#my neighbour has been a bit of a hardass all year so I got it in my head that he hates us and was generally a bit of a dick
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still thinking about ‘from rupert (not the bear)’
#my neighbour has been a bit of a hardass all year so I got it in my head that he hates us and was generally a bit of a dick#and I knocked on his door multiple times the past few days to be like hi pls don’t lock the street gate I can’t get in my house otherwise#and I was convinced he’d give me shit about it and then he just WOULDNT ANSWER HIS DOOR ANYWAY#even tho I share a wall with him I can HEAR that he’s in so I was getting so frustrated#and in the end I posted a note to him explaining the situation#and HE POSTED A REALLY SWEET NOTE BACK SAYING IT WAS NO PROBLEM#and he signed off with ‘from no.38 aka rupert (not the bear)’#and I’m genuinely choked up about it. it was hours ago I’m still here#it’s a mix of me being due on + being very stressed non-stop for 2 days and not expecting such a silly kind thing#but also ik he lives alone and he barely leaves his house and initially I thought he was just rude bc that’s the vibe he gave#but this tiny act of like. reaching out? has made me rethink and now I’m convinced he’s lonely in there#and I’m gonna CRYYYYY#HE DIDNT NEED TO EVEN RESPOND BUT HE DID. (not the bear) HEAD IN MY HANDSSSS#hella goes to uni
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ask me to stay. | chapter two | 8.3k
“No! This is stupid.” Eddie said, trying to keep the tears from his eyes. “I never should have come, my mother was right. This was a huge mistake!”
Richie gave him a look he couldn’t read, and turned back to the smoking truck.
[or: the year is 1994, and Eddie Kaspbrak is in love.]
chapter warnings: period typical homophobia, sonia kaspbrak’s a+ parenting, internalized homophobia and So Much goddamn pining that it’s almost not funny.
read on AO3!
Eddie braced himself for hitting the ground, barely feeling the the impact within his ankles. Richie grinned at him as Eddie straightened up to stand. “You get braver everyday, Eds.”
It wasn’t true, but Eddie smiled anyway. Ever since that night up at the Quarry, things had changed between the Losers. Eddie wasn’t sure if Richie had ended things with Beverly or not, didn’t think it was hit place to ask Richie, but it made him unsure of how to act around Beverly. Richie and Beverly seemed to be spending less time together, but Richie had always had a bad habit of distancing himself whenever he was going through something. It was a toxic trait that Eddie wished Richie could grow out of, but he only seemed to fall more into himself as he got older.
Richie let out an overly loud sigh, staring up at the sky and letting the sun hit his face. Eddie loved the way the sunlight made his freckles look golden, and hated himself for it. Richie’s bruises from his run-in with Patrick were almost faded, and his lips were back to drawing Eddie’s attention simply for gay reasons. It was truly summer at least, and summer always meant the Denbrough’s lakehouse launch party.
”Your mom is letting you go this year, right?” Richie asked as though he could read Eddie’s mind. “Because it always blows major dick when you aren’t there.”
“Do you actually blow on it?” Eddie asked, turning to Richie with wide eyes. “Your dick, during blowjobs… because that doesn’t sound good, it sounds awful.” Richie was wiggling his eyebrows and Eddie immediately regretted ever opening his mouth. “Oh my god, no, shut up. Don’t even….”
“Come on, Eds.” Richie said, with over-exaggerated sleeze. “We can find out.”
Eddie shoved at Richie roughly, so that his friend stumbled and fell down into the grass, laughing. “Beep fucking beep.” Eddie stared angrily down at Richie for a moment, momentarily annoyed at how his friend cackled before the laughter made Eddie’s chest warm as it always did. He held his hand up and helped hoist Richie back to his feet. Their hands were lowered to their sides, but they stayed joined. The inside of Eddie’s body was warm.
“You didn’t answer my questions,” Richie pointed out, smiling a little softly down at Eddie. He cursed Richie’s growth spurt from the past year, he truly did. Through seventh grade until junior year, Eddie and Richie had nearly been neck and neck in height, along with Beverly. The three of them had regularly been the shortest Losers, the three of them constantly bouncing back and forth within height ranking so frequently that you could almost never tell who was taller. Until this last summer, when Richie had come back from staying with his aunts at the end of August nearly four inches taller than Eddie and Bev. Neither of them had gotten even close to catching up, and Richie had added on another inch or two since then. Now, Eddie could probably tuck his head underneath Richie’s chin if he ever had the nerve to try.
The sun might have been hovering over them a little too directly, because Eddie suddenly felt way too fucking hot. He dropped Richie’s hand and shuffled away slightly, biting at his bottom lip. He couldn’t just hold Richie’s hand out in public like this - hell, he couldn’t hold Richie’s hand anywhere, it wasn’t his to hold. Eddie’s backyard wasn’t any more private than his front, he had nosey neighbours on all sides. Neighbours that absolutely would see something so innocent and turn it into something real bad to report to Sonia. Then Eddie’s life was as good as over.
“Yes, she’s letting me come.” Eddie said quietly, turning to walk out to the street. He heard Richie scamper after him. “I don’t even know how I did it. There was a lot of crying, and I’d pretty much given up, then she randomly changed her tune. Said that she had to accept that I wasn’t going to be an adult soon, and she can’t stop from doing things.”
“Well…” Richie said, sounding a little uneasy. Ever since the truth of what Sonia Kaspbrak was really like, Richie had been obviously putting a lot more effort into being considerate towards it. He still made your mom jokes, because he wouldn’t be Trashmouth Tozier if he didn’t, but it was clear that he tried to take real conversations about Sonia as seriously as possible. Eddie loved him for it, and never mentioned it. “That’s probably a good thing, right? If she’s starting to take you seriously like that, maybe she’s going to tone it down completely.”
