#my muse was also absolute trash recently

[baejax-the-great]

Hi! I just wanted to combat that anon (fuck them btw) and say I ADORE your fics.

I’ve plagued everyone to tears in my life over broken oaths and water in the dawn. Your premises never fail to go hard asf. And your prose? It absolutely baffles me how you write so fast when the quality is just next level, and your characterisation of patrochilles? Ugh it scratches such an itch in my brain, you just Get Them.

I recently logged into my ao3 to read sweet victory and realised most of your fics have availability set to logged in users only. Omg I was like a kid on christmas. I have so much reading to do!!!

Your work is incredible, and brings me so much joy. Have a great day!

Hey, thank you! (but also don't worry about that anon. Pretty sure I know who that is and they have a very weak understanding of appropriate behavior (or how to get under my skin for that matter))

Patrochilles crawled into my brain and sleeps there. Prior to them, I can't say I had much interest in Greek myth. I played Hades, someone suggested I read tsoa, I read the Iliad, became obsessed with Ajax somewhere in the middle of that, and two years later, here we are (366k words on the archive???). I like to joke that the muses still wake up every few years and target a random person with "Okay, it's your turn to make sure his glory is eternal like we promised" and then go back to sleep. And possibly the one I got was confused and hit me with the Ajax beam, too.

I also think when Troy (2004) came out, the muses had to work overtime to fix that egregious error

I'm mostly joking. I tend to think of these Greek heroes as the OG comic book characters. Over the years, so many authors have taken a crack at them with their own biases, preferences, and interpretations. Some shit gets retconned. Some new stuff gets canonized. People debate over it. Except those debates end up on jstor instead of reddit or twitter or whatever.

Obviously, though, as one of the current people writing about these guys, I'm right and my cultural biases have no role in influencing my perfect understanding of their characters (/s).

It was interesting going from Hades game, where Patroclus is so snarky and dry, to the Iliad, where when he finally speaks, it's to literally cry with tears streaming down his face to Achilles. I was thinking to myself, well, I'm fine with Supergiant inventing this part of him and I'll keep it for myself. And then he had the best trash talk of all the Achaeans. I had actually put my book down to text a friend "the trash talk in this book absolutely sucks; humans clearly didn't have that down yet" and then the next line was Patroclus telling everyone to shut the fuck up because he was with me on that one. And then he wrecks Hector's shit verbal-style while blind and dying. Love that guy.

Anyway this is all to say many interpretations are good! Except for Troy (2004) and the one where Achilles considered Patroclus his mommy. It's cool to see how people take small details from a 3k yo book and turn it into full characterizations. Less cool to learn just how badly Ajax's original story got warped. I'm super happy these guys inspired me to write so much in the past couple years and that the fandom has honestly been one of the most interesting and engaged that I've come across.

As for the archive-lock, I tend to keep my active WIPs open to guest readers and then lock them after they've been finished for a little while. It's probably not terribly effective, but my hope is this limits some of the constant scraping being done of the archive.

[medali-meltdown]

✨Hassel headcanons✨ (the man has a vice grip on my brain right now in November 2023 so let's do this)

-Mid-40s and somehow not a grey hair in sight. Dye? Youthful genes? Life's mysteries.

-Sprinkles his speech with German words, childhood habit that's too hard to break now. Freely calls his beloved liebling (Brassie melts every time 🥺)

-Ridiculously talented at anything he creates, not limited to just music and art. Composes lovely poetry since he's naturally musically inclined and in touch with his feelings. Fantastic cook since he can pour his whole heart into it. Frequently makes lavish meals to share with Brassius (who lives like a trash goblin, that's a headcanon post for another time :3c)

-Spent a great deal of his adult life trying to compromise his family's standards and expectations with his own interests, and was very repressed because of it. Maintained an air of proper decorum as befitting a teacher worthy of respect. Once he hit 40 he threw all this out the window, as it was making him chronically miserable, and vowed to live authentically from now on (he's much happier for it, he is cringe but he is free).

-But still, because old habits die hard, he speaks (and writes) very eloquently and educated. At first glance you think he's the refined type. This assumption flies out the window the moment he experiences An Emotion.

-Speaking of repressed, he's not been with many partners at all. It probably took him a long time to come to terms with his sexuality. Now that he does things in earnest he tends to growl like a dragon in bed. And claw. Proper gentleman in the streets, feral fire-breather in the sheets (it drives Brassie absolutely wild 👀💦💦)

-Will hop on dragonback and fly to a friend's aid over the slightest thing. If Saguaro mentions in the group chat that he's out of sugar, you can bet Hassel will arrive posthaste with two bags of sugar because Arceus forbid his fellow teacher and good friend go without his sweets!!

-This is doubly true for Brassius's sake. If Hassel gets any hint that his Brassie is sick, sad, or just having an off day, he will be there. In a heartbeat. Looking extremely intense or almost angry at the doorstep, but he's really just determined to make his closest friend in the world feel better. "What do you need? >:|" "Um... I'll be fine, Hass, don't trouble yourself—" "Tell me what I must do for you, dear Brassie. [takes hands]"

-I haven't decided yet if Hass & Brassie have known each other for decades since attending school, or more recently due to the Paldea League. Certainly they've been friends for at least a few years, based on Brassie's story. And I love the fanart of them interacting as students... long haired Brassie... in love with his muse for literal years...... 🥺 (please let me know if anything in the game confirms this)

-Hassel has met Iris and dotes on her. Fellow dragon princess. He is her cool and silly surrogate uncle 💜

-Stolen from Reddit just now, losing my mind: "Also hassaku appears hard due to its thick skin, and it feels a little bitter at first, but once bitten into it's very sweet… I love the meaning behind his name." hhhhhhh I'm so normal rn

[magicalshe]

in honor of y'all liking that Doris has sticky fingers, you get some hcs about it.

Doris loves and I mean loves to steal. It gets her heart racing and lets her feel both powerful and in control in those moments, which she desperately craves. It also helps her wallet since this girly is about sustainability and frugality.

She started stealing when she was 13 to get back at her the girls bullying her in boarding school. Some of the things she kept if she could use them without being caught. But, a lot of it she tossed in the old trash incinerator behind the school so it would be burnt with the rest of the combustible trash.

Dottie in no way looks like someone who has sticky fingers. She is honest and very happy-go-lucky. So she is a bit embarrassed about her ... 'bad habit' as she'll refer to it.

SHE HAS RULES FOR HERSELF AND THEY ARE THE FOLLOWING: (1. Do not take anything obvious, that would be easily missed, or has sentimental value to someone since it is the quickest way to get caught. (2. Do not take anything above a certain size because pockets and tiddy cleavage can only hide so much. (3. Do not steal from the same place until two to six months have passed unless absolutely necessary as it helps lower your chance of being caught as a serial offender. (4. Do not brag about it, but if asked, be honest since some people don't enjoy receiving stolen goods as gifts. (5. If you are going to steal while out with someone, do not make a move until you know for sure they aren't a snitch. (6. No magic unless in the case of being caught to get away safely. (7. Never feel bad about stealing from big corporations or rich assholes.

The rules she is most likely to break are 1 and 5 depending on the circumstances.

The queen of 'skip scanning' at self-checkouts.

Stealing is the main reason she is a 'sports bra over wire bra' person. With a sports bra, there is more room and the stolen objects are also more secure. Also, she has like 36 DD or DDD (american sizing standard) breasts so she can fit a lot in there if need be. She can literally fit a whole wine bottle in her boobs.

She really does call it the 'five-finger discount'.

You can always, always tell when she has stolen something recently because she has a little more bounce in her step and is much more aggressive and playful.

About 70% of the wool and yarn she has is stolen. So ... those knitted goods you all like to get from precious Dottie and all those bags and clothing she makes herself? Yeah, they are made with stolen yarn but she doesn't consider them as 'stolen goods' since she made the actual object.

About 90% of the vintage perfume bottle collection and crystals she has are stolen because those things are pricey as heck.

Also ... you know those times when your muse goes shopping with Dot and they show interest in something but don't get it then the next day she gives it as a gift to your muse? She stole that, my dudes. She stole it that very day, probably when your muse's back was turned. The reason she gives it the next day is to not seem suspicious.

If you reprimand her for stealing she'll probably cry but it's out of a place of you being angry with her or embarrassed that you caught her rather than genuine remorse since she doesn't feel bad about stealing.

[hvbris]

For muns with multiple muses, past and present, on any blog.

Rules: Fill out the form according to which muse suits each title best. (The same muse can have multiple titles.) Repost and tag. Feel free to add more!

Favorite Muse: Fish will always have a special place in my heart (I mean she even has her own blog lol)

Most Character Development: Salomé has changed a lot since I added her, she got more vulnerable and deep, with more flaws. But for a recent muse, that would be Cassia. We are given ZERO in canon, so it was really interesting to develop her personality, how she evolves, etc

Trash Muse: .... Fox Mulder...

The Meme-Lord: Eve & Noah, by far. They basically communicate with their dad by sending him memes. Even when he's in prison.

Most Likely to Start a War: I mean, Lord Voldemort is at the top of the list for sure. He actually started like two wars fdjkshjkfds and perhaps Lucretia, since she's an officer of the army lol

Worst Personality: LORD VOLDEMORT OBVIOUSLY, this man is the Absolute Worst ™

Best Singer: Lucy Gray Baird, of course ❤

Most Attractive Muse: hard to pick tbh, but I'll say Fish, Lucretia & Morticia (I LIKE TALL AND STRONG WOMEN OK)

Biggest Heart: Olive and Tigris for sure

Falls in Love Quickest: Ava, probably, but that's because of all the romantic movies she watches all the time

Most Likely to Drop Their Phone in the Toilet: OH DIMITRI FOR SURE, but then again he might just throw it on purpose because he hates technology

Ice Ruler: Lucretia 😎 Snow lands on top, etc etc, and of course Salomé

The Edgelord: Lord Voldemort dshjkdkshjdjkqsdqs and obviously Wednesday

Most Tragic Backstory: Codrin, Lucy Gray, and Eve & Noah. But a lot of my muses have tragic backstories fdksjfdks it's hard to pick

Best Case of Puberty: All of them tbh??? If I have to pick just one, April

Most Awkward: Brook, probably

Busy Bee: Fish, Clarice, and Lucretia are absolute workaholics

Most Clueless: Eleven and Ava, but I mean they grew up in a lab

Most Likely to Forget Their Wallet at Home: Mulder probably

Best Dressed: Tigris obviously!!!! But also Effie and Cassia

Biggest Flirt: Captain Hook is really a terrible flirt, Fish & Deirdre too

Most Dramatic: I have so many drama queens!! It's a tie between Caesar, Hook, and Voldemort

Least Likely to Show Up Late: Lucretia. Tardiness is practically a vice in her eyes

One with Weirdest Habit: Codrin hugs trees :)

Most Likely to Be Caught at the Gym: Fish and Clove work out the most

tagged by @countlessrealities (thank you ❤️) tagging: @ladiesandwitches @lovepurposed @omniishambles @contriite @unfinishedbusincss @thenightmareofyourdrems @versin-surfin @fallsekings and YOU! tag me if you do it :)

[packetofsuga]

Kiss of Death - Corpse Fic

Prompt: “He’s a bad kisser” 

Backstory: Y/N is a streamer and secretly dating Corpse, not even their friends know. Other than Dave, of course. They’re playing proximity chat among us with Valkyrae, Toast, Sykkuno, Pewdiepie, JackSepticeye, Pokimane, Ludwig, and Dave (boyinaband). 

Genre: Fluff + humor 

Content warning: Light swearing

Word Count: 1631

A/N: Okay. First of all, writing an author’s note really threw me back to my Wattpad days but, anyway. I just wanna say feel free to send little prompt requests in my ask box for fics. I won’t write smut, I know I have for kpop artists in the past and I may write smut again in the future but for now, it’s a hard no for all fics. I will write mainly for Corpse Husband, Valkyrae, BTS, and Dream Catcher. Possibly other YouTubers or kpop groups just ask and I’ll let you know! I also will write for some book fandoms, I can’t list all of them so again just ask, please. I’ll get to requests whenever I can so please be patient while waiting. 

Until then please enjoy the random prompts I’ve found that I thought would be cute :) 

Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction

You were playing among us with your friends and your boyfriend, as usual. The only difference was you were using the proximity chat mod which you had never done before. Because you guys were using that mod every time Corpse got imposter he was doing his “kiss of death” thing. 

As you loaded into the game you saw the word crewmate pop up on your screen. Everyone started joking about being a crewmate or imposter and you chuckled to yourself. “I am just a crewmate doing crewmate things. I am doing keys, because I am just a crewmate.” You stated while walking over to the keys task, knowing that you don’t even have keys this round. 

“Y/N’s faking keyyysss.” Poki called. 

“She’s just reminding everyone to fake keys, guys, everyone fake keys right now,” Sean said, moving his character on top of yours in front of keys. The was a chorus of agreements as almost everyone did the same. Once that was done you split off from the group. 

“Guys… I think it’s Poki, she didn’t fake keys.” You said to your chat, laughing to yourself. You went around doing your tasks. You came across Sykkuno in O2, “Hey Sykkuno, whatcha doing?”

He paused in the doorway of the tree room, “Oh! hi Y/N. I’m uh just doing my tasks.” 

You cleared the trash shoot, “Oh yeah? Just a crewmate doing crewmate things?” 

