#my mom DID keep a number of my kelly dolls which i had way more of than barbies i guess bc they were cheaper

[autumnrory]

going through the things i kept from childhood and thinking of the things i didn’t it’s like girl what were you doing

[crazy-noonoohead]

My top 10 shows I saw in 2017.

This is in no particular order, and to prove that, I’m sticking one of the best in the middle and saving one for last. I’m mostly focusing on shows I saw for the first time in 2017, but I’m making two exceptions (four if you count Broadway transfers that I saw in previous incarnations) and you probably already know what those two are. I’m also sticking to plays and musicals as opposed to concerts, comedy performances, etc., but I’ll include a few of those in my honorable mentions. So here goes!

The Book Of Mormon with Dom Simpson as Elder Price: Let me start off by saying I adore Nic Rouleau. He’s been in various productions of BOM since its very beginning, and he still continues to get better every time I see him. And when I say this next thing, I don’t want anyone to think I’m tired of him, because that couldn’t be further from the truth. The day he leaves the show is probably the day the world ends. But since he’s been with the show for so long, he’s the Price I’ve seen the most often, by a long shot, so seeing a new take on the role was a refreshing experience that I’ll always cherish. When I met Dom at the stage door, I found out that I had seen the show more times than he had done the show. I hope he has more opportunities to go on, because he gave a wonderful performance! (Quick shout-outs to the other two times I saw it this year, especially when I went on my birthday.)

Falsettos’ closing performance: Having frequented this show consistently since the first preview (for...no particular reason), it was such a privilege to watch this cast of seven give it their all every single time. Still, that final show was probably everyone’s best performance. Andrew’s final “The Games I Play” was definitely the best I had heard him sing it, and the fact that I was sitting close enough to see the tears in his eyes was both a blessing and a curse that will haunt me for the rest of my life. Anthony powered through even though he was getting over an illness (which I would not have realized if I hadn’t already known) and had to call out earlier that weekend. Stephanie had to take moments during “I’m Breaking Down” and “Trina’s Song,” but somehow made it through “Holding To The Ground.” Brandon teared up during “A Marriage Proposal.” Everyone was emotional during the curtain call. And of course, I started crying the moment the lights went down for the first act and rarely stopped. The woman sitting next to me was a friend of William Finn’s and had lost friends during the AIDS crisis, so the show resonated with her in a way that it never will with me. I’m grateful that the production is on Broadway HD and that I can watch it whenever I want to, but it’s not the same as being there. It’s been almost a year and I still miss it a lot. What more can I say?

The Play That Goes Wrong: After seeing this in London with my mom and stepdad, we all loved it so much that we jumped on the chance to see the Broadway transfer as soon as possible. It goes wrong in all the right ways! I have now seen it three times on Broadway, and the jokes are still fresh and hilarious. Even while laughing at all the mishaps, I find myself sympathizing with these characters and admiring their determination to keep going. Sometimes it cheered me up, and other times it made an already good day even better. I hope I can go back soon to see the new cast.

The Great Comet: I went into this one knowing nothing about the plot, just that a lot of people loved it. I was also seeing it 12 days after Falsettos closed, so you can probably guess the state of mind I was in. But I loved this show! The music was like nothing I’d heard before (in a good way, obviously), the set felt intimate and elaborate at the same time, and the cast was incredibly talented AND one of the most diverse I’d ever seen, if not THE most. Somehow they made it easy for me to relate to characters living in 19th century Russia, despite living as a millennial in 21st century New York. I saw it twice, once with the original Broadway cast and once with Dave Malloy and Ingrid Michaelson, and I would have gone more if it had the long, successful run it deserved. But unfortunately, just like a comet, it lived up to its name and shone brightly for a short amount of time before disappearing. Also, the pierogies they gave out before the show were delicious. And I’m just now realizing that they missed out on an opportunity to make “Pierre-ogi” puns.