“Doubt it.” Eddie said with a short laugh as he and Richie began to make their way down the sidewalk. “If anything, she’s using this as like… blackmail or something. When I bring up college applications next year, it’ll be all Oh, Eddie Bear, you don’t need to go to college. Don’t you remember going to the lakehouse last summer?”
The corners of Richie’s mouth twitched at Eddie’s scarily accurate imitation of his mother. He forced down the laughter though, not sure it would be appreciated at this moment. “I can’t believe you and your ma haven’t talked about college. My parents have been shoving it down my throat since like… eighth grade. They have their hearts set on fucking Princeton or some other Ivy fuckshow.”
“I think my Ma believes that if we don’t talk about it, then I won't’ go.” Eddie said glumly, sounding fully Eryore-like. He felt Richie nudge him with his elbow and he sent Richie a small beam. “It’s fine, though. I turn eighteen before graduation, so my dad’s trust fund unlocks and goes to me. I don’t need her permission for anything then.”
“Thank fuck for that.” Richie said cheerily. “Where do you want to go, Eds? Where in this big wide world calls to you?”
Wherever you are, Eddie thought wistfully, then resented it. Richie would bitch and bitch about it, but he’d go to Princeton if that’s what his parents wanted. Eddie wasn’t going to be getting into Princeton, and if he did… even with his dad’s fund, he wouldn’t be able to afford it. And he couldn’t- wouldn’t- go chasing around the world for Richie Tozier. He could do better things. “New York, maybe.” Eddie said with a shrug. “Always wanted to see the city. What about you?”
“California, dude.” Richie said, giving him a quick surf’s up. “I’m going to go where the snow doesn’t fly and never look back. Stanny and I have talked about it, a bit, I guess. Probably go together, shack up in some trashy Cali apartment and save on money.”
Stan. Of course it was Stanley. Eddie tried not to be disappointed, knowing that Richie and Stan had practically shared diapers. There was nothing to be jealous about, and it wasn’t fair for Eddie to let it eat at him. It wasn’t fair to Richie… or himself… and definitely wasn’t fair to Stanley, who was the most innocent of bystanders in Eddie’s churning mind. “You’ll burn up like lobster in California.”
Richie grinned and ruffed at Eddie’s hair. Eddie squawked and pushed him away, the two walking the rest of the way to Denbrough’s in mindless conversation and soft giggles. They were the last to arrive, as they usually were, and all the other Losers were standing around the front yard. Eddie noted that the grass still hadn’t been mowed.
“B-b-bad nuh-news,” Bill said as soon as they walked up. Richie moved from Eddie’s side, taking Beverly’s hand without either of them looking at the other. Their hands were loose at their sides, and Eddie forced himself not to look.
“Finally, you guys are here,” Ben said, sounding more frustrated than Eddie was used to hearing him. “Bill’s been refusing to tell us his bad news until Richie got here. Can we get to it, please?”
Bill rolled his eyes and looked at Richie. “My p-p-parents are being hardasses. They w-w-w-won’t let me take the wag-wagon so we’re st-st-stuck with the c-c-car and-”
“And you need me to drive somebody in my truck?” Richie asked with a smirk. The only person who seemed to enjoy cutting off Bill’s stuttering sentences more than Richie, was Ben. But Ben hadn’t done it in years, not since the silent feud between them over Beverly had come to an end. Richie just did it to be a little asshole, everybody knew.
Bill glared at him, but he wasn’t actually mad. “I was th-hinking that you and Buh-Bev could travel with us in the t-t-ttruck-”
“I’m not going with Richie,” Beverly said a little sharply. The eyes of the other five Losers all turned to look at them, and Beverly blushed a bit. “He’s a shit driver! I don’t want to die, I barely let him drive me to school! Take Eddie.”
“Oh, so you want Eddie to die in a fiery crash then?” Mike asked, laughing awkwardly as he cleared tried to lighten the mood. Richie took his hand free from Beverly’s, covering it up by clearly scratching at his chin and Eddie’s stomach clenched at how uncomfortable he looked.
“Nobody’s dying,” Richie said with an eye roll. “If we really don’t want me driving- then Ben can. It would be easier because I’ve driven there before but whatever. I’m sure we can figure it-”
“I’ll just go with Richie, it’s fine. Everybody has to take one for the team sometimes” Stan grumbled suddenly, and Eddie’s stomach flared. He’d been so concerned with Richie’s discomfort in Beverly’s display that he hadn’t noticed what was going on.
“Don’t strain yourself, Stanley.” Eddie shot at him, knowing his voice was too angry but not being bothered to care. They were fighting over who had to ride with Richie! “I’m going with Richie.”
The air was tense for a moment, and Richie was giving Eddie some sort of look he couldn’t read, but the Losers soon moved back towards the excitement of the trip. Richie moved to stand beside Eddie, the two of them slightly apart from their friends. “I broke up with Beverly,” Richie whispered to him. “That’s why she’d being so weird.”
“You… what?” Eddie gaped at his friend. So many questions blew up in his mind in that moment, and he couldn’t find anything in him to ask. Richie seemed to know, somehow, what the most pressing questions were.
“Last Saturday, after I thought about what I told you at the Quarry.” Richie continued, watching their friends with a neutral expression that didn’t fit his personality. “She took it okay, She thought that we should wait to tell everybody until after the trip to keep it from being awkward. Guess she thought after that I could just duck out of the group without ruffling any feathers.”
Beverly didn’t think that, would never want that because she wasn’t that sort of malicious person. Eddie knew that- and Richie likely did as well - but it didn’t stop Richie’s words from stinging. He pressed his hand to Richie’s elbow and squeezed. “I’ll go with you.” It was an empty promise, as nobody was leaving the Losers Club for anything, but still a promise.
