#my longest kaelumi yet

[sexysilverstrider]

Icy Jealousy (Kaelumi)

  Kaeya was never much of a jealous person.

  He had his own ideals to chase. His own agendas to fulfil. He had no time to indulge in such trivial matters. He may have a fling every now and then, but all that would be snipped away in a blink of an eye before any of his playful encounters could even take a glance at his guarded heart.

  Kaeya had no need to be worried about such mindless—laughable, even—matters.

  That was…until she came into his life.

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  At first it was her encounter with the mysterious bard. Venti was ever so joyful, ever so clingy. While looking as innocent as any child, Kaeya would be a fool to think the bard was anything of the sort. Clearly there was something more when he looked at him, and oftentimes Kaeya wanted to subtly interrogate the youthful boy. Who knows? Maybe the many information Venti held might be of some use to his grand agenda.

  Well, that was the initial plan.

  “Lumine!”

  To see Venti clinging to Lumine’s arm, Kaeya soon realized that he wished to interrogate the bard for an entirely different reason.

  Shock jumped her shoulders at the playful embrace on her right arm. “Geez, Venti!” Her head turned to the side, lips pulling a pout to see him. “Don’t startle me. If I was any more surprised, I might accidentally punch you as a reaction.”

  Her mild threat didn’t even faze him. “Ehee,” he chuckled, smile as guiltless as his response. “Sorry, Lumine.” His slid a few steps back, though arms now wrapped around her right arm. “Care to join me for a drink? I heard Diluc had some really great wine brought in today?”

  Her pout softened to a smile. A sigh came out next. “If you’re paying.”

  “I got that covered!” Clearly, he did not.

  Nevertheless, arm in arm, they walked towards their destination. Laughter and conversation bubbled between them as they shared stories of her journeys and his travels.

  Kaeya only watched from a few steps afar, silent and analytical.

  The smirk he wore bore such ill will. Maybe he should pay a visit to the tavern today.

----------

  Sometimes, Kaeya had the pleasure of joining her in her little adventures. Whenever she set foot in Mondstadt, Lumine never missed the chance of paying a visit to the knights of Favonius. Kaeya—much to his silent glee—was one of them. The delight only heightened when he managed to squeeze time in his busy schedule to accompany her during commission work.

  In truth, he either changed his knightly tasks to ‘Team Up with Lumine’ or ignore his work assignments entirely.

  He could apologize to Jean later.

  During their travels, Kaeya got to a side of Lumine he rarely saw back in Mondstadt. He saw how fearless, how vigorous, and at times how reckless even to see her in action. Her plans were oftentimes near to perfection. Her movements were like wind itself, rising and soaring as she threw her enemies afar. The more he looked at her, the more he observed her, Kaeya knew he was walking on dangerous territory to regard her in such a…vulnerable way.

  He also knew that he wasn’t alone in this matter.

  “Lumine.”

  His calm voice caught her attention. Dissolving her sword back to nonexistence, she turned her heel. “Yes, Razor?” Her smile beamed upon the rugged boy. Kaeya only stood next to her, a single eyebrow raised in silent curiosity.

  Razor’s whole focus was on Lumine only. “Your hand.” Without hesitation, he held her left wrist. “Hurt.” Carefully he turned her hand, revealing a small gash on her palm.

  As adrenaline slowly eased off from her, realization finally acknowledged the numbing pain. “Oh—ah!” One eye closed as she flinched. A chuckle slipped out like a child in trouble, Lumine scratched the side of her neck with her other hand. “I didn’t realize tha—”

  Slurp.

  Not only the traveler, but shock was clear as day in the knight-captain’s eye.

  The pain was brief, but amber eyes were round as they could be due to a different kind of reaction. “R-Razor—?!” A squeak peeped as she felt his tongue on her palm again. The blood on her skin was slowly being licked away, the pressure stinging her quite a bit but warming her face most definitely.

  “I clean.” Razor merely stated, head lowered to her hand and tongue once again ready to wipe the blood clean.

  …That was…until he felt her hand being snatched away from him.

  Crimson eyes quickly glared at the man next to her.

  Kaeya didn’t say a word, yet a smile was evident, its curve so laced with malice and indignation. A growl echoed in the barren battlefield; he couldn’t tell whether the sound came from the boy or himself.

----------

  The months where he hadn’t seen Lumine were apparently the worse.

  Kaeya had bid his farewells. He had wished her journey a safe one. He had other duties to attend too. And she clearly had her brother to find. He knew this would be a short-lived rela—friendship, and Kaeya had set it clear in his mind that she wouldn’t stay with hi—in Mondstadt—for long.  

  It seemed his heart didn’t get the memo.

  Thankfully, after nearly 6 months of not seeing her, Lumine actually came back. She informed Jean that she dropped by for a visit, saying even that she missed Monndstadt and its people after months of being away.

