minigames and a 20 player online mode, a brand new top-down Zelda game with Zelda as the main character, and Metroid Prime 4!!! LIKE... WHAT?!?!

If the Switch can somehow outsell the DS, then I wouldn't be that shocked. Nintendo, despite having one of the most EVIL legal teams in gaming and being an awful fucking company, they still manage to get exclusives and exciting titles out on a consistent basis. Sure there are some sour spots like the Mario sports games and... Nintendo Switch Sports.. ugh. And sure there are lots of overpriced remasters ill give you that but, the quality and consistency of these titles is something that Sony and Microsoft can't even come close to.

I'm not trying to jerk off Nintendo and turn this into a console war thing but, Sony have really dropped the ball on their management and it has gone to shit. Only pumping out hyper realistic giant 30+ hour games that take so much time and money to make. While I do like most of them, I want there to be more variety and more titles. There's a reason why "PS5 has no games" is a meme. And the pc ports of PS5 games after a couple of years of their release are getting really annoying. Once Spider-Man 2 gets on the PC, I won't ever touch my PS5 ever again aside from Astro Bot coming later this year. Im not saying that these games shouldn't be on pc, I'm saying that it's kinda damaging the dedicated fan base of Sony players and they're gonna start moving over to the PC and not want to use their PS5 anymore. The PS5 will not have a legacy like its older brothers. As a person who grew up with a PS2 and PS3, I'm really disappointed with Sony at the moment.

And Microsoft? Well... we'll have to wait and see the quality of those games they announced recently. But you know what? They did have a good showcase, I will admit.

I'm starting to really come around on the Switch and there are SO MANY games to get for it. There's at least one title for everyone and I think that's really cool. It also has so many indie games and retro collections on it too. The Switch has a giant library of old classics from many generations as well as exciting new games that bring new concepts to the table.

If the Switch 2 can continue that momentum while increasing the fidelity to allow for more games to reach 60fps and higher resolutions... then we're in for something really special.

#nintendo direct #nintendo switch #nintendo #super mario #metroid #metroid prime 4 #legend of zelda #princess zelda #nintendo wii #wii u #n64 #sony #playstation #xbox

16 notes · View notes

bellybiologist · 1 year ago

Text

Tallying up the Year

I hope you guys' december (which is almost over already, wtf) is going/has gone well! 2024 is upon us.

This christmas weekend, I mostly found myself thinking about how this year went, and honestly? despite all the things I haven't gotten to do, I still managed to accomplish quite a lot.

Me typing this rambly post out is less anything anyone needs to read, but more to remind myself of Things That Got Done™ than anything else because sometimes... I forget I do be getting shit done! And it's important we remind ourselves of the work we do.

The Things That got Done™

I advocated for my own Health. I scheduled (and went to!) so many doctor and dental appointments this year, holy shit. But, if the last few years have taught me anything, I simply have to put in the effort. I got my colon mostly sorted out, started a new regimen for my skin and hair (after chopping it off) so I'm feeling better, schedule an appointment with the optometrist in January, and even got lots of issues with my teeth fixed. Granted, our broken medical system made it incredibly stressful, and i spent thousands of dollars on the latter that I will be paying off til next july BUT!!!! This section is about the good things.

Started Streaming Again! I've been missing streaming since I stopped way back in I believe 2020. It was a fun way to interact with followers and supporters, so I'm glad I'm back to it on a regular schedule, with many of the old regulars still joining me while I work. Speaking of which:

I finished 43 total stream doodles. While I'm only filling a handful a month, it's definitely adding up! 40+ boys in the span of 5 months is nothing to scoff at, and that's not even considering that I'm doing this alongside normal patreon work.

I finished 39 total commissions this year. I'm definitely still going quite slowly, and I thank everyone who has been extraordinarily patient thus far, but I'm happy to say that my pace has been decent... at least relative to previous years. I got more done in the last 5 months than i did in the roughly year and a half period before 2023!

Replaced SEVERAL appliances that broke down. My computer moniter, my microwave, my refrigerator... all failed on my this year, and it took some work, but I finally managed to get them all replaced! So far, everything is working fine, but next on my agenda is to save up for a new desktop. This one I use for work has been at it since 2017, and it's about time to look into upgrading.

My Google Drive is Looking Nice. It's still not perfect, but I'm still immensely proud of how it's shaping up. There's still some curating of older pieces to do, but I've found a stride where I'm regularly updating it for people to peruse.

=====

Now despite these W's, I still got a long way to go. The things below could be considered resolutions for 2024, but that feels cursed to call them that. They are simply:

Things I Want to GET Done

Adding more YCH Figures. I was definitely expecting to have more to choose from by this point. And I really need to update some of the older ones too, because I think they've aged poorly. I got some neat suggestions and hopefully will find some time this week to showcase them in my discord to collect some feedback before releasing them.

Do more involved pieces/projects. I want to do more things like Comics, or simply pieces that I work on over the course of several sittings, ones where I can experiment and fiddle and practice!!! I rarely ever get to do that these days (I've only finished a few Big Personal Pieces this year), and I need to find time and energy to do them more because those are the things that truly make me feel like I grow as an artist. (and maybe I can find a shading style I actually fucking tolerate.). I also want to get more OC development and stuff done too, cuz I really didn't draw my children a whole lot this year!

Make more fucking Money!!!!! Let's not kid ourselves. I want to get to a point where I'm not just barely meeting the monthly quota. How to get there? I don't know, honestly. Things are so very stacked against artists right now, so it really does feel like the only thing that can be done is Not Give Up. Which I won't do. If/when I go down, I'm making it everyone else's problem. Trust. 😏

Save up to Visit the Boyfriend. I haven't seen him since January 2022! Big goal is to be comfortable enough to where I can fly my ass up there and smooch him. 👏🏽

======

I won't lie, i'm going into 2024 quite anxious and still scraping by by the skin of my teeth (that I'm still paying for). It's going to be a BIG year cuz oh boy, it's election year, there's plenty of family developments i gotta keep an eye on and work to be a part of... not to mention all the horrible stuff going on still (free palestine!).

Here's hoping shit goes our way this coming year! And let's get ,more strikes going so everyone is getting their fucking money!!! :V

#verzi rambles #god 2024 is a BIG year for lots of reasons

12 notes · View notes

hotforharrison · 1 year ago

Text

I've been exclusively posting new Harrison content and nothing about me personally for quite some time now, but I just kind of wanted to... talk to the void, I guess. It's been rough lately.

The end of December leading up to the shit show that was my birthday on New Year's Eve, and now into 2024, has not shown me any kindness.

