#my mom showed me a sweater she liked from a 20 year old tv show. i got a jury summons. only one of those is good!

[journeyman-tier-fibercraft]

Shout out to knittingfool dot com for having a program to just input gauge out come the right numbers. A negative shout out (call out?) to me for refusing to knit sweaters in the round so I have to rework the whole pattern. I would’ve had to rework a lot of it anyway, the neckline instructions are.... Confusing. I’m still not quite sure what I have down is correct but the math checks out. And I see no reason not to add short rows to the back of the neck.

This was absolutely worth not having to try to track down a pattern with a matching gauge or trying to do all the math on my own tho, we’ll see if it works out for me.

[butwhyduh]

Fit to be Tied

Jason Todd x reader

Warning: Christmas? And the f word.

Christmas series 2

Jason didn’t pay much attention to holidays. Nope. That was for the living. He didn’t have much of need for it. But he did know that Christmas was quiet and New Years was busy for patrol. He guessed everyone ate Christmas dinner and and then got bored of playing nice. Or maybe that just wanted to start the new year with a big ass bang. Who knows?

Even when he was a kid, he didn’t celebrate the holidays. Too poor, mom too lost in drugs, and dad? Well fuck him. He was a piece of shit when he was around.

Jason kicked a beer can out of his way into the pile of trash on the sidewalk. They didn’t get the trash again this week it looked like. Daddy Bruce could play bat but couldn’t throw his money around enough to keep trash from piling on the street.

It was fine. He had more important things to do anyways. He had to buy a Christmas present. He didn’t care for the holidays but the sweet girl he had at home was a doll and fuck, if she didn’t deserve something. So Jason went down to the local pawn shop. Usually not a problem but it was 2 AM. Not exactly prime business hours.

So yes, Red Hood was breaking into a pawn shop to get a bracelet. He was leaving cash, $20 over the cost too. It was something you had seen earlier in the week and had admired. Gems of some kind shaped to look like a butterfly. You’d taken a minute longer to stare at it.

He left as quick as he came. And it wasn’t long until he was opening the window of your apartment dressed in street clothes. You were asleep. Jason had used the excuse of patrol to get out. But in the early morning hours of Christmas, he wanted to wake you.

“Princess,” he said gently. You moved a little before opening your eyes. You smiled up at him. Fuck, he didn’t deserve the way you looked at him. Your eyes looked so innocent and sweet. You never looked at him like he scared you.

“Jaybird, what’s going on?”

“I got you something for Christmas and it’s technically Christmas..” he said pulling out the box. You sat up, curious.

“It’s Christmas Eve. You got me something? I didn’t think we were- I didn’t get anything. I couldn’t-“ you said turning red. Money was too tight to consider it. The fact that the heat was still on this late in the month was a Christmas miracle.

“No no. It’s fine. Just being here is enough for me. I’ve never really celebrated Christmas anyways,” Jason said pushing the box in your hand. You held the box before kissing him.

You opened the box to see the bracelet you had been looking at the pawn shop. You smiled and stared at the pretty little butterfly. Jason watched you carefully for a reaction. He’d never admit it but he was more nervous now than fighting on the street.

“You saw me looking at it. I didn’t think you’d notice,” you murmured softly as you picked it up. Jason took it and wrapped it around your wrist. He clasped it on and you looked at it, moving your wrist in the light.

“Thank you. It’s beautiful,” you said quietly looking at it. You had a little grin on your face. Jason smiled. That’s the look he wanted. That little bit of happiness that you showed when you were really pleased. He intertwined his fingers in yours.

“Princess, you’re so cold,” Jason said with a frown. He could feel it colder outside but now that he was getting used to the temperature, it wasn’t warm as it should be.

“The heater was acting up again so I turned it down. The blankets are plenty warm,” you said and his heart all but broke. There was no way he was going to let you be cold all winter because the landlord wouldn’t fix things. He might pay this guy a visit. You sensed his anger.

“It’s okay, Jay. Come lay with me and get warm,” you said taking his hands. He let you pull him into bed. He kicked off his pants and shoes and laid on his side. You curled into him as a little spoon. His long big frame all but engulfed you. It always felt to protective. If he was holding you, he knew you were safe. Jason ran his fingers along your bracelet soft as his rough fingers could.

“You’re so good to me,” you said softly and his heart clenched again. Fuck, if you knew all the bad he did. His messed up past. He thought you would have run away when you first learned he was Red Hood but no, you had been kind.

“Naw, Princess you deserve more then this shitty place,” he said, and for the first time, he felt a little bad about giving all of his trust fund to the soup kitchen he would visit as a kid. A little would have been nice to get a better place for you. But he had been making a ton crushing the drug trade at the time and didn’t have a girl back home when he did it. He couldn’t be as reckless now.

You turned in his arms to look in his blue eyes. He has such an intense look on his face that you frowned. “Jaybird, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he said pulling his face back to normal. “Just thinking. I wanna move you to a better place, a safer place than this,” he said running his thumb across your cheeks. You grasped his wrist and leaned into his touch. Jason would sometimes get like that. Thinking you deserved better. And you humored him even though you wouldn’t even know what to do with wealth.

“We’re moving. Soon. I’m promising now,” he said thinking about the painful conversation he was going to have with Bruce. His adoptive father he hadn’t even told you about. Bruce would do just about anything Jason asked. Probably the guilt of letting him die.

“But Jay, we’d miss the water that went from boiling to freezing at random. And I’m not sure if I can sleep without Mr and Mrs Jancowski having sex every Tuesday at 2 AM,” you said with a smile. He kissed you to shut you up. You were joking but each one felt like a little knife in his guilt. You pulled him over you and the thought of money troubles faded from your mind.

———————————————

Jason woke before you and watched you sleep. You laid on his chest with your hand in his hair and your soft breath on his throat. The bracelet was still on your wrist. You looked so peaceful, trusted him while you slept. Jason carefully grabbed his phone and texted Alfred. He’d also have to tell you about his adoptive family. His very famous adoptive family.

He threaded his fingers in your hand that was flung across his waist. You began to stir. Jason moved hair from your face and you blinked to see his pale blue eyes watching you.

“Morning, Princess,” he said with a rough morning voice. You smiled.

“Morning, Jaybird.”

“I’ve got something to tell you,” he started. “I want you to meet my family tonight.”

“Tonight? Your family? I thought your parents...” you trailed off.

“I was adopted. I never told you because I don’t have the best relationship with them. But I think it’s time for you to meet them. I’ve got to tell you something else,” he said and you could hear his heart beat quicker as you laid on him.

“My adoptive father is Bruce Wayne.”

Silence.

“You’re shitting me.”

“Nope. And tonight I’m taking you to meet him. And my adoptive siblings.”

“You aren’t joking,” you said sitting up. Jason sat up too.

“I’m not. I’m kinda the... black sheep of the family. He adopted me when I was 12. I was trying to boost the wheels from the b- Bentley he was driving,” Jason corrected. It was one thing to tell you he was Red Hood. He couldn’t say Bruce Wayne was Batman.

“Wow. I- wow. Okay. That’s a lot to take in. Also on brand to be honest,” you said and he smiled and shrugged.

“Wait. What the fuck do you wear to the freaking Wayne manor for Christmas Eve?” You said a little panicky.

“Whatever you want. It’s just family,” he said with a sideways smile.

“Oh no. I can’t go to freaking Wayne Manor in a Kmart sweater,” you said quickly.

“You can wear,” he said hopping out of bed. He dug way in the back of his closet for a pretty red sweater that was slightly oversized. “This. Should fit fine. Pretty expensive too.”

“Where the hell did you get that?”

“I’ve had it for year and it definitely doesn’t fit now,” Jason said with a laugh. “Try it on.”

—————————————

The weather sucked. Freaking sleet that threatened everything it touched. You were grateful it wasn’t a night of Jason patrolling. This meant taking your car instead of Jason’s motorcycle. Your car was at least 15 years old and you called it Frankenstein because of all the repairs done over the years.

The radio skipped as Jason drove over a speed bump by Wayne Manor and you burst out laughing. Jason looked at you from the side.

“It’s not that funny,” he said. “What’s up?”

“My car is trash, I’m wearing your old sweater, and we’re late. If you weren’t the black sheep before, bringing me home, you will be now,” you said. He grabbed your hand and parked in front of a random house.

“I’ve been the black sheep since I was a kid and you aren’t going to change any thing for the worse. Trust me. In fact they’ll probably think you’re too good for me,” Jason said with a dry chuckle. “So don’t worry about anything. Except making room for pudding. I know it sounds weird,” he said starting to drive again. “But it’s the best part of Christmas.”

Wayne Manor was huge. You knew that. You’d even seen it on tv. But to see it in front of you was honestly terrifying, especially in the nasty weather. You almost hoped Jason was playing some weird elaborate joke and was going to drive on by but he knew the passcode to the gate. He drove in the covered drop off spot by the front door and parked. You both quickly ran in the building.

The front entry was breathtaking. A gigantic Christmas tree and a full staircase decked out in garland like a Hallmark movie. It was like a magazine. In fact, it was in the Christmas episode of Gotham Life the year before.

You gripped Jason’s hand tightly as you walked down the hall. Your shoes sounded unnaturally loud and you had the urge to quiet them like it was a library. Jason pulled you to the doorway of a dinning room full of people settling to eat. Jadon cleared his throat.

“Master Jason! You made it,” Alfred said excitedly. “I recieved your message but it’s been many years. Sit. Sit.”

“Glad you could come,” Jason’s brother Dick said with a grin. He looked at you in curious excitement. You looked down at some kind of mushroom soup placed in front of you. Everyone else was dressed so nicely and ate so perfectly. It was intimidating.

“Yeah, it’s Christmas,” Jason said shrugging. He gave Dick a look that said don’t ask. It didn’t take much for Dick to drop it because he seemed incredibly distracted. You spent most of the meal trying to keep up on conversations you clearly didn’t understand while trying food you’ve never seen before. You could barely remember everyone you were introduced to. One of Jason’s sister(s?) gave you a big hug along with everyone else when she arrived. You couldn’t tell anyone what was even said after the meal. Or so you thought.

Until right across from you, Dick proposes to his girlfriend. He stuttered around before finally asking. “Will you marry me? Oh god, I have a ring,” he said producing one. Everyone watched as she stared in the box.

“Will I marry you?” She asked faintly and you worried she’d say no. How terrible would it be??

“Please say something,” he pleaded and you could tell the man was practically in pain before she said yes. They kissed, the family applauded, and champagne was served.

Jason watched you from the corner of his eyes. How did you react to this? What did you think? You didn’t look jealous or anything. It made Jason think of marriage. He hadn’t before. He’d thought about moving into something more permanent but marriage. He’d never thought about marriage as his future, ever. Of course when you die at 16 and come back with a vengeance, love is low on the priority list.

“Jaybird, you there,” you asked slightly tapping his shoulder. He blinked and looked at you.

“Yeah, I’m here. Just in my head,” he said and you nodded. He’d do that sometimes.

“The party is moving to the parlor,” you said quietly in a proper rich Gothamite voice and Jason huffed before covering his smiling mouth with a nose rub. The rest of the group was moving ahead of you. Dick and his new fiancé were retiring for the night.

“I’m never going to hear the end of it, am I?”

“I’m so sorry, dearest. I can’t understand you with a silver spoon in your mouth,” you laughed. Jason rolled his eyes before guiding your shoulders towards the door. You heard a soft laugh behind you and you turned to see Tim’s girlfriend smiling.

“Sorry to interrupt but I’ve got to use that on Tim,” she said grabbing her coat and walking out.

After making sure you were cool with hanging with Tim’s girlfriend and their adoptive sister Cass, Jason and Tim started a very competitive game of pool. You couldn’t help but look at things that cost more than you’ve ever even seen. The chess set Damian and his girlfriend were playing with probably cost more than your car.

But it was Christmas and you tried to push your insecurities aside. It was a fun evening. A glass of wine you kept sipping on helped as well.

After a while Bruce announced that the roads were too bad and that no one was leaving. Jason clenched his jaw for a second before looking at you and relaxing. He didn’t want to stay but he wasn’t risking your health in any way. Instead he focused on the game.

“So if I win,” Jason said a full hour later. By this time, Damian’s girlfriend had fallen asleep on his shoulder. Your eyes felt a little heavy as well. “I get the penthouse.”

“Sure Jay. That’s Bruce’s. But I’m willing to gamble it,” Tim said throwing his hands up at the ridiculousness.

“I accept terms,” Bruce said. Both boys looked at him surprised. “Whoever wins gets the penthouse.”

You turned quickly to watch the game. Okay, is that a normal thing for them? To bet property. The look on everyone’s face said that no it wasn’t normal.

Jason was excellent at pool. It was a common for you both to go down to the pool hall and play some games. Jason would occasionally make some money playing and he did often as a kid. It was also a way to waste time when your mom was throwing beers back like a fish, like Jason’s mother did. Tim didn’t stand a chance. He wasn’t as good and looked almost like he was in pain occasionally. But maybe it wasn’t a real competition? Maybe Bruce was trying to give Jason something he’d always want to but didn’t know how. Jason easily won the game.

“So the penthouse is mine?” Jason asked. Bruce nodded and shrugged. Tim softly coughed in his hand. Your heart raced. They couldn’t be serious.

“If you’ll live in it,” Bruce said. Damian was carefully carrying his girlfriend upstairs.

“Deal,” Jason says quickly.

“Deal,” Bruce said looking quiet pleased. Was this his plan all along?

“I guess, deal?” Tim said confused. “Though you should owe me. You’re the one that got me shot.”

Your brain broke. He was shot? And it was Jason’s fault?

“What?! You got him shot?” Tim’s girlfriend asked loudly. Tim blanched.

“Not my fault.”

“Literally your fault,” Tim countered.

“What did you do?” You asked looking at him suspiciously. He offered you a sheepish smile.

“I might have said ‘what are you gonna do, shoot us?’ I meant me. Not Tim! He also has a bulletproof suit,” Jason said. Tim must be a vigilante too. You glared at Jason.

“That’s not in the report,” Bruce said with his eyes narrowing.

“Good night everybody. Merry Christmas,” Jason said pulling you from the room and up to his childhood room.

“You’re in so much trouble,” you said and he grinned.

“I’ll deal with it tomorrow. How do you feel about a penthouse? Better than our current place hu?” Jason said pulling you close. You felt dizzy at the idea.

“Seriously? We can’t afford it,” you said trying to stay grounded. It was too good to be true. Things like that didn’t happen to people like you.

“I think I know a guy who can keep the lights on,” he joked and you gave him a serious look. “Don’t worry about it. Just enjoy the idea of constant hot water. Lights never going off,” Jason said pushing you towards the bed. “No one can hear me make you scream.”

“Tempting. Very tempting,” you said and of fucking course it was. A safe beautiful clean penthouse over your trashy scary apartment wasn’t even a contest. Jason pushed you on the bed and hovered over you.

“What are you doing,” you asked flushed but still encouraging him. It was still his dad’s house and he was getting handsy.

“Trying to have sex with my girlfriend on my old bed like every guy ever has dreamed of,” Jason said. He nipped at your throat. You gasped.

“Got to be quiet, Princess,” he whispered and you pulled him down to kiss more.

————————————

The next morning you woke to an empty bed. You fixed your hair as best you could and threw on Jason’s sweatshirt before going downstairs. You caught a glimpse of the kitchen as Bruce slowly slid a set of keys Jason’s way before taking a long drink from his coffee. “I’m glad you made home for Christmas this year, Jason.” The penthouse.

“Morning,” Bruce said to you nodding before leaving the room. Jason was alone in the kitchen but you could hear others in the breakfast nook a door over.

“Keys,” Jason said showing you. “And no lecture.”

You gave him a hug and looked at the shiny metal keys. It would be a while before you could handle the idea of a freaking penthouse being yours. “But you should get something for Tim. You did get him shot.��

“Let him shoot me?”

“Jason, no.”

[marvels-writings]

When the World is Against Us (4)

Spirits Lifted

Wanda Maximoff (Scarlet Witch) Masterlist

Series Masterlist

| Preview | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | 

A/N: this one was effort, part 5 is gonna be intense

Everyone was keeping you in the dark on what was happening. All you knew was that the time was divided on the accords, Wanda was at the compound with Vision protecting her. Steve and someone named Sam was currently trying to track down someone named ‘Winter Soldier’. 

You looked at the picture at the bottom of the news report, it was a man who looked like he was in his mid 30’s, he had prominent brown stubble, bright blue-green eyes, shoulder-length brown hair, and a muscular build, his left arm was completely metal with a small red star at the top.

“Mom, what’s happening?” You asked, sitting on the couch and watching the News when you saw Steve chasing someone with a metal arm on a bike. You had changed out of your formal clothes into casual black jeggings, a white t-shirt, and your denim jacket was thrown on the bed.

“Oh my god.” She muttered you frowned when she switched off the TV, she was more panicked than you’ve ever seen her.

“We need to get to Tony.” She stated, picking up her jacket and throwing you yours, heading out of the hotel room hurriedly.

Natasha gave you a small explanation of what was happening, the Winter Soldier was one of Steve’s friends. He was almost a hundred years old, he had been experimented on by HYDRA and he had been turned into a weapon, the Vienna bombing was being blamed on him.

Once you and Natasha got there, she handed you off to Tony who was extremely stressed. He wore a Tom Ford three-piece steel suit with a brick red tie. He paced in a small glass room nervously, there were screens at the front of the room to monitor everything inside the building. 

“Tony, what’s going on?” You asked, he looked at you and sighed, sitting down on one of the chairs. You glanced at your mom talking to Steve on her way to you.

“Bucky, the guy with the metal arm over there,” Tony gestured to one of the monitors which showed a muscular man with long brown hair and green eyes strapped down into a chair, his left arm was metal.

“We think he bombed Vienna, but Steve doesn’t think so. If Steve doesn’t sign these accords, it’s gonna be a catastrophe.” He threw the accords down on the table and started pacing again.

You nodded and lounged back in one of the chairs, Steve came in and nodded at you. Natasha gestured for you to come with her, you stayed with her as she watched the interrogation. It was some psychologist evaluation, but something seemed off. 

“Mom, something is off about that guy.” You whispered to her, referring to the psychologist. 