  When Kaeya heard of it, it truly made his heart flutter.

  When he saw her new companion, however, it truly made his heart burn.

  Zhongli only watched silently as Venti and Lumine shared stories. Happiness bloomed within the ex-archon to see his old friend. Venti was still as witty, was still as cunning, and he found it amusing that the now bard immediately hid behind Lumine the moment they reunited.

  “Just making sure.” A single chuckle held being thinned lips as he brought the scene to his mind. Golden eyes then spotted some strands of Lumine’s hair dangling by the side of her face. They swayed and brushed across her left ear, catching his attention like a cat to a ball of yarn.

  Without a word, Zhongli casually slipped through those beautiful locks with his fingers and gently tucked them behind her ear.

  The simple action surely made Lumine flinch. Quickly she looked to the side, amber eyes wide and face quite warm from the gentle contact.

  Upon seeing what he assumed was a mistake, Zhongli quickly let out a short cough. “Apologies, Lumine.” He placed his cup down onto the table. “Your hair is just simply mesmerizing, I couldn’t help myself.” Honesty was his virtue, and the Geo archon simply gifted the surprised traveler a warm smile.

  Her face felt hotter, it seemed. “It’s okay, Zhongli.” She laughed it off, one hand on her cheek. “I just felt ticklish is all.” The conversation was then cut short to Venti’s sly chuckle, bringing both human and makeshift human back to the reality that they were not alone. Zhongli merely continued indulging in his tea, while Lumine rolled her eyes and teased the bard with many comebacks that she learned from her journey.

  While the scene played out like rainbows and sunshine, the even happening in the bar was anything but.

  “Oi,” Diluc interjected, “can you stop trying to shatter my glass? If you wanted some frozen popsicles, go to the dessert stall down the street.” His tongue clicked as crimson eyes glared at the man sitting across him.

  Azure gaze, cold and icy like the element, kept its focus on the trio.

  “Ah,” Kaeya simply, finally, responded. Fingers released the glass he had clutched. Flakes of ice and snow now enveloped the clear glassware, almost revealing cracks as the liquor inside of it had turned to solid ice.

  He turned to face the pyro user. His lips formed a smile, the corners swirled to a sinister curve that rivalled the spine-chilling element on his fingertips. “Sorry, dear Diluc.” He straightened his back, smile still forced in its place. “Would you be so kind as to warm my drink up?”

  “I’d rather burn you to the ground.”

  Her laughter echoed the second Diluc gave his blunt remark. Her laughter alone was enough to snatch every single attention Kaeya had.

  Her laughter alone was enough to ignite a monstrous flame within his chest.

  “Kaeya!” Anger fumed when Diluc saw the plane of ice on the bar. It seemed that the knight-captain truly wanted to be turned to ashes.

----------

  After a week of contemplating—both his heart and his mind—Kaeya decided to do the one thing that would surely piss Jean off.

  In truth, he actually enjoyed traveling with Lumine and her companions. The adventure took his mind off things. The countless dangerous encounters lit a fire within him. While the Knights of Favonius had special training for those with visions, nothing beat an actual face-to-face against inhuman enemies in order to test his elemental strengths and skills. It truly helped that Kaeya got to see Lumine in action as well, more so than he usually did in the past.

  She was still the same. Reckless but calculating. Gentle but rough. It seemed she had obtained the Geo elemental as well, much to his silent surprise. While Lisa did inform him before that the traveler did not possess a vision, to see her wield both Anemo and Geo further piqued his curiosity and interest about her.

  Well, he knew the secret to her power was only half of his genuine interest. The other half was…something Kaeya still chose not to disclose, be it to her or himself.

  After nearly weeks of camping, they finally decided to rest in Wangshu Inn. It seemed like a giant treehouse, Kaeya mentally noted, and he was widely impressed at how sturdy the structure was despite the amount of people and chaos inside it. Zhongli suggested they rested here for a couple of nights while they restock on some resources and weapons. And although Lumine and Paimon agreed to it, Kaeya soon realized that the ones doing the payment was Lumine herself.

  Like a gentleman, Kaeya paid for his room, of course—and Razor’s too since he warmed up to the young wolf boy during their journey.

  Night dawned upon them, and it was the most beautiful Kaeya had ever seen. Granted, Mondstadt was glorious with its lights and grandeur, but nothing could compare to the beauty nature had exposed before them. The gleaming line of lit lanterns truly complimented the sky above. And for once in his life, he truly felt at peace.

  That was…until azure eye spotted the target of his affections talking to someone new.

  “How do you like your almond tofu?” Lumine asked, head tilted slightly as she looked at the quiet adepti. Xiao merely nodded, gaze on his food and attention trying its best to focus on the delicacy.

  Her laugh was slowly breaking his concentration, however.