Seeing my husband happily in love with his girlfriend while our marriage spirals around the drain into divorce has been really difficult, one of the hardest things I've gone through in my life.

He says that he wants to work things out and have both of us, which is what I want as well, but his actions speak differently most of the time.

She lives nearby and gets surprise cookies and hugs when she's feeling sad. On multiple occasions, I've gotten left alone in my room in tears.

They talk on the phone more in a single day than he and I did in the entire two weeks I was visiting my family out of state for my high school reunion.

I want so much to be in love and happy again, which I haven't been in quite some time. I'm not sure that it's going to happen with him as much as I want it to. I usually feel like we're on a sinking boat, and I'm trying to use a cup to throw out water to try desperately to keep it afloat, even though it's ultimately futile.

As per the marriage counselor's suggestion, we're being more intentional about our time together, like we're dating again.

Although I'm unable to leave the house right now for anything that isn't absolutely essential (I'll get to that in a minute), we've been having movie nights every Wednesday with phones put away and paying attention to the movie and each other.

We haven't done anything "special" together as a couple in what's honestly been years, and we're going to go to either Kemah Boardwalk or Galveston hopefully the week of April 15, depending on whether it's safe for me to walk that much at that point.

I'm not holding my breath that it's going to ultimately help us reconnect enough to improve things, but I'm hoping it's a step in the right direction of getting there.

We've been polyamorous since 2015, but I haven't dated or been looking for someone to date since 2016, or even just hook up with for that matter. My husband has had a number of girlfriends and partners over the years, which I'm completely fine with.

It's been a sort of mono-poly relationship for the past almost 8 years, but entirely by my own choosing. He didn't influence that at all and actually encouraged me to date again if it's what I wanted to do.

And I am going to go down that rabbit hole hopefully later this year, which is very nerve-wracking.

I know it's absolutely not a requirement for dating, and shallow people who would only date someone who is under a certain weight aren't great partners, but I want to lose a lot of weight before I start looking again. It will help me feel better about myself, and self-confidence is an attractive quality.

Right now, I honestly don't even want to be undressed in front of my husband who I started dating in 2007, so him seeing me undressed is nothing new. I view myself as "fat and disgusting," even though I've known women who weigh as much or more than I do right now who were very attractive and had no trouble dating.

My husband said I carry the weight very well and don't need to be down to some arbitrary number that I come up with to date again, which I wanted to be under 200. He asked how much I weighed when we started dating. I weighed around 260 then, and I understood his point.

I started actively trying to lose weight on September 22 of last year, because there's no reason to wait until some specific date like a New Year's resolution. September 22 was as good a day as any.

I was about 12 lbs shy of my highest weight ever, which was 352.8 lbs, at 340.6. As of January 16, I'd lost over 30 lbs since the end of September and weighed in at 307.1. I'm 5'9, so a tall girly, and my tentative goal is 175. It's subject to change based on my desired goal clothing size, which is a 10. (I don't want to stop shopping at Torrid, and they go down to a 10 at the lowest.)

Anyway, I broke my right leg and severely sprained my left ankle when I fell in a parking lot the day before Thanksgiving in 2022, which halted my weight loss efforts in 2022 and led to me regaining most of the weight I'd lost then.

The amount of damage I did to myself from just falling in a parking lot was pretty impressive. Ironically, I did not break the glass bottles of hard cider I was carrying, only myself.

The broken leg healed perfectly over the course of a few months or so, but because I still had to use the other leg as my main weight bearing side, it didn't get to properly heal like it should have. My sprained ankle's ligaments were very loose. The ankle kept collapsing over the course of 2023, through a round of physical therapy, and I just kept spraining my ankle over and over again whenever I tried to do more demanding things like working out. Being more active is very important to weight loss and health, so it was really frustrating.

Eventually, after trying to work out one too many times and foolishly not allowing the injury enough time to "heal," (and I use the term "heal" loosely because it never actually did and just became increasingly damaged) I ended up in putting myself into an immobilizing boot full time because of the collapsing extending itself into normal walking.

The first round of physical therapy made no difference, and I did a consultation with a different physical therapy place to see what they said. After going over my situation and having an assessment of my ankle with the physical therapist, I asked if he were in my shoes what he would choose to do. He said that if it were him, he'd do the surgery and follow it up with physical therapy to regain strength and balance.

So I had the surgery to fix it once and for all on January 19. (I was hoping to have the surgery ASAP, but couldn't do it in December like I originally hoped. My insurance was changing in January.)

The injury was apparently worse than the doctor initially thought it was, and I haven't been able to put any weight at all on it since then. I had been very much hoping to be able to put some weight on it again at my 3 week follow up, but no dice. I've been stuck exclusively on a knee scooter cart and crutches for over 5 weeks now. It's been such a struggle, in so many ways.

I've left the house literally 3 times since I got home after the surgery. Two follow up appointments with the foot and ankle doctor, and an interesting session of marriage counseling while I was drugged out of my mind on prescription painkillers. I honestly don't remember much of it, or that week in general. I was very happy to transition to ibuprofen and acetaminophen after the first week post-op.

I haven't been able to weigh myself since my last weigh in before the surgery on January 16, which is taking a very, very heavy toll on me and my mental health.

I've been having recurring nightmares about getting back on the scale and weighing more than I ever have in my life -- like 70+ lbs more than I did when I last weighed myself in January. I know rationally that I've actually lost weight and am very likely under 300 lbs now, but there's still this deep, nauseating fear that I'm wrong and weigh more than I ever did.

My husband assures me that he can tell that I've lost weight, but it doesn't feel real to me with my skewed perception -- like my brain tells me that the clothes that fit differently were obviously messed up while they were being washed and just ended up stretched out somehow.

I took measurements of my body when I started losing weight in September, and as of a week or so ago, I've lost 7" in my bust and hips and 5" in my waist. My brain tries to convince me that I just measured myself wrong in September, like I could somehow measure myself wrong with over 7" of difference with the exact same tape measure.

It makes no logical sense.

I have another follow up appointment with the foot and ankle doctor on Monday morning and get to find out if I can put weight on my left leg again after some x-rays to check my healing progress. (That makes me nervous because I still have some prominent bruises on one of my thighs that I had on January 20. They've gone from purple to brown, but they're still very obvious. It's supposed to take 2 weeks for bruises to go away. Not 5+.)

I really don't know that I can handle having to wait even longer to weigh myself again and start the process of getting back to walking and eventually working out.

I want so desperately to be able to make progress toward my goals instead of just miserably stagnating here.

I want to lose the weight. I want to be healthier. I want to feel better about myself. I want to have the chance to finally figure out things with my husband, even if the conclusion we ultimately come to isn't what I'm hoping for. I want to find a nice guy to date. I just want to move forward, actually live my life.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk, I guess?