Bastard Jones: I have to admit this one grew on me. Once I found out that a former member of Toxic Audio was in the cast, I knew I was going to see it multiple times no matter what I thought, so thank goodness it was a good show! The first time I went, I enjoyed myself, and of course I loved getting to see René perform for the first time in ten years, but I wasn’t blown away. But that second time...maybe the performances got tighter. Maybe the jokes just landed better. Maybe it was because I was with the first friend I ever took to a Toxic Audio show. I’ll never know for sure. But I liked it a lot more the second time. While most of the draw for me was still seeing René in a role that is absolutely perfect for him, I ended up falling for the whole show as well. The slapstick humor, word play, and dirty jokes are completely up my alley (there’s a dirty joke somewhere in the phrase “up my alley”), and I found two songs I want to use for auditions once the sheet music becomes available. I saw this one four times during its month-long run, and the only reason I didn’t go more is that it sold out super quickly after getting rave reviews. The team is hoping that their next step is a longer run in a bigger venue, and I will definitely revisit the show when that happens, especially if René is still playing Partridge.

Sunday In The Park With George: I watched the DVD of the original production a few years ago because my friend was very nice and lent it to me, and I was so excited that I could finally see a live production. It. Was. Fantastic! Annaleigh Ashford and Jake Gyllenhaal were both wonderful and almost definitely would have received Tony nominations if the production had decided to compete. Andrew Kober, whom I’d seen in a few other things, was a swing in the show and got to go on for the first time the night I was there, which made it even more of a treat. This was a great production of an already great show, and although it was always going to be a limited run, I wish it could have lasted longer. More Sondheim on Broadway, please!

Jitney: My mom and I saw this one together, and it took a while to get going for us, but once it did, we were hooked. A super talented group of people sharing a compelling story? Yes, please! We both left the theatre pleasantly surprised, and everyone who signed at the stage door was very nice. Most of the actors didn’t have Sharpies and I got to lend them mine, which was a nice bonus. Of course, it’s always great to see BOM alumni continue to be successful, and I saw it the day after my BOM anniversary on purpose. The alumnus in this show ran over and gave me a big hug that night.

Brigadoon: This weekend-long City Center production looked ready to transfer and get an open run! Stephanie J. Block’s solo number was the stand-out for me (partially because she’s Stephanie, but her song would have been my favorite anyway), and Kelli O’Hara and Patrick Wilson were amazing as the two leads. Yes, the show has that “falling in love after knowing each other for one day” thing that annoys me about a lot of older musicals, but it still has a beautiful score and a unique premise.

The Band’s Visit: I loved this show when I saw it at the Atlantic Theatre last November, and I was very excited when I found out it was transferring to Broadway, but I also had my reservations. I was concerned that the show would lose its intimacy in a larger space. Boy, was I happy to be wrong! They picked the right theatre, as it most likely would have lost the intimacy in a bigger house, almost the entire cast is the same, and somehow the show was even better the second time. It’s a heartwarming, simple but effective story that we could all use right now. It’s not a “see over and over again” show for me, but I will definitely return to Bet Hatikva (with a B) at some point. I can’t officially endorse it for Best Musical until I see more of the new musicals this season, but if it doesn’t at least get nominated, I’m rioting.

Groundhog Day: Will I get through this paragraph without crying? Won’t I get through this paragraph without crying? Civilization once again hangs in the balance. Wow. What an unlikely love story! And contrary to those corny Hallmark movies where you figure the love story out in the first 30 seconds of the trailer, this love story was ACTUALLY unlikely. For me, at least. This was the show that got me excited about theatre again after Falsettos closed. I found something else I couldn’t stop gushing about or recommending to friends. At first most of that excitement came from the novelty of the first preview (Google the story if you don’t already know; this post is long enough already) and the awesomely professional way the team handled such a stressful situation, but as I listened to the cast recording more, it became clear that it wasn’t just that one experience that I loved. It was the whole show, and everyone involved. They took the story of a beloved, seemingly flawless movie, and in my not-even-living-in-the-same-neighborhood-as-humble opinion...dare I say it?...made it even better? I made Twitter friends because of this show. I crocheted Phil and Rita dolls and got to give them to Andy and Barrett. The closing notice hurt, and attending the final performance was one of my most bittersweet experiences, but it was worth it. This show was definitely a highlight of 2017. Six months and a day was not enough time, but I’m grateful for the time it had and I miss it every day. (For those of you wondering, I did not get through this paragraph without crying.)

