#my love for ace attorney just sprang back up

[teecupangel]

Once upon a time, in a quaint village nestled amidst rolling hills, there lived a small and determined bird named Pip. Pip was not an ordinary bird; he possessed a unique ability to understand human language. One day, a kind-hearted villager approached Pip with a letter clutched tightly in their hand.

"This letter," the villager said, "must reach the Alchemist who lives in a distant land, far beyond the mountains and across the vast ocean. I trust in your remarkable gift, Pip. Will you deliver it for me?"

Pip chirped in agreement, his tiny wings quivering with excitement. With the letter carefully secured in a small pouch around his neck, Pip took off into the sky, his feathers catching the warm rays of the sun.

Through wind and rain, Pip soared across boundless landscapes, crossing forests, rivers, and valleys. His wings carried him tirelessly, and his determination never wavered. He encountered diverse landscapes, each holding its own beauty and challenges.

As Pip ventured into unknown territories, he encountered other birds who provided him with guidance and companionship. They shared stories of their own journeys and offered advice on how to navigate through treacherous storms and unfamiliar territories.

Days turned into weeks, and Pip's little body grew weary, but he refused to give up. His devotion to delivering the letter and fulfilling his mission fueled his spirit. His wings grew stronger, and his resolve deepened.

Finally, after a long and arduous flight, Pip arrived at the destination—a bustling city in the faraway land. The sights, sounds, and scents overwhelmed him, but he stayed focused on his task. He searched for the address written on the letter and found himself standing before a door.

Pip gently dropped the letter on the doorstep and let out a melodious chirp, hoping someone inside would notice. The door opened and out came the Alchemist. Curiosity piqued, they opened it and began to read the heartfelt words within.

Touched by the message, the recipient of the letter smiled and thanked the Pip who flew back to the village.

Inside it says: "Assassin's Creed x Ace Attorney Au with Harem for Desmond because I'm trash".

The alchemist watched the little bird fly away and wondered why they had never tried to employ a creature of their own to ferry their mail.

Only for a mirthless smile to appear on their face as they remembered the eldritch horror that slipped out of their cauldron when they first tried to synthesize a living creature with the use of a red stone.

Yeeaaahhh.

The alchemist would be sticking to asking the courier to send the daily mail for now.

… until they have managed to create another red stone with 999 quality… then they’d try again.

Maybe.

The alchemist closed the door and picked up a small cauldron from the stack of clean small cauldrons by the door. They placed the letter inside the cauldron and they were about to place it by the fire when they saw a puff of magenta smoke coming from the small cauldron currently on the fire. They took the piece of letter from the cauldron and placed it by the table before standing by the fire, exchanging the cauldrons. As the cauldron heated and be slowly filled by liquid of endless possibility, the alchemist placed the other cauldron on the table and took out the pair of sai with a magenta shine to the blade in their hands from the inside of the cauldron. After inspecting it was of good quality, the alchemist placed it on the box marked as ‘daily deliveries’.

The alchemist walked towards their chest to pick up some materials to include in this synthesis, wondering if they still have any taco shells left.

========= Actual Answer Portion =========

Now, the usual setup would be to kick Desmond into taking the defense attorney role as the main character but I say let’s spice things up a bit.

Desmond isn’t the defense attorney nor is he the main character of this idea…

He’s the defense attorney’s assistant who has the ability to channel spirits for a few brief seconds or so and so unlucky he becomes a suspect in a murder at least once every year XD

That’s right!

In this idea, Desmond will be our Maya Fey!

(mainly because the whole Maya getting possessed by her sister at times would be this AU’s equivalent to the Bleeding Effect)

As for the main defense attorney, we’re going for Shaun because he’s smart enough to be an attorney, his conspiracy theorist side would work well to make this wackier than it should be if we had a purely straight man (hehe) as our defense attorney, and Shaun gets to suffer thru his assistant getting a harem while he’s just trying to do his job.

Now, with that out of the way, let’s talk about the setup.

So, for this one, Shaun would be a newly badged (yeah, yeah, we’re sticking to Ace Attorney’s legal system which is based on the Japanese legal system) defense attorney and his boss helps him on his first case.