7 notes · View notes

blametheeditor · 1 year ago

Text

A New Year

Run Down: To continue the tradition, a special New Year drabble to kick off 2024, curtesy of Scott

Content Warnings: Cursing, mentions of death, mentions of treating people as lesser than, mentions of fireworks and the fear of fireworks

Happy New Year!

_______________

Scott wanted to see the new year countdown.

At first, the thought made him jolt, admittedly startled by it. Because he hadn’t wanted to ‘do’ anything for years. He didn’t think too much of it, though. Easily brushed it aside to forget about it.

Yet it appeared again about a week later. At least this time it wasn’t as random and because he heard someone talking about new year resolutions, but it still made him jump again. Wary of it.

Yes, he knows he’s paranoid. Just because he has a desire doesn’t mean Afton knows he does. Or anyone for that matter. And this wasn’t something that would automatically warrant punishment.

...actually, what was he afraid of?

If he was being honest with himself, Afton wouldn’t care. Having Scott stay up until midnight doing reports wasn’t uncommon, not in the slightest. Nor was giving him a task that required going to the restaurants early in the morning despite giving such an assignment the night prior. Therefore if Scott did stay awake, he’d only really be hurting himself. So being worried about what Afton would say or do is out of the question.

Maybe it’s because of the fact he lives near a giant neighborhood. That’s certainly a reason to not step foot out of his house until every firework has gone off. He can’t light his own in the street, because that would need to be done after the sun set, and give plenty of time for a fountain the size of his house to be lit much too close. Risking his hearing and his sanity.

But even then, there are parks holding events that are meant to be human and giant friendly. Honestly it pissed Scott off that there are fireworks that can be lit that are giant-sized but extremely human friendly. As in won’t make them go deaf. Not to mention numerous spots for giants to go to light the ones that aren’t.

That would mean he has to go somewhere, however. Still risk his hearing if he gets back home and some teenager is still going through a mountain of screamers despite it being an hour after midnight. Sit on a patch of grass to watch a large clock slowly tick the seconds down while a giant could easily step beside him and possibly never know he was there in the first place. Watch the firework show that could take who knows how long and still make him wince from the noise because they’ll always boom because that’s just what they do.

It’d be a hassle, and he’d be alone, and what is there to-

Well, Scott figured out why he was fighting it.

So he thoroughly crumpled up the idea before burning it to ashes inside of his mind. Not wanting to think about how, no matter what year it is, he’ll always be right where he was the previous one. Nothing was ever going to change. Why would that be something he celebrates.

Of course, he forgot about what was different this year. The one they’re still in for a few more days. One that is quite dramatic in reminding him as a shoe steps directly in front of him.

“Hey, Phone Guy.”

Scott tilts his head back in order to meet Mike’s smirk tens of feet above him. One he could never find in himself to truly be afraid of despite being unable to stand the thought of being inside a giant’s hand.

He whacks at the shoe to say hello. “Are you being kept a little longer to cover for the day guard?”

“No, my ass was waiting for yours,” Mike begins. The giant then kneels down, Scott being treated with the feeling of the sky falling as he takes a few respectful steps back. “Jerber wants to fuck shit up on New Years. Want to goddamn join?”

If it had been anyone else, Scott would’ve declined. Either assuming it was a prank or knowing something would happen, but this is Mike. The one guard who looked for him in the back rooms. Who appreciated his Godawful tapes rather than despising him for them.

But while Mike would have no ill-intent, nor Jeremy for that matter, he’s guaranteed not the only one being invited. “Who else is joining?”

The giant shrugs. “We’re asking every asshole and using Jerber’s puppy eyes to get the bastards to come. But you can fucking stay with me, Phone Guy.”

He can trust that promise. And this is one of the few giants he trusts with his life. And...maybe he should go to watch the countdown.

“Count me in.”

“Hell yeah. Meet us here two goddamn hours before shit explodes.”

Scott smiles as he shakes his head fondly. Watches the giant stretch back into the air before making his way out the door to head home. Leaving the older man feeling like he made the wrong choice. Because there’s no telling what could happen.

But he doesn’t text Jeremy plans had changed. Doesn’t think about how he deliberately dressed in warm clothes for the first time that winter as he walks to Freddy Fazbear’s.

Feels himself tense up when he sees David of all people walking toward the restaurant. Becomes a little less tense when he spots a certain redheaded figure clinging to the top of the business man’s suit pocket.

“Hi, Scott!” Fritz waves.

David raises an eyebrow as he searches the ground, eyes widening when he finally spots Scott. “Well look who William finally allowed to have a night off.”

Surprisingly, the dab doesn’t upset him. Maybe it’s because he’s gotten used to it over the several months since David had been hired. Maybe it’s because Eggs suddenly flings himself at the older man, almost making both of them fall to the ground.

“Scott, you made it!” The blond then shoots a sneer up at David. “That’s a hundred bucks, Harrison!”

“I’ll hand it over later.”

“Sore loser.”

“Did Eggs win a bet over Scott joining us?” James asks before Scott can snap at both of them. Instead he’s forced to look up over his shoulder at the doctor looking thoroughly amused.

“Do not encourage them.”

“I would’ve bet with him, but he didn’t want to share the winning pot.”

This was a terrible idea. Watching the countdown with Mike and Jeremy is one thing, but having all of the guards join? Especially when James tends to match Eggs’ energy when there isn’t an emergency? David automatically assuming he wouldn’t be joining?

Scott feels the heat before he sees the hand, but it’s unmistakable. He can’t scream, though, the sound lodged in his throat. He’s too panicked to realize Eggs isn’t with him, set on struggling so he’s let go.

“Hey, Phone Guy.”

Just like that he goes limp at Mike’s voice being the one that rumbles through his very core. He’s still terrified wants to tell the younger man to let him go, but he’s no longer fighting for his life. Stares up at blue eyes and a genuine smile.

“Sorry, asshole, don’t know how to fucking get you up to my shoulder.”

Scott doesn’t protest as the hand does exactly that, moving toward the giant and where Jeremy sits huddled against the man’s neck, the stuttering guard extending his arms out as fingers carefully maneuver until they’re in place.

Before the hand can fully retreat, he whacks at the nearest finger as hard as he can, hissing when the giant’s body heat burns his skin without any barrier. “Michael!”

“I’m sorry, asshole move.”

“Sc-Sc-Scott,” Jeremy murmurs before he can continue on giving the giant a piece of his mind, forcing him to focus on the kid watching him with worry. “You’re c-c-c-cold.”