Natasha turned to look at you and nodded, clenching her jaw and crossing her arms. The psychologist asked a few questions, it almost sounded like he was making small talk when the power suddenly cut out. Ross started yelling at people to get the surveillance back up. Steve darted out with Sam right behind him.

“Stay here,” Your mom instructed, you raised an eyebrow.

“Oh come on, I’ve been trained by the Avengers for christ’s sake, I can help.” You argued, your mom pursed her lips but you kept your eyebrow raised until she gave in.

Both of you ran after Tony who didn’t have a suit, only a glove. He shot Bucky with some sort of sonic ray which stunned him, your mom ran after him, using her signature move to try to drag him down, he picked her up instead, trying to slam him upside the head but he pinned her down on the table, holding her neck in a chokehold.

You pushed past Tony, running in and landing a perfect kick on the side of his face, blowing him back a few feet. Your mom choked on air, you helped her off the table and supported some of her weight when you noticed Bucky heading back towards you.

“Shit,” You muttered, pushing your mom to the side so the blow went to the side of your ribs instead.

His metal fist hit the side of your ribs with more force than you’d expected, the force of the punch blew you to the other side of the room, you sat there for a second, gasping. You lifted your shirt and checked your ribs in case they were broken, your ribs were now a bright red color, it was going to bruise.

You looked up to find your mom attacking Bucky furiously for hurting you. You saw the fury in her eyes when she glanced at you before Bucky threw her aside, heading angrily out the door when Tony tried to stop him. Bucky tried to shoot him, but the shot was blocked and he threw Tony at the table next to you.

He took down two Avengers as if it was nothing. You ran over to your mom, hand wandering over the bruise in your ribs as you went over to her, worry clouding your e/c eyes. The prince of Wakanda, T’challa attacked Bucky next, he seemed to be the only one capable of holding him off. 

“Mom, are you okay?” You gasped, kneeling in front of her, her whole neck was red and she was still coughing, hand wandering over her back where Bucky had thrown her. 

“Never better, you?” Natasha answered, smirking weakly at you. You rolled your eyes and bent down to help her up and out of there, making a mental note to call Wanda about this later. You had a feeling your mom was going to send you back to the compound. 

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

Wanda’s POV

“Hey Wan,” Your voice greeted her softly over the phone, her heart leaping at the sound. She opened her mouth to ask if you were okay but you cut her off.

“Yeah I’m okay, just a little bruise.” You said, Wanda could hear the rustling of your shirt when you said that.

“What happened?” Wanda asked, nervously fidgeting with the sleeve of your hoodie before resting on her lap.

“I think you saw all about it on the news.” You commented, Wanda laughed lightly, relieved to hear that you were okay.

“So have you been doing anything or just moping around?” You asked, your tone was playful.

“Training a little, mostly watching movies and eating,” Wanda answered, a strange smell filling her senses.

“Moping around.” You answered your question, causing both of you to laugh before discussing what was happening.

You told Wanda that Steve was on the run with Bucky and Sam, he wasn’t planning to sign the accords anytime soon. Natasha and Tony were waiting for some sign of Sharon or the other three, but nothing so far. 

“I think Vis is making paprikash,” Wanda commented once you’d finished talking about what had happened. 

“Android made paprikash, tell me how that goes, I think I can smell it from out here.” You commented, Wanda frowned. 

“You mean you can smell it from Vienna?” Wanda asked, denying any hope that you could be nearby.

“Nope, would you mind opening the front door?” You asked, Wanda, grinned and leaped to her feet, practically running to the front door when Vision appeared in front of her. 

“Vis, what are you doing?” Wanda demanded, startled that he had appeared in front of her. 

“There’s someone at the front door,” he stated, looking down at Wanda.

“Which is why I’m opening it, it’s y/n,” Wanda said excitedly, Vision nodded and went back into the kitchen before the paprikash could burn.

Wanda quickly hurried to the door and opened it to find you standing on the other side, looking exhausted but happy you see her. You wore a loose fav/color t-shirt and patterned leggings with your denim jacket slung over your shoulder. The brunette pounced on you in a tight hug, you winced and let out a small gasp when she touched your ribs but bit your lip to hold down a groan.

“I missed you too.” You said, voice tight from pain, and Wanda quickly backed off.

“What, did I hurt you?” Wanda asked frantically, you waved her off, dragging your suitcase in behind you.

“It’s fine, it’s just a bruise.” You said, putting your suitcase next to one of the couches and sniffing the air.

Wanda quickly ran over to you to inspect the bruise, lifting your shirt to find a large, light blue bruise covering your entire left side. She gasped and let her fingers wander over it, noticing you gasp when she almost touched it. She used a little bit of her powers to ease the pain before standing up properly to face you.

“Thanks, and what’s that smell?” You asked, looking around to find Vision exiting the kitchen wearing an oxford shirt, navy blue v-neck sweater, and black trousers.

“I tried making paprikash to try and lift your spirits.” He gestured to Wanda. “Forgive me but I’ve never actually eaten anything.” Vision apologized, making an eating motion with one hand. 

You laughed and walked over to him, patting his shoulder.

“I’m sure you did your best.” You joked, patting his shoulder and walking into the kitchen, peering down into the large pot.

“It’s salvageable, you just need a lot more paprika than the tiny pinch at the top.” You commented.

Wanda laughed and followed you into the kitchen, peering down into the pot to find a light orange sauce, the top was peppered with red. Vision rubbed his neck and decided to pick a movie while you cooked. Wanda stirred the spoon, making the sauce a little thicker before lifting a spoon and tasting it, nodding slightly in approval. 

“Not bad, spirits lifted,” Wanda commented, Vision smiled at her and turned back to Netflix, you raised an eyebrow at the interaction.

“$20 it’s not as good as mine.” You muttered, gathering some spices to put in it. Wanda raised an eyebrow at your jealousy and smirked.

“Jealous? You should taste it.” Wanda commented, tasting another spoon to taunt you, licking her lips but missing a spot on the corner of her lip.

You smirked and took her arm after she put the spoon in the pot, yanking her towards you and kissing her. Wanda gasped into the kiss, she could feel your smirk but you quickly took the drop of sauce off the side of her lip and pulled away, licking your lips and shrugging.

“Not bad.” You commented, Wanda slapped you arm lightly as her blush grew.

You laughed and helped her improve the paprikash, enjoying your time with her as long as you could, playing some music to help her mood.

| Part 5 | 

Tag List: @capcarolsdanver, @versdan, @lesbian-girls-wayhaught, @lovebotlarson, @dhengkt, @5aftermidnight, @hstoria, @natasha-danvers, @veryfunnyal, @xxxtwilightaxelxxx , @ophelias-heart  , @never-didbefore , @justarandomhumanhere, @the-most-unicorn-of-them-all , @thatssocamryn , @lesbian-x-blackwidow , @wlw-imaginesss , @username23345 , let me know if you’d like to be in any of my tag lists!

A/N: The Preview takes place after this, so you might want to read that too.

[111forgiveness]

1. Do you prefer writing with black or blue pen?

I like both, it depends though. Probably black.

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city?

I’ve lived in the city my whole life, there are pros and cons to both options but I can picture myself living in a city when I have my own house

3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be?

Probably to speak fluent Spanish or Italian seeing as that’s the language my family speaks mostly. Or drums or saxophone !!!!!!

4. Do you drink your coffee/tea with sugar?

I don’t really like coffee so I seldom drink it, but I have a tea nearly every day with creamed honey

5. What was your favourite book as a child?

Hmm. This is sort of hard because I’ve always liked reading but only seriously started reading when I was 12 or so and I skipped YA novels and dove straight into like “adult” books. I re-read a book by a Canadian author, Raziel Ried, When everything feels like the movies maybe 3 or 4 times. I also love(d) diary of a wimpy kid.

6. Do you prefer baths or showers?

I shower every night and honestly I don’t care for baths much, I would like to, and I would like to take baths with lush products but idk I am hesitant

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would it be?

I would say a mermaid, dragon or maybe even a fairy or something that can fly!

8. Paper or electronic books?

Paper all the way

9. What is your favourite item of clothing?

Hard to say. I like this huge shirt I have from the mountain that has cats on it, I also like “dad” shirts a lot and fun seasonal grandma sweaters. Also shoes.

10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it?

I hated it as a little girl but I love it now, ans I like that I am named partly after my grandmother who has passed

11. Who is a mentor to you?

I would say maybe my aunt, Courtney love or princess Caroline 🤡

12. Would you like to be famous, and if so what for?

Probably an actress, musician or something like that

13. Are you a restless sleeper?

Sometimes but I have a lot of trouble sleeping anyways

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person?

I am physically affectionate and I have many ‘love languages’ but I am not, and I detest the romantic rose petals on the bed and shit like that

15. Which element best represents you?

Fire or water id say

16. Who do you want to be closer to?

Some people on here I talk to, I miss my friends irl too who I haven’t seen in about a year

17. Do you miss someone at the moment?

My grandma, my boyfriend, my bunnies

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory

Walking down the hospital corridor holding my grandmas hand and holding a cream stuffed elephant and balloon in the other going to meet my newborn sister and my mom who I hadn’t seen for a few days because she was busy giving birth, peeing my pants at marine land, making “food” with flour salt and other things at home, playing coffee break with my mom where she’d give me the teeniest amount of coffee and we would pretend to be construction workers my dad worked alongside with, having cookies and milk in red plastic bowls as a bedtime snack in the kitchen

19. What Is the strangest thing you’ve ever eaten?

I honestly cannot say

20. What are you most thankful for?

Love, and living and the small joys that are within both

21. Do you like spicy food?

Some, I like Siracha and jalapeños but I do not have a big spice tolerance

22. Have you ever met someone famous?

I met ALB in wisperland, Cody and Kevin from Crown lands and some dude from down with Webster by accident ant that is a horribly embarrassing story

23. Do you keep a diary or journal?

Yes

24. Do you prefer to use pen or pencil?

Pen, I hate pencil

25. What is your star sign?

Capricorn

26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy?

Crunchy, soggy is disgusting

27. What do you want your legacy to be?

Hard worker and good and interesting person

28. Do you like reading, what is the last book you read?

Yes and I am reading Coraline and The Hobbit

29. How do you show someone you love them?

I show physical affection or tell them

30. Do you like ice in your drinks?

Sometimes

31. What are you afraid of?

Not being believed, kidnapping and dying

32. What is your favourite scent?

Lavender, my bed and fruit cellars

33. Do you address older people by their name or sir name?

Depends who I’m talking to but usually their fists name

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life?

I’d have way too many belongings and I’d live in an old Victorian mansion with cats and a fish pond and swans and I’d throw dinner parties

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean?

I’m afraid of the ocean. I like beaches though if the water isn’t salt water

36. What would you do if you found $50 on the ground?

Keep it

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star?

No

38. What is the one thing you want to teach your children?

Take no shit

39. If you had to get a tattoo where would it be and what would it be?

Let’s see next year!

40. What can you hear now?

The fans of the cases and freezers at work and the radio

41. Where do you feel the safest?

At home alone in my room

42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer?

Fear and my sort of self hatred and envy

43. If you could travel back to any era, what would it be?

Late 80s to 2010

44. What is your most used emoji?

😭😞

45. Describe yourself using one word

Intellectual 😌

46. What do you regret the most?

Letting people treat me the way they did and my stick and poke

47. Last movie you saw?

Paradise Lost: the murders at Robin Hood hills

48. Last Tv show you watched?

Bojsck horseman

49. Invent a word and it’s meaning.

No❤️

I tag @softersoftestmp3 @mylifemymuse

Thank you Cierra ❣️

[hattywatch]

J. Vesey - Cups of Christmas Cheer

A/N: I am a Jimmy Blog. I’ve accepted it. I embrace it. Merry fuckin’ Christmas.

#2, 4 10, 22  2. “That’s the eggnog talking. I’m cutting you off.” 4. “Don’t be such a Scrooge.” 10. “Tis the season for sharing feelings, I guess.” 22. “How much sugar have you had?”

Every. Single. Year. 

You always tell yourself, as soon as you get home from these stupid things that it’s the last one. You wouldn’t be caught dead at another. 

Yet, here you are again, clad in an ugly sweater and snaking your way through the room of people entirely too advanced in age to be as absolutely smashed as they are. 

“Y/N!” You’re not sure if the shrill voice is your mother, or your aunt, they both sound alike after they’ve had a few glasses of champagne. Your dad catches your eye, winces and shakes his head in a little apology. 

“Hey guys, sorry I’m late. Traffic was a bitc-,” your mother pins you with a look that even in her tipsy state has you blushing at your choice of words, “Traffic was crappy.” She smiles as you alter your vocabulary for her, pleased you remembered your manners. 

“No problem at all, honey. You don’t have to hang out in here with the old folks this year! Some of the cousins and kids could make it this year.” You wrinkle your nose; you’re well into your twenties and not sure if she has forgotten. “Go into the den, I think they were about to start a game or something.” Nodding, you accept the glass of eggnog your mother pours for you and drop your coat and scarf over the chair in the kitchen before making your way through the crush of people into the den.

It’s calmer in there, the house party your mother was happily hosting in the front end of the house doesn’t affect the calm of the den, tucked all the way in the back of the house behind a set of french doors.

This is more your speed. You close the door behind you and the loud Christmas music from your mom’s party is barely audible and you’re eternally grateful. A few of your cousins wave hello and you recognize various other people lounging on the plush couches and recliners that dot the room. You’re hardly a group of “kids,” as your mother put it, everyone well into their 20s. 

Walking around the room, you say your hellos as your older cousin, Jason, sets his santa hat on the corner of the TV. “So, I’ll put on an episode of The Office or something we can all agree on,” he starts explaining, “and every time someone’s head lines up  with the hat and it looks like they’re wearing it, we all take a drink. Cool? Easy enough?” Everyone agrees, and it looks like only a few of the cousins have a wine or beer, some are just casually sipping unspiked-eggnog like yourself, probably stuck driving their parents home later. 

Finally you get to Jimmy. His mom and your mom work together and you've seen him and his siblings around for years. They're friendly with your family, but it's not like you seek each other out. There’s only one seat left, unless you want to sit on the floor, and it’s next to Jimmy. 

“Can I sit here, Jim,” you ask, but you’re already starting to sit. He sips from his drink, it also looks like eggnog. 

“Didn’t really give me much of a choice there. Where’s my girl gunna sit?” You move to stand, getting a little red-faced and flustered. 

“Oh, shit. I’m sorry. I didn’t kno-,” you stammer through something resembling a sentence.

He laughs and pats the cushion you just vacated.  “I’m just fucking with you.” He looks so smug and sure of himself as you sit back down, still grinning his little smile. 

“Yeah you’d like to, wouldn’t you?” You’re hoping to make him red and stammery. He’s made you feel that way a few times in the past. You’ve haven’t sought him out, but it’s not to say he isn’t cute enough to catch your eye at events like this, quick witted and soft spoken, whispering smart comments under his breath making you laugh. One friend said it’s lack of options, you think the term she used is “office hot," but you know better.  

He jerks his head towards you, eyebrow raised, ““That’s the eggnog talking. I’m cutting you off.” It isn’t quite blushing and befuddled, but you’ll take it. 

“Sorry, Jim. It’s virgin,” you swirl the nog around in the glass before taking a sip and settle back into the couch to watch the show. 

“Must be the sugar then; how much sugar have you had?” Kicking his foot, you ignore the question. 

Jason points at the TV as Michael yells at Toby, hat sitting perfectly on his head. You elbow Jimmy. “Drink!” 

He elbows you back, “I’m not playing. I don’t need an excuse to drink a beer.” He taps his bottle against your glass. 

“Aw, c’mon. Don’t be such a Scrooge!” You raise your glass and drink, to show him you’re playing, even without a beer. He rolls his eyes, but wraps his lips around the bottle and takes a swig, staring at you while he does. 

After the second episode people are starting to faction off into groups and chat. You take the chance to grab a water bottle from the fridge and spot a bottle of the beer Jimmy was drinking, so you grab that too. 

As you get back to the den, a few of your cousins walk past the opposite direction and say their goodbyes, before they start rounding up their parents- or attempt to anyway. By the time you make it back into the den there's only a few stragglers. Your cousin and her fiance standing in the corner talking to your neighbor's son, and two younger cousins sat on the floor in front of the TV trying to figure out how to hook up your brother's old Nintendo. 

You stop in the doorway since Jimmy is walking towards you. He smiles when he sees the beer and stops next to you, taking it from your hand and twisting open the top. 

"For me? Didn't know you cared." You didn't really know either, but maybe something about the magic of Christmas might be hitting you in the chest- it may also be his dorky Game of Thrones ugly sweater. 

You shrug up at him, catching a glimpse of the sprig of waxy leaves and white berries above his head. 

"Fuck." He follows your line of sight and looks up. 

"Ouch. I'm not that hideous, am I?" He takes a sip of his beer to hide the grimace that cracked through his always-calm facade. It sends you stuttering again. 

"Jim- no, not even. I just didn't want to assume- I didn't want to make you uncomforta-" he smirks, left side of his mouth pulling into his cheek. 

“I’m just fucking with you.” He repeats it so smoothly. 

You can't help yourself, “Yeah you’d like to, wouldn’t you?” Only half kidding, you're hopeful he takes the bait. 

The cold beer against your back before you can blink, his arms wrap around you and his mouth slides over yours. He pulls the breath from your lungs and you could slap your friend for even suggesting he's not smoking hot. 

It feels too quiet and you pull back from Jimmy, a little dizzy, and catch five pairs of eyes on you. 

He feels you tense under his arms and pulls you towards the kitchen, away from the gaping mouths in the den. "We should go for a walk. Seems we have a lot to talk about." 

Nodding, you shrug on your jacket and take his outstretched hand, following him out along the front path lined with bright white Christmas lights, twinkling happily. 

"Have to say, I didn't expect that." You squeeze his hand to let him know it wasn't a bad surprise. You'd be amiable to it happening again, frequently, in fact.

He tucks your hand into his jacket pocket, still wrapped up in his own, “Tis the season for sharing feelings, I guess," smiling down at you he leans over and plants another one on your cheek. 

Maybe mom's parties aren't so bad.