The first case was simple enough and his boss even complements him, telling him that he has more potential than his sorry excuse for a son.

Then…

The following morning, Shaun learns his boss has been murdered, and the number one suspect?

Desmond Miles, the murdered Defense Attorney William Miles’ runaway son.

(I’m sorry, Mia. I wish I could give you a better counterpart in this one but Bill was an easy target.)

So Shaun meets up with Desmond and, this time, there’s a bit of animosity between them because Shaun saw Bill as a good father-figure while Desmond thinks his old man was a bastard thru and thru (maybe give hints that Desmond running away changed Bill for the better and stuff) but Shaun trusts his gut instincts and thinks Desmond is innocent so he takes the case.

During the case itself, just when Shaun is losing hope and can’t find the evidence (or the anomaly) to show Desmond’s innocence, Desmond talks to him in a different tone and a deeper voice, telling him to look at the murder weapon once more. This makes Shaun realize that the murder weapon had a blood stain by the hilt which was strange all on its own since it’s right smack in the middle of how the murdered would have held the weapon.

The blood turned out to be the killer’s who had nicked their palm during the attack due to Bill fighting back and this was the smoking gun that exonerated Desmond.

By then though, Desmond’s face has been plastered quite a bit in the news and people in his last job as a bartender recognized him so he had to quit. He joins the new Hastings & Co. Law Offices as Shaun’s assistant.

And that’s when Shaun’s misery began.

Because…

No matter what personality they had or how unapproachable they were, the prosecutors going against Shaun will always… always… fall in love with Desmond during the case.

It’s a curse.

It’s a goddamn curse.

That was the only way Shaun could see it.

Desmond was both a catnip for murder allegations, hauntings (Shaun was pretty sure he was being haunted by the ancestor that Bill once told Shaun had been the very first Miles to be a defense attorney), and the weirdest most aggravating prosecutors out there.

And thus, starts Shaun’s journey into becoming the best defense attorney… while having first front seats to the court ‘drama’ harem story of his assistant.

Unorganized Notes:

The spirit possessing Desmond at times to help Shaun is his ancestor from his father’s side, Aquilus. Legend says he had spoken for those being prosecuted on their behalf during Ancient Roman times but… well… there’s no real evidence he even exists.

Desmond’s channeling capabilities come from his mother’s side who died when he was young. She was a branch family member of the Fey Clan (although we can change the name if you want, I think it would be a neat shoutout/reference) and Desmond has been ignored by the clan since psychic powers only truly manifest in females. Desmond’s channeling is restricted to one ‘ghost’ so, yeah, he’s ignored by his mother’s clan and some even suggest that he’s faking it since William Miles had been training him to be a lawyer since he was a kid so he actually knows more law than a lay person and is quite observant even though he usually pretends to be a just a ‘pretty face’.

Rebecca works in the office as their tech ‘guy’. This is one of her many side gigs and she only comes to the office once a week to check that Shaun and Desmond haven’t destroyed any of the tech she set up for them. She and Shaun have a thing going on and it’s not clear if it’s gonna lead to something romantic or it’s purely platonic but their closeness makes people just think that they have a thing going on.

Now… It’s time for Shaun’s main antagonists… and Desmond’s harem!

Altaïr: the first main prosecutor that got onto Shaun’s nerve. He believes he’s the best and, goddamn it, Shaun was mature enough to admit that he was certainly one of the best prosecutors he’d had the displeasure of having to ‘fight’. And, yeah, sure, Shaun would find some amusement in seeing Altaïr be all awkward around Desmond but he had just assumed that it was because Desmond was weird and so out of place in court that Shaun didn’t blame Altaïr at all for acting that way. Then… the case ended (which he won by the way, suck it, Altaïr!) and Shaun had to watch with building horror as Altaïr awkwardly asks Desmond out after the whole speech of ‘it was unprofessional for me to do this during the case’ and all that blah blah and Shaun horrifyingly realized that Altaïr hadn’t been weirded or confused by Desmond… he had been making goo-goo eyes with Desmond while trying to not make goo-goo eyes and… Shaun really thought Altaïr just looked both confused and maybe a bit constipated! How was he supposed to know those were his ‘trying to hide it’ goo-goo eyes??? Altaïr’s assistant Kadar was no help, just giving Shaun a thumbs up as if he and Shaun were both on the same side and was supporting this horrifying situation.