Richie beamed at him, and swayed forward slightly. His chest bumped against each other’s, Eddie’s hand squeezing at Richie’s elbow all the tighter. It was Richie’s eyes flicking down to Eddie’s lips, but still Eddie’s heart racing completely erratically. He could kiss Richie right now, he wouldn’t even have to stretch with how Richie was leaning down. Forget everything Eddie had ever told himself, everything he knew was right and what he couldn’t do. Forget all the people around them, people who may never accept them or forgive them. He could kiss Richie, he really could. Richie might not even pull away if he did.
“Hey, asshats!” Mike called over to them, grinning a little too knowingly for Eddie’s comfort. Richie took a step away from him, and Eddie noticed him blushing slightly. “Are you going to help us pack this car?”
Richie laughed, stepping towards the car and kicking his foot slightly against the suitcase that was most likely Bill’s. Eddie marvelled at Richie’s ability to act so normal so quickly. “We’re not even taking the car. Why should we have to pack it with your stuff?”
“In Richie talk, that means Richie hasn’t packed yet.” Mike said with a snicker. “And don’t try to deny it, because we can all see that you didn’t bring any bags.”
“Hey!” Richie cried, but he was finally grinning jokingly again. “Spaghetti Man over here doesn’t have a bag. Why are we digging at me?”
“Eddie probably didn’t even know if he was coming or not until last night or this morning,” Mike pointed out, grabbing the suitcase at his feet and hoisting it into the back. “So, it’s perfectly excusable that he hasn’t packed yet. You, on the other hand, are just an extreme procrastinator who can never get anything done even close to on time.”
“I’ll be s-s-surprised if he’s e-e-even packed b-before we leave t-t-tomorrow,” Bill said, head popping out from between the backseats to grin at them. “Have to walk around in the s-s-same dirty cl-clothes all w-w-weekend.”
“Or I could take the clothes off altogether,” Richie said with a leer. The back of Eddie’s neck turned warm once again, and he bitterly turned away. His gaze met Mike’s, and Mike’s eyes seemed just a little too amused for his liking. Eddie wrapped his arms around his middle and kicked at Richie’s ankle.
“Can I stay at yours tonight?” He asked gingerly. “After I go and get my stuff from home? I’m a little afraid that if I’m at home, my ma will try to guilt trip me into not going… or take away my permission, you know? If I’m not there, she can’t.”
“Sure, Eds.” Richie said, finally giving Mike and Stan a hand with all the suitcases and bags. “Saves time in the morning since I’m picking you up anyway.”
“Oh my God.” Ben gasped suddenly, looking around at the other Losers and seeming almost starstruck. “Guys… We don’t have to wait for Richie in the morning.”
There was loud, excited chattering amongst the Losers while Richie made large, sweeping motions of annoyance. “Oh, okay! Okay! I get it! Trash the Trashmouth! Fine, fine!” Eddie leaned back a little bit, pressing his hands against his lips to cover his smirk. “Eddie is the only one who’s good enough for me!”
Eddie raised his brow, and he could see Richie’s actions in the way you could see a cat’s eyes dilate before attack. Eddie had barely managed to brace his knees before Richie came rushing at him and leapt into Eddie’s eyes. He’d hardly been able to keep himself standing for three seconds before crumpling to the ground under Richie’s weight.
“Richard, you goddamn giant… You’re too fucking tall to around jumping on people!” Beverly laughed at them.
When Richie and Eddie walked back to the Tozier house that night, Eddie’s heart began to race. He struggled to trace the sudden anxious pit in his stomach back to a source: it was easily the idea of facing his mother right now. Or maybe it was the way Richie’s arm was brushing against his own while they walked. It definitely could have been that.
“Do you want me to come in with you?” Richie asked, gesturing towards the house they stood in front of us. “I can distract your mom while you pack and dash?”
Richie’s tone made it sound like a dirty joke, but Eddie knew it was an genuine offer. Richie Tozier never had any qualms about pissing off Sonia Kaspbrak, and he was always willing to whip it out as a secret weapon to help out Eddie.
“No,” Eddie sighed regretfully. The summers early year heat had caused sweet to cling to Eddie’s hair and press it down against his forehead. He swiped it away and gave Richie a small smile. “I’m on thin ice enough with the monster. The last thing we should do is poke the sleeping bear.”
Richie smiled back at him. The sun was starting to set and the air was beginning to set with the early summer chill. Sweaters and shorts weather, goosebumps were already starting to rise up on Eddie’s forearms. He rubbed at his arm as he and Richie took part of their new activity of staring at one another for long periods of time for no reason without speaking.
Richie cleared his throat and raised his eyebrows. “Are you going to go inside? Because I’d offer to give you clothes to wear but you think my style is - and I quote- “thrift store castaways” so-“ Richie shrugged and smirked. He made a swooping gesture towards the house. Eddie exhaled shakily, and was surprised when he felt Richie’s hand wrap around his wrist and squeeze gently. “Just go in, tell your ma you’re staying at my place because we have an early morning. Go up to your room, throw some shit into your backpack and get outta there. You’ve got this, Eds Spageds. I will wait for you; and promise to come running in if I heard screams.”
Eddie smiled at him, admittedly still nervous and walked past Richie. He flipped his friend off over his shoulder when Richie let out a loud wolf whistle as he walked. He held his other hand against his cheek and felt the warmth of his blush.
His mother was waiting up for her, completely unsurprisingly. Sonia could sleep through a train running through their house, but she’d never go to bed unless she knew Eddie was home. Luckily, she’d sleep through him sneaking out - or Richie sneaking in - later, without fail.
“Eddie bear! You’re late!” Eddie didn’t have an official curfew, and it was only 8:30, He rolled his eyes and leaned in to give his mother a quick kiss to the cheek.
“I’m going to grab some stuff and spend the night over at the Toziers,” Eddie said quickly with a small, forced smile. Sonia gave him a disapproving cluck of her tongue and Eddie frowned. “Don’t do that, Ma. He’s driving me out to the lake house tomorrow mike thing. It’s easier if I just stay the night there and we leave together first thing.”