  “Hmm…” Slowly he swallowed, then huffed out single sigh. The distance between them wasn’t as far, but it wasn’t as close either. As Lumine rested her arms against the wooden rail of the balcony, Xiao only stood perfectly still with the warm plate still in his hand. He was highly aware of the small distance between them, and this also made him aware of the warmth that slowly seeped into his skin.

  He still refused to move from his single spot.

  “Good…” Whether the answer was for the food or the moment they were having, neither could tell.

  As the two enjoyed their peaceful night, one lone man stood from afar, his breathing exhaled in low specks of a chilly breeze.

----------

  Finally, after 2 months of travelling, they finally arrived in Liyue. The place was gorgeous, Kaeya couldn’t lie. It seemed that the city was Zhongli’s birthplace—"or something like that,” as explained by Venti. The reason of them coming back to the land was because Zhongli had to attend to his own work matter.

  Kaeya wanted to comment on it, but he decided to bite his tongue when he was reminded that he too somewhat shirked his duties to be closer to Lumine.

  He was happy that he finally got to spend time with her. Like a holiday of sorts. While Paimon of course oftentimes clung to her like glue, Kaeya still managed to trick the floating creature with some delicious delicacies in any nearby restaurant. Even Razor couldn’t be seen, as Lumine informed Kaeya that the wolf boy preferred the wild environment, so he made camp in an area not too far from the city so he could come as soon as possible when she calls for him.

  Yes. It truly was the perfect moment for Kaeya to get closer to Lumine.

  …Or so he thought.

  “Ojou-chaaan,” Her name lulled in a singsong tune, she felt her shoulders being firmly hugged by someone whom brought a huge sigh off her chest.

  “Now, now.” Faking an offended expression, Childe placed one hand on his chest. “I’m only here to fight my favourite comrade!”

  Slap. Without haste, she slapped his hands away from her. “I’m busy, Childe.”

  “Oh?” He didn’t take offense at all. “You don’t look busy.” He walked beside her. The more she picked up the pace, the more he followed it.

  Deciding that running would only encourage the harbinger even more, Lumine finally slowed down. She knew he was a very, very persistent man. So with another sigh leaving her lips, she shot a glare at him.

  His eerie smile became a lovely match.

  “I am busy.” Amber eyes looked at the list in her right hand. “I’m searching for stuff and things to buy before we head out. Unlike you—” Another glare was given.”—who seem like he has a lot of free time in the world, I need to keep on moving to complete my mission.”

  The ‘mission’ she firmly stated was something they both knew was a delicate topic, so Childe decided go against asking it further.

  Instead, he still made it worse. “Oh? I’m always busy, ojou-chan.” Lower lip pulled to a playful pout. The back of his hand dramatically moved to his forehead. “Can’t you see how tired I am? I am absolutely fatigued by the amount of work my stupid co-workers have put me through.”

  “If you’re tired, then why the stars do you insist on battling with me today?”

  Lumine honestly expected his playful banter. She had prepared a retort. Her mind had generated words that would surely put him into a stupor.

  What she didn’t expect was her left arm to be pulled and her body being turned to the side.

  Amber eyes were wide. Everything happened so fast as the traveler then felt her chin being tipped upwards from a single finger.

  “Because…” A voice, lulled so close and so deep, brushed her pink lips. “Battling with you is never tiring.” Cobalt blue eyes were as striking as the deepest oceans. “Every time I see you…” His gaze lingered. His voice lowered. “I have this urge to just mess—” His right hand that held her left arm moved down… “—you—” And down… “—up…” Palm pressed firmly against the side of her waist—

  Shing!

  Pupils shot to the side the moment he felt a cold breeze. Instincts kicking in fast, Childe immediately released his hold on her and slid a few steps back. In a flash, he summoned his water blades, expression masked to one of annoyance. Luckily, the ice shard—he soon realized—missed him by a hair’s breadth. The back of his hand still felt the chill, and this only made him tighten his hold.

  In truth, Lumine was ready to summon her own wind element to whoosh the fatui away. As hot as her face felt right now, it seemed that shock still kept hold of her heart and mind as she felt her body being pulled yet again.

  “Oh dear, I’m sorry I’m late, Lumine.” She recognized that voice anywhere.

  One hand around her shoulders, Kaeya graced the harbinger before him with the cruellest, most sinister smile one had ever seen. Though sword not in sight in fear that he might cause enough attention than he already had, Kaeya still stretched his left hand forward. Tiny sparks of ice danced across his fingertips, spiralling small swirls towards his target.

  Fear was never present in Childe’s eyes.

  “Ojou-chan,” he called for her, voice light with poison, “it seems you have something stuck on you. Need me to take care of it?” While his grand scheme was to have a duel with her, Childe honestly didn’t mind a warm-up. White teeth gleamed under the sun’s rays. Gaze never torn from the traveler’s stunned face.

