#my little chaos child......go into the world
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Arcane characters - with a childish but genius reader
Characters: Vi , Jinx, Caitlyn, Mel, jayce, Viktor, vander.
Genre:fluff
Summary: Arcane characters in a relationship with a childish yet secretly intelligent reader.
-Vi
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âAt first, Vi thinks you're just an airhead. You get distracted by little things, chase pigeons in the street, and constantly come up with the most ridiculous ideas ever
â"Babe, why are you trying to balance a spoon on your nose? We're in the middle of a serious conversation."
âShe's overprotective of you, worried that someone might take advantage of how playful and carefree you seem.
âBut then, one day, she watches you casually solve a complex mechanical issue that even Ekko had been struggling with, and she's just stunned.
â"Wait, wait, hold on. You did what now?"
âNow she's fiercely proud of you and will brag to everyone about how you're actually a genius.
âIf someone underestimates you, she'll smirk and say, "Go ahead, challenge them. I dare you." And when you inevitably outsmart them, she just leans back, arms crossed, grinning.
âLoves that you bring out her more playful side - she's always up for a stupid game or a race through the streets with you.
âIf you start rambling about some complicated theory, she won't always understand half of what the fuck your saying, but she listens anyway because she loves hearing your voice.
-Jinx
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âOh, she adores your childish energy. Finally, someone who gets her brand of chaos!
â"You wanna build a potato cannon?"
â"Babe, you're speaking my language."
âYou two are an absolute menace together - pulling harmless (and sometimes not-so-harmless) pranks, running around Zaun causing trouble, laughing your heads off.
âAt first, she thinks you're just her playful partner-in-crime. Then, one day, she catches you casually, working through some insane calculations for a weapon design.
â"Wait, wait, you figured that out? I thought you were just doodling little cats on the blueprint!"
âNow she's obsessed with your mind works. She'll beg you to explain things, even if she doesn't always follow.
â"So, if I put this here... it won't explode in my face? Ohh, see, that why I keep you around."
âShe loves how unpredictable you are- One second, you're blowing bubbles in your drink; the next, you're explaining quantum physica like it's the most obvious thing in the world.
âIf someone underestimates you, she finds it hilarious. She'll just sit back and watch them embarrass themselves when you outsmart them.
-Caitlyn Kirraman
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âCaitlyn was very skeptical at first. You're constantly getting distracted, making silly faces, and skipping around like a child. She thought you lacked focus.
âBut then she catches you dismantling and improving one of Piltover's security devices in under five minutes, and then she nearly drops her tea.
â"You- how did you do that?"
âNow, she absolutely adores your mind. She loves discussing problems with you, even if you randomly interrupt to say something like, "Do you think ducks have existential crises?"
âShe's so patient with your antics. If you get distracted mid-conversation, she just sighs, waits for you to finish your tangent, and then guides you back on track.
âshe loves how you challenge her and how you make her world so much more fun.
â"Darling, while I do appreciate your enthusiasm, maybe don't poke the criminal while I'm interrogating him?"
âIf someone doubts your intelligence, sheâll give them a knowing smirk and let them make a fool of themselves before stepping in and destroying them with logic.
-Mel
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âShe immediately finds you endearing. You're playful, unpredictable, and full of life.
âAt first, she assumes you're just a whimsical, carefree spirit - someone who brings joy into her serious world.
âThen, one night, she finds you effortlessly strategizing a flawless political move that even seasoned council members hadn't thought of.
â"Oh, love... you are dangerous. I like that."
âShe adores the contrast between your childish antics and your sharp mind. It fascinates her.
âIf someone insults your intelligence, she'll simply smile and say, "You should challenge them. See how that works out for you.
âLoves how unpredictable you are - one minute, you're doodling all over her important documents; the next, you're making a move that changes the entire political landscape.
â"Darling, I can't decide if you're my biggest headache or my greatest asset." (It's both, and she loves it.)
-Jayce
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âJayce is confused at first. You seem so carefree, like you don't take anything seriously.
âBut then you casually correct his calculations on Hextech energy output, and his jaw drops.
â"Wait. Say that again."
âNow, he's obsessed with your brain. He asks for your opinions all the time, even when it's something he should probably figure out himself.
âHe loves how you bring joy into his life. You make him laugh when he's stressed, and you remind him not to take himself too seriously.
âProtective. If someone underestimates you, he's quick to say, "You have no idea who you're talking to."
âSometimes, he has to drag you back on track when you go off on a tangent, but he secretly loves your randomness.
-Viktor
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âViktor was not fooled by your childish nature. He noticed your intelligence immediately.
â"You play the fool well, but I see the way your mind works."
âHe absolutely adores how unpredictable you are. Your ideas, no matter how outlandish they sound at first, always seem to work.
â"A rocket-powered toaster? That is... ridiculous. But actually, it's not a bad concept."
âHe lives for your strange, out-of-the box thinking. You help him see things in ways he never would have considered.
âIf someone doubts your intelligence, he just chuckles and waits for you to absolutely destroy them with logic.
âHe finds your childish tendencies endearing - he secretly loves watching you chase butterflies or balance a spoon on your nose.
-Vander
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âHe treats you like you're his favorite kid. You make him laugh, and he loves that about you.
âHe assumes you're just the fun-loving type until you start outsmarting people left and right.
â"Huh. You're sharper than you let on, ain't ya?"
âHe's so proud of you. He brags about you to everyone, even if you're just goofing around.
âHe adores your playful nature but makes sure you're safe - no reckless stunts on his watch.
âif someone talks down to you, he gives then a warning look: "Best watch what you say. They ain't clueless as you think."
#vander x reader#vander arcane#vi x reader#jinx x reader#mel medara x reader#caitlyn kirraman x reader#arcane viktor x reader#jayce talis x reader#arcane x black reader#arcane x reader
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jeon jungkook fic rec list (â
Ş)
hi everyone i am back and boy has there been some amazing fics posted while i was away it's awaken that spark in me again and this list is honestly packed, i went over like 60 fics for this one and i even added some of my ult. faves. the ones i have to mention again because they are just so amazing, trust me you will be going back for more over and over again too. you might notice some fics from ao3 and wattpad included as well they are hold a special place in my heart, they are masterpieces that need to be shared with you guys so please enjoy this new list and give all the authors mentioned all the love and respect they deserve seriously they work so hard on creating these beautiful fics and they deserve all the attention and gratitude we can offer them so please share your love through a like, comment and reblog them so they can feel the love and more people can find their masterlists and accounts because they have some really good fics there as well. I just wanna send an honourable mention to every single writer i have added to this list without you i would not have so much happiness when i come on this app and you have filled my heart and countless others with so much joy and happiness we appreciate you more than you will ever know and you make being here 10 times better your stories help us through alot and puts smiles on our faces and we get to spend time with a community of people who love what we love and we get to interact because of your ideas and it creates such an amazing experience so thank you for everything that you do the worlds you create and the ideas you come up and for sharing it all with us i adore you so much and you are just the best so once again thank you for everything and i look forward to what so many of you have planned - kiki âĄ
NO MINORS ALLOWED PLEASE DON'T INTERACT!
happy reading everyone i hope you enjoy this extra long list of my faves and please remember to be happy and keep on smiling and interact if you want i love hearing from you guys and if you want you can send me a few of your faves đĽšđ¤â¨
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f - fluff s-smut a - angst
series
lines of fate by @kookiestarlight s a exes au zombie apocalypses tattooist jk
â the last thing Jungkook ever imagined was an outbreak that turned the dead into the living. But even more unexpected is seeing youâan ex heâs known nothing about in the past four yearsâwith a small child who bears a striking resemblance to himself. As Jungkook grapples with the shock and the city spirals into chaos, the two of you are thrust back together, forced to confront unresolved feelings, long-buried truths, and the horrors of the deadly virus taking over.
lost stars by @hueseok f a roommates e2l slow burn college au (33.2k)
â the last person youâd expect to be there for you is your roommate, jeongguk, on the night you break up with your cheating boyfriend; because as far as youâre concerned, the both of you arenât exactly friends, and he definitely shouldnât be running to get you upon hearing you sob via phone call.so when he does, you begin thinking that maybe youâve just been hard on him over the years, or perhaps he just liked pretending to be an annoying shit most of the time. either way, it becomes the beginning of an unexpected friendship finally blossoming.
a lovers kiss by @/hueseok f s a fwb i2l college au (55.6k)
â a friends with benefits relationship never ends on a good note. unless, both parties are not dumb fucks who find themselves falling for each other along the way of their agreement, of course. and in yours and jeonggukâs case, you should have known better than to think the two of you would be an exception to the so-called curse of being friends with benefits with someone you already hold dear to you, since not even five months since it was agreed uponâthe line between being only friends and being a little like lovers only continue to get hazier and hazier.
hell is empty by @aquagustd f s a ft.kth love triangle dadJK exJK CEO kth (164.4k)
â life has a tendency to throw things your way when you least expect it, when youâre content, and the ominous presence knows exactly how to steer your existence back into the darkness.
to the stars by arckook (ao3) a zombie apocalypse (94.6k)
â It was always you, and Jimin, and your best friend Jihyun. But fate, regardless of whether you believed in it or not, had other plans for you. Jimin told you once, "It's a tough road to the stars." Nowadays it was hard to believe the stars were somewhere you could reach.
moirai by norabean (ao3) f s a soulmates slow burn (95.2k)
â On your 18th birthday a name appears on your wrist. The name of your soulmate. Itâs a momentous day that everyone looks forward to, but youâve always brushed aside; refusing to believe in a fickle mistress called destiny. But what happens when on the morning of your 18th birthday you wake to find the name of your mortal enemy? Jeon Jungkook.
from home by @yuzukult f s a e2l richkid jk fakedating au (89.5k)
â a rich kid who gets cut off from family money meets an average post-grad girl who may be the key to getting him back on his parentsâ good side.
and they were roommates by @hoseok666 f s a ft. kth e2l love triangle tsundere jk s2l (103.k+)
â it all started with a rejection from your longtime crush, jeon jungkook. you decided to confess to him on your last day of high school. after a harsh rejection and a rough summer dealing with the heartbreak, you were starting anew once your freshman year of college came. you were going to be sharing an apartment with two other roommates that you donât even know. what a surprise youâre going to be in for once you find out itâs the one and only: jeon jungkook and kim taehyung.
future hearts by @jungblue f s a ft. pjm punk jikook s2l band au f2l lost love (114.6k)
â It was everything, from his tattoos, to his touches, to the way sweat rolled down his neck as he strummed into his guitar on stage; everything about him completely enthralled you. So why are you now, two and a half years later, on a train to Seoul, telling a complete stranger the recollection of how you became fated to forever have scars on all of your future hearts due to the happiness, but most of all the pain, that came along with falling in love with Jeon Jungkook.
mind games by @yerion f a tsundere jk roommates au (31.8k)
â jungkook drives you to think strict criticism isnât too bad, purely because you didnât expect things to turn a bit steamier than intended. as the one and only female esports player, misery was at your fingertip when your skills suddenly deteriorated. however, the stoic leader of your teamâjungkook, simply couldnât sit back. he puts you back on track, yet no one told you sparks would fly; and the crazy fact that itâs inevitable
heartbeat by @xbaepsae s a ft myg unrequited love (24.9k)
â âYou fell in love with a boy who was in love with music, and you werenât sure if he was capable of loving you the same way. This thought shouldâve caused you to move away from him; but, if anything, it just drew you closer.â
one year, my love by @hayjeon f s a historical/royal au 100 days my prince kdrama (31k)
â You forge a marriage contract with the strangely speaking man who suddenly stumbled into your town with memory loss, but little do you know that heâs actually the lost Crown Prince, and a lot can happen between a married man and woman in one year.Â
the love prognosis by @awrkive f s a medical au roommates f2l (90.7k)
â for as long as you can remember, you've always been a hopeless romantic. the girl whoâs always dreamt of cheesy encounters with her soulmate, grand love declarations, and a cute little beach wedding to boot. but reality pretty much slaps you hard right on the face, because love, unfortunately, doesnât come grand â itâs simple and itâs quiet, but it is quite painful, especially when the love that youâve been seeking for all your adult life has just been right under your nose all this time.
ever a never after by @yoonia s ft. ksj enchanted au (51.8+k)
â Some say fate can be a cruel thing. Yet you never knew how true it was until fate played a hand in your bad luck. Merely moments before your happily ever after, you are suddenly sent out to a weird place. A different world. You wonder if this is a test from fate to see if you are truly deserving of your happy ending, or if perhaps fate wants to show you something else. Something that fate wishes you to learn before you can finally move on to take the next step towards your happiness.
between takes by @jeonstudios f s a fluffer au porn star au (74.6k)
â as a fluffer for a popular porn star, your focus is to keep him hard and performing on set. turns out he's not the only thing that's hard
Shatter With Me by @colormepurplex2 f s a surrogate au best friends husband (46.4k)
â Your best friend, Jiyoon, and her husband, Jungkook, have faced years of hardship trying to start a family. In a last-ditch effort to have their dream life, they seek solace in surrogacy. Wanting to see your best friend smile, you offer to become the bright beacon at the end of the tunnel, giving them what they have always wanted. But what happens when you begin to shine your light on their darkness? Things arenât always as they seemâhappiness can be a façade, shattering under the lightest pressure.
Chasing Cars by @oddinary4bts f s a college au brother best friend forbidden love (218.5k)
â when your brother goes to study on a semester abroad, your life collides with his best friend Jeon Jungkook, who's coincidentally your roommate. Will you survive the collision, or will you crumble into dust?
hold me close by @ahundredtimesover f s a brother best friend (41.8k)
â When you're asked to look after your parents' house and meet them before they go on vacation, you, Jimin, and Jungkook take the trip to your hometown of Busan and relive memories of your youth. While your new relationship has you feeling like a lovesick teenager with all the affection that Jungkook shows you, you're still you - a professional trying to make it in the corporate world, and an eldest child trying not to disappoint her parents. And that turns out to be your undoing, as a little blunder causes a rift between you and Jungkook, resulting in a trip that you might as well have messed up⌠Not if your brother can help it, though
sugar high by @yeojaa f a idol au childhood best friends unrequited love (33.3k)
â You thought youâd known real love and maybe you had - it just wasnât with who you thought.
the law of attraction by @jexnkookie f s a lawyer jk girl of his dreams (26.9k)
â Throughout his life, Jung Kook has only ever loved one girl. Despite her being out of his league and of an elite class that he wasn't born into, he fell hard, keeping his feelings a closely guarded secret. When they parted ways, and Jung Kook pursued his law career, he did so with the intent of moving on. But when she unexpectedly arrives back into his life, Jung Kook finds himself once again face to face with his own insecurities, and the girl of his dreams.
love bug by @here4kpopfics f s a established relationship (30.4k)
â A collection of stories and drabbles with my comfort couple Jungkook and Love Bug as I affectionally call her. They were my first couple to write in over a decade and I hold them very close to my heart.
sh by @wwilloww f s a ot7 f2l (118k)
â Six months of quarantine have kept you apart. Somehow the distance sparks something new in each of you: questions, unfinished conversations, threads once chased now left cold. So when your roommate invites you to come with him to a mysterious house in the mountains with your friends, how could you even think of saying no?
bloodlines entwined by @spideyjimin f s a s2l soulmates werewolf au royalty au (30.8+)
â having a baby alone was supposed to be easy. but an accidental twist of fate pulled you into a hidden world of werewolves, and ancient bloodlines. navigating your already complicated life becomes even harder as you uncover your past; one tied to a legacy you never knew existed. and in the middle of this chaos stands jungkook, the werewolf king⌠and the father of your child. Â
jump then fall (into you) by @writtenwhalien f s a bf2l fake dating (52k)
â bringing Jungkook along as your date to your exâs lavish cruise wedding seemed like a perfect idea at first â all of your family and close friends together, nothing can go wrong⌠then Jungkookâs ex shows up and all of a sudden youâre in a years long relationship with him. You donât mind though, really, how hard can sharing a cabin and pretending to be deeply in love with your best friend really be?
not in that way by @girlygguk f s a ft. myg unrequited love bf2l (30k)
â in which you're hopelessly in love with your best friend, min yoongi. meanwhile, your other best friend, jeon jungkook, is hopelessly in love with you.
live through this by @starshapedkookie f s a band au exes to frenemies to lovers (46.5k)
â A record deal. The one thing Violet needed to become the next big rockstars. As the front-woman to the band, life couldnât have been any easier for you. That is until a devastating life event changes everything for you, leaving you heartbroken and in a downward spiral you canât get out of. With your biggest competitor, Whailen 52 on your heels, your bandmates worried about the future, and your ex Jeon Jungkook being your only solace; you werenât sure if you were going to live through this to see your dreams come to fruition.
a story that we paint by @thedefinitionofbts f a ft.kth college au scifi au (25k)
â in which the lines between virtual and reality are blurred.
crimson park by heartbeatan f s a e2l crime au(159.6k)
angel in the darkness by @icyhobi s a mafia au prostitution au
â after a patient urgently pleads you to go and help a friend of his, you naively agree to it. little did you know, that you would get more than what you agreed to, when he leads you to a brothel, to help a dangerous prostitute named jeon jungkook.
one night stand by @buryhny f s a ceo au e2l (382k)
â as if the unexpected twist of a one-night stand turning out to be your CEO boss wasn't surreal enough, the situation takes a more challenging turn when both of you discover that you're expecting his child.
the alpha omega series by @borathae f s a childhood best friends to enemies to lovers werewolf au (40.8k)
â Jungkook is the son of the pack Alpha and therefore heir of the titel. You are an omega and utterly out of his league. This is the story of how, against all odds, you and he became true mates.
4-7-8 by @jiminrings a marriage au (73k+)
â youâre secure when it comes to loving jungkook, knowing that your husband loves you beyond words. what you arenât so secure about is his first love â someone who isnât you. alternatively, jungkookâs married to you, but he still celebrates his anniversary with his ex out of sentimentality.
netflix & chill by @1kook f s blindate collge au (113.7+)
 â If you planned things right, you could rain down your raging displeasure on Jeon Jungkook right after the meal but before this proposed âNetflix and chilling,â maybe dramatically throw your glass of wine at him, before storming out of his place and reporting him to the authorities (Namjoon) for his douchebag personality.
the bad blind date by ravsisrekt f s a idol au f2l (wattpad)
â Being set up on a date is hard as it is. But being set up on a date where the boy you're with loves your best friend is even harder-and trust me, being bubbly, cute, and incredibly hilarious doesn't work on him eitherâŚbut on the other members it certainly does.
sns by narcotichobi f s a idol au s2l (wattpad)
â Jae is a twenty-one year old Korean-American university student whose life is just ordinary. Struggling through the confines of cultural differences between her lifestyle and ethnicity, Jae finds herself through social media outlets and the integration of k-pop into her American life. Jungkook is a twenty year old singer, dancer and producer of the Korean-Pop idol group, BTS (��íěë
ë¨). He works over twelve hours a day and has almost every second of his life circulating around social media. Jungkook, with newly found dating privileges, is slow to trust another person with his personal life and thoughts. Follow Jae and Jungkook through a love-story heavily motivated by social media and press
40 weeks by magicalmochii f s a teeange pregnancy f2l (wattpad)
â They didn't want to be virgins when they graduated. Two friends agree to let go of their innocence together, no strings attached. Life had other plans.
unconditionally by magicalmochii f s a parents au (wattpad) sequel to 40 weeks
â They survived high school and overcame the obstacles that tried to break them apart. Together they adapt to college life and work, all while caring for their new baby. Now, two friends turned lovers prepare for their wedding. Life had other plans. The continuation of 40 Weeks. Bring tissues.
blood ink by pocketbangtan f s a gang au tattoo artist jk (wattpad)
â "That's my tattoo, Y/N, on your body. You know exactly what that means."
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one shot
wait for your love by @/spideyjimin f s a exes2lovers parents (17.3k)
â sixteen years ago, your life was turned upside down when you surrendered to the temptation â none other than jungkook, the star basketball player on your schoolâs team. today, after all that time, you reunite under tragic circumstances; a car crash where he saves your life.
Inkling by @gguksgalaxy s a f2l tattoo artist jk (17.7k)
âJungkook is your brotherâs boyfriendâs co-worker, they own a tattoo and piercing parlour. In other words, heâs tall, gorgeous, has his passion literally etched into his skin, looks incredibly good in a man-bun, and is semi-unattainable for you. Why? WellâŚyouâre not entirely sure but him ditching right after a very heated make-out session sure isnât a good sign. His extremely poor mood the next week sure isnât either, but the only way to fix it is to face the beast head-on. Right?
in this paradise by @ressjeon f s a s2l survivor au (16.3k)
â in an attempt to escape whatâs been planned for him, Jungkook hopped on a ship only to face a tragedy that he didnât expect and then thereâs you who somehow couldnât believe to find company in this isolated land. was this fate or was this just a temporary chance of bliss as a challenge for you both?
sleepover by @personasintro f s best friends brother (10.4k)
â Jungkook is your best friendâs little brother who invites you to have a sleepover at his place. Nothing can happen, right?
bottle up old love by @wintaerbaer f s a exes to lovers (4.6k)
â Jungkook may have broken up with you a year ago, but that's not going to stop him from coming to your rescue when he sees you being cornered by a creep.
the devilâs change up by @/jungblue f s a coach au (41.3k)
â Majoring in athletic training means you have mandatory observation hours to perform with every single sports team at your school throughout the year, and so far itâs been going pretty great. However, when regrets from your past cause your rotation with the baseball team to become a little rocky, thereâs one star pitcher who says that he can make it all better.Â
entertainer by @taegularities f s a s2l (32.4k)
â Growing singer Jeon Jungkook is as charismatic as he is self-absored â that is, until he meets you. Caught in a web of secrets, he finds a riddle in you he urges to solve; even ready to turn the spotlight towards you until nothing remains⌠but regret.
habits of a clandestine nature by @alphabetboyluvr s a college au rich jk e2l (16k)
explorer by @/1kook f s alien au s2f2l (17.8k)
â Jungkook does not want to impress the frankly tyrannical ways of his planet on you. He just wants to stay here and keep your couch warm for you, hold your hair back when you wash your face in the morning.Â
million dollar darling by @kooktrash f s a e2f2l crazy rixh asians inspired (19.7k)
â jeon jungkook is well aware of how privileged he is to have been born into the life he was given. it was glamorous and influential yet close-knit and suffocating, something he thought he wanted to escape from. a trip back home to the circle of wealth and snottiness for his best friendâs million dollar wedding has reminded him of all the reasons why he wanted to leave in the first place⌠and all the reasons he should stay â the main one being you, the spoiled rich girl he knew was utterly perfect for him.
little surfer girl by @ppersonna f s a summer love suferjk (9.8k)
â every summer you watched jeon jungkook turn into a perfect, professional surfer. every summer, you wanted him more. this summer, you were determined to make him yours.
the whole of your heart by @lcksndkys f s a husband au band au (8k)
â Save a drum, bang a drummer.
sketch by @moonscriptsx f s soulmate au artist jk (9.6k)
â After sixteen years of dreaming about the same unknown beautiful girl, Jungkook finally gets to put a name to the face â and she's so much more than what he's dreamt of
strings attached (to my heart) by @jungkoode f s spiderkook college au (11.8k)
â You were a journalist at Yonsei University when you started noticing the strange coincidences between your favorite bumbling freshman and Seoul's newest superhero. The way Spider-Man's voice cracks on 'noona' exactly like Jungkook's does. The way they both bring you the same snacks, have the same nervous energy, the same tendency to ramble when flustered. You tell yourself it's just a coincidence, because the alternative means admitting something you're absolutely not ready to deal with.
it was always you by @/hueseok f s a childhood best friends to lovers (13.2k)
â for as long as you remember, youâve always had the fattest crush on your childhood friend, jeon jungkook. it never blossomed into something more though, because thatâs what happens when life naturally takes it courseâyou grow up, you move on, and you pretend that those feelings never existed in order to maintain the good friendship that remained between the two of you over the years.so when he visits you after work one day, asking you to marry him, you do everything you can to refuse, because the reason heâs asking you isnât due to the fact that he finally realized that he loved you after all this time, but because he thinks heâs doing you a big favor.or at least, thatâs what you think.
mio angelo by @/hueseok f s a mafia au established relationship (33.3k)
â itâs no secret to the whole nation how powerful the jeon family was. the efforts of the highly respected don jungsoo was the reason why the name of their clan continues to be a name that people thought greatly of and sometimes even feared. despite your father working alongside with the don, you never truly understood what the family possessed to earn them such acclaim; that is until you got closer to one of his grandsons, jeon jeongguk, that you caught a glimpse of how much power they truly seized as you see it first hand and become a part of it yourself. inspired by the godfather and vincenzo
ultimatum by @parkmuse f s spiderkook (10.3k)
â Your pervy, idiotic boyfriend just so happens to also be your friendly neighborhood Spider-man (in bed).
melomaniac by @jungkxook f s a band au f2l (13k)
â youâre wholeheartedly, madly in love with jungkook and yet you shouldnât be because heâs supposed to be your best friend and nothing more. worst part of it all is that you know heâs in love with you too.
Navigating Tides by @jjungkookislife f s a exes2lovers (18.9k)
â A cruise is the last place you expect to see your ex-boyfriend, Jeon Jungkook. You broke up six months ago, and your best friends Jimin and Yoongi assured you your ex wouldn't even remember this cruise that you booked a year in advance. However, on your first night on board, you discover your ex isn't only on the cruise ship, but there are no rooms available for him to stay in other than yours.
will it fit? by @jeonsweetpea f s idiots2lovers roommate au (6.7K)
â So what if your roommate caught you masturbating? At least he forgot about it the next day. But he canât exactly forget the big dildo you left in your shared bathroomâŚ
pull me down by @starryeyedkoo f a badboy gang college au (22.9k)
â âDo you regret it?â âWhat?â âFalling in love with me? It feels like I only weigh you down.â âIâll let you pull me down to the depths of hell if thatâs what it means to love you.â
espresso by @joonberriess f s a boxer jk idol oc (14.6k)
â a rowdy boxer and the pretty it-girl he bagged by being him. jungkookâs doing anything to prove heâs serious, even if it means making a fool outta himself.
changes in between by @/taegularities f s a roommates s2f2l (24.7k)
â Becoming the roommate of Jeon Jungkook is the biggest change youâve ever gotten thrown into - but little do you know that the addition of another man will bring even further turbulence into your (love) life.
not my fault by @/taegularities f s college au classmates 2 lovers (12.6k)
â After sparking a sinful conversation on a dating app, you vow to yourself that you wonât give in to more the notorious college fuckboy Jeon Jungkook might have to offer. That is, until he rings your doorbell just one night later â and itâs truly not your fault that heâs so damn hard to resist.
the secret beneath our stars by @subvk s a college au f2l (13.1k)
â Falling in love with Jeon Jungkook was everything youâve ever dreamed of and more, but maybe it was exactly that: a dream so blissful and comforting that it was too good to be true, something that could all disappear when the night changes to day, and your eyes open again. Or, making a marriage pact with your best friend was supposed to instill a sense of hope for you, so why does this hurt you more than it should?
mature by @/jiminrings f a pining f2l (8k)
â alternatively, crushing on jungkook who's in your friend group is, has, and will never be a good idea.
movie goers by @mi55delulu f s a e2f2l (16.4k)
â starting off on the wrong foot with your new neighbor was not on the top of your bucket list, yet youâve made an enemy of jeon jungkook in less than 24 hours. unlucky for you, heâs not backing down either.
hopless hearts by @cupofteaguk f idol au s2l (17k)
â you never understood the gravity of your position as an intern working Kcon until you fall for one of your favorite idols, Jeon Jungkookâquite literally too.
dissonance by @/yuzukult f s a rockstar jk student oc (19.4k)
â something that first seems out of reach becomes a reality for him. screaming adoring fans, billboards with him and his band plastered on it, and touring across the globe with venues sold out. he has everything⌠but all heâs missing is you.
this is how we break by @ahundredtimesover f s a exes au (20.6k)
â There are things you prepared for coming back home and that includes seeing your ex-boyfriend, but helping him design his apartment isnât one of them. From meetings over coffee and lunches with your friends, you both learn more about the time in-between, and what you find out leave you heartbroken, wondering if thereâs enough of you left to try to get back what youâd lost.