“I don’t know if I want you taking the drive with that boy.” Sonia said that boy that way she would have said toxic sludge that’s eating through my floor and Eddie already felt himself bristling. “I don’t want you around boys like that. He’s a bad influence on you, Eddie bear, I won’t have him swaying you.”
“Richie’s not a bad person, Ma.” Eddie said with a sigh. He’d been having this same argument since the second grade, and he was beyond sick of it. “He’s got best grades in our class, he’s probably going to be validictorian. I don’t know why you have to be so hard on him all the time. You aren’t like this with my other friends!”
“That Tozier…” Sonia shook her head and glared towards the front door. “I’m afraid that if you spent too much time around him, you’ll start to make allowances for his… lifestyle. I know you’re impressionable, Eddie, but you can’t let him make you think that way of life is okay. It isn’t.”
Eddie frowned. Lifestyle? It donned on him pretty quickly what it was that his mother was implying and his whole body suddenly burned hot. He could feel his hands shaking. “I’m not having this conversation with you, Mother.”
He turned to stompe towards the stairs but knew without looking that Sonia was waddling after him. “Eddie, do not walk away when I’m talking to!”
“I have to go pack mother.” Eddie said coldly. “Richie is waiting outside for me.”
“Didn’t you hear what I said, Edward!?!”
“Yes, Mom. I heard you.” Eddie said sharply, finally turning to loom at her from the bottom step of the stairs. “But I don’t have to stand here and listen to you talk about my best friend like that- whether what you’re saying is true or not.” Sonia stared up at him with a look of severely discontent and it sent a thrill down his spine. “You don’t get to pass judgement on my friends. Not with the things you’ve done. Richie would never hurt me, no matter what you think you he is.”
Sonia let out a loud huff, and crossed her arms. Eddie turned on his heel and rushed up the stairs before his mother could give him any more lectures or throw anymore comments about Richie. Untrue, hurtful comments. Richie wasn’t… but Eddie was. And Sonia’s behavior towards what she simply believes to be true about Richie, just cements that he’ll never be able to tell her. He started grabbing whatever clothes he could find in his drawers, mildly hoping that they would be okay to wear for the weekend, and started for the stairs at a run.
“EDDIE!” Sonia shouted after him, sounding utterly tearful as Eddie refused to look at her as he ducked out the house. Keeping his head down, with his backpack hiked up over his shoulders, he rushed right past Richie and made his way down the street.
“Hey, Eds! Eddie, wait.” With his long legs, Richie was able to check up to his friend pretty quickly. He pressed his hand to the bottom of Eddie’s spine and Eddie could slightly see the concerned look on his friend. “What did she say to you?”
And what could Eddie say now? That his mother made hateful comments about Richie that got Eddie upset because those hateful things applied to him- and not Richie? That he’s also upset because those thing don’t apply to Richie and some part of him deep down wished that it did? No, no. Eddie couldn’t say those things, he’d already sworn to himself that he would never put his friendship with Richie at risk like that.
Eddie had been forced to accept his feelings for his best friend back in sophomore year, when the Losers had gone to their first formal dance and he’d watched Richie and Beverly slow dancing. His heart and stomach had soured, and he’d had to walk outside because he couldn’t watch it anymore. Sitting outside in the middle of February had given Eddie lots of time to get lost in his own head and figure out some important things about himself. 1) He was definitely gay. Yeah, he’d been pretty sure of this for a while but there was really no denying it now. 2) He liked Richie. This might have been something that he known deep down for a while, but he’d been fighting against admitting it to himself. It was all up here in his face now, he had to bite the bullet here…. And 3) Richie was happily in love with his girlfriend, and Eddie’s best friend, therefore Richie could never know about Eddie’s stupid crush.
It’s not just a stupid crush, was it? Eddie’s brain told him mockingly. It’s much more than that now. And Richie isn’t happily in love with his… Eddie shook the thoughts from his head. No going down that road. Richie being single didn’t mean he’d stopped being straight. “Just the usual shit,” Eddie said with a rough sigh. “All the bullshit about being weak and how it’s best for me to stay home with her. It just pisses me off.”
Richie tossed his arm around Eddie’s shoulder and pressed a quick kiss to the top of Eddie’s head. Eddie knew that he was blushing terribly, and was thankful for the setting sun in that moment for guarding it. “Awe, Eds. You’re the toughest lil bastard I know. Don’t fucking listen to her.”
“I know,” Eddie sighed, leaning into Richie’s touch. Letting the warmth feed him comfort for this moment when he needed it. He knew that he shouldn’t waste his time indulging himself in Richie Tozier, knowing that it was only going to hurt him the long run. But if Richie was willing to give the comfort, then Eddie would accept it for as long as it was being offered to him.
They walked the rest of the way to the Tozier house in silence, Richie’s arm around his shoulder. The house was dark as when they reached it, nothing out of the ordinary. Richie’s mother worked the morning shift as a nurse at Derry’s hospital, and was often in bed by nine in the evening. If Richie’s father was home, he’d been watching television quietly in the den or more like working in his home office. Eddie wasn’t really sure what it was that Wentworth Tozier did for a living, and when he asked Richie about it, the answer had been vague enough that he suspected that maybe Richie didn’t really know either.
“I think my dad is out tonight. Working or something.” Richie said as he took the spare key out from underneath the welcome mat and unlocked his front door. “My Ma is definitely sleeping, so we’ll need to be quiet.”
That second part was a speal that Richie gave every time that Eddie slept over, but Eddie never grew tired of it. It made him smile to know how much Richie cared about his mother. He might act like some big edgy guy, but he’s an absolute mommas boy and everybody could see it. They both moved into the Tozier’s kitchen, Richie rummaging with practised quiet to grab two sodas from the fridge and a box of cookies from the cupboard. They made their way up to Richie’s bedroom and dropped side by side onto the bed.
“Are you going to ask me about what happened with Beverly?” Richie asked lightly, laying back onto the bed and resting the cookie box onto his stomach.