  He was mocking her; Kaeya knew this. “Oya, oya.” A single laugh chilled the Liyue air. “Underestimating me, aren’t you? That’s fine.” While true, his past self did choose to not summon his sword, “I always love to see my enemies being horribly humiliated.” his present self now had other plans.

  The sword breezed and solidified into his hands in a blink. To see the tip of a sharp weapon right in front of him, it only infuriated and excited Childe even further. A gust of ice and a burst of water formed around them, quickly and surely attracting an audience that feared for the sudden animosity.

  Both were ready to fight. Both were ready to spill blood.

  “That—”

  Both…

  “—is enough!”

  …were now being blown away straight to a nearby lake by a powerful tornado.

----------

  It had almost been a year since Lumine’s presence. Almost a year since she changed the lives of many. Her mission was still ongoing. The search for her brother was still top priority on her list. But in her many adventures, her presence did bring joy and hope some thought they had lost forever.

  “Diluc! One more please!”

  It seemed that he was part of the ‘some’, after all.

  “Isn’t this your third glass?” A single eyebrow raised. He watched as she giggled shyly, one finger pushing the strand of blonde locks behind her ear.

  Cute. He understood why Kaeya of all people was struggling when it comes to her.

  “Ma-aybe,” she hiccupped, one hand then quickly cupping her mouth.

  Really cute. He understood why Kaeya had oftentimes lost his cool around her.

  Coughing once, Lumine cocked her head in pride. “It’s a party. No harm in celebrating once in a while. Besides, I still have some senses left in me.” Her smile shined as bright as the flames of his element. Bouncing on the balls of her feet, she then looked around. “Hmm, where’s Kaeya?”

  If not for the many years of masking his emotions so perfectly, Diluc would raise his eyebrows in surprise. “Don’t know,” he bluntly replied, hands continued to wipe and clean a wineglass.

  Crimson eyes observed as her mouth pulled a frown.

  “He was here a minute ago…” She seemed sullen? Crestfallen? Disappointed? The change of tone in her voice evoked a glint of surprise in his eyes. While Kaeya was a master of faking his emotions as he was a master of hiding his, Diluc knew his bro—the annoying cavalry captain lately had a hard time keeping his feelings in check when Lumine becomes the matter. As surprising as it was at first, Diluc soon registered the fact that there was another person—other than him—that could shake the cryo user.

  This was getting more and more amusing, he thought.

  “The fool might be dead in the upstairs balcony.”

  The statement caught her attention. “Oh?” The pep in her voice was back. Whether it was from the alcohol or the excitement itself, it was clear that Lumine didn’t bother to hide her glee. She beamed as Diluc resumed his cleaning, ignoring her altogether as a sign that he wasn’t going to say any further.

  That was enough for her. “Thank you, Diluc!” Smile as bright as the sun, she quickly made way to the balcony on the second floor.

  As he watched her disappear into the crowd, a simple twitch of his lips curled upwards.

----------

  Kaeya always loved watching the stars and moon.

  It was peaceful. Breath-taking. Calming. He was able to register his thoughts and recollect his mind every time he was alone with the twinkling lights. The wineglass in his hand was brought up, swirled gently before he sipped the final contents of his drink.

  Through the haze of his intoxication, his mind wandered to her.

  “Heh…” Lips curled to a derisive smirk. How cruel, he thought, that she still invaded his mind after all these months. When Kaeya decided to come back to Mondstadt due to knightly matters, he assumed that maybe, just maybe, a few more months of avoiding her would be the key to finally take all of this as some harmless crush.

  Alas, as the months rolled by without him being able to see her, it turns out it wasn’t harmless nor a crush.

  His arms leaned heavily against the rails of the balcony. And now that she came back to celebrate Jean’s achievements—and to thank her for all she had done—Kaeya finally had a chance to talk to Lumine. He finally had the chance to see her. He finally had the opportunity to catch up with her without the noisy company of others.

  He honestly didn’t mind Paimon. He did however mind a lot about her choice of human companions.

  He should treat her to lunch and catch up. But no. Instead, he made her do a taxing errand of preparing the feast for the party, while he had other separate matters to attend to.

  At times like these, he truly felt like a fool.

  The party had started an hour ago, and he did compliment her for being the mastermind of the surprise party. While in truth, it was his idea, Kaeya felt it more appropriate for the Honorary Knight to take in all the glory while he basked in the shadows.

  Heh. How fitting it seemed that he never changed.

  “Kaeya?”

  Not realizing that he had his eye closed all this time, Kaeya snapped it open before turning around. “Lumine!” Shock was present on his face, but the cryo user quickly mellowed it with a perfectly curled smile. “Now, what do I have the pleasure to see Honorary Knight out here tonight?” His back leaned against the rail, wineglass already placed on the small table next to him.