[dreammthief]

dig a little deeper

tagged by @gcralts​ and @quaffled thank u both ily 💕

1. do you prefer writing with a black pen or a blue pen? black

2. would you prefer to live in the country or in the city? oh 100% city

3. if you could learn a new skill, what would it be? I always wanted to learn how to tumble/gymnastics so that would be cool but my eighty-year-old knees could never

4. do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? tea never, coffee always

5. what was your favorite book as a child? I always loved series so i primarily went from magic treehouse to percy jackson and harry potter

6. do you prefer baths or showers? showers regularly, but baths for relaxing with wine and a book

7. if you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be? sksksksk if not a dragon, then definitely a faerie

8. paper or electronic books? paper or not at all 

9. what is your favorite item of clothing? my two, very oversized crewneck sweaters they’re ariana grande merch shut up I know

10. do you like your name? would you like to change it? i like it enough not to change it, but sometimes I wonder if I would have preferred my “almost name”, victoria

11. who is a mentor to you? my mom??? I mean I literally cannot make a decision without calling her so

12. would you like to be famous? if so, what for? it’s my dream to publish a book one day and of course i’d want it to do well, so, yes, i’d like to be famous for that (copying this verbatim from wik because we’re the same person but what else is new)

13. are you a restless sleeper? oh god no I don’t move at all but it does take me fuckn forever to actually fall asleep

14. do you consider yourself to be a romantic person? i am... so soft, yes

15. which element best represents you? fireeee

16. who do you want to be closer to? this is probably not what this question is asking for but i wish my good friends on here lived closer to me (or at least on the same continent) so i could see them irl (im copying again its too good also ily)

17. do you miss someone at the moment? literally everyone back home that I moved away from, especially my mom :(

18. tell us about an early childhood memory. i don’t know how I remember this but my mom has assured me its real, but when I was eighteen months old (I swore in the memory I was like seven hahahha nope) I thought I saw my nana so I waved at her and got my arm caught in the train door of the london underground and had to be rushed to the ER and my parents missed our flight back to the states ooooops also my nana was 1000% not there at all 

19. what is the strangest thing you have eaten? probably some various form of bug on a dare from my brothers whenever we went camping

20. what are you most thankful for? my friends, family, and my resilience? like I keep finding myself leaning back into depression and constantly fight to stay out of that dark place 

21. do you like spicy food? yessssss

22. have you ever met someone famous? uhhhh no? no one comes to mind

23. do you keep a diary or journal? no but I really, really should

24. do you prefer to use pen or pencil? pen, unless its math math then pencil

25. what is your star sign? libra

26. do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy? if my jaw doesn’t ache after eating it I don’t want it

27. what would you want your legacy to be? i want to save lives and leave people better, more hopeful, and happier than when I found them

28. do you like reading? what was the last book you read? god yes, and red white and royal blue which wrecked me

29. how do you show someone you love them? i like to spend time with them and I like to know them, as well as let them know me

30. do you like ice in your drinks? its nice but not a necessity

31. what are you afraid of? losing a loved one, forever being alone alone, and not being good enough

32. what is your favorite scent? sawdust, sandalwood, pine, and literally anything “manly”

33. do you address older people by their name or surname? mostly first name I think?? I can’t think of an instance where I wasn’t familiar enough with them not to use it

34. if money was not a factor, how would you live your life? bitch I would travel the earth until I died

35. do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? por que no los dos??

36. what would you do if you found $50 in the ground? i mean if I didn’t see anyone drop it or anything, then I would probably keep it and pay it forward somewhere

37. have you ever seen a shooting star? did you make a wish? yes and no

38. what is one thing you would want to teach your children? *nieces/nephews, and to be independent, clever and funny lol

39. if you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? I have several, but the next one I want is inspired by a drawing called self love by frederic forest and on the back of my elbow if that makes sense

40. what can you hear now? a storm, rain pelting on the window

41. where do you feel the safest? surrounded by my friends and family, doesn’t matter where

42. what is one thing you want to overcome/conquer? being more open about my past trauma

43. if you could travel back to any era, what would it be? god, it would be horrible as far as how far we’ve come in so many aspects of life, but I’ve always been interested to know how it would be to live in the 15th/16th century 

44. what is your most used emoji? 😂 + 😭 + 🥺 

45. describe yourself using one word. resilient

46. what do you regret the most? trusting certain people  

47. last movie you saw? the half of It

48. last tv show you watched? sex education

49. invent a word and its meaning veration - (noun) extreme happiness for fictional characters or ships that causes a real, physical response; ex: kate’s veration over pynch deepened when she realized they were canon. 

tagging: some new mutuals @ughdraco @chlamets @fleurdlacour @avilareyna @henriettia @eorwyn @ivashkov + anyone else who wants to (also feel free to ignore this)

[sandyfeetshshop]

Camper Mom Flower Tee Shirts

Happy spring join us for a Camper Mom Flower Tee Shirts free screening of unicorns in los angeles tues may 3rd 7 30pm gsa melnitz movies james bridges theater ucla melnitz hall 1409 235 charles e young dr los angeles ca 90095 rsvp here. Alisa k hansen of orem ut is the last unicorn screening tour’s august 2017 prizewinner selected at random from the 10 000 people who signed up as tour members at screenings alisa attended the 10 21 2014 tour event at the megaplex theater at the junction in ogden ut I was so excited when I answered my phone and learned that I was this month’s winner I have been a fan of this movie since I was very little I watched it over and over again I learned the main movie theme and sang it often I would even sing it to my campers when I was a camp councilor to help them get to sleep when I found the book at a used bookstore I devoured it and have read it many times since then it is a best friend now I had to buy a new copy because I read it so much the last unicorn really sparked my love of unicorns and fantasy they are a huge part of who I am and what I have become I can’t imagine my life without my love of fantasy and this story it has spurred my art my story telling and my reading I m excited to experience the last unicorn in a new way I saw the graphic novel at the movie screening but I was unable to purchase it at the time so it makes me very happy to win it thank you peter s beagle for writing a story that really touched my life as her prize alisa selected the new expanded deluxe graphic novel that is coming out from conlan press later this year in the meantime she s been shipped a copy of the earlier idw deluxe edition to tide her over until the expanded deluxe edition arrives congratulations alisa. Cleanse 101 eat light meals it s not about eating nothing it s about eating smart here s a sample menu for day 1 on our cleanse breakfast an apricot and cup of berries with cashew milk and tsp of cinnamon lunch arugula salad with grilled asparagus and wild salmon or tuna dinner pictured riced cauliflower bowl with sautéed onions mushrooms and a vegetable burger patty contact your avon representative to shop espirabyavon today

Source: Camper Mom Flower Tee Shirts

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Camper Mom Flower Tee Shirts

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Premium Trending, TV Show This Summer Season will Presents Who Love:

This is terrorism plain and simple terror bares no race gender or religion democrats republicans please unite now guncontrol prayers are important but speaker paul ryan donald j trump blood is on the hands of those who have power to legislate guncontrol act quickly 4 anyone who’d like to join i’m doing a Camper Mom Flower Tee Shirts 20 minute moment of meditation silence prayer on my instagramlive for calming of the 3 30 pst. Hi i’m curious why and when you decided to add dha to your sensitive formula what is different with this dha that it wasn’t previously added in I just noticed it in my formula bundle shipment don’t get me wrong i’m way more than happy about this because trying to syringe fishy tasting dha drops into my 7 month olds mouth every day is not exactly ideal I just didn’t see an announcement post article on this unless I missed it and would be interested in reading about it was there one thanks. Amid protests donald trump visits the tree of life synagogue where 11 jewish worshippers were shot dead See Other related products: SLP Can Do Virtually Anything Colorful T-Shirt

[let-it-raines]

Catch Me If You Can (21/?)

298 days. That’s how long Killian Jones was away from a baseball field. It’s less than a year, only part of a season for him, but it might as well have lasted a decade as he alternated between physical therapy and spending an excessive amount of time sitting on his couch.

But then he came back and won the World Series.

It’s something no one saw coming, and it’s certainly not something anyone who knows about his arm would predict. Now it’s a new season with new possibilities, and anything could happen. On-field reporter Emma Swan will be there to cover it all even if she is not his biggest fan right now.

Asking her out live on-air will do that.

Rating: Mature

a/n: I technically don’t have a horse in the race for the World Series that’s currently happening (tonight could be the last game 🙀), but since this lil’ universe exists because of @wellhellotragic​, I’ll be pulling for the Astros to actually win a game at home! 

@resident-of-storybrooke​ remains the best for reading these words, which include some more meeting of the fam jams! 

Found on AO3: Beginning | Current

Tumblr: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 |15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 |

Tag list: @eala-captian @galaxyzxstark @xellewoods @mariakov81 @ultraluckycatnd @royalswan @shey-starsfury​ @superchocovian​ @sals86 @iam2307 @ashley-knightingale @karenfrommisthaven @scientificapricot @captswanis4vr @ultimiflos @jamif @idristardis @nikkiemms @resident-of-storybrooke @tiganasummertree @bmbbcs4evr @onceuponaprincessworld @jennjenn615 @mayquita @captainsjedi @teamhook @notoriouscs @kmomof4 @ekr032-blog-blog@cs-forlife @andiirivera @jonirobinson64 @qualitycoffeethings​ @youraverageshipper​

-/-

New York City in the summer is both the best and the worst.

There are approximately a million things to do, which is pretty much always true for this city, but things seem to multiply this time of year compared to any other time. Well, maybe besides around Christmas, but then every street is so full of tourists that Emma can’t do anything for fear of losing her temper and yelling at a middle-aged couple simple trying to enjoy their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary trip.

Bah-humbug.

And as much as Emma likes the way she can wear her jeans with a cozy sweater and coat draped over her with a warm beanie covering her ears, summertime is pretty much the prime time for her with so many baseball games happening and with the US Open coming around at the end of August. But it is decidedly not the end of August since it’s more like the end of July, and all she feels right now is like a big puddle that’s ready to melt whenever she walks outside. Also, that she smells like garbage, but that’s more likely the city than her considering she showered this morning and used vanilla body wash that she can smell on herself.

As well as sunscreen.

And sweat. There is definitely some sweat involved despite the fact she is only wearing a pair of shorts and a tank top with a hell of a lot of deodorant. She literally has deodorant in her backpack next to her laptop and notebook full of stat sheets.

Her hair is really gross too despite the braid it’s in, and the game hasn’t even started. It’s going to be a long day. For a multitude of reasons.

David, Mary Margaret, and Leo walking toward her in the hallway is near the top of that list.

“Emma,” Leo gasps when he sees her, quickly running toward her and leaving his parents behind in the dust. He’s got on a Captain America shirt and the signed Killian Jones hat gracing the top of his head. They didn’t explicitly tell Leo that she and Killian are dating – kids being kids and not being able to keep secrets and all that – but he pretty much knows. And he’s definitely going to after this.

“Hi, bud,” she laughs, squatting down the slightest bit (he’s getting too tall) to wrap him up in a hug that she knows is far too tight. “Long time no see.”

“I saw you for dinner last night.”

“That is too long.”

“You’re clingy,” Leo scoffs before pulling back from her hug to look at her with those furrowed little brows of his.

“Clingy? Who taught you that word?”

“Mom said that about dad.”

“Hey,” Mary Margaret huffs, sliding her arm around Emma in greeting, “don’t be telling tales.”

“It’s true.”

“I’m clingy?” David questions, his forehead wrinkling when he raises his brows. “Since when am I clingy?”

“That’s a conversation for another time.”

“But I – ”

“Okay,” Emma claps, breaking up the argument that is very inevitably about to happen no matter how small it’s going to be, “so I’m going to show you guys to your suite before I have to go out onto the field for a bit.”

“Emma, I know my way around the stadium,” David grumbles like he always does when there is any implication that he does not know absolutely everything that he needs to know, but then he’s kissing her cheek in greeting and gently patting her back in that David way of letting her know that he’s teasing even when she already knows this. It’s, like, a whole full circle thing. “Why is it that you are taking us to a suite today instead of us just sitting in my seats?”

The scorecard keeps ticking higher on David mentioning his investment in baseball by mentioning his season-ticket seats, but honestly, she can’t even say anything.

“Because,” Emma sighs, wrapping her arm around Leo’s shoulder and pulling him forward, “you are a workaholic who needed to get out of the office and spend some time with your family, and I made some special arrangements for that. Also, it’s crazy hot outside today, and the suites have air-conditioning.”

They’re in one of the first suites that Emma comes to, and she unwraps her arm from Leo’s shoulder to flash her badge at one of the security guards in charge of the player family suites before a door is opened for them to go inside. Liam, Elsa, Anna, and Kris are already inside sitting down on the couches that are in front of the TV monitor, and Addy and Lucy are watching something on an iPad, pink headphones covering their ears.

“Emma, are those?” Mary Margaret asks, trailing off at the end.

“Yep, that’s Killian’s family.”

“But we haven’t even met Killian yet.”

“Oh,” Emma sighs, smiling a bit to herself at them reacting to this exactly the way that she knew that they would, “I know. He’ll be up here when he finishes with the game though, okay? I’m feeding him to the lion’s den while I’m working, but he’s going to take us all to dinner afterwards so that you guys can do your creepy interrogation like Liam did to me.”

“He did what now?” David fumes, reaching forward to gently grab her elbow while Liam himself turns around, finally spotting they they’ve entered the room.

Emma can’t help but roll her eyes while her stomach does that twisting thing that is pretty much becoming its trademark. All of these people are ridiculous. “It’s fine, David. It was a joke. But seriously. I might be in and out depending on how the game goes, but Killian is going to come up here after he finishes his cool down, and afterwards, we’re going out to dinner.”

“How is that going to work if you guys are keeping things quiet?”

Emma shrugs her shoulders, a little bit of nervous energy washing over her. It��s something she and Killian have talked about a lot in the past week now that everyone important knows about everything important, and while they’re still figuring things out, they’ve decided that it’s probably safe to go somewhere low key for dinner as long as they’re in a group. Maybe eventually they’ll be able to go to dinner with just the two of them without Emma looking over her shoulder. It’s not like Killian is Brad Pitt or anything, but her worries of being spotted are legitimate. She’s in a very happy little bubble right now, and even though a bit of it has been burst, it’s still holding strong.

She deserves this. Killian does too.

“We’ve got it figured out,” she tells David before walking toward Liam and greeting him with a hug and doing the same with everyone else. Killian’s family are a bunch of huggers, even for people they don’t know very well, and that’s something she’s figured out very quickly. “Okay, so I’m about to do some quick introductions, so everyone brace yourself.”

“David Nolan,” David interrupts, reaching forward to shake Liam’s hand in what Emma can tell is a far too hard handshake to show off some kind of weird masculine authority. “It’s nice to meet you – ”

“Liam Jones. And this is my wife Elsa, her sister Anna, and Anna’s husband Kris. The two munchkins ignoring us are my daughter’s Addison and Lucy, and I bet they will be great friends with your son.”

“How old are they?” Leo asks. “Because I don’t want to be friends with anyone younger than four.”

Elsa actually snorts while Mary Margaret’s intake of breath might as well be a sign that death is coming with how dramatic it was.

“Leo,” Mary Margaret admonishes, “that is not very nice. You should apologize.”

Elsa stops laughing to wave Mary Margaret away, a kind smile on her face. “It’s fine, I promise. I get it. The girls do stuff like that all of the time, and luckily for Leo, they are both a little bit older than that. Plus, Addy really likes Captain America too.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, why don’t you go over there and talk to her?”

Leo smiles and nods his head before sprinting over to the girls, plopping down on the couch hard enough that Addy and Lucy might as well bounce off of it.

“I’m really sorry about that,” Mary Margaret says again. “He was stuck with me working with a bunch of younger kids the other day, and I think that’s scarred him.”

“It really is fine,” Elsa smiles. “At least he’s a kid and there’s a bit of an excuse. Anna here sometimes says things like that, and she’s an adult.”

“Only technically,” Anna laughs.

“This is true,” Kris adds in.

“Hey, you’re not supposed to talk about me like that.”

“What? It’s true. It’s how you are. You have the enthusiasm of a kid with a bag of skittles. It’s wonderful.”

“Yeah, but you guys aren’t supposed to say things like that when we’re trying to make a good impression with Emma’s family. We’re supposed to look normal.”

It’s Emma’s turn to snort and shake her head before reaching forward to squeeze Anna’s forearm. “There’s no such thing as normal, which I’m sure you guys will realize as soon as I leave you all here to make some awkward small talk.”

“There isn’t going to be anything awkward about it,” Kris smiles before bumping his hip into Anna’s, “unless Anna keeps talking.”

“You are something else today.”

“You guys are all something else,” Emma laughs, hoping to everything that this is going to go well. This isn’t something she’s ever really had to do before, and it’s kind of terrifying. “But I trust that you can all get along with your spouses, since that seems to be a problem today, and each other. Now I’m going to go sweat my ass off outside, but you guys have a good time up here. And if they bring in those cheeseburger sliders, save me some.”

With that, she turns to walk out the door, knowing she doesn’t have time to go through proper goodbyes with all of them (she’d be there forever), and quickly makes her way to the elevator so that she can get to the tunnels that are going to take her out to the dugout. She always loves the days where she gets to spend some time in there, to really get a behind the scenes feel at it all, and while she’s a bit wary of some of the players now, she knows that it’s all going to be fine.

This is a game, but it’s also a job.

Al nods his head at her when she pushes open the door and walks toward her designated spot at the end with the water cooler and bat racks. August and Lance greet her, the rest of the guys sitting around ignoring her, and she’s thankful when she finds Jeff already in his seat.

“Hey,” he mumbles, his legs shaking up and down.

“Hey, why do you look nervous?”

“I’m fucking hot.”

Emma laughs and takes her seat next to him, and Jeff hands her the microphone pack and her earpiece, which she immediately turns on even though she knows Ruby is probably about to bombard her with questions.

“We can go inside for a bit when the first inning is over. I don’t plan on being out here the entire time.”

“Thank you.”

Emma knocks her knee into Jeff’sJeff’s,but he ignores her and turns his head to look out at the field. He’s always such a character.

“So,” Ruby teases, her voice breaking through the static, “how did the meeting go?”