Honorable mentions, also in no particular order:

Andrew Rannells’ and Stephanie J. Block’s Live From Lincoln Center concerts: An hour each, watching two of my favorite performers do solo shows that will later air on PBS was such a treat! Andrew’s set was completely full of songs I’d never heard him sing before, while Stephanie’s was a mix of new things and songs she’s known for. After hearing Stephanie sing “Some People” from Gypsy, I want her to play Rose one day. But first I want her to play Fanny Brice. Andrew is one of the only people who could make me cry by singing “Born To Run” by Bruce Springsteen (the others, of course, being the members of Toxic/Vox Audio). And he did.

Indecent: I almost made my list a top 11 so I could include it, but I insisted on having a round number. This was a powerful one-act play about making and producing God Of Vengeance, which was very controversial at the time because it was the 20th century and two women fell in love. Taking place during the Holocaust, the use of sand was very effective, and was probably both my favorite thing about it and the most difficult part to watch. It was my pick for Best Play this past season, and again, it deserved a longer run.

White Arab Problems: One of my friends from acting class wrote and performed a 45-minute comedy act about the struggles of being Arab but passing for white. In the piece, she humorously acknowledges the privileges that come with being white while also really dealing with the frustration of people thinking she’s trying to appropriate her own culture. I first met her in class in 2015 and recognized some insecurities that came across as ones I also have. Watching her grow over the years, seeing her perform this piece, and knowing she was proud of what she did made me a proud friend/classmate/scene partner, and I look forward to seeing it again whenever I can.

The Skivvies: Not much to elaborate on here, but I see as many of their concerts as I can, and it’s always a super fun time.

Prince Of Broadway: While this one was billed as a musical, it was technically a revue, which is why I didn’t put it on the official list. Watching a super talented cast of nine people perform songs and scenes from multiple Hal Prince shows definitely made for a great night! I went to the last preview, and I went again during the final week. I want Chuck Cooper to play Tevye, and I want Brandon Uranowitz to play Georg Nowack. And the Emcee. And Molina. And any other role he wants to play because he’s amazing.

So there’s my list. I’m kind of bummed that I didn’t include more plays, but hopefully next year. And with that, “ba da ba ba ba suck my balls, I’m out.”

[glenngaylord]

MY MOMENTS OUT OF TIME IN FILM 2016

Instead of a Top 10 List, every year I like to honor a long-discontinued but influential annual column from Film Comment magazine. I couldn’t wait for my father to come home from work with the “Moments Out Of Time” issue.  The writers would cite their favorite scenes, images, or lines of dialogue, even from films they may not have liked, because let’s face it, even bad films may have a great moment or two, unless you were a film called DIRTY GRANDPA.  In that case, you had no such moments.  None.  Not one.  Can you tell it wins the award, hands down, for worst film of 2016?  No?  Ok, I’ll say it.  It’s the WORST FILM OF 2016 and possibly every year that preceded it.  And remember, I also saw INDEPENDENCE DAY: RESURGENCE.  I feel better now.  Let’s move on to all good things.  This was a pretty spectacular year for film.  Some of the best allowed their films to breathe, to find glimmers of real human connection, or to remind us that movie-movie moments are sometimes way better than real life. Others made their mark by diving off the deep end, face first.  I missed a few films that I understand would surely make the cut, such as THE HANDMAIDEN, SILENCE, and HACKSAW RIDGE, but I’ll get to them eventually. Here, in no particular order, are my Moments Out Of Time in film for 2016:

Forget the elections.  Amy Adams, huffing and puffing as she rises into an alien spaceship, was all the fear and dread I needed in 2016.  Her intimate, deeply felt performance grounds this epic film and makes you feel like its grand themes are being whispered gently into your ears - ARRIVAL

Until now, I’ve never experienced a movie audience shuddering in unison from a line of dialogue (my favorite of the year) like they did with this vivid piece of work by the late, great August Wilson: “We go upstairs in that room at night, and I fall down on you and try to blast a hole into forever.”  - FENCES

Just two women sitting down for a cup of tea and cakes on a “fancy” tiered tray talking about how to please their men.  A harpist plays in the background and the all-female crowd wear floppy hats, pant-suits and flowing gowns.  Add false eyelashes, dense mascara, and all the pink its incredible DIY director, Anna Biller, can muster, and you’re convinced you just dropped the needle anywhere in VALLEY OF THE DOLLS, but, in truth, it’s 2016 and you realize this film has something on its mind - THE LOVE WITCH

For all of its eye-popping scenes, and there are many in this sometimes great (that opening freeway number?!!), sometimes flawed musical, its immortal moment arrives when Emma Stone simply stands and sings “Audition (The Fools Who Dream)” - LA LA LAND

Before LA LA LAND, Channing Tatum, tapping about in his sailor suit during “No Dames”, and Scarlett Johansson in her mermaid getup going all Esther Williams on us, showed us how an old-fashioned musical is done - HAIL, CAESAR!

