#my mind going in circles

[etherealfishyfeelings]

My Venus square Ascendant 1

I think the thing I loathe most about my Aries rising and jupiter is my constant need for stimulation. Things always need to be new and exciting and intense or I begin to get bored and extremely restless and that's not good. I really wish I had that Capricorn stamina to just keep going at things even when they're no longer shiny and new but being in the moment genuinely brings me so much joy and satisfaction. I function so much better when I'm allowed to be in the moment and just have a kind of north star to work toward, no real plan just adapting as I go along, but I really tend to admire the patience and diligence and attention to detail? that I tend to see in Capricorns(the healthy ones anyway). Like it isn't just a physical appearance thing I think, it's also the character vibe they give off. I want be seen as someone competent and level-headed and dare I say, unbothered, but I really just look like an energetic, impatient and really argumentative brat. It's giving estp/esfp even entp when I actually would like it to be giving entj/intj/istj/estj just a Te dom really(for anyone out there who knows anything about mbti.)

Because Venus rules values, its also the traits of the sign that I greatly admire and value but feel like I don't really live up to, I guess. And I haven't really found a way to blend the two signs at all, I either end up completely ignoring my Venus, acting like I have no interest in relationships, romantic or non-romantic, whatsoever or I make it my entire personality. Depends on the day. I usually make it my entire personality at work though(it's in the 10th conjunct my mc) and a lot of the time have to keep my work life extremely separate from my personal life in order to feel comfortable expressing it at all.(My mom, who also has Venus square Ascendant but her Venus is in the 4th, literally asks me why the hell so many people from school and work like me so much because at home and in general I'm a literal menace(she said this playfully but in general she does consider me to be pretty cold)) I've heard that a lot though, that planets in disharmonious aspect to the Ascendant, even semi-sextiles and inconjunctions, can really create this feeling of living a double life and it really does feel that way. I mean I made this blog so that I could freely talk about my feelings somewhere and not just have them bottled up and ready to explode. My Venus feels so separate from me that it barely feels like its mine. I'm so bad at venussing in my personal life that I almost put it on like a performance in my public life as some kind of way of making up for it. But I still feel like I'm absolutely awful at venussing. Being warm and soft irl even when I want to be feels so difficult.

[ribbittrobbit]

Ruvina, goddess of winter and sorrow

[cyra-kingg]

see no evil

(id in alt)

[thebrainrotsreal]

EVIL MARK, EVIL MARK, EVIL MARK!!! I want to be coherent about this season but please picture me foaming at the mouth and running on the walls. S2 being what if Mark's just like his Dad? Insanity. I love this show. Anyways, AU where an Evil!Mark tries to make Our!Mark worse, and Our!Mark tries to make the other better. Something something confronting your idea of the worst version of oneself. Plus, tweaked black and yellow costume because I saw it and immediately went murder hornet lookin' ass and knew I had to draw it. Evil ass Mark. Horrible. I think he should be dragged kicking and screaming into redemption.

[canisalbus]

I've had Ludovicas girlfriend on the brain for months and finally sketched her out. I see her as the opposite to machete in that she has dark colours and softer shapes. Her ears and facefur kinda blend together and she gets big soft browneyes..

.

[lonelyzarquon]

[writeshite]

i gnaw at my enclosure everytime you post.

I NEED TO BE FEEEEDDDD AAAAA

— [can i be] 🌎 anon [?]

“You’ve hardly changed.”

Astarion turns in surprise at the sound of your voice; it had been some years since he’d last seen you. He practically beams when he notices you, draping himself over you in glee, though it never quite reaches his eyes.

“And you’ve changed a lot. Did you miss me?” Astarion caresses your cheek, and you resist the urge to lean into the touch like so long ago. Instead, you slap his hand away and hold it far from your face.

“I’m not here for you, Astarion; I was called to Baldur’s Gate to deal with a rogue dryad.” You see the glee vanish and be instantly replaced by anger and jealousy.

“I did not ask what brought you here, I asked if you missed me,” Astarion states.

The ascension had twisted everything inside him, your attention was his and his alone, but unlike before where he’d mock pout, now he’d murder the person that stole your attention.

“I don’t have time for you Astarion,” you brush him aside, and his face darkens.

“Well, make time; I don’t like being ignored.” He reminds you, “Are you with someone? Did you replace me with some warm body to fuck?”

Your lack of response irritates him and lack of engagement in a conversation only prompts Astarion to follow you.

