#my mother says i jump like a 90 year old man btw. so my jumping might not be so joyous. might be like. pathetic

[spacespore]

hi tumblr im being MADLY OBSESSED about soc today!!! ill make some drawings in a bit im gonna finish my history hw first...

ILL POST MY DRAWINGS THIS TIME THOUGH!!!! last time.. i forgot:(

[lightsinthedistancee]

CONGRATULATIONS, IMA! A well-deserved milestone!

Could I please request angst prompt 26. “don’t shut me out.” for our favorite hot space droid dad, Poe? I can’t wait to see what you come up with!

Congrats again!! 💕💕

-@tlcwrites from my main blog (Tumblr, please get on letting us send asks from side blogs!)

Thank you, @tlcwrites! I was so hoping someone would choose this prompt! This one came to me and really spoke to me, and I really enjoyed writing it, so hope you enjoy!

“Don’t shut me out.” + Poe Dameron x Reader

..::::.. ..::::.. ..::::.. ..::::..

Disintegrate

Words: 1k

Summary: “Poe draws in a violent breath of air, hands grabbing his own curls, gripping, pulling, till the pain serves as an existing, yet still insufficient, distraction to his agony.

“He decides a single thing—he has to do better.”

In the aftermath of a failed mission, Poe confronts the unbearable guilt of death under his command.

..::::.. ..::::.. ..::::.. ..::::..

A gambler, a savior, and a mother.

Three pilots. Three people. Gone.

The air is warm, stagnant, a bit suffocating in nature as Poe sits in his room. His head is buried in his hands as he rubs his face, hard enough to hurt whenever the heels of his palms slide over his eyes.

There’s something especially devastating about hearing death over comms. Watching a ship obliterated, pilot and all, and then waiting that dreaded half a second to hear the scream, the cry, the bang in his earpiece.

It’s even more devastating to undergo such a process three times in the midst of a plan of attack he himself had developed.

The first pilot: a young man from Corellia with a penchant and true talent for a good gamble whenever the squadron happened to be on a casino planet. The kind who could calculate every potential move and fill up an entire room with life.

The second: a young one not yet twenty. One that Poe had shared many conversations with, one he’d developed a protectiveness over, one who’d saved the squadron countless times with an intuition Poe could never even dream of possessing.

The third: a woman with a daughter back on Yavin IV, barely a twenty-minute fly from Poe’s childhood home. A daughter that he’d met once, who’d asked him in the pure innocence of a five-year old to ‘keep her mama safe.’

Poe draws in a violent breath of air, hands grabbing his own curls, gripping, pulling, till the pain serves as an existing, yet still insufficient, distraction to his agony.

He decides a single thing—he has to do better.

..::::.. ..::::.. ..::::.. ..::::..

Three pilots is too many for one simple mission, Poe decides. More than one means that one is beyond fate, beyond chance. More than one means that there’s a flaw.

And the desire to find that flaw is Poe’s new obsession. He throws himself into his work, he hides himself from everyone, he recoils from you.

At each of your attempts to console him, he hates himself even more, he hates you even more. He hates the lies that you spew from your lips when you tell him it’s not his fault, he hates when you call them his friends because, yes, they were, but they were more too. They were under his command.

They were his to protect.

And he’d failed.

..::::.. ..::::.. ..::::.. ..::::..

Disintegration.

It’s the first word that comes to your mind when you see what Poe is becoming.

He’s…unhinged, unstable. He doesn’t sleep well. He eats at the oddest hours. He allows work to consume him.

The next mission plan he develops is the new focus of his life. He works late nights on it, sometimes well into the morning, sitting at the desk in your shared quarters, leg bouncing incessantly, non-stop in his hyper-focus.

“Poe,” you say softly one night, approaching him from behind, resting your arms on his shoulders.

He hums quietly, mostly oblivious to your presence, leg still bouncing away.

“It’s late,” you continue. The papers and holopad in front of him are stained with diagrams and notes of an evidently completed and checked-over plan. “What are you doing?”

“Trying to find it,” he mumbles, not even sparing you a glance.

“Find what?”

“The flaw.”

You sigh, eyes slowly shutting. His muscles beneath you are tired. They shift with his movements, wearily helping his body move as you silently stare at the wall.

“This can’t go on forever, love,” you tell him, feeling for the side of his face, touching it gently. “You’re hurting yourself.”

He sighs, rubbing his face tiredly, briefly covering the bags under his eyes.

“It’s not your fault—“

“It is my fault!,” he says loudly, making you jump slightly, his body jerking out of its defeated, slumped-over posture. “Stop fucking saying it’s not.”

You fall silent, grappling with the divided air between the two of you. Without a thought, you drop to your knees before him, gently grasping his hand. “Why do you think it is?” you whisper.

“Because my plan was flawed. I thought we went over this already.”

You merely stare at him in continuing silence. He stares back, unsure of you, of what’s happening, of everything. “No,” you simply state. “Tell me why you think it’s your fault.”

“What?” He looks at you exasperated, for he’s just told you.

“Don’t shut me out, Poe.” You press a kiss to the back of his hand. “Tell me more.”

He blinks, pausing before pulling you up. In such a circumstance, he hates seeing you on your knees before him, as if you’re begging. Perhaps you are. Now you’re asking for something deeper.

As you gently grasp his chin and press a soft kiss to his lips, he melts into you.

Every kiss since the incident had felt like a pity, like a cheap attempt to make him feel better. Every touch had been laced with animosity, for his stress had inevitably sparked your own.

But this one is just you. No other feelings or sensations defiled by a subtle hatred or a brewing conflict. Just your lips, just your fingers.

And he tells.

He tells of a life filled with a nagging need to feel responsible for everyone. A life filled with a horrible anxiety about unintentionally hurting others.

He tells of his parents who’d always presented themselves as expectations of what he had to be just by simply existing.

He tells of the pain he’s seen on the battlefield, of how all of it had built up an insurmountable paranoia of himself being the potential cause of such a thing one day.

And all that fear, all that anxiety had burned brighter and brighter, leading to now, where he’s finally snapped, sitting on the bed with your arms wrapped around him, his face hidden in your hair.

He can feel himself trembling, for he knows that it’s all out there now—his pain, his weakness, his vulnerabilities—and that it can’t be taken back. That it’s become a spot rife with potential for conflict and insecurity.

Yet you still hold him tight, doing your best to soothe his trembles, to make him feel secure in your presence once again. “I’ve got you, love,” you whisper.

..::::.. ..::::.. ..::::.. ..::::..

A/N: There’s like a 90% chance I’ll reformat this into actual fic form as a separate post because I really like it, so if anyone sees this again tomorrow, don’t mind me!

Taglist (for everything): @dark-academics-and-florals @princessxkenobi @theultimateslashgirl @djjarins @jitterbugs927

Taglist (for Poe): @synical-paradox @paper-n-ashes @spider-starry

(Btw, to anyone on my taglist, for the 100 follower prompts, I’ll probably only tag you all on the longer ones or the shorter ones I really, really like. Probably gonna be a lot coming out soon; don’t want to bother y’all 🙂)

Anyone who wants to be added to my taglist, just let me know!

[talesofafangirlwithadvr]

JULY PICKS!

You heard me correctly, I said JULY! Whoosh, this year is going by fast-but not in a good way if you know what I mean. This will be my last monthly wrap up where I am strictly staying home in quarantine as this upcoming week I’m heading back to work in person. Wish me luck!

We had quite the range this month from newly released, reality, musical and then some favorites from last month that I’ve continued watching. Without further ado here we go....

There’s going to be PLENTY of SPOILERS this go round. ESPECIALLY with my first pick of Stargirl. You’ve been warned!!!

DC’S STARGIRL

I need to talk about 1x10 or I’m going to burst!!! As stated above there will be A LOT of SPOILERS IN THIS POST!! So scroll down to the next picture if you don’t want it to be spoiled. 

You’ve been warned...again.

IT CANNOT END LIKE THAT!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? Henry! Wow! 1) Epic fighting 2) The backstory and how he wasn’t going to give up on his dad AND THEN how he wouldn’t give into his dad. 3) HE DIED RATHER THAN JOIN HIS SIDE OR PRETEND (which I honestly felt was going to happen). His character arc and I can’t believe it’s over!!! 4) His speech at the end: *weeping.* I knew Brainwave was going to say he killed his mother. It just felt like the build up. Brainwave Jr. would have been a GREAT ADDITION TO THE JSA! AND OMG THE WAY THE REST OF THEM FOUGHT FOR HIM! I loved how they framed it so you could still see them in the back when Henry spoke to his father. Super heartbreaking. Man, it feels like a lot of people have been killed off this first season (or am I just still thinking about Joey?) 

Side note: Check out the Instagram Live between father and son Brainwave on Stargirl’s CW page. Jake Austin Walker did an AWESOME interview in his take over.

This was one of the strongest episodes overall and definitely one of my favorites so far. I agree with many others that while it is SOO GOOD and I want to rewatch it again, I don’t know if I can emotionally yet. I can’t remember the last time I felt that way about a show. 