“Fine. I bolted pretty quick, though. Also, Rubes, we can’t really talk about this stuff while I’m working.”

“Why not – oh, wait, never mind. I got you. There are a lot of people around who can hear you.”

“Yep,” Emma sighs, shaking her head a bit, “so tell me what kind of coverage you want me to get for this game. Jeff and I are already dying of heat.”

“Fine,” Ruby grumbles, and Emma can practically imagine the roll of her eyes, “I guess I will give you instructions for your job instead of gossiping about your life.”

-/-

Killian only pitches three innings, and while it’s a bit unusual, Emma doesn’t think anything of it. They’ve got their first road game in Boston next week, and she imagines Al doesn’t want anything to happen to Killian’s arm. And there’s no reason for him to overexert himself when they’re so easily winning and have already got this series in the bag no matter what happens the rest of the afternoon.

Plus, he winks at her when she finishes doing a quick interview with him after he’s pulled from the game, and the smile on his face tells her everything that she needs to know about how good he’s feeling.

She hopes that he feels that way after he goes upstairs and meets most everyone.

They probably should have eased everyone into it, but honestly, she thinks Killian will be more comfortable with his family around.

“Are you going to make me do one of those Instagram filters again today?” Will questions, as he plops down on the bench next to her, tilting the water cup back and drinking it down in one gulp. “Or am I playing twenty questions? Do you want to talk about my wedding? Or maybe even the game?”

“Shut up, asshole,” Emma laughs before reaching up to fan her face and wipe the sweat from her brow. “You’re the worst.”

“Um, actually, I believe you quite like me.”

“That’s debatable.”

Will hums as there’s some shuffling in front of them with Arthur King reaching around Emma to get his bat and helmet. Anxious shivers run down her spine when she sees him now, and her entire body stiffens until there’s a gentle pressure on her forearm from where Will is squeezing it.

“Hey,” he whispers, dipping his head down to look up at her, his goofy grin replaced with a soft smile that she usually doesn’t see with him, “you okay?”

She nods her head, wishing that her stomach wasn’t twisting like this. “I’m fine.”

“He’s not going to say shit like that again, Emma,” Will promises as his hand squeezes her arm again. “You are a member of this team, just like me and Killian and Rob, and we’ve got your back no matter what happens. I don’t let people talk shit about anyone but especially my friends.”

“Are we friends now?”

“Jones told me that we had to be.”

Emma scoffs and rolls her eyes, but she still knocks her knee into Will’s, a smile curving at the corner of her lips. Who knew that Will Scarlet was going to be so in her corner this early on? Or at all.

“Thanks. I’ll let you pick the filter you use the next time I do Instagram stuff simply because of that.”

“Sounds like music to my ears.”

-/-

Emma doesn’t get any chances to go back up to the suite during the game, but afterwards, when she’s wrapped up all of her work stuff and told Jeff goodbye, she finds herself walking through the suite doors only to find Killian standing at the counter wrapping sliders in a paper towel while talking to David.

Should she focus on the fact that she knows that Killian’s wrapping those up for her even though she asked everyone else to do it or the fact that Killian is talking to David?

Probably both.

“Hey,” she says slowly, stepping up to the two of them so that they both glance over at her, small smiles gracing both of their lips. Okay, good, that’s a good sign. “How are things going?”

“Just dandy,” Killian tells her, lifting his arm so that she can step into his space and press up on her toes to kiss his cheek. “Dave is telling me about how he makes me look good on TV.”

“Dave?” she questions, and all Killian does in response is brush a kiss over the hair at the crown of her head.

“That is not exactly what I was saying,” David clarifies. “Killian asked me about work, and I explained it to him. Him thinking that he needs help to look good is all on him.”

“I mean, I get it. I help him look good every week when I could very easily make him look awful.”

“You are so kind to me, darling.”

“I know.”

Killian smiles down at her in that way that makes her heart stutter and her breath hitch, and there are so many emotions flying through her right now that she’s not entirely sure what to feel. There are also a million questions she’s going to have to gulp down, and Emma already knows that she’s going to have to ask Mary Margaret or Elsa for all of the details how everything went.

She really, really, really  wants Killian and David to get along. That’s, like, everything to her even if she didn’t realize it when this whole thing started. Ruth and Mary Margaret will like anyone who is nice to her, but David has seen so much of the shit that’s happened in her life that he’s a little bit more particular.

Okay, a lot.

“Are these sliders for me?” she asks even though she already knows the answer.

“Aye. I figured you’d want something to eat on the way to the restaurant since I didn’t see you eat during the game. Were you avoiding it so as not to get on camera again?”

“Kind of. It was also too damn hot to eat.”

Killian’s lips tick up on the right, his brow arching high on his head, and she knows that there’s a dirty joke rumbling around in there. It must be hard for him not to be able to say it, but they are most definitely not at a comfort level where he can talk about having sex with her in front of David. In fact, it’s probably best if they never get to that comfort level.

“Dad,” Leo groans as he walks over to the them, “Mom said to ask you when we can go eat.”

“I think we can go now since Emma’s all finished with work.”

“Thank goodness. I thought I was going to starve to death.”

“You know, kid,” Killian laughs, dropping his arm from around Emma’s shoulder, “you sound a lot like your aunt.”

What can she say? She and Leo like to eat.

They go to a low-key pizza place six blocks over from Liam and Elsa’s townhome. All of them are so spread out in different boroughs of the city that it’s pretty much impossible to meet in the middle, but Liam suggested the place since he knows that it’s quiet and that the girls like it a lot. Emma’s honestly pretty nervous walking inside, Killian following right behind her with his hand ghosting over the small of her back. It’s odd to have been dating someone for this much time and never really been out with them, but this relationship is never going to fall into the category of ordinary anyways. It’s always going to be a little off and a little funky, and that’s fine with her because it works. She’s never been one to need to be wined and dined anyways.

And maybe she’s also nervous because of the fear that someone is going to see them and that connections are going to be made, but Elsa quickly talks to the hostess and has them moved to a large corner booth in the back that no one else in the restaurant can really see. Bless Elsa. Honestly and truly. Emma knew she would be great for how Killian always talked about her, but Emma had no idea that she was going to so quickly hit it off with the woman so that they almost feel like friends now too.

It’s been a week since they met, but everything goes so naturally that it feels like so much longer.

This isn’t her or her life or the way things usually go. Emma doesn’t just make friends with people she meets and doesn’t integrate her life with others. The only constant friend she’s had over the past six years that isn’t somehow quasi-related to her is Ruby – toss Graham in there too – and if it wasn’t for Ruby pretty much demanding that she and Emma get along, Emma would probably still think of the woman as just her producer.

How different life would be.

So Emma is definitely not the type of person to have multiple people texting her throughout the day or asking about plans, knowing and understanding that the rigorous game scheduling makes those plans kind of difficult to make. But here she is at a table with ten other people where the conversation is easily flowing from subject to subject because all of these people are making an effort to get along for she and Killian.

She’s got some pretty awesome people around her, the man whose hand keeps inching up on her inner thigh included.

Emma twists her head to look at Killian and tell him to stop teasing her by squeezing her thigh, but instead of seeing the smirk she was expecting, his free hand reaches up to cover his mouth as he yawns.

“Are you tired?”

Killian nods as he keeps yawning, small tears escaping the corners of his eyes, and when the yawn finishes, he has to keep blinking the tears away. “Exhausted. I could go for an entire vat of caffeine.”

“Or get an IV of coffee in your arm.”

“What?” he questions, very obviously not getting her reference.

“Gilmore Girls reference, twenty-nine,” Emma sighs, patting his hand on her thigh. “Gilmore Girls. I know we’ve talked about it before. You should watch it when you have time. It’s, like, a peak early 2000’s show. But you can skip the last season.”

“I’ll keep that in mind when I inevitably forget about this conversation and the show.”

“Do you need to go home? We can leave whenever.”

“No,” Killian promises even though he yawns when he says it, “I’m good for a little while longer.”

“Is it past your bedtime?” Lucy asks quietly from her seat next to Emma.

“Do you think your uncle goes to bed before you, sweetie?”

“He looks sleepy. Do you want my pizza?”

Emma’s not exactly sure where the correlation is there, but that’s kind of how kids are. It’s much more entertaining than talking to adults sometimes.

“No, Luce,” Killian promises, leaning over Emma to talk to her, “I don’t want your pizza, but thank you. That’s very sweet. I think it’s past your bedtime though.”

“It’s not Lucy’s bedtime for another hour,” Addy helpfully adds in, much to the amusement of everyone else. “Mine isn’t until eight because I’m older.”

“Mine is at nine,” Leo says.

“I wish I could go to bed that early,” Elsa sighs as she reaches down to pick up her glass of water. “You guys don’t know how good you’ve got it sleeping that much.”

“I don’t like to sleep,” Addy laughs.

“Me either,” Leo says back to Addy, giving her a high five.

Mary Margaret is probably already planning their wedding or something ridiculous like that for how much fun they seem to be having. Actually, Mary Margaret is probably planning hypothetical weddings for several people at this table, but that is not something Emma is going to start thinking about. Nope. Not anywhere near to even being close to being ready and the little thoughts need to chill the hell out. So, if Mary Margaret is going to plan creepy hypothetical weddings, it can be her son’s.

They’ll probably have Captain America-themed plates with baseball hats and stuffed animals from the zoo lining the aisle.

Okay, now Emma is the crazy one.

Maybe she’s a little tired too.

“So, Killian,” David starts, very obviously changing the subject, “I mean to ask earlier, but why did Al pull you out of the game so early?”

Killian’s hand squeezes her thigh, nails digging into the skin a bit roughly, but then he’s letting out a breath and releasing her thigh so that he can scratch at his jaw. “Ah, preservation for the Sox series. Nothing to worry about. I wasn’t feeling top notch, and it’s better not to risk it, you know?”

“That makes sense. I feel like I spend so much time simply making sure things run smoothly on camera that I never get to actually pay attention to the game, so today was nice.”

“See,” Emma huffs, looking between the two of them and pushing down that little feeling of worry over Killian not feeling well today. It was probably just the heat. “I told you that it would be nice. You got all defensive about sitting in the suite.”

“To be fair, I had no idea we would be meeting Killian’s family today.”

“Yeah, hon,” Mary Margaret sighs before picking up a slice of pizza and taking a bite, “we were blindsided a bit, and apparently everyone else already knew.”

“I didn’t want you to prepare questions or some kind of actual interrogation or something else ridiculous beforehand. You have a tendency to be a little too much on the friendly scale.”

“I do not.”

“You totally do.”

“How?”

“Marg,” Emma laughs, “you probably would have been like Ariel and tried planning a vacation for all of us before you even shook Liam’s hand.”

“I would not have.”

“I bet if I looked at your phone right now there would be flights pulled up to Aspen or something.”

Mary Margaret narrows her eyes at Emma, but then Anna is clapping her hands together and making everyone look at her. “Oh, I just love this too much! I think a group vacation would be the most fun.”

Everyone starts laughing, and Killian picks up his bottle of beer to tilt at Anna. “Emma was right when she said that you and Mary Margaret get along swimmingly. It’s uncanny, actually, how similar you are.”

“Friendly people make friends, little brother.”

“Liam, I don’t know how many times I have to say that there is nothing little about me. Ask Emma.”

“Oh my God,” Emma gasps, reaching back to slap his chest, “no. We are not talking about that. You’re an idiot. There are children here.”

“To be fair,” Kris starts, and everyone turns to him, “they got here by the either little or not-so-little attachments we’re alluding to.”

Nothing like alluding to dicks to make a group of people come together.

Okay, that thought could be taken a lot dirtier than Emma intended, so it’s a good thing she’s not thinking out loud.

They all quietly leave the restaurant half an hour later, the conversation and laughter not at all slowing down for the rest of the time there. Maybe it was the bit of alcohol that most everyone had or maybe it was simply hitting a stride in conversation, but it doesn’t really matter. All Emma knows is that her stomach hurts from laughing and she’s got this smile on her face that she hopes stays for awhilea while.

“Today was nice,” Mary Margaret sighs as the two of them stand outside the restaurant while David and Killian settle the bill inside. “I like Killian a lot. I really like that he makes you smile.”

Emma blushes, and her smile increases despite her best efforts not to let it. Who in the world is this woman who is smiling all of the time? This is not her. But maybe it is now.

“You are such a mom, Marg.”

“Literally I am.”

“You know what I mean, though.”

“I do, I do,” she sighs, wrapping her arm around Leo’s waist and pulling him closer so that he doesn’t wander off the sidewalk and into the street. “But you’re basically my first baby even though this one came so close after I met you. All I want is for you to be happy, and that man makes you happy.”

“Yeah, he does.”

“Emma,” Leo asks, looking up at her as the restaurant doors open behind him, “can I meet Will Scarlet now too?”

“We’ll see, kid,” Emma laughs. “We’ll see.”

“You ready to go, love?”

Killian walks over to her and moves to wrap his arm around her shoulder before stopping himself, eyes glancing to the few people around them, and Emma’s heart sinks at that. But she knows that this is for the best, and Killian not being able to wrap his arm around her shoulder when they’re about to get in the car isn’t that big of a deal. It’s really not a deal at all, and Emma pushes down her worries so that she can look up at Killian and smile.

“Yeah, I’m ready.”

The two of them say their goodbyes to everyone else before walking two blocks over to find Killian’s car where it’s parked, Killian opening her door for her even when she insists that she do it herself so that Emma can quickly slide into the passenger’s seat.

“You and David took a million years to pay.”

“Did we?” Killian hums, very pointedly taking a little too long inspecting the gearshift.

“You did. Did he go all big-brother on you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Swan.”

“You, Killian Jones,” Emma scoffs as Killian pulls out of the parking spot and onto the street, “are a liar.”

“And obviously not a very good one either.”

Emma sighs as Killian twists his head and winks at her, a mischievous smile painted on his lips. “What did David ask you?”

“About my intentions with you.”

Groaning, she sinks down further on the leather seat, wondering if it’s acceptable to unbutton her shorts because she’s eaten pizza and cheeseburger sliders in the past three hours and has food babies inside of her stomach. Multiple. That’s how much she has eaten.

“Seriously?”

“Yep,” Killian laughs, turning the blinker on before reaching over to grab her hand and bring her knuckles to his lips to brush a kiss there, the charmer.

“What’d you tell him?”

“That I love you and am very much in this for the long haul as long as you’ll have me. Now do you want to go to your place or mine?”

“Mine,” Emma tells him as her heart stutters in her chest at his words and all of the implications behind them. “Let’s go to my place.”

[jungkookfeelz]

Secrets

Description: After a terrible breakup with your boyfriend, you decide to take revenge. Bringing along the infamous mysterious bad boy Jeon Jungkook.