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âŹlooking for other jjk fics or the other members check out my library
#kiki!fic!rec#moon's recs#jungkook#jungkook:oneshot#jungkook:series#favourites!jjk#jungkook:smut#jungkook:fluff#jungkook:angst#bts fanfiction#bts fanfic#jungkook smut#jungkook fanfiction#jungkook angst#jeon jungkook#jungkook fluff#jungkook series#bts jungkook#jungkook x reader#jungkook scenario#jungkook wattpad#jungkook ao3#jeon jungkook angst#jeon jungkook imagine#jungkook au#jeon jungkook x reader#jjk#jungkook fanfic#jungkook fic#jeon jungkook smut
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I want to talk about Helenaâs performance as Helly and her deep rooted misunderstanding of who Helly is as a person. And just in general how I think she perceives her especially after yesterdayâs episode.
Helena is incredibly attentive, almost to the point of being terrifying. In the short moments she interacts with anyone, everything in her head is already scripted, calculated, and premeditated. Sheâs also a great method actress, reacting based on the energy around her. Itâs like a stand up comic, constantly adjusting their performance to make sure their actions land. If something doesnât click, she shifts.
Throughout the past couple of episodes, Helena spends most of her time just trying to go with the flow move with the water, trying to fit in without standing out, constantly monitoring the group and their reactions at every turn. And so far, she was good at it. She can play the part, until her own emotions towards helly start to blind her.
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In these two pics she does a quick scan of Irvingâs and Marks faces trying to analyze their reactions
Helena knows the group loves Helly. She knows Mark loves Helly. And honestly, Iâd bet every dollar in my bank account that it genuinely makes her want to kill herself. She has zero respect for Helly, and she doesnât need to. To Helena, Helly, and by extension, the group, are low value. Insignificant. At her highest, Helly is just a worker, a cheap extension of herself created with the sole purpose of just being a good employee to be displayed to the public as a little shining lumon puppet. But shit, the bitch canât even do that. Sheâs done quite the opposite. So yeah, not a person to be respected or valued.
This particular disdain (and fuck it, Iâm just gonna say hate) that Helena carries for Helly spills into the bonfire scene with Milchick.
While Milchick is reading the story, enunciating every word like a second grade elementary school teacher, showing pictures like theyâre in a reading circle, I kept wondering to myself if Helena ever experienced something similar to this as a child. How many times has she heard this same story? Or hell, any other old Kier mythology? Lumon, Kier, the Eagan legacy, itâs all sheâs ever known. This world is nothing new to her.
Even though I believe Helena is a loyal servant, she probably didnât love all the weird shit she had to put up with in her childhood. The weight of the Egan legacy probably suffocates her. But she accepted it either way because that was the life she was given. Unlike fucking helly. Fucking helly whoâs forced her into this situation to begin with. In my opinion, all of these particular feelings make their way into Helenaâs reaction to the story as Helly, which could only be described as a middle schooler who suddenly thinks theyâre too old for camp.
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I saw this post someone made about this scene, and like shit, yeah, thatâs probably right. Helena had one chance to shit on the weird religion thatâs been shoved down her throat since birth and she took that chance.
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Helena, in this moment, settles for crude, mocking jokes. She probably does this partially out of her own selfish need for Markâs validation, as well as playing her role trying to fit into the group but I also think itâs a great reflection of her own personal feelings toward Helly. Helly, who wouldâve never acted that way. Helly, who is many things, but never cruel. Helena doesnât seem to understand that. For the moment, Helena takes a step back, flanderizes Helly, reducing her to this cheeky, crude, disruptive little jokester. Thatâs how Helena views her. With no respect. No nuance. Helly has layers Helena does not care to see. Helly doesnât just break rules; she actively causes chaos, subverting everything around her. Sheâs purposefully, and happily, malcontent. A bitch, dare I say, an ungrateful bitch, most likely from Helenaâs point of view.
Irving, who keeps testing her, makes her slip a little more. I talked about this a little bit in my last post about severance, but Helena doesnât take well to being disrespected. She shifts from wanting the groupâs (and mostly Markâs) validation to just wanting to put Irving in his fucking place. These people arenât equal to her in her mind. They arenât cut from the same cloth probably not even made from the same fabric. There are levels to this shit, and they are not on her level.
She says what she says. Itâs cruel. Mostly, itâs stupid on her part.
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And just like Irving said later, and what I said earlier Helly was many things, butâŚ
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What Helena did at the bonfire was a fuck up. An especially surprising one coming from a woman as controlling and calculated as her. Iâm fully convinced all those little mistakes came from a deep frustration within her. Much of that anger, in my opinion, is stewing from the realization that Helly, someone created by her, literally the source of all of Helenaâs recent problems, someone who will stop at nothing to take her down, that person, the woman whoâs literally locked up inside her, is more free than she will ever be.
Yes, Helena has no respect for Helly. Yes, she most likely hates that bitch. But when she herself is acting as Helly, it gives her the opportunity to almost let go. She gets the chance to essentially kill the bitch thatâs been fucking up her life whilst simultaneously getting a chance to talk to this man who cares so deeply for a version of herself she hates, Even if itâs not the most ideal of situations (itâs not), itâs still something. I think, at the bonfire, she reflects on the ridiculous situation sheâs found herself. All this shit caused by some other version of herself that she created, that situation plus all the other shit going down at Lumon is probably alot. And it just all bubbles up inside her. And when sheâs given even the smallest opportunity to let anything out, sheâs going to take it.
Idk itâs therapeutic in a way I guess.
Sheâs unfiltered, blunt, and almost carefree in a way thatâs shocking almost unsettling. Itâs clearly how she sees Helly to some degree, but also her own need to scratch an itch sheâs never dared to before. And even though itâs an act of âHellyâ, it still leaves a clear aftertaste of Helena.
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Keep thinking about these two little moments whilst sheâs making her jokes she not only keeps checking on markâs reaction but also seems to laugh at her self in a way that just seems so genuine almost self deprecating. She acknowledges the ridiculousness of her situation and this dumb ass story sheâs probably heard a million times
In my last post about Severance, I mentioned that Helena is the master of speaking her truth without outright saying it. She hides behind walls, but as Helly, sheâs free to speak without restraint.
(Also her having sex with mark is a clear way of her expressing this new found freedom with in her role as helly but ima talk about that later)
#severance season 2#severance#helena eagan#helly r#mark severance#mark scout#character analysis because I LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS WOMAN.#Britt lower is literally INSANE her acting capabilities are crazy I hope she gets all the awards all of them#character analysis#long post cus I LOVE TO TALK
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Could Get Used To This | Kevin Fiala
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summary: in a space full of chaos, sometimes all you need is a morning at the beach with your fiancĂŠ.
request: yes/no
warnings: nothing!
word count: 0.99k
authors note: we are back again with part two of the one shot wonder event! this was my first time writing for Kevin and I have to say it was nice to write something so soft and sweet even if it was so short!
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You loved the sun.Â
A day by the beach had always been your favourite way to kick off the summer and this year it was no different. You spent your morning lying on your towel, soaking up every bit of sunlight your skin could handle.Â
But Kevin had other ideas for the both of you âliebling!â He whined feeling jealous of how your bikini got to hug your ass and your tits âyes love?â You looked up to see him now stood over you.Â
He had just finished his swim so you were grateful that your sunglasses hid how your eyes drank in the sight of him. Droplets of water ran down his chiseled abs, and you couldnât help but bite at your lip âgood to know I still have it.â Kevin smirked sitting down on his towel next you yours.Â
You sat up, rolling your eyes in the process âthink this allows me to look at you from time to time.â You pointed to the engagement ring that you wore making him laugh in the process âplease you were looking at me like that long before I proposed.â He shot back letting out an amused scoff.Â
Your hand reached up to hold his ânow what is it that you wanted?â You asked reminding him of the fact that he called you first.
He let out a soft âahâ as his cheeks turned a shade of red âI wanted to see if you wanted to go home.â Kevin confessed letting his free hand fiddle with the strap of your bikini âgive us a little more privacy.â There was a sultry sense in his tone that told you all that you really needed to hear.Â
A smirk formed on your lips âseems like youâre the one who is obsessed with me.â You teased him leaning into his touch âyou know I always am.â Kevin nodded getting up as if it was the most obvious thing in the world to everyone around you both.Â
He held his hand out to help you up âand there wonât be a day that itâll change.â Your heart throbbed as he wrapped your towel around your body before he threw his over his shoulder âshould we go?â Kevin asked taking the beach bag into his hand before he used his free hand to lock it into yours.Â
You nodded, slotting your feet into your flip-flops âlead the way.â You pressed a kiss against his shoulder, enjoying the last moments of listening to the waves crashing against the shore.
The walk to and from the beach was something that both of you always found so peaceful with it only being ten minutes. That was actually part of the whole appeal of your home when you bought it.Â
It was the first place you had seen and the moment Kevin saw the grin on your face at how short the walk to the beach was. He knew that there was no better place for the two of you, and the offer was written and sent in that night. By the end of the week after, the place was yours. Now even after all these years, it still came with the same appeal that you both found in it the first time you saw it.Â
You couldnât help but smile as you watched him race to the gate and then wait so he could let you into the backyard first âmy gentleman.â You smiled pressing a kiss against his cheek as you took the bag back from him âthank you baby!â The moment you were in he went back to what he was planning on.Â
Kevin had jumped into your pool first making you laugh as you set your bag on the ground âthe water is perfect!â He called out throwing his hair back out of his eyes.Â
Sometimes you never had to wonder what he would do if he retired, Kevin would happily be a child of the water forever if he could âlet me get my feet in first.â You announced wanting to sit on the edge of the pool for a little bit.Â
He nodded, watching your every move until you too took off your sunglasses âthereâs my pretty wife.â Kevin smiled swimming over to settle between your legs ânot for a few more months.â You corrected him as your wedding was three months away.Â
But he waved you off âfine print details.â Kevin shook his head as he made you throw your head back with a laugh.
It was a sound he swore heâd never get tired of hearing as you grinned looking back at him âI love you.â Kevin announced placing his hands on the pools edge on either side of you.Â
He did that so he could push up to kiss you. The kiss was sweet as he swore he would never get enough of you âI love you too.â Your voice was soft as you watched him settle back in the pool âand I also love you.â Kevin pressed a kiss against your stomach, it had been a few weeks since you found out you were pregnant.Â
So at the moment this stayed just your little secret with him ânow you coming in or do I have to force you in?â Kevin asked not even giving you a chance to respond as he wrapped his arms around your waist pulling you in.Â
Like clockwork your arms wrapped around his shoulders and your legs locked around his hips âKevin!â You squealed scared as if he was going to drop you âIâve got you schatz.â Kevin clicked his tongue before he kissed your temple.Â
He was right the water was indeed perfect, his hands rested against your ass as he settled with both of you in the water âyou are a little shit.â You let out a soft laugh before you shook your head.Â
Kevin grinned pecking your lips once more âyeah and Iâm your little shit.â He was right again, and you didnât want to have it any other way.Â
#ambers one shot wonder#kevin fiala blurbs#kevin fiala x you#hockey blurbs#nhl blurbs#kevin fiala imagines#kevin fiala x reader#amber writes blurbs
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Uncontrolled Chaos: Chapter 41
Notes: AN ANNOUNCEMENT! I wanna say that I have NOT stopped writing neither the 'Juno' fic or the Courtship series. I still plan on continuing those! They just take more time than the Uncontrolled Chaos series does. Uncontrolled Chaos was my first series I started here, and is by far my most followed one, so it is my priority. However, I don't want to become drained by it and that reflect in my writing. This will also hopefully give me more time to give my other series some love too. SO from here on, I will be updating the series every weekend. This doesn't mean I won't still potentially add a chapter here and there during the week if I get a spurt of muse. But as for an actual schedule to go by, I will be doing my best to post at least one update every weekend. Hope this is okay. <3
Summary: Shadow overhears an interesting conversation.
UC Masterpost!
Link to My AO3!
Start:
Amy had been relieved to see Shadow returning with Sonic by his side, both safe and sound. After some hugging and soft reassurances that he was okay as well as some apologies for making her worry, Sonic was able to convince her to go to bed and get some well-deserved rest. Afterwards, Sonic and Shadow went out to the garage to find Tails laying there asleep at the workbench by the radio.
Sonic smiled all soft at the sight, walking over to pick his little brother up and carry him to Shadow.
âCan you take him??â
Shadow blinked, staring at Sonic as if he hadnât quite processed the question before looking at the fox. Then Sonic again. âI-..â
âI need to take care of something.. and he is seriously late for his visit to Snoozetown,â Sonic continues, already moving to carefully hand the kid off to Shadow whether he agrees to such a thing or not, âjust tuck him in for me, huh?â
 âThe fox and I-.. weâre not..,â Shadow tries to defend his case as to why heâs not comfortable with such a task, but Sonic just snorts and rolls his eyes.
âI know you and your Tails arenât close.. but my Tails is close to my Shadow. So he wonât mind.. he may not be showing it, but heâs really missinâ Shadow, too.. itâs why heâs been overworking himself to get him back home to us.â
Shadowâs brows knit slightly at this, looking down at the fox thatâs been pushed into his arms before sighing and giving a small nod, âAlright..â
âThank you.â
Shadow turns, carrying the fox cradled in his arms to the door and through the home. Heâs not actually sure which room belongs to the fox, but he does know which ones are the guest room and which one is Sonicâs. So by process of elimination, he finds it quite easily. Itâs very tidy. Clean. The bed has a white comforter with bright red stripes on it. He wonders if the foxâs favorite color is also red like Sonicâs..
He also wonders why the hell he knows that.
Moving to the bed, he ever so carefully shifts a hand from under the kitâs back to reach and pull back the comforter, laying the child down then and pursing his lips as he looks him over. Heâs still got his shoes on.. and his big, bushy tails are hanging off the side of the bed..
A nurturing nature heâs long forgotten begins kicking in, moving to carefully slip off the foxâs red shoes and place them neatly at the foot of the bed. Picking up one tail at a time, he ever so gently and tenderly tucks them up on the mattress and covers them with the comforter to keep them from dangling off. Tails shift in his sleep then, groaning quietly and smacking his lips together and rolling onto his side further into the middle of the bed before parting his lips to snooze quietly through them. Shadow smirks ever so slightly, carefully tucking the comforter into the kitâs sides to make him nice and cozy..Â
Then heâs moving to the window and shutting the blinds and closing the curtains. End of the world or not, the kid needs some actual sleep. So he doesnât want any sunlight waking him early.Â
Once all this is done, Shadow makes his way back to the doorway and grabs the knob to slowly shut itâ pausing just before it shuts to take one last look at the child..
Heâs never stopped in all this mess to think about it, really.. how this worldâs Shadowâs absence has effected people other than Sonic..
With the other Shadow having moved in after being found by Sonic⌠he supposes the other Shadow may have taken on an older brother figure to the kit as well. Which means when this worldâs Shadow went missing, this Sonic didnât just lose a lover.. but this fox lost a brother..
Their family was broken.
Shadowâs lips curl into a thoughtful frown at this thought.. crimson eyes watching the kitâs shoulders rise and fall with his deep breaths as he sleeps.Â
His mind canât help but wander back to a time when he himself was someoneâs brother..
To a time when tucking in a restless and tired child at night wasnât uncommon. A time when being loved and missed by someone wasnât such a distant thought nor outside the realm of possibilities. A time when he loved someone too.. took care of them. Protected them.Â
Had a family.
His eyes shut and behind his closed lids, orange fur is replaced with blonde hair and a blue headband..
He closes the door.
Making his way towards the room he sleeps in, he finds Sonic still isnât there resting..
So he instead makes his way back down the stairs to check on him, assuming heâs still in the garage once he doesnât find him in either the living room or the kitchen.
Walking to the garage door, he opens it only to immediately pause upon hearing a quiet voice speaking from the inside..
âI just miss you so much..â
âI know, my love.. weâre getting closer, though. It wonât be long until I have you in my arms again.â
âFuck..,â the unmistakable sound of Sonicâs breathy little chuckle along with a wet sniffle, âYou sound so damn cheesy..â
âI canât help it. Not having you with me has made me delusionally cheesy.â
Sonic snorts, Shadow peeking around the door to see him sitting at the workbench with the radio on.. speaking into it to who he can only assume is his Shadow..
Heâs got small tears rolling down his cheeks, but heâs smiling bright and wide.. Shadow canât help but feel a bit lighter seeing this.
Heâs glad theyâre working things out.
ââŚHowâd the other Sonic take the news of us being together?â
Shadowâs ears perk up at that, leaning a bit more against the door as his curiosity gets the better of him. He shouldnât be eavesdropping.. he should leave and go to bed. Rest.
But..
âNot great at first,â the otherâs Shadow voice sighs through the speaker, âBut he came aroundâŚâ
âHe feel embarrassed for not figuring it out until earlier??âÂ
âPerhaps a little.. but I think most of it was just.. a lot of self loathing.â
âThatâs.. really sad,â Sonic frowns, leaning a his cheek on his hand as his elbow props on the table, âWhy the self loathing??â
âHe blames himself for a lot of the differences in our worlds.. for not looking for his version of me after the battle on ARK.â
âWell, dude shouldâve looked,â Sonic huffs with a spiteful roll of his eyes.
âItâs not that simple, darling..â
âDonât see how it ainât. Nothing couldâve stopped me from looking for you..â
âAn inhibitor ring might..â
Thereâs a long moment of silence.Â
Shadowâs own eyes widen slightly as he listens, brows furrowing as his hand squeezes the knob of the door heâs holding a bit tighter..
âWhat.. what dâya mean?â
âItâs.. itâs just a lot,â the other Shadow sighs through the radio speaker, sounding tired and distressed over the entire topic, âJust trust me when I say him not looking for me wasnât because he didnât care..â
âAlright.. Iâll trust you.â
âWhat of the other Shadow, though?? Has he handled the situation well? Has he been kind to you?? This Sonic seems to think heâs pretty intense..â
Sonic chuckles, rolling his eyes fondly, âIntense is definitely one word for him.. but yeah. Heâs cool. A bit icy, but so were you at first. Itâs honestly been both a pain and extremely endearing having to deal with you being this way again.â
âYou miss me being a pain?â
âWellâ no. But itâs just.. nostalgic, I guess?â
âMaybe I should be an ass to you more when I get back.â
âAs if you need to be any more of an ass than you already are,â Sonic teases with a giggled little grin. The other Shadowâs chuckling can be heard through the speakers.
â..I was just worried. This Sonic is pretty convinced the guy hates him. Didnât want him mistreating you..â
âHeâs been fine,â Sonic assures softly.
Shadow frowns a bit at hearing this.. hearing his own Sonic thinks he hates him. Though he shouldnât be surprised by this.. what has he really done to make his Sonic think otherwise??
âAgain, heâs-.. grumpy.. and a bit difficult now and then, but nothing I canât handle or havenât handled before.â
âGood,â the other Shadow sighs, âSo this Sonic is just projecting his self-loathing onto his Shadow, then?â
âProbably, yeah,â Sonic nods with a shrug as if the other Shadow can see his body language, âBut thereâs definitely some tension between them.. hate or not, theyâre not exactly friendly.â
âMm. Definitely not..â
âIs it wrong of me to want to meddle???â Sonic chuckles.
âMeddling wouldnât be the best idea,â the other Shadow sounds amused nonetheless, âDonât be more of a troublemaker than you already have been.â
âHey- youâre the one using chaos control with a fake emerald and switching places with alternate dimensional versions of yourself!â
âTouchĂŠ.â
âI just think they could be happy,â Sonic defends with a shrug, finger tracing invisible circles on the workbench heâs leaning against, âDonât like seeing any version of you so alone and sad.. the brooding is nostalgic and amusing and all, but itâs also just kinda depressing.â
âI know, love.. but we have to consider the fact that maybe thatâs just how itâs meant to be in their world. Maybe theyâre simply better off the way they currently are. We just-.. just may not be meant to be in every universe..â
âYou really believe that?â Sonic asks quietly, brows knitting with a knowing little smile on his muzzle.. he knows better. He already knows the answer.
â..No.â
âMe neither.â
A heavy sigh comes from the other Shadow again, Shadow himself furrowing his brows in thought over this whole conversation..
They really believe that Sonic and Shadow are suppose to be together in every universe?? Thatâs such a close-minded way of thinking. A dumb one. An illogical one..
And yet Shadow.. almost admires it. Admires the fact they love each other enough to truly think that their bond extends all barriers of time and space.. that itâs simply inevitable.
â..Theyâll work it out on their own.. for now, Iâm more concerned with getting back to you.â
âAw yeah?â Sonicâs voice takes up a playful little tone, âWhatcha gonna do to me when you get back..?â
Shadowâs eyes widen slightly, a blush beginning to grow on his muzzle.
A low chuckle rumbles through the radioâs speakers, âSuch things arenât appropriate to be spoken through this microphone, darling..â
âCâmon..,â Sonic coos, his tail swishing back and forth behind him as he leans closer to the radio, âMâall alone.. give me somethinâ to think about while youâre away..â
And that is Shadowâs cue to leave, yup.
Heâs moving to shut the door silently, turning to hurry his way back up to the bedroom before he hears anymore of that.
Once in Sonicâs room, he closes the door behind him and sighs heavy as he leans his back against it. His eyes stare down at the floor, taking in everything he just heard and processing it slowly.
There were three big things that stuck out to him more than anything else.
His Sonic blames himself for not finding Shadow after the ARK Battle.
His Sonic thinks he hates him.
And the alternate Sonic and Shadow both believe that their love is inevitable.
Itâs all a lot to swallow. And he himself doesnât know which to believe and which to just brush aside..
He runs a hand back through his quills, taking a deep breath through his nose before sighing it out to push himself off the door and walk to the bed.
He knew going off of this Sonic and Shadowâs conversation and interpretations of the situation was pathetic. And foolish. If he wanted to get any real solutions and answers, he needed to talk to his Sonic himself. One on one..
But then the entire idea of such a thing seemed silly because that shouldnât be his priority right now. He needs to get home. Not be worrying about figuring out him and that Fakerâs history. He needs to be in the present, in the now.
Deal with that first..
And then.. when he was back home..
Maybe-âŚ
Just maybe..
#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#sonadow#my post#my writing#my fanfiction#fanfiction#sonadow fanfiction#uc series#slow burn#enemies to lovers#angst with a happy ending#tails prower#sonic and tails#tails the fox#miles tails prower#sth#shadonic#sonic#shadow#tails#amy rose
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Iâm sending this because I saw your post on the tags. Youâre not a Tom Holland fan, youâre a Peter Parker/Spider-Man fan. You only talk about this character on your blog. Youâre a Marvel stan. I doubt you can't even name more than 5 Tom projects that aren't Spider-Man movies. Youâre not obssesed with him, youâre obssesed with his version of the character which is not the same as being a fan of the actor and support his career outside of one thing.
Well this is a very rude way of supporting someone who only promotes kindness and adores his work with Spider-Man.
First of all, this is a Marvel side blog. So I only post about Marvel and adjacent things on here, in my personal life and other blogs I do have other interests. I will also say I have a hyperfixation on Marvel, especially the MCU, and my favourite character since I was a child is Spider-Man. So yes, that is my favourite Tom Holland role, he is my favourite spidey, so my blog focuses on him a lot. And the thing about hyperfixations is 1. I can't control it and 2. I am literally mentally ill about him.
But I do absolutely adore Tom Holland as an actor, so I'll take this as an opportunity to gush about some of my favourite projects of his!
The Crowded Room: If someone says Tom isn't a good actor I know for a fact they've never seen this. The amount of roles he plays in this, heavy and variable, was remarkable. Switching between the accents, mannerisms, even down to the way they stand. I was in complete awe, especially when he would switch between them without cuts. I watched an interview where he said he doesn't memorize scripts completely, but he learns the characters so deeply that he knows what they'd say and do anyways. To do that in a role like this just shows how seriously he takes the art. The story in and of itself was very moving, well written, and paced beautifully. I loved all the characters and how they fit together in order to protect Danny. 10/10 would recommend, there is heavy subject matter and I cried when he was on the stand and they didn't believe he had DID (especially when the man who loved him also started doubting if Ariana was real), and then again when he said Adam was him :(
Cherry: Incredibly real story, hurt my heart that people go through this. Tom did a fantastic job being respectful of the subject matterâa veteran with PTSD who falls into drug addiction and crime to fuel it. You can see his character harden over time, and I have a crush on the version of Cherry when he was in college hehe. The way he loves Emily so intensely through it all, how reverently he treats her, and his total breakdown when she overdoses. He rather have her clean and away from him than be together in their suffering. And it has a happy ending! Ngl Tom with a mustache made me giggle, just looks so silly lol. I know he can't grow facial hair to save his life
Uncharted: While Tom is fantastic in those heavy roles and I love seeing him cry, let my boy have fun! This movie was a great action movie, and idc about all the video game nerds who says he isn't a good fit for Nathan. He might not be Nathan, but he is BORN for action babyyy. Suave, intelligent, and sweet. I know he had a lot of fun with this role and is a big fan of the game, so happy he got it! I am still hoping for a sequel because I need Tom in more action and light-hearted films
Chaos Walking: The sci-fi aspects of this are really cool, and a unique way of commentating on patriarchy. The plot twists were cool and Todd Hewitt is my sweet little feminist king. He's so funny to me, bro is trying his best, I definitely view Todd as an underdog who has all this responsibility put on him. World building and characterization was sick, wish it got a bit more love
The Devil All the Time: Okay this movie was objectively really good but SO WEIRD? I felt very discomfited after. But Tom's character was definitely my absolute favourite, what a terrible journey he goes through. Even though the movie was odd Tom made it all worth it. A genuinely good guy pushed to do terrible things because of other terrible people, like yes you get em king!!! Had me on the edge of my seat
The Impossible: The fact that this was his first film!? SO INTENSE, and yet he did fantastic. Tom Holland didn't really plan to be an actor, he truly just had greatness thrust upon him. Scooped up as Billy Elliot, then scouted as Lucas in this film. He genuinely has a natural talent for this stuff, this movie is based off a true story and seeing the devastation and little Tom covered in dirt and grieving his family that is still alive, oh gosh. Heavy but the happy ending will make you cry.
Can I also say lip sync battle as one of my fave projects? I need this man to do more dancing or at least physical work. So enamored with him and his confidence. It's interesting looking back on that video after a recent interview he spoke about how young he was and eager, but as an adult (and the adults around him at the time) being more hesitant and cautious about putting yourself in the media like that. It's been cool watching Tom mature!
Films I would not recommend as a Tom Holland fan:
How I Live Now: Tom isn't in it that much, and it was a really slow, disturbing film. I felt sad, gross, and uncomfortable watching it, just for Tom to barely be seen. Do not recommend
Edge of Winter: Also a very disturbing film. Tom was in it more, but it's mostly a slow horror film without much closure, and Tom's character isn't that interesting. Bland and uncomfortable
Now I'm not interested in his animated voice work, and I don't like period pieces, so I haven't seen those films. But if they're great enough and Tom has a good role in them pls feel free to recommend!