  Her response wasn’t immediate. Nor was it verbal. Instead, she gave a smile, one so sincere and endearing, he almost gripped the rail tightly.

  “I was looking for you.”

  Her simple answer shook him once again. Azure eye widened in shock. Lips firmly pressed to hide the emotion that fizzled within him. “Oh ho?” he chimed, the corner of his lips curled slightly. “I didn’t know I was missed.”

  “You are.”

  Her blunt answers were getting better and better. And this truly did not fare well on his end.

  Finally, he was out of words for a short while. And it was that short while that Lumine decided to move forward and stand next to him. Pride itched at her brain to know that she was able to make the cavalry knight speechless. It seems there were many benefits to having countless banters with Paimon and Childe.

  “I mean…” However, embarrassment followed suit at the realization of her words. “I didn’t see you much at the party so…” While common sense still held her by the reins, Lumine wondered if the fast beat of her heart right now was the cause of the man next to him.

  In truth, a huge part of her hoped so.

  “I asked Diluc and he said that you might be passed out in the cold here.”

  A single chuckle burst past his lips. “How sweet that he cares.” He looked to his side, memorizing every shape of her presence. “How sweeter that you care, my dear.”

  A single eyeroll was given. “I do care, though.” Her reply once again stunned him; she was getting better at reading his emotions too. “I…I know you’ve been through a lot, especially with Diluc so…”

  “Ah…” He cut her off, partly in realization and the other part to silently signal her to not continue it further. It seems that he had forgotten for a brief moment that he told her of his past. Months and months of travelling together seems to make a person’s lips looser. It was clear that he trusted her, as much as his heart could dangerously handle. And in turn, Kaeya gave her the reason to trust him.

  Which was also a much worse issue, considering that his role and lies still hang heavily around his neck.

  The smile on his face mellowed. Slowly he turned around, head cocked upwards to gaze at the night sky. “Pretty night, isn’t it?”

  She turned around too, though head tilted in his direction. A frown graced her face. Heat kissed her cheeks despite the cold breeze that caressed her body. “Kaeya—”

  “Where are you going next?”

  Roles were now in reverse as the question caught him off guard. “Sorry?”

  “Your next destination, Lumine.” Their eyes met. “Surely, you’re not going to make me hope that you might stick around longer?” The question laced with sweet toxicity, Kaeya let out another chuckle. “As happy as I am to see you back here, I know you’re on a mission to reunite with your brother.”

  His voice was soft, gentle. His expression bared a smile that strained his face.

  It hurt to watch.

  “Soon…” The reply was meek. Hands held the wooden rail. Amber eyes gazed downwards the people below. “I’ll go to Inazuma in the next 3 days.” Fingers slowly fiddled with one another. “The ship will depart on that day. So…I don’t know when I’ll be able to visit Mondstadt again…”

  Crack.

  Azure eye dulled as he ignored the pain in his chest.

  “I see.” was his only response. Slowly he nodded, mouth thinning to hold back the smile that was faltering. “Well,” One hand moved to her, wavered, hesitant, before he patted her shoulder. “I wish you all the best, Lumine.”

  Crack.

  A deep breath was taken to gulp back the cracks left in her chest.

  Hands slowly cupped together. Tightly. “Actually, I was wondering…” There was a reason she came looking for him. There was a reason she came back to Mondstadt before her next journey. One breath. Two. She closed her eyes before recollecting her thoughts that would soon slur into verbal words.

  She felt his hand pull away. She hated that.

  “I want—” With a heart that wanted to burst out of her ribcage, Lumine took the hand that was pulled away. “—you to join me!”

  Shock was the star of the show in the brilliant evening. One gawked at her as if she grew a second head. The other gasped in silence as if what she had just said was near to impossible.

  When she thought about, considering his role in Mondstadt, it might as well be.

  The grip on his left hand tightened.

  “I…” It was now or never. “I had so much fun travelling with you. It was never a dull moment.” Her head was down. “When we did all those commissions and strange requests, you always had a plan ready. When we were battling the powerful enemies, you always had my back. When I felt down and out of it, you were always there to cheer me up!” Her hands shook. “I—when we went to Dragonspine, you tried your best to find warm shelter to keep everyone warm even though fire isn’t actually your forte.” Archons, she would never forget how grateful she was to have him endure the frigid cold of such an unforgivable place.

  His hand felt warm.

  “We fought side by side all these months and I—” Couldn’t forget it. Couldn’t forget him. “I…” Anxiety kicked in the more she stuttered. Forcing another gulp, Lumine let out a sharp sigh. “Having you so close to me made me realize how much I need you.”

  Blue bangs shielded his eye.

  “Waking up and seeing you bond with Paimon and Razor and everyone else first thing in the morning made me realize how much I miss those moments.”

