#my micro professor referred to norovirus as “the taco bell trots” and i about died too

[itslenagain]

In honor of norovirus spreading again I wanted to share highlights from the absolute bonkers presentation I did on it for my clinical microbiology class

I wrote this while I was running on 3 hours of sleep, 3 energy drinks, and a goddamn DREAM. I had a vision. I wanted to write a presentation so bizarre yet so informative that my micro professor would congratulate me for winning at virology. I became obsessed with one specific stock image.

I mean, look at it.

Look at that stock image.

Why does this exist. How does this exist. "Man holding butt" is a stock image. Beautiful. No notes.

That was gold, but the really great part of the presentation? Where those energy drink-fueled ADHD thoughts turned into this masterpiece.

Why all the tacos, you ask? Well. Here's how I explained the transmission of norovirus. (semi-word for word idk I was tired)

"So imagine this, okay? It's December 26 and you're hungry. None of the leftovers are speaking to you. You decide to go visit your pal Jimmy who works at Taco Bell. Now, Jimmy tried to call out of work today. He told his boss he has had epic hershey squirts all morning and also puked a bunch. Jimmy's boss is an asshole though, and told Jimmy he better come to work or else. So Jimmy is behind the counter making tacos in between boughts of diarrhea that could kill an elephant. You roll up to the drive thru looking for a Cheesy Gordita Crunch. Jimmy forgot to wash his hands after he caused a public health incident in the employee bathroom, and now he's putting his toilet hands all over your food. You eat it. Later, at home, you are laying on your couch with stomach cramps and you can't stop pooping. But, you think to yourself, I ate Taco Bell today, so this is normal. BUT, that's what norovirus wants you to think! So you're nasty and you're destroying the bathroom at your house. Norovirus is super infectious and survives, like, everything, so now you have unintentionally given your whole family apocalyptic diarrhea. All because of capitalism."

Enjoy.