Sykkuno giggled, “Uh, yep. Just doing crewmate things. Hey, you- you wanna stand on this vent with me?” 

You hesitated, knowing there’s absolutely no way for you to figure out if Sykkuno is just being himself or is actually the imposter, “I- You know what yes I would love to Sykkuno.” You walked into the tree room.

“Oh- really? That… Was very enthusiastic.” The two of you walked onto the vent by the tree, stacking on top of each other, “You’re not the imposter, right? You’re not gonna kill me. 

“Oh, of course not, Sykkuno. I mean, you know, maybe.” You love making yourself look extra suspicious to him because that’s how he plays, “Here. I’ll click the spot where the kill button is and we’ll see what happens, okay?” 

“Oh, Jesus-” He gasped. 

You clicked the spot on the screen, “Hear me clicking?” You both laughed.

“Uh yeah I do, that means it can’t be you huh?” He said, “Here I’ll do it too.”  

You yelped a little as the body reported screen came up, scaring you. 

“I thought I just fucking died.” You said, trying to calm your breathing.

“Honestly, me too.” Sykkuno said, “There’s so many people dead.” 

Poki reported the body and the screen showed that Toast, Sean, and Dave were dead, “So Rae and I just walked up on Toast’s body. And I don’t think it’s Rae, I’ve been with her for a good chunk of this round.” 

“Soo it could be both of you.” You pointed out. 

“Why are you susing me right now??” Poki exclaimed. 

“You didn’t fake keys!” You yelled. 

“She’s right!” Pewds yelled, remembering that from the beginning of the round, “What the fuck, Poki?” 

Corpse laughed, “That’s a little sus Imane.” 

Poki laughed, “I can’t believe I’m getting sussed cause I didn’t fake a task.” 

“Anyways, I think it’s Rae and Poki. It definitely couldn’t have been Sykkuno, we were chilling on a vent.” You stated. Corpse hummed to himself. 

Sykkuno vouched for you, “Yep that’s true. And we did a foolproof test so it’s not either of us.” 

“What was the test?” Lud asked 

“Well, we both clicked the kill button and neither of us are dead, so.” Sykkuno pointed out. 

“You clicked the kill button?” Rae asked, “Wait, so you’re both imposters? You clearly can’t kill each other if you’re imposters.” 

You sighed, “I don’t know why Sykkuno had to say it like that but we clicked where the kill button should’ve been and nothing happened. So it’s not us.” 

“So there’s two pairs.” Corpse mused to himself. 

Pewds brought his mic really close to his mouth, “Get ‘em out of here.” 

You yelled over him, “Hold on hold on, it’s seven we can’t vote on seven. Kind of sus that you’re pushing to vote on seven.” 

“I’m not sus you’re sus.” He declared.

“Let’s skip, I’m gonna stay with Sykkuno and protect him.” Lud announced as the ‘I voted’ sticker popped up next to his name. Everyone started voting to skip. 

“If Ludwig dies it’s Sykkuno.” Pewds concluded as the timer ran out. 

“What???” Sykkuno wailed. You quickly ran to go to Lab on your own, afraid of Rae and Poki. 

Rae walked behind you into Lab, “ Ahhh- Hi please don’t kill me.” 

“No no no I would never,” Rae said, making her voice sound sarcastic on purpose as you guys walked into decontamination. You started to scream dramatically. 

“Heeeeeeelp. Heeeeellppp! She’s gonna kill me.” You pushed your character into the door to specimen, desperately waiting for it to open.  Once it finally did you rushed down into specimen and she ran after you. You ran around specimen with her chasing after you.

“Stop running. Y/N. Y/N! Hey- Stop running!” She yelled after you.

“Nooooo.” Corpse walked into specimen from the bottom and stood off to the side watching the two of you, “Coooorpse, protect me.” You yelled. He moved his character between you and Rae. 

“Yeah, uh, of course. I’ll protect you don’t worry.” He said. Rae stopped in front of him. 

“I said I wasn’t gonna kill you Y/N.” She insisted. 

You fake cried a little, “You didn’t say you couldn’t kill me though! Corpse, please. Wait-” You realized Corpse could 100% be the imposter right now, “Corpse… It’s not you is it?” 

“No no, I’m gonna protect you.” He promised. 

“....Does that mean it’s you but you’re gonna kill Rae to protect me?” You asked. They both laughed and Rae backed away from Corpse. 

“She knows too much Corpse, she knows too much!” Rae yelled. You started to scream for help again and run around. 

“Hey hey hey, relax.” Corpse said, following you. You ran towards bottom decontamination, getting stuck at the door again, “Don’t worry. Y/N, shhh. It’s okay, just-” He made a smooching noise and the kill animation popped up on your screen. 

You let out a shriek. “I can’t believe- Well, hi chat.” You giggled and started reading the chat again, “‘You got a kiss from Corpse, how do you feel?’ He’s a really bad kisser, guys. I mean it, did you see that? He kissed me and then STABBED me. An awful kisser.” You shook your head. A body was reported and the meeting screen popped up. They discussed yours and Poki’s death Corpse and Rae vouching for each other and Lud and Sykkuno vouching for each other, leaving Pewds the only one without an alibi and got him voted out. The defeat scream popped up showing Rae and Corpse as the imposters. 

Corpse POV

Before joining the lobby again he decided to read chat for a second and talk to his fans. “I’m sorry I can’t really look at chat that much while we’re doing this mod it’s just hard cause everyone can hear you, you know.” He read through the recent super-chats, thanking people as he went. He quickly scanned the rest of the chat. People were spamming that Y/N had called him a bad kisser, “Wait- she- Y/N said what??” He joined the lobby, “Y/N what the fuck?” 

“What’d I do??” Y/N questioned.

“Did you really tell your chat I’m a bad kisser? Why are you lyyyying?”  

“I-” The whole group started gasping and talking over each other, “I meant in the game! You- everyone shut up oh my god please-” 

“Okay okay okay, let her talk guys. Try and talk your way out of this Y/N.” Corpse chuckled. 

“Okay, before I get myself into a scandal. In-game, before you killed me, you gave me a little kiss. Then my chat was like how do you feel and I was like you know what, that was an awful kiss I died from it.” 

“Ohhh, that makes sense.” Corpse said. 

“Wait!” Rae interrupted, “What else would she have to go off of other than in-game?…” There was a long silence. 

Corpse was the one to break the silence. “You know what, gamer bladder. Bathroom break.” Everyone laughed and reluctantly agreed. 

Y/N POV

You tried to stay calm and talk to your chat about any other topic but your chat was going insane speculating about you and Corpse. 

Corpse came into the room and you quickly held up one finger off-camera to tell him to wait a second. 

“Uh, hold on just a second guys.” You muted your headphones and took them off. You started to work on turning your webcam off but he reached over and grabbed the arm of your chair, rolling it towards him. 

You squealed, “Corpse! What are you doing?”

“I’m a bad kisser, huh? I’m a bad kisser?” He started peppering your face with kisses. You giggled. He planted his hands on the armrests of your chair, practically trapping you in place. He raised an eyebrow at you, a smirk plastered on his lips, “Hmm?” 

You cupped his face and kissed him. He started to pull you closer to him but you pulled back, “No, you’re not a bad kisser, baby. You’re the best kisser.” He kissed you again and then went back to his filming room. You slid your chair back to your computer, pretending as if nothing happened. You put your headphones back on and scanned the chat. There were a couple of people being like we saw that hand but you ignored it and continued playing.

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Modern Setting Masterlist

A Drink To Calm The Nerves (ao3) - obsessivechild

Summary: Dan has a big crush on a guy he has recently met and when that guy invites him to a “party”, nerves settle in Dan’s stomach. Phil’s just so nice to him.

A Taste of Myrrh (ao3) - imsorryimlate

Summary: Dan falls in love with Phil, who happens to be a celibate priest. Great.

Be My Muse (ao3) - t_hens

Summary: Love, Simon AU

Do it for the ‘gram (ao3) - RachelIsWriting

Summary: Dan is Phil trash number one (with a popular stan tumblr to show for it) after a surprise meeting in the local coffee shop that Dan visits purely for the aesthetics they bond over PSL’s and maybe find a little snapshot of happy along the way.

for a good time call... (ao3) - t_hens

Summary: Dan works in a call center for a sex hotline and gets a call from a guy who is just lonely and wants to talk to someone because he's new in town. they hit it off, much to Dan surprise.

he's even more surprised to find the same guy is his new neighbor Phil, who he might just have a bit of a crush on.

High (ao3) - Icandigelvis

Summary: Just the ordinary story of Dan and Phil, except one little detail. Phil isn't human in this one. Expect biting, bickering, playlist live, blood, bad jokes and sex.

Ignorance is (definitely not) bliss (ao3) - RachelIsWriting

Summary: After Dan surprises Phil by agreeing to his stupid fake relationship plan to impress the bosses at his company we spend the week with them in New York. Where Phil tries desperately to think of everything but Dan, and Dan tries everything he can to make sure that doesn’t happen.

I Still See You (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Dan and Phil have been best friends since they were kids, they've always been there for each other. And even now, despite Dan's schizophrenia, Phil is still there for him. In the worst of times, Phil's love is the one things that can bring Dan back to reality and remind him of what is real and what isn't. Phil will never leave Dan, no matter what happens, and Dan will always see Phil, even if it's not real.

i wanna fall so in love (with you and no one else) (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: after so many failed attempts at romance, phil’s ready to just quit and become a spinster. enter dan howell, a sarcastic and crude editor that may or may not be flirting with an oblivious dumbass...

Just a Magical Hermit (ao3) - TheDyingRedRose

Summary: Daniel, a Magic craftsman and hermit has never enjoyed the concept of soulmates. Shame he had to find one on a dreaded day out.

Networking (ao3) - t_hens

Summary: Phil isn't expecting much out of the temporary job he gets at his local insurance company; a steady paycheck, a chance to make some business connections, maybe turning it into a full time position? Mostly just something to get his parents off his back for the next few months until he can figure out his next move. What he certainly isn't expecting is Dan Howell; the terribly cute guy who is definitely flirting with him and also in some sort of uncertain terms his boss. How will Phil navigate his blossoming feelings for someone who is most definitely off limits?

Paris Never Felt So Euphoric (ao3) - t_hens

Summary: Dan is a wealthy heir who is bored of the party life in California so he takes a spontaneous trip to Paris where he meets a mysterious architect named Phil. Older, fun, and mature, he is the opposite of everything Dan is used to. Could a stranger and spontaneous trip be exactly what Dan needs?

Speedos and Spikes (ao3) - QuietConspiracy

Summary: Three-time Olympian Phil Lester of Team Great Britain is headed to Rio, determined to focus on the podium and not let anything - or anyone - get in his way.

So why is it, then, that he can't get his (absolutely gorgeous) roommate out of his head?

The Head and The Heart (ao3) - selinawrites

Summary: The seemingly heartless workaholic Dan Howell never expected to find love. A divorce lawyer by trade, he knew all the cynics of the heart, all the secrets of the soul. He never expected one night looking up at the stars to awaken the reckless abandon and rebellion he never felt before, Dan Howell never expected to find love, nonetheless in a plant shop of all places whilst making impulsive decisions and unlocking truths he never fathomed to believe.

the magic of you (ao3) - CapriciousCrab

Summary: In love with his best friend for years but afraid to risk their friendship, Dan pushes his feelings aside in order to keep Phil in his life. But what happens when a series of events and a little magic change things forever?

why did you steal my cotton candy heart? (ao3) - hedgehogtongues

Summary: He pulls out a fake bouquet of flowers from behind his back, three of them. Pink, blue and yellow. Sunflowers, they seemed to be, and Phil’s beam practically is one. He passes them to Dan, who is gushing completely, cheeks stained pink.

‘Phil, how did you even get these?’

Phil’s smile turns cocky, ‘My grandma was psychic, I think, so I’m like all magic and stuff. Hence the fact I’m a magician.’

or the one where dan's a moody carnival worker and phil's a popular magician.

[smokedanced]

@virmireisms​ sent thingies from a meme

🤔 — what genre(s)/theme(s) do you struggle to write the most? :: as much as i love action scenes, i struggle to write them because it’s hard for me to keep track of where muses are - physically? like don’t get me wrong i will absolutely write action scenes, i just have to like, extra pay attention! in general, i don’t really visualise well, my imagination is not very visual based, and my spatial awareness is shitty, and this combination makes it hard to keep track of muses’ bodies. no matter how much attention i try to give it, this leads to hilarious stuff like accidentally writing in an extra arm or something. me struggling with that doesn’t mean i don’t enjoy writing it though.

💻 — how many friends have you made in the rpc? feel free to tag a few of them! :: i’ve always found it very difficult to determine whether i am friends with a person or not. partially because i’m autistic but partially just because there are several words for “friend” in my first language and it’s harder to use the english word because i feel like it’s too all-encompassing (in finnish it’s more like there’s a word for mate/pal and then a close friend and i find that easier). i’ve certainly made way too many friends in the more casual sense to start tagging people (i get worried that i might forget someone and upset people), but as for really close friends? i don’t make those easy, and i think the only very close friend i’ve made in the rpc is lexi ( @anderwhohn​ / @immortaljackal​ / @vortexparadox​ / @starkastichotmess​ ). for context, i only have one other really close friend, period, unless you also count literally my partner, who, yes, is also my best friend, but they’re my partner too. either way we didn’t meet in the rpc, in fact i introduced them to tumblr rp (they’d roleplayed on different platforms forever) after we started dating in 2019, but i gotta special mention orion ( @lovepurposed​ ) because i love them.