  Lips were slightly parted.

  “And…” She could do this. “The night that we opened up about our brothers—” She heard a sharp breath. “—that was…truly a night that I felt closest to you.” She felt her hands shake. “I like that. I love that.” There was a reason why she chose to drink more than she could handle tonight—

  “I love—”

  “Lumine.”

  Her shoulders flinched. At the same time his voice startled her, she gaped as she watched his hands slip away from her grasp. She froze as she felt those same hands cup her cheeks.

  “Lumine…”

  His voice was silky smooth, caressing her very skin that sent prickles up to the back of her neck. She blinked once. Twice. Lumine then moved her head upwards by the gentle gesture of his hands—

  Chup…

  Amber eyes were as wide as they could be.

  His lips were soft, sweet, slightly sour with a taste of tangy citrus. While bafflement had her vision open and clear, his eye was closed.

  One heartbeat. Two.

  Realization knocked him hard at the back of his head.

  Quickly his eye snapped open. Immediately he pulled back. “I—!” Hands moved from cheeks to shoulders. It seems that the wine he drank had finally took control of his body. When he listened to her request, Kaeya could only feel his body float like a cloud. When he heard her explanation, he could only feel his heart clawing right out of his throat.

  Love. When he heard that word, that one word, he couldn’t help but to succumb to the feelings he had long tried to destroy.

  He gaped at her. She gawked at him. “Ahaa…” Defeat and shame poured down on him. “Sorry, Lumine.” Now he had done it. “I had uh…too much to drink tonight.” Now he had perfectly fucked this up.

  He should leave. He should walk away. Being here with her was a mistake. Holding her by the shoulders was a mistake. Feeling her warmth, remembering the luscious shape of her lips was definitely, definitely, a mistake—

  “Gaack—!”

  Chuu!

  Words, panics, and fears dissipated like hot steam once he felt the front of his shirt being tugged, once he felt those lips he so dearly missed pressed hard against his.

  This time, her eyes were closed shut. This time his eye was wide as saucers.

  However, bafflement didn’t linger too long, as Kaeya fully registered the moment with an open heart and an open mouth.

  Quickly his eye closed. Hands now moved around her waist, tickling her in the process that Lumine actually wiggled in his embrace. Cute. The word beaming like a beacon, he pulled her flushed against his chest. Cute! Cute! His tongue found and caressed her own, tangling together until breaths became heavy in their lungs. Cute, cute, cute! With ease, Kaeya moved his hands downwards and lifted her up. It seems that the alcohol took hold of her mind too, as Lumine happily wrapped her legs around his waist as she pressed closer.

  Chu! Chuu…chup! Apart they broke for a mere second. Chuuu! Together they kissed again before either could regain proper vision. Her hands tugged and brushed through long, silky blue hair. His hands squeezed and gripped her soft, scarred thighs.

  Pop!

  If it weren’t for the fact that they needed air, they knew there would be no end to this.

  Pants, heavy and warm, stroked each other’s faces. A gaze of pure stupor was given to a face of sheer shock. Red kissed their cheeks as if the sun had grazed them. Heartbeats pumped hard and fast against flushed chests.

  One heartbeat. Two heartbeats.

  After the third beat, realization dawned on them like cold water.

  “Ah—” Both stumbled. Quickly Lumine released her grip and stood in a shaky stance. She kept hold on his shoulders, fearing that the intense moment would make her lose her posture. His hands slid upwards to her waist, his grip not longer rough yet palms pressed firmly on her body.

  They didn’t show any signs of letting each other go.

  Her head dropped. Should she apologize? Should she forgive? Should she say something to dispel this awkward situation that bloomed between them?

  But he did kiss her, though. And while Kaeya had been on her mind all these months since their journey together, never had she thought that her feelings would be requited. She felt giddy. Anxious. A whirlwind of emotions swirled inside her to know, to see, to feel, that the dashing cavalry knight would harbour such feelings for—

  “Lumine…”

  A single gulp slid down a dry throat.

  She cast a peek. Heat burned to the tips of her ears, Lumine found it wise to not say anything yet.

  She was too cute, he gushed.

  “Pushing aside our little…session, which I find absolutely amazing, by the way.” He gently pulled her closer. “I want to answer your request.”

  Her finger unintentionally squeezed his shoulders.

  “Lumine…” His voice lowered to a husky whisper, so loving, so sweet. “I would love to join you to Inazuma.” To join you anywhere.

  His answer lit up a spark of joy on her face. Quickly, finally, she brought her head upwards. “Really—?”

  Chu.

  Glee burst to shock at the feel of his lips.

  “Kaeya!” Instinctively she pulled back, pupils blown in pure embarrassment over his tease.

  Laughter echoed the bright night. While Kaeya was infamous for masking his emotions, the laugh he burst out was both genuine and filled with absolute glee.