And yes folks, 2016 gave us another great musical where we experienced the entire creative process of writing and performing songs.  Set in the 1980s, we see a bullied kid watch MTV videos by The Jam, The Cure, Duran Duran and more, examine events in his own life or simply find inspiration from a girl he loves, and then set it to glorious music.  For me, nowhere was this more defiant and wonderful than in the protest song “Brown Shoes” where he voices his anger at his strict school principal.  The lyrics make me wanna stand up for all of the glorious, put-upon weirdos of the world: Yeah the boot’s on the other foot now/Buckle up we’re taking you down/See the curtain’s falling so take your bow/Cause you had your time in the sun/And it’s no use banging your drum/Now the boot’s on the other foot take your bow - SING STREET

Thrillers get a bad rap when it comes to awards.  Think about it.  One of the only films of its kind to win a Best Picture Oscar was THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS and that was in 1991.  While not quite on that level, this film perfectly delivers beautifully sustained suspense and scares.  Just the sight of cutting back to a sleeping blind man (a fantastic Stephen Lang) only to see that he’s now sitting up, proved to be THE most haunting edit of the year - DON’T BREATHE

In a film chock full of moments out of time (and seriously, why isn’t it getting Oscar buzz?), the one that punched me in the gut the most was when a dying Molly Shannon visits her former colleagues and can barely even speak above a whisper.  Through it all, she maintains a brave face. She tries to tell a story about a student but one of her peers keeps interrupting because she can’t hear her. The subtext of how some people cannot handle being around a dying person is palpable. Heartbreaking, memorable, great, great, work - OTHER PEOPLE

Emulating her mentor, the great James L. Brooks, first timer Kelly Fremon Craig nails his quirky rhythms in the opening scene in which Hailee Steinfeld doesn’t get the desired response from her teacher (a sublime Woody Harrelson) when she threatens suicide - THE EDGE OF SEVENTEEN

Two men sit in a diner, in an achingly beautiful, deliberate scene, where in the back of your mind, you wonder what song will play on the jukebox.  Barbara Lewis’ great “Hello Stranger” with its appropriately touching lyrics (Shoo-bop, shoo-bop, my baby ohhh / It seems like a mighty long time) make the moment soar.  Has a song ever been repurposed so profoundly? - MOONLIGHT

Best Movie Speech of the Year: Do you see that guitar? I used to be able to play that guitar well. I used to ride hot girls. I could run 200 meters faster than anybody in my school. You're the youngest. You get to follow the path that I macheted through the jungle that is our mad family. I was alone with them for six years. You think they're crazy now? Think about what they were like when they were in their late 20's. Two Catholics in a rented flat with a screaming baby who just got married because they wanted to have sex. They didn't even love each other. I was in the middle of that, alone! And then you came along, thank God! And you followed the path that I cut for us. Untouched. You just moved in my jet stream. And people laugh at me, Conor. The stoner, the college dropout. And they praise you, which is fine! But once, I was a fucking jet engine! - SING STREET

2nd Best Movie Speech of the Year (I initially put this at #1 until I remembered that there’s no better advice than that which comes from a loving older sibling):  First of all, Leslie practiced Buddhism, which to her was a philosophy and not an organized religion. In fact, Leslie abhorred all organized religions. To her, they were the most dangerous fairy tales ever invented, designed to elicit blind obedience, and strike fear into the hearts of the innocent and the uninformed. To her, the only thing worse than death would have been the knowledge that her rotting flesh was to be trapped for all eternity inside a big box, and buried in the middle of a fucking golf course. Although the absurdity of being eulogized by someone that didn't even know her has exactly the kind of comedic flourish that Leslie would have cherished. If nothing else, she had a sense of humor. - CAPTAIN FANTASTIC

Ralph Fiennes and Alden Ehrenreich square off over the pronunciation of “Would that it were so simple” in my second favorite deliciously extended back and forth of the year - HAIL, CAESAR!