Some other thoughts this episode: WAY TO GO BARBARA! Way to record them to translate later (such an awesome app btw, how do I get it?). I’m glad her and Pat came more to an understanding because I love them especially with that glimpse into how they met. Jordan’s parents give me the creeps, like the couple from The Visit vibes. I feel like Mike’s got to find out ASAP, especially because he’s spent time in the garage. Something’s got to show him the truth; because I’m really feeling he figures it out rather than being told. Very curious to see what his reaction will be. SOLOMON GRUNDY. Thank God Beth talked Rick down. She really is like Chuck in being the voice of reason. She did really well in the cafeteria too. While I still don’t believe Starman is Courtney’s dad, how cute was it when she put together her and Henry were cousins? Speaking of Court’s dad, who else didn’t feel like Starman was her dad until they saw that upcoming promo? I don’t know who that impostor is but he is not her dad. Something’s fishy.

Loving this show. So happy it’s renewed for a second season!! 

THE 100

From a show I can’t get enough of to one whose final season is a disappointment. I’m not going to spend too much time talking about The 100 because I feel I’ll just be repeating myself from previous posts. However, I did want to include it because I haven’t spoken much about the previous 2 episodes that I wound up watching back to back and I didn’t overly dislike them. 

As many have complained, when you have a final season you shouldn’t introduce SO MANY new characters and just push aside your originals (or the ones who are left). You also shouldn’t include so many confusing plots that are making it look like were the main points overall (like this many world concept was around since the first grounders) and playing with time in so many episodes is hard to keep up with too. Having so many people separated makes it difficult to remember what just happened to this specific group because I haven’t seen them in forever. ANYWAY, I did promise some positives. I didn’t except to like 7x08 because of it being a flashback episode with brand new people that was just going to feel like a potential spin-off pilot. Well...I actually really enjoyed it and the concept that the bunker was used before One Crew. The characters were easy to like and it was cool seeing Allie again (and this time not as the villain). While it felt forced including the orb (is that what it’s called? If not that’s what I’m calling it), but I liked how all the other pieces fit together (ex: the flame, the grounders’ language). Honestly, I surprise myself to say this, but I’d watch another episode. For 7x09, I liked being on Bardo and watching Octavia, Echo, Diyoza and Hope slowly get “brainwashed” I mean trained. We all knew it wouldn’t work for Hope and if I was them I would rather be on Sky Ring than Bardo (but then I guess I’d go crazy, so...) I enjoy the Octavia and Levitt relationship and would love them to work out, but if this show taught you anything it’s to be skeptical. I also want to shift to the Primes plot, just to showcase John Murphy for a second. THAT MAN! What a character development he’s had on this show. From the first season where I was like come on Murphy to now me awaiting his scenes. From cockroach to someone who won’t view himself as a hero. So good and something that is fantastic about this final season. They might have forgotten about other characters, but they’re doing it right by Murphy. 

Well, that was more than I was expecting. ;)   

THE CIRCLE

It feels like I haven’t watched a lot of reality TV this year, which makes sense because of our quarantine situation (but then again I’m watching World of Dance, but that’s a different because it’s more of a competition/dance show. I’ll stop rambling). The Circle is a reality ‘game’ show that could be easily completed during quarantine and social distancing because the contestants do not see each other in person. They each have an apartment in this complex and only communicate with each other on a social media platform called the Circle. The objective is to become the most popular and an influencer who gets power over who stays and who goes in the competition. There’s some side contests throughout, but most of the show is just people chatting through an insta messenger and trying to learn as much as they can. Alliances are formed and cat fishes try to thrive all for the grand prize of $100,000. (Wow, that’s a lot!) It is SUPER addicting and very funny. Having a voice-over narrator really makes it even funnier because she says what we’re all thinking. Just about every episode a contestant leaves and then is able to meet one other person in their apartment. It’s been cool seeing their reactions as oftentimes it’s someone they did not expect AT ALL. I can’t wait to finish it. If you’re a fan of Big Brother than this is definitely for you. Looks like there will be a second season, which I am excited about.  

THE BABYSITTERS CLUB

Jumping from one Netflix show to another. Released on Netflix on July 3rd, I tried not to binge it all in one day because then it would be over (and we still don’t know if there will be a second season yet). This is definitely my feel good watch for July. If you want something that’s a quick watch and just wholesome and fun to escape our current world than this is for you. I always felt so happy after watching and couldn’t wait to watch another. While I was familiar with the franchise--the 90s movie and of course the books (although I was more of a Babysitter Little Sister fan, so I was very excited to see Karen), you don’t have to have any knowledge of the Babysitters Club to enjoy this show. I was hooked just about right away by this new series shown by me watching the first three episodes back to back. I really like how they set up each episode with one girl as the main focus (just like in the books) where she takes over the voice-over narration. Great representation and made modern to fit in with our current times. The first example that comes to mind is when Mary Ann babysits Bailey who is transgender. I liked how Bailey says those are her old clothes while they’re playing. It’s shown in a way that explains the situation without feeling like a lecture. It fits so naturally into the episode. And then Mary Ann’s speech at the hospital is super powerful for both Bailey and herself. This is just one example of how well represented this show is. Extremely strong cast and actresses who are the proper ages. I also love the adult casting and how they threw in a Clueless reference from Alicia Sliverstone (who plays Kristy’s Mom). As someone who is writing for this age group, I really liked hearing and seeing how authentic this show is. 

FEEL THE BEAT

A Netflix original movie that has been on my list for a while that I just got around to watching. It didn’t come out too long ago. In the film, Sofia Carson’s character is a dancer who is a perfectionist. She gets on the bad side of a big NYC producer when she not only leaves her in the rain as she steals her taxi, but also knocks her, accidentally, off stage and becomes a viral video-this basically blackmails her in Broadway. This all happens within about the first 10 minutes of the film and the majority takes place back in her small home town (very Hallmark-like) in Wisconsin. While there her old dancing teacher wants her to share her Broadway wisdom with her young students. Meanwhile Carson has only been a chorus girl, so she doesn’t really have any. What draws her to helping the young girls is the chance to perform in front of a big choreographer that could get her to be the star she always dreamed of. The catch is that it’s the teacher dance in the childrens dance competition. While this might sound like a movie you’ve watched many times before, it was still worth it and a really fun watch. I think the kids really make the movie. They are adorable, funny and super talented. You feel connected with them really fast and want to see them succeed. I loved Dickie and how he joined the group. I think he was my favorite overall. I loved how inclusive the cast was here too (just like BSC) from a mixed race family, to single parents and even a student who was Deaf. It was great seeing the other actors sign to her. Carson’s character, April, can be annoying at times, but you understand it’s her character and something she needs to overcome. As I said before the plot may seem familiar, but the ending was something I didn’t see coming. Overall, wholesome, feel good and fun for the whole family. You can consider to watch while babysitting. (See what I did there??)  

VIOLETTA SEASON 2

She’s back! I know last month when I included Violetta it was mainly me being excited to see the second season FINALLY streaming on Disney Plus. I had watched a few episodes (remember there’s 80 altogether, so even if I watched 20 that’s still very early on and just a dent in the season) and was still getting used to this season. Well, now I’m happy to report I am in the 40s and more than half way. For a bit I was watching many of these episodes a day, which told me that I was loving it again. Recently, I feel I need a little more of a push to watch, but it’s mainly because of certain story-lines that feel like they’re dragging. (For example: Violetta’s voice. One minute it’s fine and the next she’s like dying). For this section I have two words: LOVE TRIANGLES. And I’m not just talking about Violetta, Diego and Leon. For a bit it felt like each character had their own love triangle, which honestly I was loving. These characters have definitely developed a lot from last season, which allows this to happen. Olga was in a love triangle, which just recently got resolved. I think German is still in one because of his alter ego Jeremias. Jackie was “kind of” in one. For her it was more of a misunderstanding, which is very classic on this show. Lots more secrets have been uncovered in these episodes as well as songs! You know how excited I am for those. Overall, I think I’m still enjoying season 1 songs more (which get referenced enough in this season), but some of the season 2 ones are really growing on me. Specifically Leon’s Entre dos mundos and when he sings with Diego Euphoria in English. Also, Yo Soy Asi has been real catchy. I know Frederico will be coming back soon and I can’t wait to see him again!  

HAMILTON

Like many I watched Hamilton this month-actually on the day it came out. It’s been a musical that I’ve been intrigued by, but never thought I’d get a chance to watch because of how popular and expensive it is to see on Broadway. So, I was very excited to hear I’d get the chance when it was to be released in theaters for a special event. Then because of Corona it was released to Disney Plus, which was EVEN more convenient and exciting. I really enjoyed it and watched it twice within the same week. I immediately downloaded the playlist and started singing it around the house. I do this a lot with many of the plays I see, but depending how good they are is shown by how long I listen to the soundtrack. (Some of my top ones are Bandstand, Once, Newsies and Anastasia.) Because there are so many songs in Hamilton it is taking me a little longer to know all the words, but I feel pretty confident with the first act. It was the perfect timing for this to be released on Disney Plus. Not only because it was July 3rd, but also because of the world we are living in. Lin’s diverse cast brings to life the world of 1776 and the revolutionary war (as well as the time after it), but it’s such a strong commentary on our world today. This is something I am continually noticing with historical dramas/pieces being released within the last 5-10 years. It feels like there’s more we can say in this genre than in a commentary piece. I also like all the analysis videos I’ve seen popping up, which just make it even more powerful. (Like it being Eliza’s story and her putting herself back in the narrative. That the play Hamilton is named for both her and Alexander.) I don’t know if all of what I see were intentional, but  either way well done. I hope it doesn’t leave Disney Plus soon. 