😗 — what are some of your favorite things to do when you have some time to yourself? :: i read a lot. like a fuck tonne. all kinds of books, fiction and nonfiction both. occassionally write fanfic though i prefer rp. play video games. watch things. i recently got into video editing. i like to study/learn things. i also spend a lot of time just resting/doing mindless things like scrolling social media and watching trash tv etc because executive dysfunction/disability.

[monday-headache]

Tagged by both @frankenjoly and @laianely. Awwww, thank you so much guys ;) I’m happy to volunteer. And I know I’m late with this response, sorry for that.

what's your all-time favourite ship?

Oh boy that is a tough cookie to answer... Do you mean like in generall or from what I have written? Let’s do both, so I’m safe XD

Written:

Rhysha (obviously)

Scarleona (You can’t expect me to create a whole ship dynamic and not gosh about it ;) )

Generall:

Rhysha

Kat/Raven

Wrightorth

BBRae (got hooked into them after a comic of them dropped recently)

Chenrich

Side not, I absolutely do love Ships like Gaigel, Zaneisha, Erin/Zane, and a wagonload more. I’m ship trash XD

how many works do you have on ao3?

So far it’s 4. I’m still a latebloomer as a fic author so to speak. I just started at the end of last year, when my friend @michellespenscratchz gently pushed me into the cold water of writing fic XD

what's your total ao3 word count?

25254 at the moment. Less that I would’ve liked to have, but also more than I expected lol

what are your top five fics by kudos?

I dunno how to answer that to be honest, since I only have 4 fics so far...

Also my 5 favorites or the Top 5 in terms of recognition? Let’s do it real quick for statistics sake:

Strays of the Pack

Zane’sational Encounter

Star of the Bounty Down

Wild Misfortune

do you reply to comments, why or why not?

Uuuuh, YES. I mean is there anyone who doesn’t like getting comments? No jokes aside, but I absolutely jump my seat, when someone comments on my work (art stuff included) And I sometimes write whole essays back to the people who gave their time to say something nice :D So yeah, I love it.

fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Half of my fics aren’t even finished. And the other two have either a  happy ending, or an open ending, so I’m gonna go skip that answer.

fic you've written with the happiest ending?

As for which story does have the happiest ending NOW, I’ma go with “Wild Misfortune”. And this may also be one of my favorite stories to write so far, cause of all the fun I had with it :D

do you write crossovers?

Well I did a little art trade for my friend @piaart named Zane’sational Encounter, if that counts? It’s still within the same borderlands universe, but the first time, I did something with another persons OC characters :D another Story I had an absolute blast with.

have you ever received hate on a fic?

Luckily never on a fic, no. I received some death threats a while ago, for liking Rhysha and supporting a friend. So there is that.

do you write smut? if so what kind?

Nah, I have to pass on that. I did two soft art pieces a while ago, but nothing really smutty or that naughty. I’m usually more focused on writing fluff and comfort.

have you ever had a fic stolen?  

Nope, Zilch.

have you ever had a fic translated?

Uhm, I’m technically a foreigner, and translate them in my head and write them out in english instead of my actual native tongue. Does that count?

have you ever co-written a fic before?

I volunteered and also had some very nice interactions with some Beta-Readers for me, and also I beta’d for a friend as well.

what’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Oh god, like every one of them right now XD I have a tight period of time lately, cause University is kicking but. But I will get there in time. I have some vacation for the next 2 weeks so I’m gonna focus and do more of the fun stuff, I didn’t had time before. I hope my beta’s still know who I am, after all this time XD

what are your writing strengths?

One of my biggest strengths is I think writing relations and dynamics, that no one dared to try. Heck I created 2 whole story Idea Headcanons on exactly this premis, even created a new ship :D And, when the muse kicks in I’m also very good at exploring braveness and psychological struggle. Chapter 2 and 4 of Strays of the Pac are my most well received chapters I’ve ever written so far, and I’m very proud of that.

what are your writing weaknesses?

Sometimes, I get the feeling, I’m writing a little too soft (not really child books soft, but...) I did pretty well on writing character interactions, and then when I look back into it, I go, it feels natural but not completely how they would interact in the game, which is almost impossible, cause the Borderlands universe is very weird to explain sometimes XD Also I’m not really that comfortable with writing anger, hate and such. My beta for Wild Misfortune had a pretty bad time, on one marshmallow scene, because of it.

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Like I mentioned earlier, all of my works are written in another language. As for the question: I like to think, that writing dialogue comes rather easy for me, and at this point I face pretty much the same struggles, I’d also have If I’m writing it in native tongue. There are some dialogue interactions that can be a mess to write, like anger/banter and proper angst (which doesn’t feel forced or predictable).

what was the first fandom you wrote for?

I began with the Borderlands fandom, almost a year ago (damn time flies) and sticked with it :)

what's your favourite fic you've written?

Like both @frankenjoly and @laianely, I like to skip that answer ;) I don’t wanna choose cause I love them all.

Thank you that was a total blast <3 As for tagging, I see that most of my mutuals were already been tagged by now, mmmh. I think I go with @annalyticall @ging-ler @heavybreathingcatt and @mauserfrau and @crimsonflame-and-goldenheart ;)

[strawbbfluff]

Hi jade!! I hope you're happy as always bcs you deserve so :). BTW if you want, an idea just came into my mind about natsu getting gang tickled by lucy's celestial spirit (loke, taurus, capricorn, gemini, etc), It'll be overwhelming for natsu & satisfying for lucy lmao. Since this fic will have several lers, it's okay if you wanna write it slowly :)

this took so effing long and if it’s bad it’s cause i was unmotivated the whole time😄👋🏻 thanks for the request though!

—

unfair // lee!natsu; lee!lucy; lers!celestial spirits

-> i didn’t feel comfortable with writing every celestial spirit, sorry💘

—

“nahahahahahatsu! i sahahahahahaid gehehehehet OFF!” lucy heartfilia shrieked, giggling hysterically as a certain pink-haired dragon slayer had her pinned to her bed, tickling her silly. how did this start, one may ask.

*10 minutes earlier*

“hey luce! i managed to snag another s-class ques- hey… you good?” natsu stopped in his tracks, after once again breaking into his best friend’s apartment. however, what he didn’t expect to see was her pouting on her bed, crumpled pieces of paper scattered around the floor. lucy only huffed.

“i just can’t write!” the blonde mage cried out, kicking her legs (quite adorably, but natsu would never admit that) and frowning. natsu quirked an eyebrow.

“oh yeah? why do you think that is?” the fire wizard questions, reaching down to pick up one of the pieces of paper. he opens it, dramatically clearing his throat as he reads,

“the magical mermaid braided her beautiful blue hair happily as she watched her pink pet fish swim.”

“…”

“…”

“yeah okay, this is pretty bad,” natsu admitted sheepishly, tossing the paper into the trash. lucy sighed, nodding before laying back, defeated. she just had no inspiration today.

“well, y’know what i think?” natsu mused, walking over to his best friend’s slumped figure.

“…hm?” the celestial wizard responds, looking up at him with curious chocolate orbs. they were soon squeezed shut in laughter as natsu started scribbling his fingers all over her sensitive torso.

“i think you need to smile more, lucy!” natsu chuckled, lucy’s giggles extremely contagious.

*present time*

*WHACK!*

natsu had gone flying across the room, landing on the floor with a loud thud. rubbing his head, he sat up with a groan.

“jeez, what was that for?” he whined, the bump on his forehead throbbing. lucy only shrugged and crossed her arms.

“don’t tickle me next time, you nerd!”

“did i hear my princess being punished?” a sudden monotone voice asked, startling both wizards. lucy whipped her head around to see virgo standing next to her bed. the blonde squeaked in surprise.

“virgo?! what are you doing here?” lucy exclaimed, having not summoned any celestial spirits recently. however, that wasn’t her only surprise. in the room was also aries, leo, gemini, AND scorpio! what the heck?!

“you haven’t summoned us in awhile, so we came to check up on you,” aries murmured shyly, “although it looks like you’re having fun.”

“i always love seeing my beautiful lucy smile like that,” loke flirted smoothly, smirking when lucy blushed like a schoolgirl.

“well, i’m honored that you guys came to check on me, but unfortunately i’m busy dealing with this dork,” lucy stated, motioning towards natsu. he smiled cheerfully.

“was just helping to cheer her up! and now that that’s finished, i’m hungry,” natsu responded, starting to get up and head to lucy’s kitchen, though he was stopped in his tracks by… another lucy?

“lucy?? you have a TWIN?!” the pink-haired boy gaped, a sweat drop appearing at his forehead. lucy facepalmed.

“no, it’s just gemini, you dummy,” she answered, smiling at her spirit friends. admittedly, she had missed them.

“we don’t think miss lucy should get to have all the fun!” gemini added, as a scorpion tail was quickly wrapped around natsu, holding him in place.

“yeah, what goes around comes around right?” scorpio said coolly, grinning at natsu’s mortified reaction. virgo stepped up and inspected him.

“tell me princess, is your boyfriend ticklish as well?” virgo inquired. both natsu and lucy went beet red at that, for different reasons.

“he’s not my boyfriend! and i dunno, why don’t you- huh,” lucy sidetracked, placing a finger to her chin in thought. natsu? getting tickled by her spirits? wait… that was perfect!

“yeah, actually i think he is! why don’t you guys test it out?” the blonde challenged mischievously, shooting a devilish grin at her friend. ohhhh, if looks could kill.

“guys guys, we can talk about this, it really doesn’t have to be this wahahahahahahahaHEHEHEHEHEY!” natsu squealed, bursting into adorable chuckles as the curious aries started wiggling her delicate fingers into the poor dragon slayer’s ribcage. leo quickly followed suit, finding a sensitive spot under natsu’s arms. gemini (still in lucy’s form) leaned down and started spidering behind his knees. virgo smiled, absolutely adoring punishment of any kind, while roughly kneading natsu’s hips. it’s safe to say he was quickly driven into ticklish hell.

meanwhile lucy was doubled over, laughing her head off as she watched her crush best friend get exactly what he deserved. in a blushy, giggly mess, natsu shouted over,

“LUHUHUHUHUCY! HEHEHEHELP ME OUT HEHEHEHERE!”

“no way! you tickled me for what… 10 minutes? yeah, i think you’ll be okay dealing with double that~”

[theodora3022]

Goddess(Yandere Mirio)

Posting again because weird internet connection last night ate it...

Pairing: (yandere?) Pro hero! Mirio x Villain? F!reader

Summary: You were once a powerful young hero with a wind quirk. After refusing Endeavor’s proposal, you were blacklisted from the hero community. Having no choice, you begun to work as an assassin. Slitting throats without hesitation as long as it is lucrative. That is when you run into Mirio, your former classmate again. You two were not close friends, although mirio is always friendly. He was ordered to take you down, so you expected a fierce fight. What you did not anticipate is how he invited you to come with him.

Notes: Yeah this is a Mirio take on the “Fairy” concept. I recently recieved a request for this, and I just want to say I am so happy you guys love this stupid little concept. Mirio still have his quirk in this fic, and Sir Night Eye is still alive. Reblogs are comments are greatly appreciated!!

You can also see this contains an pathetic attempt to write Endeavor, but I’m not cut out for that LMAO

Warnings: slight nsfw for hcs, abuse of power(not Mirio), stalking, non-con touching, suicide attempt, drugging

They say the loveliest angels make the cruelest demons, and my darling

You were so beautiful

Before they dragged you into hell.

“You’re going to regret this decision.” That was what Endeavor said when you hand him the resignation with a straight face. However, You do not feel any regret whatsoever. You stayed silent as you began to walk out of that damned office, that courrpted agency. Paying no mind the flame man’s burning gaze on your back.

When you first started at Endeavor’s agency, you were excited. As a fresh UA Graduate, it is unusual for a top hero like Endeavor himself to offer you a position as a sidekick. It almost feels too good to be true. Well, turns out it is.

Used to loose clothing, you were shocked when your boss requested you to change your hero costume to a tight bodysuit. Being the good employee you were, you obeyed without questions. Then there are those little things, how Endeavor seems to favor you over his other subordinates, how he finds excuses to keep you near him at all times, most alarmingly, how he looks at your breasts and hips when he thought you did not notice.

You had doubts, but your boss is the No.1 hero! How can he possibly have sexual desires for a little girl like you? So you choose to ignore those red flags and carried on. Until he cornered you against the office door one day, when you came to report a minor robber you took care of earlier.

That is when you realize how you naïve you were. “Fire and winds, they go well together don’t they? I’m sure a child with those two quirks would be a powerful hero.” “Don’t touch me!” You said, almost screaming. He was pressed to a corner of his office by sudden strong currents, banging on the bookshelf that occupies it. Several books fell off, but he did not seem to bother. Even with his strength Endeavor cannot move forward a step. That pissed off look scares you, but you did allow yourself to flinch despite your trembling hands.

“You have no idea how many woman would die for an oppertunity like this.” 

“Then go find them, Sir. Sorry but I will never accept this offer.”

And that is how you ended up as a sellsword, instead of a hero. You work to get paid.