Michael Barbieri, a young discovery who has caught Hollywood’s attention, practices the Meisner Technique with his acting professor in my #1 favorite deliciously extended back and forth of the year - LITTLE MEN

Any film that illustrates a child’s resilience and delusions by having him say that he and Tupac Shakur were best friends gets a standing clap from me - HUNT FOR THE WILDERPEOPLE

I cried when a little boy wakes up on a train, separated from the life he once knew. I cried when a grown man sees a dessert from his childhood.  I cried when a family reunion takes place.  I cried when the title card appeared at the end right after revealing its meaning.  I cried during this movie more than any other in 2016 - LION

I only cried twice during this film -  when Sigourney Weaver breaks down with her grandson, and when mother and son have a tender final talk - so it’s no LION, but it still packed a wallop - A MONSTER CALLS

A dinner table conversation turns to the topic of menstruation and becomes a feminist rallying cry from now until forever - 20TH CENTURY WOMEN

Some may call it an Oscar-baiting ploy, but Viola Davis earned every drop of tears and mucous in her big, cathartic moment - FENCES

The band can’t get the production value needed for their music video shoot to “Drive It Like You Stole It”, but Conor, our young hero, imagines all of the people in his life showing up and creating the one perfect moment we all wish for in this magical, unforgettable sequence - SING STREET

Lily Rabe blends fact and fiction so perfectly in her big monologue where she talks about her mother, a former actress who made a big splash but then faded away.  Seeing how her real life mother was Jill Clayburgh, you can’t help but think she wrote this dialogue herself.  True or not, she puts herself on a par with her late, great mom with this breakthrough performance - MISS STEVENS

My distaste of all things Superheroes is well-documented, but the wit of the screenplay, especially in one of the most memorable and hilarious opening credit sequences of all time, may make a temporary convert out of me.  Set to Juice Newton’s 1981 cover of  “Angel Of The Morning”, standard credits have been replaced by such titles as “Some Douchebag’s Film” and “All brought to you by the Writers (a.k.a. “the real heroes here”) - DEADPOOL

Sex scenes are all the same.  Right?  Soft music.  A lit candle.  Arms and legs intertwined.  You’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.  Well, obviously, you haven’t seen two accomplished gymnasts put their own crazily athletic spin on it in what has to be the funniest sex scene ever filmed  - THE BRONZE

It was a great year for cinematography.  Linus Sandgren’s miraculous “single take” on the crowded freeway or James Laxton’s haunting moonlit blue final image of the young Chiron staring right at us definitely entered the pantheon of indelible images.  Same goes for Jarin Blaschke’s desaturated, viscerally wet look at a farm on the edge of a foreboding forest - LA LA LAND/MOONLIGHT/THE WITCH

After a well-contained chamber piece set in a bunker, everything goes off the rails the minute our heroine steps outdoors in a trippy, totally bonkers sci-fi sequence that made me so, so, so happy- 10 CLOVERFIELD LANE

If you’re a skilled pilot, when you see a flock of seagulls in front of your hurtling jet, screaming isn’t appropriate.  Instead, you conjure up your years of experience, use your calm, analytical mind and simply state, “Birds” - SULLY

How does toxic masculinity factor into problem solving?  Why, you simply punch another guy right in the face when he disagrees with you! - THE LOVE WITCH

After watching her play to the back rows on EMPIRE, isn’t it refreshing to know that Taraji P. Henson can win your heart with cat eye glasses, pleated skirts, chalk, a giant math equation, and, most importantly, unshakeable will and smarts - HIDDEN FIGURES

Who knew that one could bare their soul by talking about a matchbox? - PATERSON

Up is down and down is up as a team of humans enter an oddly-shaped craft.  Inside is a vast, empty charcoal black expanse.  Aliens look like elephant trunks, communicate in smoky circles, and time isn’t linear.  Welcome to the new sci-fi - ARRIVAL

Which do you prefer?  The Talking Heads or Black Flag?  Sometimes two people can find out everything they need to know about each other and the people around them by dancing around a room to music - 20TH CENTURY WOMEN

I knew it was coming.  Throughout the film, the sexual tension was palpable and then the moment arrived…a full-blown (pun intended), no-holds-barred orgy by the horny unshackled food items at a grocery store and it’s as food pornographic as you would hope - SAUSAGE PARTY