1917

And lastly, 1917. I promised quite the range this month and you can see that’s definitely the case. I always enjoy watching war films and with 1917 there was so much hype (both before it came out and after) that I was interested to give it a watch. Giving the movie to my dad for father’s day felt like the perfect excuse to be able to watch it. Even though our DVD stuck in a few places (still don’t know if it was the player or the DVD itself), the film was very entertaining and I would suggest it to anyone who is a history/film buff. Taking place in WWI, we follow two British soldiers as they attempt to deliver a message about an upcoming ambush that could take countless lives. I feel that I often watch more films revolving around WWII, so it was very interesting to be immersed in the first great war. After watching I am not surprised that the film was up for so many Oscars. While cinematography is the first thing everyone discusses when it comes to this movie (and it should be because the one shot/long shot is sooo impressive and beautiful to watch. It really brings you into the scene and has a way of making you feel like you’re there too. There’s a realness to it that’s raw and new compared to other war films I’ve watched in the past), there’s so much more to this film too. First, I like how it connects back to Sam Mendes’ grandfather, so while it’s not a true story it has real facts in it. I LOVE the score and music to this film. In the scene where George Mackay runs at night through those ruined buildings I could really hear how well the music worked with the action. Because of this I made sure to listen to some of the soundtrack and now I’ve added some of the songs into my writing playlist. I have chills just thinking about it. The other point I want to bring up is the cast! While there are SO MANY big names in this film from Colin Firth to Benedict Cumberbatch, the two main characters are played by George Mackay and Dean Charles Chapman and they are the ones with the most screen time. If their chemistry and acting wasn’t so great then the movie wouldn’t be as successful as it is. Because of this I have been watching non-stop YouTube interviews of the two of them for this film. 

They are so well-spoken, stand-up guys and I can’t get enough of their dialogues with each other and others. (You should watch these interviews too). While familiar with Chapman’s time on Game of Thrones, I haven’t seen him in much else, so I’m excited to see what he’ll have in the future (as well as checking out his IMDB page). For Mckay, I’ve seen him before when I just watched Ophelia earlier this summer so that was my first time watching him act. After that film I was curious what else he was in, but it was only after 1917 that I started doing more research. So far, I’ve only been able to watch the short film he was in called Infinite. While only 17 minutes it was very strong and deep. I highly recommend. As I’ve shared on this page already, in another post, the more I hear him talk the more of a crush I am developing. It’s been a long time since I’ve experienced a celebrity crush this strong so soon. This quarantine has to end so I can make it to England to just casually bump into him like one does. :) 

[onedayiwillactuallywriteafanfic]

Shay

Part 1 of: The Silver Haired Girl

This is a PJO and HP crossover with original characters, enjoy!

No warnings, and this series is going to be about Leigh Carson, who I previously mentioned in a different most. I said she was a muggleborn Syltherin student at Hogwarts, and this is part of the whole story. (I’m rambling now, sorry.) 

(It’s a few pages length, btw.) 

We pressed the buzzer for the Carsons’ apartment. 

   “What do you want?” It was a gruff male voice, must be her dad.

   “Is Leigh home? We’re her friends.” Amelia told him. 

   “LEIGH! SOME PEOPLE CLAIM TO BE YOUR FRIENDS.” 

   “OKAY, THEN LET THEM UP!” Leigh yelled back, like it was the most obvious answer in the world. 

   “DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, YOUNG LADY! We’re in 3B, come on.” 

   They buzzed us in. 

   We passed a man on the way in, who completely ignored us like we weren’t there. 

   Three floors later we knocked on 3B. You could hear the music out in the hall, and all the lyrics to the song were clear. I’m not sure how Leigh heard us. (It wasn’t even good music, it was all country and 90s pop stuff.) 

   She opened the door with an angry face, but it wasn’t directed at us. “What happened to y’all? And why are you here?” 

   “Can we come in?” I asked, glancing around nervously. I didn’t like this place, it seemed a little sketchy. 

   She raised her eyebrows, “Sure.” 

   I would say I was surprised by the decorations, or somewhat lack thereof, but I wasn’t. There were boxes everywhere, still unpacked from when they moved. There was a recliner that I’m pretty sure three people could fit in, and a loveseat couch. The coffee table had empty beer bottles on it. There’s only one picture on the mantle, with what must be Leigh and her parents. 

   Leigh moved out of the doorway, and grumbled as she grabbed up all the beer bottles.

   “Where’s your dad?” Amelia asked. 

   “Just left. Went to the bar or something.” 

   “Don’t the neighbors care about the horrible music?” I almost have to shout to be heard.

   She shrugged and turned the CD player off, to help us. “So, what brings you here?” 

   “We need a ride to summer camp in the morning.” I explained. 

   “From me?” 

   “Yeah. My parents are out of town.” 

   “Okay, sure. My dad probably won’t be back tonight anyway, and I have to truck keys.” 

   “We leave in the morning?” I suggested. It would be better not to travel at night. 

   “Okay.” Amelia said. 

   “Good. Now, c’mon, I have bandages around here somewhere for your face, and hands and stuff.” Leigh said, taking Amelia by the wrist to drag her away. 

   “Shay? Are you injured?” I swear Amelia acted like my mama goat-I mean, human. 

   “No, I’m fine.” 

   She narrowed her eyes but didn’t say anything, and went with Leigh to the bathroom. 

   I sat down in the recliner. It felt off, like someone else’s property. 

   I must’ve fallen asleep, because next thing I knew, Amelia was asleep on the couch. There was music coming from somewhere close. I got up to investigate. 

   The apartment hallway had two bedrooms on either end, with a bathroom in the middle. One door was shut, but the music was coming from the other end. The lights were on in Leigh’s room. The rest of the house looked like they’d just moved in, but this room looked lived in. And like Leigh. 

   She had the blondest hair. It looked like she bleached it, because the color was so white it looked silver, but it was natural. Her bright blue glasses frames were falling down her nose. She was wearing shorts, and a t-shirt for a baseball team I’d never heard of. 

   She moved around the room gracefully, dancing to the music. She had some mix of ballet and modern going on. She did a turn, and saw me lingering in the doorway.

“Want me to dance with you?” The song was slow.

   Her face was annoyed, like she was going to yell at me, but also like she was dizzy. “Shay-

   “Oh, c’mon, it’ll be fun.” I grabbed her hand, and the world went dark.

   In short: I was confused. 

   I saw a boy about my age, five, with bleach blonde hair like mine. Twin brother, I thought. He asked to dance with me, and I happily obliged. We took turns spinning to the music on the record player, giggling the whole time. 

   Hold up. Record player? When was this? That’s when I remembered that I was Shay, not Leigh. Was this her memory?

   The scene changed. Leigh was about nine this time. There was a peacock in front of her. 

   “Libra! Come do your lessons!” Someone-Mother-yelled. They poked their head out the door of a huge old English mansion. Scary looking, too. “What are you doing?! Lucius! She’s talking to peacocks, now!” 

   “Talking to? No. At least they’re better company than you.” Leigh said. The voices sounded weird to me, though I couldn’t place why. 

   “What did you just say to your mother?” A man-Father-demanded. I could sense Leigh hated them both. They looked so uptight, the opposite of Leigh. They did look like her though, the man shared her hair, and her mother shared her blue eyes. 

   “I said that the peacocks were better than both of you! Your horrible people! You-“ Leigh was cut off by her father’s hand smacking her across the face. She hurried inside to do her lessons. 

   Scene change.

 �� Leigh held a letter in her hand. It was her acceptance in a school. Her brother, about eleven, held an identical one. His face looked familiar, but probably just because he was related to Leigh. Her parents were finally proud of her. She could finally get away from them. 

   He looked familiar. I know I had seen his face before but I couldn’t place it. Maybe her had a look alike in a movie or something. 

   Another scene changed. 

   Leigh and her brother were in a room that must’ve been Leigh’s. They each had books everywhere. 

   “This is too much homework.” She complained. 

   “Well, at least we can go to Hogsmeade this year.” Her brother said.

   “Guess what I’m going to do?” She whispered excitedly.

   “What?” He didn’t want to break rules and get in trouble like she did.

   “Get a muggle music player. And I know the muffling charm now.” 

   “Libra, you can’t do that.” 

   “Yes I can, Dragon.” 

   “Don’t call me Dragon, it’s a stupid name for a thirteen year old.” 

   “Whatever.” 

   Scene change. 

   Leigh was listening to her parents talk about her in the living room, spying, basically. 

   “If we marry her off to someone, then she’ll have to learn how to behave and be a lady. Yes?” Father said. 

   “Well, planning the wedding would take a lot of her free time, and I could watch her yes.” Mother agreed.

   “Good, and then she’ll be too busy to misbehave. Now we just have a find a perfect match.” 

   Mother must’ve nodded, because Father kept going. Leigh was angry. Very, very, angry.

   She sat still while her parents came up with matches for her, and even when they wrote a letter to the parents of one of these kids. That’s when she decided they were being completely serious. 

   Scene change.

   “Please, Drake, help me?” Leigh pleaded to her brother. It was midnight, of the same day.  

   “What do you want me to do?” 

   “I’m going to run away. I want you to erase me from everyone’s memories.” 

   “Run away?” 

   “Please?” She begged. 