  How mesmerized she felt to witness such beauty.

  “Geez…” Quivered lips pressed a shaky smile. Playfully jabbing his chest once, Lumine then wrapped her arms around his chest. “I have to get used to this, huh?” A sheepish mumble left her lips. Her left cheek nuzzled against his warm chest.

  A peaceful sigh left her to feel fingers tickling her back.

  “Pretty much.” Happy. “You wanted me to tag along. You pay the price, my dear.” It felt so sinful to be this happy. He nuzzled the top of her head, inhaling the sweet scent of windwheel aster and vanilla that he so dearly loved.

  It seems his silly jealousy was—after all—silly.

  Finally, her laughter joined his. The two relished in their embrace, making the stars and the moon their witness of the very start of their ever after.

END

[lysmune]

Hoarfrost Heart

Human still

Pairing: KaeLumi CW: Kaeya has an anxious breakdown near the end, and a lot of this fic deals with his trauma of not opening up to people.

  Blood is a loyal follower to Kaeya’s truths, a faint whisper that reminds him of everything that could—has—happened if he slivered an inch of his thoughts. It is the scent of iron he could never wash out, not from the thin line of death across the necks of so many people, not from his hands, nor from the soles of his feet, split open as he walks across the evergreen growth of thorns, fed fat from his deceit.

   These are only skin deep, is how he convinces himself as he tucks the unease behind a veiled smile that pinches his cheeks. Flesh wounds will heal but honesty, baring an unguarded heart out upon his sleeve, is a dangerous game and Kaeya has no desire to tempt mortality again.

   One narrow escape is enough.

   Sweet words, sweeter lies, he offers those instead. They always repay him in trust, a valuable currency he never quite could give away, so he sacrifices what spare human feeling he has for the pristine beauty of a white winter when he responds. Clean, untainted, pure.

   It is easier to deal with the disease that is loneliness than a knife to the back.

   A laid-back, duty-shirking cavalry captain, whose dull seaward lineage is made riveting through ten rounds of Death After Noon. That is who Kaeya is.

   That is how he introduces himself to Mondstadt.

   That is the image he’ll set in the starlit traveller’s mind.

   That is who she, with unabashed vocality, politely refuses to believe.

   Lumine chalks it up to the vagueness of a hunch, and he can’t help but roll his eyes, click his tongue. Sure, he might enjoy throwing the same reason around, but it feels like complete nonsense to have it flung back at him. He pouts, intentionally puppy-like and innocent, and pleads with a tone of feigned hurt.

   Lumine laughs.

   Laughs and looks at him with topaz-cut eyes, eyes like honeyed spring water. Kaeya can’t decide whether he should feel offended at her subtle dig, or honoured that he’s made her smile. He settles on brushing it off with a shrug and a, “Well, you’ve got me there.”

   “I know,” is Lumine’s response, a simple phrase that holds much more depth than it lets on, and he wonders if she’s seen just what it is he’s truly hiding.

   The prospect sends chills down his spine. Does she know me, more than I do?

   Kaeya drowns those fears in the tavern, his local safe haven, a place away from his worries and her all-seeing gaze. It is short-lived some nights, languorous on the others, but at least, here, the chatter is comfortable. Leaning forward, he listens to the slurred words, the odd secrets, to keep his thoughts at bay.

   And yet

   And yet, Kaeya finds himself following the wide expanse of her back, her small frame belying her insurmountable strength as she carries every single burden in silence. “Trust me,” she would assure with her sunlit smile. Kaeya would never admit it, but he does—he wants to.

   But what has trust ever given me?

   Rain and ichor, and festering wounds.

   Everything is unflinchingly loud. How laughable, how maddeningly soft of him, to be so weak in his resolve. Against the hushed humdrum dawn, he watches her leave the gates.

   They say if you stare too long at the sun, you’ll go blind. In her presence, Kaeya feels robbed of his vision. He looks to her footprints instead, at the trail of fireflies she leaves in her wake. They don’t hurt him as much as her wayward glances do, not as much as the sincerity in her voice when she reminds him that he can always seek her company when he needs someone to talk to.

   “I won’t stay long in Mondstadt, anyway,” Lumine laughs, laced with melancholia. “Whatever your secret is, I’ll bring it with me.”

   Kaeya’s chest tightens, constricts. “How fun would I be without my mysteries?” he hums and she scoffs.

   “Well, either way,” she says, shrugging while she goes to her feet, “I’m here to listen.”

   He knows, he knows, that’s why it’s proving difficult to keep all his bottled thoughts neatly safeguarded. Everything is easier around her, as though he can just be honest and loose-lipped, and bare, and Kaeya despises it.

   He despises how vulnerable he feels, how vulnerable she makes him feel.