He doesn’t correct the reason on why he’s trembling, not wanting anyone to know just how genuinely terrified he was at being grabbed. Didn’t want them to know his ‘look don’t touch’ rule is due to much more than just demanding respect.

“I’ll, uh, w-warm up soon,” is all he can say as he moves closer to Jeremy. Needing to ground himself. A bit overwhelmed by the heat surrounding him all because he’s sitting on Mike’s shoulder.

Scott freezes when he realizes everyone’s watching him, forcing a glare until Mike turns so he can’t see them anymore, cursing under his breath when he feels the footsteps jostling him. “Let’s go, assholes!”

“Hang on!” David exclaims as he quickly matches Mike’s pace, Scott moving closer to Jeremy as the taller giant looks down at them. “You let the Fucked Up Night Guard pick you up?”

“No,” Scott immediately responds. “That was the first time he pulled something like that. And the last.”

“It’s not a right of passage?” James pipes up from what sounds like Mike’s right side.

“I thought it was,” Eggs agrees.

“It is not a right of passage!”

Scott doesn’t care if he sounds or looks like a toddler having a tantrum as he refuses to look anywhere but ahead. Arms crossed and mouth sealed. He will not have them thinking being able to pick him up is some perk that you get once you’ve worked under Afton long enough.

He does glance up at Mike when the shoulder deliberately shrugs, leaving him falling into Jeremy as the kid squeaks as he falls against the giant’s neck. “Sorry, Phone Guy. That was fucked up, I should’ve asked.”

Scott hesitates before sighing. “I forgive you, Michael.”

“So if I-?”

“No.”

There’s no more discussion on the subject of picking him up thank God, but despite the rocky beginning to the night, it’s...nice. Listening to the others bicker. Eggs demanding David starts carrying human sized cash around. David shooting back Eggs can’t carry around giant sized cash so why should he. The blond nearly getting swiped off James’ shoulder at the comment the business man rarely wins a bet.

Scott notices Jeremy somehow managed to fall asleep when he jolts awake at Mike announcing ‘we’re here’.

‘Here’ is a park that’s not nearly as busy as he thought. With a cheap clock what hadn’t seen the light of day for an entire year ticking down where it was assembled at the top of a hill. Distinct sections made for giants and humans to ensure no one would get hurt even with the light poles barely being able to combat against the dark.

“Fritz, I will never forgive you for dragging me here.”

“Dude, can we roll down the hill!”

David sighs long and hard as Fritz immediately perks up from Eggs’ suggestion. But then Scott’s turned to. “Well, what’s the plan?”

It was Mike and Jeremy who invited everyone, but they remain silent when it becomes clear he has the final say. Even James moves so he can hear the eldest, Eggs looking like he’ll jump off the doctor’s shoulder at any second.

“Mike, what’s a good spot?”

The giant immediately makes his way over to a vacant table bolted into the ground near the base of the hill. It takes Scott a moment to notice the grass is incredibly short around it despite being meant for giants, meaning no human was going to get lost in it. And the table itself is one solid piece, no large spaces capable of falling through.

David only glares at it before sitting down, scooping Fritz out of his pocket in order to free the redhead into the grass unable to swallow him whole. “I expect you to not die by Eggs’ stupidity.”

“Bold of you to assume he hasn’t already,” Eggs taunts as James helps him to the ground.

“Don’t worry, Scott,” the doctor grins. “I’ll keep an eye on them.”

That did make him feel better. Even though they are fairly safe here. Scott never visited the hybrid park previous to tonight, but with a light pole shining directly overhead and this clearly having been built and maintained for both sizes, he wouldn’t have required a giant’s supervision.

He does eye Mike’s offered hand with suspicion as it waits palm up next to his occupied shoulder. Jeremy doesn’t hesitate to carefully stand up from where he was huddled, slowly climbing into the hand before looking up at Scott. “Are y-you coming?”

“Don’t move, Michael.”

The giant hums in agreement. Scott sighs before slowly stepping down beside Jeremy. Clenches his fists tightly as vertigo makes his stomach drop as they’re lowered onto the table. He couldn’t get off fast enough, panting slightly at the fear from such a sensation throwing him back to a life he only remembered glimpses of.

Bristles when he sees David watching him. “What?”

“You’re one of the strangest humans I have met,” the business man comments.

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Scott grumbles.

That earns him a shrug. “I wouldn’t, but you’re all dumbasses, so I should’ve expected it.”

“So why the fuck do fireworks explode and shit?”

“The one time you ask a good question.”

Scott jumps as Jeremy suddenly latches onto him, looking down at the kid in concern as he shivers violently. “How do you survive, Jeremy?”

“D-D-D-Don't kn-know.”

It’s the one time he allows Mike to wrap a hand around him in order to help keep the cold night air away. It’s still suffocating, and Scott has to move a little so he’s not pressed against the burning skin, layers of protection unable to be foolproof. But Jeremy finally warms up enough that the shivers die down. Squeaks when Eggs and Fritz suddenly appear in order to join them.

“Do not roll down a hill at night. Grass is covered in dew.”

“We could’ve told you that.”

“Well James didn’t warn us!”

Said doctor only gives a knowing smile. “You have three giants-”

“Like I’m helping them.”

��-two giants who would be willing to help you dry off and stay warm afterwards.”

Isn’t that a weird thought. One Scott can’t shake at the idea of a giant being an alley instead of an obstacle. He used to rely on Vincent, used to be overjoyed by the fact a towering being was by his side, but that was years ago.

And it was something he would never get back. A life that is long gone.

...yet here he is, huddled with three other humans absorbing the heat of a giant who hasn’t once poked at them or swept them up without warning. Content to just act as a barrier between the cold wind and any other giant who would grab them without warning. Not in any way alone as he watches the seconds slowly tick down from 3, 2, 1.

Scott braces himself as the first firework appears in the sky, holding his breath as the line of smoke disappears before exploding.

...it sounded like a human sized firework.

He looks up in the sky. Stares at the colorful display much too big for him to fully comprehend. A picture he can’t see all of at once. Clearly made for giants, but it didn’t make the very ground shake or his ears burst.

He realizes his hand holding Fritz’s might’ve been a bit too tight, his knuckles white. But the minute he slowly lets go to ensure he doesn’t cut off the poor redhead’s circulation, his hand is gripped tighter. “D-Don’t let go. Please.”

Scott pulls the teenager into a full hug as Eggs and Jeremy huddle in closer. And with each boom he relaxes more and more that the world won’t shatter around him. For the first time in about twenty years able to just enjoy the spectacle. Not needing to huddle under ten blankets at home as he wore earplugs and praying it’s enough.

“I might prefer these better,” David murmurs, sounding like he’s upset to admit it.