I just want to say you don't need to hit a quota to be a fan of someone. If you like one song, book, film... you're allowed to call yourself a fan! Gate-keeping art is not cool, and even if someone only likes one character then that sure is one fantastic character. Spider-Man is something very important to Tom; it's a big part of his career, he met his future wife through it, it changed his world to become his childhood hero. And his depiction of Spider-Man is something very special to me. It isn't just the character, it's him; the freshness, the awkwardness, the naivety he brought to Peter that Andrew and Tobey didn't choose to do. It is such a fantastic character to show off his physical skills, humour, his range from childishness to the grief and fury. You look at him in Homecoming and compare it to NWH and you see how Tom has evolved the character. I'm in awe of every thing Tom Holland does, but Spider-Man is 6 huge projects of his and to be more, which shows so much of his skill.
I also love his interviews. He's a very down to Earth, sweet, and genuine man. I think he's funny, charismatic and confident, but has fantastic work-life balance. I watched that 2 hour interview of his talking about spirituality and mental health, and seeing where he is now with Bero after his struggles with alcohol warms my heart. I wish I could have seen his Romeo & Juliet production, but in the least I think it was a nice break from the big screen for him. And best believe I was fighting for my life in comment sections for his costarsâthe racism was disgusting. One day that man is going to be a father and we'll never see him again, and I'll support that too. Can't wait for his Nolan film, can't believe how far he's come so quickly, and oh yes, I'm most excited for more Spider-Man films ;)
#tom holland#ask#anon#thanks for giving me an opportunity to gush about one of my FAVE ACTORS#I'm assuming you are very young but it is not okay to hate on someone when they express love or joy for something harmless.#next time try âit seems you only like his one character so id recommend these great projects!â#they probably aren't even going to see this anyway#spider man#giggles#long post
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madness
Vash the Stampede/Nicholas D. Wolfwood, Meryl Stryfe & Milly Thompson & Nicholas D. Wolfwood, Meryl Stryfe/Milly Thompson | M | 17120 words |Â read here
"The first time he hears the name âVash the Stampedeâ again after twelve torturously long months, Wolfwoodâs drinking brandy." In light of some new circumstances, running away is no longer an option Wolfwood can entertain. Not from his own feelings, overwhelming as they may be; and, crucially, not from Vash. Not anymore. The road of penance - the road back to him - is far from easy, but perhaps Wolfwood won't have to pursue it all alone. In any case, it would be madness not to try.
#trigun#trigun stampede#nicholas d. wolfwood#vash the stampede#vashwood#trigun fics#my fics#fic: madness#my little chaos child......go into the world
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Bloodlines entwined: I | jjk
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⤡ having a baby alone was supposed to be easy. but an accidental twist of fate pulled you into a hidden world of werewolves, and ancient bloodlines. navigating your already complicated life becomes even harder as you uncover your past; one tied to a legacy you never knew existed. and in the middle of this chaos stands jungkook, the werewolf king⌠and the father of your child.Â
â Â pairing: werewolf!jungkook x female readerÂ
â Â genre: strangers to lovers, parents-to-be au, royalty au, werewolves au, soulmates au, angst, fluff, and smutÂ
â rating: 18+Â
â Â words: 7,213
â Â warnings: strong language, mention of death, mention of murder, mention of loneliness, mention of blood, several mentions of abortion, and crying
â authorâs note: here it is the first chapter of this series! <3 iâm actually very excited about this entire universe, iâve been working on it for a little while already & iâve been taking my time to write each part đ¤ the beginning is inspired by Jane the Virgin and the Flash as they are both my favorite shows ⨠i hope youâll enjoy this part & donât hesitate to let me know what you think đ Â
taglist is closed!
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Chapter I: when worlds collide
SERIES MASTERLIST | next
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Sitting in your car, youâve been looking blinkingly at the windshield, hands trembling against the steering wheel. For ten whole minutes, youâve been frozen like this as if moving would shatter the fragile sense of calm youâve barely managed to hold together.
Your life is about to drastically change; you know it deep down. Â
âThe deed is done,â you whisper to yourself.
You let out a shaky breath, and your reflection in the rearview mirror catches your eye. You look exhausted, your eyes wide and glistening.
For two years, this moment has been building. You have thoughtfully considered having a child on your own. At first, it was just a random thought that crossed your mind, a curiosity born on one of those quiet, lonely moments where life felt both too much and not enough. Then, you deeply thought about it. The idea rooted itself deep within you, anchoring into something raw and tender: a longing to create a family on your own terms.Â
After much research and consideration, you decided to go for it.
Many people couldnât understand your choice, but honestly, you donât give two shits about othersâ opinions. What did matter to you was the support of close family and friends.
Felix, the man who raised you after your parents were stolen from you, proposed to accompany you to the fertility clinic, but you gently declined his offer. This was something you wanted to do by yourself. Well, you just came alone to be inseminated. Other than that, he has been by your side every step of the way.
He helped you to go through the countless donor profiles, and every document needed for this adventure of yours.
The process was a bit long and emotionally draining. The first steps were more like an evaluation, mostly for the clinic to understand your reasons and ensure youâve deeply thought about all the aspects. Having a kid alone isnât just about fulfilling your dreams but also about building a life for a child.
Once youâve successfully completed those steps, you had to choose the donor. There were a lot of choices; it was like going grocery shopping. You were handed a catalog of potential donors with their medical histories and first names. It felt odd to be choosing the progenitor like this. After going through every profile, one of them stood out.
Following the donor selection, your cycles and hormone levels were tracked. When all was good, youâd get inseminated on your ovulation period, which technically is happening this week. Â
So, ten minutes ago, you walked out of the clinic after being artificially knocked up.
If your egg is fertilized, in nine months, youâll welcome your very much desired baby. A tiny human who will call you mom. You already picked the names, one for a girl, one for a boy. You simply canât wait to welcome a tiny human in your life. Hopefully, the life of your baby will be better than yours.
You lean your head against the steering wheel, closing your eyes as the ghosts of your past surface.
Twenty years ago, your life was turned upside down when a terrible murderer put an end to your parentsâ lives. Nobody ever found him or her; itâs like the person completely vanished into the night. That person left behind a little girl with questions nobody could ever answer and scars nobody could understand. Â
Since you didnât have any family left, you were raised by your fatherâs best friend, Felix. Over time, he became like a second father to you. Even though you were full of anger when he took you over, he stayed by your side and helped you navigate this sad reality; one where your parents werenât part of anymore.
His daughter, Lexi is your age. You were already so close, and living under the same roof brought you even closer. Sheâs your super best friend, almost like a sister today. A smile grows on your face as you think of her. Your life would have been a nightmare without her.
Lexi was the first person to be aware of this desire to become a single mother. She even pushed you to do it as soon as you could, and she has encouraged you like nobody else. She also helped you select a donor; she even made fun of the names of some of them.
Your phone buzzes; the name and picture of Lexi appearing on the screen.
âHi,â you say when you pick up.
âSoo,â she says. âHow did it go?â
âGood, I guess?â you say with clear hesitation. âThe doctor just inserted a thin catheter, looked at the screen, and said it was done,â you explain. âNow we just have to wait.â
Waiting is now the worst part, especially since you decided not to take any pregnancy test until the next appointment. Meaning, you have to wait two full weeks.
âLetâs hope the donorâs little swimmers are good ones,â she says.
While you always wanted to have a kid, Lexi never wanted one. You and her are total opposites but thatâs what helped create such a strong bond between you. âYeah, letâs hope for that,â you smile. Â
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Two weeks later
A couple of days ago, you took a blood test, and now, youâre in the waiting room, patiently waiting for the doctor to call you up.
These past two weeks, youâve been internally battling to take a pregnancy test. Itâs been hard to fight the urge to discover beforehand if youâre expecting or not. On your way to the clinic, your heart was beating extremely fast with nervousness. Even the music playing in the car didnât seem to calm you down.
Even though youâre extremely nervous, a part of you knows. You canât explain it, but you feel it deep down. Two nights ago, you were lying in bed completely exhausted after an intense day at work. The rhythm of your heartbeat was rocking you to sleep. Amidst the thrum of your own heart, you swear you could hear a faint, smaller, and quicker rhythm.
You instantly opened your eyes, scanning the room. The sound wasnât coming from outside. It felt like it was inside you. You stayed perfectly still, listening to that tiny sound. That night, you were rocked to sleep by that new rhythm.
The morning after, as you caught your reflection in the bathroomâs mirror, something felt off. Your brows furrowed as you noticed your own scent was different. It felt like it was mixed with somebody elseâs scent, but it wasnât as strong as yours or any other living human. It was extremely odd.
After a little while, the doctor says your name, and with shaky legs, you walk to her office. Your heart is beating at a very crazy pace, ready to burst at any moment. This is so stressful; it feels like time is moving so slowly.
âHello yn,â the doctor smiles at you while youâre entering the room. âHow have you been feeling?â you now take a seat.
âIâm good, thanks,â you smile back at her.
She sits down at her desk and takes a look at her computer.
âSo, did you take any pregnancy test?â she asks.
âNo, no,â you answer. âI wanted to keep the surprise for today.â
âI see,â she looks again at her screen before taping on her keyboard.
She seems to quickly read something before her smile widens. Your heart is going completely crazy. It really makes you nervous, and you try to mentally prepare yourself to receive the bad news as well. Itâll definitely break your heart but youâll try again. Â
This entire process is quite expensive, but the payment can be spread out over time rather than made in one shot. With this first payment, you have the right to three attempts. If pregnancy isnât achieved after those attempts, youâll have to go through another round and pay for additional attempts.
The doctor mentioned that usually, it takes about three to six attempts to achieve a successful pregnancy. Hopefully, youâll get pregnant within those first three tries. Youâre not entirely sure youâll be able to afford another round of insemination. Â Â
âWell, it looks like it only took you one try to conceive,â she informs you.
And right there, your heart bursts with joy. Thereâs indeed a little human being growing inside you. Youâll become a mother in nine months. You canât believe it.
A little tear runs down your face as you hear the good news. Itâs such a relief. You won't have to worry about coming back for another round.
âThatâs good news,â you clean the tear on your cheek.
âIt is indeed,â she says. âIn four weeks more or less, weâll plan an ultrasound to confirm the embryoâs implantation and check for a heartbeat,â she adds.
Well, youâll still get worried about that because maybe until there, your baby will not survive. But you need to remain positive. No need to start stressing about it; you promised yourself that youâll try to remain calm the entirety of the process and pregnancy so youâll offer a great beginning of life to your baby.
âIâm very hopeful everything will go well because both you and the donor are in good health,â she says.
âLetâs hope for that,â you answer.
You then proceed to schedule the next appointment in four weeks. You canât hide the immense smile on your face. This is the best news you got today. Nothing else will ever be possible to ruin this day.
When you leave the clinic, you instantly call Lexi.
âI AM PREGNANT!â you scream with excitement.
âYeeeah,â she screams as well. âIâm going to be an aunty!â she adds.
âIâm so relieved that this first attempt was successful,â you admit.
Once you get inside your car, you touch your belly to caress it.
âThat baby is so lucky to have you as a mother,â she says after. âAnd even more lucky to join our family.â
For sure, your family will extremely love this baby. Itâs such a desired baby, and everybody has been so excited.
âTheyâll be so loved,â you reply.
âThereâs absolutely no doubt,â she says. âDad will be so happy about this news; heâs been so excited to become a grandpa.â
Felix has expressed lately that he couldnât wait to welcome a baby and become a granddad. This man has raised you for twenty years, and you consider him as a second father. Thereâs no doubt that your baby will see him as their grandfather even if, biologically speaking, he isnât.
When you hang up, you stare into the void for a couple of minutes. In this moment, you wish your parents would be here. They would have been so happy to become grandparents, but they wonât be by your side for this new chapter of your life.
They are also the reason why youâre doing all of this. Since they passed, thereâs been a tremendous emptiness inside you that even the love of Felix couldnât fill in. This void stems mostly from the fact that you were left alone when they were killed. Youâve been feeling so lonely since then.
Throughout your life, you tried to fill it with relationships but they all failed. As far as you can remember, you wanted to follow the traditional path to build a family. However, it never worked out. Then, one day, you saw a brochure about single mothers, and youâve been thinking about it since then.
Youâve seen motherhood as a role that will fill this emotional void youâve been carrying for years. Plus, youâve also seen it as a way to finally control your life. Twenty years ago, someone decided for you what your life would become. This wasnât fair.
And you also want to give your baby the life you never got. You want to give them a loving family that wonât disappear the second the parents die. Outside of your parents, you didnât have a family. Based on what Felix told you, your grandparents were against your parents' relationship so they moved into another city to live freely and build a family.
Life hasnât been fair for you, but you want to make it fair for your baby.
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Two weeks later
The clinic called you this morning to urgently come in the afternoon, only making you grow concerned during the day. You kept wondering what the reason for such urgency would be. Did they notice something when they did the blood test? Did they get the wrong blood test? Are you even really pregnant?Â
However, youâre a hundred percent sure youâre carrying a life inside you. You havenât had the ânormalâ early symptoms yet, but you can feel your baby inside you. The faint heartbeat can still be heard, and thereâs still that subtle scent interwoven with yours.
For the past two weeks, youâve repeatedly inhaled this new scent, almost to make sure you werenât hallucinating. Most of the time, you wondered if it wasnât something like blood, sweat, or the smell of your new shampoo. It was definitely an earthly one. One that only a human can possess.
Once inside the clinic, youâre instantly installed in the doctorâs room. Your heart is crazily beating inside your chest; youâre so nervous right now. Seconds later, a man joins you in the room.
At first glance, youâd think he is the CEO of a huge company. Heâs fully dressed in a black suit with a white shirt underneath, his hands casually placed in his pants pockets. This man is extremely charismatic; something about him draws you in. Â
The man looks at you while frowning, his eyes moving from your eyes to your belly. By reflex, you cover your stomach with your hands. Heâs making you uncomfortable with his intense stare.
He has a very strong bestial scent, it predominates his cologne. Everything about him is imposing, even the way his heart beats; itâs so calm while yours is completely erratic. The manâs eyes are clued on you.
The doctor arrives right after and closes the door behind her. Her face is quite serious; she even seems concerned.
âMiss y/l/n,â she takes a seat at her desk. âMister Jeon,â she looks at the man behind you. âPlease take a seat.â
The two of you sit down next to each other with apprehension. You can hear his heart beating a little faster, but he remains extremely calm on the outside. Â
âThereâs been a mistake,â she starts saying.
The words hang in the air, heavy with unspoken implications. The doctor pauses, giving you time to absorb the gravity of the statement. Her tone is gentle, but at the same time professional. Â
The sterile, cold walls of the room seem to close in around you as the doctorâs words pierce through your thoughts.
âThere was a mix-up with the sampleâŚâ your breath is caught in your throat, your hands trembling. âWe were supposed to inseminate you with the donor sample you selected. We still donât know how but you got inseminated with Mister Jeonâs sample.â
Your eyes look at the man sitting next to you. All you can see in his eyes is the same disbelief that reflects your own. So, this is your childâs father. Â
Many questions cross your mind, but they remain unspoken, lodged in your throat.
âWe truly apologize for our mistake,â she says. âWe were totally aware you both wanted to have a child alone.â
You desired nothing more than being alone in this adventure; you didnât want a present father. That was the whole point of a donor. Now, you know the father of your child, and heâd probably like to be present.
For the past months, you went through a series of questions regarding the fact that youâll raise your child alone. They asked you many times how youâd explain to your child that they donât have a father. This now feels like a complete waste of time.
âWe understand the nature of this situation. We will refund the totality of the treatmentâs costs. We can also terminate the pregnancy if you both wish.â
Those words seem so heavy and yet, they represent the reality of the choice you now have to face. A knot tightens in your stomach at the thought of undoing something you wished for so long. The baby is now growing inside of you, youâve got used to falling asleep with their tiny heartbeat. The only thought of not having it anymore breaks your heart beyond comprehension.
Right now, everythingâyour carefully constructed plans, your hopes, the small life growing inside youâseems to be slipping through your fingers.
Mister Jeon is silent beside you, his hands clenched into fists on his knees. He seems as stunned as you, but you canât help but think that thereâs something else there too. Something deeper and darker.
You ignore if heâs thinking the same thing as you, but you can feel it: the strange twist of fate pulling you both into an unknown world, one you both hadnât planned for.
âYou still have some time to decide, of course,â the doctorâs voice is still very soft.
Time seems irrelevant now. Thereâs a choice you need to make; a choice you didnât expect to face. You swallow hard, your heart racing inside your chest. Your hands caress your belly through your shirt while you only hear the babyâs fragile heartbeat.
This isnât supposed to happen. This canât be real.
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Jungkookâs face went pale as the doctorâs words sank in.
âThereâs been a mistake,â she starts saying.
Just like you, the roomâs white walls feel suffocating, the air thick with a tension he canât shake. A mistake. His mistake. He tried to avoid this situation. He was supposed to go through surrogacy to guarantee a child that would uphold his lineage. His werewolf lineage, pure and untouched by human blood.
âThere was a mix-up with the sampleâŚâ the doctorâs words hang up in the air like a death sentence. âWe were supposed to inseminate you with the donor sample you selected. We still donât know how but you got inseminated with Mister Jeonâs sample.â
His eyes quickly look at you, and he notices how much youâre shaking. It seems like youâre in a more devasted state than he is. Â
âWe truly apologize for our mistake,â she says. âWe were totally aware you both wanted to have a child alone.â
Jungkook blinks, trying to absorb what is happening. A human child. Nonetheless, his child. Having children with humans isnât just a personal choice; itâs a fundamental rule of the werewolf society. The very foundation of his power as the king depends on the purity of his bloodline. To break the rule is to risk everything.
He knows better than anyone what happens to the werewolf-human hybrid kids together with the parents. They are killed by the pack. Being a king doesnât make him the exception to the rule. If this pregnancy goes to full term, not only will he be killed, but the baby and the lady sitting next to him will too. Â
You didnât ask for any of this. You donât deserve to die because of a mistake.Â
His gaze filled with frustration and panic moves toward you once more as his pulse quickens. He wanted control over the situation. He never intended to father a hybrid child. And now, not only is he involved in this pregnancy, but the child is going to carry his blood mixed with human genetics. God only knows what can happen to this kid, genetically speaking.
âWe understand the nature of this situation. We will refund the totality of the treatment costs. We can also terminate the pregnancy if you both wish.â
âThis canât be happeningâ, he thinks.
His eyes move back to the doctors, his hands clenched into fists. The thought of the entire werewolf community learning of this is unbearable. And what is his mother going to think of this?
She was the first person to support him in this surrogacy journey. She knew how important it was for him to have a child as soon as possible because heâd been struggling to find someone with whom heâd mate. Having an heir is the first thing a king should do to ensure the legacy.
Now, heâs about to have a child with a human. Thatâs not possible. This child wonât have a pure bloodline, this child canât ever be an heir. Â Â Â Â
âYou still have some time to decide, of course,â the doctorâs voice is still very soft.
The idea of termination seems dreadful, but the possibility of a hybrid child heir seems even worse. His responsibility as king, and the traditions that have been in place for centuries donât allow for such breach. To raise a kid with human blood would mean instant disgrace, not only for him but for his entire family. How could he even be respected after this?
His entire world is slipping through his fingers. His position as king is now in jeopardy. This baby will destabilize the entire werewolf community. Nobody will respect him and will only see him as weak. Weak for having a human child.
Thereâs no going back. His mind tries to find a solution to fix this, or how to undo this. The idea of raising a child with a humanâno matter how much it is his responsibilityâis unthinkable. He never desired this and hasnât even considered it. He has been so focused on maintaining his bloodline that the idea of a mistake happening never crossed his mind.
Your presence beside him destabilizes him beyond comprehension. He can see the confusion in your eyes mixed with disbelief. You canât comprehend the extension of this entire problem. You canât even comprehend the danger of mixing bloodlines, because you arenât a werewolf.
Jungkook stands in silence for a moment, his mind racing with thoughts. Terminating this pregnancy isnât something he desires, but having a child with a human is simply impossible. His heart beats too crazily, and he can hear yours beating just as fast. His heart and duty are pulling him in two different directions.
Finally, his eyes meet yours. His voice is soft but it carries a heavy weight. âWe need to decide. This affects both of us.â
After what felt like an eternity, you both leave the room completely shaken up by the news you just got. How could this be happening?
As youâre both walking in the clinic in the parking lotâs direction, none of you dares to speak. Youâre a complete stranger to Jungkook. All he knows is that youâre a human carrying his child.Â
âI canât have that child,â he finally breaks the silence.
His words cause you to stop.
âItâs too early for me to consider terminating this pregnancy,â you admit. âI need time.â
Jungkook understands your perspective. Itâs not a decision you lightly take, especially if youâve come to this clinic to have a child. Itâd be completely absurd to abort after going through this entire process.
âOf course,â he says. âBut I want you to know my point of view.â
You nod, understanding his perspective as well. This is such a horrible situation. Jungkook wanted to have an heir while you simply wanted to have a child on your own. On top of that, he doesnât look like the donor you selected.
âSo if I decide to keep it, would you be out?â you ask.
Jungkook considers your words. Thereâs a possibility that the baby could still exist, but he wouldnât be part of their life. Heâd still be losing because he wants a child, but at least this way, his position wouldnât be jeopardized, and no one would get hurt or killed. Â
âItâs possible,â he honestly answers.
You nod once more. Even though he decides not to be part of his childâs life, heâd still know that he has a kid somewhere. He wouldnât have any trouble finding you; he already knows your smell, and he has the means to find you.
âOkay,â you say.
Jungkook watches you take a pen and paper from your purse before writing something.
âThis is my phone number,â you hand him the piece of paper. âIn case you change your mind or take a decision.â
The man takes the piece of paper while you give him a small smile. You start walking away, his eyes following you until you disappear inside a car.
In this situation, he definitely would like to ask his mother for advice, but he canât. He already knows the answer sheâll give him. âThis baby canât exist.â And sheâs right, but he canât force you to terminate the pregnancy. Itâs your body after all.
In the eventuality that you decide to proceed with the pregnancy, he guesses heâll let you be a mother alone and pretend like this kid doesnât exist.
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Youâve spent the last two days crying in bed. The conversation with the doctor and this mysterious Mister Jeon has been playing over and over in your head. You can still picture everything so clearly; the white walls of the doctorâs room, the apologies from the doctor, and Mister Jeonâs piercing gaze.
âThereâs been a mistake,â âThere was a mix-up with the sample,â the words still echo in your mind.
Youâve been trying to make sense of how such a monumental mistake has happened. But nothing seems to make sense. The clinic did this; the clinic took control over your decision. This chapter of your life was about you gaining control, but once more, someone decided for you. Itâs been making you angry.
Youâre furious at the clinic and their negligence. You trusted them with your project of building your own family. However, they decided otherwise. Â
But underneath that anger, thereâs another fury; one directed to yourself. You were so focused on having a child on your own terms that you didnât stop to consider the what-ifs. You didnât stop to consider that something might go wrong. And now, you are here. Â Â Â
Youâve been staring at the ceiling for hours now, your mind trying to find a solution. Do you keep this baby? Do you terminate the pregnancy?
This choice feels impossible. It feels like no matter what your life will completely change. Â
But deep down, you somehow feel some kind of relief. Because when Mister Jeonâthis intense and charismatic manâsaid there was a possibility heâd walk away, that heâd leave you to raise this child alone, you felt lighter.
His potential absence is appealing. It aligns with your original choice, to be a single mother. A choice where your child is yours, and yours alone. But then, thereâs also a possibility where he stays, or that he comes back later. What would happen then?
You press your hands against your face while a guttural growl leaves your lips. This is so damn frustrating. This should be simple. Because now, youâre left wondering what you want. Do you want to walk away from this and stick to the original plan? Or do you want to embrace this chaos, and see where this might lead?
Your hands slide down to your stomach, caressing it while you hear again the tiny heartbeat. This sound comforts you which makes you close your eyes.
For now, you donât have any answers to all your questions. Youâre not even sure youâll have them tomorrow. For now, youâll let yourself breathe. Youâll let yourself feel. And maybe, just maybe, youâll find the answers. Â
The sound of your phone ringing pushes you out of your own thoughts, informing you that you received a message. You sit on your bed before grabbing the phone on the nightstand. You received a message from an unknown number. By curiosity, you unlock your phone to read it. To your surprise, itâs the famous and mysterious Mister Jeon. Â
From unknown: hi miss y/l/n, this is jeon jungkook, the father of your child. iâd like to meet you to discuss the matter. would you be free tonight?
Your heart hammers inside your chest, ready to burst at any second. He contacted you sooner than expected. You were thinking that you wouldnât hear anything from him for at least a week. You thought youâd have more time to make a decision before meeting him. Now, it seems you donât, and that youâll have a very interesting conversation with him tonight.
With shaky hands, you start typing your answer.
To unknown: hello mister jeon, we could meet tonight
When you press âsendâ, you stare at the conversation, waiting for an answer. Mister Jeon responds instantly to your message, proposing to meet in a town square. You accept the suggestion and quickly go to your clothes cupboard to pick up an outfit.
The man seems very impressive, and you want to be presentable. Heâs after all the progenitor of the life growing inside you.
A couple of hours later, you take the road to the meeting point. Surprisingly, youâve remained calm for the entire drive. Driving is actually the only thing able to calm your tormented soul. Whenever you go through something very intense, you just drive to clear your mind.
However, since this pregnancy thing, even driving hasnât been able to help you out. You tried to drive yesterday, but it only made things worse. So it definitely surprises you that youâve been able to clear your mind before meeting Mister Jeon.
When you arrive, heâs already there waiting for you. Heâs not wearing a suit, quite the contrary. His outfit is only made of a grey sweater with a blue pair of jeans. His hair isnât perfectly pushed back as it was two days ago. It feels like youâre meeting a completely different person.
When he sees you, he stands up. As he does so, you notice he holds a box in his right hand. Itâs a small one, but it still intrigues you.
âGood evening, miss y/l/n,â he says.
âGood evening, mister Jeon,â you say back.
His presence is still very imposing, but the fact that he isnât wearing a suit anymore changes it a bit. He seems more approachable than he was in the clinic.
âPlease call me Jungkook,â he offers you a small smile.
Itâs the first time you see him smiling, and it feels like a very warm one. Beneath it all and in the midst of the city noise, you can perceive his heartbeat. Itâs quite rapid which makes you tilt your head. Is he nervous?
âYou can call me yn as well,â you smile back at him. Â
âIâve brought you a box with some pastries,â he hands you the box. âI wasnât sure what youâd like.â
Your smile grows wider at his simple but heartwarming gesture. This wasnât expected, but it lightens the mood. Jungkook seems to be a nice person which contrasts with the cold and unreadable person he seemed two days ago.
âThanks,â you say while grabbing the little box. âYou didnât need to,â your eyes look up at him.
After that, you both sit down on the bench he was on before you arrived. By the way he rubs his hands on his tights, you can tell that heâs a bit nervous. You try not to overanalyze him, because you know your mind will go crazy, full of questions.
âWhat is happening is really crazy,â he admits with obvious nervousness. âI never imagined things would go this way,â you nod.
Jungkook looks everywhere, except at you. It seems like he isnât brave enough to face you, almost like a teenager confessing his love.
âAs I told you two days ago, I canât have this child,â he finally speaks. âI really would love to, but Iâd put the three of us in danger.â
Your heart starts beating rapidly. What does he mean by âputting you in dangerâ? Does he come from a crazy family? Is he part of the mafia? This is scaring the hell out of you.
âWe didnât know each other up until two days ago, and you donât deserve to be put in danger because of a stupid mistake the clinic did,â he seems angry when he mentions the mistake. âBut I canât force you to terminate the pregnancy, itâs your body, and it was also your wish to have a child. I canât take that away from you.â
It kind of surprises you how respectful he is. Any other man in his position could have forced or paid you to put an end to this pregnancy. Itâs really admirable.