Your friends use to muse about how your impeccable speed would be perfect for an assassin, and that is what you are now. Slithering in the shadows, taking life for gold. Heroes and villains alike commissioned you due to your stealthy quirk and your incredible speed.You would not exactly count yourself as a villain, although the LoV had made offers to you in the past. You walk in that grey area of society, neither good nor bad. After Endeavor blacklisted you, no agency dared to hire you. None of them are willing to evoke his wrath. This is all his plan to make you submit, to accept the position of his compliant trophy wife, his personal baby factory. But you did not give in, even that means rejections and pity from those other heroes.  At last when your saving run out, you took up the LoV’s commission offer. The pay is generous, and you were in need. It is a win-win deal. Ever since you have been taking up jobs from both sides as long as the pay is good.

Your fifteen-year-old UA freshman self would never imagine becoming an assassin, but here you are, shaking hands with Kurogiri as you take the rest of the payment. They wanted you to join them, but you politely declined. You liked Toga and Spinner well enough, but some heroic part of you still cannot stand the idea of becoming a villain.

Regardless of being a mercenary, you still have your principles and morals. Aside from those contracts, you never took a life. You would still give up your seat to pregnant and elderly on the train, still picking up trash in parks. After finishing a job, you would hum little melodies as you pull the hood of your sweater over your blood-stained hair, fly home, maybe getting groceries on the way. You are merciful at what you do, always strike one lethal blow so the target would have minimal pain. Life is not easy, but you are certain this is so much better then being trapped in a manor as a housewife. Occasionally, some sketchy bounty hunter would manage to get to you, although you can always outrun them.

Mirio has a problem. It was...about a mission, concerning you.

What lies on his desk, is a detailed file of you. You in the picture were still a hero back then, smiling at the camera. How can Mirio ever forget that sweet smile?

“If I’m not mistaken, (y/n) is your old schoolmate, correct?” “Yes, Sir.” “She has been lending strength to the League of Villains as a mercenary. That makes her a criminal, even though she takes up jobs from the commission as well. We need to get her back to our side, as her winds are strong, we cannot let the villains have that. Endeavor seem to be particularly enthusiastic about this idea, oddly. I think you should be the one to do it. You can pass through anything, even her winds. Find her, bring her back, use force if possible.”

Mirio always wondered what made you leave hero life, now he got the perfect opportunity to ask you! He has not seen you in forever, this could be a little cute reunion! To be perfectly honest to himself, Mirio had a minor crush on you back w in UA. But as students you both just focused on your studies, and he never confessed.

It took him a while to track down your whearabouts, but for Mirio it was not a hard task, as the Commission has your address of the bar you frequented to take up offers.

It was a cold night, you just finished a job in the rural area of Mustafu, cleansing your daggers in a little stream in the woods when he appeared before you. Damn, how did he approach you without the winds noticing?

To Mirio, how you crouch down by the stream, how your black clothes hugs every curve of your body and especially how you focused on washing the bloodstains off your knives were absolutely stunning. You were like the huntress goddess Artemis from the Greek legends, with how the moonlight gently pooling over your frame. It might sound weird, getting turned on by a girl washing her daggers, but Mirio somehow accepts the fact that his juvenile crush has not gone away. On the contrary, it has become stronger, strong enough to be classified as love or obsession.

Now he knows why Endeavor has been so enthusiastic about the idea of capturing you. Mirio can hardly take his eyes off you himself! You were even more breathtaking in your pitch-black assassin attire compare to your hero costume. As he always loves a good mythology story, seeing you like this awaken something in him. A beautiful goddess, through and through.

You are his goddess! How can you taint your hands with blood while you can be worshipped in the temples? Being a mercenary does not suit you. 

“Togata, what a surprise.” Seeing your old classmate again, you are more concerned then happy. This is a remote location, far away from any population, and he just sneaked up on you without notice. He laughs as he sees how you work up a defensive wind barrier, knowing it has no effect on permeation. Back in your schooldays he has always been a pain to defeat, since Mirio can even pass through air, your usual push away methods fail on him alone. Thankfully, he cannot fly. “Long time no see. Well, what brings you to this part of town?” Putting away your daggers back into your leather pouch, you managed to put up a polite smile even you dreaded his answer. If he is one of those bounty hunters-

“I came to see you, of course! You are so beautiful in these clothes.” Without warning, Mirio stepped close, the wind barrier does nothing to him. If this has been a normal reunion party, his words might just make you flush a bit. But this is a secluded forest.

Before you can think of a counter strategy, two big strong arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you close towards the grinning blonde. You let out a scream as you try to wiggle out of his grasp, but it was futile. As a ranged combatant with high speed, strength was never your forte, neither is close up combat.

Why are you screaming? Don’t you see how he just want you to be treated well? This life is not for you! You deserve a loving family life, and Mirio is determined to provide that.

“Love, please do not scream. I don’t want to use a gag on you.” When you were distracted by his loving nickname, Mirio quickly slid a pair of quirk cancelling handcuffs on you.

“Let me go! Togata why are you doing this?” You are sure he has taken up the role of a bounty hunter. To your surprise, he released you from his clutches. But you were horrified to find your quirk has been restricted by those damned cuffs.

“Did Endeavor send you? I always know he is a piece of garbage, but you? Who can make my quirk useless?” Slowly backing away, trembling, you knew there is no change you can outrun Lemillion without your winds. Guess that is the end of free life. You rather be dead then be in Endeavor’s home. A quick slit can get the job done.

However, Mirio would never allow you to die. Before you can reach for your blades, he snatched the pouch out of your hands. “Endeavor? No, no. I’m not taking you to him. Don’t hurt yourself, angel.”

A wave of relief wash over you, then you hear Mirio’s words: “I’m taking you home, the commission has ordered me to make sure you don’t make any more deals with villains, and I agree. You deserve a peaceful life.”

Those are the last words you hear before blacking out from a strange, sweet scent. “Sorry to do this, my sweet, but you need to calm down and come home with me.”

As he held your unconscious body in his arms, Mirio promised himself that he will treasure you and give you the treatment you deserve. He finally found his goddess, he is not going to let go, never.

Bonus head canons:

You would wake up in Mirio’s fancy apartment, quirk cancelling collar around your neck, with mirio hugging you from behind in bed. His breath tickles your neck in the most terrifying way.

“Love, you’re finally awake! I was worrying about you overdosing.” That big smile, used to be a sign or reassurance during school days, now is a sight worthy for nightmares.

You would start kicking and screaming, wanting to get away from him.

“Togata let me go!” Your squirms are less then useless without your winds, but you have to try.

“It’s Mirio, lovely. Now how about we get you changed? I got you some pretty lingerie~”

You would shake your head and bite him, which...would result in him getting mad.

“I know it’s not right to use drugs, but you got to understand I did this all for you! That life is too dirty for someone like you, you deserved to be cherished. Lucky for you I am here to tend to all your needs.”

“But I- “ “No buts, sweetness. Now how about you get into one of those pretty outfits and show me how grateful you are? I did spare you that awful mercenary life, after all.”

You were not given a choice. Well, at least he cannot be worse then Endeavor, right? You can only gulp and comply, terrified of the alternative.

“My precious goddess...” He pulls you close, buring his nose in your hair. “I’m going to worship you so well that you forget about everything else.”

[angel-no-angel]

omg i don't rly share my musings out of nowhere but i just have to bc i'm DYING @ how life turns out and this bitch might still be creepin and read this so...

so i was online friends w this white girl Kiki (using names cus idgaf) for years, since I was like 11 or 12, who was an absolute gd nightmare lmao. like she was fucked the fuck up: homophobic, transphobic, fatphobic, racist as FUCK, manipulative af and a major bully to anyone she felt like flexing that on. like she was 4chan trash and made encyclopedia dramatica articles about ppl, ruined their lives and posted their personal info just over petty SONIKKU OC interent drama, and i was like a henchperson for the sake of staying out of her warpath until i was like 16 or so and told her she was a wild ass bitch and couldn't deal with her anymore. needless to say, it was a lot of weird shit to go thru during a very formative time in life. being who i am, i didn't have a ton of friends irl and so online friendships were sometimes all i had.

she also introduced me to someone who would ultimately become my BFF, and they found kiki's tumblr some time back and we'd peer at it for shits and giggles randomly but it looks like she blocked me recently?? i don't genuinely care ofc, but it is such... a curious thing to do given the fact that i washed my hands of speaking to her over a decade ago and the terms we left on were bad bc she was an awful person.

one can't help but wonder the mental process of someone who treated a "friend" so awfully over the course of years, made absolutely 0 effort to atone for being so disgustingly racist, homophobic, and transphobic to a queer trans person of color (i was not openly queer with her bc of it, and didn't understand my gender identity back then). it's just so interesting to me the way white ppl (esp white women) make decisions like this, avoidant and ignorant of their histories and actions, as if they hope that becoming invisible to someone they've hurt absolves them of the impact of what they've done.

it's also a massive laugh bc she would reblog "allyship" shit and anti-racist shit. not to say people can't change, but something in you reeks of bullshit if you block someone that you treated terribly on the basis of all the things you now stand for, having made no effort to apologize or atone to them or ANYONE you terrorized for years and years.

i don't feel bad for a second openly talking shit lmao kiki girl... i hope you still creep so you can know you're a clown and you negatively affected SO many lives.

the clownery.... I JUST HAVE TO LAUGHHHH!

[harlot-of-oblivion]

The Devil’s In The Details

All work and no play makes Dante a dull devil. But he soon finds a cure for his boredom when a smokin' hot detective comes a-knockin' on his door.

The title and overall feel of this chapter is inspired by the song "A Girl Like You" by Edwyn Collins.

Chapter 3: Never Met A Girl Like You

You look up Dante’s profile as soon as you get back to your desk. The Lieutenant was not exaggerating that this man’s file is incredibly long; it almost reads like a fictional novel filled with colorful characters and bloody descriptions. Unfortunately, all these reports are real and if any of what you read is remotely true, then you really have your work cut out for you this time.

It all starts with the infamous demon attack on Sparda Manor, which is common knowledge to most locals nowadays. The only body found in the rubble of their burnt down home was Eva Sparda, the matriarch of the family, and the rest of the family was pronounced dead soon after the incident. You narrow your eyes at that little detail…it’s rather strange that they just jumped to that conclusion even though there isn’t enough sufficient evidence to back up the claim.

The next notable part of the profile is all about the escapades of Tony Redgrave. You resist the urge to facepalm yourself while reading about all the events that occurred under his on the nose alias. It all seems to be standard fare on par with mercenary work, so you skip ahead a little until hitting another infamous incident involving some crazy ass tower…a lot of information about what happened has been redacted except that the Son of Sparda was definitely involved as well as an associate only known as Lady.

You read ahead again and raise an eyebrow at the strange report about a beautiful woman smashing through his shop while riding a motorcycle. This mysterious woman is later confirmed to be another associate known as Trish. Then it seems he left to do some outside work, so there isn’t much details except for a few witness statements here and there. The most noteworthy detail is the sudden appearance of a young man bearing a striking resemblance to the white-haired mercenary known as Nero.

A memory flashes before your mind at the name. You’ve seen this young man before; it was during the Red Grave incident involving the demon tree. You did not get the chance to speak with him…all you can remember is nodding to a young man with short white while leading a group of citizens caught in the demonic fray to safety. And speaking of that debacle, you skim through the reports about Dante’s role in that devastating event, which again seems to be scarce except that he was definitely hired to take care of whatever or whoever planted that freaky ass tree.

From what you can glean from the extensive damage reports, complaints about disturbing the peace, and the high rate of death and destruction…it paints Dante as a womanizing playboy who shows no concern for the wellbeing of others, which makes him a highly dangerous individual. Your fingers tap on your desk as you carefully sift through the information you have just gathered, noting that some of the reports have a healthy dose of prejudice attached to them. A good detective knows that preconceptions should never be taken at face value when searching for the truth. So, perhaps he’s more of a flirty troublemaker with a pension for hunting demons, which has earned him quite the reputation among mercenaries and police alike. You lean back in your chair and mentally weigh the risks of seeking out this infamous devil hunter in hopes of ridding the city of another demonic threat.

The soft chiming of your phone breaks you away from your deep contemplation. You pull it out your pocket and shuffle through a series of texts from Carmen. A couple of them are pictures of the victim’s garage, specifically a set of golf clubs found in the corner. She goes on to explain that this could be the murder weapon, but she will have to run some tests to confirm her suspicions. You take out your sketchbook and update the depiction of the crime scene with a drawing of a golf club with a question mark beside it. The other texts inform you about the safe key and missing dog. Carmen didn’t find any kind of safe or lock box that goes with the key, so she’s just adding it with the rest of evidence for further investigation. And there is still no sign of the family dog either.

No surprise there, you thought while texting her back about your heated argument with the Lieutenant and your plan of seeking outside assistance from a demon hunter. You also let her know that Graves is fine, just shaken up from the missing body that could very well be the zombie bride she gushed about earlier. While waiting for her response, you check your email for the record of medical examiners that Graves sent, and you file a report about the missing body from the morgue.  

After completing those tasks, you decide to grab a quick breakfast and do some more investigating before setting out to find the Legendary Devil Hunter. You collect your sketchbook and grab another cup of coffee on the way out, gulping it all down in a few long sips while you walk through the station. Your phone chimes multiple times as you approach the exit, but you withhold from checking it as you slip past a slew of reporters standing outside the station. All of them are none the wiser as you gear up for a long ride before hopping on your motorcycle.