   He agreed after a few minutes of her explaining what she’d overheard.

   They jinxed pens, with wands, so that if they wrote on their hand with it, the message would appear in the same spot for the other person. 

   Scene change. 

   Leigh held an hourglass looking thing. Writing appeared on her hand.

   Love you. Ready. On three, one two three!

   Leigh waited a minute or so after, then flipped the hour glass and appeared thirteen years later years later. 

   I woke up on the apartment floor. Leigh was next to me, and she gasped and pulled my hand from her wrist. The glare I was given came with a growl.

   “You weren’t supposed to see that!” 

   “What was it?” 

   “Don’t play dumb. You might be stupid, but your not that stupid.” 

   “Your memories. Everyone spoke so weirdly.” Realization dawned on me, “Your British!” 

   “Really? I had no idea.” She gets to her feet. She doesn’t talk with a British accent, even after I point the fact that she had one at some point.

   “But, your accent? You-I’m confused.” 

   “Good.” She stood up. 

   I sat up. “Leigh, what happened? Was that...magic?” 

   Leigh’s anger didn’t disappear, but she calmed a little, and pulled a box out from under her bed. She took the lid off it revealing a few books and a wooden stick. 

   “This is my wand.” She looked around, and found a book to put on the floor in front of her. 

   “Wingardium leviosa,” she muttered, making the book levitate into the air. 

   “Whoa,” I said. She stopped and the amazement wore off. “Why’d you leave?” 

   “My parents decided to marry me off to someone. I knew it was going to happen eventually, but at least if I was eighteen then I could just, like, leave. You wanna know how old I was?” I figured she didn’t really want an answer, so I didn’t say anything. “I was thirteen.” She buried her head in her hands.

   “Okay, so are you like from a different time or something? Because record players? And marriage at thirteen?” She hadn’t stopped me from asking questions, so I kept going. 

   “I was born in 1980. I only jumped forward about thirteen years.” 

   “You should be like thirty!” 

   “Oh, yeah? What year were you born?” 

   “Can I not answer?” Truthfully, I am the same age as Leigh. Born in 1980. That’s alarming. 

   “Sure whateve-”

   “Your from Harry Potter!” Realization dawned on me. Her brother looked just like Tom Felton. 

   “What about Potter? Huh?” 

   “It’s a book and movie series. Your-your brother, is the Malfoy kid. Oh, ew.” 

   “Wait, how do you-”

    A scream from the living room interrupted her.

[dancekickboxcardio]

I am already up and it is actually early. Vie, isn’t that what you wanted. Mmmmmhm. I feel a little sickly 🤒. I took some Advil 💊 last night. It’s like I am hot 🥵 like fever malaise. I didn’t want to be under the weather ☁️ I am erring more on feeling fine versus 🆚 yeah, the cold virus 🦠 is actually staying in your bod and it has been creating tiny havocs on your system. It doesn’t know that your work outs 🏃🏼‍♀️ 💪🏾 are exhausting 😩. But it just does what it does and it wins when you don’t allow yourself to rest and recover. I don’t find it frustrating that my training 👟 is interrupted by bouts of partial illness. I also protect myself in a regard that even if I am not bed 🛌 stuck, I call the entire thing off under the idea 💡 that if you don’t contain this infection, it shall be worse. I am actually lazy yesterday. You are allowed to put your feet up and not do anything. I didn’t feel that I am wasting my life 😏. Yet I didn’t also feel that I am going somewhere and to me that is important ⚠️. I feel that most of people’s problem is that they get bogged down in that indecision. I mean, it’s not that simple. You have feelings, social pressures, how you process and really it’s a tough call. Ugh 😑, Vie is always calling it as it is “without difficulty” getting there, sticks by it and continues. It’s as complicated as getting rid of a cold 🤧 germs in molecular and physiological systems. I am doing what I can. I am sleeping 💤 earlier, I am disinfecting, I am being clean 🧼 like washing my hand 🖐🏾 esp when handling food 🥘, I bundle up 🧣 🧤, I am boosting my immunity. Here’s the clincher. You have to pinpoint exactly what’s going on in your body and institute therapy that promotes healing like duh 🙄. Yes, I need recovery and tons of rest as there is inflammation and tiny muscle tears in me physically. Rest, rest, rest. I feel like I should do what I feel like. Do what is astute. Others might not see that. Others however notice what is exceptional.

I asked Google mini what time it was. I finally decided to get up 🛏 and whoa whoa 😳 whoa it’s nine thirty 🕤 already. I lingered in the sack for that long. Yes, the second hand is 🕰 inching faster 💨 than what my brain 🧠 thinks or better word perceives it does. What are your list of things 📝 in task master? My cats 🐈 🐈 🐈 have been letting out noise to “speak” to me. I said hi 👋🏾 to them. I haven’t hugged 🤗 them but I have been kissing 😚 Wawames. He’s always following me. Yeah, I was very not cohesive in my day’s plans 🖊 . Today however it shall be different. What was my thing yesterday. I was listening 👂🏾 to American Constitution lecture 💻 yesterday. After two 10 minutes clip I told my BFF I should and could nap 💤 now. It is essential to be not sick and do the things I do in the studio and health club floor. I took an introductory in Political Science. So it is not like foreign. But Professor Roosevelt is so interesting 🤔. He is lecturing on what’s not obvious. I love ❤️ it. My Dad is early to work today 👨🏻‍🔧 and gave me a pat in the back well not literally praised me for taking care of my dirty dishes 🍽. I have been putting it off and doing it when I have the time and yesterday, after waking up from my just an hour snooze 😴 time, I wasn’t feeling well at all. However, between the Advil 💊 and antioxidants, I have to make sure I do this chore before I call it a very early day. He goes and he is right, you should spend little times of your day to do it so it doesn’t pile up. He is correct. I agree with him. He is teaching something great. Does it mean I am going to do it? No. Why? I have a mind of my own.

What was my day like Tuesday 📆? I didn’t think 🤔 I would remember a lot but taking pictures 📸 jogs your memory. I love 💕 that connection. It makes your life so much meaningful. So taking random shots is actually good for your heart ❤️ too. The ACTUAL Vie wouldn’t give that time of the day. But she is making herself do it because life is beautiful if you care to see it as it is and not if you are like me acting on it constantly and moving, moving, moving. Vie, you are like where all action come from. I didn’t expect it to be. It’s kind of sad 😢 not for me. I have to take care of the people around me too. I am an expert on this and I actually have the final say on what gets life and what whithers. I must I realize not not carry others with me and not be neglectful and build a relationship. I have to make sure that how I view things is not my own inclination, tendencies and strengths. I have to see how those who love 💗 me carry on. In a better less wordy sense, team work. You don’t live in a vacuum. My success is not my personal own. It ensures that those precious people who I give my love 😍 and devotion also are able to surpass life so inordinarily thrusts upon them. They don’t end up infantile criminal druggies alcohol dependent as if that’s not embarrassing. They have to do their work and I meet them there too. You think 💭 I am strong 💪🏾 because I am. In a way, for good and bad, I have a supportive father and strategic mother.

What I am trying to say is I look 👀 at the pictures and I am back to the place. I remember seeing Laura in the front desk, the old man 👴🏻 who sat on the bigger chair, another member who left his empty water 💦 bottle next to me, the Spa 🧖🏼‍♀️ Life receptionist, Keya wearing red child center shirt 👚 etc. I have been starting late and I love ❤️ it because I am actually doing things not just for myself. I’m helping others make an impression of the world 🌎 as I see it. Here’s a big point, how I see it doesn’t mean they agree. Like any men and women who reason, you get to form your own opinions and knowing me I am not going to press what I believe on how you think 💭. I am just “vocal” and I’ll challenge how you determine things for yourself. It might sound crazy 😜 but it is not as sinister as sensationally getting you suck in on my agenda and forcefully and without boundaries make obvious fearful 😧 threats to absolutely you having to agree side with me. See the difference. You like me for what I am and not what I feed on you so you can see I am like the better person and I am using you and your resources 👏🏾.

I didn’t do exactly as I had penly 🖊 scheduled 🗓 it. BTW, in my dreams this morning I was trying to outsmart bad guys and I was shopping 🛒 for planners 📓. I am sure that subconscious has real life basis. How to Interpet dreams I think 💭 by Carl Jung. I also want to add that I know some monarch are mad like they have lost their touch to reason and see things as they actually are. Bizarre things. Well, you have to see that there are extreme pressures out on them and really if you think 🤔 about it they really live apart and process things different. They are rulers. Although I feel that when Kings have a dream and they act on it like some divine prophecy similarly they have Seers right who have premonition guess what? I feel that is your brain firing 💥 up making conscious real life events. It makes you feel what you give value to tremendously and what’s happening around you. Is it rational to follow your dreams? It is sensical and intuitive. My take is you have to be a strong intellect. Why am I talking about the unconscious? Ah, what I had detaily want to do versus 🆚 what was done ✅. I paid attention to what Lindsey said in personal training. She was great. She is a baby 👶🏻 to her expert coworkers but she is not like she is not strong about her knowledge based. Just remember that work is more than what you know. It is finding the right fit. Navigate the social, political, cultural and business terrain 🗺 ⛰. She is in the Cleveland Clinic of gyms. She says weight lift 🏋🏼‍♀️ first before cardio ♥️. It has something to do with taxing your muscles 💪🏾 🦵🏾. I did. What was I working on? Legs. I also made a deliberate decision 🤨 to start late and not go toe to toe on rush hour gym 🏃🏼‍♀️ 💪🏾 time. More exposure to bacteria 🧫 and viruses. It’s not that busy lately. I feel that most people are sick 🤕. I think 💭 Thanksgiving 🦃 is coming up. I was ill last year. Was I? I should celebrate. Black Friday. Oooh 😯, right, I have to see what’s their deal 🏷 at Abercrombie 🛍. I said hi 👋🏾 to Katie. I was keeping to myself this day because I yoga 🧘🏼‍♀️ stretched to begin in the studio listening 🎧 to news 🗞 and you have to realize I was sitting there for an hour ⏲ doing serious work. We talked about the weather and mood. Usually, I am gabby superfluous. I tried to keep my mouth shut 🤐. More processing, less socializing if you must help it. At thirty minutes my left hips was hurting at GTX station. I remem from magazine that if something is painful 😣 stop 🛑 right away. I observed it a little bit more. I have to be nice to my body and did hip flexor stuff. I wanted 90 minute ⏱ cardio.