Eddie crawled up beside him and curled up by Richie’s side. “Do you want to tell me about Beverly?”
Richie had a arm propped up behind his head and let the other drop down around Eddie’s body. Pulling Eddie close enough that his head was near resting on Richie’s chest. He reached out and took a cookie from the box, hoping that Richie couldn’t feel how fast his heart was beating right then. He felt Richie sigh.
“It was painless,” Richie said. “Really cut and dry. I picked her up from her house, drove out to the spot by the old train tracks and I told her. That I wasn’t really sure if I was in love with her, that I thought that we shouldn’t be in a relationship anymore. She seemed okay, kind of confused, but she didn’t cry which is what I was most worried about.”
Eddie nodded against Richie’s chest. For somebody who was as sensitive as Richie Tozier, he really didn’t handle emotions particularly well. His or anybody else’s. The fact that he was even able to have a break up conversation with Beverly was mildly impressive.
“Then she suggested that we don’t tell anybody that we’re broken up until after the lakehouse,” Richie continued, because once you got Richie talking it was hard to get him to stop. “She thought it would make the trip awkward and I kind of agreed, you know? You guys have seen as BevandRichie for so long that maybe it would make the trip awkward. Or maybe breaks ups are awkward all around, I don’t know. Whatever. I agreed with her, so we were going to tell everybody after we got back. But today she was all passive aggressive and weird, I don’t want that. I still want to best friends with Beverly. I do love her. I do.”
Eddie hummed, and wrapped his arms around Richie’s middle. Giving him a small squeeze. It was a friendly hug, for his friend who was feeling sad and confused. Perfectly innocent. Acceptable. “Do you think you guys will get back together?” NO, Eddie. Bad question. Selfish question. Don’t do this to yourself.
“No.” Richie said immediately. “Beverly isn’t the one for me. I know that. Maybe they’re out there, in like college and I’ll finally get that older women I’ve always fantasized about or uh…” Eddie swore that Richie’s eyes dropped down to him, and Eddie’s heart threw up a little in his chest. “Maybe they’re closer than that.”
“We, uh, we er-” Eddie was flushing and he rolled over onto his back. Richie’s arm now locked under his body as he stared up at the ceiling. “We should go to sleep. We need to get up early tomorrow.”
“Whatever you say, Eds.”
“Don’t fucking call me that!”
When Eddie came to the next morning, he was immediately aware of Richie’s arms around him in a vice-like grip. He was warm and utterly comfortable, not wanting to give it a single thought because if he did he might have a panic attack. Eddie fidgeted in Richie’s grip, noticing the amount of sun pouring into the window.
“Richard!” Eddie hissed angrily. Not that there was anybody in the house to wake up besides Richie. Mrs Tozier would have been gone beyond hours ago, and Eddie wasn’t sure if Mr Tozier was even home. If he ever slept. Eddie had never seen the man asleep. “Richie, get up, you lazy fucking asshole. We’re late.”
Richie made some cute, sleepy noises and Eddie’s heart leapt. He genuinely considered letting himself settle into Richie’s warm hold and going back to sleep himself. They didn’t really need to get up, they could stay here all weekend. But that was self indulgent, and not true.
Eddie whacked at the side of Richie’s head as he pulled himself free. Richie made a loud, wounded noise.
“Eds, why are beating me?” Richie whined, eyes still clenched shut tightly. He tossed the arm that was no longer wrapped about Eddie over his forehead and whined out wordlessly. “This is abuse. I think we need to see a counsellor. Work through our issues.”
“Beep beep, Richie,” Eddie grumbled, sitting up and rubbing at his sleep-sticky eyes. “It’s got to be almost noon, we were supposed to leave two hours ago.”
“Awe, shit.” Richie rolled out of bed. Literally rolled out of it. Just turned on his side, and dropped onto the floor. Eddie gaped at him as Richie stood up, shredding off his shirt as though he hadn’t done anything weird at all. Eddie frowned and shook his head. “Bill is never going to let me hear the end of this. Fuck. Get ready!”
Eddie squawked. “Me? You’d still be asleep if it wasn’t for you, you lazy ass!”
Richie gestured at Eddie seated on the bed. “And yet… Get that cute ass movin’, Kaspbrak. Let’s go.” The rest of the getting ready process which, yes, included Richie doing the entirety of his packing, was done in near silence. The two of them rushed quickly down the stairs, Richie grabbing two blueberry muffins from the tray on the table that was no doubt left behind by a Maggie Tozier who knew they weren’t going to wake up with enough time to themselves a breakfast.
As Richie locked the door to his house and moved to place the “hidden” key back into its obvious hiding place, Eddie looked up towards the sky, noticing that the sun that had woken them up was rapidly getting hidden behind dark clouds. “Uh… how comfortable are you with driving in the rain?”
Richie turned around and looked up towards the sky himself, giving it a side smile as though the sky was looking back at him. “Eds, baby, I’m always comfortable driving. It’s my passengers who are nervous.”
Eddie hummed non-committedly, taking their bags and tossing them into the back seat of Richie’s truck before the sky had a chance to open up and soak them with how fast the storm seemed to be coming in. Richie didn’t seem to have the same concerns, walking towards the truck at barely a crawl and letting himself in slowly. Eddie’s knee was bouncing when Richie finally got in.
“Do you know if any of the radio stations reach all the way up to the lakehouse?” Eddie asked, reaching for the dials as Richie started up the truck. “I can’t fucking stand the sound of the stations starting to cut in and out when we’re getting out of range.”
“I know you do,” Richie said with a soft smile. “That’s why I brought this mixtape I made for us. It’s just a bunch of songs that remind me of you, or that I think you’d like. And there’s no cutting in or out, and no static.”
“That’s awesome,” Eddie accepted the tape from Richie and started to push it into the player when he froze. “Wait, when did you make this? You didn’t know until yesterday that we’d be taking your truck, and I didn’t see you make this.”