You rev the engine a couple of times before zooming out of the parking lot with a loud roar, hoping that you can make it to Devil May Cry before closing time.  

(A few hours later…)

Another day spent doing absolutely nothing, Dante thought drolly as he rereads yet another dirty magazine while rock music blares from the jukebox.

It’s late afternoon and there is still no sign of Morrison. The phone rang a few times, but none of the callers gave a password. Dante knew that business has been slow recently, but he’s going to die of sheer boredom at this rate! He leans back in his chair and props his feet up on his desk, not really ogling the half-naked ladies in the magazine as his mind wanders through less vulgar musings.

Dante’s life has taken one hell of a U-turn for the better ever since getting back from hell with his brother in tow and having a very awkward but needed conversation with Nero. Just the fact that he even has a nephew still makes him shake his head in wonder, and having Vergil back to being his old cranky self…it all seems too good to be true. But a few pinches every now and then, as well as some stabs from his dear brother, knocks some sense back into him and erases all doubt from his mind.

Dante has never felt more alive now that he has finally found his family. And it would truly be a shame if this tedious dry spell takes him out before he gets the chance to really enjoy it. Morrison better bring the cure to my boredom before I find it myself, he thought, absentmindedly turning a page while letting out a huge yawn.  

A loud knocking echoes throughout the shop. Dante glances up from his magazine towards the entrance. Huh…that’s not Morrison, he surmises as more knocking bangs on the door. “It’s open!” he announces, not one to turn down a potential client coming to him directly. He tosses aside the dirty magazine as the door swings open to reveal an attractive woman entering the shop.    

Dante’s brow quirks in curiosity as you look around with mild interest. “Well, well…what’s a pretty lady like you doing here?” he asks nonchalantly while his keen eyes roam up and down your form, already spotting the concealed gun holstered inside your riding jacket.  

“I’m looking for the owner of this shop,” you inform in a calm and even voice while slowly approaching the landing area of his office. “Is that you?”

Dante smirks mischievously. “That depends on who’s asking, babe.”

“Don’t call me babe.”

Your stern voice startles him for a moment as you step up to the landing and pause by the edge of the carpet under his desk. You’re close enough now for him to get a better look at you; confident stance, sharp eyes, and a stoic face that could rival his brother’s stony expression. And yet it still captures his full attention despite your cold reception of his playful retort.  

“The name’s Dante,” he introduces himself as your head swivels around, taking in every detail of his office as you walk around his desk. “And if you’re looking for the bathroom…it’s in the back.” Dante motions with his head as you get closer to the couch, which gives him an opportunity to check you out from behind. His eyes linger up your slender legs and the curve of your ass…but then he does a bit of a double take when he notices a knife hidden in one of your boots.  

“Legendary Devil Hunter, Son of Sparda…and the embodiment of sloth apparently,” you muse aloud, stoic shell cracking a little as your lips curl into a grimace while examining the copious piles of trash strewn all over the floor.

Dante crosses his arms with a shrug. “I see my reputation still precedes me,” he quips back cheekily as your gaze turns towards the small bar in the corner.

“Please tell me that hasn’t just been hanging there rotting since the Red Grave incident,” you mutter in disbelief while pointing at the Empusa nailed to the wall with numerous swords and one small dart.

“What does a babe like you know about Red Grave?” he inquires casually while his eyes narrow suspiciously.  

A subtle spark of anger lights up your eyes. “Stop calling me babe.”

Dante slides his feet to the floor before leaning over on his desk. “How about you give me the pleasure of your name and maybe I’ll call ya by something more your style,” he offers with a wink, hoping to rekindle that spark of yours with his flirty banter.

Your smoldering eyes squint hard at him for a moment, the fierce spark now glittering as you reach inside your riding jacket. “Detective Y/N of the Red Grave City P.D.” You take out your badge and flip it open to show him your photo I.D. as you move close to his desk. “And if you call me anything but Detective…I’ll show you why some of the boys down at the station call me Ice Bitch,” you warn with a low growl filled with simmering anger.  

“Ice Bitch, huh?” Dante repeats while giving the badge a quick glance so that he doesn’t miss the show when the sparks start flying. “I dunno…you sound pretty fiery to me.”

Dante watches with fascination as your eyes burst with searing heat, but your entire face remains completely composed. It’s not exactly the kind of show he was hoping for, but there is still time to figure out what really lights your fire so long as you are here. There’s just something about you that begs him to stoke the flames flickering in your eyes…maybe it’s the way you carry yourself with utmost confidence around the shop despite the infamy around his name and reputation. Or it could be that fiery spirit hidden beneath your frosty exterior…all he knows for certain is this:

He’s gotta have more.

“So, what does the fuzz down at Red Grave want with a guy like me?” he asks, relaxing back into his chair with an amused grin, detecting another knife hidden up your sleeve as you put away your badge. “Wait, wait…lemme guess: you’re here to arrest me for being too damn good lookin’,” he jests, arching his brow while stroking his chin in a dashing manner.

“Last time I checked, it wasn’t illegal to have a scruffy beard and unkempt hair,” you retort smoothly while straightening out your jacket. “I’m here to request any insights you have about demons.”

“Well, you definitely came to the right place,” he boasts, dramatically waving his hands around the shop before tilting his head inquisitively. “Is this for a case?”

You raise a well-trimmed brow in surprise. “You catch on quickly…yes, it’s for a case,” you confirm, resting one hand on your hip while the other hangs down by yet another knife in your pants pocket. “We need to determine if demons are involved in a series of disappearances and murders.” You pause for a moment, blinking your eyes once as you tilt your head in thought. “There’s also the possibility of a Devil Arm being involved as well. And if either of those are true…” You trail off with a weary sigh before finishing your explanation. “Maybe we can team up and work on this case together.”

Dante kicks one foot up to rest atop his knee. “It sounds like you already know a lot more than your average cop,” he notes while his brow twitches with interest at your proposal.  

“When you live in a place like Red Grave, you learn to pick up on a few things…” The spark in your eyes dims down while a haunted look flashes across your impassive face. “Never know when it might save your life,” you quickly explain, crossing your arms as your expression hardens, but the dull ember of your eyes glimmer softly.

Now that’s a look I know very well, Dante admits silently, having seen the very definition of anguish staring back at him in the mirror for years. “Alright, you wanna know more about demons…why come to me? I know for a fact that there are plenty of mercenaries in your area,” he points out with an exaggerated twirl of his finger.

“Because you’re the best of the best, Mr. Dante.”

This isn’t the first time that Dante has heard those exact same words. His usual response is to just laugh it off and comment about hearing it all before…but this time it’s different. The absolute certainty evident in your voice sends a chill down his spine. And the spark in your eyes is roaring with the flame of total conviction as you seemingly stare straight into his devilish soul.

“Hmm…you sure are painting a pretty interesting picture,” he imparts, fidgeting a little under your intense gaze, which makes him wonder if you’ve noticed just how tight his pants have gotten while talking with you. Not that he minds…but it seems you are more interested in business than pleasure right now. So, he brushes that notion aside and scoots his chair closer so that his arms can rest on the desk. “Look…I’m really flattered and all, but you’ve overlooked one minor detail: mercenaries and cops aren’t really known for working together.”

Dante flashes you with a toothy grin, hoping the reluctant act he’s putting on will illicit another feisty show. “Oh, I didn’t overlook it,” you reveal, quickly snuffing out his attempt at lighting the fuse with a shake of your head. “I just don’t give a damn.”

“Really?” He leans in closer over his desk as he pokes that wild temper of yours from another angle. “Didn’t know it was okay for you to break the law whenever you want and openly carry that gun just because of some fancy badge,” he provokes with a challenging smile.

Your stoic face contorts into furious scowl as the spark in your eyes ignites in searing rage. You quickly close the distance between both of you and slam your hands down on his desk, proving that he skipped lighting the fuse and just kicked the entire damn barrel into the fire! But it doesn’t bother Dante one bit as you lean in real close to his face over the desk, inflamed gaze boring into him while you launch into an explosive tirade.  

“Now you listen here! I took an oath to protect and serve, and that’s exactly why I’m here now! I did not work my ass off for this badge just to waltz around with this gun! And I have no intentions of abusing that sacred trust the citizens of Red Grave have put in me!”

You pause to take a couple of deep breaths before continuing in a calmer but still irate tone. “Your expertise and experience with demons may lead to the break in case we need…and it’s what I need to uphold that oath.” The harsh scowl on your face softens as the rage in your eyes dies down to a flickering flame of hope. “I need your help, Mr. Dante…I can’t crack this case wide open and finally bring this insidious killer to justice for the families and friends of their victims without you.”

Dante stares at you in awe as your impassioned speech buzzes around him like a temperamental honeybee. He couldn’t help but to watch your lips as you unleash your fury upon him…wondering if your kiss would be just as passionate as your volatile rage. And you are so close now, waiting for his response as you loom over his desk like an unmoving statue. But your intoxicating scent ensnares his senses while an all too familiar presence awakens inside him. His heart beats faster as blood rushes straight down his groin, forcing him to subtly readjust himself under the desk while the devil within purrs beneath his skin.

The door behind you suddenly swings open before he can come up with some clever one liner about enjoying the show. Morrison strolls on in and effectively pulls both of you out of the intense moment as he starts talking. “Hey Dante! Word on the street is that a detective from Red Grave City has been snooping around and…Oh!” He stops in his tracks when he finally notices you. “Looks like you’ve arrived before the rumors, Detective,” he notes smoothly while lighting up a cigar.

“I’m a firm believer of getting the whole picture before putting my pencil to paper, Mr. Morrison,” you divulge coolly without tearing your fierce gaze away from Dante’s stunned face. The corners of your mouth twitch into a fleeting smirk as you straighten up your posture while backing up from his desk. “I’ll be in the city for a couple more hours. You can find me at the Simmer Down Diner if you change your mind…and if you don’t come around, I’ll just assume that your answer is no.”

You turn and step down the landing before walking past Morrison towards the entryway. Dante’s eyes follow your every move, hypnotized by your swaying hips and confident stride as you reach for the door. “But make no mistake, Mr. Dante,” you murmur, grasping the handle as you turn to look over your shoulder. “There’s a serial killer on the loose and I intend to catch them with or without your help.” Your eyes sparkle with determination with those final words as you open the door and exit the shop.

“Did I hear her right?” Morrison questions, puffing on his cigar as he walks across the shop towards the couch. “She wants your help catching a serial killer?”

Dante keeps his eyes on the door as he nods. “Yep. Seems so.”

“Huh…that’s something you don’t see every day.” Morrison takes a seat on the couch and flicks his cigar over a nearby ashtray. “What’d she offer you in return?”

“We didn’t get that far when you busted on through the front doors.”

Morrison puffs on his cigar in quiet contemplation for a moment before cracking a knowing smile. “You’re thinkin’ about following after her, aren’t ya?”

Dante finally turns away from the door towards his dear friend. “What makes you say that?” he inquires, casually leaning back in his chair while Morrison shakes his head with a soft chuckle.

“You never could resist a beautiful lady asking for help. Even when all they brought was trouble…you still hear them out and almost always take whatever bait they dangle in front of ya.”

Dante shrugs at his friend’s logic while pondering about possibilities of working with a detective. On one hand, he’d have to play nice with the police and not break too many laws if he agrees to help you. But on the other hand, he gets to hang out with a smokin’ hot detective with one helluva temper. And if he takes up your offer…his heart throbs while the devil in him purrs at the thought of reigniting the flame in your eyes and seeing more of this sizzling chemistry between the two of you.

“You know me too well, Morrison,” he discloses with a puckish grin. “I’ll let ya know if I take the bait this time.”  

Morrison waves his cigar in the air as if to say told ya so as he gets out of his chair with a small flourish. He recalls the restaurant you mentioned as he steps out the shop, knowing it to be one of many greasy spoons in this area of the city. His hands are practically shaking with anticipation as he summons Cavaliere while a blur of different emotions swirl around in his head. If you can get this kind of reaction out of him already, then he’s gotta see where this may lead because honestly…he’s never met a girl like you before.

And now that he’s had a taste…he wants so much more.

Read Chapter 4

My Ao3

My Masterlist if you want more 💖

Tagging: @bettybattaglia @drusoona and @exsultry

[wafflesrock16]

Ink and Blooms

So, the amazingly talented @autodiscothings updated her fantastic fic Acts Of Repetition recently, and the latest chapter featured an incredibly lovely turian tattoo artist. Smitten, I asked Auto if I could write a lil thing with her boy and she agreed.

So! Here’s my ode to @autodiscothings sweet turian bae, Nous. Naturally I have a human lady falling for him because I am predictable trash.

Zenellia D’kafi, the asari matriarch who ran Thessian Impressions floral boutique was a force of nature when it came to cultivating new clients. 

“Everyone is a potential client,” she informed Faustine from behind a large mug of tea. “A random hanar apostle might wish to leave flowers as an offering to the Enkindlers. The elcor business man, away from home too frequently, would like a bouquet to send to his wife as a reminder he’s thinking of her.”

Faustine glanced up from where she was meticulously measuring out gold silk ribbon. “And Adamius Studios?” She glanced out the shop window to the studio across the street. It used to be a mattress store, though little of the building’s past life remained on the exterior. 