Ezio Auditore came from a rich family but, after his father was wrongfully accused of espionage (What.), he became a lawyer, seemingly to take down as many corrupt government officials as he could get. Shaun had taken the job because he truly believed Monsieur de la Serre (no, really, he wanted to be called monsieur, dear lord) wasn’t corrupt. Unlike Altaïr (who Desmond was still dating, Shaun would like to stress), Ezio had no qualms about flirting with Desmond the entire time they were on court… and off the court. Shaun has no idea just how ‘exclusive’ Desmond and Altaïr were and, Shaun cannot stress this enough, Shaun would not like to know at all. Even after Monsieur de la Serre had been acquitted (of course), Ezio would be sending gifts in their office with small poems (and, one time, an actual oil painting of Desmond which Desmond found to be quite touching but Shaun only found it really, really creepy) attached to them for Desmond. Then he heard Rebecca and Desmond talking about how he has a date with Ezio tonight and he’d be picking him up in his apartment but Altaïr wants to meet Ezio first before they go and… at that point, Shaun had hidden in his office because, nope, not gonna touch that. Absolutely not!

Shaun’s next misfortunate came twofold. He had decided to take on the case of Connor- fine, Desmond- the case of Ratonhnhaké:ton who was the prime suspect in the murder of one Charles Lee. And the prosecutor? Haytham Kenway, a veteran prosecutor who many believe would become a judge a year or so from now. So, everything was proceeding well enough. Shaun has gotten used to Altaïr’s unannounced visits and Ezio’s gifts that seeing Ratonhnhaké:ton stealing glances and looking down whenever Desmond smiles at him? Shaun was zen. Shaun was like the ocean. Seeing the way Haytham Kenway’s eyes ablaze not from anger whenever his eyes would meet Desmond? Shaun was zen. Shaun was like the ocean. Learning that Ratonhnhaké:ton and Haytham were actually father and son who didn’t know they were related at all and framing Ratonhnhaké:ton had been one big elaborate plan by a father wishing vengeance against Haytham who prosecuted his only son which led to said son’s death? Shaun was NOT zen. Nope! And, for once, it wasn’t Desmond’s fault!

The next on Shaun’s growing ‘I don’t wanna know, Desmond, I really don’t’ list was Haytham’s older brother, Edward Kenway, who looked and acted like the type of man who’d be in a lot of trouble with the law. But nooooo. He was also a prosecutor and… at this point, Shaun just wanted to get away from the Kenway drama. Oh, and they were now employing Ratonhnhaké:ton as their muscles because… Desmond told Shaun he needs a job while he’s looking for a new place to live (Shaun was sure he was living with Desmond at the moment and, last time Shaun had unfortunately eavesdropped on Desmond and Rebecca, Desmond was officially living with Altaïr so… Shaun does not know and doesn’t want to know what Ratonhnhaké:ton’s real living situation is)

Sidebar: if we aim to give Altaïr the Miles Edgeworth treatment: his foster father (Rashid) is the one who killed his father when Altaïr was young.

Other harem candidates + Shaun’s ‘enemies’:

Shay works for ‘Kenway & Kenway’ (no, really, that’s the name of the law firm, it was Edward’s idea, ssiigghh) and would be against Shaun who would represent one Hope Jensen who allegedly poisoned an entire warehouse filled with employees of Starrick Industries. Shay used to be a defense attorney but he became a prosecutor after a falling out with his old law firm ‘Davenport & Co’.