I filled out my worksheet completely ✍🏾 and I love 💕 my own subjective take on the stuff I did. It might be neglible even if the psych grad 👩🏼‍🎓 in me knows it is greatly not just for productivity 📊📈📉 and keeping tabs, it’s work miracles for processing things that happened and what needs to improved, continued and see little nuggets of refined methods. I loved 💗 Dance Jams 💃🏼. I was jumping. Ayayay. But I noticed working on my legs and having that woman 👩🏼 attitude, enjoying 😊 what I do and learning new moves 👣. I am so happy 😀 cool down. Angie is super. Mariah Carey for stretches 🙆🏼‍♀️. What could go wrong 🎊 ?

[wisehowell]

just a lot of questions

got tagged by @teatowelhowell to answer these 92 questions- that’s a lot, btw THE LAST 1. Drink: water 2. Phone Call: one of my best friends to rant about something 3. Text Message: hm oh on sc i was ranting about bts to another best friend 4. Song You Listened To: let’s open spotfiy... coming home by tuen/anki. oh that’s a good song. i don’t think anyone knows it exists, but 5. Time You Cried: heh like i remember i probably hit my toe against something HAVE YOU EVER 6. Dated Someone Twice: lol single life (my parents no let me anyway) 7. Been Cheated On: heh 8. Kissed Someone And Regretted It: heh 9. Lost Someone Special: my grandma :( also three best friends bc we went to different high schools and it was too hard to stay together 10. Been Depressed: uhm no i’m too confident it’s kinda insane but yea 11. Gotten Drunk and Thrown Up: yep, at age fifteen. (altho i’m like 19ish days away from sixteen) LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS 12. teal, green with a hint of blue. not aqua, which is blue with a hint of green. 13. silver (especially if it shimmers) 14. a rich blue IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU 15. Made New Friends: of course! i made about thirty, idk. but i love em all. some graduated high school tho so now i’m sad 16. Fallen Out of Love: what is love 17. Laughed Until You Cried: duhhh 18. Found Out Someone Was Talking About You: nah i’m that “smart, cute girl that’s too loud and follows every rule ever” according to my friends we got no drama 19. Met Someone Who Changed You: my four best friends 20. Found Out Who Your True Friends Are: mhm. for now. but college... 21. Kissed Someone On Your Facebook: do you mean ig or sc bc fb is dead 22. How Many of Your Facebook Friends Do You Know in Real Life: like i have fb no it’s for old people like my parents 23. Do You Have Any Pets: a hermit crab named digger! nickname- diggles 24. Do You Want To Change Your Name: well my name is annoying bc ‘phoebe’ is never in any gift shops and people (guy friends mostly) say it wrong on purpose or spell it wrong. people i’ve known for years spell my name wrong- pheobe. i’d change it to idk what something cool like olivia or kat. 25. What Did You Do For Your Last Birthday: that was a year ago jeez but i think i went to a waterpark 26. What Time Did You Wake Up: 7, altho today was a rarity usually it’s 8ish 27. What Were You Doing at Midnight Last Night: tumblr and anime and sc 28. Name Something You Cannot Wait For: taylor swift’s new album. yes i’m a swiftie. fight me. 29. When Was The Last Time You Saw Your Mother: last night i’m still in bed lol 30. What is One Thing You Wish You Could Change About Your Life: my mom having the job she wants instead of being a librarian. nothing about me tho i’m good. 31. What Are You Listening To Right Now: i paused my music for that other question but okay the same song as before 32. Have You Ever Talked To a Person Named Tom: i know a tommy? but his full name is thomas. 33. Something That Is Getting On Your Nerves: fffffa- i’m not saying 34. Most Visited Website: google 35. Elementary: idk what that is but im assuming you mean primary school? so my favourite memories of primary school was egg-rolling in the park, my first best friend, sandboxes, jumping pig game, the ditch, cleaning fruit baskets, horrible pizza,SITTING ON THE MOTHERFUCKIN BENCHES, the music trolley, the ditch, love tunnel, shirt signing, plimsolls, penguin bar jokes, bringing in an old shirt for art, lunchables, recorder lessons, the shoes from clarkes with the shitty toys in the heel, doughnut socks, the 3d shape bag,PGL/ Residential trips, stuck in the mud, turning the lights off in the toilet, biff and chip, being told we were to big for the play equipment in year 6. (I feel like that was the most british thing I’ve ever written and any americans probably have no fuckin clue what half of these things are)

OKAY BUT I’M KEEPING  WHAT @teatowelhowell PUT BECAUSE as an american i have no idea what this says. like jumping pig game? lol is that like��the frog jump game kids do? but pigs are frogs bc maybe there’s no frogs over there? altho i don’t think so. i know what a trolley is from british vlogs. but love tunnel? plimsolls? shoes with toys in the heels? biff and chip? huh? girl your language is confusing. as for my elementary it was pretty and i made a lot of friends but they all went to a diff high school & middle bc of boundaries so i only know like ten people from my elementary in high school. 36. High School: should i tell you? my mascot is shark 37. College/University: hm i wanna go to uc davis or uc something. 38. Hair Colour: brown with goldish highlights that are natural bc my dad used to be completely blond and i guess i got some of that 39. Long Hair or Short Hair: like medium 40. Do You Have A Crush On Someone: no bro just jensen ackles 41. What Do You Like About Yourself: i make friends with literally everyone i love it 42. Piercings: no bc i do year round soccer- for like ten years- so i never had time XD also i know why piercings are popular and how it all started with early us- natives- so idk it seems kinda uncivilized to stick a hole in a body part and put a stone in it. so when i’m done with soccer i don’t think i’ll pierce my ears bc it’s kinda weird to me 43. Blood Type: my parents don’t even know. whatever the most common one is, i’m sure 44. Nickname:(phoebe is pronounced FEEBEE) phoebs, phoebster, fo-e-be, phobe wan kenobi, anne (i give other people nicknames usally) 45. Relationship Status: go away 46. Zodiac Sign: leo. roar. 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite TV Show: Supernatural, Reign, Once Upon a Time, Sherlock, Arrow, Gravity Falls when it still lived 49. Tattoos: no 50. Right or Left Hand: right FIRST 51. Surgery: i had an extra tooth so i had to get that taken out before it grew in. but i also destroyed my elbow in kinder and had to get stitches? idk if that’s a surgery 52. Piercing: we went over my feelings on them 54. Sport: soccer! did flag football with my soccer team too for two years it was fun but all the guy teams beat us bc we weren’t really trying we were just laughing 55. Vacation: uhm my parents take me a lot of places so idr. uhmmm maybe yellowstone? 56. Pair of Trainers: trainers? uhm are those pants? a bra? oh lol i looked it up. they’re tennis shoes. my first pair were probably just nike. 57. Eating: wtf ? is this like the first time i remember eating? << wisehowell agrees with her. 58. Drinking: i’m not old enough to drink legally so 59. I’m About To: eat breakfast? 60. Listening To: uhm whattt i just said i paused the dang song so same oneee but here i’ll rec you a few artists: BANNERS, LIGHTS, and clairity. (those two are supposed to be caps) 61. Waiting For: school to kill me 62. Want: nothing just my friends 63. Get Married: sure 64. Career: that’s confusing YOUR TYPE 65. Hugs or Kisses: hugs 66. Lips or Eyes: eyes altho i have brown eyes and everyone hates brown eyes so idk man. but i’ve never been complimented on my eyes in my life so i feel rude if i say eyes bc as a lame eyed i know how cruel it is to judge by eye color 67. Shorter or Taller: i’m 5ft flat so everyone is taller than me 68. Older or Younger: idc 70. Nice Arms or Nice Stomach: no 71. Sensitive or Loud: idc 72. Hook Up or Relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or Hesitant: neither bro 74. Kissed a Stranger: no 75. Drank Hard Liquor: no I’M FIFTEEN usa has strict drinking laws okay like yea my uh fun friends get high and drunk but i’m a valedictorian i gotta keep my rep 76. Lost Glasses/Contact Lenses: i have glasses but i would never lose em 77. Turned Someone Down: when someone turns up i’ll let you know how it goes << I’M LAUGHING 78. Sex on First Date: again do i need to say my age 79. Broken Someone’s Heart: some guys had crushes on me and my friends told me that they told them like a year later so i guess i did 80. Had Your Heart Broken: no 81. Been Arrested: no, i luv rules 82. Cried When Someone Died: wth 83. Fallen For a Friend: nah my guy friends are too stupid to love DO YOU BELIEVE IN… 84. Yourself: yea 85. Miracles: no god isn’t real 86. Love at First Sight: uh we’ll see 87. Santa Claus: nooo not since i was four 88. Kiss on First Date: why not 89. Angels: no if god isn’t real why are his slaves (i’m kidding, i totally respect the religious community) OTHER… 90. Current Best Friend’s Name: i’ll give the first letters of the four. a, a, c, c. (i’m not kidding for whatever reason most of my close friends have a or c names like i had two old best friends with both a. and another with c) here i’ll tag one. @galaxy-searcher 91. Eye Colour: brown (boooooo) 92. Favourite Movie: idk i don’t pick favs but song of the sea is cute

uhm. i don’t want to tag people bc it’s 92 questions. do it if you want XD

[newagesispage]

                                                                SEPTEMBER       2017

*****David Letterman is back with a new show on Netflix where he will have one depth interview each show. Look for 6 episodes in 2018!! Paul Schaffer could become involved in the musical end.