Words: 3K

Notes: I was so busy with school that I couldn’t write as much as I wanted to >.< I’m so sorry! I have to write a one-shot after this so the next chapter will come out a bit later than usual. In this chapter, Jungkook nor the other members show up yet (besides the explanation of Namjoon) so be prepared. I wanted to show Y/N’s family life and relationship  before starting the real part of the story~

~~~~~~~~~~~~

This summer has been too long, you were honestly ready for school to start up again. You had never been this excited for school, you were in your last year in high school, with the best boyfriend, you are always shocked remembering that you are dating one of the most popular guys in school. You weren't anything special, people knew you because of him but you like to think that they decided to stick around because of your cute charm. You had your best friend Namjoon to keep you company, you've known him since childhood so to say that you knew him all your life was the perfect description of your friendship. He challenged you mentally which you were thankful for. You couldn't do badly in school, not if you wanted a future. 

You were the typical nerd with the exception that you loved soccer. You always watched it growing up with your dad before he passed, he always said "One day, Y/N you will be on TV" he repeated, after every game, it always made you giggle like a little child getting ice cream, your ambitions growing every time. But now that you are older you knew that it wasn't going to happen for you, given the fact that you weren't informed that there were try-outs in the summer for the varsity girls soccer team and didn't end up going, even your boyfriend didn't know about them and he's the captain of the varsity boys soccer team, that's how secretive it was. So you gave up trying to live up to your father's expectations. Your boyfriend Jae was the best thing in your life, he took care of you while your mother was doing god knows what with god knows who. It's not like you needed protection, you were a big girl but he just had the need to make sure you were okay which made your heart heavy with an appreciation for having him in your life. 

You knew your mom had some mental issues that she was dealing with since your father passed away, she hadn't grieved her husband's death properly and hasn't let that wound heal, just slept with any guy that even smiled her way or worked late nights at the office any chance she could. You barely saw your mom, you missed her but couldn't help but feel anger every time you had to go to bed hearing her activities with the latest man or seeing him leave in embarrassment after she kicks them out in the morning, acting as nothing had happened. Trying to reason with her was pointless, she was a very hot-headed stubborn woman. She would always say something about her paying for the house which meant she could do anything that she pleased. You stopped trying after a few months. 

You were sat at the kitchen table eating a bowl of cereal, looking intently at your phone than writing into your calendar book. You were getting your schedule prepared for the new semester, you had to do well so you could win a few grants and scholarships

"This would've been a lot easier if I played soccer, maybe then I would get a sports scholarship" You mutter to yourself sourly. You pursed your lips in distaste. You try not to think about the inevitable but you can't help it sometimes. Just as you were about to take another bite from your cereal you heard footsteps descending down the stairs

"Here we go..." rolling your eyes, you waited for the next man to get rejected by your lovely mother. He walked by the doorway, noticing you he stopped and walked into the kitchen.

  "Hello, sweetheart...I didn't know you lived here" He smirked, you felt bile rising in your throat, of course, another perverted man wanting his dick wet "Please pack your belongings and leave my home," You say with no emotion, looking ahead of you, playing with your fingers on top of the table showcasing no fear. You were used to this, your mom didn't care about you, never defended you from these men. You used to have to cower under the bed before they leave. The man frowned, his eyes show anger. He probably didn't get this kind of treatment from women, his ego was obviously bruised. He walked closer to you as a show of dominance but you knew men like him from the back of your hand, the disgusting way they think they deserve everything they want without any consequences. You quickly got up and grabbed your phone, holding it up beside you as you glare at the towering man before you.

"If you don't leave this house in the next five seconds, I'm calling the cops" You raise an eyebrow, he wouldn't dare stay. You were underage. He scowled and walked away towards the door knowing he couldn't get what he desires. You. Leaving the house with a loud bang making the house quack. After sitting back down sighing, you fed yourself that spoonful of cereal that has been calling you since you heard the man come down. Finishing your bowl, you walked to the sink and rinsed your bowl before putting it on the drying rack, as you were about to grab the cereal box on the table, at the same time as your mother came in the line of your vision. Looking perfect in her tight black skirt, white blouse that was practically translucent and heels clacking every time she took a step

"Glad to see you made food for yourself... if you call that food" Your mother judged knowing that you had the same cereal every morning. You scowled at her form but couldn't form a comeback since she was, in fact, your mother. "I will be working late tonight, here's a 20, buy yourself pizza or something" your mother sighed before looking at herself in the mirror in the hallway by the kitchen putting on her favorite red lipstick. 

"Shocker" You mumble, putting the money in your pocket

"Excuse me?" Your mother whipped around, glaring 

"Nothing" You quickly say, giving her your best fake smile, trying not to get into trouble this early in the morning. She made a noise of approval before saying her goodbyes and leaving the house. She didn't even ask you if you saw the man and if you were okay, but that doesn't matter anymore to you, you learned long ago that she doesn't care for you as a mother should, you gave up trying to fix the relationship that you used to have with her when your father passed. You were only 12 years old when your mother abandoned you and instead paid attention to the many men in her bed. 

You had a few days to relax before heading back to school so you decided to sit back on the couch and watch the highlights of past soccer games. Screaming every time they get a goal, or crying when an emotional moment had happened, you have watched this video so many times but can't help getting excited every time. Sitting around for a few hours, sending a few texts to your best friend Namjoon you were bored out of your mind. You wanted to see Jae but he was busy with soccer practices all day. 

All of a sudden you get a phone call, seeing who was calling you made your smile appear on your face, quickly answering on the second ring. You had both talked for a total of five minutes, him stating he wanted to take you out to see a movie, and that he was going to pick you up in around 15 minutes or so. Quickly getting up and running up the stairs since you didn't have as much time as you like, you opened your door and started rummaging through your clothes to find the perfect outfit. In the end, you decided on a cute grey cropped knitted sweater with a bow on the back and a pair of tight dark blue jeans, you paired the outfit with some white converse. Just as you were looking over your appearance in the mirror in the bathroom, nicely messing up your hair you got a text, saying Jae was here. You squealed and sprinted out of your room, making sure to grab your purse and keys before you locked the door and walked into his car

"Hey, babe" Jae smiled, leaning in for a kiss, you turned your head slightly so his lips hit your cheek instead, you let out a breathy laugh when you looked at him again as Jae leaned back, getting comfortable in his seat, sighing. 

you greeted him back 

"Hey, so why the movies so early?" You asked, questioning his actions with a raised eyebrow and arms crossed over your chest, he didn't usually take you out much, preferred to hang out in the comforts of his home. You noticed his attention divert at your exposed chest making you put your hands down on your lap to try and hide them again

Jae looked back at your eyes and smirked: "What, I can't take my girlfriend to the movies anytime I please?" You rolled your eyes at his playfulness, hitting his arm as you giggled. He leaned in and captured your lips in a kiss, you parted your lips and kissed him back right away, gaining confidence he deepened the kiss by putting his hand on the back of your head, grabbing onto your hair, his other hand landed on your waist, playing with the hem of your shirt threatening to pull it up. You heart hammered and your breathing became uneven, putting your hands on his chest you muttered a quick 'stop' before pulling away. You could feel the disappointment radiating off of the man beside you which made you turn away from him and looked out the window at the passing houses. After a good ten minutes or so you made it to the movie theatre.

So, what are we watching..?" Crossing your hands behind your back as you smiled at him, you moved back and forth between the balls of your feet and your toes, trying to make the air a bit less tense.

"I know you love the whole romance jazz so I thought you'd appreciate if we watch 'Mood of The Day'" Jae winked at you before walking ahead to pay for the tickets. You frowned. You were more into the whole 'horror' 'thriller' type of vibe. Maybe he just wanted to watch this movie and didn't want to admit it. Shaking your head you ran up to your boyfriend just as he had paid for the two tickets. Finding a seat near the back you both sat down, as soon as the movie started and the lights went down you felt Jae's hand on your knee, you leaned into his shoulder and sighed in content, honestly, the movie was kind of boring, you didn't find the whole romantic topic as the most exciting but kept watching for the sake of your boyfriend, he kept his hands on your knee for a while before moving it upwards, you didn't mind until he touched your inner thigh, very close to your core. You tensed up, stomach doing flips you starting breathing unevenly again. Jae took your reactions positively as he kept moving upwards until he cupped your most intimate parts. You gasped and shot up in your seat, earning a few glares and 'shush's' from the people around you, you darted out of your seat and ran to the bathroom. Thankfully there was nobody inside. Putting your hands in the cold water, you put them to your face to cool off, sighing as you felt the cold water touch your heated skin. He hasn't been that forward with you in a while and it really shocked you, especially since you were in public. You heard the bathroom door open and shut loudly making you jump, you turned around and shouted

"Jae, you can't be in here!" you exclaimed trying to grab him, putting your hands on his chest to try and  push him out of the woman's bathroom

"Why? It's not like we're going to do anything in here, Virgin Mary" He looked annoyed, putting his hand over his face and rubbing it. You gaped at him, your eyes were wide when you stared at him, you didn't expect him to say something like that to you. He never said anything so hurtful, tears formed in your eyes as your breaths became shallow. You wouldn't cry in front of him. You promised yourself long ago that no man was ever going to see your tears. Not after what you have been through. You put your hands by your sides and moved backward distancing yourself with him, moving deeper into the bathroom. You knew that this was going to happen, you always hoped that you were wrong and that he was okay with you being abstinent for the duration of your relationship. You hoped he would understand and be patient with you, but you weren't an idiot, you could see how he acted when you wouldn't give yourself to him. All of the disappointment in his eyes, and the way he acts so coldly afterward. You just needed more time. You thought that he would wait for you, be there for you. But you guessed wrong. Like always. 

"W-Wh-?" 

"I don't understand why we can't just have sex, everyone in our grade has had it and you had been blue balling me for two fucking years now. Why can't you do just one thing for me and let me have some fun" Jae had his arms in front of him, waving them around as it would help him in his argument. "I mean, I've shown you how much I wanted to sleep with you for over a year now and you aren't getting the hint. This relationship is seriously becoming a chore" Noticing your lack of response, and shaking form he continued  "You know what it doesn't matter, I've been fucking any girl that would give herself to me since you wouldn't do it yourself"

This isn't real, you were happy, you were sure of it. Yeah, you both fought but what couple doesn't? "How long?" You finally muttered after a couple of minutes of intense staring at one another

"What?" 

"How long have you been fucking these women? How long did I waste my time?"

"Since last year, I gave you a full year to make yourself comfortable but I guess there was no point in me waiting anymore" You nodded, feeling your hands shake from the anger. You watched him walk out of the bathroom, leaving a loud 'bang' from the door making you flinch. You stand there watching the door where your now ex-boyfriend stormed out of. You closed your eyes and breathed in and out slowly, trying to regain your composure. This was not how you planned your evening. 

Jae had left you at the movie theatre on your own and so you had to walk all the way home on foot. You felt utterly humiliated and miserable. As soon as you walked into the house you saw a bra on the couch along with a man’s shirt and jeans. You shuddered in disgust. 

"It is way too early for this shit" You mutter. you stomped upstairs making sure to make a lot of noise so your mom and her new lover can keep it down, which never ends up happening. You walked up to your room and collapsed on your bed. You put your head into your pillow and cried out silently. Hearing the banging on the wall from the bed from your mother's room, sighing you put on your headphones and put some comforting music before laying down fully after making sure your room was locked

Since it was only the afternoon by the time you came home from the movie theatre, you spent all day sitting around your room, cleaning, crying, and sleeping, making sure to keep your headphones on as to not hear disturbing sounds. By the time it was nine o clock you were passed out, waiting for the first day of school.

Please like and comment, I gain motivation/inspiration from all of the support!

Hope you liked it!

[letarasstuff]

Breakups and red Dresses

I hope u like it :)

"I just want someone to hold me. Someone, who whispers into my ear, that everything is going to be alright. Just one person, who gets me out of my panic ridden mind. But I ask for too much, obviously", I tell her while grabbing my suitcase. Tamara just stands there. Her mouth is wide open and her eyes show the shock she's in.

"Rob-Robin. You are my Sweetheart. We-we are destined for each bother. That's what I know now. I know, that we are perfect for one another", she tries to speak to me. But I'm not having anything of this. I grab my yellow coat and say to her: "Tamara. I loved you. Deeply. And of course I still do. Now this, this isn't right. You hurt me more than once and I forgave you every time. It-it's, I can't anymore. Every night, when you are late or aren't home I think you are with some other girl. And it destroys me. I can't continue a toxic relationship like this. I-I tried to make it work, but both of us have to put effort in it. And yours were always absent." With a sigh I go out of the door into the hallway of our apartment complex. My now ex-girlfriend cries and screams for me to stay. That we can make it work and that it was some stupid mistake.

Without turning around I make my way to the car, holding back any tears. I don't know how, but I drive to my brother's apartment without causing any accident.

A little while later I stand breathlessly in front of his door, ringing the bell. "Hey little sis, i just wanted to cal- what the", he says after opening the door and me throwing my body into his arms. I cry so hard, that all my breath is taken away. "No no no", realizes Ryan the situation and leads me into living room. After placing me on the couch he kneels in front of me and takes both of my hands in his own big ones.

"Robin, I need you to focus on my voice", my brother speaks in a calm manner, "Everything is going to be okay as long as you try to breath normal. Let us do some breathing exercises. Take all the air in like this" and so on. Together we steady me breathing again.

After sitting next to each other in silence, Ryan breaks it: "What happened? Why do you show up in the middle of the afternoon on a Friday, having nearly a panic attack and tears streaming down your cheeks?"

I shift uncomfortable in my seat. "Tamara and I broke up. No, I broke up with her. She cheated on me. Again", I respond without any emotion evident in my way of talking. But inside of me finds a battle its place. My heart wants to drive back to her and hug her forever and forget anything, that happened. My head is against it and wants us to be safe knowing a place, where we can't get hurt aka my brother's arm.

After a short span of another silence he asks: "What do you mean? Again?! Why didn't you tell me earlier?! I would have paid her a visit she would never forget." "I thought we could get back on track. It was the fourth time her being with another woman. I guess I kinda thought she can change. But I was wrong. She hurt me so much, Ryan. And I still love her so much." The last part is only a whisper.

While pulling me back into a hug, the boy responds: "You know what? This is a heartbreak emergency. I'll to call the Big Guy. He'll pick up ice cream on his way here, while I put in the loudest and most stupid action film we have. And you will take a nice and hot bath to relax. Then we stuff our faces with all the stuff, that mom would never allow, because of all the greasiness. Are you in or are you in?"

Smiling I nod my head. Another hour later I lie between the bois in one of Shane's gigantic hoodie, muffling on a family sized bag of chips and putting one spoon full of ice cream after another in my mouth. The TV plays Sharknado on full volume. I feel like a sandwich, being squeezed like this on both sides by two grown men. But I'm a happy sandwich, that feels loved. This is clearly everything that matters now.

*Time skip*

After another night, which consisted out of crying, turning and tossing around and giving up on sleep I sit in the kitchen. A cup of coffee in the one hand and a pen in the other.

And here I am, sitting in my brother's apartment at the age of 23, a broken heart in my chest and a voice in my head shouting at me for being dump enough to let this all happen.

"Morning", startles me Ryan's sleepy voice. I just nod and point at the coffee, which is already brewed. "You are an angel, sis", he answers my silent gesture and kisses my cheek. I continue looking at the wall and doesn't acknowledge the situation. Sighing he pours himself a cup of the brownish gold. Then he takes a seat opposite of me.

"I know", he begins, "Breakups suck. Also it's totally normal to be this heartbroken. But you can't stay like this forever. Robin, out there are other mothers with beautiful children. You have to stop burying yourself in self pity. Go out and meet new people. Maybe you meet your significant other today. But you'll miss it out, if you don't leave the house."

I stay silent. You're not ready for this, tells me my head.

Suddenly Ryan gets up and leaves the kitchen. I can hear him talking to someone faintly, he is probably on the phone. I'm still focused on the wall and the loud thoughts inside of me.

After some time, which felt like an eternity but was in reality not more than five minutes, my big brother reenters the room and announces: "Sara and Marielle will be here in half an hour. You have enough time to make yourself somewhat presentable. Then you'll go out with them and have a long and nice girl's day, even though you have enough of women. When you are back home, you'll pack some stuff and come with me and Shane to hunt some ghouls. You don't have a choice, so get ready or else our girlfriends take you with them in the clothes you are right now." It's more a command than a suggestion. Reluctantly I get up and drag myself into the bathroom. In the mirror I see a shadow of that, what should be Robin Bergara actually.

Her bright and shining eyes are dull and swollen from crying. The dark hair is matted and looks like it hadn't been washed in years. Seems like I need more a restoration than just a shower to look like my old self again.

Exactly 20 minutes later I smell and look nice again.

Dressed in a baggy sweater and black jeans I go back into the kitchen. There already are Sara, Marielle and Shane, greeting me with pity in their eyes. The girls get up immediately and hug me, while telling me that Tamara is stupid for letting me go and doing something like this. I just give them a nod. I don't have the nerves for talking about my ex right now.

After what felt like days strolling through store after store and mall after mall we sit down in a cute little coffe shop. Our bags need much more room then we do actually. But I feel better. Being back in the real world is what I really needed.

"Soo", makes Sara after we got our orders, "Now that you are single, you can enjoy all the advantages of it." "Or do you have someone else on your mind already?" adds Marielle. I just shake me head and answer: "Nah. You know, when people go through a breakup and they say, that they are now gay to protect themselves? I think that I just give up swinging for anybody and be straight. When I look at you, it seems to be more painless." Then we start laughing. We can't stop. When look at each other, we break out laughing again. Even though it's not that funny.

*Time skip*

Jet lagged I drag myself through the airport somewhere in the east coast. Shane leads the group, due to him doing long steps, for which i have to do three of mine. Last but not least are Ryan and I in the middle walks the crew.

"Now we've landed in D.C. and are on our way to the hotel. Do you wanna say something, Robin?" asks Ryan while he practically shoves his phone in my face. I just mumbled something like: "Let me be or the ghosts are your smallest problem tonight." "There you have it. She is a monster and not a sweet innocent angel", he laughs into the camera. Then my brother uploads the video on his Instagram story.

After slinging his arm around my shoulders he says: "I'm happy, that you are finally able to come to one of our investigations. It's gonna be fun!" "Well, I'm not here on my own free will. But we better find some ghouls tonight or I spray the Big Guy with holy water to show everyone that he is a demon."

"Hey! Can you be any slower? I feel like walking around with my grandmother", complains Shane. I respond: "If you carry me we would be way faster." Before I am able to comprehend it, I'm thrown over Shane's shoulder, my legs next to his face. "Stay still. I don't wanna explain to the fans that I have bruises in my beautiful face because of you."

After a nice and relaxing nap we are on our way to the haunted location. "So this", begins my brother, "is an old uh yeah, an old bordello." Shocked I look at him. "You aren't serious, are you?" He shifts uncomfortable and scratches his neck: "Well, this is real." "Oh man, I waited for so long to be finally able to hunt some nice and slutty ghoul prostitutes", says Shane enthusiastically.

*Time skip*

"Now we are going to try luring some ghost out of their hiding. We wanna make them comfortable. That's why someone has to dress, right for this establishment. So the ghosts think that they are still alive and are more willing to show themselves", tells Ryan his wonderful and smart idea. It's needless to say, that I am the chosen one.

Very uncomfortable I come back dressed in a veeeery short and revealing red dress.

My two ghoul bois see how awkward I feel. "OK, we don't do this. Go back and put your sweater on. Shane, you go and be the fake prostitute."

I hear a faint "YESSSS! I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE THE FAKE PROSTITUTE! It's my time to shine!" while heading back to change.

And oh boy, he does shine in the dress.

[oohfluffy]

DDND Ch.11 | KJI

Group: EXO

Member: Kim Jongin

Theme: Fluff | Dancer!AU | Dormmmate!AU

Word Count: 1,725

❀ Chapter 11: Not Yours ❀

"Hi."

You awkwardly waved at the unfamiliar boys in front of you as you opened your door. They both stopped walking ahead as they looked at you as if you were a ghost or something.

"OH! You're awake already. I forgot to tell you about these two new tenants!" Your aunt suddenly appeared behind them with a huge grin. You eyed her suspiciously as you raised an eyebrow at her.

"Boys, please introduce yourselves to noona~" She sang as she winked at you.

"Annyeonghasseyo, noona. I'm Yoon Sanha, 17 years old. I hope we can get closer~" A very tall but cute-faced boy said as he smiled down at you.

Wow. I feel like an ant right now. He's 17 and this tall, while I'm 22 and still... this small.

"I'm Cha Eunwoo, 20 years old. It's nice meeting you, noona." A bright-looking (literally) pretty boy said and bowed slightly.

This guy is prettier than me. His looks is making my self-esteem drop drastically.

You were just staring at them like you've seen stars when your aunt snapped her fingers in front of you.

"Oh. S-Sorry. I'm Lin, you can just call me noona since you call her ahjumma." You pointed at your aunt and smiled. "Nice meeting you both."

"There we go! They'll be taking the room 2 doors after Kai's." Your aunt told you before looking back at the two boys. "You can go to noona's room if you need any help or go downstairs and knock on my door near the kitchen, alright?"

"Ne!" The young boys answered simultaneously as they nodded like obedient dogs which reminds you...

"I'll be going downstairs. See you around boys." You saluted playfully before closing your door and going downstairs to find your dog.

You walked around the living room, kitchen, dining area, laundry room and even the restroom but the white fluffy ball is nowhere to be found. You scratched the nape of your neck frustratedly.

"Aish. Don't tell me he took a walk by himself again? That's why I don't see that dog often. He's such an emo." You mumbled, wearing your sneakers and decided to take a walk.

It's a Saturday and you don't have additional shifts for the day, so you have a lot of free time. Kai is not around since he has practice in DanWiMu, same with Sehun, and probably won't be back until 6. Joohyuk is busy taking care of his mother that was admitted in the hospital 3 days ago. While Tiffany is on house-duty today since her father went overseas for a meeting. And if you're thinking about your aunt at home, she'll want to spend her whole day talking to the two new babies of her dorm.

That leaves you with no one today. What a sad life.

That's why, Hunnie is the only person-- animal you can spend the day with.