“It’d certainly keep the ER from overflowing if these were more commonplace,” James agrees.

For Scott, it means he doesn’t start the year absolutely terrified. That instead of thinking the next day will never come, he’s enjoying the midnight sky lighting up with reds, and oranges, and purples. For once not despising something that’s meant to celebrate another year gone, and another one about to begin.

He almost feels ready for what’s going to come next.

“S-S-Sounds l-l-like a good start for a new y-y-y-year,” Jeremy whispers.

...it does, doesn’t it?

#Happy New Year!#my best friend said we needed a special New Year story for the bois and I couldn't help but agree #was definitely a nice semi-short story to write #don'ttelltheeditor #hope you enjoy it!#have a great day!#FNAF bois #g/t #giant #tiny #BTE writing #cw #content warning

5 notes · View notes

siriuslysatorusimping · 1 year ago

Note

hi kiko happy new year! hope you have a wonderful year!!

i have a question, what's your process when writing gokudo? cause i think i saw you once say you fact check some things (i have terrible memory i could be wrong). and is it harder than anything else you have written?

Hi, sweet Anon! Happy New Year! Mine is okay so far, I hope yours is as well!

My writing process for Gokudō?

C H A O S.

Confusion. Hatred. Anger. Overthinking. Sobbing. 😂😂😂😂

Frustrated groans. Random googling. ADHD research spirals looking up completely unimportant, tiny details and then losing my writing groove because of it 😭 Second-guessing my plot decisions and wondering if what I have is just shit 🙃🫠

Honestly, though, it has been harder than a lot of the other things I've written. The primary reason is that it's a world I'm completely unfamiliar with. I'm very familiar with (US)academia and mental health, which makes Physical Paradox a bit easier to write in some aspects. Another Level had a guidebook of sorts to work with, which made it easier to know where I was going.

Gokudō is difficult because I honestly didn't know where I was really going with it for a while. I didn't have an end goal figured out for a while, and while I've figured some of these details out, I'm still struggling. Determining the primary conflict, figuring resolutions, figuring out how dark I want to go, all of those are difficult decisions. On top of the fact that I don't know a lot about Yakuza. And my autistic ass hates inaccuracies in writing, so I've done as much research as I can. But I will be taking some liberties with how things work with the syndicates in Gokudō simply because I can't make everything perfectly accurate, as much as I would like to.

I've done a bit of research about irezumi, clan structure, and a few other things. Honestly, how they interact with law enforcement is gonna be pretty inaccurate because it's kinda the least of their concerns compared to the issues they're facing. And the fact that Gojo faced no legal repercussions after he killed a few hundred people when he was twenty? That boy would have definitely gone to jail for life lol.

Thank you for your question!! And again, I hope your year is going well so far!

(I cannot believe it's 2024. This isn't fucking real)

#gokudō ask #gokudō #goinko yakuza au #gojo satoru fanfic #sweet asks #sweet anons

4 notes · View notes

callunavulgari · 1 year ago

Text

Year In Life | 2023

Or that annual New Year’s meme where I talk about what the year was like to live through. 2023 features: a wedding (!!!), four (??) different trips (including the ridiculous two week long honeymoon in the PNW), and the death of a loved one.

1. What did you do in 2023 that you’d never done before? Took a trip to DC to see Joe Hisaishi live! Saw the natural history museum! Visited the PNW and saw: Mt Rainier, the redwoods, the most northwestern point of the US, Seattle, the Hoh rainforest including the Hall of Mosses, Lake Crescent, Forks, Crater Lake, Portland, the remnants of wildfires, a little place called Wild Pear with the best butternut squash soup I've had in my entire life, another little place that I can't remember the name of but had a sherpa stew that will warm my soul until death, and San Francisco! Saw the ghoul boys for Ghost Files Live! Went back to Vegas and saw U2 in the sphere! Planned a wedding! Had a bachelorette weekend! Oh, and yeah, GOT MARRIED!!!!!!!

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year? My resolution for 2023 was to be HAPPY. And you know what? I fucking was. Other than the INTENSE anxiety of planning the wedding, 2023 treated me gently. My wedding day was singlehandedly the most blissful day of my entire life. I thought it was going to be a shit show, but goddamn if it wasn't perfect. So YES, I kept my new years resolution. And yes, I will make more for next year.

Resolutions for 2024 - Be happy and healthy. Eat good food. Doordash less, cook more. Exercise. Go on daily walks, even if they're short. Get dressed (almost) every day. Brush your teeth. Write 50k of sad ghost girl (or another original idea). Attend a pottery class. Also, cough, buy a house?

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? I don't think so? A couple facebook friends. One of my bridesmaids is due next year though.

4. Did anyone close to you die? My grandmother passed this year on the last day of our honeymoon. I got the news on a beach in San Francisco. My dad texted me a time of death. I was fine emotionally for the most part at first, she's had dementia for seven years and I'd said my goodbyes the last time that we visited. I was fine. FINE. And then Nick, thirteen days my husband, twelve years my partner, tentatively asked if I wanted to buy some flowers and toss them in the bay.

I cried. Not hard. But it broke something loose, something that saw the beauty of that place- waves lapping against the shores, the golden gate bridge looming in the distance, two little boys making sandcastles while a guy with a saxophone played for tourists closer to the street. I wanted to scream. As loudly as I could. Just to see if it would make a difference. I didn't. I wept quietly, shielded by my sunglasses, Nick holding my hand next to me and stared out at a bay that she'd never seen before, that she never would.

And then I shook my shoulders out and we went to go meet up for the sunset sail on the bay, which I'd booked since it was our last night. Something special. I didn't want to miss it, not on our last night. It was pretty, but bitterly cold because fog moved in when we neared Alcatraz and just wouldn't quit. The sunset was lovely. I was queasy from the rocking of the sailboat. I couldn't stop thinking about her.

I didn't cry again, not at the funeral, not at the small celebration of life afterwards. It hurts in a different way, I think, mourning the death of someone who has been lost to you for so many years while their body lingers on. I looked back at old facebook posts from when she was still her, when she wrote letters on my wall because she didn't understand how messenger worked. She was the third of four sisters, all gone before her. She used to have so many friends and so few people showed to the funeral. It would have made her sad to see, I think.

5. What countries did you visit? Alternatively, what is your favorite place that you did go this year? No countries. We nearly booked our honeymoon to Portugal, but turns out weddings are expensive and I managed to do two weeks in the PNW for half the cost. I will say though that I have wanted to visit the west coast for years, so I am incredibly glad that we went. My favorite of all of the places that we went is a tie between Mt Rainier and Crater Lake. One- the pull of a mountain is legit. I grew up with the Appalachians, but goddamn, it doesn't prepare you for the sight of something Like Mt Rainier. Two- nobody effing told me that Crater Lake was THAT blue. The water, brilliant blue. The sky, brilliant blue. The air, crisp. The rest of it, PACKED with chipmunks. It was amazing. The whole trip was, but damn.

