#my mind body and soul feel like they're going to combust

[radio-ghost-cooks]

*frothing at the mouth* i have to leave my nice cozy bedroom bc COLLEGE

[atlasifyllm]

whisper to me your deepest thoughts

admit that i'm the only thing you ever forgot

the house is rigged with bombs and i'm about to combust

sinking realization you left me in dust

i'm waiting for you to save me this time

but it feels you made up your mind

mourn the child that died that night

claim he's gone and seen the light

but i'll crawl out of my grave to let you know

your forgetfulness should be overthrown

you left me behind, my only trusted superior

threw me away like i remained your inferior

scarred and burned, both mind and body

hunting you down in pools and hotel lobbies

hurt and betrayal is all what's left in this soul

hatred and vengeance is what makes me whole

you could choose night and day, my innocence to go away

you didn't expect me to come back, to your own dismay

one day i'll return the favor you promised

haunt your memories till they're constantly amiss

do you regret killing me, my first and only hero?

because i regret meeting you: my own personal death row

[theangrypokemaniac]

Normal Raichu's tail serves as a ground to avoid auto-shock, meaning this one is constantly frazzled from its own voltage.

Doesn't carrying his fat self hurt? Are they tears of liquid gold welling up from the strain?

Or is it the punishing light ever reflected, burning his black eyes blue and blind?

The modern obsession with softness, of symbolically filing down all corners as a message of intent, gets right on me wick.

Raichu had sharp ears and a jagged tail, being, you know, a bolt of lightning, but now he's as swollen and inflated as a balloon animal.

And what are these visible veins in his paws? Is he tapping 'em like Amy Winehouse in her bloodied-ballet-pump prime?

So 'getting high' doesn't mean levitation?

Hours of work went into this drastic image change of the same thing but with three hairs.

The Pokédex says he prefers a subterranean life, wilting under excessive heat, rendering him entirely suitable to thrive in the tropics.

Diglett's become a slaphead concealing the truth with an unconvincing comb-over.

Oh no! How shall I live in such a savage climate?

I know! Blond frizz in the midst of brown fur! That'll block heatstroke!

Dugtrio once featured in many a budding Trainer's squad, so beloved was Dig as the finest move around.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

If hairy moles made the final games, what horrors were rejected?

Such beauty in the Kardashian family.

Sweaty proximity of triplets is a trial itself, but consider all the strands coming loose, wedged and itching in the crevices, yanked right from the roots by constant friction, wrapping round their necks like cheese wire, and you unable to brush the damp cascade away, on account of having No Bloody Arms.

Oooh, make yer beady eyes weep, it would, and Dugtrio daren't move in case it slits throats like razor blades.

Born to die garotting himself and all those he knows!

That's why Oasis were so furious.

Plus, Geodude carrying eight hairs gives the opposite impression: that of a baldy desperately clinging on to the last paltry vestiges of a once-crowning glory.

It'll be those iron filings you always see lying about.

There Geodude and Graveler go, ready to flaunt hirsute manliness to their bearded womenfolk, only for it to involve social disgrace in the shape of gorilla arms, sideburns, and monobrows.

Why stop there? Why are they not coated in spines like a furled hedgehog?

Now magnetic, iron ravished their bodies, meaning they also share the pain of moles in sprouting a wig.

But they're Electric, not Steel. Nature avenged Pikachu by removing their invincibility.

And that molten sun's only gone and fused their fingers together!

Geodude salvaged a single digit, but Graveler's gotta make do with mittens!

What hope for mere fleshy beings, when Alola weather melts stone?

It's gonna boil yer inter soup, man!

Even Pa, master of the art, would look enviously on such achievement.

That said, I feel for Lady Golems having a shave every morning.

A diet of electrical rocks somehow erased the Ground element, and with it the resistance enabling Golem to eat 'em in the first place.

But didn't he have more toes than that? And some arms?

Of the three, Golem boasts the best sense of style, proudly displaying a hairy shell passing for a chest, besides a most debonair moustache.

Oh! Removing his earthly powers now makes him vulnerable to electrocution. It's blackened and blown bits of him off!

How's Golem meant to go wee-wee with malformed stumps?!

That's not claws, that's the jagged splinters of his humerus bones.

Marowak died during evolution. Must've got bone cancer from all the radioactive Muks slithering about.

It's based on the ghost from Pokémon Tower.

Quaint bit of euphemism, using 'based' rather than 'ripped off'. Yer'd burst if troubled with an original idea.

Ah, memories: traipsing up the many levels of said stacked sepulchre, brandishing me trusty Silph Scope, ready to tackle whatever spectre blocked the stairs to the summit.

He's got No Bloody Arms!

There I becalmed Marowak's anger as her soul passed to Heaven.

It was special.

Well that's gone. Turns out Marowak was sucked into the septic tank of Alola instead.

Bit of a downer, assuming I'd gifted eternity, only for this humdrum retcon to saunter up, stripping away the mystery.

Has she not suffered enough, man?!

Anyway...

How can one murder matter to the breed living thousands of miles away?

And up til then, all Alolan Marowak looked normal, then mutated in tasteless tribute, with their weapons spontaneously combusting?