Zenellia smiled, the light sparkling in her cornflower eyes. “Nous Adamius,” she said, drawing out the surname. “Now there’s an artist who’s in demand. The tattooist of the elite.” She followed Fautine’s gaze. “Hmm. In his case, he’s hosting an art exhibition for select clientele next week. The who’s-who of wealth and influence will be there--they always show up for art exhibits.”

“And our supplying the floral arrangements might garner other high-end customers in addition to Nous,” Faustine surmised. 

“Smart girl,” Zenellia said, taking a prim sip of tea. “You know, I have a mind to let you finalize the arrangements with Mr. Adamius.”

“Really?” Faustine clasped her hands to her mouth with excitement. “A solo consult?”

Zenellia chuckled, leaning against the glass counter. “I’ve already discussed the arrangements with him, so this will just be hemming in the finer details. Where he wants the vases placed and so on. You’ve been with me on enough consultations and set-ups, you can do this on your own.”

“Thank you Miss Zenellia!” Faustine reigned herself in. “I can handle this,” she said, straightening her posture. “When do I meet with him?”

“Tomorrow morning, before his studio opens.”

                                                    **********

Faustine enjoyed fashion. And art and flowers and color. Her wardrobe was a blend of bright color and textures. Her grandmother used to say that she would have loved Earth back in the 1980’s and based on pictures she’d seen, Faustine was inclined to agree. 

But today was professional. Her mentor was trusting her to make a good impression and Faustine needed to represent Thessian Impressions while also simultaneously reassuring Nous--Mr. Adamius--that he’d made a wise choice in ordering floral arrangements for his event and should consider doing so again. 

Faustine chose a slate pant-suit with a violet camisole from the back of her closet. It was from an elite fashion line, but had been on clearance since it was from the year before. Still, as she slipped on black high heels, Faustine felt a sense of empowerment. 

She hesitated over her hair. Did turians even notice human hair? Should she take the extra effort to curl it? Deciding it couldn’t hurt, Faustine brushed, curled, and styled her auburn locks until they gleamed under the artificial bathroom lights. Some mascara and bright red lipstick completed the look and before she could second guess herself, she was hailing a skycar and then stepping out in front of Adamius Studios.

She normally walked to work, but doing so in heels was out of the question. These were shoes for show, not practicality. Pulling up her omni-tool, she contacted Mr. Adamius to let him know she was from Thessian Impressions and here to speak to him. 

The windows to the studio were opaque, but in a slow parade of light starting from the back of the building, the room lit up. The door opened as Faustine leaned closer to peer inside. 

“Hello.” 

“Hi! Mr. Adamius?”

He nodded, opening the door wider for her to enter. She’d seen him before, of course--he worked across the street. She’d never seen him up close, though. He was a good deal taller than her but held himself tightly like a curled fern frond. The effect gave him a shorter, hunched appearance. 

He had pale plates, not quite white, but a light tan. His hide was a deep molten red with eyes that reminded her of orange, autumn leaves. 

His most notable feature wasn't his eyes or plates or posture. He had bold, purple colony markings which ran in thick lines toward his eye sockets like a roadmap.The plating on his arms bore similar lines of the same color. Faustine wondered if colony markings extended all over the body. She’d never considered it before, but as she admired the bold, black, geometric patterns that spiraled away from his neck plating in a decorative collar, she decided that this was art, unrelated to the colony markings turians were so famous for. 

Mr. Adamius cleared his throat loudly and Faustine realized with racing horror that she’d been staring at him with wide eyes and an open mouth like he were an exhibit on show. 

“Oh!” It was her turn to clear her throat. “Your tattoos are beautiful,” she murmured, looking at the floor. 

“Thank you.” His voice was soft. Not at all loud and bold like his art. “You work for Matriarch Zenellia?”

Faustine released a small sigh that they were moving on. “Yes, I’m her protege, as it were. She wanted me to finalize the details with you for next week.”

She smiled, tilting her head in a friendly manner. Mr. Adamius flicked out a mandible in what she associated as a turian smile, though he avoided looking her in the eyes. She wondered if that was a personality thing or something… maybe he doesn’t like me? 

“I was thinking of an arrangement on the reception desk and a few smaller vases along the wall,” Mr. Adamius said, pointing to where several bed posts were mounted and functioning as coat racks. A large, framed canvas sat beneath the racks. On it was what looked like an abstract shoal of fish with luminous, foreign script weaving through it. Faustine didn’t recognize the writing but felt it safe to assume it was turian.“I discussed using a mix of thessian, earth, and palaveni flowers,” Mr. Admius continued. “I want the color scheme to stay cobalt, gold, and white, but I’m open to flower types. Nothing too lavish, the art is the focal point.”

“Zenellia mentioned that,” Faustine said, wiping away any concerns about her likability for the moment. Pulling up her omni-tool, she moved closer to Mr. Adamius to show him the samples of different arrangements in the colors he’d requested. This close, she could smell a slightly acrid scent of what she assumed was ink. But overpowering that was a woody smell that reminded her of pine trees. Mr. Adamius smells like Christmas, she thought.

She glanced up at him from where he was admiring a proposed arrangement. He was wearing loose fitted clothes that placed his heavily inked hide on full display. Zenella had mentioned he was younger, but the asari considered everyone younger since she herself was 876 years old.

Nous seems like he’s my age. Maybe a little older. Early to mid thirties? 

“I like this one best,” he said, oblivious to her internal musings. Faustine looked at the arrangement he’d chosen. It was the one she’d put together. Not the four Zenella had proposed, but the one she had done. 

“I did that one,” she told him proudly. 

“It’s beautiful,” he said in a softer voice, looking not at her eyes, but seemingly her hair. “It’ll work perfectly for what I have planned.”

Instead of replying Faustine responded by grinning at him like an idiot. She was high on accomplishment, she’d convince herself later. But it was thanks to this that Mr. Adamius nervously glanced away, toward a small, unassuming painting partially concealed by the reception desk.

“Is that an anchor?” She pointed at the familiar shape which was the main subject of the painting. 

“Yes. I’m fond of the nautical themes found in all cultures. The convergence of design between them, be they human, asari, or turian. We’re all interconnected by the oceans of our worlds.” He let out a quiet hum, unfurling from his tightly held hunch. “It reminds me of my childhood, too, I suppose.”

“You grew up near the ocean?” Faustine asked curiously. “I thought turians weren’t the biggest fans of deep, open water. No offense!” she added, horrified she’d possibly insulted him. 

His easy chuckle immediately set her at ease. “Overall, you’re right. Most turians avoid the open ocean. But my homeworld is different.” His mandibles flicked outward as he looked down at his hands. The three fingers of his left hand each bore a small fish tattoo on the knuckle. “Rocam has a huge fishing industry. I grew up around the sea and fishing boats. My childhood involved lots of fishing and playing in the surf. Eating charred salmo around a beach fire with my grandparents. Listening to fisherman swap stories on the wharf.”

Faustine watched the fish tattoos flex with his fingers. Remembering the other canvas leaning against the wall, she looked closer at the framed picture. The fish looked like they were formed from ink splats, honed with a pen to give them more definition and shape.

“You did that?” she asked pointing. 

Turning, Mr. Adamius nodded. “I did all the nautical themed paintings in here,” he said. Faustine felt like the quiet, rolling subvocals under the spoken words were proud. 

“You’re so talented,” she sighed, feeling mildly envious. “Do you have other paintings like that one?”

“Yes, but they’re in the back. I’ll put them out next week for the exhibit.”

“Oh.”

“I…” a soft whine escaped through his tightly clamped mandibles. “Would you, um. Like to come to the exhibit?”

“Your art exhibit next week? Of course I’d love to go!” Faustine forced herself to school her features into a more poised look. “I mean, if you’re inviting me, I’d absolutely love to see the rest of your work.”

Nous let out a huff of air. “It’s not just my work, all the artists in the studio are going to display something. But if you’d like to come, I’d love to see you. At the event.” He cleared his throat, stepping away from her personal space which at some point he’d entered. 

“Thank you,” Faustine whispered, feeling a blush creep over her cheeks. “Um, I’ll let Zenella know which arrangement you selected and where and how many you wanted.” She made to head for the door, but forgetting her high heels, tripped and nearly collapsed face first into the deep blue and white rug.

A strong arm seized her around the waist and held her until she was steady on her feet again. “Damn shoes,” she muttered, more embarrassed then she’d been in years. “Nous, I--”

“Not a problem. Are you all right?”

“Fine, I’m fine. Only thing injured is my pride.” She gave him a sheepish smile, sure her face was beet red. 

For the first time since she’d entered his studio, Nous looked her in the eye. “Wounded pride isn’t the worst injury,” he said in that soft, smokey voice. 

She stared into the swirling amber of his irises. Turians had smaller eyes than humans, but their gaze was intense. She wondered what he thought about her own hazel eyes. 

He bowed his head after a moment, rubbing the back of his neck. “So, I’ll see you at the exhibit?”

“Before that, actually,” she replied, blinking away whatever trance she’d fallen under. “I’ll bring the flowers by an hour before your exhibit starts.”

“I look forward to seeing you then.”

So do I, Faustine thought, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as she headed out the door. So do I.

[fadiingstarliight]

( @qvietwhispers )

jayden

He barely knew Faye at all but she seemed like a lovely person and he was honestly eager to meet her and.. also then break up her old stuff. When he got there he saw a woman at the entrance but wasn't entirely sure if it was her.  "I was told to look for the enthusiastic shop owner, I'm Jade." he said with a smile on his lips.

faye

Faye wasn't lying, she'd definitely recieved weirder text messages in her lifetime, and if anything, Jade had only intrigued her. She'd been half tempted to text Declan about them, before realising Jade would walk through the door at any moment. She'd been fixing a mannequin by the entrance, draping a feather boa over it when the door charmed. "Hey! That'd be me," Faye chipped happily, a wide smile upon her lips. Her eyes scanned over the other, recognising him from a few odd times he'd been in the shop. She made a mental note to tell Mira later that he was definitely cute. "Ready to smash some shit?"

jayden

Faye was a lot more chirpier in person than he could guess over text but he didn't complain. Her smile was contagious and he grinned back at the other. He suddenly realized that the reason she seemed so familiar was not exactly his previous visits to the store but the video he had seen of her during the elections. This wasn't just any Faye, it was Faye Waters, but he didn't think it was remotely close to a good idea to bring that up. Now or ever if they stayed friends. "Nice to meet you Faye." he said before a small laugh left his lips. "Yes, I would absolutely love to do that as long as you don't write me off as the weird guy who came out of the blue and smashed shit." he chuckled.

faye

Faye had a lot of questions, but she figured he had enough going on without her hounding him about it. "Nice to meet you too, Jade," she told him brightly, the smile never leaving her lips. "I would never," she teased, "Though that certainly is an interesting title, don't you think?" She gave a head up to the other on shift, before gesturing him to follow out back.

jayden

"Interesting title?" he repeated before he got what she meant and a laugh left his lips. "The weird guy thing I said? Please do not." He chuckled and nodded in response to her question, following her to the back room where it was far more abundantly clear that this was the second hand shop with a bunch of old things lined up without any reformation done to them. "Do you do this often?" he asked as the other handed him a baseball bat and he took it from her looking down at it in mild amusement.

faye

"Yeah, weird guy who came out of the blue and smashed shit," She repeated, laughter leaving her lips. "Alright fine, just Jade it is," Faye grinned at him, practically skipping out to the back. She grabbed the bats she kept lying around, handing him one without hesitation. At his question, she laughed. "Fairly often. I used to live in LA, and they had this place called Rage Ground. You ever heard of Rage Rooms? You basically just go there to smash shit. I used to go with a friend of mine Landon, it was a great way to relieve stress." Faye admitted, shrugging her shoulders before pointing at one of the items with her bat. "Give it a try. Trust me."

jayden

Jade looked amused as the other called him the same weird guy thing again before she referred him by his name. "Thank you." he chuckled and listened as she spoke of the rage rooms back in LA, still looking down at the bat skeptically. "I have heard of them, never actually been to one." he told the other. "I mean, it's not often I go anywhere that's not work. I went to New York one time for a wedding, and then Vegas to get married." he shook his head a little as he spoke of his drunk wedding at Vegas. "And I did go on vacation to Miami but I suppose beaches and rage rooms aren't the same thing." He nodded and took a deep breath before he swung the bat with all the strength he could muster at the bunch of stuff, a deafening smash echoing through the room before he turned to look at Faye and laughed in shock. "You are right that does feel good." he said sounding rather startled by that fact. "Are you going to do this too?"

faye

"You're welcome," Faye laughed with him, shaking her head. "Oh they're so much fun," she told him before tilting her head as she listen to him speak. "Did you not want to travel? Or just didn't have time?" She asked him curiously. "You got married in Vegas?" Faye arched an eyebrow, before realising that was probably the divorce that was causing him to smash things. "Well, I went travelling after high school. Been here, there and everywhere. Settled in LA though, but I used to travel a lot with my previous jobs," she moved the conversation from vegas swiftly, shrugging her shoulders. "Oh yeah definitely not, beaches are fun, but a different kind of stress reliever to this," she admitted, pointing at the pile of junk. Faye watched as he swung the bat, laughter spilling from her own lips as he laughed in shock. "Right? I'm not entirely crazy," she teased, before nodding. "Well I can't let you have all the fun." Without hesitating further, Faye swung her bat at one of the cupboards she'd found no use for, grinning widely.