Some highlights-

6. What would you like to have in 2024 that you lacked in 2023? My answer to this last year was a husband. And like, CHECKMARK there. For 2024, and I know that this is dreaming big, but we are going to try - TRY - to buy a house this year. We will have to see how that goes.

7. What date from 2023 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? August 26th 2023. ❤️ 8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? I married my best friend. And I also survived the wedding planning process, christ. I mean don't get me wrong, the day was great, it was beautiful, wouldn't change it for the world. But sometimes I think that I should have saved myself the stress and eloped somewhere.

9. What was your biggest failure? Eh, I mean I didn't lose the weight that I wanted for the wedding, but I'm not going to hold that against me. I bought a dress that I felt pretty in with the size I was at rather than the one I wanted to be and I do not regret that. I did a lot of weightlifting and I'm strong enough to do squats with Nick on my back, so that's progress enough for now. 10. Did you suffer illness or injury? We got covid again coming back from our honeymoon, which was less than ideal. Mask up in the giant metal tubes, friends.

11. What was the best thing you bought? I'm honestly blanking on this right now. We bought a ton of stuff for the wedding, so... that? I got some neat stuff at farmers markets. I treated myself to good headphones and a proper stand for my computer. 12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Honestly? Nick's mom. We had a falling out years and years ago and while we've had a steady truce going since about 2016-2017 or so, I always feel like we're on thin ice. She's a bit of a narcissist, she holds grudges, and honestly, I'm pretty sure that she'd despise anyone that Nick or his brother ended up with. She does not like other women.

But. She behaved herself for the wedding. There were a couple small things- she almost made our bartenders cry because they mixed up our drink packages (they fixed it, it wasn't a big deal, we had NA drinks leftover from the rehearsal the night before and they went to get more) and her dress was a pale enough pink that it showed up in all of the pictures as white, but you know what? It's a win. She seemed genuinely happy during the wedding. She didn't start shit or make a fool of herself. It was just nice.

Who knows what the future has in store on this front, but for now? I'm taking it as a win and moving on. 13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? So, my mother, stepfather, and both of my brothers didn't show up to the wedding. It... wasn't exactly unexpected and when it comes down to it both my sister and I were relieved that my mom wasn't there. If she had been I guarantee the day wouldn't have gone as smoothly as it did.

But I was upset that my brothers couldn't be there. They had legitimate reasons, but it still hurt. So not appalled so much, but definitely sad.

14. Where did most of your money go? Ha. Ha ha ha. Weddings are fucking expensive. We set a budget that would have been completely and totally reasonable if we'd had the wedding prior to 2020. And then we got to actually do the research and realized that our budget was laughably impossible. We had help from Nick's mom and his grandparents, but goddamn, every time I think of how much money was sunk into one day I want to vomit. 15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? The WEDDING. The HONEYMOON. Mt Rainier! Crater Lake! The redwoods! And then, y'know, on a smaller scale: seeing Joe Hisaishi in concert, seeing the Beatles show in Vegas again, getting to do a spooky little autumn drive to see the ghoul boys live. Books. I got a whimsical little tattoo with a flying whale and a castle in the sky.

16. What song will always remind you of 2023? Stand By Me. Paradise Valley. Hello Stranger. Glasgow Love Theme. The Spiritfarer soundtrack. A million Miley Cyrus (?) songs. Eat Your Young. Green Green Grass.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: i. happier or sadder? Happier. So much happier. ii. thinner or fatter? Same size, I think? More muscle, but the scale is the same. iii. richer or poorer? Uh, probably either poorer or around the same. We've recovered a bit from the wedding, but it's been rough. 18. What do you wish you’d done more of? I genuinely do wish that I'd taken better care of myself. My blood pressure has been up, I've been having more heart palpitations, more brain fog, more headaches. And I mean, I did weight lifting, great. But I do genuinely need to eat better. I need to lose weight not because I hate how I look, but because I have sleep apnea and can't tolerate the CPAP, which means that if I don't lose weight or get my tonsils removed my blood pressure will continue to spike until I die. So. Weight loss IS a legitimate goal this year, because it is necessary.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Being an anxious mess about the wedding? I mean that's easy to say now that it's in the rearview, but the ABSURD spikes of adrenaline that I would get just from thinking about the day could NOT have been healthy.

20. How will you be spending Christmas? For Christmas Eve, we honestly just kind of lounged around. We watched a movie. Made the most mouthwatering slow-cooked beef tenderloin that I splurged on from the local butcher. Opened our one present and proceeded to not read them OR make hot chocolate.

For Christmas Day, we opened our gifts, opened the cat's gifts, then went and had Christmas at Nick's aunt's house. Other than his cousin getting engaged to someone that the entire family hates, it went well. 21. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve? We spent it inside. I made a pasta bake while Nick made the pirozki. Unfortunately, I didn't take enough lactaid to counteract the sheer amount of cheese in the pasta so I spent the hours leading up to midnight feeling NOT well, and then we drank sparkling water out of some fancy glasses instead of the wine I bought. 22. Did you fall in love in 2023? Okay, so it sounds trite, but yes? I mean, obviously I've been in love with him since 2012. But I don't know. It's different? I feel more at peace with it. Yes, I love him, but he picked me. We picked each other forever and then swore it in front of all of our favorite people. I didn't expect it to feel much different, and I mean, it's still mostly the same. We sleep in the same bed, we eat the same food, we love the same cats, we kiss each other, we make stupid fart jokes. But it's different. At least a little bit. 23. Best month for you this year? End of August/early September was amazing, mostly because of the trip (and the wedding). <This was my answer last year and the year before, but it still holds true, for obvious reasons.

24. What was your favorite TV program? Of just 2022? All right, so, favorites in (mostly) chronological order: Owl House season 3, Lockwood and Co, The Last of Us, Russian Doll season 2, Shadow and Bone season 2, Extraordinary Attorney Woo, Vox Machina season 2, The Diplomat, Queer Eye, Wheel of Time season 2, Interview with the Vampire, Fionna and Cake, The Fall of the House of Usher, Scavengers Reign, Loki season 2, Castlevania: Noctourne, Yu Yu Hakusho live action, One Piece live action, Percy Jackson and the Olympians.