Richie’s cheeks seemed to turn pink as Eddie turned over the tape titled “Spaghetti Songs” and frowned at it. Richie cleared his throat awkwardly and began to back out of his driveway. “I made it a while ago,” Richie admittedly, almost as though it physically hurt him to be saying these things. “We don’t have to listen to it if you’re going to be all nosy about it.”
Richie reached out for the tape and Eddie made a loud, squawking noise as he held it towards his chest. “Fuck you, we’re listening to it.” Eddie shut the tape into the deck and jerked back into his seat as Baby Got Back began to blare out of the speaker. He turned to Richie, who was driving with one hand while the other was pressed against his mouth to keep the laughter at bay. “Seriously? This song makes you think of me?”
“Hell yes it does!” Richie cackled, tossing his head back and letting himself succumb to his laughter. Eddie glared angrily at him as Richie swept a hand over Eddie’s body in the passenger seat. “I’ve seen you in your track uniform!”
“Don’t sexualize my uniform!” Eddie sheriked, swatting at Richie’s arm and pushing his hand back towards the steering wheel.
Richie was still laughing, and shaking his head. “Baby boy, I don’t need to sexualize anything about it. Your ass and thighs do that for me.”
Eddie turned back to the front window, cheeks burning hot, and chose to ignore Richie and focus on Sir-Mix-A-Lot and whatever trash Richie had put on this playlist and claimed it to be for him. Of course Richie Tozier would make a playlist that’s all overly sexaluized and dedicate it to him. It was just a joke to Richie, no doubt, but he really shouldn’t be doing those sort of things. The sort of things that got Eddie’s heart racing and brought up little twinges of hope in his gut that hurt him to snuff out before they grew into a problem.
Once Baby Got Back transformed into the second song on the playlist, Eddie decided that he wasn’t going to spend the entire six hour drive pretending to be mad at his best friend. They had easy conversation until the tape ended, and Eddie pulled it out. He flipped it over and moved to place back onto the second side when Richie smacked it out of his hand.
“NO!” He cried in an obvious panic. Eddie turned to look at him with wide eyes, cocking his head to the side and frowning. “I.. Uh… We should be able to get a radio station that goes from here until the house. We don’t need to listen to the other side.”
“Richie…” Eddie frowned deeply, looking towards the mixtape on the truck floor. “We’re still a good four hours away from the lakehouse! That’s at least two radio areas. What could be worse than the shitty music you put on the first side?”
“Nothing.” Richie grumbled, cheeks red and nose crinkled up in a scowl. “There’s nothing on it. It’s blank.”
“You recreated pretty strongly for a blank tape.” Eddie said, turning to Richie and frowning. Richie was staring out at the thick rain in front of them, the fog settling around the road. Richie didn’t answer for a long pause, and then gave a shaking exhale.
“Kaspbrak, I’m asking you to let this one go.”
Eddie didn’t get a chance to speak before there was loud rumbling noise from the front of Richie’s truck, and smoke quickly became visible coming from the front hood. Richie cursed under his breath and pulled the car quickly to the side of the road. Eddie watched his best friend get out from the truck and move to open the hood.
Eddie squirmed in his seat slightly, feeling an unnecessary guilt settle in his stomach. As a child, Eddie had often watched his father working on cars. It had been a favourite hobby of Frank Kaspbrak, and whenever Sonia wasn’t around, Eddie was go out into the garage and watch his dad work. Allowed himself to absorb the information his father would tell him, even at such a young age. Cars had fascinated Eddie just as much as they did Frank.
Richie had been complaining about his trucks functioning for awhile now, and Eddie had had a feeling all along that it was something simple that was wrong with it. Something that could have been fixed pretty easily, if Richie took it to get looked at. But Eddie had only mentioned his father a few times to his friends- and the car thing to Richie only once, the night they’d gotten drunk for the first time. He was sure that Richie didn’t even remember the story. It wasn’t as though Richie had ever asked Eddie to look at the truck or even imply that Eddie would have any idea what was wrong with it.
He watched Richie jumped back from the car, shaking his hand frantically, and Eddie rolled his eyes before stepping out of the car into the rain. He walked over to Richie and took hold of his obviously burned hand. It wasn’t bad, but it was already reddening. Likely wouldn’t blister, which was good. Eddie gave him an unimpressed look.
“Do you have any tools in this piece of junk?” Eddie asked, gesturing towards the truck. It already wasn’t smoking as badly, but that could have been from the rain. “Because you can’t just stick your bare hand in there and hope that works.”
“Awe, is my Eds going to fix my baby for me?” Richie beamed down at him, reaching out and ruffling Eddie’s already damp hair. Eddie swatted at Richie’s hand and glowered at him.
“No, asswipe. I don’t know how to fix a car.” Eddie snapped and Richie’s smile dropped into a look of confusion. His eyebrows knitted together and Eddie turned away. “And nobody is fixing anything if you don’t have tools.”
Richie shook his head slowly and moved to the back of the truck and came out with what was just a pair of scissors and a wrench. Eddie rolled his eyes again, and wiped the fringe of his hair away from his face. “Is that the best you got?”
Richie held his hands out in distressed gesture and stomps over to the truck with the ‘tools.’ He stared down at the vehicle with determination in his eyes and a deep frown on his face. It hit Eddie then that they were sitting on the side of the road, broken down truck, still several hours away from where they needed to be, and there was nowhere for them to go if this truck didn’t get moving again.
“This is stupid,” Eddie said, turning his face back up to the sky. Letting the rain fall onto his face as he squeezed his eyes shut. “I never should have come on this trip, my mother was right. This was a mistake.”
Richie turned to him slowly, an unreadable look on his face, as he clenched the wrench tighter in his hands.
“I don’t know why I bother trying,” Eddie said wetly, because once his brain started it spiralled down the darkest of holes. “She’s always right in the end, you know? I’m just… I’m fucking broken. And she knows it. I should’ve listened to her.”