   Each passing day only serves to coddle that parasite of an idea, the frail, tempting whisper at the shell of his ear, gnawing at him endlessly. The words coagulate in his throat, begging to be spoken and put to death all at once, barred only by gritted teeth and sheer willpower.

   Lumine never quite pries him, not when he excuses himself of her company through the blatant lie of working through his commissions; nor when he hides at the corner of the bar when they celebrate her victorious homecoming; nor when his nightly patrols loop him back to her in some cyclical torment.

   She gives him his space, lets him breathe. Kaeya isn’t sure if he enjoys the consideration, the lack of judgement, the misplaced respect.

   A clean-cut, clinical distance maintained. Lumine never quite meets him again, and he never bothers. It’s easier, it’s easier, he tells himself, chanting it through like a broken record.

   It’s easier, Kaeya convinces, even when he finds her perplexed at her usual spot at Good Hunter, bathed in the scarlet red of a sunset.

   “My,” he greets, pulling up the chair reserved for him, “I don’t think I’ve seen you quite so bothered, Traveller.”

  Lumine’s eyes never quite meets his, even when she’s turned her body to his direction. A chill creeps up the length of his spine.

   “I’m leaving for Liyue,” she says under her breath, so quiet it’s near indistinguishable from the wind. “Tomorrow morning.”

   “Oh,” is all Kaeya manages to muster. She doesn’t speak after that. He doesn’t either, all the sentences tangled and fumbling on his tongue, and It’s easier this way, he reminds himself still, even when she’s long receded into Mondstadt’s crowd.

   There’s a ringing in his ears, a loud, obnoxious pounding against his skull.

   Lumine’s leaving.

   The creature in his chest twists, writhing as he inhales deeply, like it is wounded and angry. Isn’t this what I wanted?

   Iron fills his mouth as his teeth bite into the inside of his cheek. He’s never once looked at her, not in the longest time, and before he knows it, Kaeya’s letting his feet lead him to the home she’s staying in, blood cold and hands trembling.

   The last time Kaeya’s ever held a person so warm dear to him, he burned to ashes.

   Something old and ancient stirs, an acquaintance he thought bygone. Wrapping around his shoulders like a winter veil, it hovers, large and engulfing.

  What has trust given you? Trauma sneers. Kaeya swallows. Rain and ichor, and festering wounds. Scorched skin black to its bone, pain still as new and fresh as spring. All that hate and fear, and loneliness.

  His hand rests quietly on the door, shaking softly.

  Intimately, anxiety slithers around his neck, a spurned lover begging for a second chance. His back is soaked in the frozen thunderstorm, the terrorised flesh on his arm throbbing painfully, this memoir he’s carried with him since eighteen.

  I should leave. I should go. There isn’t much point in this.

  Flashes of white dancing at the peripheral of his eye, embers sparking like coals. Kaeya balls his hand into a fist, breaths shallow and ragged, the smell of carbonised ozone filling the air.

  This was a terri-

  “Kaeya.”

  His demons fall quiet.

  Her fingers are warm around his wrist, comfortingly so, a hearth on a winter’s eve, and Kaeya’s heart steadies. Everything does.

  I’m scared, he realises when he keeps his gaze to the ground, when he struggles to look back at her, when he’s being honest to himself past all those pretences, a lost child navigating uncharted wasteland.

  I’m scared, he realises, of learning how to trust. It feels like centuries since he has. What has trust given you? Rain and ichor, and festering wounds.

  Her grip on his wrist tightens.

  A home. A friend. A brother. Tiny, stumbling memories that fill with laughter.

  Kaeya swallows and turns around, and this time, he meets the gold of her eyes. In the dying light of day, she seems to glow brighter still, undying and unyielding.

  They say if you stare too long at the sun, you’ll go blind. As long as it’s her, he can learn to live with that, to have faith in her promises and follow her lead.

  “Are you alright?” Lumine questions, and he’s touched by the worry in her voice. Kaeya allows himself to smile, just barely, and nods.

  “I’m here for that offer,” he says. There’s an unusual tremor in his words, a nervousness that he’s not quite felt in ages, and ages past. She blinks, once, twice, and Kaeya wonders if he’s misread.

  Maybe-

Lumine laughs, then, like chimes in the wind, and Kaeya can’t help but chuckle along. With practiced ease, she slips her hand around his, linking their fingers together.

Kaeya lets her.

“Make yourself at home,” she guides him through the door and into her space effortlessly, seamlessly. Within the four walls she calls hers, in the incandescent ardour of her presence, he feels safe. Safe and heard, and at peace.

  It isn’t likely that Kaeya will tell her everything he’s been shouldering within the day, nor the coming week, or month, or possibly a year, but he knows he eventually will. If it’s her, he wants to, and when she offers him a gentle sunburst smile, he’s certain of it.

 For the first time since eighteen, Kaeya offers his heart, bare and beating, and him.