jayden

"Maybe one day. Or maybe there are those in Charleston, I don't know." he mused before he shrugged at her question. "Guess I've always been busy? So I never really thought of it but when I do go I have fun so maybe I should plan vacations occasionally." he chuckled. Not that he would anytime soon having had taken a few days off work to visit Nessa in Miami. Perhaps, next year or so. "Yeah, I did. Would recommend a Vegas wedding but not a Vegas marriage. The trip was actually a lot of fun." He didn't really want to talk much about it but then again he saw no point to keeping it to himself and not talk about it at all. It was a chapter of his life he can turn over and move on from but it was always gonna be there anyway. "Traveling for work doesn't sound like the worst thing." he smiled at her before raising his brows in amusement as she trashed one of the cupboards. He followed her lead, feeling his anger leave him little by little with every swing of his bat. "You're definitely not entirely crazy." he said as he laughed, looking down at the resultant mess.

faye

"Oh I've not actually looked in Charleston," She admitted, tapping her chin in thought. "That makes sense, but you should definitely plan more vacations. Hey, if you ever need a travel buddy, you know where to find me," Faye grinned, gesturing at the store. She wasn't sure he'd ever take her up on the offer, but she loved travelling, and hadn't actually left Wakefield since she'd come back. "So I just need to find someone to get married in Vegas so I can witness it," She joked, laughing. "I'm glad you had fun though." As he spoke of her old job, Faye shrugged. "Yes and no. Sometimes I didn't actually get much time to actually explore anyway." Pulling a face, she swung the bat again. "Somewhat crazy, but only enough that it's fun, and not horrifying."

jayden

"Maybe there is one and we can go." he suggested grinning at her before a laugh left his lips at her suggestion to travel together but he stopped abruptly on realizing she wasn't joking. "You're serious? Like actually travel somewhere together?" he asked her, his words coloured with disbelief at the offer. "That would be ideal." he said, that was a great conclusion to come to from what he had told her about his experience with a Vegas wedding. He simply nodded as she spoke of her old job, she was very vague and he didn't bother to dig more. If she left it and owned a shop here, there was probably a reason for it. "Yep, not completely horrifying." he said before he swung his bat again, this time a few times consecutively, channeling all the anger he felt at himself on the poor dresser which Faye seemed to think was of no use anymore. It went on longer than last time, longer than he realized and when he was done he dropped the bat and sat down cross-legged on the floor, hands in his hair and taking deep breaths to steady himself.

faye

"I'll have to look and find out," She agreed with a grin. At his abrupt stop to his laughter, Faye let out a giggle of his own. "Not used to strangers offering to go on holiday with you?" She joked, "but yeah, why not? You want to travel, I want to travel, could be fun." Shrugging her shoulders, Faye's smile never left her lips. She was pretty sure the other wouldn't take her up on the offer but she meant it all the same. Faye focused on smashing the offending objects, taking her recent stresses with worrying about Dean out on the poor furniture. Faye had finished before Jade had, watching him as he then dropped the bat and dropped to the floor. "You okay?" She asked softly, sitting down opposite him, concern lacing her features.

jayden

Jade chuckled in response and he definitely was not used to this. The last time this happened he had gotten married in Vegas so he wasn't entirely sure it was the best of ideas either. "It could. I would need to take time off work though which wont be happening for the next few months at least." When he finally let the bat fall to the ground and sat down himself Jade's head was spinning. He hadn't really given himself a moment to come to terms with the fact that his marriage with Nessa, if one could even call it that was actually over. "Yeah, yeah." he said distantly, barely focusing on the others words.

faye

"Well the offer's always open, and hey, at that point we may actually know eachother," she mused with a grin. However her cheerful nature faded as she saw how he was, her frown growing as she watched him cautiously. "Hey," Faye spoke softly, reaching out and placing her hand on his bicep. "Talk to me, come on, what's going through that head of yours?"

jayden

Jade hadn't even realized how angry he was about the divorce with Nessa. Not at her, but more at himself. Because it was so many years that he had hoped for something with her when a part of him had always known that they would never work out. She was too wild, different, demanding, and he could never keep up with her. He should have known. And the more he thought of it the angrier he became, and with an outlet for his anger right before him, he used it without holding back. He took a few deep breaths before looking at the other. "I fucked up my own life." he admitted out loud. "I just.. yeah, I knew this was going to be the end result and I dragged it out for years. It sucks."

faye

Faye frowned as he finally spoke, brows furrowing together at the admission. Her teeth tugged on her lower lip, before she shrugged. "Don't take this the wrong way, but people do stupid shit when they're blindly in love with someone. I would know. I've been there." She admitted, voice unusually quiet, it wasn't often Faye spoke about her ex. "You have every right to be angry. Even if it's at yourself. I was, for years. It'll get easier."

jayden

"Yeah, I suppose." he said quietly saddened on hearing that she had a similar situation. "I'm sorry to hear that. Sucks to be us, I guess?" he said, a small smile on his lips but it didn't reach his eyes. He hated how he felt, he hated the anger, he wished he could skip past of of this mess and go right to the moving on. "I hope so. I doubt you have enough things for me to break if it doesn't get better." he added, hoping to lighten the mood.

faye

"Yeah, I guess it does," Faye forced out a huff of laughter, shaking her head somewhat sadly. However, at his comment, the corners of her lips twitched upwards in amusement. "It will, but in the mean time, we should definitely try and find a rage room. Most of this trash I actually rescue," She admitted, "These were lost causes though."

jayden

"That's a good plan. But also, I don't really do this often, or ever. So, I don't know if I need a rage room." he chuckled. As much as he felt good, this shouldn't become a regular thing, right? He didn't know if it was good for him or not. "I think I'm all out of rage now though." he said with a smile. "Do you want to show me some of the things you actually rescued?" he asked the other, not really in the mood to be breaking things anymore.

faye

"Well no, but sometimes this is the healthiest way to get your frustrations out. Better a piece of furniture than snapping at someone you care about," Faye shrugged her shoulders. As he said he was out of rage, Faye grinned again, standing up. "Yeah of course, follow me." She told him, leading him back into the shop.

jayden

Jade nodded in agreement at the others words, she did have a point. He smiled a little as the other got ready to take him back to the front to actually see what she sold in her store. He silently followed the girl out of the room, leaving the destroyed remains of what she called the lost causes behind.

END

[ragnaofazure]

Characters that were, or never were.

((Hello! This is a list of characters I have actually played on or off the site (like Discord), wanted to or considered quite strongly but never followed suit to do so or whatever.))

((It will all be under read more; this is a long post! If you are interested? Have fun discovering who was in any corner of my repertoire! The list should not be that extensive! I will reblog it if I added anyone new I could recall and forgot to initially should that happen. These are mostly in some form of chronological order with added notes about what their place is with me and more.))

Yu Narukami - (Persona 4)  

Additional note: (Have to biasedly put him first at the top and say how he was my true first muse here, lasted literal years. All my experience comes from him and his blog. He reached nearly 1k followers between both regular and not safe blogs, my true labor of love lost to me deciding to deactivate the blog. Some know me from him originally! You all know who you are!))

Sal (or “Syake”/”Syake-san”) - (Wadanohara and the Great Blue Sea)

Additional note: (My first attempt at a second character and his blog did kinda work for a while, getting a lot of interactions during the original Funamusea craze back in the day. First time playing a truly well evil character and learned lots. His blog eventually died down and faded, but it was an experience I haven’t forgotten.)

Nepgear - (Hyperdimension Neptunia)

Additional note: (A standalone blog attempt again, flopped hard due to how the fandom seemed to have it’s problems on the RP side as well as my own personal reservations (met some couple of awesome people there still around me today though!). One of the most ways to trash a character by a series that had a bit of an identity crisis in the writing department as the years went on. Still not over how hard they literally screwed this good girl over. Every single time.)

Iku Nagae - (Touhou Project)

Additional note: (Part of an incredibly failed multimuse project (that Nepgear was the face of and part of as well for that matter after her blog flopped) and she never got to really experience light of day. I had only the idea of how I wished to portray the character and I still do, but at the same time, I have no idea if it would have earned me the most interactions, admittedly. All due to how passive she is.)

Varus - (League of Legends)

Additional note: (Me having a thing for characters with tragic stories of loss? Are doomed as if fittingly to pay for their sins and as a cost for the tools to live and revenge? He spoke to me way before Ragna. I knew how I wanted to write him, give him flair given his character, which other Champions I wished for him to interact with soon... I had a much clearer idea. But ultimately, also part of the doomed multimuse blog that never took off.)

Goomy - (Pokémon)

Additional note: (No gijinka, only small, sticky bby that I debatably would never allow to evolve and, of course, could talk. Best Dragon type line to ever exist don’t even @ me okay. It’s just... cute. The anime really made it stick out and I loved it. I always also have loved essentially weaker characters and creatures a lot, thus... It resonated with me greatly and idea of how I was going to go about him (yes, had decided on male for it). Again, multimuse failed, so he went away with it.)

Karol Capel - (Tales of Vesperia)

Additional note: (Weak that could be truly strong when overcoming his fears, and that resonated with me given how I consider myself a coward in real life. I also have a thing also for playing characters everyone finds annoying to make them look better when they should not be as disliked too. And once more, multimuse, gone with it, never found a place to remotely discover if I would have also wanted to play him at large either too.)

Elphelt Valentine - (Guilty Gear)

Additional note: (I don’t need to say anything, most of you knew her enough! Blog flopped hard and I couldn’t find the activity I desired. Why I played her? Just... bubbly sweet girl that didn’t want to act on her capability to be deadly as a Gear and only wished for happiness, I liked all that sugar with that depth I tried to give her. As of recent times, Tumblr locked me out and I could not log back in. I sort of took it as a message as to why I maybe shouldn’t try with secondary blogs to a big degree.)

The Masochistic Admiral/Commander/Master(?)/Doctor(?) - (Kantai Collection-Azur Lane (Maybe even Fate and Arknights???) )

Additional note: (So this is a nameless original Admiral/Commander character by the artist known as “Yamamoto Arifred” (look up on danbooru tags under Kantai Collection alongside). I absolutely fell in love with this guy. How I wish it was possible to play him further then I did, I revisit the art work every so often and every day I recall why I liked him so, so much. He’s just beyond amusing, wacky, outright insane and nonsensical in many good shapes and forms. But he only wants one thing: All under him to succeed and become the best they can be under his very questionable yet effective command. I could go on and on but this is already long enough. Standalone blog, flopped due to lack of activity.)

Thief (”Touzoku”) Arthur - (Million Arthur series)

Additional note: (Super unknown series, super unknown plot, I only met all the characters via the available and uncared for fighting game... And her backstory plus design gave me so many ideas I wanted to play around with as a thief wielding a goddamn Excalibur. Of the first characters I said I wanted to play on impulse alone, but who would have cared? Where could she have fit? It was the bigger discouraging thoughts. I have some icons still... But as always, the hesitation from impulse in itself.)

Hassan of the Serenity - (Fate Prototype/Fragments - Grand Order)

Additional note: (Best Assassin, best girl, only Servant that has brought me to tears in this extensive series, for the love of anything holy let her be happy I swear to God, everything about her cuts me so deep, I can’t deal with it every time I think about it ...I’m calm. But really. She touched me so, so deep. I was normally indifferent for so many years about Fate until I stumbled upon the Prototype duology, and subsequently, the Fragments side. After learning her origins and more, her wishes... I can’t state it enough. I am passionate about this girl. She deserves the world. And I would have loved to give her the best if I got to write her.)

Peri - (Fire Emblem Fates - Heroes)

Additional note: (What everyone sees as an annoying, questionable character and way more, I see as yet another pick for me with great potential to try and develop to be liked more by many, for she is not completely disposeable. I had ideas and wanted to take her further while still having her not lose the tendencies she has, because that would be breaking and disregarding character, but sadly, Peri never as much as left my constant thoughts then trying to privately sample around for myself, would have loved to, though. Very.)

Sigurd - (Fate Grand Order)

Additional note: (Amazing design, amazing voice... Literal definition of: “Do it for her”, loves his partner despite their fate... Incredibly underrated man. He is simply the best and I was interested in finding footing to play him, as he deserves to be noticed more for just being... Simply amazing. There is not much more to say than that, he is cool and that is final. Don’t even fight me on these cold, hard facts.)

[manage-mischief]

Regulus Black and the Darkest Shadows: Chapter 12

Read on AO3 or FF.net 

Summary: Regulus learns a little bit about Muggle culture.

Author’s Note: Sorry this is a day late! I’ve been so busy with school! But, I hope you like this chapter. I had some difficulty writing it, but I hope it turned out ok! Thank you all so so much for your reviews. I love each and every one! If you want more content, follow my tumblr @manage-mischief. Enjoy! P.S. JK Rowling is trash :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

Chapter 12: If You Like Pina Coladas

February 7th, 1979

Saturday morning arrived, and Regulus’s nervous system was electrified. He woke up early in order to prepare himself—physically and mentally, for his trip with Des. As Regulus coated his hands with Sleekeazy’s Hair Potion and ran his fingers through his black hair, he felt like a fool. This trip to Hogsmeade was not a date, it was a mission. Regulus couldn’t afford to reflect on his potential interest in Des until after he discovered Voldemort’s secret plans. He refused to think about the way her thick walnut curls brushed his cheek whenever she whispered to him, or about the way her big grey-blue eyes sparkled with delight whenever she learned something new, or about the way her Muggle jeans accentuated her waist and hugged her…Merlin. He’d let himself get distracted again.