���In case you want to keep going with it, I just want you to know that Iâll step away, and I will never come back to reclaim a role I refused from the beginning.â
You wonder what the reasons behind his decision could be. This man desired to have a child but is now refusing to have one with you because of a mistake.
âTo be honest with you, I donât know what to do,â you admit.
His piercing eyes finally look at you. For a split second, you can swear that they were red. Red like blood. This destabilizes you, and you furrow your eyebrows. Youâre not sure if youâre being delirious or if this is real.
âI wanted to become a mother, but not like this,â you continue, still destabilized by what you just saw. âSo it leaves me wondering what I should do. But if you walk away, Iâll be more tempted to keep the baby because, in the end, itâll go as I planned.â
In an unexplainable way, this man puts you at ease. It feels like you can confess how you truly feel about this situation without being judged by him. This man exudes serenity which draws you even more to him.
âI get that,â he says.
For a brief moment, you only look at him while your heart peacefully beats in your chest. His dark eyes stare right into your soul, and it feels like the world completely stopped. Thereâs just the two of you. But Jungkook breaks the contact, looking in another direction.
âIf you decide to keep the child and need any financial help, I can give it to you,â he speaks.
This man definitely seems like a good guy, and you wonder even more why heâs walking away from this.
âI wonât,â you answer. âI wouldnât have done this if I didnât have any means to take care of the baby.â
For sure you need financial stability to be a single mother, and you would have never embarked on this adventure without having it.
Jungkook runs his fingers through his fluffy hair, avoiding still your gaze. âCan I ask why you want to become a single mom?â
The question catches you off guard. You werenât expecting this manâthis strangerâto be interested in you.
âI didnât have an easy life and I grew up without my parents,â you confess. âMotherhood was something I aspired to have in my life since Iâm very young, and Iâve desired to give to my child everything I didnât have. No matter if it was with someone or alone.â
Your eyes shift from Jungkook to the square full of people. Itâs never easy to express out loud and to a complete stranger why you embarked on this adventure. Mentioning your parents is actually never easy; even after all this time.
Suddenly, you feel Jungkookâs gaze on you, but he doesnât say anything. He just stares at you in complete silence. For once in your life, peopleâs heartbeats and scents donât suffocate you. You can hear and smell them, but itâs like it doesnât matter.
For as long as you can remember, youâve had those developed skills. You can hear stuff from afar, and you can strongly smell peopleâs natural bodyâs scent. Since itâs kind of ânormalâ to you, you got used to it; but sometimes, and especially when youâre in the middle of heavy crowds, it suffocates you. It becomes simply too much.
This is something you never told anyone, too scared to be judged. Undoubtedly, people would say youâve gone crazy due to the trauma of losing your parents. Not even Felix or Lexi knows about it. They just think youâre agoraphobic.
However, lately, youâve been trying to go to some crowded place to overcome this suffocating feeling. You ignore why youâve been doing it, but youâve been doing it. Itâs still too much, but today, next to this complete stranger, it doesnât feel like it.
âIâm sorry you lost your parents,â he whispers.
You turn to look at him to offer him a little smile.
âThanks,â you mumble. âCan I also ask you why youâre doing this?â you dare to ask.
Jungkook nods before looking away once more. It definitely looks like itâs hard for him to hold your gaze.
âIn my world,â he starts saying. âI have heavy responsibilities, and having a child is one of them. But I canât have one with anybody. Iâm very limited in who is the biological mother so thatâs why I canât have one with you.â
You almost feel offended by his words. In which kind of world canât you be the mother of his child? Itâs completely crazy!
âOh,â you simply say.
âYou could have been the surrogateâŚâ you can hear some kind of chuckle. âBut never the progenitor.â
âItâs seems like a tough world.â
His eyes look again at you; you can see that he seems to hesitate with the answer.
âIt isnât,â he finally says. âBut it is with me.â
Obviously, he carefully chose his words.
âWell, I hope youâll find the right mother for your child,â you offer him once more a little smile.
âThanks,â he smiles back at you.
The two of you look back again at the people walking in the town square. They are walking around you, ignoring totally what youâre going through, what tough decision you have to make. They ignore everything about you, just as you ignore everything about them⌠Â
âIâm sorry about all of this,â he adds.
âItâs not your fault,â you answer. âItâs the clinicâs.â
Jungkook shifts uncomfortably, his gaze fixed on the people walking in front of you. His heart is racing and piercing through your ears. Heâs even more nervous than he was before, and it concerns you a bit. But you donât say anything, too afraid to scare him off if you reveal you can hear his heartbeat. Â
âYnâŚâ he starts. âThereâs something you need to know,â his voice is deep and low at the same time. Itâs so low that it almost drowns out by the distant chatter of people passing by.
You turn to look at him, your brow furrowing. âOkay,â you whisper. Â
Jungkook takes a deep breath, his jaw tightening before he exhales. His eyes donât meet yours immediately, but when he does, thereâs an intensity that makes your stomach twist.
âWhen I said my world is different,â he swallows with difficulty. âI donât mean it in a metaphorical sense. My world, my reality is not the same as yours.â
You frown even more, confusion plastered all over your face. Youâre definitely incredibly confused. How could his world be different than yours? You live on the same planet, and breathe the same air. How could it be not the same? Â
âWhat do you mean?â
Jungkook gets closer, his voice dropping even lower, barely audible. However, you still hear it perfectly.
âI am not entirely human, yn.â
Your breath catches in your throat, your heart skipping a beat. You stare at him while waiting for him to elaborate. However, Jungkook just stares at you, waiting for your reaction.
âWhat do you mean by ânot entirely humanâ?â you tilt your head.
For a couple of seconds, he doesnât speak, almost as if heâs scared to reveal his true nature to you.
âIâm a werewolf.â
The words hang in the air, heavy and impossible to ignore. It leaves you wondering if this man is of sound mind. Right now, youâre slightly concerned about his mental health, and the future of your child, if you keep them.
Your first reaction is to laugh, dismissing his words as if it is some kind of twisted joke. But the look on his face tells you that heâs deadly serious. This isnât a joke.
âA werewolf?â you repeat to make sure you hear it well.
Jungkook nods. He looks tense and he maintains his deep glance on you.
âItâs why I canât have this child,â he starts to explain. âIn my world, bloodlines matter. Werewolf bloodlines are sacred, and the continuation of my lineage isnât just about having a child. Itâs about having the right child with the right kind of mother.â
The weight of his words crashes over you like a tidal wave. You stand up, your hands running through your hair. Your mind is spinning, and your pulse thunders in your ears. This is something you definitely werenât expecting to hear today.
Werewolves? Youâre carrying the child of a werewolf?
This sounds like it comes straight from a fantasy movie.
âThis doesnât feel real,â you whisper to yourself but Jungkook hears it. Â
âI didnât want you to be dragged into this world, but you deserve the truth.â
You keep your back turned to him while you cross your arms against your chest.
âThis is something you need to consider if you decide to keep the baby.â
At his words, you freeze. Instinctively, your hands down move to your stomach. Jungkookâs eyes follow your hands.
âIs thisâŚâ your voice trembles. âIs this a viable child?â
If you want to keep going with this pregnancy, you need to know if this baby can survive.
âThere wouldnât be any reason why this child wouldnât survive because of mixed blood,â he stands up and gets close to you. âBut as they grow up, theyâll develop werewolf abilities. And, one day, theyâll probably turn into one. Itâs pretty unpredictable, though. Thereâs never been a human-werewolf hybrid before.â
Damn, this is leaving you speechless. How can this be real? Werewolves are supposed to exist in movies, not in real life. Â Â
âThis is insane,â you rub your hands on your face. âThis canât be real.â
Jungkook steps closer. His presence is grounding but nonetheless overwhelming. Â
âHow do I know youâre telling the truth?â you demand, your voice filled with panic. Â
Before you can blink, he gets even closer to you. Heâs in front of you in an instant, his hand gently grabbing yours. Your eyes look down at his hand as you notice it changing. His fingers elongate, his nails sharpen into claws, and the texture of his skin turns into something more beastly. Slowly, your eyes look up, and what you see completely freezes your body. His eyes glow a deep, predatory red, and thereâs something undeniably wolfish about them.
You take a step back while setting your hand free. As you do so, Jungkook shifts back, his hand returns to its normal form, and his eyes fade back to a human form. The transformation is so quick that it almost feels like you imagined it.
âSo what happens now?â you ask.
Jungkookâs gaze softens at your words.
âThat depends on you, yn.â
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Prodigal son beyond Time - part 2
Part 1 | Masterpost
Damian first met his great uncle Danyal when he is three years old. His mother says he's met him long ago, when he was but a babe with a memory too fuzzy to remember. But the man before him is his grandfather's favorite child. The son that scowls at his father as he cradled Damian in his arms.
"What have you done?" His uncle scowled, a gentle hand pressed against the back of Damian's head. "He's a child!"
"Danyal!"
"You weren't like this with me." Danyal spat, keeping Damian in his arms and pressing his lips towards his nephew's forehead. Damian notes how cold his uncle's skin felt like, but more welcoming than that of his grandfather's.
"Danyal, he is to be trained like a proper Al Ghul." Grandfather said, frowning at Danyal.
"You trained me like a proper Al Ghul when I was older than him!" Danyal immediately protested, "He's three!"
"Danyalâ"
"Ukht, I understand that you wish the best for your son but this is not it." Danyal immediately said, looking apologetic for interrupting Talia, but went back to glaring at Ra's. "I've tried to tolerate the fact that you handle an assassin league, father but this? You taught me to be loyal to the family. You taught me to cherish the family, you're bloodâwhy the fuck aren't you giving the others the same treatment you gave me?!"
"Because they are not you!"
Damian doesn't recall what truly happened that day, but he does remember how his uncle's eyes went from soft blues to the same shade that the Lazarus pits glowed.
Damian remembers everything going dark.
Damian grows up differently.
He continues on his training, but everything is kinder to him. The world is kinder when his uncle is home, having tea with grandfather and overseeing his training. Mother loves him and uncle Danyal the most, claiming that they are blessings to her life.
Grandfather is quieter nowadays, almost docile with his uncle around.
It's a little more peaceful. The assassin's continue to train, to fight. But their reign of terror fall upon those that are corrupt and destroying the world. It's one of the compromises uncle Danyal and grandfather have led too.
Damian grows up differently.
Damian's arrival to the Bats' lives was unprecedented and quite confusing. He was a child raised by assassins, a child raised to become the next leader of the league. But he was... Strange. Strange for that kind of standard.Â
Damian was rather sociable, hostile but not downright murderous towards them.Â
His uncle did make sure that he had friends in the league.
Ra's had been utterly ecstatic to find out that he had two more grandchildren while Talia was quite pleased to know that she had a niece and nephew.Â
Damian had a pair of strange cousins who snuck him out of training to go watch the stars, often getting them scolded, but it was worth it. Dante was older than Damian by five years. He was what other would call an angsty teen with how he often rebelled against his father. Meanwhile, Janelleâpreferebly Ellieâwas only a year older than Damian himself. She was a mischievous person who made sure that everything around her was swallowed by her own chaos. So when he entered the manor, suddenly struck with the reality that he had multiple siblings instead of just one elder brother, Damian knew what to do.Â
Murder was not the answer.Â
But by the words of his gracious uncle and the wisdom of his excellent cousins: fight your siblings like a feral child but defend them by being even worse to others.Â
So Damian's first act as Dick Grayson's younger brother was to bite him.Â
The undead were restless, rising from their graves or haunting their own corpses. It wasn't something they usually dealt with, forced to call upon magicians.Â
But even Constantine was bewildered by just how cursed Gotham's lands were. To bring back the dead. Jason was a miracle but this was like an abomination, a literal zombie.Â
No one really knew how to properly deal with the dead...
Well...
"My uncle would be willing to provide his assistance in this matter." Damian piped up, examining the contained zombies from a safe distance. All eyes were quickly drawn to him, bewildered and questioning.Â
"I hardly think that Dusan would be suitable for this." Bruce sighed.Â
Damian scowled, "Not him. My grandfather's first-born is whom I speak off. He is knowledgeable in the occult arts of the dead."Â
"Damian... Ra's Al Ghul only has one son."Â
"Untrue. Grandfather's greatest pride was always my uncle. He is precious to grandfather and ensures that no one knows much off him. I expected you and Drake to be aware of the first born."Â
Tim stiffened, "They weren't rumours?! Ra's actually has some cryptid son?"Â
Bruce, who had heard of the old tales of the Demon head's beloved heir, had always thought they were stories to scare the assassins. He's never seen the man, nor has he found any evidence of him in the league.Â
Jason finally started paying attention, "So the league's golden boy can help? Dami, I don't think Al Ghul will even let his favorite kid anywhere near us."Â
"You underestimate my uncle's love for me."
"You met him?" Bruce quickly interjected.Â
Jason shrugged, "He helped me out back then. Patched me up when the pit madness got worse and helped me manage it. But his face was usually covered and no one really knew his name."
"Aside from myself, grandfather, and my mother."Â
Bruce frowned, "Nyssa and Dusan don't know their brother's name?"Â
"Grandfather says that they do not have the privilege of knowing his name. Mother was the first of his other children to have met my uncle."
"And what about you? You won't give us his name?"Â
Damian scowled, feeling rather displeased with his father's choice of words. "Names are powerful, father. My uncle taught me this when I was young."Â
Constantine narrowed his eyes, "You're uncle some kind of fae, kid?"Â
"Watch your mouth, hellblazer. He does not like you." Damian hissed, having heard all his uncle's rants about the Laughing Magician, especially whenever he'd just randomly pick up Talia and walk around Nanda Parbat like she was a kitten rather than a deadly assassin. "But I shall call upon my great uncle and ask him for assistance. This matter with the undead shall surely pique his interest."
"Tell the old man I said hi!" Jason cheerfully added, sounding quite pleased to hear about the mysterious uncle.Â
"No." Damian blatantly denied. As much as he loves Todd (and he will never admit that), he was not going to let anyone threaten his status as his uncle's favorite child. Over his dead body.Â
Damian was quick to walk away from all of them, quickly retrieving all the materials he'd need to summon his uncle. Dark green paint for the summing circle, five candles, and an astrology book.Â
"Bats... Why the hell is your son performing a summoning ritual? For a ghost of the realms too." Constantine's tone was strained, clearly disturbed and wary of Damian's actions.Â
"Damian." Bruce warned but Damian just waved him off. He watched as Jason started lighting up the candles, humming an unfamiliar tune.Â
"D'you think the old man will help us?"Â
"Of course! Uncle adores me."Â
"You think he'll give me his name?"
"I will gut you, Todd." Damian immediately responded with the most nonchalant tone he could ever give.Â
Jason shrugged, before taking a step back.Â
"Damian! Whatever you're summoningâ"Â
"I'm summoning my uncle, father. He's the best person to go to with these issues." Damian insisted, before muttering something unintelligible under his breath.
Bruce was startled when Constantine grabbed him, eyes wide and rapidly turning pale. "Why the hell does your son know how to speak the language of theâ"
Fire burst forth from the circle, slowly morphing into an icy blast.Â
"Dead." Constantine's breath hitched, "Holy shit, your brat just summoned the ghost king."Â
Bruce grabbed Damian the moment a hand emerged from the blast of cold. He shoved his on behind him, suddenly feeling frightened as his entire body felt goosebumps. Fuck. Did Damian really just perform a summoning ritual for such a powerful being? He never expected for Ra's to brainwash his son into believing that such a powerful thingâ
"Nephew!"Â
Bruce blinked, suddenly blinded by the light.Â
"Uncle!" Damian escaped from his grasp, rushing into the circle. Constantine practically screamed once Damian ran into the arms of what was supposedly his uncle and the ghost king.Â
In front of Bruce was the most gorgeous man he's ever met.Â
The floating hair that reminded him of snow and the green eyes that were purer than the Lazarus pits. He couldn't help but swallow thickly, blinking. Damian was held up by the ghost king, allowing the boy to nuzzle into the crook of his neck.Â
"Hello, dami (my blood)." The king cooed, his pronunciation of the nickname much different from the shortened version of Damian's name. "I was not expecting you to call me. What's happened, my dear?"Â
Damian hummed, but before he could speak, he was immediately interrupted.
"Long time no see, old man!" Jason yelled, waving his arm as if he wasn't in the same room as the king.Â
"Jason! Hello! How are you? The corrupted ecto hasn't returned, has it? If it has, just tell me. I'll schedule a check up with Frostbite." The king quickly fussed, not minding the way Damian was baring his teeth at Jason. "Damian, behave!"Â
Damian just seemed to whine, refusing to behave and opting to pestering the king.Â
"I'm good, uncle. Haven't gone out crazy since you took me to the doctor." Jason smiled, already ripping of his domino mask to show that his eyes were green tinged with blue, not glowing green like the pits.Â
"Good, good. But I really must know why I've been called." The king softly said, directing his words to Damian who was already trying to wriggle our his grasp. Gently, the king settled Damian back on his feet.Â
"Right. Uncle, my father, Batman. Father, this is my uncle." Damian introduced, his tone hurried and a bit hesitant.Â
The king, Damian's uncle, smiled at Bruce. "Hello there, Mr. Wayne. I've wanted to meet you for a long time." The king hummed, "My name's Danny, but the Al Ghuls call me Danyal."Â
"Uncle!"Â
"Hush, hush, Damian. I can give my name to anyone I want. I don't suppose that your father is worthy of it."
Bruce really should be more concerned about the fact that the king knew his name.Â
"But what of the others?"Â
"Little one, I sent Nyssa and Dusan letters ages ago. But rest assured, dearest Talia is still the first to earn it." DannyâDanyalâthe ghost king softly spoke and patted Damian's head. "And... Oh, it's you."
"Your majesty!" Constantine enthusiastically greeted while Danny scowled.Â
"Tax evading bastard." Danny huffed, shaking his head before promptly ignoring the tax evading bastard in question.Â
"Damian."Â
"The dead are rising."
Danny blinked, blinked again, before he groaned and shook his head.Â
"Okay, sorry. That seemed to be caused by an error on my side. Some prisoners of my realms started a riot and some of them managed to break out. Some have most likely decided to overshadow their old bodies." Danny sighed, "I'll have this taken care of. Apologies for the inconveniences."
"These... Zombies have been wrecking havoc across my city." Bruce frowned, "They've been harming people."
"Vengeful spirits do that. They're criminals meant to be in prison. It's rare for breakouts to happen, in all honesty." Danny paused, just long enough to run his fingers through Damian's hair. "But if you wish to take charge, by all means. These are corpses being possessed by their own spirits and... Well... They're out of their minds. Not really considered revenants since the possession isn't quite permanent."Â
"Alright, Bats. We've gotta make a proper deal here. His Majesty was summoned so we've gotta offer him somethingâ"Â
"That's not necessary." Danny immediately waved Constantine away, evident displeasure from the man. "The sigil I gave Damian was just to call me to him. No need for an exchange."
"Seriously?" Constantine blurted out.Â
Danny just shrugged, "He's family. And my favorite nephew."Â
Damian smirked, absolutely smug. "I am your only nephew, uncle."
"Mm... Jason's also my nephew." Danny chuckled softly, easily stepping out of the circle and removing it from the floorâleaving not a single stain. "Now... Shall we deal with the dead?"Â
Bruce Wayne has made many bad decisions in his life, especially when it came to his relationships. Damian's ghost king of an uncle might be one of them.
Masterpost
#Prodigal son beyond Time#dpxdc#dc x dp#danny phantom#batfam#jason todd#batman#crossover#damian wayne#bruce wayne#Damian's favorite parental figure is his amazing uncle#this boy was raised as best as Danny could#Danny went feral after that but cause this boy knew what being compared felt like and hated it#he loves his family even if they're kinda fucked uo#Ra's is a little nicer here cause he genuinely loves Danny like a son#Bruce: This man is not good for me and I know it#Danny Phantom who's cradling his son like it was him who gave birth to Damian#Bruce: But I am fucking blind HELLO SAILOR#Tim's time in the league resulted in hin hearing about the eldritch horror that was Ra's son and supoosed heir apparent#he thought it was all stories#Jason likes his eldritch uncle the most cause he made the pit madness go bye-bye#constatine is a tax evading bastard and Danny has heard enough complains about him to hate the guy himself
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You guys do not appreciate Gaz enough so Iâm here to sell him to you
this shit is important so yall better read
I truly donât understand the lack of Gaz love -
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/e834b7c2b7ccf3db278c0f113d27e1dd/8d907b7526e80f5c-28/s540x810/1e0accfd86542bc8a503a5c8e7a0c8dfe9a0caac.jpg)
ok well
I do at some level
I think the argument usually levied against his character id that heâs boring
but beautifully stated by tumblr user mockerycrow in their character analysis of him
CHARACTERS DO NOT HAVE TO HAVE A TRAGIC BACKSTORY TO BE INTERESTING CHARACTERS
press keep reading to fall in love with Gaz
Who is Gaz?
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/329461e85d0e48860f34f710eb608f85/8d907b7526e80f5c-de/s540x810/ecef27a4fced80938e5089a90135794f595aa406.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/c9f9e6d760af24573ddfe175b2e02cc9/8d907b7526e80f5c-cb/s540x810/3750d4888c663bf10cdeed18274af4da72e58f7c.jpg)
Iâm going to start out with who Gaz is as a character
morality
Gaz is someone who has a strong sense of morality and struggles with the balance between doing the right thing and doing the morally right thing, thereâs this debate between long-term morality and situational morality that Gaz struggles with
look im maybe not the most linguistically talented person on earth so im just gonna throw in a few quotes which i think gives Gaz
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/55fedc13d9a295461549e2b5917e69ae/8d907b7526e80f5c-bf/s540x810/1a58ceb27d6cc14b41b65b996bbdd8e66acff8e6.jpg)
Gaz is someone who admist chaos and war is trying his best, trying his best to be a good person, to be reliable and to do the right thing
if thays not lovable idk what is
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/0d5b6f5e6068a461fbec4eb278069845/8d907b7526e80f5c-fb/s540x810/c27b99925781e003e0186a2015f6c4e081c2965a.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/2274c0770bcd4e58b8558dad41bac0d6/8d907b7526e80f5c-1a/s540x810/88542fad1a96284a648d2ac0c3b35e20f812e811.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/af5287cfdc196635f0c9456076b63b87/8d907b7526e80f5c-89/s540x810/66ffa2cc6a0290a626d2ca27b974a474cad6fa16.jpg)
relationship to price
ok so i think this aspect of Gazâs character is what people tend to focus on
and as much as the omg priceâs son shit is cute i think heâs become a vehicle for people to emphasise priceâs daddy factor (which like dont get me wrong keep up the good work)
but i think theres so much more to that
i forgot who wrote this but someone said something about Gaz trying to follow in impossibly large footsteps and i think thats so accurate
going back to Gazâs struggle with morality thereâs so much untapped potential in the idea that his idol, may not be an amazing person, having to come to grips with the idea that Price, his role model can look at a woman and child as interrogation leverage is something that i think people need to look into more
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/2cf6515bf1eddeb620930bcc7c9da5cd/8d907b7526e80f5c-86/s540x810/c8f4da22678ed27100a331f1d521e473c8e76736.jpg)
OK so now
Untapped Potential
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/ff2764fe654d30625338f5ce7c7eb36c/8d907b7526e80f5c-86/s540x810/ab5dc77f5f4891088d531b464d6325b8c2089c72.jpg)
so here are somethings which i
idk if this is like the correct phrasing
headcannon? idk i just think these are parts of Gazâs character which could be rlly interesting to explore
ahem
yes Gaz is a good guy, but that doesnât make him passive Gaz has shown moments of anger, like in the interrogation with the butcher when he lunges at him or when him and price first meet
i think the fact that Gaz is so calm and collected but has these moments are cracks in the facade he creates
i believe personally he has a lot of repressed anger whether it be at the world, at himself, at his captain hes an angry dude hes just better at keeping it under wraps
and i know we donât really have many details on his backstory but cmon thereâs no way u sign up for a job like this and donât have any issues whatsoever
i think this quote is so good for this because heâs harnessed his anger, itâs what makes him good at his job, a knife, a weapon
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b0523f1e05732ef4696158b0f6d0843e/8d907b7526e80f5c-a0/s540x810/29fb35bd72db78b27d0658093905a40d5797c8ec.jpg)
i think another interesting concept for Gaz is guilt
the fact that he cares about whats right and wrong how does he feel going to sleep at night? do these things haunt him? is he irredeemable?
i think its like that one quote âthe dog that weeps after it kills is no better than the dog that doesnât. My guilt does not purify me.â
Final Thoughts
anyways guys thanks for coming to my ted talk
i know this was really messy but i just want to encourage some Gaz love because i think heâs a really interesting complex character who we just need to dig a little deeper into
i hope this incites some more gaz love
THANK YOU đł
#kyle gaz garrick#gaz#kyle garrick#gaz garrick#kyle gaz x reader#kyle gaz garrick x reader#call of duty#cod#call of duty modern warfare#cod mwf2#mwf#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#john price#cod mwii#gaz cod#ghost cod#price cod
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Life With The Verstappen Family : ĚĚâ Max Verstappen
summary: a glimpse into the life of the verstappen family and your two little ones who are always causing chaos
Ë*â˘ĚŠĚŠÍâŠâ˘ĚŠĚŠÍ*Ëďź
liked by schecoperez, redbullracing and 2,593,069 others
maxverstappen1: turns out being dad is the coolest thing in the world đ
139,583 comments
username1: not max as a dad also being the coolest dad in the world
username2: the handsome dad vibes are strong in these pictures đŞđť
danielricciardo: congrats my friend!!
landonorris: can't believe you're actually dad...wow you're old đ
maxverstappen1: @/landonorris you're not exactly a spring chicken anymore yourself
username3: is it okay to be this jealous of a small child??
ynusername: can't wait to spend the rest of my life being mum and dad with you đ
maxverstappen1: @/ynusername I'm definitely the lucky one between the two of us âşď¸
username4: I can't believe we get to see dad max at the paddock next year
oscarpiastri: why is your tiny human so cute? clearly yn got all the good genes in there
redbullracing: welcome to the smallest member of our team, we can't wait to have you in the paddock soon!! đâ¤ď¸
username5: the proud smile on his face actually melts my heart
username6: forever in love with max as a dad already đ¤§
georgerussell63: who'd have thought you'd be the first to settle down, congrats you two!
charles_leclerc: dog dads are better than human dads btw đ¤ˇđťââď¸
schecoperez: sending all my 'how to survive life as a dad' books your way my friend
Ë*â˘ĚŠĚŠÍâŠâ˘ĚŠĚŠÍ*Ëďź
liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 1,472,293 others
ynusername: turns out max canât ski and ydn is absolutely showing him up on the slopes âˇď¸
138,291 comments
username7: omg look at how grown up yn is getting
maxverstappen1: imma just focus on the first photo and how much my little girl adores me...no idea what you're talking about with the skiing đ
username8: yn pls tell me you've got some videos of this lol
landonorris: he is the most uncoordinated man i've ever met and you chose to take him skiing đ¤Śđťââď¸
ynusername: @/landonorris it was ydn's choice, you know max can't say no to his little girl
carlossainz55: i'll have to show him how it's done one day
username9: not ydn falling asleep in max's lap, it looks so comfy there đ¤Š
username10: anyone else think that ydn looks more and more like max's twin everyday??
username11: how can one family be so cute? đ¤
alex_albon: lily told me you sent a video of max falling on his ass, please say I have permission to see it too?
ynusername: @/alex_albon it's all yours đ
maxverstappen1: @/alex_albon @/ynusername hey i refuse to give permission for this!!!