Emma Stone imagines what would have happened if she had zigged instead of zagged in a truly dazzling, wordless musical sequence inspired by AN AMERICAN IN PARIS and SINGIN’ IN THE RAIN but emotionally more astounding - LA LA LAND

In a film with very little merit, I still loved the “Elephant Bukkake Party”. Disgusting and hilarious - GRIMSBY

So the gut-wrenching suspense, the kid lying unconscious on a slowly cracking window pane, the horrors in that basement…none of that was enough for you?  Have your loyalties ever shifted so many times in a movie? Not entertained enough? Ok, fine.  Let’s give you a gloriously extended sequence involving a girl, a car, and a very assertive dog.  CUJO’s got nothing on this endlessly surprising film - DON’T BREATHE

Nailing the former First Lady’s stilted speaking voice as she tours us through the White House, Natalie Portman exudes fragility and strength - JACKIE

Jeff Nichols understands unexpected moments.  Although the film turns oddly cheesy in its final act, I won’t soon forget the way things fall from the sky at a gas station - MIDNIGHT SPECIAL

Forget Black Phillip, the scariest goat in all of cinematic history (or is he the only one?), the real fear in this film came just watching a poor, exiled family trying to find food.  Although having a goat seduce a person by asking “Wouldst thou like to live deliciously?” is pretty damn chilling - THE WITCH

I’m a firm believer that despite Leah Rimini’s extremely moving portrayal of dangerous cults, most aren’t of the highly organized, murderous variety.  This makes the final shot of the red lanterns so ridiculous, but I’ve got to hand it to the filmmakers, it’s incredibly memorable - THE INVITATION

A worn-out, exhausted waitress, played by the scene-stealing Margaret Bowman, in a dusty Texas diner, warily approaches a table and asks her customers, “What don’t you want?” in this seemingly random scene that ends up perfectly illustrating the fatigue that has set in on a floundering USA - HELL OR HIGH WATER

After a long exhausting weekend of partying and baseball practice, our hero starts his first day of college by nodding off in class as “Let The Good Times Roll” by The Cars plays on the soundtrack - EVERYBODY WANTS SOME!!

I didn’t love the film, but I’ll never forget the sudden violence when the late Anton Yelchin gets his hand nearly sliced off or when Imogen Poots uses a box cutter to unexpectedly disembowel a man - THE GREEN ROOM

Mowgli and a herd of animals brave a treacherous mountain pass as mud slides all around them  in a staggering achievement in live action/CGI animation - THE JUNGLE BOOK

Nothing came as close to celebrating women as much as the image of Annette Bening in an open-air plane soaring above the clouds - 20TH CENTURY WOMEN

Although I wasn’t a fan of the film as a whole, Tom Bennet’s goofy performance charmed me and Kate Beckinsale relished every single one of her razor-sharp lines, such as when her Lady Susan walks in on a stunned, frozen group of people and exclaims, “What a delightful family pose” - LOVE & FRIENDSHIP

A boy pores over a skin magazine as a car drops off a cliff behind him and crashes through his home.  A case study in anticipation and delivery - THE NICE GUYS

Three words:  The Exorcism Scene - THE WAILING

Emily Meade nearly walks away with this film in her one big moment as the incredibly angry girlfriend of a hostage taker in my second favorite female scene stealing cameo of the year - MONEY MONSTER

Khandi Alexander outplays the outrageous amount of testosterone on display by forcing us to hang onto her every word as she repeated the question over and over, “Are there any other bombs?” in my #1 favorite female scene stealing cameo of the year  -  PATRIOTS DAY

Having seen as many films as I have, one usually can see plot twists coming from a mile away, but the big reveal in this film caught me totally off guard and put a big old lump in my throat - ARRIVAL

A young kid asks the closest thing he has to a father figure, a drug dealer played by the magnificent Mahershala Ali, what a faggot is.  The response he gets is so unexpected, it makes you rethink how easy it is to judge a book by its cover - MOONLIGHT

If you’ve seen the first one, then you know the minute you see an airbag what’s gonna happen, but it doesn’t make it any less funny - NEIGHBORS 2