Of those, over all my favorite was Loki, hands down. The ENDING was just some of the best cinema I've seen at Marvel in YEARS. The score! UGH, it was perfection. Owl House season 3 was a close second.

Of just 2023, though? Probably Fionna and Cake. We honestly loved it so much. I think I ended up liking it more than I ever did Adventure Time.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? No hate! Well, at least no one that I know. At this point every active politician could get struck down by lightning and I would mourn very few of them.

26. What was the best book you read? Ugh, there were so many bangers this year. Honestly probably a tie between Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow and Tress and the Emerald Sea.

Honorable mentions: Starling House, A Power Unbound, A Day of Fallen Night, and Thistlefoot.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Hozier's new album has been a big part of my top 50. Oh, Epic the Musical has been an effing joy!

28. What did you want and got? A husband? Yeah, I'm gonna go with that. A husband. It's still weird to say.

29. What did you want but didn’t get? Ummmmmmmm, it's hard to say a honeymoon in Portugal because I am over the moon and not unappreciative of what we did do. But. I do REALLY wish that I'd gotten to see Portugal.

And on a more somber note, before we realized that my grandma was getting too bad to attend the wedding, I'd planned a dance with her. She always used to sing My Heart Will Go On to me when I was little, and I just, really wanted to have that. Instead, I played it for her the day that I said my goodbyes and showed her a picture of my dress. It was hard, but it was enough.

30. What was your favorite film of this year? I rewatched Lord of the Rings approximately a million times this year. Honestly most of the movies I DID watch were rewatches in some way or another. I loved Across the Spiderverse, the new Persuasion movie, and Nimona. Oh, and I watched Suzume in April and the Boy and the Heron for my birthday. All of those were amazing. Absolute top favorite was probably Suzume. Nimona is VERY close though. Same with Across the Spiderverse.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 34 this year! Which is great because I've had this whole weird thing where I was convinced that I would die at 33 since I was around 7 years old, so turning 34 was very nice. I did splurge a bit this year. We went to the Yuletide Village on Friday, which is basically the grounds for the Renaissance Festival done up in Christmas lights. I got to see Krampus! And Mari Lwyd! And drink hot cocoa! And buy a REALLY cool coat.

And then as if all that wasn't enough, on my actual birthday we booked a room at the bed and breakfast that our wedding was held at because they're selling it soon. We had good cheese and wine, got to revisit the pine chapel and dance all alone to our first dance song, then had dinner and walked around a lit up Granville. And then went back to our room at the B&B and did CENSORED things in my wedding dress (look, we were too tired that night and I had a fractured foot, it was a crazy day - leave me alone) and Nick surprised me with a birthday cake from the baker that we got our wedding cake from. It was nice. The breakfast the next morning was amazing.

And then we went to see The Boy and the Heron and had a relaxing Sunday. So you know, not a big deal at all. Definitely a far cry from last year where I, oh yes, covered for a coworker and then had to go to a company party at a restaurant that I hate.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Hm. Still Mal. 33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2023? Hahaha, my hybrid job turned into a completely remote job. Which is great in theory, but means that I spent most of 2023 in my pajamas without a bra. When I WASN'T in my pajamas, I tended towards jeans and t-shirts/sweaters. One of our friends got married in July though and I got to wear the COOLEST dress. 34. What kept you sane? Nick, usually. Rigby has been a huge help too. 35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? It was a good year for Hozier, imo. 36. What political issue stirred you the most? I have had “fuck Donald Trump” as the answer to this question since 2015. And for the first time in half a decade… it’s not him. It’s all the problems he left behind. So I guess it is still at least a LITTLE bit “FUCK DONALD TRUMP IN THE EAR 20156789 2023″

Actual answer to this question though - Gaza. Ukraine. And to a lesser extent- all of the bullshit corporate stooges trying to use AI to replace real workers. Also getting legitimately nervous about next year. Though Ohio DID turn out and voted to: not let the republicans fuck with majority rules, protect abortion rights, and legalized recreational marijuana. So, small wins, I guess.

37. Who did you miss? Mal. My brothers. My grandma. 38. Who was the best new person you met? I met this REALLY cool chick at the place I get my hair done. We bonded over her playing Zelda lofi in the hairwashing room and geeked out over Tears of the Kingdom. She's so freaking cool and I want to be her friend.

39. Talk about a new friend that you made this year: Other than her... I don't think I made any?

40. Post a picture from the beginning of the year: Technically from January 1st 2023 because I'm 90% sure that it was taken after midnight. We went to an INSANE warehouse party to ring in the New Year last year and were out much later than I wanted to be.

41. Post a picture from the end of the year From December 15th - which is apparently just the day that I get my hair done now. Since the wedding is over I finally committed to coloring my hair for the first time since 2020. It was long overdue and am excited to cut it short in the spring, but I actually think this is the first haircut where I miss the long hair?

42. A memorable meal discovered this year? Oh my GOD, that sherpa stew. We obviously had a lot of good food on our trip. Piroshky Piroshky was my favorite highlight from Pike's Place and then there was a restaurant in Salem, Oregon that had the BEST butternut squash soup and pulled pork that I have ever had. It was amazing. I would go back to Oregon for this soup alone.

But that sherpa stew. It cups my heart in its soupy little fist.

43. What was your favorite memory this year? Honestly, there were a lot of great moments this year. Obviously the wedding was the highlight, but the rest of it was pretty great too. The night of the Joe Hisaishi concert it stormed as the concert was finishing and since the venue was mostly outdoors, everyone got soaked. It was magical. The honeymoon highlights - the breathtaking awe of Mt Rainier, the beauty of the golden rays of the setting sun in the Hall of Mosses, the SIZE and GRANDNESS of Crater Lake. The drive up to Michigan to see Ghost Files live, how the drive there was this perfect little time capsule of autumn in the midwest, stormclouds on the horizon and corn fields all around us. The day after, when we stopped into Ann Arbor to visit the cherry store that's only in Michigan, how I found the BEST possible boots at a little store. How we found another amazing little independent book store just down the street. The way Nick's mom looked after the Cirque du Soleil Beatles show, where she turned to me and said that it was her best birthday ever. Dancing alone in the pavilion where we had our reception, crooning the song to each other in the dark while the lights from the pine chapel twinkled warmly at us from 20 feet away, beckoning.

And the wedding. Obviously the wedding.

The night before, where we had a private little ceremony at the stroke of midnight, there in the dark, nightsong all around us. Just us, our officiant, his brother, and my sister and her husband. My hair was damp and frizzy from the heat, from the helter skelter of the rehearsal earlier. He was in a t-shirt and slacks that were almost highwaters. But we read our vows to each other, sealed it with a kiss.

