#my man is bad at communicating but Iβm gon stick beside himπ«‘
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πΌπ. & πΌππ. π΄πππ_ _ _ππππππππππππππ?_πππππππ..___. . . .
SΝEΝTΝ AΝNΝYΝTΝIΝMΝEΝ BΝEΝFΝOΝRΝEΝ EΝPΝIΝSΝOΝDΝEΝ 5
ππππππππ: πππππππ, πππππππ, πππ’πππ, πππππ, ππππππ ππ ππππ ππππππ πππ, πππππ’ ππππππππππ, πππππ ππ πππππππππ πππππππππ πππ ππππ, ππππ’ π°ππ΄ ππ ππππ πππ ππππππ πππ πππππ, π ππ πππππ πππ πΉπππ ππ’ πππ πππππ
@missusnora @eleanorbaybars
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βjust give me a reason, just a little bitβs enough. just a second; weβre not broken just bent and we can learn to love againβ¦β
You never thought youβd see yourselves like this.
βNO! NO MORE DODGING THIS! WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?!β
It should have never come to this.
βIβM RIGHT HERE IF YOU WOULD JUST LOOK AT ME! DAMNNIT WOMAN!β
Butβ¦it had to happen. The tension so tight, it finally snapped.
βYouβre not because I AM looking at you, and I can see that youβre here but you arenβt here with me! You havenβt been for weeks!β
It was a normal day. He had a rare day off and you two were together so everything was supposed to be perfect. Onlyβ¦it wasnβt. For weeks, everytime you spoke, everytime you were able to be together, even when you would glimpse him; heβd be so close but so far.
You knew he was hurting.
Over the lost boys, over Curt, over the despondence that the higher ups seemed to have with him, over his own internal griefs, struggles, and hopes. But with all his hurtβ¦came a distance.
Acting like everything was okay. Heβd be there in the moment but he didnβt live in it like he used to. He didnβt talk about it so you wouldnβt bring it up. Most times, he was so far it felt like it wasnβt even listening to you.
Now, thereβs a gap where your bond was. And it keeps getting bigger and bigger with everything you donβt say to each other.
Today was the last straw.
Talking to him and seeing that distance in his eyes while he stayed silentβ¦
βDo you even still love me?!β
Hot tears run down your face as you stand in the living room barefoot. Looking up at him, your greatest love and hardest pain.
At first it was just anger, throwing the heels on your feet at him in the beginning, the screaming, frustration. But at this point? You were just tired and hurt of having to miss someone whoβs right there.
ββ¦What?β The question comes out hushed. John looking down at you in crestfallen disbelief, glassy blue eyes and furrowed brows.
You donβt think he loves you anymore?
βYou think I donβt love you? Doll,β panic and desperation seep into him and it shows. Looking and sounding so pained that you canβt bear to look at him anymore. Teardrops stream from your face and hit the floor as you drop your head.
βYouβre with me. I have you. But why do I still feel alone if I have you?β Your voice is shaking so bad but this needs to come out.
βItβs like I lost you to the war already with how hollow youβve become. You wonβt let me in. When I talk, itβs like you canβt hear me. You wonβt let me comfort you. You wonβt even reach out to Gale. Just retreating back into your thoughts that canβt possibly care for you the way I doβ¦itβs like my John left and Iβm stuck with his ghost.β The wave of held back emotions drown you and you wail, unbidden sobs wracking your body before John gently takes your face into his big, warm hands.
The familiarity of his touch makes your heart ache. You donβt even notice immediately that he was crying too. His silent tears cutting you to pieces.
John cries because itβs true. He has been in a weird place lately and he canβt seem to find his way out. Heβs not good at not being the leader so he doesnβt know how to let others step in to help him when he needs it. So, he drowns himself in his thoughts, doubts, and regrets. Lets the distance heβs created hurt him some more. Because, heβs used to hurt. Untilβ¦it starts to hurt more than usual.
Until it ends up hurting you.
Nothing is allowed to hurt you. Youβre one of the reasons he serves.
Bucky has seen so many things that can hurt you. He should have never let one of them be him.
βIβm so sorry bunnyβ. Bucky canβt take you crying. Your little hiccuping sobs are killing him. Closeness. Closeness, is what you both need right now. So, he doesnβt even bother with formalities before lifting you up into him. Wrapping your legs around his waist and tucking your head into his neck. He rests his cheek against the top of your head, wraps his big arm around you as he holds you, cries with you, and apologizes.
βIβm sorry. Iβm so, so sorry. Iβm an ass. Youβre right. I havenβt been here and none of that is your fault. But it is my fault for letting you feel this way. For making you feel like I donβt love you, when I do. I love you more than sleeping in, I love you more than winning, I love you more than every life I lived before.β The soft, low timbre of his voice makes you warm, like a soothing balm listening to him finally come back to you.
βYouβre not alone because you do have me and Iβm not alone because I have you. If Iβm not anywhere else, the one place Iβll always be is in your heart. Iβll try harder to open up so we can be even closer. Nothing could ever compare to come close to your affection so donβt ever stop trying to reach me, okay? Even when the line is connected, stay on it, okay?β This is the most heβs bared himself to you and you bury yourself into him more.
ββ¦okay..I love you too, Bucky.β Barely a whisper but he hears you. Pressing kisses all over the top of your head until you lift it to look into his eyes.
Time seems slower as you gravitate towards each other, eyes slipping closed when your lips meet in a tender kiss.
You missed him so much.
Itβs perfect. The way your lips fit together, pushing before colliding back to one another. Breathing in the softness of your mouth, Bucky deepens the kiss. Holding the back of your head, you completely melt into him as light, wet sounds accompanied by picked up breaths; fill you and the atmosphere with pure warmth.
Bucky struggles to pull away first because he knows how heβll get. Heβs aching to make you feel better in any way he can but now really is not the time to let comfort to give way to passion.
βI missed you, bunnyβ. He presses his forehead to yours but the lovely way he speaks to you makes you blush. Suddenly feeling. . . shy.
βI missed you tooβ, voice as soft as you feel. Bucky readjusts you in his arms before heading towards the stairs.
βWell, letβs fix that. So we wonβt have to miss each other when weβre togetherβ.
βJohn Clarence Egan- !β
If he thinks heβs gonna cuddle and sweet talk his way into your panties after that fight, heβs dead right. (not standing on business at ALL)
βI meant; we could talk, bunny. Yβknow, really catch up. Just want you with me, on everything this time.β
Oh.
Okay.
He means you two can bond.
The thought of that kind of intimacy in conversation; and with him, makes you love giddy as you practically purr in agreement, nodding your head.
Kissing the top of your head, Bucky carries you up to your shared bedroom. Happy that you two are going to be okay and that youβre staying with him; because with you is where his heart belongs.
Safe, with you.
#callum turner#callum turner x reader#masters of the air#mota#john egan#john egan x reader#john bucky egan#bucky egan#bucky egan x reader#fluff#angst#comfort#my man is bad at communicating but Iβm gon stick beside himπ«‘#john bucky egan x reader
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