You started to jog towards the playground you always walk Hunnie to, looking around the area and hopefully find your dog.

"Where would that big boy go?" You muttered as you continued to jog around the playground, seeing kids run and play.

"MOCHI! COME BACK HERE! YAH!"

You almost laughed as you saw a two familiar girls chasing two small cute Yorkshire Terriers.

"Aren't they the ones who I saw the last time I came here to walk Hunnie?" You thought loudly, chuckling.

You sighed in defeat as you stopped jogging after almost an hour.

"Argh. I feel so wasted. I think I've got flabbies already, making it harder for me to jog." You mumbled to yourself while poking your tummy.

You closed your eyes for a moment before squatting down in exhaustion.

Did he finally leave me? I guess I'm not really a good owner that deserves him.

You've got a lot of doubts with yourself, may it be physically, mentally, spiritually or socially but you always knew what's the real problem with you.

How you can't admit your faults.

"It wasn't my fault I failed that exam!"

"It wasn't my fault I broke that window!"

"It wasn't my fault I kicked that boy's butt!"

"It wasn't my fault...mom died."

You shook your head, trying to throw away your thoughts.

It was my fault.

You suddenly felt the familiar sound a sniffing dog. You quickly opened your eyes and saw it looking up at you as it sat down in front of you.

You must look like an idiot, tearing up in front of a dog.

You knelt down, not breaking the longest eye contact you're having with your dog.

"Yah..." You softly said, Hunnie blinked as he watched you kneel.

"D-Don't walk around without me again, okay? I-I promise I will walk you every weekend. Just don't scare me like this again, please." You talked to it as if it can understand what you are saying.

He's just staring at me. Does that mean something or what?

Your dog just turned its back on you, showing you its adorable butt. Your eyes dimmed as you sighed, looking down as if you lost a battle.

Maybe he's still mad at me.

"Arf!"

Your head shot up as you heard the familiar bark of your dog.

There he was.

Looking back at you, his head turned on the side as if waiting for you.

You laughed like a mad person, making other people's heads turn towards you. As if knowing how to be embarrassed, Hunnie walked ahead, leaving you alone. You stood up in a rush, following your dog with a smile.

You caught up to Hunnie and looked down at him, the same time he looked up at you.

"Let's go home, ne?"

Hunnie wasn't really yours.

This dog is the only remembrance left from your mom.

That's why you cherish him so much as if he's human.

♫ ❧ ♫ ❧ ♫ ❧ ♫ ❧ ♫

"Have you met the two—"

"—young cute boys? Yep."

Kai stopped browsing channels and looked at you, who's currently eating popcorn beside him.

"Young cute boys?" He slowly asked, sounding like a threat. You gulped down the popcorn you chewed and looked back at him.

"Uh, yeah. They're both younger than us."

"Cute?"

"Well, they really are—"

You stopped talking as you find Kai glaring at you.

"What?" You innocently asked and continued eating your beloved popcorn.

When Kai didn't move, you huffed and grabbed the remote control from his grasp.

"That was rude." He muttered, leaning back on the couch.

"You were rude, glaring at me when I'm just enjoying eating my food." You snapped back, changing the channel to Animax and squealing when your favourite anime is on.

"Seriously?" Kai mumbled, stealing popcorn from your bowl. You slapped his hand away but was too late when he popped everything into his mouth with a smirk.

"There's nothing wrong with anime. How dare you question—"

"Then there's something wrong with you."

You growled like an angry dog but ignored him after when Sanha, the younger boy from the new tenants, came in. He looked surprised seeing you and Kai but grinned.

Your mood was suddenly lifted.

"Hey there, pup. How's your stay here?" You happily asked. The young boy was flustered with the nickname you gave but shyly smiled.

"I-It's better than I thought, noona. Aunt Sunny is really friendly and hospitable. The room is wonderful and bigger than our room in our last dorm. T-Thank you for being approachable as well." Sanha said with a soft voice. You giggled like a high school girl but was nudged by the person beside you.

"That's good then. Enjoy your stay here. We'll be good dorm-mates. Right, Kai?" You turned to Kai and he was just staring at you. You shrugged and looked back at the young boy with a smile. "Where are you going anyway?"

"I'll be hanging out with some friends, noona. Eunwoo hyung will probably come later since he's still studying for his exam tomorrow." Santa said as he combed his hair with his fingers.

"Oh, have fun then. Be back before 9 though or else you'll have to climb up the gates like what I almost do everyday." You said, chuckling at his expression. Santa nodded.

"Aunt Sunny told us about it but I wasn't informed about you climbing up the gates, noona."

You laughed, waving him off.

"I'll tell you more next time. Be safe~"

When Sanha went out, you became silent again.

"Pup, huh?"

Kai stood up with a poker face, probably getting it from his best friend, and went upstairs, not even looking back at you.

"What's wrong with that guy?" You mumbled while chewing popcorn and watching TV.

After an hour, Kai went down the stairs.

He just walked passed by the living room without even looking at you. You turned off the television and followed him outside. You saw him opening the gate but before he can get out, you stopped him.

"Yah. Where are you going?" You interrogated him with eyes checking his clothes.

Kai was wearing a maroon sweater that looks so cute on him, black jeans, sneakers and a black cap resting on his soft-looking dark hair.

I wonder if his hair is as soft as it looks like.

Kai looked back at you, his poker face still on.

"Meeting a friend."

"A friend? Who? Sehun?"

"No."

"Then who?"

"You don't know her, so it will be useless to know her name—"

"Her?!"

You put your hand on your mouth, mentally scolding it for being careless.

Did I just shout at him, sounding like a jealous girlfriend? Earth, please swallow me now.

A smirk slowly formed on Kai's lips as you looked around for anything that can possibly help you escape this scary scene.

"Why? Is something wrong having a girl friend?"

You shook your head before looking at him, pulling off your own poker face.

"No. I was just curious since you're all dressed up. I think it's totally normal to dress up gorgeously for your girlfriend."

And then you made your exit.

Or entrance in the dorm.

Kai just stared at the closed door for a while before sighing, getting out of the gate.

"So much for making her jealous."

Obviously, you both were thinking about each other.

It's just that, you're not his and he's not yours.

—

❀ Ch.12

[butididntpourthewhiskeys]

50 Things I’m Convinced Tay & Joe Do - Baby Edition 

1. Taylor smirking at Joe who claims that the air in the doctor’s room is dry which is the reason why his eyes are watering right after they found out that they’re having a girl. 

 2. Joe’s protective hand constantly reaching for her belly at night whenever she’s changing her sleeping position. 

3. Joe opening his Christmas gift from her that was casually placed under the Christmas tree and him becoming incredibly emotional in front of both of their families because inside the little box, there is a positive pregnancy test. 

4. Taylor and Joe only telling their families and closest friends about her pregnancy at first because Taylor’s too scared to miscarry. 

5. Joe replacing all Nespresso capsules in their houses with decaf capsules because he knows how hard it is for her to waive proper coffee. 

6. Taylor developing a weird disgust towards roasted meat yet always attends dinner at Joe’s family and eats the Sunday roast even if most of it lands in the toilet just minutes after they get home. 

7. Joe always telling Tay that his mum won’t be mad if she’d tell her about her meat related nausea but Taylor still swallows the food anyway. 

8. Joe being overprotective, especially on these days when she’s not feeling well and he’s gone for work. So as soon as she doesn’t pick up her phone for a couple of minutes, he’d immediately call Andrea who then has to calm him down with a soft laugh and a gentle “both of your girls are alright, honey. She’s watching TV with me and her phone’s in the kitchen, so don’t worry.” while Taylor would roll her eyes at his protective behavior but deep down knows how incredibly thankful she is for it. 

 9. Scott always teasing Joe with referring to him as “Daddy over there wants some more potatoes, Andrea” or greeting Joe with “Hi Daddy, how’s it going?” whenever they see each other. 

10. Taylor trying to convince him that their daughter needs to have an old classic and British name such as “Hazel” or “Eleanor” and Joe reminding her that she’s giving birth to a baby, not an old lady. 

11. Taylor feeling incredibly maternal at the end of the second trimester and most of the time falling asleep with a pull string musical crib toy on her belly that plays one of her songs (a gift from her fans, of course). 

12. Joe spending at least half an hour cuddled up to her belly and talking to the baby after not having seen Taylor for a couple of days, always kissing the round belly and telling her how sad he is sometimes because Taylor gets to carry the baby around and feel her all day, but he can’t. 

13. Taylor and Joe constantly fighting about her wanting to wear heels tonight, and him getting angry because she could trip and fall. 

14. Taylor being mad at him for an entire day because she thinks that he thinks that she’s too stupid to walk on high heels for the length of one evening. 

 15. Joe figuring out that the only way to deal with her current hormones is to always give in and let her know how sorry he is and how right she was. 

16. Joe constantly finding her asleep at the weirdest places in the house. Once on a stool with head on the kitchen isle, once on the floor in her walk- in closet. 

17. Taylor feeling like a teenager again because she finds herself crying so often whenever he’s gone filming for a couple of days and she misses him badly. 

 18. Taylor being mocked by everyone in her family because she developed the habit to “free the bump” whenever she’s sitting on the patio and a ray of sunshine is crossing the sky. “The baby needs Vitamine D, guys. Shut up.” she’d say, enjoying the warmth on her belly.

19. Joe volunteering in applying cream on her belly to prevent stretch marks every night. 

 20. Taylor having an increased need for sex in the first months and Joe teasing her with it as much as he can, smirking and mumbling a casual “got it out of your system, love? If yes could you please move a bit so I can watch the rest of this movie? Thank you.” after she just came down from the fifth orgasm that day, sitting on his lap and distracting him from watching a movie on the couch in the living room. 

21. “So rude.” she’d mumble and receive a mischievous laugh from him before cuddling up in his arms again. 

22. Joe’s standard joke being “I mean, I was in the room when the baby was conceived to I might as well be in the room when the baby’s delivered” whenever he’s asked wether he’ll be in the delivery room or not and Taylor rolling her eyes every single time, “He thinks he’s so funny, it’s incredible.” 

23. Joe having the shock of his life when Taylor fainted a couple of times during the first weeks of pregnancy because of low blood pressure, which is absolutely normal yet scared the shit out of him. 

24. Joe literally calling her every two hours to remind her to drink water and eat something when she’s at a meeting because he knows that she forgets. 

 25. Joe literally going nuts after some online magazine releases an article calling Taylor “huge and lazy” because she apparently doesn’t work out enough during pregnancy which results in him wanting to sue the media outlet but Taylor calming him down because she doesn’t give a fuck about this kind of stuff anymore. 

26. Taylor feeling her baby kick for the first time when they’re at dinner with her parents and Joe really trying not to be too emotional and become a cry- baby but keeping his hand on her belly for what feels like the entire evening. 

27. Taylor craving nachos with whip cream on top. 

28. Taylor sitting on the examination couch while waiting for her doctor, trying her best to bat Joe’s hands away from the model of a fetus in a womb: “Stop touching it. You’ll break it!” When the small plastic baby pops out of the fake uterus and onto the floor, Joe’s eyes grow wide and she just rolls her eyes while watching him hysterically trying to put the model back together again before the doctor enters the room. 

29. Joe thanking her for carrying his baby and giving him his own little family whenever they both lay awake at night, but the pleasure is all hers. 

30. Taylor hiding her big bump and boobs under oversized sweaters because she’s insecure about her physical changes. 

31. Joe being well aware of her insecurities which makes him comment things like “you’re so stunning, baby. Is that shirt new?” or “you look gorgeous this morning, how’d you sleep?”. 

32. Joe noticing how motherly Taylor has become because of all the hormones in her body. So every time Patrick is joining them on a winter walk she’d remind the boy to fix his scarf because „it’s colder than you think“ and every time Patrick has a cold she’d cook him a chicken soup, even If he didn’t ask for it which is why Joe and him can’t help but tease her constantly by calling her ‚mummy‘. 

33. Taylor being embarrassed as hell for an entire week because her morning sickness was really bad while she and Joe were stuck in traffic and she had to throw up in a plastic bag after mumbling “I don’t want it to happen, I don’t want it to happen” while sitting next to him which resulted in her having vomit in her hair while crying and him calming her with a hand on her leg: “s’ fine, baby. C'mon. Just glad you feel better now.” 

34. Joe’s mum bursting out to tears as she opens her birthday present and finds an ultrasound scan, which automatically makes Tay emotional as well while hugging his mum for more than five minutes straight. 

35. Taylor often having trouble sleeping because she either struggles with immense nausea or her baby being super active. 

37. Joe waking up one night with tears in his eyes because in his dreams he was holding his baby in his arms and he could see what she looks like and smell her and hear her laugh and everything felt so real, which was the most amazing feeling he has ever felt. 

38. Joe noticing how Taylor craves his closeness even more since she’s pregnant which is why he pulls her into a long hug as often as he can or kisses her forehead more often. 

 39. Taylor showing literally everyone she knows her new “trick” that is placing objects on her huge belly like a tray. 

40. Joe counting all ten toes and all ten fingers on the baby, first thing: “just want to make sure you’ll be able to write some songs. Or make action movies..“ he’d mumble towards the baby, making Taylor laugh from afar. 

 41. Baby Alwyn- Swift having all of Taylor’s features, blonde curls included, but Joe’s lips and his rather introvert personality. 

 42. Joe holding the baby in front of Taylor’s tummy and mumbling a sleepy “we’ll have to put you back in there again if you don’t sleep, love. m’ warning you. The nights were a lot quieter with you in there.” which makes Taylor laugh and the baby stare at him confused before receiving a laugh and a small kiss from her dad. 

43. Taylor announcing the birth of her baby on Instagram with posting a black and white photo of Joe kissing tiny baby feet and the caption “Never felt so blessed in my life. Thanks for all the congratulations and kind messages.” 

44. Joe pretending to eat the baby’s foot or hand which always makes the little one laugh and Taylor as well. 

45. Taylor posting a boomerang on Instagram for fathers day that shows Joe blowing raspberries on the baby’s stomach with a smile on his face and captioning it with “you have changed my heart forever. Happy Father’s Day.” 

46. Joe already spoiling his little girl when she’s just a little toddler and Taylor really not liking it: “He can’t say no. Never. Now she’s just a baby but if he keeps that up our child will be a spoilt rat in a few years” she’d complain to her mom. 

47. Joe surprising Taylor with a vacation to the Bahamas because the baby hasn’t been sleeping at all in weeks and they both wander around like ghosts all day long which is why they both urgently need some relaxation away from London and Nashville.

48. Joe realizing that his baby daughter has a miniature version of his lips which is why he always holds her tiny face right next to his for comparison when they’re with friends and family. 

49. Joe giving the newborn on his arm a tour around their house when both of their parents came over for a first visit at home. He’d stop with her on his arms in the bedroom and mumble “..and this is where you were made, my love” which results in her family’s laughter and an embarrassed Taylor yelling “oh my god, Joseph. You are unbelievable.” 

50. Joe teaching his little girl how to give kisses and always claps his hands to cheer on her whenever her lips made the right move to meet his. After some time, the baby girl loves to give her daddy wet kisses and afterwards automatically claps her little hands as well which makes Joe and Taylor burst out in laughter every time.

[betelgeusessonajblog]

I shall be a dick cause I love you 😜💕 1 - 150

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

AJ: Raph

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

AJ: Outgoing

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

AJ: Raph, duh he’s everything.

4. Are you easy to get along with?

AJ: Nah, not really haha

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

AJ: Obviously he would

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

AJ: Tough but caring, smart, funny, can pick me up when I’m down.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

AJ: Without a doubt *holds up hand with wedding ring on it* 

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

AJ: Raven….I wanna save her…

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

AJ:…HAHAHAHAHA!!!! no

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

AJ:…Raph.

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

AJ:….Uuum….it’s just an ass pic I sent Raph before he ran into our room and fucked me senseless

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

AJ: Don’t have a 5 fave songs tbh

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

AJ:…I…is my spikes hair….? cause no one touches them 

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

AJ: Yep

15. What good thing happened this summer?

AJ: Since this is 2020 and Summer hasn’t happened yet I’m gonna say last year’s summer was good. Lots happened though

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

AJ: That’s my husband so yes17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

AJ; Yes, I have an Alien son18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

AJ: Brock? Eh not since a huge fight me and Raph got into

19. Do you like bubble baths?

AJ: Never tried them I don’t think

20. Do you like your neighbors?

AJ: Me and, Raph live away from people so

21. What are you bad habits?

AJ: God….um…shit I know I have a lot but I’m struggling to figure it out22. Where would you like to travel?

AJ: I like travelling so yeah23. Do you have trust issues?

AJ; Not really just depends24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

AJ: Breakfast with Raph, it’s fun talking.25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

AJ:….my…scars…26. What do you do when you wake up?

AJ: Depends its usually Afternoon or some times morning27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

AJ: I’m monochrome, I’d like different scale colours

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

AJ: Raph29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

AJ: No, Brock never said that once

30. Do you ever want to get married?

AJ: ALREADY AM!31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?

AJ:…No hair32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

AJ: Don’t know33. Spell your name with your chin.

AJ:…Bite me bambi34. Do you play sports? What sports?

AJ: Mostly Martial arts stuff35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

AJ: Ugh…neither36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

AJ: One guy years back but I didn’t know my sexuality then so…

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

AJ:…Nothing really just…38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

AJ: Raph39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

AJ: I don’t really have a fave store to go to40. What do you want to do after high school?

AJ: I went to MU and that was a disaster41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

AJ: Some do…42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

AJ: I’m thinking of something or i’m too down to talk43. Do you smile at strangers?

AJ: Not really no44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

AJ: Been in space45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

AJ: Raph, without a doubt46. What are you paranoid about?

AJ: Fucking things up with my family

47. Have you ever been high?

AJ: No48. Have you ever been drunk?

AJ: Repeatedly49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

AJ: Nope50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

AJ: Dark red51. Ever wished you were someone else?

AJ: For years I always did52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

AJ: No scars….53. Favourite makeup brand?

AJ: Don’t use make up54. Favourite store?

AJ: None55. Favourite blog?

(Mun one: @thelostandforgottenangel cause she’s awesome56. Favourite colour?

AJ: Red57. Favourite food?

AJ: Hmm…Spaghetti58. Last thing you ate?

AJ: Raph’s ass *Sticks tongue out*59. First thing you ate this morning?

AJ: Cereal60. Ever won a competition? For what?

AJ: never61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

AJ: ALMOST got Suspended/Expelled62. Been arrested? For what?

AJ: Nope luckily63. Ever been in love?

AJ: Currently in love with the man of my dreams64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

AJ: God…that was way back in College me and Brock were talking then…we kissed after admitting we liked each other65. Are you hungry right now?

AJ: Nah I’m fine66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

//YEP 67. Facebook or Twitter?

Twitter68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Tumblr69. Are you watching tv right now?

AJ: Watching repeats of some old TV Shows70. Names of your bestfriends?

AJ: Besides Raph? Leo, Mikey, Donnie and, Raven71. Craving something? What?

AJ: Raph’s big cock72. What colour are your towels?

AJ: Eh white I think72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

AJ: Three73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

AJ: No, never had that kinda thing74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

AJ: None75. Favourite animal?

//Dog76. What colour is your underwear?

AJ: My jockstrap’s red77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

AJ:…Chocolate78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

AJ: Strawberry79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

AJ: Black80. What colour pants?

AJ: Also Black81. Favourite tv show?

AJ: The Walking Dead82. Favourite movie?

AJ: Rocky Horror Picture Show83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

AJ: Neither84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

AJ: neither85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

AJ: Never seen it don’t wanna86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

AJ: None87. First person you talked to today?

AJ: Raph88. Last person you talked to today?

AJ: Roger89. Name a person you hate?

AJ: My mom90. Name a person you love?

AJ: Raph91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

AJ: My Dad92. In a fight with someone?

AJ: Not currently93. How many sweatpants do you have?

AJ: None94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

AJ: Um one or two95. Last movie you watched?

AJ: one of the Fast and Furious movies, me and Raph watched it last night96. Favourite actress?

AJ: Hmm….too many tbh97. Favourite actor?

AJ: Same as before98. Do you tan a lot?

AJ: Never99. Have any pets?

AJ: a shared pet with Raph, one I bought him100. How are you feeling?

AJ: Tired to be honest101. Do you type fast?

//Yes102. Do you regret anything from your past?

AJ:….people I met in MU….Breaking promises to people103. Can you spell well?

//not really104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

AJ: No105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

AJ: Nope106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

AJ: Yeah Brock’s with breaking my promise to never drink107. Have you ever been on a horse?

AJ: Nope108. What should you be doing?

AJ: Raph~

109. Is something irritating you right now?

AJ: Not being able to help Raven110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

AJ: Raph, without a doubt111. Do you have trust issues?

AJ:…No this was already mentioned before112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

AJ: Raph113. What was your childhood nickname?

AJ….pass on that one114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

AJ: Yep115. Do you play the Wii?

//Yep116. Are you listening to music right now?

AJ: Nothing currently117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

AJ: No118. Do you like Chinese food?

AJ: Nope119. Favourite book?

AJ: Tomorrow When The War Began is one I love120. Are you afraid of the dark?

AJ: No121. Are you mean?

AJ: only when someone pisses me off122. Is cheating ever okay?

AJ: Never okay EVER123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

AJ: I don’t wear shoes124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

AJ: Kinda yeah125. Do you believe in true love?

AJ: I have that with Raph126. Are you currently bored?

AJ: Yeeeep127. What makes you happy?

AJ: My family128. Would you change your name?

AJ: Nah129. What your zodiac sign?

Libra130. Do you like subway?

AJ: Nope131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

AJ: Turn them down 132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

AJ…I Already said RAPH133. Favourite lyrics right now?

AJ: Don’t have any134. Can you count to one million?

AJ: Never had to135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

AJ:….too many tbh136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

AJ: Depends tbh137. How tall are you?

AJ: 6′6138. Curly or Straight hair?

AJ: Don’t have hair so139. Brunette or Blonde?140. Summer or Winter?

AJ: Summer141. Night or Day?

AJ: Night142. Favourite month?

AJ: Dunno143. Are you a vegetarian?

AJ: Nope144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

AJ: Doesn’t matter145. Tea or Coffee?

AJ: *Shrugs*146. Was today a good day?

AJ: Kinda147. Mars or Snickers?

AJ: Mars148. What’s your favourite quote?

Limits are meant to be overcome

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

AJ: I am one

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

AJ:…Spell shit

[gillywulf]

Roman Holiday

AO3

Summary: The bird may love the fish, but where would they live?

or

Clarke and Lexa live very different lives and still find a way to fall in love with each other.