Arno is a new prosecutor but he’s quickly getting notoriety for being very hands-on, going to crime scenes and doing his own investigations. Police officers either like him or hate him for that, there is no in-between when it comes to how the police officers see Arno. Arno’s also a bit of a flirt and Shaun is getting Ezio vibes from him. From the way Desmond acts around him, Shaun knows Desmond finds him cute… and Shaun hates the fact that he’s been in this hell long enough that he can understand when Desmond finds someone cute already. Oh. And Arno was the prosecutor against Shaun’s client Mirabeau… and apparently the ex of Monsier de la Serre’s daughter? Shaun… doesn’t want to know.

Jacob Frye… was the prime murder suspect actually… of a fire that killed kids. He was also very, very mum about the entire thing which was suspicious. The prosecutor to his case was his own twin sister, Evie Frye, which Shaun believed should not happen but Evie managed to convince the judge that she plans to uphold the law regardless if it was against her twin and Shaun really doesn’t want to get into this family drama. He was just starting to be able to ignore the Kenway family drama happening with his assistant, damn it! Anyway, Jacob is innocent (of course) and Shaun managed to find the real culprit… only to find out later that Evie had been the one to send that envelope of cash that asks them to take Jacob as their client and… oh. Jacob’s fine. He’s already flirting with Desmond behind Evie as Shaun and her continue to talk. Siiigghhh. (Evie can also be part of the harem if you want)

Okay, so we have a lot of candidates for the job of judge (hell, we can make it different judges as well if you want) and my primary candidates would be the Layla Trilogy main characters: Bayek (who would be fair but also get into the craziness with the look of a tired man that had to deal with a lot of cats one time), Kassandra (she did become Dikastes for a bit in Atlantis) but I think Alexios would fit better because he feels more like the type to get super invested as a bystander in all these court dramas and can make the funniest dumb faces, and Eivor (she was jarlskona). You know who else would be great as a judge? Clay. Clay would absolutely love the chaos. XD

[liquidthedefunctblog]

Ace Attorney- The Miracle of the pancake-burger

An Ace Attorney fanfic in which Maya invades Nick's kitchen. Can I write Pancake Day fanfiction almost two weeks afterwards? Why yes, yes I can. Set after T&T, but ignoring the mention of Maya being 19 it works anywhere. Pearls isn't there because I didn't want to write her. Italics represent Phoenix's thoughts.

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Phoenix stood in front of the mirror, desperately trying to get his hair into its usual position. Maya was scheduled to be coming back from a two-week training course in the Kurain Village today; so since he was not working on any cases at the moment, he had decided to meet her at the train station. After finally getting his hair back into its traditional spikes, he straightened his tie, walked to the door and turned the doorknob.

Phoenix practically did a double take when he opened the door. This reaction was provoked specifically by the sight of a 19 year old girl wearing a purple spirit channeling outfit and clutching a white plastic bag. More specifically yet, it was provoked by the sight of Maya Fey.

"M- MAYA!"

Maya put her hands together just below her face and nodded.

"Hey Nick!"

Phoenix straightened his tie once more as he regained his composure.

"I thought we were going to meet at the train station in an hour?"

"I needed to pick up some stuff so I took an earlier train."

Maya held out the plastic bag as though anticipating Nick to take it.

"Y'know what happened while I was gone?"

Phoenix took the bag from Maya's hand, taking a moment to inspect its contents.

Milk, flour, eggs... Wait, is she talking about Shrove Tuesday?

He directed his attention back to Maya, staring silently for a moment.

"...Maya neither of us are Christians."

The young medium recoiled at the statement, a look of shock plastered on her face.

"Wha... what does Jesus have to do with Pancake Day?!"

Phoenix's shoulders sagged, disappointed but not surprised at her true reason for being here.

"Of course... how could I think you were doing this out of anything other than pure gluttony..."

Maya puffed out her cheeks furiously as she held her clenched hands in front of her face.

"Shut up! They don't let us celebrate Pancake Day in the Kurain Village. Something about 'freeing yourself from desire'. Well I desire pancakes Nick, and you're going to help me make them!"

Phoenix grimaced nervously at the intensity of Maya's words.

"Okay, okay. Let me just-"

"Great! Thanks Nick," Maya shouted excitedly, as she grabbed the plastic bag from his hand and ran out to the kitchen.

That settles it. She's paying the gas bill this month.