lewishamilton: hope you guys are having the best time, tell ydn i've got the biggest cuddle waiting for her when i see her next
Ë*â˘ĚŠĚŠÍâŠâ˘ĚŠĚŠÍ*Ëďź
liked by ynusername, alex_albon and 1,799,391 others
maxverstappen1: all my babies â¤ď¸đĽş
189,382 comments
username12: i dont think my ovaries can take much more of these updates
username13: i can't deal with how adorable these are!! đđ
ynusername: guessing i'm not your baby anymore đ
maxverstappen1: @/ynusername you'll always be my baby đŤśđťđŤśđťđŤśđťđŤśđť
landonorris: i thought I was your baby too???
maxverstappen1: @/landonorris go away before i block you again đ
charles_leclerc: btw dogs are still better than cats
username14: not charles starting a war of pets in the comments sections
username15: praying i come back as a cat so i can be adopted by the verstappens too đ¤đť
georgerussell63: can you stop taking sickeningly sweet photos of your daughter so that we stop missing her during the off season please
alex_albon: ydn's position reminds me of how lily looked when i got home last night fast asleep on the sofa
lilymhe: @/alex_albon btw the couch is yours tonight now đđť
username16: how can these cute photos cause a domestic lmao
username17: it's always max causing trouble even when he doesn't mean to
Ë*â˘ĚŠĚŠÍâŠâ˘ĚŠĚŠÍ*Ëďź
liked by carmenmmundt, lilymhe and 994,293 others
ynusername: forever a third wheel when it comes to these two đŤśđť
48,193 comments
landonorris: now you know how i've felt for the past six years đ¤ˇđťââď¸
username18: i'll come and save you yn!!
danielricciardo: you should be used to it...you third wheeled us for several seasons
username19: ydn is such a daddy's girl its unreal đ¤Š
maxverstappen1: stop making people feel sorry for you, you choose to hang back and take all these photos hahah
ynusername: @/maxverstappen1 JUST LET ME HAVE MY MOMENT
username20: i can't cope with how unserious these two are as parents đđ
username21: i wonder if ydn realises how lucky she is getting to travel the world with max verstappen by her side
oscarpiastri: just so you know, lando laughed out loud when he read the caption to this
ynusername: @/oscarpiastri just so you know, he's the worst!
username22: yn must be desperate for another baby so its 2v2
username23: even as a third wheel I'd be happy just being that close to max
schecoperez: come and hang out in my driver room instead!! đ
lilymhe: i'll save you bestie
ynusername: @/lilymhe knew i could rely on you đ
Ë*â˘ĚŠĚŠÍâŠâ˘ĚŠĚŠÍ*Ëďź
liked by alex_albon, sebastianvettel and 1,382,291 others
maxverstappen1: why does no one ever warn you that two kids are so much harder to control than one đ
89,503 comments
username24: emilian you knew what you signed up for when you got yn pregnant
danielricciardo: now imagine being christian trying to take control over both of us hahah đđ
username25: max and one kid was cute but max and two kids...wow
schecoperez: you should've listened to me i did warn you
ynusername: all I can see is ydn getting dangerously close to that water you fool đ¤Śđťââď¸
maxverstappen1: @/ynusername i've got everything under control don't worry
username26: how can any man complain when you're kids are that cute
charles_leclerc: i keep reminding you that me and alex are happy to babysit whenever you want us
maxverstappen1: @/charles_leclerc alex I trust...you...well đ¤Ť
username27: its the colour coordinating with ysn that does it for me
username28: is everyone going to ignore how grown up those two babies look these days
landonorris: i can come and join you and see what it's like to practice for baby number three if you want? đ
username29: lando norris you menace
Ë*â˘ĚŠĚŠÍâŠâ˘ĚŠĚŠÍ*Ëďź
liked by carlossainz55, lewishamilton and 2,392,605 others
maxverstappen1: nothing better than when my two loves come and cheer me on, I promise you they are impressed by what daddy does, even if their faves suggest otherwise đĽş
194,382 comments
username30: cannot wait for my social media to be filled with verstappen baby content this weekend
ynusername: no way we're missing a home race, good luck for this weekend my love đđ
maxverstappen1: @/ynusername thank you for bringing them to support me, you're the best
username31: max looks so happy to have them there omg
username32: i wish someone looked as happy as max does to have me around them â¤ď¸
carlossainz55: if they don't appear in ferrari at some point this weekend i'm never speaking to you again
alex_albon: and the williams garage!!!
pierregasly: alpine are expecting a visit too!
danielricciardo: and rb, it would be rude not to after all đ¤ˇđťââď¸
username33: ydn and ysn are the most popular people in the paddock this weekend hahah
username34: i can't cope with how obsessed everyone is over these two
lewishamilton: i can't believe how big they are, where does the time even go?
georgerussell63: @/lewishamilton you mean to say you've already seen them and I wasn't there to join you đŤ˘
username35: poor yn won't get a second to breathe racing around all these garages
Ë*â˘ĚŠĚŠÍâŠâ˘ĚŠĚŠÍ*Ëďź
liked by landonorris, danielricciardo and 1,492,503 others
ynusername: introducing the team to their favourite drivers, and charles đ
79,305 comments
username36: ah we got the photos to prove they visited guys
charles_leclerc: you best be kidding or i'm never babysitting for you ever again đĄ
ynusername: @/charles_leclerc jokes we love you really
danielricciardo: it was lovely to see team verstappen again after so long đđ
landonorris: btw ysn said that i was his favourite so snooze you lose max!!
maxverstappen1: @/landonorris if you want to believe my son prefers you to me you think that my friend
username37: look at how soft they all become when they're around verstappen babies âşď¸đĽş
username38: i just want someone to look at me like charles looks at ysn
georgerussell63: still waiting for my turn excuse me
carmenmmundt: pls come and visit before george actually explodes đĽş
ynusername: @/carmenmmundt i promise we're on our way!!
username39: do people even go to f1 for racing anymore or just to see ysn and ydn??
username40: i saw the four of them at the gates this morning and I swear i've never seen anything cuter...
carlossainz55: there better be another post filled with photos of me and ydn coming up
oscarpiastri: lando has not shut up about the fact he saw you guys...now look what i've got to put up with đ
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maxverstappen1: a tribute to the woman that holds our team together, I couldnât do this without you yn, the best mum and wife in the world â¤ď¸â¤ď¸
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username41: how yn puts up with two kids and max i will never know
ynusername: it's the easiest job in the world being by your side with our two little treasures đď¸đĽş
landonorris: yn deserves a medal having to deal with you day in day out
georgerussell63: i've lost count of how many times i've seen yn running around the paddock for you, ysn or ydn
username42: i swear yn is just the best mum ever â¤ď¸
username43: i want to be adopted by yn and yn only
carlossainz55: not forgetting the fact she now is in charge of your two cats too
charles_leclerc: at this point she's pretty much mum to us drivers too with how well she keeps us all in check đ
username44: i thought it was just fans obsessed with the verstappens, turns out its the drivers too
username45: i expected nothing less from this group of boys who are absolutely whipped for yn
username46: its official, the verstappens are just the best đŤśđťđâşď¸
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ËËË đđđđđđđđđđ ! ´ËË
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Book recs: black science fiction
As february and black history month nears its end, if you're a reader let's not forget to read and appreciate books by black authors the rest of the year as well! If you're a sci-fi fan like me, perhaps this list can help find some good books to sink your teeth into.
Bleak dystopias, high tech space adventures, alien monsters, alternate dimensions, mash-ups of sci-fi and fantasy - this list features a little bit of everything for genre fiction fans!
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For more details on the books, continue under the readmore. Titles marked with * are my personal favorites. And as always, feel free to share your own recs in the notes!
If you want more book recs, check out my masterpost of rec lists!
Lagoon by Nnedi Okorafor
Something massive and alien crashes into the ocean off the coast of Nigeria. Three people, a marine biologist, a rapper, and a soldier, find themselves at the center of this presence, attempting to shepherd an alien ambassador as chaos spreads in the city. A strange novel that mixes the supernatural with the alien, shifts between many different POVs, and gives a one of a kind look at a possible first contact.
Nubia: The Awakening (Nubia series) by Omar Epps & Clarence A. Hayes
Young adult. Three teens living in the slums of an enviromentally ravaged New York find that something powerful is awakening within them. Theyâre all children of refugees of Nubia, a utopian African island nation that sank as the climate worsened, and realize now that their parents have been hiding aspects of their heritage from them. But as they come into their own, someone seeks to use their abilities to his own ends, against their own people.
The Scourge Between Stars by Ness Brown
Novella. After having failed at establishing a new colony, starship Calypso fights to make it back to Earth. Acting captain Jacklyn Albright is already struggling against the threats of interstellar space and impending starvation when the ship throws her a new danger: something is hiding on the ship, picking off her crew one by one in bloody, gruesome ways. A quick, excellent read if you want some good Alien vibes.
Dawn (Xenogenesis trilogy) by Octavia E. Butler*
After a devestating war leaves humanity on the brink of extinction, survivor Lilith finds herself waking up naked and alone in a strange room. Sheâs been rescued by the Oankali, who have arrived just in time to save the human race. But thereâs a price to survival, and it might be humanity itself. Absolutely fucked up I love it I once had to drop the book mid read to stare at the ceiling and exclaim in horror at what was going on. Includes darker examinations of agency and consent, so enter with caution.
Midnight Robber by Nalo Hopkinson*
Utterly unique in world-building, story, and prose, Midnight Robber follows young Tan-Tan and her father, inhabitants of the Carribean-colonized planet of Toussaint. When her father commits a terrible crime, heâs exiled to a parallel version of the same planet, home to strange aliens and other human exiles. Tan-Tan, not wanting to lose her father, follows with him. Trapped on this new planet, he becomes her worst nightmare. Enter this book with caution, as it contains graphic child sexual abuse.
Rosewater (The Wormwood trilogy) by Tade Thompson
In Nigeria lies Rosewater, a city bordering on a strange, alien biodome. Its motives are unknown, but itâs having an undeniable effect on the surrounding life. Kaaro, former criminal and current psychic agent for the government, is one of the people changed by it. When other psychics like him begin getting killed, Kaaro must take it upon himself to find out the truth about the biodome and its intentions.
Do You Dream of Terra-Two? by Temi Oh
Young adult. A century ago, an astronomer discovered a possibly Earth-like planet. Now, a team of veteran astronauts and carefully chosen teenagers are preparing to embark on a twenty-three year trip to get there. But space is dangerous, and the team has no one to rely on but each other if - or when - something goes wrong. An introspective slowburn of a story, this focuses more on character work than action.
The Best of All Possible Worlds by Karen Lord
After the planet Sadira is left uninhabitable, its few survivors are forced to move to a new world. On Cygnus Beta, they work to rebuild their society alongside their distant relatives of the planet, while trying to preserve what remains of their culture. Focused less on hard science or action, The Best of All Possible Worlds is more about culture, romance and the ethics and practicalities of telepathy.
Mirage (Mirage duology) by Somaiya Daud
Young adult. Eighteen-year-old Amani lives on an isolated moon under the oppressive occupation of the Valthek empire. When Amani is abducted, she finds herself someplace wholly unexpected: the royal palace. As it turns out, she's nearly identical to the half-Valthek, and widely hated, princess Maram, who is in need of a body double. If Amani ever wants to make it back home or see her people freed from oppression, she will have to play her role as princess perfectly. While sci-fi, this one more has the vibe of a fantasy.
An Unkindness of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon
Life on the lower decks of the generation ship HSS Matilda is hard for Aster, an outcast even among outcasts, trying to survive in a system not dissimilar to the old antebellum South. The shipâs leaders have imposed harsh restrictions on their darker skinned people, using them as an oppressed work force as they travel toward their supposed Promised Land. But as Aster finds a link between the death of the shipâs sovereign and the suicide of her own mother, she realizes there may be a way off the ship.
Where It Rains in Color by Denise Crittendon
The planet Swazembi is a utopia of color and beauty, the most beautiful of all its citizens being the Rare Indigo. Lileala was just named Rare Indigo, but her strict yet pampered life gets upended when her beautiful skin is struck by a mysterious sickness, leaving it covered in scars and scabs. Meanwhile, voices start to whisper in Lileala's mind, bringing to the surface a past long forgotten involving her entire society.
Eacaping Exodus (Escaping Exodus duology) by Nicky Drayden
Seske is the heir to the leader of a clan living inside a gigantic, spacefaring beast, of which they frequently need to catch a new one to reside in as their presence slowly kills the beast from the inside. While I found the ending rushed with regards to plot and character, the worldbuilding is very fresh and the overall plot of survival and class struggle an interesting one. Itâs also sapphic!
Chain-Gang All-Stars by Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah*
In a near future America, inmates on death row or with life sentences in private prisons can choose to participate in death matches for entertainment. If they survive long enough - a rare case indeed - they regain their freedom. Among these prisoners are Loretta Thurwar and Hamara "Hurricane Staxxx" Stacker, partners behind the scenes and close to the deadline of a possible release - if only they can survive for long enough. As the game continues to be stacked against them and protests mount outside, two women fight for love, freedom, and their own humanity. Chain-Gang All-Stars is bleak and unflinching as well as genuinely hopeful in its portrayal of a dark but all to real possible future.
Parable of the Sower (Earthseed duology) by Octavia E. Butler*
In a bleak future, Lauren Olamina lives with her family in a gated community, one of few still safe places in a time of chaos. When her community falls, Lauren is forced on the run. As she makes her way toward possible safety, she picks up a following of other refugees, and sows the seeds of a new ideology which may one day be the saviour of mankind. Very bleak and scarily realistic, Parable of the Sower will make you both fear for mankind and regain your hope for humanity.
Binti (Binti trilogy) by Nnedi Okorafor
Young adult novella. Binti is the first of the Himba people to be accepted into the prestigious Oomza University, the finest place of higher learning in all the galaxy. But as she embarks on her interstellar journey, the unthinkable happens: her ship is attacked by the terrifying Meduse, an alien race at war with Oomza University.
War Girls (War Girls duology) by Tochi Onyebuchi
In an enviromentally fraught future, the Nigerian civil war has flared back up, utilizing cybernetics and mechs to enhance its soldiers. Two sisters, by bond if not by blood, are separated and end up on differing sides of the struggle. Brutal and dark, with themes of dehumanization of soldiers through cybernetics that turn them into weapons, and the effect and trauma this has on them.
The Space Between Worlds (The Space Between Worlds duology) by Micaiah Johnson
Multiverse travel is finally possible, but thereâs a catch: No one can visit a world where their counterpart is still alive. Enter Cara, whose parallel selves happen to be exceptionally good at dying. As such she has a very special job in traveling to these worlds, hoping to keep her position long enough to gain citizenship in the walled-off Wiley City, away from the wastes where she grew up. But her job is dangerous, especially when she gets on the tracks of a secret that threatens the entire multiverse. Really cool worldbuilding and characters, also featuring a sapphic lead!
The Fifth Season (The Broken Eart trilogy) by N.K. Jemisin*
In a world regularly torn apart by natural disasters, a big one finally strikes and society as we know it falls, leaving people floundering to survive in a post apocalyptic world, its secrets and past to be slowly revealed. We get to follow a mother as she races through this world to find and save her missing daughter. While mostly fantasy in genre, this series does have some sci-fi flavor, and is genuinely some of the best books I've ever read, please read them.
The Women Could Fly by Megan Giddings*
In an alternate version of our present, the witch hunt never ended. Women are constantly watched and expected to marry young so their husbands can keep an eye on them. When she was fourteen, Josephine's mother disappeared, leveling suspicions at both mother and daughter of possible witchcraft. Now, nearly a decade and a half later, Jo, in trying to finally accept her missing mother as dead, decides to follow up on a set of seemingly nonsensical instructions left in her will. Features a bisexual lead!
The Prey of Gods by Nicky Drayden
South African-set scifi featuring gods ancient and new, robots finding sentience, dik-diks, and a gay teen with mind control abilities. An ancient goddess seeks to return to her true power no matter how many humans she has to sacrifice to get there. A little bit all over the place but very creative and fresh.
The Summer Prince by Alaya Dawn Johnson*
Young adult. Young artist June Costa lives in Palmares Tres, a beautiful, matriarchal city relying heavily on tradition, one of which is the Summer King. The most recent Summer King is Enki, a bold boy and fellow artist. With him at her side, June seeks to finally find fame and recognition through her art, breaking through the generational divide of her home. But growing close to Enki is dangerous, because he, like all Summer Kings, is destined to die.
The Blood Trials (The Blood Gifted duology) by N.E. Davenport
After Ikenna's grandfather is assasinated, she is convinced that only a member of the Praetorian guard, elite soldiers, couldâve killed him. Seeking to uncover his killer, Ikenna enrolls in a dangerous trial to join the Praetorians which only a quarter of applicants survive. For Ikenna, the stakes are even higher, as she's hiding forbidden blood magic which could cost her her life. Mix of fantasy and sci-fi. While I didnât super vibe with this one, I suspect fans of action packed romantasy will enjoy it.
Babel-17 by Samuel R. Delany
1960s classic. Rydra Wong is a space captain, linguist and poet who is set on learning to understand Babel-17, a language which is humanity's only clue at the enemy in an interstaller war. But Babel-17 is more than just a language, and studying it may change Rydra forever.
Pet (Pet duology) by Akwaeke Emezi
Young adult novella. Jam lives in a utopian future that has been freed of monsters and the systems which created and upheld them. But then she meets Pet, a dangerous creature claiming to be hunting a monster still among them, prepared to stop at nothing to find them. While I personally found the word-building in Pet lacking, it deftly handles dark subjects of what makes a human a monster.
Bonus AKA I havenât read these yet but they seem really cool
Lion's Blood by Steven Barnes
Alternate history in which Africans colonized South America while vikings colonized the North. The vikings sell abducted Celts and Franks as slaves to the South, one of which is eleven-years-old Irish boy Aidan O'Dere, who was just bought by a Southern plantation owner.
The Sound of Stars by Alechia Dow
Young adult dystopia. Ellie lives in a future where humanity is under the control of the alien Ilori. All art is forbidden, but Ellie keeps a secret library; when one of her books disappears, she fears discovery and execution. M0Rr1S, born in a lab and raised to be emotionless, finds her library, and though he should deliver her for execution, he finds himself obsessed with human music. Together the two embark on a roadtrip which may save humanity.
Womb City by Tlotlo Tsamaase
Lelah lives in future Botswana, but despite money and fame she finds herself in an unhappy marriage, her body controlled via microchip by her husband. After burying the body of an accidental hit and run, Lelah's life gets worse when the ghost of her victim returns to enact bloody vengeance.
Orleans by Sherri L. Smith
Young adult. Fen de la Guerre, living in a quarantined Gulf Coast left devestated by storms and sickness, is forced on the run with a newborn after her tribe is attacked. Hoping to get the child to safety, Fen seeks to get to the other side of the wall, she teams up with a scientist from the outside the quarantine zone.
Everfair by Nisi Shawl
A neo-victorian alternate history, in which a part of Congo was kept safe from colonisation, becoming Everfair, a safe haven for both the people of Congo and former slaves returning from America. Here they must struggle to keep this home safe for them all.
The Splinter in the Sky by Kemi Ashing-Giwa
Space opera. Enitan just wants to live a quiet life in the aftermath of a failed war of conquest, but when her lover is killed and her sister kidnapped, she's forced to leave her plans behind to save her sister.
Honorary mentions AKA these didn't really work for me but maybe you guys will like them: The City We Became (Great Cities duology) by N.K. Jemisin, The Lesson by Cadwell Turnbull, The A.I. Who Loved Me by Alyssa Cole
#nella talks books#lagoon#nubia the awakening#the scourge between stars#xenogenesis#midnight robber#rosewater#do you dream of terra two?#the best of all possible worlds#mirage#an unkindness of ghosts#where it rains in color#escaping exodus#chain gang all stars#parable of the sower#binti#war girls#the space between worlds#the fifth season#the women could fly#the prey of gods#the summer prince#the blood trials#babel 17#pet
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'Silent Strain' | part I
Outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader
next chapter
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summary: Joel and you knew that bringing a child into this mad world was a mistake, but he wanted to give you the best that was left of that world after all.
w.c: 12,6k (this was 5k at the beginning)
warnings: established relationship, age gap (Joel is 43 and Reader 32) angst, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of abortion, fluff, not proofreading, sorry. The events of this story happen 10 years after the outbreak.
a/n: New Sunday, new fic? This one was on my drafts and I thought about developing a little bit more because I wanted to write one where Joel wasn't an asshole. This may become a really short series. Reblogs and comments are always appreciated. Happy reading.
dividers by @/saradika-graphics
Mornings in the QZ were far from a story teller, always bleak as any other, somber and carrying the weight of the guilty grieving each people who has survived this far dealt with.
Many people had become the worst versions of themselves, just monsters they never thought they would be. Others woke up with the survivorâs guilt, after years of letting go their people, family and friends.
And others carried all that, but had found a little spark shinning on their path.
That was your case.
And Joelâs too.
You both had found each other just a few years after the world descended into chaos. After that, you become each otherâs anchor until now.
Even when days seemed to be grayer, even when Joel seemed a bit lost after losing his contact with Tommy.
Even on days when the world seemed grayer, even when Joel seemed a little more distantâhis thoughts lost somewhere along the frayed edges of his mind, burdened by the loss of contact with Tommyâyou held on. You knew what he was feeling; it was a familiar ache, a common wound you both carried.
Tommy was Joelâs last person who shared his blood. His brother, his last piece of family and what the old world had left him.
But he also had you, and that made him alive.
You woke up slowly, the thin, rough blanket tangled around your legs, the mattress beneath you creaking as you shifted. The air was cold, seeping through the cracks in the walls, and the faint light of dawn barely penetrated the small, grimy window. Outside, you could hear the sounds of the QZ waking up, the distant, muffled voices of guards changing shifts, the echo of boots on concrete, and the occasional shout. You pulled the blanket tighter around you, trying to keep the chill at bay.
The room you and Joel shared was small, barely large enough for the bed and a rickety chair in the corner. Outside the doors, there was the rest of the old apartment that worked as a roof for the both of you, and Tess.
The walls were stained with years of neglect, paint peeling in long strips, revealing the bare concrete beneath. There was a small table near the window where a lone candle had burned down to a stub, wax pooling on the surface, solidifying in random patterns. It had been another long, sleepless night, the dark hours stretching on endlessly, and you could feel it in your bones, an ache that went deeper than simple tiredness.
You glanced over at Joel, still asleep beside you, his face etched with lines of worry even in rest. He lay on his side, one arm slung over his face, his brow furrowed as if he were fighting off some invisible enemy in his dreams. The mornings were hardest on him, you knew. Waking up to the same bleak reality day after day, the hope of finding Tommy growing thinner with each passing moment.
A wave of nausea hit you unexpectedly, a sudden queasiness that made your stomach twist. You shut your eyes, taking a slow, deep breath, trying to steady yourself. You hadn't been feeling well for a few days now, just a lingering discomfort you chalked up to the lack of proper food or maybe stress. Nothing in this world was kind to the body or the mind anymore.
You pushed yourself up, careful not to wake Joel, and swung your legs over the side of the bed, your feet touching the cold, cracked floor. The chill ran up your legs, making you shiver. You sat there for a moment, steadying yourself, pressing a hand against your stomach as if trying to calm the unease that rolled there. There was a strange heaviness to it, something that seemed different, something you couldnât quite put your finger on.
The thought crossed your mind, quick and unbidden, a possibility you immediately pushed away. It was too absurd, too impossible to consider. Not here, not now, not in this broken world.
You rose to your feet, steadying yourself on the edge of the table, your fingers brushing against the melted wax. You glanced back at Joel, who still hadnât stirred, his breathing deep and even. You knew he needed the sleep, needed a moment of peace, however fleeting. You moved quietly toward the window, peering out through the dirt-streaked glass. The world outside was shrouded in mist, the familiar shapes of the crumbling buildings barely visible in the pale morning light.
There was a time when you might have found the sight beautiful, in a melancholic way. Now it just seemed desolate. Empty.
Another wave of nausea hit, stronger this time, and you pressed a hand to your mouth, swallowing hard. You took a few deep breaths, trying to steady yourself. You felt a sharp pang of fear, a sudden flash of panic that cut through the fog of morning fatigue. You forced it down, tried to stay calm. You couldnât afford to be anything else.
From behind you, you heard the faint rustle of the bed as Joel shifted, his voice rough and low. âYou, okay?â he murmured, still half-asleep, his words slurred with exhaustion.
You turned to look at him, forcing a smile, though you werenât sure he could see it in the dim light. âYeah⌠just a bit cold,â you lied softly, your voice barely more than a whisper.
He blinked at you, eyes heavy-lidded, and then nodded, seeming to accept it. âCome back to bed,â he mumbled, his voice carrying a warmth that made something in your chest tighten. âItâs still early.â
For a moment, you hesitated, feeling the cold air around you, the uncertainty pressing in. But then you moved back to the bed, sliding in beside him, feeling the heat of his body radiating through the thin layers of fabric. He reached out, pulling you close, his arm draping over you protectively, and you let out a breath you didnât realize youâd been holding.
You closed your eyes, savoring the feeling of safety as Joel stirred Joel stirred, his hand rubbing small, soothing circles on your back. âAre you sure you are, okay?â he murmured, his voice rough with sleep.
âYeah,â you whispered, hoping he couldnât hear the lie in your voice. âJust a headache.â
He kissed the top of your head, the simple gesture sending a pang of guilt through you. âYouâve been getting a lot of those lately,â he noted, concern creeping into his tone.
You forced a smile, even though he couldnât see it. âJust stress, I think.â
He hummed in response, not entirely convinced but willing to let it go for now. He gently nudged you off his chest, propping himself up on one elbow to get a better look at you. His eyes searched your face, and you had to fight the urge to look away. Joel had a way of seeing right through you, and you were afraid he might catch a glimpse of the truth you were hiding.
He frowned, clearly not convinced. âYouâve been sayingâ that a lot lately. Maybe you should rest today, stay in bed.â
You shook your head, knowing you couldnât afford to take a day off. Life in the QZ was unforgiving, and everyone had to pull their weight. âIâll be fine. Weâve got too much to do, and theyâre already short-handed at the ration line.â
You forced yourself to follow suit, pushing through the lingering nausea as you pulled on your worn clothes. The headache throbbed with each movement, but you bit back the discomfort, determined not to let it show. Joel kept glancing over at you, as if expecting you to collapse at any moment, but you just offered him a reassuring smile, even if it didnât reach your eyes.
Once you were both ready, you stepped out into the harsh reality of the QZ. The streets were crowded, people moving about with a sense of urgency, always on edge. You and Joel made your way through the throng, his hand resting on the small of your back, guiding you through the chaos.
At the ration line, the day passed in a blur of monotonous tasksâdistributing food, managing the restless crowd, keeping an eye out for trouble. But the ache in your head never fully faded, and every now and then, you had to pause, closing your eyes for a moment to steady yourself.
Joel noticed, of course. He was always watching, always worrying, though he tried to hide it behind a gruff exterior. âYou sure youâre alright?â he asked again when you took a brief break, his tone betraying his concern.
âYeah, just⌠Itâs probably just the air or something,â you said, shrugging it off. But you could tell he didnât believe you.
âSee you later, then?â he asked before parting ways with you to your different duties.
âYeah, see you later,â you replied, forcing a smile, trying to reassure him. Joel lingered for a moment, his eyes searching yours, he planted a kiss on your lips before turning to head off to his assigned area. You watched him go, feeling a mix of guilt and relief. You hated lying to him, but what could you say? That the world seemed to be spinning just a little bit too fast? That every time you bent over, a wave of nausea washed over you? It would only make him worry more.