~~~

The night was a rare mix of chilly and clear that needed to be taken advantage of. Usually, when it came towards the end of May, the skies opened up and drowned the land in sudden and destructive rainfall. And yet all the pair in the truck bed needed was a tattered old blanket that Lexa kept rolled up in the toolbox for just such occasions. With their shoulders pressed together and the blanket covering their legs, they were almost cozy.

Clarke lived for it.

Nothing in the world made her happier than stargazing with her best friend the night before a tour. It was the moment she thought about when she was on stage in front of 20 thousand people. All of those people shouting her words back for her like they were tattooed on their hearts and her brain could only flash back to this truck bed with this girl and this sky.

A hand nudged hers in the limited space between their bodies.

“Are you ready for tomorrow?” The rumble of Lexa’s voice might have startled her if not for the small movement before it, but it didn’t mean she wasn’t caught off guard anyway. Lexa had a habit of doing that. She responded with a soft hum.

“I think so. I’ve got all my clean underwear packed,” she grinned at the laugh that floated through the empty air around them and felt her heart grow with affection.

“Good to know. You have to make sure you can go as long as possible without doing laundry,” Lexa joked. “but really, it’s a big tour. A long one. I know you can handle the shows and I know you will be okay with the travel, but I worry.” Clarke turned and found Lexa already looking at her.

It was moments like this that made her feelings hard to swallow. Lexa cared so much about her and she always cared about the right things. How could Clarke be anything but disastrously in love with her? But how could she tell her either? Lexa loved the overgrown, back roads life of their half-empty hometown and Clarke loved visiting a new bustling city every night, strange encounters, and finding her face on magazine counters at checkout (they were always full of preposterous things like who she was dating, as if she would date anyone without green eyes and wild brown hair). Her smile was soft as she laced her fingers with Lexa’s.

“I’ll be okay, I promise. And if I’m not, I know who to call,” she answered. Lexa nodded and gave her hand a soft squeeze.

“My only price is a picture of you and J-Lo.” Clarke burst into laughter.

~

Lexa pulled as far forward as the narrow driveway would allow her and cut the engine. She could see the client through the windshield - a middle aged woman who definitely would over-direct this delivery - and sighed. Most days she liked her job, but that didn’t niggling dissatisfaction every time she saw Raven post about a new project, or Octavia’s expanding personal training work, much less reviews for Clarke’s upcoming album in Entertainment Weekly. She was happy her friends were doing things they loved, she just wished she was too.

She followed her partner out of the truck and approached the woman with a smile and her clipboard.

“Good morning, are you-”

“You were supposed to be here an hour ago. Now I’m going to be late to pick up the cake for my son’s birthday party because you couldn’t get here yesterday,” Lexa felt her smile deflate.

“I apologize for the delay ma’am, we work as hard as we can to keep close to the schedule. If you sign here to confirm we are delivering the right product, we will get out of your way as soon as we can.” The woman signed with a huff and Lexa moved around to the back of the truck where she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. Lincoln was till unstrapping the oven on the pallet so she took the chance to unlock her phone. Her face stretched into an immediate grin.

“Clarke?” Her gaze shot up from her phone to meet her partner’s amused eyes. She nodded, her cheeks growing hot. With one last look at Clarke’s selfie with J-lo, she locked her phone again and set about helping Lincoln unload the new appliance.

~

“You know she’s like desperately in love with you, right?” Lexa collapsed against the table in a coughing fit, her eyes trained on Anya.

“What?” she rasped out. Anya gestured to the bar TV where Clarke’s newest music video played, the sound drowned out by the DJ’s party music. Scantily clad and radiating unbridled confidence, the blond was a force of nature and impossible for Lexa to ignore, in-person or otherwise.

“Yeah, she’s been in love you since like, sophmore year of high school. All her songs are about you. Did you not know this? You guys knew that, right?” She looked to Octavia and Raven for backup and found them already nodding casually.

“Oh yeah”

“I think literally everyone knew”

Lexa blinked between them, dazed.

“What- no, she writes about  guys. Why would she want me? I’m nobody,” Octavia barked a laugh and swiftly drowned it in her bottle of beer. She only caught the tail end of Raven’s eye roll.

“She writes about guys because it’s more commercially viable and she’s not out publicly, so, you know. But also you’ve been her best friend forever, you’re hardly ‘nobody’ to her, don’t be stupid,” This was the first night that none of them had to work late in almost a month and Lexa was beginning to regret coming.

“I mean you had to suspect. She’s not exactly subtle,” Anya had turned her whole stool to face Lexa, her eyes narrowed in disbelief. The scrutiny began to make the heat rise under Lexa’s collar. She had to find a way out of the interrogation. “Wait,” her blood ran cold, “you like her too.” Her hand came up to shield her rapidly reddening face.

“No, I-”

“Oh my god”

“Holy shit”

“Lexa-”

“Have a good night, I have to be up early tomorrow. You know, a lot of deliveries,” Lexa slipped off her stool and stalked towards the door, careful not to look any of them in the eye.

“Wait, Lex-” She was out the door before she could catch the rest of the sentence.

It was almost five full blocks before her heart stopped beating directly in her eardrums and her breathing slowed enough for her to take stock of her surroundings. Downtown was small enough that she was already out of any populated areas and she kept walking until she reached the empty field she and Clarke parked her truck only a couple of weeks before.

She let herself get lost in the stars for an hour before pulling out her phone.

“Hey, is something wrong?” The roughness of Clarke’s voice both calmed and excited her. It was so easy to picture her curled up on the sofa of her tour bus, fresh from a shower and wrapped in some comfy sweater. She smiled at the image.

“No, everything’s good. I just wanted to say hi. I saw your new video,”

“Oh yeah?” The smile in her voice peaked out and Lexa stopped holding back her own.

~

The sun was dead above and beating down harshly against the back of Lexa’s neck. She had felt the moisture in her shirt for almost 2 hours, but she wasn’t going to move from her perch on the roof of her truck.

Octavia had strewn herself across the back seat of the cab and Raven and Anya were bickering as they attempted to construct some sort of awning over the bed. Lexa was sure Anya was just sabotaging it to spend more time with Raven, but decided that wasn’t her business.

Mercifully, no one had brought up the night at the bar two months before. She didn’t know what she would even say to them. Admitting it was certainly out of the question, but she wasn’t about to lie and deny it either. Ideally it would just stay a moot point.

“Girls, does anyone want a drink? It’s hot out today,” Dr. Griffin called from her front porch. Lexa’s truck was parked right next to the house where there had been shade earlier that morning. A chorus of ‘yes, pleases’ sounded from the group and Clarke’s mom disappeared with a smile.

Clarke was late, but the two hour radius around their town was a dead zone on their network, so there was no real way for them to know when she got close until they saw a trail of dust up the road. Lexa’s eyes were locked to the spot where she knew the bus would first appear.

Raven must have gotten fed up with Anya’s meddling because the lanky woman was clambering up onto the roof with her.

“Scooch,” Anya dug and elbow into her side until Lexa shuffled over with a huff. “Do you think you’ll tell her?” she asked softly a minute later.

“There’s nothing to tell. Whatever I do or don’t feel won’t change anything,” Was that the bus or just another car?

“You don’t know that for sure,” Lexa hummed and frowned at the shape of the minivan that drove into the driveway down the street.

“It’s too late anyway. Ten years is a lot of time to get over someone,” That was a big cloud. That had to be it.

“It’s also a lot of time to feel more for someone.” Lexa stood as the bus came into view.

“Bird and the fish, An,” Lexa was only dimly aware of Anya’s heavy sigh as she hopped down to the ground  as the bus began to pull up to the house. Dr. Griffin came back outside, drinks forgotten and eyes glued to the door of the bus. They didn’t have to wait long before Clarke burst out of the door and threw her arms around her mother. It was barely a second later that was instead threw herself around Lexa, holding her as tight as her strength would allow. Lexa returned it easily and pressed her face into Clarke’s hair.

“Welcome home,” she murmured.

~

The stars were different from the last time they were there together, but to Lexa, who could hardly string together a constellation on the best of nights, they looked the same. There was comfort in that. An assurance that things could stay the same, no matter what happened. There was a chance that she could always end up here, Clarke in her truck and the stars above them. She wanted that more than anything.

“You should come with me,” Lexa was sure she heard wrong until Clarke spoke again. “It doesn’t have  to be tomorrow, I know traveling the country is a big thing. But one day, I’d like to do it with you,” Clarke wasn’t looking at her, instead she focused on the expanse above and Lexa couldn’t blame her. Words wouldn’t come and there wasn’t any she could even think of.

~

“Clarke?” Lexa answered the phone as she slammed the truck door shut. She ignored Lincoln climbing in to the passenger seat with a raised eyebrow.

“Are you busy this week?” Clarke’s voice sounded shaky and Lexa hated the way it made her jaw clench in fear. Had something happened?

“Besides work, no. What do you need?” she asked. A sigh traveled through the phone.

“I need a vacation. But if you have work, I don’t want you to get in trouble” Clarke mumbled. Lexa’s answer was immediately obvious.

“Hey, do you remember that night you convinced me to sneak into the community pool with you?”

“And we had to run from the cops almost naked? Of course,” Clarke laughed.

“Good. I’ll call you in an hour, okay?” She turned the engine and pulled her seat belt across her body.

“Sure. Oh, and Lex?” Lexa paused.

“Yeah?”

“I miss you,” Her heart clenched.

“I miss you too, I’ll call you back,” She closed the call and moved the massive truck into reverse. “Lincoln, I’m supremely sorry, but I’m driving back to the garage and quitting.” To her surprise, he only laughed.

“Going to rescue your girl?” he asked, giving her shoulder a hearty pat. Lexa grinned, but didn’t respond.

~

Lexa tried not to spend the entire two plane rides worrying about how she was going to get a new job. She ran through the list of possibilities in her head and wrote down a list of the top contenders. The list was underwhelming. With a sigh, she turned her head to look out of the small window and watched as the ground came closer and closer. The last minute cross country flight certainly didn’t help relax her money fears either.

But really it was unimportant. Her boss had been furious and begged her to stay on, but also vehemently refused her a week and a half off to see her friend because they had a schedule they needed to adhere to. So she walked out and could only think about where Clarke wanted to disappear. If there was something Clarke wanted, Lexa was not going to be the one to deny her.

Which meant the tiny Sacramento airport was a bit of a surprise. From the window, Lexa could see the whole thing, small and compact in comparison to Philadelphia International or JFK. She could even see the empty grasslands stretching out for miles around it.

The inside of the airport wasn’t much more exciting. Many of the gates were either entirely empty or halfway there. Lexa shrugged through the early morning haze and made her way down to the baggage claim where Clarke said a car would be waiting. She was barely out on the curb before a body crashed into hers and wrapped her up in a tangle of limbs.

“You’re here!” The familiar raspiness of Clarke’s voice in her ear relaxed her instantly and she dropped her duffel to return the embrace.

“I said I would be,” she laughed, feeling Clarke’s legs fall back to the ground from around her hips. The blond pulled back just enough to take Lexa’s face in her hands and grin.

“And you always keep your promises. C’mon, let’s get on the road,” She grabbed Lexa’s discarded duffel and threw it into the backseat of the closest parked car before swinging around to the drivers’ seat. Lexa let Clarke ramble for almost an hour before asking.

“So I have to ask, why the sudden get away?” She watched Clarke press her lips into a firm line, “you don’t have to tell me, but it might help to talk about to someone who is really removed from the situation,” she said, keeping her eyes on her best friend. The silence was short lived (though palpable, as Clarke had been so excited to get on the road she hadn’t even turned the radio on) as the right words were pulled from her brain.

“I wanted to come out and all of my reps think it’s a bad idea,” Lexa frowned, “they think if I’d started my career that way, it’d be one thing, but my sales will take a hit now that I’m established.”

“Do you agree?”

“No. I mean, yeah, I’m sure there will be some backlash, but I’ve done well enough and built a fanbase that I think will welcome it. It’s not like I don’t bring rainbow flags on stage all the time as it is. I just want to write about girls sometimes too, you know? Maybe there’s a girl where a guy would be in a video. Little things that shouldn’t mean anything, but would let me be more honest,” Clarke gushed and sighed heavily. “I’m just tired of pretending.”

Lexa took in the defeated way Clarke slouched in her seat, how she seemed smaller than she knew she was. She knew her friend to be larger than life and this was not acceptable. How dare anyone tell her to hide parts of herself?

“There was a girl at a show a few months ago and she was telling me about how the new album gave her the courage to come out to her family and all I could do was nod and brush off just how much that meant to me,” she huffed, letting her hands collapse into her lap. Lexa chewed on her next words.

“So do it anyway,” Clarke’s eyes swiveled between her and the road.

“What?”

“You employ these people to manage your career, right? This is their job. Be you and let the rest fall where it may,” she shrugged. She worried for a long moment that what she’d said was totally incorrect for the situation. What was she thinking? This was Clarke’s decision, she had nothing-

Clarke’s hand closed around hers.

~

Job listing sites had plenty of options but none of them seemed to be what Lexa was looking for. Nothing paid enough to support her lifestyle - minimal as it was - or put too many qualifications that no human should be able to match. She sighed in frustration and clicked on the next page. Her phone broke into vibration, startling her.