August 26th, 12:02am. A secret, just for us. Our siblings sworn to secrecy.

And then the next day, the note that was slipped under our door from our dear friend who officiated the wedding (both public and private), written on a torn bit of notebook paper: "May today be the first chaotic day of joy in a shared life full of chaotic joy." The breakfast: dutch baby with caramelized apples, sausage links, orange juice, earl grey. Watching Annie put together bouquets at the coffee table next to the kitchen. Going to work, putting tables together. Called back to the house, hair and makeup. Granola bars one and two. My girls singing Chapel of Love to me in the bridal suite, the swell of emotion in my heart - these are my people, they love me, they're so happy. First look, Nick's eyes, his smile. So familiar, that first almost wary glint, scared to look, scared he'll mess it up in front of the photographers, the way he smiled when he saw me, wide and real, almost a laugh, then the way it curled, lopsided, a bashful tilt to his mouth as he said my name. A hug. A moment of peace before the storm. A preying mantis on the porch railing, bumblebees buzzing around my skirt. Will I remember them in twenty years? In thirty?

Fast, fast, everything goes so fast afterwards. Separate. First look with dad, with girls, line up for the walk down the aisle, careful of the puddle. Listen for One Summers Day - they didn't get the song right and are playing the orchestral version instead of the piano. Instead of soft and sweet, there's brass in the pines, french horns ushering us to our spots. Wait wait, start walking - wedding party first. My dad is nervous next to me, he keeps fidgeting. Girls and groomsmen gone, glasgow love theme starts. I'm practically dragging my dad down the aisle. Annie warned me that everyone would stand, but it still catches me by surprise. Look up, bouquet tilted just so, don't trip on the roots. I don't even look at our guests, I don't check to see if my side looks lopsided without my family there, my eyes are on him, on Annie. My heart - I feel.

Ceremony goes fast. Seth reads Pablo Neruda. Tanya reads Neil Gaiman. My eyes are wet, I blink the tears back. Handfasting cords tied loosely, begin to get anxious about how I'm going to put the ring on with my hand tied, but Annie's already removing them. I put the ring on the wrong hand, a hot flash of shame gone in seconds, kiss kiss kiss- time for bubbles, walk.

Pictures. So many pictures. Go to bustle dress, granola bar 3. I choke on it. Back to the reception, big entrance. Too queasy to eat much, I picked at the bread, at the salad, at the chicken. Drank a ginger ale, left my martini untouched. Cake cutting, burst of sugar on the tongue, still queasy. Dancing soon - will I get it wrong? First dance- spun me a little too hard, but we laughed. I didn't feel the eyes on us. I fixed his glasses when they slipped down his nose, everyone laughed. Father-daughter dance, was it a mistake? Should have practiced, should have figured out how dads and daughters dance. Swayed. He kept me talking. Kept my mind off my nerves. Looking back on the wedding footage, everyone was crying. Mother-son dance, more tears. The sheer emotional whiplash of going from Baby Mine to Click Click Boom - but it's what his mom wanted, wanted to have the wedding party do the bernie. Cringy, but fine, we'll do it.

Group selfie on the dance floor, first couples dance dedicated to his grandparents - their anniversary was two days previous, so I found out what their song was and had the DJ play it for them. His grandpa cried. His grandma cried. I cried. The photographer cried. Next slow song, it's the song one of our groomsmen got married to - his wife already left, more tears because he's alone at the head table. Pulled away, golden hour photos. A dream. Beautiful. So queasy. Go back to the house to pee, almost vomit into the toilet, nearly black out. More photos. A moment of peace in the pines - they rickrolled everyone without me.

Dancing, how did I dance so much? Photographers leave. They're playing all my favorites now that we're back, too much dancing, need to sit down. Forgot about the bouquet toss, need to do it while I have the energy. So many people have left - make it gender neutral, get people up there. Whoever wants a bouquet. My best friend catches the bouquet. I hurl myself at her and almost take us to the ground. More dancing - where is Nick? Smoking cigars with his brother. More dancing. Someone gives me a martini, but I can only drink a few sips. So tired, my foot hurts, but another two hours to go.

We sing - Bohemian Rhapsody, Take On Me, The Time of My Life. Should we be embarrassed? Too happy. Sit, talk, make the rounds. More dancing.

Winding down. It's time, last two dances. Piano Man, the DJ makes everyone get in a ring around us, it's embarrassing, but god I'm so happy. Last dance, just us. Paradise Valley, crooning quietly to each other in the dark. Tears on my cheeks. On his. A kiss, no one can see, this one is just us.

Goodbyes, see you laters, can't find my phone, someone took it, need to find the phone, need to sit, need to get out of this stupid dress, my foot hurts. Bridesmaids taking charge, have things torn down and presentable in thirty minutes flat. More goodbyes, limp across the field with a groomsmen, still can't find my phone. Find my phone, take off the jewelry, get close to crying. Someone helps me upstairs? Or maybe I did it myself. Realize I can't get the dress off on my own. Think about crying. Foot hurts, why does it hurt so much? Officiant finds me, helps me take off my shoes. Unbuttons my dress for me, leaves it half on so she can figure out what's wrong with my foot. Oh, almost go into shock, oh, it's fractured. Go to the doctor? Honeymoon is in two days. She massages my aching shoulders, my feet. It's embarrassing, but she's an OT, she doesn't want me in pain.

Nick finds us, tired and drooping, but happy. Annie leaves. Sleep now? Yes, sleep. Hurting and more exhausted than we've ever been, but fuck, so happy. Such a good day. We did good.

44. What are you excited for next year? I am incredibly excited to no longer be planning a wedding. May buy a house. May go on a vacation. May quit my job. We'll see.

45. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2023: My valuable life lesson in the year of 2020 was: Life sucks. Keep your head on straight. Mourn your dead and love your living like you’ll never see them again. Live life like you could die tomorrow. And don’t take the little things for granted.

And you know what, I’m going to keep that. I think it’s a good reminder.

46. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: puff out your chest, take a deep breath you're gonna be okay if it's loud in your mind, just take your time you're gonna be okay - You're Gonna Be Okay, Ashh Blackwood

2018 me apparently quoted Singing in the Rain. 2019 quoted something sad and pretentious. 2020 me quoted This Year, because she was a dramatic bitch and hurting. 2021 me quoted an assurance that I wasn’t broken. 2022 me was tired and sad and just wanted to feel human again.

2023 me was a weird mess of anxiety, but mostly happy. The anxiety was a bitch, will always be a bitch. But this song kept me going.

#heather says what #year in review #2023 #new year's memes #tw: death #may have written an entirely too long stream of consciousness about the wedding #whoops

5 notes · View notes