The hours dragged on, the sun creeping across the sky, bringing with it a sticky heat that clung to your skin. By midday, your headache had grown worse, a steady throb that pounded behind your eyes. The noise of the crowd seemed to amplify the pain, voices blending into a harsh cacophony. You rubbed at your temples, willing it to stop, but it only seemed to make it worse.
At one point, while lifting another crate filled with canned goods, a sharp pain shot through your abdomen, causing you to drop the box with a loud thud. A few people nearby turned to look, but you waved them off, trying to catch your breath. The soldier supervising the line glanced over, raising an eyebrow. âYou good there?â he asked, his tone half-concerned, half-annoyed.
âYeah, Iâm fine,â you muttered, bending down to retrieve the cans that had spilled onto the ground. Your hands shook slightly, and you felt a bead of sweat roll down your back. The soldier didnât look convinced, but he didnât press further, turning his attention back to the line.
âThen clean the mess you madeâ he ordered.
You nodded, swallowing down the nausea that threatened to rise again. âYes, sir,â you replied, bending down to pick up the cans. Your fingers felt clumsy, and every time you moved, the pain in your abdomen seemed to sharpen, making it difficult to keep your breathing steady. Sweat dripped from your forehead, stinging your eyes, but you pushed through, determined not to draw any more attention to yourself.
As you gathered the last can, another wave of dizziness hit you, and you had to steady yourself against the crate to keep from toppling over. You glanced over your shoulder to see if the soldier was still watching, but he had already turned away, his focus elsewhere.
You took a deep breath, trying to will away the nausea, when you heard a familiar voice behind you. âHey, you, okay?â
Turning, you saw Tess standing there, her face set in a concerned frown. âYeah,â you lied, forcing a weak smile. âJust a rough day.â
Tess studied you for a moment, her eyes narrowing. âYou donât look so good,â she said quietly, stepping closer. âYouâre pale⌠and sweating like hell.â
You shrugged, trying to brush it off. âIâm fine, just⌠tired, I guess.â
Tess didn't seem convinced. Her sharp eyes swept over you, taking in every detail â the paleness of your skin, the way your hands trembled slightly as you held the cans. Her frown deepened, and you could practically feel the gears turning in her head.
âLook,â she said slowly, almost carefully, âI know you well enough to tell when youâre lying. And right now, youâre doing a pretty damn poor job of hiding whatever this is.â
Your heart started to pound in your chest, an uneasy thump that only made the nausea worse. You swallowed, glancing away from her probing stare. âI said Iâm fine, Tess,â you repeated, but your voice came out too shaky, too uncertain. Even you didnât believe it.
She took a step closer, lowering her voice. âDonât bullshit me,â she murmured, her tone firm but not unkind. âYouâve been off for days now⌠the headaches, the dizziness. Iâve seen this before. And Iâm pretty sure you know what Iâm talking about.â
You stiffened, shaking your head quickly. âNo, Tess,â you whispered, almost desperate. âItâs not that⌠it canât be.â
Tessâs expression softened, but there was still a hint of stubbornness there, a determination to get through to you. âListen,â she began, her voice a little gentler. âIâm not trying to scare you, but⌠you need to face this. If itâs what I think it is⌠then youâve got a lot to figure out.â
âPlease, Tess. Not nowâ you pleaded.
Tess hesitated, her eyes searching your face, but she nodded slowly, relenting â at least for the moment. "Alright," she said quietly, though the concern in her voice hadnât faded. "But you canât keep running from this forever."
You felt a lump in your throat as you looked away, blinking back the tears that threatened to spill. "I just⌠I canât think about it right now," you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper. "Thereâs too much going on, and⌠JoelâŚ"
Tess sighed, crossing her arms. "I get it," she replied softly. "But, you know, youâre not alone in this. Whatever it is, youâve got people who care about you. Joel might be rough around the edges, but⌠heâs not going to turn his back on you. Not now, not ever."
You swallowed hard, nodding, though you still felt like you were balancing on a knifeâs edge. "I know," you said, though doubt still gnawed at you. "Itâs justâŚ"
"Itâs scary," Tess finished for you, and you could only nod again, feeling suddenly very small. "But you donât have to go through it alone, alright?" she added, her voice softening. "Iâve got your back. Always."
You gave her a weak smile, grateful for her support, even if the fear still twisted inside you. "Thanks, Tess," you whispered.
She patted your shoulder, her touch gentle, almost sisterly. "Letâs get back to it," she said, glancing back toward the line. "But promise me⌠youâll think about what I said."
You nodded again, though your mind was spinning with a hundred different thoughts. "I promise," you murmured, even though you weren't sure if you meant it.
By the time you got back to the apartment, the sun was already low in the sky, casting long shadows through the broken blinds. Your legs felt heavy, your head still pounding from the stress of the day. As you pushed open the door, you were met with the stale, familiar scent of the small, dimly lit space that you and Joel called home. The silence was almost deafening, broken only by the faint creaking of the floorboards beneath your feet.
Your eyes scanned the room, and they quickly fell on Joel sprawled out on the bed, his face slack in sleep. But what caught your attention was the nearly empty bottle of whiskey sitting on the table next to him, beside a few scattered, white pills. A flare of anger ignited in your chest.
You walked over and grabbed the bottle, knocking it down onto the floor. The sound of the glass hitting the wood was loud, but Joel didnât stir. Frustration bubbled up inside you. âJoel,â you called out sharply, but he remained still, lost in whatever numbness heâd sought.
With a forceful shove, you shook his shoulder, your voice rising. âJoel, wake up!â you demanded. His eyes fluttered open slowly, bleary and unfocused. He blinked a few times, trying to clear his vision, and groaned.
âWhat?â he muttered, his voice thick with sleep and whatever haze the whiskey and pills had put him under.
Your hands clenched into fists at your sides. âWhat the hell, Joel?â you spat out, your voice trembling with a mix of anger and worry. âYouâre drinking and taking pills again? You promised me⌠you promised youâd stop!â
Joel blinked again, pushing himself up on one elbow, confusion and irritation crossing his face. âItâs just⌠itâs just to take the edge off,â he slurred, running a hand over his face. âYou donât get it.â
âNo, I do get it,â you shot back, your voice sharp. âI get that youâre hurting, Joel, I get you want to know where Tommy is but this is not the way.â
Joelâs eyes narrowed, some of the grogginess leaving his gaze. âIâm trying,â he muttered, a hint of defensiveness in his tone. âIâm doing the best I can, alright? Itâs not that easyâŚâ
You took a step closer, your heart pounding in your chest. âI need you, Joel,â you whispered, your voice breaking. âI need you here, with me⌠not drowning in a bottle. Weâre supposed to be in this together, remember?â
He looked away, his jaw tightening, but he didnât respond immediately. The silence stretched between you, heavy and tense. Finally, he let out a long breath, his shoulders slumping slightly. âHe is my brother, the only family I get left.â he muttered, almost too softly to hear.
âWhat about me?â you asked, voice trembling.
Damn, why were you getting so emotional.
Joel's brow furrowed, clearly caught off guard by your question. He blinked, as if trying to process your words, and then his expression softened. âWhat are you talkingâ about?â he asked gently, taking a step closer to you. âOf course, you're my family. You know that. Youâre everything.â His fingers brushed against your arm, tentative, as though he was still uncertain if youâd accept his touch.
You felt a lump forming in your throat, and you blinked rapidly, trying to keep the tears at bay. âThen why does it feel like Iâm not enough?â you murmured, the words slipping out before you could stop them.
Joel's thumb brushed against your cheek, wiping away a tear you hadnât realized had fallen. âYou are, sweetheart,â he murmured, his voice steady but soft. âI promise you are. Iâm just⌠Iâm scared. Scared of what could happen to you⌠to us.â
You looked up into his eyes, searching for somethingâan answer, a reassurance, anything to ease the turmoil inside you. "How are you feeling'?" he asked suddenly, his voice quieter, more tender than before.
The question caught you off guard. You blinked, trying to gather your thoughts. "I⌠I donât know," you admitted honestly. âTiredâŚâ
Joel nodded slowly, his hand slipping from your cheek to rest on your shoulder. âI know, I get it,â he said quietly. âBut you gotta promise me⌠if thereâs somethingâ wrong, youâll tell meâ
You nodded, âI promise.â
You wrapped your arms around Joel, pulling him into a tight embrace. The warmth of his body against yours was a small comfort, a fleeting sense of security in the chaos that seemed to be swirling around you. As you clung to him, the guilt and the weight of the hidden truth about your pregnancy settled heavily on your shoulders.
Joel held you close, his hand gently rubbing your back, his touch reassuring and steady. âIâm sorry,â you murmured into his shoulder, the words escaping almost involuntarily. âIâm sorry for everything.â
Joelâs arms tightened around you, and he pressed a kiss to the top of your head. âAinât nothinâ to be sorry for,â he said softly. âWeâre in this together, you hear me? Weâll get through it. Weâll figure it out.â
You nodded against him, feeling a mix of relief and deep-seated worry. The truth about the pregnancy was still looming, a secret that was becoming increasingly difficult to keep. Every time you looked at Joel, you could see the love and concern in his eyes, and it made the weight of your silence feel all the more burdensome.
As you slowly pulled away from the hug, you wiped at your eyes, trying to steady your emotions. Joel looked at you with a soft expression, his worry evident but tempered with the resolve to support you no matter what.
The thoughts of your pregnancy, the uncertainty of the future, and the fear of how this might change everything were still swirling in your mind. You felt a pang of guilt as you remembered Tess's words, and you struggled with the decision of when and how to reveal the truth.
Joel seemed to sense the inner conflict you were grappling with. âIf you need space, or if you need to talk about it,â he began, his voice steady, âjust let me know. Iâm here for you, no matter what.â You nodded, forcing a small, grateful smile. âThank you, Joel. I⌠I just need a little time.â
He nodded in understanding, and as you both sat down, the silence between you was filled with an unspoken promise of support and love.
You woke up a little later, feeling the soft warmth of Joelâs arm wrapped protectively around your waist. For a moment, you simply lay there, savoring the comfort and the faint sense of security his presence provided. The room was quiet, the only sound the steady rhythm of Joelâs breathing.
Gently, you eased yourself out of bed, careful not to disturb him. You tiptoed out of the bedroom, the coolness of the apartment a stark contrast to the warmth youâd left behind. As you walked through the small living space, you noticed that Tess was already up, sitting at the table with a cup of coffee.
She looked up as you entered, her gaze softening. âHey,â she said quietly, setting the cup down. âHowâre you feeling?â
You offered her a small, tired smile. âBetter, thanks,â you replied, taking a seat across from her. âI just needed some space to think.â
Tess nodded; her expression thoughtful. âDid you think about what I say?â
You took a deep breath, considering Tess's question. âA little,â you admitted, your voice soft. âItâs just been overwhelming, and Iâm not sure how to handle everything yet.â
Tess studied you for a moment, her eyes reflecting both concern and a hint of sadness âAnd?â she reached across the table, placing a comforting hand over yours. âI understand itâs overwhelming,â she said gently. âBut you have to face it.â
You glanced down at your hands, gripping the edge of the table as if it might anchor you to the present moment. The room felt too small, the weight of your thoughts pressing heavily on your shoulders. âIt canât beâŚIâm scaredâ you confessed, your voice trembling slightly.
Tess took a deep breath, her expression softening. âTake the test, Iâll go with youâ she said, showing support.
âWha-wha-what? I donât have any testâ you said, voice trembling
Tess gave you a small, understanding smile, her hand still resting over yours. âI know,â she said softly. âBut thereâs a way to get one. I can ask around⌠discreetly. I have a contact who might be able to help.â
Your heart pounded in your chest, a mix of fear and disbelief coursing through you. âYouâd do that? For me?â The idea of someone knowing, of even a whisper of this spreading through the QZ, sent a chill down your spine. But the calm certainty in Tessâs eyes steadied you.
âOf course,â she replied without hesitation. âIâve got your back, always. Weâve been through worse, havenât we?â
You nodded slowly, though the tight knot in your stomach seemed to twist even more. âYeah, I guess,â you muttered, trying to sound convinced, even though nothing had felt quite like this. âBut what if⌠what if itâs true, Tess? What do I do then?â
Tess squeezed your hand gently, her thumb brushing over your knuckles. âThen we figure it out, step by step,â she said. âFirst things first, we need to know for sure. Until then, try not to let your mind spiral, okay?â
You swallowed hard, nodding again, though your mind was already a storm of thoughts and worries. You could feel the weight of this new reality settling onto your shoulders, heavier than anything youâd felt before. âOkay,â you whispered. âIâll try.â
Tess stood up, giving your hand one last comforting squeeze before letting go. âIâll see what I can do tomorrow,â she promised. âGo back to bed and try to rest.â
Your mind raced with possibilities and fears as you made your way back to the small bedroom, trying to steady your breathing, to find some calm in the storm of your thoughts.
When you slipped back into the darkened room, Joel was still lying on his side, one arm stretched across the bed as if reaching for you even in sleep. You carefully lifted the blanket and slid back under it, trying not to wake him. But as soon as you settled in, his arm instinctively curled around your waist, pulling you close. His warmth enveloped you, and for a moment, you felt a flicker of safety.
Joel's voice came out in a sleepy murmur, rough around the edges. âWhere were you?â he mumbled; his breath warm against your neck. You could feel the weight of his arm, heavy and reassuring, holding you as if he sensed your unease.
âJust⌠talking to Tess,â you whispered back, trying to keep your voice steady.
His grip around you tightened slightly, his thumb tracing small circles against your side. Even in his half-asleep state, there was a protectiveness in the way he held you. âEverything okay?â he asked, still drowsy, but there was a hint of concern creeping into his tone.
You hesitated for a second, your heart beating faster. You didnât want to lie, but you also couldnât tell himânot yet, not until you knew for sure. âYeah,â you finally replied, trying to sound convincing.
Joel made a low, comforting sound, a mix between a hum and a sigh. He nuzzled closer, his lips brushing lightly against your shoulder. âDonât worry,â he murmured, his voice trailing off as sleep tried to claim him again. âWeâll figure it out⌠whatever it is.â
You bit your lip, feeling a lump form in your throat. You wanted to believe him, wanted to let his words soothe the fear gnawing at your insides. But all you could do was rest your hand over his, feeling the roughness of his skin beneath your palm, grounding yourself in his presence.
âYeah,â you whispered back, more to yourself than to him. âWe always do.â
Joelâs breathing began to slow again, deepening as he drifted back to sleep. You closed your eyes, pressing yourself closer against him, feeling the steady rise and fall of his chest.
âI love youâ you whispered to him, breaking the silence. You were afraid of losing him.
For a moment, there was only the quiet of the room, the soft hum of the distant generator outside, and the gentle rhythm of Joel's breath against your skin. You wondered if he'd even heard you, or if your whispered words had been lost in the space between wakefulness and sleep.
Then, you felt his grip tighten around you, his hand moving to hold you closer, almost as if he was afraid, you might slip away. His lips brushed against your shoulder, a tender, lingering kiss that sent a shiver down your spine. "I love you too," he murmured, his voice a deep, husky whisper in the darkness. There was a raw honesty in his words, an openness that you rarely heard from him, as if he understood the fear hidden beneath your confession.
His lips pressed against your shoulder again, this time firmer, more deliberate. "Ain't nothing gonna change that," he added softly, his breath warm against your skin. His thumb stroked gently over the fabric of your shirt, tracing soothing patterns that spoke of comfort and promises unspoken.
You closed your eyes, letting his words wash over you, feeling a mix of relief and longing. The fear still lingered, but in this moment, held in his arms, it felt a little more manageable. You leaned back into him, feeling the strength in his body, the steady beat of his heart against your back.
Joel held you tighter, as if sensing your need for reassurance. "We'll get through this," he whispered. "Whatever it is, we'll face it together. You and me."
You nodded against him, unable to find your voice, your heart swelling with the weight of everything unsaid. "Together," you repeated softly, your hand squeezing his, grounding yourself in his presence.
For now, that was enough.
Joel woke up slowly, his body protesting against the cold air that had settled in the room overnight. He blinked against the dim light filtering through the cracked blinds, reaching out instinctively to your side of the bed, only to find it empty. His hand moved across the sheets, finding them cool, your warmth long gone.
He sat up, a frown creasing his brow as a flicker of worry ran through him. He scanned the room, half-expecting to see you in the corner, maybe getting dressed or lost in thought, but the room was still, too still. He called your name, softly at first, then a little louder. No answer.
His heart quickened as he swung his legs over the side of the bed, grabbing his jeans from the chair and yanking them on. The apartment was quiet, eerily so, with no sign of movement or life. His boots hit the floor with a dull thud as he pulled them on, his gaze darting around the small space.
Where the hell were you?
He moved quickly to the kitchen, eyes scanning the counters, the sinkâanywhere you might have left a note, a sign of where youâd gone. But there was nothing. Just the quiet hum of the building settling around him. He glanced toward the front door, noticing Tess's boots missing from their usual spot. A knot of unease tightened in his chest. Neither of you were there.
He ran a hand through his hair, cursing under his breath. You wouldnât have left without telling him, not without saying something. And Tessâshe was always up to something, but she never left you behind. He felt his pulse quicken, a gnawing sense of dread creeping in as he grabbed his jacket from the hook near the door, slipping it on with practiced haste.
Joel pushed open the door and stepped into the hallway, his boots echoing against the worn floorboards. He looked around, scanning for any sign of you or Tess. The hallway was empty, but a few doors down, a neighborâa middle-aged man Joel recognized but didnât know wellâwas stepping out, adjusting his coat.
âHey,â Joel called out, his voice sharper than intended. The man looked up, surprised. âYou seen them?â He gestured back to your apartment.
The man shook his head slowly, clearly unsure who Joel was referring to. âNah, havenât seen anyone this morning,â he replied. âEverything okay?â
Joel forced a tight smile, though his stomach was churning with worry. âYeah, fine,â he muttered, turning away. He started down the stairs, moving quickly, almost without thinking. His mind raced, a thousand worst-case scenarios flashing through his thoughts. Where could you be? Why hadnât you said anything?
He made his way down to the ground floor, heading toward the small communal area near the entrance, where a few people were already gathered, murmuring quietly among themselves. He scanned the room, his eyes searching, hoping to catch a glimpse of you or Tess.
âJoel!â A voice cut through the chatter, and he turned to see one of Tessâs contactsâDanny, a wiry guy with a nervous energyâwaving him over. Joelâs heart jumped. Maybe Danny had seen you.
âWhereâs Tess?â Joel asked as he approached, not bothering with pleasantries.
Dannyâs face tightened slightly, and he glanced around, lowering his voice. âShe went out early, looking for something⌠didnât say what. Figured you knew.â
Joel clenched his jaw, frustration flaring in his chest. âAnd her?â he asked, his voice edged with urgency. âYou see her?â
Danny shook his head. âNo, man. I just saw Tess.â
Joel felt a chill run down his spine. He took a step back, his mind racing with questions. If Tess had gone out and you werenât with her, then where the hell were you?
He turned, scanning the room one more time, then made a decision. He needed to find you, now. Whatever this was, wherever you were, he wasnât going to wait around and let worry tear him apart.
You sat in Lydia's small, cluttered living room, nerves thrumming beneath your skin like a live wire. The room smelled faintly of antiseptic and old books, a comforting combination that somehow made you feel more at ease, despite the circumstances. Lydia's place was a small haven in the chaos of the QZ, filled with mismatched furniture, faded floral curtains, and a few potted plants she somehow managed to keep alive. The doctor herself, an older woman with graying hair pulled back into a messy bun, moved around the space with a calm, practiced efficiency. Her hands were steady, her expression focused but kind.
Tess stood beside you, her presence a quiet reassurance. She had her arms crossed, her foot tapping lightly against the worn wooden floor as she watched Lydia prepare a small kit on the table. Lydia glanced over at you, her eyes soft with a mixture of concern and affection. âYou look pale, sweetheart,â she said, her voice gentle but firm. âYouâve been keeping up with your food and water?â
You managed a small nod, though your stomach felt like it was tied in knots. âYeah, just⌠a lot on my mind,â you murmured. Your voice sounded small in the stillness of the room.
Lydia nodded knowingly, her gaze flicking to Tess for a moment before returning to you. âIâve seen that look before,â she said softly. âIt's not easy, being in this kind of situation⌠but youâre not alone, okay?â
You bit your lip, feeling a lump form in your throat again. âThanks, Lydia⌠I just⌠Iâm scared,â you admitted, your voice barely more than a whisper. âI donât know what to do if⌠if itâs true.â
Lydia came over to you, setting a warm hand on your shoulder. âItâs okay to be scared,â she said kindly.
You nodded, taking a deep breath as she handed you a small, well-worn plastic device. A pregnancy test. It felt surreal holding it in your hand, the weight of it much heavier than its actual size.
Lydiaâs expression softened. âThe bathroom is down the hall,â she instructed gently. âTake your time, and when you're ready, come back out. No rush.â
You glanced at Tess, who gave you a reassuring nod. âGo on,â she urged softly. âIâll be right here.â
Swallowing hard, you stood up, clutching the test in your hand, and made your way down the narrow hallway to the small, dimly lit bathroom. The old mirror above the sink was cracked, reflecting your nervous expression in fragmented pieces. You took a deep breath, feeling the cool tile under your bare feet, and tried to steady your racing heart.
The minutes stretched out as you stood there, staring at the test in your hands, feeling the weight of this decision. You knew that everything could change in an instantâyour life, your relationship with Joel, everything you thought you knew about the world and your place in it.
You finally gathered your courage, took the test, and set it on the sink. You watched it like it might explode, the seconds ticking by with agonizing slowness. You could hear the muffled voices of Tess and Lydia down the hall, their words indistinct but soothing in their familiarity.
And then, after what felt like an eternity, you saw the result. Your breath caught in your throat, your knees feeling weak. You stared at it, your mind struggling to catch up, to process what you were seeing.
It was positive.
You felt a wave of emotions crash over youâfear, confusion, a strange sense of disbelief. You gripped the edge of the sink, needing something solid to hold on to, to keep yourself from spiraling. Tears welled in your eyes, unbidden, and you blinked them back, swallowing hard.
You took a few deep breaths, trying to steady yourself before turning back toward the door. You stepped out of the bathroom, your face pale, your hands trembling slightly.
Tess was the first to notice, her eyes widening as she saw your expression. She moved quickly to your side, her hand gripping your arm gently. âHey⌠whatâs the result?â she asked, though the look on your face already told her everything.
Lydia stepped closer; her eyes filled with empathy. âItâs okay, sweetheart,â she murmured. âJust take a breath.â
You looked at them both, your voice barely a whisper. âItâs⌠itâs positive,â you admitted, your heart pounding. âIâm⌠Iâm pregnant.â
Tess squeezed your arm, a mixture of concern and determination on her face. âOkay,â she said firmly. âWeâre going to handle this. Weâre gonna figure it out.â
Lydia nodded; her expression warm. âYouâre not alone in this,â she reassured you. âWeâll do what we can to make sure youâre safe⌠and healthy.â
You swallowed hard, feeling the tears spill over despite your best efforts to hold them back. âWhat⌠what do I do now?â you asked, your voice shaking. âI donât want anyone to know this, okay?â
âJoelâs has to knowâ Tess said.
âNo.â Your voice came out sharper than you intended, a flash of panic twisting through your chest. âNo,â you repeated, firmer this time. âI canât⌠I canât tell him. Not yet.â
Tessâs eyes narrowed slightly, but her expression remained calm. âWhy not?â she asked gently, though there was a hint of insistence in her voice. âHe deserves to know. Heâs going to find out sooner or later.â
You shook your head, feeling the tears start to flow again. âI just⌠Iâm not ready,â you whispered, your voice trembling. âHeâs already dealing with so much, with losing contact with Tommy, and⌠I donât want to put this on him. Not when I donât even know how I feel about it yet.â
Lydia placed a comforting hand on your shoulder, her touch steady and grounding. âItâs okay to feel this way,â she said softly. âBut Tess is right. Joel will need to know eventually. Heâs your partner⌠in all of this.â
You bit your lip, trying to steady your breath. âI just need some time,â you murmured, feeling a deep ache in your chest. âPlease⌠donât say anything to him. Not until I figure out how to even say it myself.â
Tess sighed, a mixture of frustration and understanding on her face. âAlright,â she agreed quietly, but you knew she was lying.
She walked towards the door before you saying to Lydia âIâll pay you later.â
âThere is no need, Iâd do anything for this one hereâ she said, squeezing your shoulder.
Tess gave Lydia a small nod, but her expression was tight, her jaw set. You could sense the conflict simmering beneath her calm exterior. You knew Tess well enough to recognize that she wasnât pleased with your decision. She paused at the door, one hand resting on the frame, before turning back to you.
âAlright,â she said again, this time her voice softer, almost resigned. âWe need to get back. Joelâs probably tearing his hair out by now.â There was a hint of a wry smile, but it didnât quite reach her eyes. You felt a pang of guilt; you could only imagine how worried Joel must be at this point.
Lydia gave you a reassuring squeeze on your shoulder. âTake care of yourself, okay?â she said softly. âAnd if you need anything, anything at all, you know where to find me.â
You managed a small, grateful smile. âThank you, Lydia⌠for everything,â you whispered, feeling a rush of emotion swell in your chest.
Tess opened the door and stepped outside, waiting for you to follow. You took a deep breath, trying to steady your nerves, before moving to join her. As you stepped out into the dimly lit hallway, Tess glanced at you, her expression unreadable.
âYou know heâs gonna ask where we were,â she muttered, keeping her voice low. âAnd you know I wonât lie to him.â
Your heart sank a little. âI know,â you admitted quietly. âJust⌠donât tell him yet, okay? I need to be the one to do it, Tess.â
She nodded, but the tension in her shoulders didnât ease. âYou better tell him soon,â she warned her tone more serious now. âBecause if you donât, I will.â
Two days had passed since you were delivered the news, and as you went through your shift, the morning sun cast a pale light over the QZ, and the usual noise of activity buzzed around you. You focused on your tasks, trying to push through the lingering fatigue and nausea. Despite your efforts to stay steady, a wave of nausea hit you suddenly, making your stomach churn violently.
You stumbled to the side, clutching your midsection as you struggled to keep yourself upright. Before you could react, the contents of your stomach erupted, and you doubled over, throwing up onto the ground. The sudden and intense discomfort left you gasping for breath, feeling a mix of embarrassment and distress.
Nearby, a few of your co-workers glanced over, their faces a mixture of concern and discomfort. One of them approached, a frown on his face. âYou alright? Maybe you should sit down or get some fresh air.â
You shook your head, trying to regain your composure. âIâm fine,â you managed to say, though your voice was shaky. âJust⌠give me a moment.â
The soldier supervising the shift, who had already been keeping an eye on you, approached with a stern expression. âWhatâs going on? You canât be throwing up in the middle of work. If youâre sick, you need to go home.â
You tried to protest, but your weakened state made it hard to argue. âIâm okay,â you said weakly. âI just need a minute.â
Before you could say more, Joel appeared, his face etched with concern as he hurried over to you. He placed a supportive hand on your back. âYou need to go home,â he said firmly, his eyes filled with worry. âYouâre not doing yourself any good pushing through like this.â
The soldier gave Joel a skeptical look. âShe needs to get back to work. We canât afford to have people slacking off.â
Joelâs expression hardened, and he took a protective step forward. âSheâs not slacking off. Sheâs sick. You wanna have her work herself into the ground? Take her home, and Iâll deal with it.â
The soldier seemed taken aback by Joelâs intensity but eventually relented, grumbling under his breath. âFine. Take her home, Miller. We donât need sick people on duty.â
Joel nodded, helping you to your feet and wrapping an arm around you for support. âLetâs get you outta here,â he said gently, guiding you toward the exit.
As you walked out of the QZ, the cool air was a welcome relief, but the anxiety and guilt still gnawed at you. âIâm sorry,â you murmured, your voice barely audible.