[ministarfruit]

local alley cat gets beaten up (colourised)

[fantasykiri5]

I don’t remember much from my dream last night other than that Goblin fWhip was there and for some reason he was wearing this. Honestly? I don’t entirely know what’s going on with it but it’s kind of a look.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Perhaps even,,, pink LaughingStock,,,,? 👀👀👀

ough....yeab....

[art-is-kayos]

Dream that I had

I only remember about half of the dream itself, nor have a done more than wikiskim ruina, so bare with me for this.

The general gist of it was the idea that X exists within the Library. Namely, in a subterranean floor of it that Angela first sent him to a short time before Roland first step foot in the Library.

Then the game happens and afterwards Angela decides to open the door, because otherwise she'd have that loose end for the rest of eternity.

However! Whilst the first to enter the Library was the X that successfully completed the Seed of Light, there were many more versions of him that came before, versions of him that began manifesting within the Library.

Each and every X from each and every loop or reset over time began to exsist within the Library, with some likening waking up and having to sort books for a reason they don't really get to waking up and having to manage a facility for a reason they don't really get, and promptly got to work.

Others, especially those who had loops cut short due to breakdowns or suicides or the like, did not cope so well. Dying and turning into anything from a paragraph or two to a couple of pages depending on how many days they managed to complete as manager. They would always be brought back shortly, much to their chargrin.

Many, in fact, have less than positive words to say about Angela, though day 50 X never told them about Angela's betrayl since it would make pretty much everything worse almost impressively quickly. Though, the amount each of them knew would vary, influencing their behaviour. The ones who kicked it earlier on would be more biased towards Angie whilst those that had their journeys stopped at Abram would be greif stricken, for example.

Regardless, Angela finds them all and just kind of has to deal with that. I do not have much else to say as most of my day/dreams are mostly just 'hey wouldn't that be fucked or what' with little else.

Have a good day, none of these people are. ^.^

[hardly-an-escape]

underrated 7.04 moment is when Buck slides in that little mumbled comment about how Eddie’s day calendar is on the fridge under a takeout menu.

like. Buck. Evan. babe. how deep was that calendar buried? how hard did you have to look for this information?

[ingravinoveritas]

New Insta story from Georgia. Because nothing screams "supportive spouse" like "Can't wait to see you lose"...

[kirkwallguy]

still can't stop thinking about the fact that they have demigenders in tevinter but if you're in ferelden you're still using medieval euphemisms for being gay. there are some extremely funny situations to put several characters in

[even-in-arcadia]

@saints-who-never-existed I hope you don't mind me continuing this here but your tags! This started as a ramble in my own tags on that gifset but then it got very long and then I realized that I was no longer talking about Morfin & Tozer & Silna. So I'm putting it here in a seperate post because that moment is SO good, the beauty of the clarity and understanding that passes there, and I didn't want to take away from that post.

But I have been trying for a while to figure where Goodsir falls in this turning of mercy. It never ever occurred to me that Goodsir's panic attack might be more than just the visceral grief of seeing his patient in such pain that he, a doctor, is incapable of curing, and the trauma of him being so violently killed at such close quarters. But on top of that!! Now must he reckon with the fact that he has been prolonging this man's life and suffering (and again, Goodsir doesn't know what Morfin knew about Lt Fairholme) only to bring him to such a cataclysm and end: and that this makes him entirely re-evaluate his concepts of mercy, of compassion, and what it means to truly provide relief! Of the value of his entire profession as he has understood and practiced it! Does he feel complicit in Morfin's death? In the manner of it? As you say, no wonder he had a panic attack! How does he reckon with the fact that Tozer, a marine (and probably not someone he cares for), is ultimately the one who is able to understand and give to Morfin the only true mercy possible in the circumstances?

So when Gibson comes to him with scurvy and asks what to expect: he tells him the brutal, plain truth of it with no offer of comfort or hope, not even a softness in his tone. Because he is angry, but also because that is a different kind of mercy. He spent so long telling Morfin there was hope, there were options, but he was wrong. It all came to this horror, to his patient literally begging for death.

And is this what brings him to the point of being able not just to contemplate but to carry out his suicide & murder? Because the Goodsir of the first nine episodes might have killed Hickey, but he also must know that many of those men are in that camp out of fear and desperation and even chance and are complicit but not Guilty in the way that Hickey is. Does he think he's freeing them, or punishing them, or both? Does it mean that for him mercy has ceased to be a concept of value or meaning in these circumstances?

Anyway, that's what's rattling around in my head now.

[here-comes-the-moose]

Ummm… so what does it mean if someone looked at over half of their family members (most of which are on one side), themselves included, and have thought “oh that sounds a lot like Tech or like something Tech would do or gives off Tech vibes”?

I’m not asking for a friend.