Phoenix took a slow walk over to the kitchen, looking down at the mud Maya has tracked into his apartment.

"Maya can you take off your shoes when you come-"

He raised his head at the kitchen doorway to the sight of a cloud of flour, several milk spills, and some cracked egg shells that had evidently been thrown in the vague direction of the bin.

"-in..."

Maya tilted her head away from a large mixing bowl.

"Hey Nick! Do you have a whisk around here?"

The lawyer's eyebrow arched slightly, as though he was preparing to shout something. His expression then switched to a defeated one, as he turned around to exit the room.

"Bottom drawer. I'll leave you to it."

With unusual speed, Maya rushed over and held her arms out in front of him to block his exit.

"You can't leave yet Nick, we're almost at the best part!"

Phoenix immediately turned back around and finally entered the kitchen.

"Fine. But you're cleaning the place afterwards."

Several minutes later, the pair had finally finished mixing the batter. As Maya grabbed a bottle of oil from the cupboard, Phoenix placed a frying pan onto the hob. Maya poured a small amount of oil into the pan, and they began to cook the first pancake. Maya watched intently as the batter bubbled, with a significantly less entranced Phoenix standing beside her. Shortly after, it was time for the most pivotal point of the pancake making process. The moment at which the fate of the pancake, and the reputation of its creator, would be decided.

"Okay Nick... watch this!"

Maya clutched the pan's handle in two hands, and lifted it into the air with both speed and power. The delicious food spun in the air spectacularly for a few milliseconds, before flattening back out and attaching itself to the roof. Phoenix could only watch on in despair, as his assistant found new and innovative ways to create a mess in his beloved apartment.

"Do you want me to get a spatula, Maya?"

"Nope!"

Ten minutes later and the duo had managed to produce two plates of several pancakes, with several more on the ceiling. Phoenix squirted some lemon juice onto his own pancakes, and walked out of the kitchen with a knife and fork, while Maya remained inside, applying every reasonable condiment to her own pile. He sat at the table, and cut out a section of his food. Eventually Maya finally walked out of the kitchen, though without a knife or fork. She set her plate down onto the table and pulled out a chair. Before she could take a bite, Nick looked up at here.

"When did you get so into pancakes anyway? I don't remember you mentioning them before."

Maya put her hands together with excitement.

"How can anybody not like pancakes? There's only one thing in this world that I love more and that's- HOLD IT!"

Maya sprang up, as though something unexpected had come to mind. She grabbed her plate and ran out into the kitchen. Phoenix took another bite of his pancake, before standing up and following her out. He opened the door to the kitchen, and saw Maya kneeling on the floor throwing various foodstuffs out of his freezer.

"Maya! I need that food!"

"This is more important Nick! I really need to find something in here!"

After seemingly emptying Phoenix's entire food supply, she triumphantly held a packet of frozen burgers in the air.

"So you know how I said that I only loved one thing more than pancakes? Well that got me thinking. If I combined my favourite thing with my second favourite, wouldn't that make something even better?"

"I- I- I have no idea what to say here."

"Just finish your pancakes Nick, I've got work to do!"

After waiting impatiently for it to grill, Maya finally pulled a single burger out of the oven. She gazed in awe, immediately falling in love with the slab of meat. Resisting the temptation to eat it as it was, she placed it in the center of one of her pancakes. She placed another pancake on top, and folded the burger up inside the two. Her mouth almost watering at the sight, she carried the plate out of the kitchen and placed it onto the table. Phoenix, who had since finished his own pancakes, called over to her.

"Maya- Maya what have you done?"

"This is it Nick. This is the single greatest thing ever created by anyone ever. This is... the burger pancake! And I'm gonna eat it right here, and right now!"

Maya grasped the combination of foods in her hands and raised it to her mouth. She opened it wide, and took a single, large bite. As she did so, her expression shifted to a completely blank, emotionless one. Phoenix called over, looking slightly confused.

"Maya? Are you okay there?"

Her blank expression remained for a few moments, before she finally swallowed the portion of her creation, and a look of immense satisfaction replaced it.

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If you made it this far, thank you. This is not a shipping fic!