Joel glanced at you, his eyes softening. âYou donât need to apologize, honey.â With Joelâs reassuring presence beside you, you made your way back to the apartment, each step feeling a bit heavier as you faced the reality of your situation.
When you and Joel arrived back at the apartment, you were both greeted by the quiet, familiar surroundings. Tess was sitting at the kitchen table, her eyes lifting from a worn-out map sheâd been studying. She looked up as you entered, her expression shifting from concern to relief.
âHey, youâre back,â Tess said, standing up quickly. âHow are you feeling?â
Joel helped you inside, guiding you to the couch. âSheâs not feeling great,â he said, his voice low. âShe had another wave of nausea at work.â
Tess crossed the room, taking a seat next to you on the couch. âAlright, letâs get you comfortable,â she said, her tone gentle. She reached for a blanket and draped it over you, her eyes scanning your face with worry.
You nodded weakly, feeling the exhaustion and the strain of the morning catching up with you. âThanks, Tess,â you murmured, settling into the couch as Joel stood nearby, his hands resting on his hips, clearly trying to mask his concern.
Tess turned to Joel. âYou should take a break, too,â she suggested. âI can keep an eye on her for a bit.â
âNo.â Joel glanced at you, âI want to know whatâs happening, and donât lie to meâ he demanded, especially to you.
You frightened under his stare. You looked over at Tess looking for a way of reassurance.
Tess met Joelâs gaze steadily, her own concern evident. âJoel,â she began softly, âwe need to approach this carefully. We donât want to push her too hard.â
Joelâs eyes softened slightly, but his jaw remained set. âI just want to understand whatâs going on. Sheâs been sick for days, and I need to know why.â
You took a shaky breath, feeling the weight of both their stares. âJoel,â you said quietly, âIâve been⌠trying to manage. Itâs been hard to admit, but⌠Tess might be right. Iâm not sure how to handle it all.â
Tess reached out, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. âWhat weâre dealing with isnât just a simple illness. Itâs important that we address it properly.â
Joelâs expression shifted from frustration to deep concern. âWhat are you saying?â he asked, his voice softer now, but still laced with worry.
âJoel, IâŚIâ you wanted to tell him, but you couldnât find the words or the courage to do it.
Joel's gaze was intense, waiting for you to continue. Tessâs hand on your shoulder was a grounding presence, urging you to find the strength to speak.
You took another deep breath, the lump in your throat making it hard to talk. âJoel,â you began again, your voice trembling, âIâve been feeling⌠really sick, and itâs more than just the usual stuff. Itâs⌠itâs becauseâŚâ
Again, your voice got cut.
âBecause of what?â he demanded.
âShe is pregnant, Joelâ Tess answered for you.
Joelâs face went pale as he absorbed Tessâs words. His eyes flickered between you and Tess, trying to reconcile the new information with what he had seen in you recently. The silence in the room grew heavy, punctuated only by the sound of your shallow breaths.
Joelâs hands dropped to his sides, his expression a mix of shock and disbelief. âPregnant?â he repeated, almost as if he couldnât believe it. His voice was a mix of confusion and pain, and he took a step back, needing space to process this revelation.
You nodded, tears threatening to spill again. âI didnât want to tell you like this,â you said quietly. âIâve been trying to manage, but itâs been really hard.â
Joel ran a hand through his hair, pacing slightly as he tried to gather his thoughts. He turned away from you, his face contorted with frustration. âGoddammit,â he muttered, running a hand through his hair again, the tension in his body palpable. âThis⌠this is just too much.â
You flinched at his outburst, tears spilling freely now. âJoel, pleaseââ you began, but he cut you off, his voice rising.
âDo you have any idea what this means?â Joelâs tone was harsh, though there was a tremor of anguish beneath the anger. âWeâre barely surviving as it is, and now⌠now youâre telling me youâre pregnant?â
Tess stepped in, placing a firm hand on Joelâs shoulder. âJoel, this isnât helping,â she said sharply. âShe needs support right now, not anger.â
Joel shrugged off her hand, his frustration boiling over. âI know, I know,â he snapped. âBut itâs a lot to take in! I canât just ignore it!â
You watched, your heart breaking as you saw Joelâs struggle to come to terms with the news. âJoel,â you said, trying to reach out to him despite your own pain, âIâm sorry. I didnât want to add to the stress, but I didnât know how else to handle it.â
Joelâs eyes met yours, and for a moment, the anger in his gaze faltered, replaced by a deep sadness. âI just⌠I donât know how to fix this,â
he said, his voice dropping to a strained whisper. âI thought we had a chance to figure things out. Now everythingâs just falling apart.â
Tess moved closer; her voice softer but firm. âJoel, getting angry wonât solve anything. We need to focus on what we can do now. What matters is getting her the help she needs.
âWe were supposed to leave to find Tommy and now we wonât be able to.â He said, angry.
âWhat?â you asked, absorbing the new information.
Joelâs gaze dropped to the floor, the weight of his words hanging heavy in the air. âWe were planning to leave for Tommyâs,â he said, his voice tight with frustration. âBut with this⌠we might not be able to. Weâre stuck here now, trying to figure out how to manage all this mess.â
You stared at him, the realization hitting you like a cold wave. âWait, you were planning to leave? To find Tommy?â
Joel nodded, rubbing a hand over his face. âYeah, Tess and I thought it was the best chance for us. Tommyâs got connections, and he might be able to help us get through this. But nowâŚâ His voice trailed off, the anger and sadness mixing in his eyes. âNow, everythingâs fucked up.â
âWhen were you planning to tell me?â You asked, hurt.
Joelâs face fell at your question, and he looked away, struggling to find the right words. âI wasnât⌠I didnât mean to keep it from you,â he said, his voice rough. âThings were just⌠so complicated. We thought we had more time to figure things out before we had to tell you.â
You felt a pang of hurt at his words. âSo, you were just going to leave me in the dark? You were planning to leave without even talking to me about it?â
Joel looked back at you; his eyes filled with regret. âNo, thatâs not what I meant. Of course you were coming with us.â
âBut now Iâm a burden.â You uttered a thought Joel perhaps was having.
Joelâs face tightened at your words, the weight of your accusation clearly hitting him hard. âThatâs not what I meant,â he said quickly, his voice strained. âYouâre not a burden, never say that again.â
You stood up, your emotions swirling, a mix of hurt and frustration. âThen why does it feel like everythingâs falling apart because of me?â you asked, your voice trembling.
You stood up, your emotions swirling, a mix of hurt and frustration. âThen why does it feel like everythingâs falling apart because of me?â you asked, your voice trembling. Tears began to spill down your cheeks, the weight of the situation overwhelming you. âIâm pregnant and I donât know what to do. I thought you were going to hold me and tell me everything was going to be okay, butâfuck this!â You turned abruptly and walked towards the bedroom, trying to escape the chaos of your emotions.
Joel's heart ached as he watched you go, his own emotions roiling. He hesitated for a moment before following you, his steps heavy with regret and worry. He reached the bedroom door just as you were sinking onto the edge of the bed, your shoulders shaking with sobs.
âHey,â Joel said softly, his voice carrying a note of desperation. âIâm sorry. I didnât mean for any of this. I was just⌠scared and confused. I shouldâve been there for you, and I wasnât.â
You didnât look up, focusing on trying to control your breathing. âLeave me alone.â You wiped your tears with the back of your hand, feeling his presence beside you.
âLeave, Joel.â You sobbed.
Joelâs heart sank further as you pushed him away, the pain in your voice cutting him deeply. He hesitated at the bedroom door, torn between his desire to comfort you and the need to respect your space.
âAlright,â Joel said softly, his voice almost a whisper. âIâll give you some time. Iâm sorry.â With that, he turned and walked away, leaving you alone with your emotions.
As Joel retreated, Tess quietly entered the room. She found you on the edge of the bed, still shaking with sobs. Without saying a word, she sat down beside you, offering silent support. Tessâs presence was calm and steady, a stark contrast to the turmoil you felt inside.
âHey,â Tess said gently, placing a comforting hand on your back. âIâm here. Just breathe. Weâll get through this.â
You looked up at her, your eyes red and tearful. Tess didnât try to force conversation; instead, she simply sat with you, her hand a reassuring presence on your back. Slowly, the comforting silence and Tessâs steady presence began to soothe you. Your breathing gradually steadied, and the tears started to subside.
Tess helped you settle into a more comfortable position on the bed, making sure you were warm and covered. As you drifted off to sleep, the emotional exhaustion finally taking its toll, Tess stayed by your side, her watchful gaze softening with concern.
After a while, Tess glanced toward the door and saw Joel standing there, his expression one of deep regret and sorrow. He looked as though he was trying to come to terms with everything that had happened. Tess gave him a sympathetic nod before turning her attention back to you.
âI know this isnât the ideal situation,â Tess began, her tone firm yet understanding. âBut she needs you now, Joel. More than ever.â
Joelâs jaw clenched, his eyes flicking from Tess to where you lay curled up on the bed, still trembling from your tears. âI donât know if I can do this, Tess,â he whispered, his voice barely audible, filled with the weight of his fears.
Tess placed a hand on his arm, squeezing gently. âYouâve got to try,â she urged. âSheâs scared, and she needs you to be there for her. You donât have to have all the answers, but you do need to stay. You need to lay down next to her and protect her, like you always have.â
Joel looked at her, conflicted, the fight still lingering in his eyes. But Tess didnât back down, her gaze unwavering. âSheâs not asking you to be perfect, Joel. Sheâs asking you to be there.â
For a moment, Joel hesitated, the weight of the decision hanging heavy in the air. But then, slowly, he nodded, the tension in his shoulders easing just a fraction. He walked over to the bed, his movements careful and deliberate as he lay down beside you, his presence cautious but steady.
You stirred slightly, sensing his nearness even in your sleep, and instinctively moved closer to him, seeking the comfort you had always found in his arms. Joel wrapped an arm around you, holding you gently, as if afraid you might break. And as Tess watched, she saw the fear and anger in his eyes slowly give way to something softer.
The room was quiet, save for the sound of your breathing, as you finally found peace in sleep. Joel stayed awake, his thoughts still tangled, but his grip on you never faltered. Tess left the room quietly, leaving the two of you to find whatever solace you could in each other.
Joel lay beside you, staring up at the cracked ceiling of the apartment. He couldnât sleep. Every time he closed his eyes, his mind raced, replaying the argument from earlier and the harsh truths he had tried to push away for so long. The room was quiet now, but his thoughts were anything but.
His gaze shifted to you, lying peacefully next to him, your breathing soft and even. You looked so small, so fragile, and it hit him all over again just how much had changed in the span of a few hours. The life growing inside you was a reality he couldnât ignore anymore, no matter how much he wanted to. He watched you, his heart heavy with a mix of fear, guilt, and something he hadnât allowed himself to feel in a long timeâhope.
The thought of becoming a father again terrified him. After Sarah, after everything he had lost, he didnât know if he could survive that kind of pain again. But here you were, carrying his child, and it was as if the world was asking him to take that risk all over again. He didnât know if he had it in him, but as he watched you sleep, so peaceful and trusting, he realized that you were counting on him.
Joel stayed awake through the night, his thoughts swirling with memories of Sarah, the life he had lost, and the uncertain future ahead. He wanted to protect you, to shield you from the harshness of the world outside, but he didnât know if he was strong enough to protect you both from the dangers that lay ahead. The weight of responsibility felt crushing, yet he knew he couldnât turn awayânot now, not ever.
As the first light of dawn began to seep through the cracks in the curtains, Joelâs exhaustion finally began to catch up with him. His eyes grew heavy, and despite his best efforts, he drifted into a restless sleep, his arm still draped protectively over you.
When he finally woke, the apartment was filled with the pale light of early morning. He blinked groggily, his mind still clouded with sleep, but something felt off. The warmth of your body beside him was gone. He reached out, his hand finding only the empty space where you had been.
Panic flared in his chest as he sat up quickly, his eyes scanning the room. The bed was cold where you had lain, and the room was eerily silent. âWhere the hell are you?â he muttered to himself, running a hand through his hair as he forced himself out of bed.
His heart pounded in his chest as he searched the small apartment, calling your name, but there was no answer. The sense of dread he had felt the night before came rushing back, stronger than ever. He knew you couldnât have gone far, but the thought of you out there alone, especially in your condition, made his stomach twist with worry.
Joel threw on his jacket, his movements frantic as he prepared to leave and search for you. He couldnât bear the thought of something happening to you, not when he had just realized how much he needed you. As he headed for the door, he stopped short, his hand gripping the doorknob tightly. He took a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down, to think. You were strong, capableâhe knew that. But still, the protective urge in him screamed to find you, to bring you back and keep you safe.
With one last glance around the empty apartment, Joel stepped outside, his mind racing as he tried to figure out where you might have gone. He couldnât lose youânot now, not ever.
Joel knew you had a habit of going to certain places when you needed spaceâwhen you needed to clear your head. He made his way through the maze of streets, his mind fixated on finding you. As he walked, his thoughts spiraled. What if you were angry enough to leave the QZ? What if youâd decided you didnât want to face him again? The guilt from the night before weighed heavily on him, and the fear that heâd pushed you away was overwhelming.
He headed towards a small, secluded spot behind one of the less-used buildingsâa place you often went when you needed to be alone. It was out of sight from most people, offering a rare bit of privacy in the crowded QZ. As he turned the corner, his breath caught in his throat. There you were, sitting on an old, crumbling bench, your hands clasped tightly in your lap.
Relief washed over him, so intense it almost brought him to his knees. For a moment, he just stood there, taking in the sight of you. You looked small and lost, your shoulders hunched as if the weight of the world had finally settled on them. But you were safe. You were here. That was all that mattered.
He approached slowly, not wanting to startle you. The crunch of gravel under his boots made you look up, your eyes meeting his. The raw emotion in your gazeâfear, uncertainty, and something that looked like regretâhit him like a punch to the gut.
Joel stopped a few feet away, unsure of what to say, how to bridge the gap that had opened between you. His mouth opened, but no words came out. What could he possibly say to make this better? To fix the hurt he had caused?
âI didnât mean to leave,â you finally said, your voice small and fragile. âI justâŚneeded to think.â
Joel nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat. âI get it,â he replied, his voice rough with emotion. He took a cautious step closer, wanting to reach out, but unsure if you wanted him to. âI shouldnât have⌠I shouldnât have let you leave like that.â
You shook your head, a tear slipping down your cheek. âItâs not your fault. I justââ Your voice broke, and you wiped at your eyes, frustration evident in the gesture. âI donât know how to deal with all of this. Itâs too much, Joel. Everything is too much.â
âI donât know if I can do this,â you whispered, the words barely audible.
Joel crouched down in front of you, his hand still on your shoulder, his gaze locked onto yours. âWe donât have to have all the answers right now,â he said softly.
âThere isnât a place for raising a baby.â You spoke, looking down at your hands, the thoughts swirling in your mind too overwhelming to express. âLydia could help me,â you whispered, almost to yourself. âShe could help meâŚterminate it.â
Joelâs reaction was immediate, his voice hard and unyielding. âNo.â The word came out sharper than he intended, and he saw you flinch. He softened his tone, but the resolve remained. âWeâre not doing that.â
You looked up at him, your eyes wide with a mixture of fear and confusion. âBut, Joel, what ifââ you began, but he cut you off.
âI said no,â he repeated, more firmly this time. âWeâre not ending this.â
Tears welled up in your eyes, the intensity of the moment overwhelming you. âBut Iâm scared, Joel,â you confessed, your voice breaking. âWhat if we canât do this? What if itâs too much?â
Joel crossed the room in two long strides and knelt in front of you, his hands gently cupping your face. âIâm scared too,â he admitted, his voice thick with emotion. âBut I canât lose you.â
Tears streamed down your cheeks as you looked into his eyes, the weight of the decision pressing down on you. âI donât know if I can do this,â you whispered, your voice barely audible.
Joel pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly against his chest. âYouâre not alone in this,â he murmured into your hair. âWeâll do it together. Whatever happens, weâll face it together.â
You clung to him, the fear and uncertainty still gnawing at you, but for the first time since youâd found out, you felt a small measure of comfort. Joel wasnât backing down, and maybe, just maybe, that was enough.
âI love you and I wonât leave you alone, babyâ he whispered, kissing your lips.
Joelâs words wrapped around you like a lifeline, pulling you back from the edge of your fears. You clung to him, your grip tight but gentle, as if you were afraid, he might disappear again. The warmth of his embrace, the sincerity in his voice, and the tenderness of his kiss were all anchors in the storm that had been swirling inside you.
âI love you too,â you whispered back, your voice thick with emotion. You could feel the tears drying on your cheeks, replaced by a sense of tentative hope. The weight of your worries didnât vanish, but Joelâs presence made them seem a little more manageable.
Joel gently cupped your face in his hands, his thumbs brushing away the remaining tears from your cheeks. âWeâre gonna get through this,â he said firmly. âI donât know how, but we will. Weâre a team. Weâve faced worse before.â
You nodded, finding strength in his conviction. âOkay,â you murmured, feeling a flicker of warmth in your chest. âIâll try to believe that.â
Joelâs eyes softened as he leaned in closer, pressing his forehead to yours. âWeâll figure it out together,â he promised. âBut right now, my focus is taking care of you and the baby.â
Hours later, the apartment was quiet once again, save for the soft hum of a generator and the occasional creak of the building settling into its nightly stillness. You had managed to distract yourself with small tasks around the apartment, trying to keep your mind occupied and calm. The weight of the conversation with Joel still lingered, but his earlier reassurance had brought a sense of calm you hadn't expected.
You were in the middle of organizing some supplies when you heard the front door open. The sound of footsteps followed, and a few moments later, Joel's voice cut through the quiet. It was a familiar, comforting sound, but this time, it was tinged with an edge of frustration.
âYou think this is a joke?â Joelâs voice was sharp, and you could hear the anger in his tone.
You quickly moved toward the front of the apartment, concern etching across your face. When you reached the living area, you saw Joel standing in the doorway, his face set in a hard line. Beside him stood a teenagerâa girl who looked no older than sixteen. Her clothes were ragged, and she had a wary, defensive posture.
The girlâs eyes flickered between you and Joel, her expression a mix of fear and defiance. Joelâs anger was palpable, and it was clear that the situation was tense.
âJoel, whatâs going on?â you asked, trying to keep your voice steady, though you felt a pang of anxiety at the sight of the girl and the intensity of Joelâs demeanor.
Joel's eyes shifted to you, the anger in them still evident but now mixed with a hint of exhaustion. âSheâs got a name,â he said, gesturing toward the girl. âHer nameâs Ellie.â
Ellie looked up at you, her eyes wary but hopeful. Joelâs expression softened slightly as he continued, âTurns out sheâs supposed to be delivered to the Fireflies.
You glanced at Joel, understanding dawning. âYouâre going to take her to them,â you said, looking back at Ellie. âAnd youâll have the chance to find Tommy along the way.â
Joel nodded, a hint of resignation in his stance. âYeah, thatâs the deal,â he said.
âBut what aboutââ
Joel cut you off gently. âI know itâs a lot to take in. We need to leave now. Thereâs an opportunity for us to get out of the QZ and head to a place where things might be better. But it means we have to move fast.â
Ellie shifted uncomfortably, glancing between you and Joel. âI donât want to be a problem,â she said quietly. âIf itâs too muchââ
âNo,â you interrupted, shaking your head. âItâs not that. I just⌠Iâm not sure what to do. I mean, this is all so sudden.â
Joel stepped closer, his expression earnest. âWe donât have much time. We need to move quickly before things get worse. I know itâs hard, but this is our chance to get out of here. To find some place where we can start over.â
You looked at Joel, the weight of his words sinking in. âAnd what about the baby?â you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. âHow will weââ
âWeâll figure it out,â Joel said firmly. âWe have to. Thereâs no time to waste. This is our chance to make a new life, to give the baby a better chance.â
You took a deep breath, feeling the gravity of the situation. âAlright,â you said finally, nodding. âIâll do it. Weâll go. Just⌠letâs make sure weâre ready.â
Joelâs face softened with relief, and he gave a nod. âGood. Tess will be back soon. We need to pack up and get out before anyone notices weâre gone.â
As you hurriedly packed, a thought clawed at the back of your mind, growing louder and louder until it burst out of you in a shaky whisper. "But Iâll be a burden," you said, your voice breaking. "Iâll slow you down, Joel. You know it."
Joel stopped what he was doing, turning to face you. "No," he said firmly, the word cutting through the tense air like a knife. He crossed the room in a few quick strides and cupped your face in his hands, forcing you to look into his eyes. There was a fierce intensity in his gaze, something raw and unwavering.
"Youâre not a burden," he insisted, his voice low and filled with emotion. "You're the reason I wake up every day. I wouldnât be alive if it wasnât for you, baby. Without you⌠without you, nothing makes sense anymore."
Your breath hitched, and tears welled up in your eyes as you listened to him, his words breaking down the walls you had built around your fears. Joelâs hands trembled slightly as he continued, his thumb brushing away a tear that had escaped down your cheek.
"So, if this is the chance I have to give you a life you deserve in this shithole," he went on, his voice steady but thick with emotion, "then Iâll take it. Iâll take you with me and give it to you and our baby. I promise you, Iâll do whatever it takes to make sure youâre both safe. I wonât lose you. Not now, not ever."
You could feel his sincerity, the depth of his determination to protect you and the life growing inside you. You felt a wave of emotions crashing over youâfear, relief, hope, and love, all swirling together. You closed your eyes, leaning into his touch, letting his words sink in.
"Joel," you whispered, your voice trembling, "I⌠I donât know if Iâm ready for this, for any of this."
His grip on your face tightened just a bit, his gaze never wavering. "Neither do I," he admitted. "But weâll figure it out. Weâve faced worse, and weâre still standing. Weâll get through this. Together."
You nodded slowly, your heart hammering in your chest. He leaned in, pressing his forehead against yours, and you could feel the warmth of his breath on your skin. "Iâm not letting you go," he murmured.
Ellie stood by the door, her arms crossed, an incredulous look on her face. "Are you seriously risking your pregnant girlfriend?" she asked, her voice sharp with disbelief. She looked between the two of you, clearly struggling to understand the situation.
Joel turned his head, a flicker of annoyance crossing his features, but he kept his voice calm. "It's not that simple, kid."
Ellie scoffed. "Seems pretty simple to me," she shot back. "You're dragging her and⌠whatever's in thereâ" she gestured vaguely toward your stomach, "âthrough god knows what to get me to the Fireflies. What if something happens?"
You took a deep breath, stepping forward to meet Ellieâs eyes. "I know what I'm getting into," you said firmly. "I can take care of myself."
Ellie rolled her eyes. "Yeah, and what if you can't? I mean, what if you get sick or something? What if you get hurt?" Her voice softened, just a bit, the worry evident. "Itâs not just about you anymore."
Joelâs jaw clenched, and you could see the conflict in his eyes. He turned to Ellie; his tone more measured. "I get it, Ellie," he said. "But leaving her here⌠leaving her in this place⌠thatâs not an option either."
Ellie threw her hands up. "Great, so itâs a lose-lose situation."
You couldnât help but let out a small, dry laugh. "Pretty much," you said, trying to inject some lightness into the tension-filled room.
There was a beat of silence, the reality of the situation settling over everyone. Joel reached for your hand, squeezing it gently. "Weâll figure it out," he murmured, more to you than anyone else.
Within a short time, Tess arrived, and the group of you prepared to leave the apartment, stepping out into the uncertain world beyond the QZ. The prospect of escaping to a new place, combined with the responsibility of ensuring the safety of both Ellie and your unborn child, loomed over you.
Joel led the way, his eyes scanning the area as you followed, Ellie close behind. The journey ahead was fraught with danger and uncertainty, but for the first time in a long while, you felt a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, there was a chance for a new beginning.
As you stepped out of the QZ and into the unfamiliar landscape beyond, the weight of your situation pressed heavily on you. The world outside was a mix of desolate ruins and overgrown wilderness, a stark contrast to the relative safety of the quarantine zone. With each step, you could feel the gravity of the journey ahead, not just for yourself, but for your unborn child and Ellie, who now looked up to you as a beacon of hope and guidance.
Joel walked beside you, his presence a constant reassurance in the chaos. He kept a vigilant eye on the surroundings, his hand occasionally reaching out to make sure you were close. Tess, ever practical, moved ahead, scouting the path and ensuring that it was as safe as possible.
Ellie followed behind, her expression a mix of curiosity and concern. The harsh reality of the world outside the QZ was a stark contrast to the relative safety sheâd known, and she looked to you and Joel for guidance and protection.
The landscape seemed to stretch endlessly, with the occasional remnants of civilization scattered among the ruins. The path ahead was uncertain, filled with potential threats and unknown challenges. Yet, with Joelâs hand firmly grasping yours and Tess leading the way, you found a small measure of comfort in the unity of your group.
As you walked, Joel glanced at you occasionally, his gaze softening when he saw the lump forming in your throat.
With each step you took away from the QZ, you felt a mixture of trepidation and hope. The future was uncertain, and the dangers were real, but you were determined to face them head-on, for yourself, for your child, and for the family you were trying to protect.
#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller x y/n#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller x f!reader#pedro pascal character fanfiction#joel miller series#the last of us fanfiction#joel miller#joel miller imagine#joel miller angst#tlou fanfiction#joel the last of us#joel x reader#Joel Miller#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal fanfiction#the last of us#pedro pascal imagine#pedro pascal
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Unspoken Desires
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/7f68d2e8b8683e61366b4f4312d3566f/9ffd6a0014d296b1-95/s540x810/ee7b620a84fb617fed71b925a7d80fd176d286b1.jpg)
Pairing: fem!Reader x Old Man!Logan
Warning: 18+ MDNI, SMUT,explicit language, coercion (if you squint), oral (male/female receiving), handjob, fingering, unprotected p in v, missionary, doggy style, anal play, creampie.
Summary: Y/N is always the one taking care of everyone, but tonight Logan decides itâs her turn to let go. Rough, tender, and unapologetically intense, heâll make sure she doesnât forget whoâs in chargeâor how good it feels to be taken care of for once.
Word count: 5.6k
A/N: As @coocoocachewgotscrewed so brilliantly put it, 'As the girl that takes care of everyone: SOMEONE TAKE CARE OF ME.' And thatâs how this little fic came to life.
Š th3mrskory. donât copy, translate, or use my works in any form with AI, ChatGPT or any other automated tools. I only share my stories here, so if you see them posted elsewhere, iâd appreciate it if you let me know.
The world had never been kind to her softness. In her youth, she'd learned early that the only way to survive was to take up space, to become a force others couldn't ignore, even if they didn't understand it. She had built walls from the ground up, stone by stone until they formed a fortress no one could breach. She had everything togetherâmostly. She had to. People depended on her and needed her strength to carry them through the chaos of life, so she did. She carried it all. Always.
But there were momentsâquiet moments, when the world was stillâwhen the weight of it all pressed against her chest, relentless. The loneliness in her veins. The unspoken ache buried deep within her ribs.
She never asked for help. She didn't need it. Her hands were too used to giving. And when she laughed, when she made jokes about being singleâ"Men want to be babied. I don't have time to raise a child."âit was easier to mask the truth. It was easier to hide the hunger that lingered beneath her words. The hunger for something she couldn't name, something too soft to fit into the life she'd built.
It was supposed to be just another day, another task, another moment in the long string of motions she went through without thought. But then she saw himâLogan, standing there with that quiet, raw strength of his. The way he didn't try to impress anyone, didn't need to, because the power in him was as much in his silence as it was in his actions. There was no pretense. No façade.
And she hated that it drew her in.Â
She hated how much she wanted himâhim, the one man who wouldn't cower in her presence, the one who wouldn't need her to be anything other than exactly what she was.