Richie walked swiftly towards him, taking Eddie’s chin in his non-wrench holding hand and tugging Eddie’s gaze down and away from the sky. His eyes were burning deeply with a whole new level of seriousness that Eddie had never seen on Richie Tozier’s face before. “Eddie, I love you and I say this with all of the love in the world- shut the fuck up.”
Eddie gaped at him.
“You are not fucking broken, okay? Not even close.” Richie said, still cupping his face with one hand. He smiled then, rain drops dripping from eyelashes and nose. Eddie’s eyes trailed a single drop running down Richie’s cheek. “The only thing broken here is this fucking piece of shit truck from the 50s that my father ran into the ground before giving to me.” Eddie chuckled wetly, then smiled weakly up at Richie. Richie waggled his eyebrows. “And you’re going to fix it.”
Eddie’s mouth went dry. “No… I… what?”
Richie took his hand away from Eddie’s face, and grabbed Eddie’s hand. He pulled it up to lay flat-palmed between their bodies and dropped the wrench into it. “Fix it.”
“I don’t know how,” Eddie said quietly. Meekly. Richie cocked his brow and looked down at Eddie with a slight smirk. Eddie swallowed roughly and turned slowly towards the truck. He inhaled slowly and squared his shoulders. Richie’s fingers pushed on his, wrapping Eddie’s fingers around the wrench.
“Okay.” Eddie cringed as he had to wipe his oil slicked hands onto his shirt and he turned around to look at Richie, who was leaning against the truck hood with Eddie. His friend was utterly soaked through from the rain, water having making his hair resemble a wet dog and his heart jumped slightly. He shook the thoughts of Richie looking good while wet. He reached into the truck and turned the key. The sound wasn’t exactly flawless, but it was running and the truck wasn’t catching fire.
“Damn, Eds.” Richie whistled and grinned wolfishly. ‘You’re a little fucking mechanic, baby. I think we found your future calling!”
Eddie laughed, shaking his head. “I doubt that, Rich, but thanks. It’s not exactly fixed, you still are going to have to take it to a real mechanic. I’m not sure it’s even going to get us all the way to the lake.”
Richie looked at it thoughtfully. “Can it get us another 30 miles down the road? Because if I remember anything correctly about taking this trip, there’s a little trash motel there. We can check in, my mom gave me a credit card for emergencies, we can call Bill when we get there and get him to come get us there in the morning.”
Eddie crinkled up his nose. He’d never stayed in a hotel before, let alone some nasty hole in the wall motel off the highway. He didn’t have a chance to respond his distaste for the idea before Richie was cutting in. “Unless you want to sleep in the bed of my truck? Or risk driving all the way to the house?”
Eddie grumbled, pushed past Richie and got into the passenger seat. He could tell that Richie was smirking at the back of his head. Richie got into the driver's seat, still smirking, and they drove the rest of the way to the hotel in silence. It was already pushing nine at night by the time they started to check in, and Eddie stood away from Richie while he went through the process. He couldn’t really explain, even to himself, why he was mad at Richie. Not even to himself.
Richie seemed to have sensed Eddie’s darkened mood, because he didn’t say anything as he came over. He was holding the key to their room in his hands, and he took both his and Eddie’s bags from Eddie. He turned without a word, and walked towards the room. Eddie wrapped his arms around his middle and tried not to feel guilty about something he couldn’t explain to himself. Richie had done nothing except be supportive of Eddie today, and somehow it made Eddie want to give him the silent treatment. It made no sense, and Eddie hated it. Talking to Richie was one of his favourite things in the world, and he was pissed that his brain was taking it away from him.
Richie unlocked the door and Eddie stalled as he looked around. It was ugly printed and looked as though nobody had stepped foot in it since the 40s, but it was one double bed sitting in the middle of the room and pushed up against the wall. He stalled at the door to the room, remembering the feeling of Richie spooning him this morning and Eddie felt his heart start to race. Anxiety prickled at him and his hands started to tremble at his sides.
“Well, I’m tired.” Richie said a little stiffly. Eddie looked around the room and began to ring his hands. He knew that Richie wasn’t tired, they hadn’t even been awake for twelve hours. He was simply looking for an excuse to not have any conversation when Eddie was being weird, and he didn’t know if he appreciated it or if it made him sad.
“Okay” Eddie said softly, moving over to grab his pajamas. “I’ll sleep on the couch.”
“What?” Richie turned to look at him, frowning deeply and furrowing his brow. “Why would you sleep on the couch? There’s room in the bed.”
Eddie inhaled deeply. “We’re a little too old to sleep in the same bed. Don’t you think?”
“I, what…” Richie squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. “No, I don’t think! How are we too old for sharing the same bed? You slept in my goddamn bed yesterday!”
Eddie sighed. “I just… I don’t want to share the bed, okay? You don’t need to make a big deal about it.”
“I’m not making a big deal about anything,” Richie’s mouth dropped open. “Eddie, you must fucking hate staying in this motel, okay? I know it’s not ideal. Sleeping on that nasty couch is going to so much worse. I bet it hasn’t even been cleaned since 1965. If you really don’t want to share, you take the bed. It might not be amazing, but it’ll definitely be cleaner.”
“No.” Eddie said, trying to sound firm but hearing how it sounded like a whine. “I’ll sleep on the couch. Leave it alone, Richie, okay?”
Richie sat down hard on the bed, and his jaw was clenched. “Okay, Eddie. Fine. Whatever.”
Eddie gathered up his clothes from his bag and stepped towards the bathroom. “I’m going to change.”
Richie pursed his lips and said nothing as Eddie moved into bathroom. As soon as the door shut, Richie ripped off his shirt and jeans so he was wearing just his boxers and crawled into the bed. He hesitated for a moment, then threw the larger of the blankets towards the couch for Eddie and shut off the light.