*****Ronnie Wood battled lung cancer this spring but it looks like he has come out the other side. First Charlie, then Bill and now Ronnie.. So glad that you boys will all be ok!! Rolling Stones off to the next tour!

***** The 50th anniversary reissue of The Stones Their Satanic Majesties Request has yielded us a great video of 2000 light years from home!!

***** Theodora Richards had her first edition of Sirius XM show called ‘Off the Cuff.’  The episode had guest Sean Lennon who helped answer questions and share their favorite music. Sean shared some good insight about Peter Frampton getting a talk box from George Harrison when they mad All Things Must Pass. A Facebook listener disputed that though saying it was Joe Walsh.

*****Can’t wait to see the new film: Wait for your laugh: Rose Marie the longest career in showbiz history.

*****Flavor Flav is suing Chuck D and Public Enemy over royalties.

*****Charles Manson got a new mugshot which they update every few years. He is getting pretty bald.

*****Three men were shot and killed at the Great Lakes Drag way in Union Green Wisconsin.

*****Was the interior department selling off land while the rest of us were watching the events in Virginia?

****** Nipton, California has a population of 20 and is located on the border of Nevada. The American Green company has purchased the town so they can turn it into a cannabis tourist town.

*****Norman Lear and others are boycotting the White House reception given for the Kennedy center honorees. He is against the proposed cuts to arts funding. Trump has now said he won’t attend the honors themselves as to avoid the event becoming political. This is only the 4th time a President will miss the awards. ** The entire President’s committee on the arts and humanities has resigned.

*****Religious leaders marched on Washington on the 28th for the One thousand minister march for justice. They spoke about how the moral corrosion of the country has become more evident. Evangelical Christian leaders that support Trump also showed up and spoke about how they should confront racism.

*****Elon Musk and Amber Heard broke up ?

***** Boy, do I hate point systems. Stores, gas stations, employers love these point systems. They want you to spend more money, work just a bit harder to get to the reward point. Corporate entities should give a gold star to this gimmick for it probably saves them millions. It just sucks for the rest of us who have enough to worry about.

***** Jordan’s lower house of parliament has voted to repeal their ‘marry the rapist’ law.  Activists fought for years to get rid of the law that allowed rapists to get out of jail time after a rape if they married their victim.

***** Let’s all be clear on what is racking up for America with Scott Pruitt running the EPA. Writer Jeff Goodell took a deep dive into the subject. Pruitt approved a toxic pesticide that causes neurological damage to children.  There has been the pull back on the clean water rule that allows exemptions on pollution controls, delaying ozone rules and cutting funding for the agency by a third and scientific research money in half.  When Pruitt took over and made an opening speech he did not even acknowledge public health or the environment, more concerned that “regulators exist to give certainty to those that they regulate.”  The Rachel Carson room where Obama’s Clean Power Plan was signed was purposefully used as the place to bring big coal in to take it down. Back in the day Pruitt sued over the plan and it is still in court. The standards of the set by the agency are not law and can be dismantled.  We should not be surprised by the man putting his political career above our welfare. In the Senate , he had introduced legislation that would require a woman to notify her Father before an abortion. He also voted against an early childhood development bill.

*****Thank you NRDC for taking Trump to task. The administration approved a cross border permit that will send dirty tar sands oil through the heart of America but it is going to federal court.

*****Look for ‘A little help’ with Carol Burnett.

*****Netflix has a new show, Atypical starring Jennifer Jason Leigh!!

*****Will and Grace has been renewed for season 2 before its first season airs.

*****12 nations and the U.S. have rejected Venezuela’s new government-allied legislative super body. Many protests are taking place there. Scary Clown has threatened military retaliation. President Maduro has many times said we want to steal their oil.

*****Many in the White House are getting pranked by hackers and their enemies. After yelling, “Lock her up”, through the campaign, trump and his staff have no problem using their own phones and being so easy to infiltrate, it can be done in an hour.

***** New policy at the Department of Justice? Take on affirmative action at colleges? Investigating white discrimination using the civil rights division? What? These people really hate those that don’t look like them. They are still looking for people to submit resumes.

***** Isn’t it strange that when you see Bill Clinton and Al Gore from the 90’s, you can’t help but notice how they seemed to have switched body types?

*****Illinois Gov. Rauner has removed the statute of limitations for sex crimes and also signed the Police dog bill. The dog bill allows dogs injured in the line of duty to ride in the ambulance.

*****Opening week went gangbusters for Michael Moore and his’ Terms of my surrender’ with Gloria Steinem and Harry Belafonte. Since then he took Olivia Wilde and Mark Ruffalo up to Trump tower to ask him to resign and Bill Maher joined him on stage over the weekend. Moore tweeted: If you support the racists, you are a racist.

***** White nationalists held a rally in Virginia which turned deadly.  A woman was killed when a young Ohio man drove into the crowd that was demonstrating against them. The driver’s mother told reporters that she thought he was at something for Trump. It seems he was. Two state police officers were killed nearby in a helicopter accident as well.  Nationalists showed up for their march armed, in military gear and carrying torches. How brave of them. Trump condemned both sides and called for Americans to come together. His speech was praised by the Nazi website Daily Stormer. The marchers pointed out that the President did not specifically attack them. They call the demonstration in Charlottesville part of their “summer of hate.”  This, of course, comes 50 years after the “summer of love.” They seem to feel that all they have is the color of their skin so they celebrate it. If they are so proud ,as Roy Wood Jr. said, “Why don’t they march in the hood?”**Angela Merkel came out against the neo Nazi’s before our leader, Trump came out with condemnation. After he opened with all his ‘great’ accomplishments , he then quickly went back to original statement which caused an uproar. People started jumping ship on his advisory councils and staff. After boycotts were called for 3M, Pepsi, GE, IBM, Dow, Tylenol and others who seemed late to the party, the council was dismantled. It really did not matter for some CEO’s were now saying they had been picked but had never even assembled themselves in one place yet. It seems to have been a smokescreen for actual work being done. BTW, CAT still wants to be in bed with this President to work policy initiatives. **Many others still stick with him with a nod to his pick of federal judges that will affect us for years. Insiders like John Kelly who seem to have a grip on reality almost have to stay or leave us all in the hands of these money hungry, nature hating selfish racists. But.. Do we want the government run by the military? We are in a very precarious position.** But the rest of us saw him as the racist pig he is long ago. Surely those who voted because they were uninformed have seen their error. If you ever wondered about his real feelings about the KKK et al, doubt no more. He surrounds himself with haters even with Bannon now out. You can’t trust anyone when you are shady with everyone you meet. There will be backstabbing and chaos when you live a hateful life. This is all on scary clown as he has given David Duke and the rest permission to make their move for power. Duke was quoted as saying ,”We are determined to take our country back. We’re going to fulfill the promises of Donald Trump.”  The NY Times stated: ‘white supremacists see President Trumps failure to condemn them as a sign of implicit support, which of course it is. ’Seth Meyers said it best when he told the President that he is their leader whether he knows it or admits it. Ignorance makes them all flourish. The confederacy waged war on the United States so waving their flag makes them look like traitors to this country. When you show up with torches and weapons you are not there for a peaceful march.**The apple does not fall far from the tree. Even though Trump blows this off, his Father Fred was arrested at a KKK rally and his name is on the arrest record to prove it.**Reporters in Virginia saw many police look away from the violence but the Chief of police Al Thomas disagreed.** Hate groups in this country have risen from about 600 to about 900. Central Illinois alone has 4 groups spread thru Morton, Canton and Peoria. Tiki brand has distanced themselves from the march.** The Presidents Bush have let the country know how wrong this intolerance has been as well as Clinton and Obama. I think the Presidents should descend en masse to the White House to give scary clown a good old fashioned talking to.** 5 of the 7 joint chiefs of staff spoke out about the hate.** There were homemade signs that read: Heather Heyer park.** And calm down Antifa.. It is like the 60’s/70’s radicals that blew stuff up and went on the run.. that does not solve anything. We must be forceful and vigilant but peaceful!