Regulus took one last look at himself in the mirror. Though he had tried to achieve his brother’s signature “effortlessly cool” look, he didn’t pull it off quite as well as Sirius had. Still, satisfied that he looked decent enough, he marched out of the Slytherin Dorms towards the dining hall.

Des was already waiting for him when he arrived. The first thing Regulus noticed was that—for one of the only times since he had known her—the witch looked nervous. She kept fidgeting and fussing with her clothing, pulling on her top every few seconds. She changed position ever few seconds, first leaning against the wall, then standing upright, then shifting her weight to one leg with her hip stuck out.

The second thing Regulus noticed was that Des looked fantastic. She wore high waisted jeans and a tucked-in, tight blue sweater. Her signature clear plastic glasses magnified her eyes and thick eyelashes. Her hair was pulled back in a bun by a red, polka dot bandana like that Muggle poster girl—what was her name…Rosie the Ribbiter? No that wasn’t it…Well, whatever it was, Regulus liked it that way. Des’s eyes darted around the corridor before landing on Regulus. she jumped a little when she saw him. Immediately, she broke into a wide grin, burying any previous nerves Regulus had observed. “Ah, the hermit has left the library!”

Regulus shook his head, smiling. “I thought Miss Ravenclaw of all people would approve of my new studying habits.”

Des laughed. “Come on, nerd, let’s grab some food and go!” Des led him to a table, where Woodrow and Wilhelmina were already sitting, whispering back and forth to each other:

“…bet you five galleons,” Regulus heard Wilhelmina say in a hushed tone. When Des and Regulus arrived to join them, the pair abruptly stopped their conversation. Wilhelmina smiled slyly. “Hello you two. Lovely day for a Hogsmeade trip, isn’t it?” The table jerked violently, and Wilhelmina winced.

“Whoopsie,” Des said unapologetically, reaching for the pumpkin juice. “Terribly sorry, I must have kicked you under the table by mistake.”

Wilhelmina was not deterred. “Don’t worry about it, Dezzie, I’m sure it was an accident” said Wilhelmina, before turning her attention to Regulus. “Well now, doesn’t someone look nice today?” Regulus flushed, and Wilhelmina quickly tucked her legs up onto the bench, avoiding another well-aimed kick from Des.

“Are you two coming out to the town today, too?” Regulus changed the subject.

“After what happened the last time we went to Hogsmeade? No way, mate,” McDrew said.

“Aw, poor Woody’s scared,” Wilhelmina teased. “I’d go, but I’ve got detention. I may or may not have set off a dung bomb in the library to get back at my ex and his new girlfriend.”

“Nice,” Des remarked, her mouth full of toast.

“I’m sure you’ll run into some of the others, though. But remember not to bother Marlene and Dorcas if you see them in Madame Puddifoot’s…or be prepared to deal with the consequences.” McDrew, Des, and Wilhelmina all shuddered at her words. “You two crazy kids had better get going. A line’s starting to form. Have fun,” she chirped.

Des rolled her eyes and stood. “And you have fun in detention, Willy. C’mon Reg.” Regulus obeyed and followed Des out of the Great Hall. As he left, he heard Wilhelmina begin to laugh.

“I still don’t see it, Wil. I don’t think it’s a date. I mean, Des and Reg hated each other up until a few months ago,”Regulus heard McDrew’s not-so-subtle whisper to his friend.

“You’re so thick, Woodrow. They’re obviously into each other! Marlene agrees with me. Ah I can’t wait to hear what happens! Rivals to friends to lovers! Just like all of the best books! How romantic!”

Regulus resisted the urge to go back and kick Wilhelmina in the shin himself. If she only knew the true purpose of their trip to Hogsmeade. He couldn’t think of anything less romantic or “cute” than Lord Voldemort’s plans for world domination.

---

Des and Regulus signed out of the castle with the care taker, and set off upon the familiar path to Hogsmeade. A light blanket of pearly-white snow covered the bare tree branches. The morning was grey and overcast, but enjoyably so. The sun could be seen trying to break through the cloud-covered sky. The cold was refreshing, but not biting. Des’s cheeks and nose were rosy from the crisp air.

Des and Regulus kept a few inches distance between each other. Neither one spoke. Regulus thought that this must be the first time in her life that Des was at a loss for words. “So…” Regulus tried to begin a sentence. The words died in his throat. He really didn’t know how to engage in small talk. He’d never really had to worry about speaking when he was with Ginger, and, recently, so much of his life had been devoted to his multiple existential and moral crises, that he seemed to have forgotten how to have a conversation that didn’t involve his family, Death Eaters, or Voldemort. Regulus pleaded with himself to say something, anything. But, his brain obstinately refused to comply.

Des regarded him curiously. “So…I know a place where you can tell me about…your little problem…without any chance of being overheard. I don’t think we should discuss it out in the open like this.”

Of course. Des was focused on their mission—to discuss Regulus’s Voldemort problem. He should be focused on that, too. “You’re absolutely right,” Regulus said, nodding vigorously.

“You know,” said Des after another awkward beat of silence, “just because we can’t talk about whatever it is you want to tell me out in the open, doesn’t mean we can’t talk at all.” She looked up at the trees, in the opposite direction of Regulus. She bit her bottom lip.

Regulus’s cheeks tinged pink. “I-I know. Um. What would you like to talk about?”

Des considered his question. “What’s your favorite color?”

“What? Why?”

“Why? Because I’m trying to get to know you better, Regulus! Now, what’s your favorite color?”

Regulus thought about it for a moment. “Green.”

“Aw, what a good Slytherin,” Des teased him.

“No,” he said, “not Slytherin green. Green like the ocean. When I was younger, Mum and Dad would always take us somewhere warm for the winter. We sat on the beach, and Sirius and I would make sandcastles. It was nice.”

“That sounds nice, spending time with your family…doing normal ‘family’ things. Before they messed with your mind and you joined an evil cult,” she mused.

“That about sums it up,” he agreed, trying to hold onto the memory of the warmth and the sun and the sand. Oh, how things had changed. “How about you?”

“Purple. Royal purple, like kings and queens wear,” she stated immediately. Regulus raised a questioning eyebrow, silently asking her to explain. “I’ve always liked it. Though, I guess it’s also kind of related to a memory. But, just a flash of one—from when I lived in New Orleans with my parents. Right before Dad died, when I was almost four, he brought me to the Mardi Gras parade. I can’t recall the details, but I remember flashes of color: green and purple and gold. And when I close my eyes, I can see his smiling face as he held me and put a purple strand of beads around my neck because he knew it was my favorite.” Des sighed. “Merlin, aren’t we a dramatic pair? We start off at our favorite colors, and end up at the sob stories of our broken families.” She laughed uncomfortably and began playing with the cuffs of her sleeves.

Regulus considered the comment she had made in passing. He thought about his life the past few months. The conversations he’d had, the danger he’d put himself in. Then, he began to laugh. Almost hysterically. He had to stop walking as he doubled over, hands on his knees. She looked a bit concerned. “Regulus? You alright?”

Between gasping breaths, Regulus managed to say, “You-you’re absolutely right! I am so. Fucking. Dramatic!” He lost the ability to speak once again. This time, Des joined in. Together, they stood there, smack in the middle of the trail, laughing. Onlookers passed by and shot them odd looks. But Regulus didn’t care. He felt invigorated—lighter-than-air—like he was forcing out the worries, the darkness that had consumed him for the past years. He couldn’t remember the last time he had laughed this hard for no reason. He felt free. His lungs burned, his stomach muscles ached, yet, he felt alive.

“Do you…do you maybe want to grab a butterbeer like normal people before we go off to your secret dramatic place to talk about my secret, dramatic news?” Regulus asked, before he could think better of it, still high off of his semi-hysterical breakdown.  

Des grinned. “I reckon that’d be a nice change of pace.”

---

“You’re mental! There is no way that Potions is better than Transfiguration!”

“You asked my opinion,” Regulus insisted, spreading his hands out in front of himself defensively. He chuckled at Des’s indignation. “You asked what I preferred! I’m just telling you!”

Regulus and Des were seated at a cozy corner table in The Three Broomsticks, sipping their butterbeer and asking each other trivial questions. Regulus almost felt normal.

Des rolled her eyes. “Merlin, I know, but I thought you’d have the right opinion. I don’t know if we can even be friends anymore, Reg,” she said seriously. Regulus stared back, playing along with her faux aggravation.

“Fine,” he said, matter-of-factly. “We’re not friends anymore. Then I guess I’ll just go off and find some other boisterous Ravenclaw to tell all my secrets to. One who appreciates the subtle art of potion making.” Regulus pretended to get up to leave.

Des tilted her head to the side. “Aw, Reg, it’s sweet you think you’d ever find anyone as ‘boisterous’—as you so delicately put it— as me.” Her façade broke, and she began laughing. Regulus joined in.

“You’re absolutely right,” he joked. “You’re one of a kind.” An awkward silence fell over the table. Regulus averted his eyes. “Ok, my turn. Hm… let me think of a good one…Alright, alright. I’ve got it. Favorite vacation?” He asked.

“Oooooh that’s a tough one, Black. I’ll have to think on it. You go first.”

“Greece,” Regulus replied immediately. “I went to see the Quidditch World Cup there when I was ten. England lost, but it was a great game.”

“Merlin, you went to Greece and all you can talk about is a Quidditch match? Not the ruins or the history?” Des chided.

“Listen, I’m from an ancient line of pureblood wizards. I can look at fancy old stuff whenever I want. But Quidditch,” he sighed dreamily. They both laughed.

“Alright, fair point,” Des conceded. “Quidditch. What a good little pureblood wizarding boy,” she teased.

“Hey, you say that like it’s a bad thing. I’ll have you know I’m one of the most eligible bachelors in pureblood society. As we speak, families are throwing themselves at my parents in the hopes of getting their daughters a piece of all this,” he gestured to himself seductively. Des cracked up. Regulus had never felt so at ease bantering with anyone before.

“Oh my, I must have forgotten! I’m in the presence of wizarding royalty! Lord Black! Please accept my deepest admirations! I kneel down at your feet! I exalt you! I envy the woman who traps your arse!”

“Your turn, Lewis,” Regulus demanded, after their laughter died down. Regulus’s cheeks hurt from smiling so much.

“My turn, right. Okay. The best vacation I’ve ever been on would probably have to be…oh I got it! Our family trip to Cozumel. Uncle Thad was doing some research in Mexico, but Aunt Eliza wanted some time off, so while he worked, she and I went to a resort. I know you can’t really get to know a place just by being in a resort, but I just felt so relaxed. I’d never really bonded in that way with my aunt before—if you couldn’t tell, she’s usually a bit uptight.”

“No, your aunt? Uptight? Preposterous!” Regulus interjected sarcastically.

“I know, what a shocker. But, really, on this trip, we had so much fun together. We sat poolside drinking Piña Coladas and singing that Piña Colada song loudly whenever it came on the radio. It was brilliant.”

“Pee-nya Cold-latas?” Regulus questioned, now seriously. “Song?” Des’s eye widened with glee.

“Merlin’s balls, I forgot all you purebloods aren’t exposed to Muggle culture. Well, let me tell you: Piña Coladas—” Des sounded it out for Regulus “—are by far the best beverage money can buy. They’re made of rum and pineapple and coconut and it’s a rule that you must have one when you are on vacation at the beach,” Des spoke a mile a minute, rambling about her love of the strange-sounding Muggle beverage. Regulus laughed at her enthusiasm.

“Well, if I ever get to the beach again, I’ll have to try one. And there’s a song about them?” Regulus asked, highly amused. Muggles were quite strange.

“Yes! The Piña Colada Song is a musical masterpiece of the modern era,” she waved her hands dramatically. “Oh, my goodness!” She clapped her hands together loudly.  “I’m so excited! I get to be the one who introduces you to the Piña Colada Song! Ugh, maybe Aunt Eliza will send me her record and I can borrow Flitwick’s turntable…I’ll tell him it’s an emergency…why are you looking at me like that? Have I got a butterbeer moustache or something? Because if I did, it would be extremely un-gentleman-like not to tell me!”

Regulus was staring at her, his mouth stretched in an uncontrollable grin. “No, no! Nothing like that. I was just thinking about how…fascinating you are, Des. You really are one of a kind.”

Des looked taken aback. She averted her eyes shyly. “Well,” she said, regaining her usual air of confidence “it’s just… I really like the Piña Colada Song.” A breathy laugh escaped her. Cautiously, Regulus placed a hand outstretched on the table. He tried to act casual about it. Did Regulus really have to talk to her about the Dark Lord? Did he really have to think about the impending doom that awaited everyone he loved if he didn’t figure out Voldemort’s plan? Couldn’t he just leave it to someone else and enjoy his afternoon in peace, like a normal teenage wizard?

Des’s hand twitched, moving slightly towards his own. Before she took it, however, she looked up at the clock beside them. She sighed. “I reckon we’d better go,” she said, draining the last sip of butterbeer from her mug. He frowned, but nodded. She was right.

“Come on then, Reg, time for us to have a chat.”