“Hey, what’s up?” She greeted, skimming the next page.

“You’re joking right?” Anya deadpanned. “You have to be joking. ‘What’s up’ like you don’t already know,” she continued on in disbelief. Lexa blinked.

“No, I don’t know. Did something happen?” She was answered by the sound of Anya grumbling under her breath.

“Jesus, google Clarke,” Lexa’s internal alarm immediately started clanging in her head. Questions and concerns raced through her mind as the page loaded.

Clarke Griffin Comes Out as Bisexual After Weekend with ‘Close Friend’

Just below the headline was an image of Clarke hanging off her back, her mouth maybe a little too close to her neck after Lexa had described the cat lady house she’d delivered a new refrigerator to. They were both sun kissed and relaxed as Lexa carried her towards the beach at Lake Tahoe, Clarke’s choice for a getaway. She had to admit, the angle did make her abs look great.

“Oh,” she mumbled.

“Yeah, ‘oh’, did you guys finally seal the deal? Admit some stuff? Come clean? Please tell me you kissed her.” In all honesty, Lexa had forgotten the phone next to her ear.

“Uh, no. She asked for advice and companionship, so I gave her that. It wasn’t the time,” she explained. The sigh that followed was clearly disappointed.

“If you’re not careful, the timing will never be right.”

~

The night was chillier than the weather channel had predicted, indicative of colder nights to come in the following weeks. But the stars were no different than they ever were as Lexa pulled the blanket tighter around Clarke and herself. She’d remembered another blanket this time, a thicker one to lay under them to guard against both the cold of the metal and it’s hard ridges. Come morning, a sore back would be uncomfortable for Clarke’s transatlantic flight and Lexa’s new job.

“I think about this when I’m on stage, you know,” Clarke confessed into the darkness. Lexa knew that turning to look at her would put her just too close.

“Yeah?”

Clarke hummed. “When I’m on stage and there’s all there people and they’re so excited to see me, all I can think about is this and you and how it’s so much easier,” Lexa did look this time. Clarke’s face was relaxed against her shoulder, her eyes tracing constellations she knew far better than Lexa.

“Is that what you want? Easy?” she asked. The blond laughed and the sound shook her whole body.

“Lex, I’m what they call ‘An International Pop Star’, I don’t think I ever wanted easy,” she answered, burrowing deeper against Lexa’s side. Anya’s phone call a few months prior flashed through Lexa’s mind and she let out a shuddering breath.

“It could be, easy I mean,”

“What could be?”

“This. Us,”

“‘Us’?”

“Yeah, if you want,” Lexa’s heart thumped unbearably loud in her chest, Clarke had to be able to hear it. She was so close. Any moment now the gentle let down would come and they’d slowly and awkwardly disentangle from one another until Lexa decided it would be best to just drive her home.

Clarke’s fingers laced through her own and squeezed.

“Babe, this is the easiest thing.”

[filmsthirteen]

Finding Myself through Cameron Crowe Films

  *Minor Spoilers*

    There are a handful of directors, writers, artists, and singers who have influenced my life. Yet there is only a handful of them who consistently released art that contributed to the person I have moulded into, (despite only being 19 and thinking this is the final version of myself). But one filmmaker in particular, resonates as having created films that were pressed play constantly as a teenager. That filmmaker is the man, the myth, the legend, Cameron Crowe. If it were up to me, he’d be Sir Cameron Crowe. An artist who had managed to shape multiple generations and accurately reflect on generations that once existed. From the early eighties, Crowe has contributed to the films that teens flocked to the theatre to see when they were released, and many years later, those teens would show their kids those films. Thus, I was thankfully brought up by brilliant films such as Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Say Anything, Singles, and Almost Famous. All those films manage to capture adolescence and young adulthood, through numerous characters, eras, and most importantly, through the use of music. Now that I’m in my final year of being a teenager, and entering the next phase of my life, I thought it was time to thank Cameron Crowe for guiding me through these seemingly treacherous years. 

    I was raised on eighties films. I always had the blessing of having parents who were really into films, and so I was constantly shown film after film. Many of them were teen films of the eighties. So, of course, there were many late nights of watching Pretty in Pink, Heathers, and Risky Business. Though Crowe's films obviously ended up in the mix, the first time I remember sitting down to watch one of his films ended up being around thirteen. My Dad got me one of those three pack special DVDs from Walmart, with Sixteen Candles and The Breakfast Club. Both of them I was absolutely obsessed with and made me long to be a teenager. Despite John Hughes being the legend he is, the third film, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, was the one that stuck with me through all four years of high school. I watched the film on my own the night before my first day of high school. I was starting that year off fresh; all my friends were going to the public school, while my parents shipped me off to the Catholic school the next town over, where I’d have to wear khaki cardboard material like pants, and polyester shirts in either green, white or blue. I worried my entire summer about the first day of high school; walking down halls I didn’t know, sitting beside people I never had the pleasure of knowing since kindergarten. On Stacy's (Jennifer Jason Leigh) first day of high school, American Girl by Tom Petty plays. Immediately I grabbed my iPod touch, added it to my iTunes, and played it on repeat on my hour and a half long bus ride, and into the doors of the school. Minus doing it with an older dude, getting pregnant, and brushing up my blowjob skills with a carrot in front of the cafeteria, I wished I was like Stacy. Having a cool job in the mall, somehow being gorgeous all the time (even during exam season?) and having a really sweet guy like Mark take you on a date to a really fancy German restaurant, seemed like an experience I deserved. But Cameron wrote about things in this film so painfully realistic to the high school experience, even thirty years later. I knew girls who went out with weird guys way too old for them, having plans for the future destroyed, and of course, having a teacher who thinks that everyone is on dope (which they're totally right about). It doesn't exaggerate the experience of a teenager, making the film so close to the truth as a film can get. Perhaps its due to Crowe actually spending the year as an undercover student, and honestly, all teen films should've been fact-checked like this one. 

     Less than seven years later, Crowe came out with Say Anything. Though my Mom loves this movie, and used to watch it whenever it would come on TV, it was the 2010 film Easy A that actually got me to watch the movie. I made it a point to go back and watch all those films that Emma Stone’s character lists off when discussing if chivalry is dead. Thus I ended up watching Can’t Buy Me Love, Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, and of course, Say Anything. I wanted my life to be like an 80s movie directed by John Hughes, but I got it so much better, I got a life unintentionally directed by Cameron Crowe. And because of that, I fell in love with wanting to be that smart girl like Diane Court. I look back now on how much studying I did in high school, and how it paid off to where I am now. It’s important for filmmakers to add these characters, ones were they say that girls can be pretty and smart, not settling for the cliched pick and choose scenario. So I worked hard, writing endless essays, studying late at night for a math test, and juggled clubs and activities. But still, I wished to also have that and be wanted by someone. Like Lloyd Dobler, who wants Diane so much, its all he thinks about. But listen, for once I can say the character of Lloyd isn't some creepy dude, who has an obsession and is purely motivated by this girls essence. Again, there are way too many films with the lead guy being solely provoked by a woman's body. But when he gets her, he holds on, noting that her feelings are reciprocated. She could go off to Oxford, and he’d be right there. Perhaps love at this age is rare, but when you know, well you know. And that's a huge difference that my generation can see. Though many of us have grown up with divorced parents, constant cheating, and unreciprocated feelings, at such a young age, we shouldn't keep that from the actual emotions that we are meant to feel for another human. Maybe we are supposed to give it all, and as I watch this film, I’m not wondering what if Lloyd didn't go about the relationship as he did, I wonder how Lloyd and Diane are. Because like I said, he wants her so bad that he stands outside of her house after a fight, holding that boombox up high, blasting the best love song of all time, In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel. I can’t even tell you the amount of times I’ve had that song on an endless repeat, but I can promise that I most likely broke the record the summer of ‘18. I longed to be sought after like Diane (cause who honestly doesn't want to be so enormously desired by someone you love?). By the end of the August heat, I laid awake at night, waiting for that song to be played outside of my window (actually would've freaked me out but still, the thoughts nice). But that song ended up being played during the fall, plenty of times in the cold winter days, and in the early spring, all the while so content with listening to it at this very moment. Sometimes boys and girls, it's good to just say anything (add wink emoji here). 

     Despite still being totally obsessed with all things of 80s culture, it's time to bring up that phase that wasn't ever a phase, but the depths of my soul. The tenth grade brought about my “grunge phase.” I got my nose pierced, splurged on Doc Martens, stocked my closet with various coloured flannel shirts and band tees. I wanted people to know that I listened to Nirvana, Guns n Roses, and Pearl Jam, despite it being on my shirt that I’d wear under my uniform sweater. My eyeliner was thick black, and my tweets were usually lyrics from some band part of the Seattle Sound. My Dad was in his teens when the Seattle sound came about, and thus as a kid, I spent many car rides hearing Alice in Chains ‘Dirt’ album, Pearl Jam’s the ‘Ten’ album, and Nirvana’s ‘Unplugged’ album on the radio. For me, I was the real shit when it came to this era of my life. And that became the perfect opportunity for my dad to introduce me to Crowe’s ‘92 film Singles. A group of young adults who all live in (a now extremely famous) the same apartment complex, during the height of the Seattle sound. Surprise surprise, they reside in Seattle. Honestly, there could've been no better film for my dad to turn on. With cameos from my bae Eddie Vedder and the late Chris Cornell, the film brings so much to the group of young adults who chose to immerse themselves in real boy bands, compared to whatever the other ones who sang with earpieces paired with synchronized dances did. No offence. Dealing with the idea of relationships, whether we are to settle or have fun in our 20s, Singles is supposed to be about Gen Xer’s, yet, I can see how many millennials still have this issue. There are plenty of girls I know who have used their ex’s t-shirts to clean their toilets, and though we aren't making dating VHS’s, they are perfecting their tinder profiles, hoping that actual human connection exists on the other end. The biggest point in the film that got me, (despite being sixteen trying to imagine myself in four years time), was the whole fear of what if you commit and what if you don’t? There are many ways you can mess up potential, and still, it lies within not calling after a date, or in our case, texting after hanging out. Sometimes we just need people to say and do the right things without having to tell them what is the right thing to do or say. And if it all works out, we’ll end up like Steve and Linda who move out the single bedroom apartment, and into never having to be labelled again as a single. 

     Eight years came about the semi autobiographical story of Crowe himself, Almost Famous. The film with the best soundtrack of all time, due to it having a budget of 3.5 million, compared to most films with budgets of about 1.5 million. Honestly, that's the best use of money in all of human history. And thanks to Zooey Deschanel’s duffel bag, we get to hear Simon and Garfunkel, Led Zeppelin, The Beach Boys, and everyone's favourite, Elton John. You cannot tell me you did not get goosebumps hearing Tiny Dancer being sung in unison by Kate Hudson, Billy Crudup, Patrick Fugit, Jason Leigh, and well I could go on forever about the well-casted film. Before watching the film, I remember that Fool in the Rain was my favourite Zeppelin song. But after watching it for the first time, I had probably had listened to Led Zeppelin’s song Tangerine a hundred times. If a film has such tangible (see what I did there) scenes, and a song contains such a powerful presence, then that is mastering filmmaking in my opinion. Thus, this film was watched during all sorts of moments in my adolescence. The time I wanted to work as a journalist for Rolling Stone, when I was in need of a change, and when I was absolutely alone and only a Cameron Crowe film understood me. And each time I was damn near tempted to be a roadie for a somewhat known band, who hopefully was opening for Black Sabbath. Actually, it was very much this film that got me more obsessed with concerts than I was before. I’d buy tickets as soon as they’d go on sale, mostly to smaller bands, that way I’d have a chance of being up close, and even meeting the band. Like William, I’d wait by the stage doors for the band. Dragging my friends to the concert at least twelve hours before the show would start, just so I could meet bands like Peach Pit, Pale Waves, Colouring, and well other indie bands that I’m sure slim to no adults know. Believe me, I’d wait a week for Black Sabbath if I could. But beyond that, I think that every young person deserves the life, encapsulated in this film; of just going out there and being absolutely free. You know, before life kicks in. And that's really what this film, amongst nearly all of Crowe's films, demonstrate. Get out there kid, put on those headphones, blast some Lynyrd Skynyrd, and just live before you die. Being obsessed with listening to classic rock, I devoured the only season of Paul Feig’s Freaks and Geeks, and had Almost Famous’s soundtrack on repeat. I owned a long green army jacket, and also a faux sheepskin sherpa coat. I was both Lindsey Weir and Penny Lane. I was walking down the two hallways of my high school, and the one street of my small towns downtown, earbuds in, Fleetwood Mac blasting. And through the many characters of these films, they reminded me that I’m here for the art. For the music from the Bookends album, the score of a Tim Burton film, and the tracks of a Tarantino picture. Like Kathy and Paul who went off to see America, Lindsey who goes off to a Grateful Dead concert with her best friend, and Penny Lane who is off to her dream destination of Morocco, I myself am off to see and hear the world. 

      It's odd to look back on these films that meant so much to who I was and who I’ve become. I’m in my last year of being a teenager, and I’m almost done university’ yet I still feel so attached to these characters I feel that I someway embodied. But that's not because I based my life off these characters Crowe created, it's really because Crowe based these characters off of people that exist in life. In those years of watching any teen film out there, Crowes (and of course Hughes) inspired me to look around constantly, taking notes on the friends I had spent lunches on Thursdays, discussing films with, just in case I’d make a film reminiscent about them. In my seemingly ordinary life, Crowe told me to go out and grab those who write seemingly precognition notes in your yearbook. Most importantly, Crowe told me to just let the music guide me through life. And for that, I got my life to be directed by Cameron Crowe. 

INT. Credits being to roll, as ELTON JOHN’S TINY DANCER plays. 

FADE OUT 

[kpopsinsandwins]

Get to Know Me

Rules: 

1. Tag the person who tagged you

2. Answer the questions

3. Tag other people

How tall are you?

I haven’t actually measured my height or weighed myself in 3 years but I put 5′3″ on my driver’s license so I’m gonna say 5′3″.

What color and style is your hair?

My hair is black and naturally curly. Not too curly but also not wavy. It also goes a little past my shoulders.

What color are your eyes?

Dark brown, almost black (I’m a demon🖤)

Do you wear glasses? 

Nope! I have 20/20 vision, bitches!🤪

Do you wear braces?

I do not. My teeth are pretty much naturally straight but I do have a bit of an overbite. 

What’s your fashion sense?

Warm Weather: 

Shorts and a tee shirt or tank top, or a dress, and sneakers

Cold Weather:

Big old sweaters, pants, beanies, and boots

I mostly wear black but there is a rare occasion where I wear gray or white. I own like 5 shirts that are light colors lol🙃

Full Name?

That’s a secret for now😉

When were you born?

February 6, 2001 (I’m basically exactly one year older than Jisung). That makes me 18 y'all. I am an adult but I don't really act like one or loom like one😂

Where are you from and where do you live now?

California bb💕🌴☀️🌊

What school do you go to?

Pretty soon I won’t be in school. I graduate high school in a week!👩🏽‍🎓

What kind of student are you?

The type that follows the rules and gets their work done on time. I know, I'm lame😞

Do you like school?

I really do love learning but the whole concept and set up of school is fucked. If there was a different and better way for people to be educated then maybe I’d like it.

Favorite subject?

English!! Next year I’m gonna take two English classes at the same time cause apparently I hate myself. I like it though so I think I should be fine.

Favorite tv show?

I like Stranger Things and The Umbrella Academy a lot. I also like Steven Universe and Moomin Valley cause I’m soft👉🏽👈🏽

Favorite movie?

Ok I have favorite movies in different genres cause choosing one would be too hard. My favorite animated movie is Coraline, my favorite action movie is Sucker Punch, and my favorite romance/musical is Grease. All these movies were big parts of my childhood so I’ve seen them so many times and I love them every time I watch them. (They are also the only 3 movies I own cause I will only buy a movie if I absolutely love it).

Favorite past time?

I love reading and writing, if it wasn’t clear enough by now😂 I also really like drawing, though I’m not too good at it. I also love playing instruments. I have a lot in my room that I mess with when I’m bored. I also love playing video games. I've been playing video games ever since I could remember. I'm real good at Guitar Hero cause most of the third grade I was sick and so I stayed home and played that every single day until I could play hard mode. That's what made me start playing the guitar for real😁

Do you have any regrets?

Getting with my ex’s friend after he broke up with me. He was gross and I let him do things to me I regret so much to this day😖

Dream job?

I’ve wanted to be an author ever since I was 8 years old.

Would you ever like to be married?

Maybe. I think marriage is a scam made by the government but I’d definitely move in with someone if I loved them enough. If they wanted to get married and I really loved them then probably. 

Would you like to have kids?

I always change my answer for this. I don’t really like kids like at all but then I always think about my future and I do see at least one kid in it. That’s probably all I’d be able to handle to be honest. 

How many?

I think one is good. Like when I’m like 35 lol.

Do you like shopping?

I fucking love Target ok😤 I will literally go with my friend’s mom to Target to get groceries or just to look at clothes with or without my friend. So yes, I like shopping. 

What countries have you visited?

I went to Mexico when I was like 2 for my great grandma’s funeral but I don’t remember it so I don’t know if that counts. Other than that, I have never been out of the country. I had never even been to another state other than Nevada until two summers ago. 

Scariest nightmare you’ve ever had?

When I was little I had a dream that my family got  a maid and she abused us and she ended up killing all my siblings in front of me and I almost escaped but then she killed me. It was pretty scary my dudes.

Any enemies?

I hold grudges so any one who has ever done me dirty is my enemy. Someone who even did someone I love dirty is bad in my book, even if I don’t love that person anymore. Like I said, I hold a grudge. I’m just stubborn like that.

Any significant other?

Nope and I don’t want one any time soon. Been there done that. (I do miss cuddles and kisses though) I will however be willing to date one person and their name is Na Jaemin🥰

Do you believe in miracles?

Yes and no. I do think it’s neat when things work out but I also think everything happens for a reason so if it works out then it works out. 

How are you?

I’m real good. I’m about to graduate, I saw 127 twice in the span of a month, I’m just big chillin’😎

I tag @nctobsessedhours , @eyesmilesjeno , and @neocity-docx