*****Internet shamers went nuts on the wrong guy when they mistook a KKK protester for someone else.

*****27 year Simpsons composer, Alf Clausen was fired as the show moves in a different direction.

*****Olivia de Havilland is going to court over the portrayal of her in Feud.

***** Bannon is right back in charge at Breitbart and will fight the fight from there. Sometimes he will support the Pres, sometimes he will call him out. There has been public bantering between them already (real or staged?)and Trump immediately had dinner with Breitbart owner Robert Mercer.

*****Hope Hicks is the new communications director. Hicks is a former model who worked with Ivanka.

*****I saw a tweet that read: Only this country would be fucking stupid enough to start a civil war over statues from the last civil war.

*****The Associated press is no longer going to use the term alt right anymore because it brands and sanitizes the hate groups. They will call them what they are.

*****The Jackson municipal library sit in was memorialized on the Mississippi freedom trail. The sit in came about when college students entered the library to research books that weren’t available in the segregated library. They were arrested.

*****The crazy Trump press conference in NY on the 15th was officially archived by the White House as a report on infrastructure.  

*****Willie Geist gets better all the time.

*****Is Fox going to start working against Trump? Why do they still have advertisers?

*****I always wonder why psychics or those who see beyond this realm don’t get together and try to solve some mysteries. Now, I would watch that show. Take Tyler Henry and Kim Russo and let them concentrate on Hitler’s bunker or Jon Benet or Jack the Ripper.

*****Citizens of the alt right are no different than Manson. They admire Hitler, spew racist rhetoric and wait in the shadows for their chance to get noticed.**

*****Ms. Heyer’s mother says she wants her daughter’s death to be a rallying cry for justice and equality and fairness and compassion.

*****James Murdoch and his wife donated a mil to the anti- defamation league. The recent turn of events, have been great for the Southern poverty law center and the like.

*****The country is talking about the monuments to the confederacy which was a part of the reason for the rally in Virginia. Some have already come down, some have been covered.  The families of Robert E. Lee, Jefferson Davis and Stonewall Jackson all agree that they should come down or be moved. The confederacy was our enemy and they lost. There are not big monuments to the Nazi’s in Germany and we all remember WW II.  Memorials in a cemetery that honor the confederate dead, like the mass grave in Chicago, are different than a statue of say, Nathan Bedford Forrest.  ** Scary clown wants to leave up this ‘art.’ He had no problem bulldozing historic art when it suited his needs.** Many have said that if monuments are important for this country why not celebrate those that really helped us move forward and not those who tried to tear us down. Erect monuments to Pocahontas or slaves that literally built this country. Are the rains in the South trying to wash away all these monuments?

*****Kenya has banned plastic bags.

*****You ever notice that the political left are called sore losers every time there is a disagreement or a complaint?

***** Alabama has passed a law that would allow no one to take down monuments that have been there for 40 years or longer. They saw this coming. Birmingham Mayor, William Bell, covered up the statues and is being sued.  He contends that Birmingham was founded after the civil war so there is no reason for them to be there.

*****The weekend after Charlottesville, I noticed the WH was not really represented on the Sunday shows. Well, Jerry Falwell Jr. was sent over to This Week but it is just more proof that the evangelical leaders will side with Trump for their Federal judge appointments no matter how racist it gets. The religious right puts their thumb on the scale of the elections and gives the President some God cred.  The thinking seems to be, whenever in doubt, bring God into it. Many find it hard to argue God. The CEO’s have more to lose so some of these have been jumping ship but they do love the way the new administration wants to skirt the corporate laws  so they and the Trump family can all benefit financially. Falwell said he loves Trump because he is not PC.  This shows a basic different in a Trump supporter and the rest of us. I like somebody who shoots from the hip as much as anybody but when their instinct is racist, count me out. I am not afraid of people who are different from me. I am not threatened and I rejoice in our differences and similarities. Didn’t Jesus love and accept everyone? If they wonder why faith is crumbling in this world, perhaps the religious leaders should look inside themselves.

*****A grant put in place by Obama to look into the problem of white supremacy has been rescinded.** As Christian Picciolini stated: The grant, the voter ID laws, the federal court appeals judges who are right wing extremists. These things add up and you can only reach one conclusion.

*****Mayweather wins!

*****The Pres did one thing he said he would, Iran and Israel both condemned Trump’s comments. He got the mid -east to agree on something.** There is much squawking from scary clown about military action though when it comes to Afghanistan, Venezuala and North Korea.

*****We must be careful of German owned Monsanto that imposes hard and fast rules on our agriculture.  A 1980 U.S. supreme court decision extended patent law to cover ‘a live human- made microorganism’ so farmers can no longer save seeds after harvest. This has been going on for years but could come to a breaking point. Much like OPEC blackmailed us in the 70’s with oil, the same could happen with our food supply, if say, a country that wanted to really fuck with us bought Monsanto. The company already spend millions spying on and prosecuting farmers. Thank Goodness Max Brooks is keeping an eye on things.

*****It is just about fall and Oscar season on the way and the good movies are coming. Look for Emma Stone and Steve Carell to play Billie Jean King and Bobby Riggs in Battle if the sexes.**Angelina Jolie finally tells the story she could never forget from Cambodia with ‘First they killed my Father.’**Liam Neeson plays Mark Felt and Redford and Fonda star together again in ’Our souls at night.’ **Judi Dench is back as Queen Victoria for which she should have won an Oscar the first time.**Clooney directs Suburbicon with Matt Damon and Julianne Moore. She also stars in Wonderstruck.**Good bye Christopher Robin will tell us the tale of Pooh and the love Milne’s real family.** Idris Elba and Kate Winslet star in The mountain between us about the two lost after a plane crash.** The man who invented Christmas bout Dickens stars Dan Stevens and Christopher Plummer.**Richard Linklater’s Last flag flying about Vietnam vets stars Steve Carell, Bryan Cranston and Laurence Fishburne.** The current war about Thomas Edison will pit Benedict Cumberbatch against Michael Shannon. **And Nick Cage alert- Vengeance: A love story.

*****July 2017 was the 2nd hottest month on record.

***** After the Trump rant, Orrin Hatch tweeted “We should call evil by its name. My brother didn’t give his life fighting Hitler for Nazi ideas to go unchallenged here at home.”

*****Word is going around that Scary clown 45 wants to allow Doctor’s to be able to discriminate against the Trans community.

*****I will now mention my friend Bryan for I told him I would. I wanted to write something newsworthy about him but he gave me no ideas. I will wish him luck on his future podcast.

*****Mueller, with his staff of 20 and another 16 attorneys has impaneled a grand jury for possible indictments.** A no knock warrant was used on Paul Manafort’s home.

*****Fox news line of the month: Trump anxiety boosts professional cuddliest.** They also were droning on about the Dem’s desperate move of dragging out Obama and Hilary.

*****Sen. Bob Corker wondered aloud if Trump is stable.

*****Amy Poehler is creating an animated series.

*****Word id that Obama, like Bush before him, had the Department of energy prepare a 75 day briefing to explain and bring current the new administration. Nobody showed up until weeks later with instructions to apparently disregard all that and just weed out the Obama and climate change people.  The DOJ job is supposed to be scientists keeping track of nuclear war heads , clean up messes and monitor them in other countries.  They protect the power grid and fund research for alternative energy. I guess there will be no more of that. Of course, Rick Perry is the new head of the department, his predecessor was a nuclear scientist.

*****Catch the Struts with their new ‘One Night Only.’

*****Rob Reiner tweet: We’re running out of places to put nails in Trump’s coffin. Unless you’re a racist anti- Semite, you have no reason to support him.

*****Republican from Wisconsin, Ron Johnson wondered if McCain’s brain tumor factored into his ‘no’ vote on the ACA. Trump has since said as much as he conveyed thoughts about McCain’s competency.** People at the Arizona rally were yelling about McCain being a traitor.

*****The task force on crime reduction and public safety has given Jeff sessions no new policy recommendations for his anti- marijuana views. His threats of a federal crackdown may come to nothing.

*****230, 000 workers will soon be replaced by computers. Studies show that in 20 years, 47% of our jobs will be threatened by automation. Will we have to get to a system of a guaranteed minimum income or will jobs come along that we have not even thought of yet? Many of today’s jobs were not thought of a hundred years ago.

*****Hooray for SNL on Thursdays hitting it out of the park with Hader and Fey. We sure do need them right now. Che and Jost almost seem more confident on their own with jus Weekend Update.** BTW, I have to wonder why Lorne does not see fit to bring back some of the original things that made SNL unique?? In the internet world we live in it would seem perfect for home movies again. I realize people seem more savvy with their own stuff now and may be more argumentative in how they are presented but it could be done. Also.. Why do we have to have slick, top shelf mainstream hosts and music all the time?? In the beginning there were many celebs on their way up and down that made some of the best episodes.  And some have been on often and some very NY identified celebs only once. Can we have some B movie actors? Some activists? Some previously huge tv stars? And how about just some damn good talent that the whole world doesn’t talk about everyday. I vote for Dorian Harewood, Bill Withers, Rickie Lee Jones, The Struts, Jennifer Jason Leigh , Alan Alda, Buddy Guy and Elvis and Osgood Perkins. Take a chance!!

