#my mom complained abt the ql ending again so i went off on a tangent on how good a reunion hug between al and sam would be
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[full of turkey and deviled eggs, half asleep] I don't think this story is sad enough actually I think I have to make it worse
#my mom complained abt the ql ending again so i went off on a tangent on how good a reunion hug between al and sam would be#so now im “hm i touched on it a little in chapter 2 that his presence was comforting even if he couldnt touch but. make it Worse#just keep making these boys upset actually“#cause when ur brain is filled with mourning for someone you want to hug your bestie but. what if the one person you most want to hug#cant. they can be there#they can be there and talk to you and hold your gaze and tell you a joke but they cant touch you#not even long distance the normal way. long distance in a way that a plane ticket cant fix#of course there are the homosexual undertones yes yes but the core denial of closeness is what im getting at#imo from how we see boy interact#sam is a physical person. he likes just gently touching his friends#he may not be like a giant hugger specifically but in the gentle baps on the head to just shoulder brushes and close talking#hes a physical person so the denial of that with his closest bud must be agony over time#anyway yeah im gonna make it sadder!!! its my mental illness i get to pick the sadness!!! whos gonna stop me!!!#and i will be writing him happy at the 4077th. as recompense.#and writing big bj and hawk and trapper and co holiday family happy time. it is good.#.yappin
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