UV rays will be the death of us!

The bone wielded is from its mother. Her spirit acts as protection.

Eh? But Ghost Marowak was the dead mom. She can't be both bereaved child and maternal avenger, else Cubone didn't just lose Ma, but Nana too!

In my day we were happy with the simple pleasures, like wearing Momma's head, and we were glad of it.

I don't know why Millennials have a prissy reputation. It certainly wasn't like that in me youth.

I well recall sitting in the back of Pa T.A.P.'s car, looking out the window, and seeing two lads playing catch with a human skull, since we had to make our own entertainment then.

But oh no, that's not good enough for today's entitled kids, they dug up Momma's mouldering corpse and rifled through her vitals, because it's just take, take, take with them.

And what bone is that meant to be, so casually set alight? Femur?

How bloody big was she, man?! It's longer than Marowak's entire body!

Don't you lie to me! That's a human leg if ever I saw it.

Eee, it ain't half hot.

You can say that again.

I wish I knew a way to cool down.

Well I find growing another head outta me arse does the business.

Exeggutor shot up via the sunshine overload, but his bonus coconut is green, unable to ripen thanks to extreme temperatures.

Marowak's been raiding hospital bins for amputated limbs!

Make yer mind up!

All this time, Exeggutor's suffered a secret head in his arse, just bustin' to be free, and I was none the wiser?

Yer think yer know someone, and then BAM! It's upon yer: illusions shattered.

Am I to understand Proper Exeggutor's walking around belaboured by arse coconuts?

Yer can get cream for that. Modern medicine is a miracle.

And it's buried for eternity, unless exposed to equatorial light?

But that's precisely where the sun don't shine!

I assumed two Exeggcute merged into one face, but this is a sign the remaining couple are secreted somewhere.

Specifically in his arse.

Poor Exeggutor hasn't completed puberty yet. If we linger we may well witness the emergence of the final duo to complete the sextet.

Out of his arse.

Many Alolans consider this its ideal form.

I bet they do. Perverts.

Besides haemorrhoids, it's not so ideal when Eggy can't fit in the living room and has to sleep outside, or its neck snaps during hurricane season.

O Game Freak, thou knows not what thee do!

[shizuzuzuku]

aaa would you mind doing something fluffy where Kaname's s/o tells either Chiduru or Tatara that one of the best parts of their day is when they're able to watch Kaname practice / preform. Bonus points if Kaname hears about his s/o's confession and teases them. You're doing gods work my friend, keep up the gr8 job!!

“Damn.”Chiduru paused for a second from drinking water and looked at you.“I’m sorry..?”“It’s just..”You sighed, eyes fixed on the two ripe apples shimmying and jiving in front of you.“It should be illegal to be that sexy.”Chiduru followed your eyes until she landed on the owner of those apples and started laughing.“Kaname-chan would probably combust if he heard you say that.”You chuckled, eyes still unmoving. You watched as Kaname made smooth transitions from chassés into natural turns and couldn’t help but notice the way the silvery drops of sweat that defined his artisan-chiseled chest even more than normal.“Just look at those biceps… and those bulging quads.”“You’re drooling a bit.” Chiduru laughed.“Not to mention that perfect ass.. geez, I’m gonna hit that so hard when we get home.”Right after that statement left your lips, a soft crash drew you and Chiduru’s attention behind you. There, you saw a mortified, blushing Tatara who had just dropped his water bottle. Chiduru erupted with more laughter as you, yourself began to blush.“T-Tatara-kun!!”The poor boy tensed further at the mention of his name.“I-I-I’m s-s-sorry!! I’ll get the mop to clean this up!”“Ah let me get it!” You reassured him.“Yeah she needs it for her drool.” Chiduru chimed, accompanied by laughter.“Not helping!!” You growled.Less than a second later another voice joins the conversation.“What’s going on here?” Kaname looks around at Chiduru’s overly amused face and Tatara’s soul leave by his body.“Nothing!” You answer quickly.“We’re cleaning up drool.” Chiduru adds.“Drool..?”“Don’t worry about it! Are you done? Let’s get going! I’ll get your stuff!”You ramble on.After another boisterous half hour at Ogasawara Studioa you finally managed to drag Kaname out.Halfway through your journey home Kaname breaks your peaceful silence.“I might be getting arrested.”You look up at him in utter confusion.“Huh?”“I mean.. it’s just that I’m so sexy..”You immediately began making mental notes of how you would kill Chiduru later.“Who woulda thunk that having such fantastic biceps would be so bad?”“Can you just… not?” You say giving a most agitated look.“Oh I’m sorry.. weren’t you gonna hit, and I quote, this perfect ass when we got home?”You a felt a twinge of lust at his words but refused to show it.“I don’t recall.” You say sashaying ahead of him.You could feel his eyes tracing your very silhouette and you knew you had him where you wanted him when he sneaks up behind you and pinches your own ass.“Race you home.”“Fine. But that won’t establish anything besides the fact that you come first.”You enunciate the last part of your statement slowly and seductively while looking the tall man in front of you dead in the eye.You take off in front of him once again.“Looks like I’ll be placing second tonight.”