Eddie came back in the hotel and blinked in surprise to find the room dark. He stepped a little closer into the room and closed it slowly behind him. “Richie?” He whispered quietly into the room, and his friend didn’t answer. He didn’t shift in the bed. Richie was not asleep, Richie Tozier had struggled to get to sleep for as long as Eddie knew him.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, maybe even too quiet for Richie to hear the words in the dark room. Maybe they never left his brain at all. He stepped towards the couch, and realized he couldn’t sleep there. He had too much pride to try to crawl into the bed with Richie, so he left the room. Nasty hotel blanket in one hand, Richie’s truck keys in the other.
He ran to the truck, the weather still raining, He got into the truck and curled up into a ball on the passenger seat. It was cold and the sound of the rain was soothing, and Eddie felt maybe he could sleep here. Then his eyes fell to the mix tape still left on the floor from when Richie had knocked it from his hands.
Don’t do it Kaspbrak, Eddie’s brain screamed at him. Richie didn’t want you to hear the other side of that tape! He asked you to let it go. Let it got. But Eddie had already picked up the tape and was starting up the truck so he could put it into the player.
The first song came on, and it was no Baby Got Back. It was much slower, having a good, slow pace. He rested his head against the window with the blanket wrapped tightly around him.
In the instant that you love someone, in the second that the hammer hits. Reality runs up your spine, and the pieces finally fit.
Eddie was crying by the end of that first song. The blankets pressed over his mouth to muffle how he was sobbing. His heart had shriveled in his chest as he heaved out heavy breaths.
And all I ever needed was the one. Like freedom fields where horses run. When stars collide like you and I. No shadows block the sun. You’re all I’ve ever needed. Baby, you’re the one...
As the first song came to an end, Eddie quickly ejected the tape and tossed it back to the floor. He wiped frantically at the tears on his face, and wondered for one second that Richie was pulling some terrible, terrible joke on him. The cruelest prank of all the time.
And then he remembered.
Richie hadn’t wanted him to hear the tape.
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hello friends !! thank you all for the lovely welcomes; i’m in the process of replying to them now, but please forgive me if i’m a little slow. this is not my first time here in cc as a mun, but it is minki’s first run as a muse and i’m super excited to start playing him here ! a bit of general info: he’s 21 years old, a magical hero, a student at pusan national university ( dance major ) and a rookie idol - specifically, one of the members of miracle era ( stylized as m.ea ) under the stage name ren. if you ask him, he’ll say he’s the most important member of the group but, you know, he’s biased. in a nutshell, he’s on the bratty side of things, confident, slight attention whore, and a combo of loud, rambunctious, and fun-loving. he takes his idol image pretty seriously but he’s also periodically an asshole, so his two sides are constantly in conflict.
i would love to plot all the things for him uwu i have a few plot ideas under the cut but i’m also always open to brainstorming either here or on twitter !! you can also like this post and i’ll slide into your ims but... i think that’s it for now ?? pls love me.
SMOL PLOT IDEAS:
you’ve been a closet m.ea fan since debut and you always try and play it cool around me but i low key caught you being an embarrassing fan once and i’m starting to catch on
you know i’m an idol even though you’re not really a fan but you always look at me like i’m some kind of science experiment you’d love to study and i’m getting tired of it like, can you back the fuck off?
alternatively, you have no clue i’m an idol and i never bothered to tell you so whenever i make vague excuses about being busy, you ask me if i’m batman or something and get confused whenever we run into a fan
i stole your seat in the library during exam season once and you vowed to have your revenge on me for it and now you’re going to get it - somehow you got an unflattering picture of me that could damage my image and i’ll do anything to keep you from posting it on the internet
i barely show up to class and always ask to borrow your notes and you’re really getting tired of always covering for me but please, i really need this and i’ll give you whatever you want in return
i use the film club as an excuse to watch a lot of movies and since i hate the idea of watching a movie alone, i always drag you along to the theatre with me and pay for your ticket & popcorn ( but these aren’t dates, okay?)
we started dming on twitter late one night when i couldn’t sleep and bonded and now we talk to each other all the time but we still haven’t met face to face even though you apparently live nearby
we’re both rookie heroes but i couldn’t care less about training and shit while you’re a hardass who is determined to whip me into shape because i ‘drag the team down.’ well, good luck buddy.
we became friends after i joined the league and you’re just about the only hero i can stand to work with because i don’t really trust anyone to watch my back except for you
we take care of a stray cat together except i’m allergic and spend 90% of my time sneezing and miserable when i’m around it... so it’s mostly you taking care of the cat and me financing its food and watching the two of you from afar. still, we’re family now. kind of
i accidentally cut myself on something and now i’m bleeding like fucking crazy but i don’t really seem to realize or feel it while you’re freaking out and trying to convince me to take care of it and go to the doctor
we went drinking together and had a #wild night but it’s morning now, we’re both hungover and can’t remember what the fuck happened. also, no one has an answer for the goat in the living room
i’m working out for a comeback and i hate it and i swear to god you only come to gym to mock and/or laugh at me. oh wait, you want to help me work out? i’m suspicious but desperate so, sure
we became friends before i became an idol and now we don’t talk a lot but you’re still the first person i call or go to whenever something big and important happens in my life. i also crash at your place whenever i want to get away and never do the dishes ( you’re tired of it but you love me )
i have a habit of wandering around at night because of my insomnia. i don’t know what your deal is, but i don’t like being alone so i usually cling to you and follow you around whenever i see you after hours
OTHERS: obligatory best friend, enemies, crushes, drinking buddies, neighbours,younger brother figures, exes, other people in the idol industry, dude i like your hairstyle, etc. anything and everything you can think of, come at me with it.
FIRST TIMELINE: i, an angst hoe, would love to plot out some angsty first timeline relationships & encounters so pls hmu if you’re also into that
#( out of charm . )#( i don't know how to write intros anymore i'm sorry )#( i tried! )#( i love everyone in this bar )
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