Colin Farrell woos a cruel, cold sociopath played by Angeliki Papoulia in a hot tub by trying to prove he’s just as awful in the least cute meet cute scene of the year - THE LOBSTER

The glowing triangle during the fashion show is this year’s unexplainable 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY monolith.  It’s just there and things change. - THE NEON DEMON

I honestly couldn’t make out the lyrics most of the time, it had very little to do with the story, and the melody escaped my brain the minute I heard it, but who cares?  Wouldn’t life be better if everyone caught in a traffic jam suddenly started dancing? - LA LA LAND

I could listen to this great director talk for days about all the moving parts in the famous CARRIE prom sequence, because his amazing recall and zeal for storytelling is infectious - DE PALMA

To say you’ve witnessed the best dog diarrhea tracking shot of all time seems cheap, considering it’s probably the only one, but damn, it’s the best dog diarrhea tracking shot of all time -  WIENER-DOG

I didn’t love everything about the movie, but Anna Faris playing herself as a coked-up tweaker possibly outshines Michael Cera as himself in THIS IS THE END.  Also, bonus points for paying sublime tribute to the late George Michael in that hilarious car scene - KEANU

The sight of blood on a pink Chanel suit makes an event so well-known to people around the world feel so intensely personal - JACKIE

What kind of woman would invite her rapist down to a secluded basement?  It’s a very good question and one that Paul Verhoeven and Isabelle Huppert bravely tackle in this biting, perverted gem - ELLE

Many shunned this film because of the controversy surrounding its writer/director/star and co-story writer, but for those who saw it, it’s unlikely you’ll ever forget the most horrifyingly brutal dental scene since MARATHON MAN - THE BIRTH OF A NATION

With Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s face eerily placed on the body of a plump, naked teen who sings along in the shower to En Vogue’s “Never Gonna Get It”, it plays as a moment of pure, unbridled joy, until it gets all hate-crimey - CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE

A chair cracks over the back of a bully in one of the more explosive, well-earned acts of violence in movie history - MOONLIGHT

Think what you will as to whether or not criminal behavior took place, my takeaway was that I work so hard when I could be making easy money by tying a guy to a chair and tickling him! - TICKLED

Skewering the briefing scenes from TMZ may seem like an easy target, but Will Arnett finds the right maniacal tone to keep you laughing longer than you thought possible - POPSTAR: NEVER STOP NEVER STOPPING

A door to a fleabag motel gets opened to the truly horrifying site of a mountain lion stalking the room, which made me rethink complaining about the sandpaper-like towels the last time I stayed in a Motel 6 - THE NEON DEMON

Danny DeVito, as a dead-inside film school professor and failed screenwriter, interviews a prospective student and cannot get him to name one film that has influenced him.  It’s a scene that speaks to a generation that looks at millennials as being completely uninterested in history - WIENER-DOG

In a year filled with intentionally scary movies, nothing chilled me more to the bone than the sight of Michel, the overly tanned cult leader who parades around in Speedos and sexually molests many of his followers - HOLY HELL

This dialogue exchange between Colin Farrell’s David and the brilliant Olivia Colman as the Hotel Manager cuts to the heart of this film’s brittle genius: HOTEL MANAGER: Now have you thought about what animal you’d like to be if you end up alone?  DAVID: Yes, a lobster.  HOTEL MANAGER: A lobster is an excellent choice. - THE LOBSTER

I don’t care what your sexual orientation is, the sight of Blake Lively kicking ass and taking names all while wearing an amazing bikini is hot in anyone’s book - THE SHALLOWS

In a film sorely lacking in memorable lines, Kristen Wiig still manages a perfectly timed moment after being slimed with this fun dialogue:  “That stuff went everywhere, by the way. In every crack.” - GHOSTBUSTERS

Sometimes great actors can salvage a bad movie.  She doesn’t quite do that here, but between this and THE CLOUDS OF SILS MARIA, Kristen Stewart is so warm and wonderful that I can forgive her TWILIGHT years - CAFE SOCIETY

In an otherwise disappointing TV-to-screen adaptation, the airplane scene, in which Flight Attendant Rebel Wilson uses a taser on Joanna Lumley’s Patsy, worked like a charm, especially when Patsy’s response to it is, “Cheers.  Can’t get that on British Airways.” - ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS

In one of the best, more under-appreciated films of the year, Gillian Jacobs plays an improv comic who repeats the line “Has anyone had a particularly bad day?” to audiences throughout the film, perfectly setting the stage for things to come - DON’T THINK TWICE

Meryl Streep makes everything better, am I right?  While playing a rich, talentless singer, she tries to write lyrics to an instrumental piece presented by her pianist and mutters out “…mmm..mmm…mmm…the trees”, proving once and for all that not everybody is Lennon and McCartney - FLORENCE FOSTER JENKINS

Driving through dirty, dusty alleys while hightailing it away from a bank robbery never seemed more desolate or grim, which is exactly the type of America this film exposes - HELL OR HIGH WATER

My vote for film score of the year goes to Mica Levi, who blazed a trail with UNDER THE SKIN, and continues to probe inside the minds of the characters, finding beauty and dissonance in our grieving heroine - JACKIE

The Art Direction awards usually go to a sumptuous period piece.  Slap a bunch of Louis XIV furniture in a room and you’re taking home an Oscar for sure.  What production designer Thomas Hammock did with an endless maze of a house, a new grotesquerie at every turn, would merit every prize in my book, but that’s not how the world works - BLAIR WITCH

Speaking of which, “Witch” is a lucky word for Production Designers this year. Craig Lathrop did incredible work bringing to life that isolated farm and Anna Biller not only wrote/produced/directed/edited and costume designed, but she brought every set to impeccable, garish life, going so far as to paint every piece of graphic art on the walls - THE WITCH/THE LOVE WITCH

Say what you will about the movie.  I didn’t love it, but by the end, I’m willing to bet that some people booked tickets to the profoundly gorgeous Newfoundland for a secluded getaway vacation - CLOSET MONSTER

How is it possible to play drunk so convincingly yet still make it seem ripe for parody?  When you’re Emily Blunt in a terrible, GONE GIRL ripoff.  That’s how. - THE GIRL ON THE TRAIN

In a movie filled with the horrors of fraternity hazing rituals, none of that could hold a candle to the early sequence in which two strangers casually hitch a ride from our hero and insidiously transform that moment into something truly terrifying - THE GOAT

That final scene, in which two opposing forces have a choice of either killing each other or walking away, beautifully makes the point that the world is filled with enemies who have to figure out how to coexist - HELL OR HIGH WATER

To hear a recording of a casual, humorous conversation by one of the most abhorrent dictators of all time, North Korea’s Kim Jong Il, reminds us that true evil is sometimes covered up by incredible charm - THE LOVERS AND THE DESPOT

James Franco in crazy mode has become a cliche by now, but hearing him shout “No little bitches!” while he works out with his boyfriend, will always be the first thing that comes to mind when discussing this movie - KING COBRA

I still don’t know what it means.  Was he making fun of overweight women or celebrating them?  What does it have to do with the rest of the film?  Did Amy Adams protest having her name over one of those images?  There are the questions I asked myself as I watched the baffling but, sure, memorable opening credits - NOCTURNAL ANIMALS

One of the more humane moments in any film this year comes during a rotoscoped reenactment from a documentary in which a  pregnant student lies in a quad next to her dead boyfriend, who has been shot by a sniper.  A stranger makes her way to them and offers compassion and hope at a moment where both seemed to be lost for good - TOWER

This film didn’t have as big of an effect on me as I had hoped, but there’s no denying that Michelle Williams knows how to move you when she encounters her ex-husband (Casey Affleck) and fails at convincing him to have lunch - MANCHESTER BY THE SEA

I love it when usually reticent actors get a chance to blossom.  All it took for Jessica Chastain was the chance to stare down the camera to find her extremely confident voice - MISS SLOANE

People ask me all the time, “Hey Glenn!  Is a bad movie worth seeing if you get to see Chris Pratt’s butt?”  My answer is and will always be, “Only if your GOOGLE IMAGE search fails to deliver the goods” - PASSENGERS

Speaking of butts, it wouldn’t be inappropriate to ask “Did you see the ass on that tree?” after seeing this film - A MONSTER CALLS

We never learn her name or know anything about her, but a butch lesbian police officer (or at least that’s what I thought they were going for) refuses to budge from her vantage point of one of the Boston Marathon bombers when the FBI try to take over.  Yet another woman who steals this male-dominated movie away from her co-stars - PATRIOTS DAY