*****Scary clown seems to have listened to his Generals about Afghanistan. Of course it is hard to tell since he gave no real details. He wants India to play a bigger role. Pakistan has been put on notice. But it seems that his first instinct to ‘pull out’ is gone and Breitbart and friends hate that. A hasty withdrawal would create a vacuum for Isis and the Taliban. Trump says we will no longer build democracies overseas. We are not sure how many troops may join the 8500 already there .The mercenaries are not taking over yet. Gen. Maddis seemed to insist that Trump own this so they don’t get all the fall out. It was VP Pence that cut his trip short to talk to Afghanistan’s president.** McCain called it a big step in the right direction. Bannon called it a flip flop.

*****A Breitbart staffer asked for Paul Ryan’s help with Trump’s impeachment. ** A hacker seems to have gotten to the editor in chief at Breitbart. He posed as Bannon in an e mail and started a conversation, which led to the Editor saying Breitbart would do the dirty work and drive Ivanka and Jared out by the end of the year.

*****The Amityville house recently sold to a new owner.

*****Hi Mom!!!!!!

*****Kushner and Conan (not together) are heading to Israel for peace talks to try to change the conversation.

*****Interior secretary Ryan Zinke is now being investigated by the office of the inspector general. He is accused of threatening resources for Alaska when he tried to get Murkowski to change her for the ACA.

*****Check out Ian Schrager’s new book: Studio 54.

*****The secret service is going broke trying to take care of the Trump Klan. We do want them safe but it would be nice if he could think of the rest of us. Since he usually goes to his public holding, it is a much bigger and more expensive challenge. He made a huge deal out of how he was donating his salary so perhaps he should let the secret service use it. What DID that get used for? The agency is looking to congress for more funds. Coming up: The UN general assembly meeting in NY, that should really rack up the overtime.

*****Now we find out that Trump’s company was trying to develop a Trump tower in Moscow. The deal fell apart in January 2016. He failed to disclose this. This info was recently discovered in some e mails. Chris Hayes observed: ‘Incredible irony that not a single Clinton/Podesta e mail was as incriminating as the 2 Trump campaign e mails we’ve seen.** There was total denial from the campaign about a key player , Felix Sater. He has cards that read Felix Sater: Senior advisor to Donald Trump.

*****ICE has asked permission to destroy records describing sexual assault and deaths while immigrants were in agents custody.

*****Jim Bakker, who is still out there sounding crazy as Hell, tells us that Christians will begin a second civil war in the U.S. if Trump is impeached. Trump’s spiritual leader Ms. White has appeared on Bakker’s show and told us that the hand of God put Trump in power so being against him is like being against God. So, when Obama or Bill Clinton were President why did they fight so hard against them f God pit them there??

*****What would this country have been like if Native Americans would have been able to hold on to even most of their land? How would the open exchange of their traditions and ours have affected all of us? What if people from other countries had not been dragged here to forcibly build this country and instead might have come to minge in peace? Imagine!

*****Scary Clown was going to pardon Sheriff Joe Arpio then the WH said he wouldn’t but at his campaign rally he said he would but didn’t. The two became close over the birther issue. Arpio seems to have spent big money researching the issue.  A correspondent watched the Sheriff get quite upset when Trump did not call him on his birthday. The Arizona Sheriff stood for dehumanization and an estimated 160 people died in what Arpio called concentration camps. He put criminals in the desert, in a tent city and made them wear pink underwear.  He was found in criminal contempt of court when he defied a court order not to enforce the travel ban. His racial profiling is legendary.  Trump and or his staff seemed to wait for the opportune time to actually pardon the man. Hurricane Harvey was bearing down on Texas and without following the guidelines , Trump gave his friend and supporter the pardon. But it isn’t quite as it seems. Trump did not want to bury the story in the Texas news, he claims that he wanted to make it public then because everybody would be watching the news about the catastrophe and his announcement would get good ratings. Technically, accepting a pardon is an admission of guilt and can be used in civil suits. But you should seriously look up the long list of garbage this guy did.  There has been $142 million spent on legal fees, settlements and compliance costs because of him that almost bankrupt his county.** As far as the rally goes, the crowd waited so long they were tired and started to leave early. Bottled water was confiscated at the door and some were becoming dehydrated. Many mentioned a man that was standing behind Trump who calls himself Michael the Black man, a radical fringe activist. The man has been a Trump follower for some time. He is a former member of the Yahwen Ben Yahwen cult, known as a violent black supremacist religious cult. He reformed himself and is known in some circles as the poor man’s Alex Jones and abhors homosexuality. Michael AKA Maurice Woodside calls Oprah ‘the devil’ and calls himself an anti-democrat. He has been acquitted of 2 murders, racketeering, conspiracy and firebombing. ** The Pres also chose the category 4 hurricane as a good time to go thru with his tweet threat and ban the Trans community from the military. He is basically undoing LBJ’s entire civil rights package.  The ACLU is suing over the military ban on behalf of 6 individuals who are currently serving. Defense secretary Mattis has established a panel to review the Transgender troops and has frozen the ban. There sure seems to be a lot of extra work going on for nothing, we have a huge crisis on our hands. Why do we have to put up with this shit?? **Gorka , one of Bannon’s men who was not really part of the inner circle is out!** Secretary of state was asked about Trump’s values and he responded, “The resident speaks for himself.” His values aren’t those of most of America and everybody knows it.

*****Another word on Hurricane Harvey: The pictures are shocking ,the people helping are so wonderful and I hope they all find some peace and safety. Ted Cruz voted against aid for hurricane Sandy but is now asking for assistance for Harvey.  ** Joel Osteen is coming under scrutiny for telling Texas that his Lakewood church in Houston is inaccessible. The religious leader who is worth an estimated 56 mil announced he would let Hurricane victims in when the other centers reach their capacity. There were already twice as many people as the convention center allows. The reporter in front of the church showed there was some flooding but people could certainly get there! Lakewood can house 3 times the capacity of the current center taking in victims. Once the Toyota center also opened, the church was open but Osteen claims the doors were never closed. Things like this show the true colors of humans. After all the division, these things happen and show us how alike we are. Were any of the victims KKK members and were they helped by someone whose skin was a different color? Were any of the victims immigrants and were they helped by a white nationalist? Will we ever know?  ** Mattress Mac who owns Gallery Furniture in Houston opened his doors immediately and let the displaced souls sleep on the mattresses. Gayle King gave Osteen some shade over that one. **And in a silly comment, who is this CBS reporter DeMarco Morgan who has been on the scene? This guy is really good and should be on our screens a lot more often. He is hot too!** Scary Clown 45 and Melania went to see the devastation first hand and he could not help himself.  He yells, “What a crowd, what a turnout” Is he fucking kidding?** The rainfall has now hit a record.** Many donations are coming in. Rachel Ray gave her millions to animal causes.

*****Saw this ad for something called revitive medic and they proudly said ‘FDA cleared.’ That did not really sound like a big endorsement to me.

*****We have sent $200 mil to the Ukraine to help fight Russia.

*****Trump blocked Stephen King from his twitter.

*****Chuck E. Cheese is disbanding the band my son used to love.

*****17 charities have dropped out of their functions at Mar A Lago What the hell took them so long? Why were they there in the first place?  If his big racist mouth starts to cost him money, Trump may finally start to think before he speaks. I mean he will eventually benefit from all the money being made for the Trump organization because he did not divest. He will not follow the same rules as other leaders of this country.

*****A scuffle broke out on the baseball field between Detroit and NY.  The angst in this country is so high there is even fighting in baseball.

*****What is going on with the Naval accidents?  A report states that the high pace of operations leaves little time for proper inspections and maintenance.  The military is looking into how over taxed they are and zero in on human error, lack of training or funding. It is probably all three.

*****Ducktales is back!

*****Will the President shut down the Federal government to get his stupid wall that Mexico was supposed to pay for? Will he keep screaming at other Republicans like he did the other day on the phone to McConnell? ** Before Houston, the Republicans were looking at cutting $876 mil from disaster accounts to help pay for the Wall.. What will happen now??

*****Wirtgen American Inc. is accusing CAT of patent infringement on products used to mill asphalt and concrete pavement. The  U.S.  International trade commission is looking into it.

*****India outlawed ‘instant’ divorce.

*****I notice that there are reruns of Unsolved Mysteries. Why don’t they go back to the NBC original Unsolved Mysteries with Robert Stack and update all those old mysteries… there should be years of material to keep them busy. After all everything old is new again.

*****Pete Davidson looked great at the MTV VMA’s. He also appeared on Weekend Update last week, asking” Is Pete still on the show?” Oh yes, we know you are there baby!

*****Hackers have released nude pics of Tiger Woods.

*****DAYS ALERT: Bryan Datillo who plays Lucas was recently on one of NBC’s ‘the more you know.’** I thought that Anne Milbaur would swoop in on Lucas or Bonnie would die and a drunken Lucas would be blamed. Lucas and Brady getting hammered was a sad but funny scene. Nicole and Angelica sure can wreak havoc.** A great line from Haddie as Marlena,” I’m not a Dr. I just play one in Salem.”

*****R.I.P Glen Campbell, Haruo Nakajima, D. L. Menard, Barbara Cook,  Heather Heyer, Berke Bates, H. Jay Cullen, Wayne Lotter, Sonny Burgess, Rafael Ramirez, Thomas Meehan, Mireille Darc, Bernard Pomerance,  the Hurricane/tropical storm Harvey victims, Tobe Hooper, Dick Gregory and Jerry Lewis.