She noticed him more these days, more than she cared to admit. She tried to bury the thoughts, to ignore the way her heart would quicken whenever he was near, the way her body seemed to ache for something it didn't know how to name.
Logan saw it, though. He always did. The way she wore that strength-like armor. But he'd spent enough time with it to know what armor looked likeâhe knew what it meant to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders and never let anyone see how heavy it was.
He didn't pity her. Hell, he admired her more than anyone he'd ever known. But he saw the cracks. The storm churned behind her eyes. The way she pulled away just when things might have gotten too real, too close.Â
She never let anyone in.
But he wasn't afraid of it. Not of her. Not of that ferocity.
And so, on that night, after a thousand little things had piled up until there was no room left for her to breathe, it came out.
Her words were sharp, and cutting, but they were the truth. The raw, jagged truth that she never allowed to be spoken. She was tired of pretending. Tired of holding the world together when no one saw her crumble beneath it.
"What, you think I don't need help? You think I like doing everything myself?" Her voice trembled only slightly, a crack in the fortress that she had so carefully built.
He didn't flinch. Didn't back away. He'd seen that wall before, and he didn't fear it.
He only stepped closer, his presence as solid as the ground beneath them.
"I think you're too damn stubborn to ask for it," he said, his voice low, but the understanding in it was enough to make her heart catch in her throat.
For a moment, the world paused. The storm inside her stilled, and she saw itâreally saw it for the first time. He wasn't afraid of her strength. He didn't want to tear it down. He just wanted to be there, beside her, when it all became too much to bear.
He didn't need to fix her. He didn't need to save her.
He just needed to let her be.
Let her lean into him. Let her rest.
Her breath caught as she stepped toward him, her hands trembling, unsure but desperate. For once, she wasn't the one giving. For once, she could be held, could be taken care of.Â
Logan's hands were steady, as they always were, but now, they weren't just offering strength. They were offering safetyâsomething she hadn't realized she'd been searching for all along.Â
"Hey," he whispered, his voice low, soothing. "You don't have to be strong all the time. You're allowed to let it out."Â
The words broke something inside her. Heat prickled behind her eyes, and her chest heaved with the weight of everything she'd kept buried.Â
Logan didn't move. He didn't push. He just let her cry, his hand resting firm and comforting on her back, his presence solid as the ground beneath her.Â
"Y/N..." His voice was softer now, laced with something she couldn't quite place. Gently, his hands cupped her face, his thumbs brushing away her tears with a tenderness that made her knees weak.Â
"You don't have to carry it all, bub. Let me in, just this once."Â
Her hands shook as she pressed them to his chest, feeling the steady thrum of his heartbeat beneath her fingertips. Grounding her. And when she rubbed her cheek against his palm, the motion instinctive, something inside her gave way.Â
Her eyes fell to his lips. The urge to kiss him became impossible to ignore.Â
He leaned down, brushing his lips against her forehead, but then he paused, his gaze locking with hers.Â
She couldn't stop herself. She leaned in, kissing him hard, desperate for the release, the comfort, the closeness. It was a kiss that broke everything wide openâa kiss that held the weight of everything they'd both been holding back.Â
The kiss deepened, the world narrowing to the warmth of his lips and the solid strength of his hands still cradling her face. She felt the tension in her chest unravel, replaced by a need that clawed at her, desperate and all-consuming.
Logan didn't rush. He never did. His hands slid down, slow and deliberate, tracing over her arms until his fingers wrapped around her wrists. He pulled back just enough to meet her eyes, his breath hot against her lips.
"No walls. No fightin'. Just let me.", he murmured, his voice gravelly and sure, sending a shiver down her spine. The words hit her like a hammer, shattering the last of her defenses. She wasn't used to this, wasn't used to handing over the reins, but with Logan, it felt...safe. Right.
Her pulse thundered as she nodded, the tiniest of movements, but it was enough for him.
Logan's lips curved into a faint, knowing smile before he kissed her again, deeper this time, his hands guiding hers up and over her head. Her fingers curled instinctively as he pinned her wrists against the wall behind her, the roughness of the surface contrasting with the gentleness of his touch.
"Just let me make you feel good," he said, his voice low and commanding. She exhaled shakily, her head tilting back as his mouth moved to her neck, teeth scraping lightly against her skin before his tongue soothed the spot. Her body arched into him, her hips pressing forward, seeking more, needing more.
"Logan..." Her voice was barely above a whisper, a plea wrapped in the sound of his name.
He hummed against her throat, one hand still holding her wrists in place while the other traveled down her side, his fingers skimming over the curve of her hip. "That's it," he rumbled. "Let me hear you."
Each touch, each kiss, stripped away the layers she'd built to protect herself. She wasn't in control anymoreânot of her body, not of her mind, not of the way she melted beneath him. And for once, she didn't care.
Logan moved with a precision that left her breathless, his hand slipping beneath her shirt, rough fingertips tracing the softness of her skin. He paused just below her ribs, his eyes flicking up to hers.
"Say it, darlin'," he coaxed. "Say you'll let me have you."
Her lips parted, the words tumbling out before she could stop them. "I'm yours."
And that was all it took.
His hands, calloused and strong, gripped her thighs, hoisting her up with an ease that sent a shiver racing down her spine. She gasped, clinging to his shoulders as her body pressed tightly against his.
"Where's your bedroom?" he growled against her ear, his voice low, gravelly, and filled with the kind of raw command that made her knees weak, though she wasn't even standing.
"End of the hall," she whispered, the words trembling out of her as his teeth grazed her earlobe, a low hum rumbling deep in his chest.
"Good girl," he murmured, the praise almost too rough to feel soft, and yet it sent heat pooling low in her stomach.
He moved through her place with purposeful strides, each step a reminder of the strength coiled in his body. She felt the steady rhythm of his breathing against her chest, the way his arms tightened around her as if he dared anything or anyone to take her from him.
When they reached her bedroom, Logan kicked the door open without hesitation, the force behind it making it swing back against the wall. The dim light from the hallway framed his silhouetteâbroad shoulders, wild hair, and eyes that burned as he looked down at her.
The room felt smaller with him in it, his presence overwhelming, and consuming. He didn't glance around, didn't make a single remark. His focus was entirely on her as if the world beyond her didn't exist.
"On the bed," he rasped, his voice cutting through the thick silence.
Before she could even process his words, he was lowering her onto the mattress, her back meeting the cool sheets as his hands lingered, pressing her down as he needed her to stay right where she was.
"Loganâ"
"Quiet." The single word was sharp and commanding, and it sent a jolt of heat through her.
His eyes roved over her, dark and smoldering, drinking her in as though he was committing every inch of her to memory. One knee pressed into the mattress beside her, his weight shifting as he leaned closer, his hands bracketing her head.
"Spent your whole damn life holdin' everything together," he muttered his tone a mix of frustration and something darker. "Not tonight. Tonight, you're mine."
Her lips parted, but no sound came out, just a sharp intake of breath as he tilted her chin up with his thumb, forcing her to meet his gaze.
"I'm not askin', darlin'." His voice dropped to a growl, sending a shudder down her spine.
Her heart thundered in her chest as his lips claimed hers again, rough and unrelenting, his teeth nipping at her bottom lip just enough to make her gasp. The sound made his grip tighten, his hands sliding down her sides slowly as if savoring the way her body responded to him.
"You don't have to be strong tonight," he murmured against her lips, his voice softer now, though no less commanding. "Let me carry it. Let me carry you."
Her resolve cracked beneath the weight of his words, her body trembling as her hands found his chest, fingers curling into the fabric of his dress shirt. For once, she didn't fight. She didn't resist.
She just let go.
Logan's eyes never left hers as he straightened, standing tall above her. His hands were steady as he reached for the hem of her shirt. The air between them felt charged, and heavy, like the moment before a storm.
"Arms up," he commanded, his voice low and rough, leaving no room for hesitation.
She obeyed without a word, raising her arms as he gripped the fabric, his knuckles brushing against her sides. He pulled the shirt up slowly, dragging the material over her skin with a sensuality that made her shiver. The shirt caught for a moment, tangled in her hair, and Logan let out a low chuckle, dark and throaty.
"Relax," he muttered, his voice softer now as he freed her, his fingers lingering against her temple, brushing stray strands away from her face.
The shirt dropped to the floor with a quiet rustle, forgotten the second it left his hand. His gaze roamed over her now-bare skin, unhurried and scorching, like he wanted to memorize every curve, every scar, every inch of her that she'd never let anyone else see.
"You're beautiful," he said, the words rough and quiet as if they weren't meant for her to hear, but they landed with the force of a confession.
Her cheeks burned under his scrutiny, but there was no hiding from him. He stepped closer, his hands moving to the waistband of her jeans. His fingers brushed her skin, calloused and warm, and she bit back a gasp as he popped the button with ease.
"Look at me," he ordered, his tone low but firm.
Her eyes met his, and the intensity in his gaze made her breath hitch. He was utterly focused as if she were the only thing that mattered in the world. Slowly, he slid the zipper down, the sound loud in the quiet room.
"Lift your hips," he murmured, his hands curling around the waistband, tugging the denim down with maddening slowness.
She shifted, doing as he asked, and he peeled the jeans away, dragging them down her legs. His fingers brushed her calves, and her ankles before the fabric joined her shirt on the floor. The air felt colder now, her skin hypersensitive to every little movement, every little touch.
Logan's eyes raked over her, his expression dark and unreadable. Then he reached out, his hands gripping her ankles, his thumbs running along the delicate bone there. He tugged her toward him, pulling her to the edge of the bed with a strength that made her stomach flip.
"You have no idea what you do to me," he growled, his voice ragged, laced with something almost feral.
Her heart raced as he leaned down, his fingers hooking into the thin straps of her bra, sliding them off her shoulders with an aching slowness. The straps fell away, his knuckles grazing her skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake.
"You don't need this," he murmured, his lips brushing the curve of her collarbone as he reached behind her, unhooking the clasp with a practiced ease.
The bra slipped from her body, and Logan let it fall without a glance, his hands already returning to her, tracing a path down her sides. His palms were warm, rough in the best way, and they left trails of fire wherever they touched.
"Every inch of you," he whispered, his lips ghosting over her skin as his hands slid lower. "Mine."
Her breath hitched, her body arching toward him instinctively, surrendering completely to his touch.
Logan's hands paused at her hips, his fingers slipping under the thin elastic of her panties. His gaze flicked up to hers, holding her there with an intensity that made her pulse thunder in her ears.
She nodded, her voice failing her, but it didn't matter. Logan saw everything he needed in her eyes.
With one smooth motion, he slid the last barrier from her body, baring her completely to him. He stood there for a moment, his gaze raking over her with a hunger that made her shiver.
"Perfect," he muttered, more to himself than to her, before leaning down, his lips brushing against her ear.
"Now let me show you what it means to let go."
Logan knelt between her legs, his hands on her knees, gently parting them as he moved with calm, deliberate intent. She froze for a second, a wave of embarrassment washing over her as she realized she hadn't shaved. Her gaze quickly flicked away, her cheeks flushing with the sudden vulnerability she felt.
But Logan noticed. He looked at her with a reassuring, almost amused smirk, his eyes flickering down her body before meeting hers again.
"Don't," he murmured, his voice low and soothing as he pressed a thumb along her inner thigh. "I like it just like this."
Her breath hitched at his words, the tension in her body slowly melting under his touch.
He lowered himself slowly, nuzzling his face against her inner thighs, placing soft, teasing kisses along their expanse. His right hand moved to her center, and he leaned in, pressing a kiss to her sensitive bud. His middle and ring fingers slid over her hole, collecting her wetness, and spreading it across her labia.
"She's drooling for me," he murmured as his fingers slowly began to push inside, allowing her to adjust to the stretch. He kept his gaze fixed on her face, watching her pleasure as his fingers began to pump in and out, each movement deliberate and slow.
His fingers continued their rhythmic motion, working in tandem with his mouth. He moved his tongue over her clit, the tip flicking over the sensitive skin in a slow, teasing rhythm that made her body arch toward him. Her hands fisted the sheets beneath her, desperately trying to hold onto something as the heat of his touch seared into her.
"Logan... please," she gasped, her voice trembling, her hips pressing closer to his face.
Logan didn't stop. His tongue flicked faster now, tracing every curve, every inch of her, his mouth drinking in her arousal. She couldn't stop herself anymore; her back arched as her body responded to him, the tension building within her like a wave. "So good," she moaned, her voice breathy and desperate.
"You're so fucking beautiful," Logan murmured against her skin, his voice rough, thick with desire. He paused for a moment, lifting his head to look up at her. "I can feel you shaking. Let go."
She shuddered under his gaze, the command in his voice stripping away the last of her resistance. Her body wanted to obey, to give herself over completely to the sensations he was creating. "I can't... I need you, Logan," she pleaded, tangling her fingers in his hair, urging him back to her, wordlessly begging for more.
Logan smirked, his hands sliding down her sides, gripping her hips tightly as he pulled her closer to his mouth, continuing the rhythm with even more force, more hunger. Every lick, every flick of his tongue brought her closer to the edge.
He could feel the way her body tightened, the way her breath quickened. And then, without warning, his mouth pressed harder against her clit, his tongue moving with desperate speed as he drove her to the brink. She moaned loudly, her body shuddering as she reached the edge. "Logan... oh god," she cried out, completely surrendering to the pleasure.
As she caught her breath, her body still humming with the lingering sensation of his touch, a quiet yearning stirred within her. She sat up, her eyes locking onto his as she gently took his hand. Without a word, she brought his fingers to her lips, her eyes never leaving his. She traced them with her tongue, sucking them clean, savoring the taste of her arousal, before pulling back just a little.
"Dirty girlâŚ" he said, his left hand cupping her cheek.
"I could be sucking something else", she said seductively.
He looked at her with an intensity that sent a shiver down her spine. "You don't have to," he murmured, his voice low, steady.
"I want to. Please."
Logan stood up slowly, keeping his eyes locked with hers. There was an intensity in his gaze, an unspoken challenge, and a silent invitation all at once.
She positioned herself on her knees before him. Her movements were deliberate, almost hypnotic, as her hands traced the strong lines of his shoulders, sliding down his chest, and over the hard muscles of his belly.
When her fingers reached his belt, she didn't hesitate. With a swift motion, she unbuckled it, the leather slipping free with an audible click before it fell to the floor. Her hands moved quickly to the button of his dress pants, flicking it open, and she slowly lowered the zipper.
She tugged at the hem of his shirt, pulling it free from his waistband. Her fingers, delicate yet determined, began to unbutton the shirt, one button at a time. Her gaze never left him, and the way her hands worked with such slow precision sent a wave of heat through his chest. The act was intimate, each button a whispered invitation.
Once the shirt was undone, she moved to the cuffs, gently opening them before pressing a soft kiss to the back of each of his hands. Logan closed his eyes briefly at the touch, the tenderness of it catching him off guard. His thumb stroked the curve of her cheek, the touch affectionate, reverent.
There was something magnetic about the way she undressed himâeach movement slow and filled with purpose. Her eyes held a quiet hunger that mirrored his own, a silent language between them that made his pulse quicken.
He shrugged the shirt off his shoulders, letting it fall carelessly to the floor. She didn't waste a moment, pulling his pants and boxers down his legs in one smooth, fluid motion, letting them drop to the floor as he stepped out of the garment.
He stood there, bare in front of her. His body was exposed, but it wasn't the nudity that left him feeling vulnerable. It was the way his body didn't respond like it once had, the slow burn of frustration creeping in.
But that did not deter her. She braced herself on all fours, the movement full of quiet confidence. Leaning in, she began licking and gently sucking at his balls, the heat of her mouth sending a shiver through him. His breath hitched as her right hand took hold of his semi-hard dick, her touch light but teasing, coaxing him to respond. The softness of her lips, the pressure of her hand, stirred something deep inside him, and he could feel himself slowly hardening.
She licked a long stripe from his balls up to his tip, her mouth hot against his skin. The sudden surge of sensation had him grunting low, his hands instinctively finding their way into her hair, fingers curling into her locks as he pulled her closer.
"Fuck," Logan breathed, his voice low and rough, as his grip tightened on her hair, pulling her in deeper, the feeling of her mouth sending waves of heat through him. "Don't stop," he muttered.
Y/N could feel him growing heavier and thick in her mouth. She released his dick with a loud pop and with both hands began pumping it.
At the sight Logan closed his eyes and let his head fall back, the hold on her hair tightening. She took him in her mouth and, hollowing her cheeks, began taking him deeper.
She gagged around him when her nose reached the grey hairs on the base and pulled back coughing, a string of saliva connecting her to his member.
Y/N looked up and smiled mischievously seeing him fully erect.
Logan pushed her onto the bed, his hands firmly pinning her wrists to the mattress as he hovered over her. His eyes locked onto hers.
"You're trouble," he finally muttered, his voice deep and rough.
She smirked, but there was a glint of challenge in her eyes. "You don't seem to mind," she teased, her breath hitching as his gaze darkened with hunger.
His lips curved into a slow, predatory smile. Without warning, he moved, pinning her down more securely. "No, I don't," he growled, his voice low as he leaned in closer, brushing his lips over her neck.
Her breath quickened as she felt the weight of his body pressing against hers. She could feel the heat radiating off him, and despite herself, she arched up, meeting the intensity of his gaze. He was in control now, his hands steady as he guided her into place.
He took a breath, his lips brushing against her ear, sending a shiver down her spine. "You're going to beg for it," he whispered. His tone was rough, yet there was a subtle edge of something softer, almost possessive. "And I'll make sure you don't forget who's in charge."
She bit her lip, anticipating what he would do next.
Logan smiled darkly and kissed her again, his right hand traveling down her chest and grabbing her right breast, giving it a harsh squeeze.
He positioned himself between her legs, gripping his member at the base as he ran his tip along her sensitive center, teasing her with deliberate strokes from her clit to her entrance. Each motion made her hips twitch, her body responding instinctively to his touch.
Her moans filled the room, "Logan," she said breathlessly.
"Yes?"
She closed her legs around him pulling him closer. Logan laughed at her antics. Without breaking eye contact, he leaned back slightly, gathering spit in his mouth before letting it fall onto her, aiding his movement.
Her moans became desperate, almost broken, her hands clutching at his forearms. "Logan," she whimpered, her voice raw with need. "Please⌠I need you."
His smirk deepened as he held her gaze, the intensity in his eyes making her squirm beneath him. "I told you, you'd beg" he murmured, his voice low and rough.
Her chest heaved, her lips trembling with the words she couldn't seem to stop. "I'm yours, Logan. PleaseâŚ"
One large hand moved to her throat, his palm pressing gently against her skin, holding her in place. His thumb traced the line of her jaw as his other hand gripped her thigh, pulling her even closer. "Mine," he growled, his tone possessive, claiming.
The pressure at her throat made her head swim, a strange mix of restraint and trust that sent a bolt of heat through her. She arched into his hold, her body surrendering completely.
"You like this, don't you?" he rasped, his lips brushing against hers but not quite touching. His voice was low and commanding, but there was a glint of something softer beneath it, a promise just out of reach.
Her breath hitched, and she let out a shaky moan, her hands clutching at his wrist. "Yes," she whispered, desperate and trembling.
His mouth curved into a wicked smirk as his hand shifted, loosening his hold just enough for her to feel the contrast. "Let me take care of you," he murmured, dragging his thumb along the curve of her jaw.
The words lingered in the air, heavy with intent but unspoken in full. His free hand slid down her body, fingers tracing her curves with a deliberateness that made her skin tingle.
She whimpered, her body responding to every calculated movement. "Logan..."
He leaned in, his lips ghosting over her ear. "Stop thinking. Just feel," he whispered, the edge of his voice rough yet grounding. "That's all I want from you tonight."
He shifted between her legs, his hands gripping her hips, lifting her with ease as he positioned himself. The heat of his body pressed against hers, and her heart thudded in her chest, anticipation coiling tightly in her core.
"Tell me if it's too much," he murmured, his voice a rough whisper.
She nodded, her breath hitching as she felt the tip of his member pressing against her entrance. With a slow, fluid motion, he eased himself inside, feeling the resistance of her body disappearing.
Y/N threw her head back, a low moan slipping from her lips as her body adjusted to his length, "Fuck," she breathed, unable to hide the raw need in her voice.
She bit her lip at the feeling of him twitching inside of her. Logan leaned forward, his tongue sliding down the side of her neck. He then moved to her breasts, attaching his mouth to one of her nipples and sucking. He released her nipple.
"Breathe," he whispered, his hand sliding up to rest on her waist, grounding her. "I've got you."
He straightened up, his body towering over hers, and braced his hand on the headboard as he drew his hips back, the feel of his withdrawal sending a shiver through her. She barely had time to adjust before he slammed back into her.
She was trembling beneath him, her nails digging into his shoulders as she tried to keep up with the brutal rhythm he set. Every time he pulled out, every time he pushed back in, the pressure inside her built, and she couldn't help but whimper.
He picked up the pace, his thrusts turning faster, more brutal, as he pushed into her with a hunger that matched the fire in her veins. Her hips moved to meet him, desperate for more, and he responded with a growl of approval, his hands tightening on her hips to anchor her in place as his rhythm grew harder, more punishing.
"Fuck Y/N."
She smiled at him.
"You like that, don't you?" Logan's voice was rough, and dark, as he pulled back slightly, only to push in even harder.
She couldn't stop herself from moaning, the sharpness of the sensation hitting her in waves.
"That's right," Logan growled, his grip on her hips like iron as he rocked into her with force.
Her body responded without thought, her legs wrapping tighter around his waist, pulling him deeper, faster as if she couldn't get enough. The sound of skin slapping echoed in the room, mixing with the desperate gasps coming from her lips.
Without warning, he shifted his position, his hands leaving her hips for a moment, only to slip under her and lift her body, pulling her into a new angle. She gasped, the sudden shift throwing her off balance, but Logan's grip on her was firm, and controlling, as he guided her back onto him.
Her back arched instinctively, the new position deepening their connection, and she moaned, her hands reaching for the headboard to brace herself. Logan's thrusts grew slower but deeper, more deliberate now, aimed to bring her right to the brink.
Logan's hand came down hard on her left asscheek jolting Y/N forward.
"LoganâŚ" she gasped, her voice trembling with need.
He could hear itâthe desperation in her voice, the way her body was bucking against his. He watched her face, her eyes closed tight, her lips parted in a silent plea for release. He wanted to hear her, wanted to feel her break under him.
He gave one last hard, deep thrust, then paused, letting the sensation build before pulling back almost completely. She whimpered, the loss of movement driving her crazy, and before she could protest, he repositioned again, this time bending her further back, his hands now holding her shoulders down as he ran his member between her asscheeks.
Her breath hitched as she looked back at him, over her shoulder, her eyes filled with raw desire.
Logan didn't wait any longer. He positioned himself behind her, his hands firmly gripping her hips as he pushed into her slowly at first, savoring the tight, intense heat that engulfed him. The change in angle sent a shockwave of pleasure through her, and she moaned, her hands clutching at the sheets in desperation.
"Fuck," Logan muttered, his voice low and full of grit as he began to move, his thrusts quick and forceful, each one pushing her further into the bed.
She gasped with each hard thrust, the pleasure taking over her senses, her body rocking in time with his. The deeper connection from this position sent waves of bliss coursing through her, and she pressed back into him, her hips meeting his with every thrust.
"Does this feel better?" Logan growled, his hands tightening on her hips, guiding her with raw intensity.
She could barely manage a breathless, "Yes, harderâŚ"
His thrusts grew harder, faster, and relentless, pushing her toward the edge.
She couldn't hold back anymore, "Logan âŚI'm gonnaâŚ"
His strokes grew sloppier as he grabbed her neck, angling her face so he could kiss her.
Y/N's moans filled the room. The mixture of his hard thrusts and the slap of his balls on her ass pushed her over the edge as she began shaking.
Y/N fell forward, her face on the bed and her ass in the air. Logan didn't stop. His hands opened her asscheeks as he watched his thick, veiny member going in and out of her hole, creating a creamy ring at the base of his member.
The new angle allowed Logan to continuously hit her cervix. "Be a good girl, come on my dick."
Her hands fisted the sheets and Logan, with his thumb began circling her other hole. The new stimulation tipped Y/N over the edge as she came hard on his member.
Logan didn't stop. Didn't even slow down as he followed her, his movements like a force of nature, unyielding, as he pushed her through the waves of pleasure, every last inch of her shaking with the force of it.
Her mouth fell open as she felt him stilling and his release spilling inside of her.
"Fuck!", he said, throwing his head back.
He remained still for a moment but then pulled out when he felt his member softening. He sat on his knees admiring their joint releases dripping out of her spent hole.
"Jesus, that's a fucking sight.", his index finger reached collecting the release and pushing it back.
Y/N moaned and fell on her stomach. He removed his fingers and lay next to her.
"Did it help?", he asked playfully.
"Shut up Logan."
______________________________________________________________
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âEasy,â I murmur, âeasy.â I show her what a deep breath looks like, trying to steady her growing panic. Her body shakes, her blue eyes wide, sweat glistens across her forehead. I rub my thumb against her knuckles, her hand gripping mine like life depends on it.
âIt hurts,â she whimpers, eyes closing with a hard wince. My other hand closes around her jaw and I softly blow hair into her face to cool her down.
âI've got you, darling.â
She shakes her head in refusal, a cry bubbling up her throat, âoh. Oh.â
âTension isn't helping our baby, please relax.â She gives me a look that makes me want to bury myself alive to recover from it. A hopeless scared gaze that makes me want to claw out my eyes on top of being five feet underground.
âHelp me,â she whines, âget him out of me.â
I flash a look at the royal healers around me, their eyes mildly impatient. I give them a cold stern look that has them shifting into action to avoid my ire.
âI'm still convinced it's a little girl,â I smile, brushing her hair that's matted onto her forehead.
âThere's nothing little about her then,â she groans and shifts away from me, her body locking up, âno, not again,â she cries and her fingernails dig into me. I have several of these wounds now but I can't even register it with the way I've been watching her so intently.
âBreathe,â I remind her quickly, âbreath in and out. Relax your jaw.â
Her teeth are bared to the world, the entirety of her rigid, airless.
âBreathe,â I bark, my worry crawling up my mouth.
She does but the sound that leaves with it is enough to drive me over an edge. My hand leaves her face and falls onto the swell of her stomach, bare to the room, our child begging to escape it. A blanket covers her lower half and I'm tempted to tear it away to see if there is progress. A healer beats me to it, bending my wifeâs knee up and opening her legs like a butterfly, blanket falling away.
âThat's the sound we were waiting for, your majesty,â the midwife coos gently. âYouâre ready to start pushing. Itâll all be over soon.â
Terror strikes me like a hard fist to the jaw and I sit there in stunned silence. My wife on the other hand starts a tantrum, limps a chaos as she tries to leave the bed. None of us expect this but with her so bloated, she barely makes it before I'm holding her still, pinning to the mattress. Her eyes are crazed and dazed with pain and anger.
âI am not pushing,â she hisses at me as if I was the one who suggested it.
âAre you saying that because you're afraid of the pain or because you don't think you can do it?â I challenge, raising an eyebrow. I dare to let my hand travel down between her legs, my fingers breaching the now expanded opening. I almost groan, âdarling,â my head slumps towards her with near relief, âyou are so close.â I feel the spot of thin hair, the curvature of a babyâs head. Our child.
âGet your fingers out of me,â she groans, whimpering.
âFirst I've heard that one,â I smirk. She flashes me a warning look that I eat up.
She again seems to be primed with a retort when both hands furiously find the bottom sheet. Giving my hand, wrist, and arm a break from her piercing touch. A terrified little yelp breaks from her mouth and one leg loses grip on the bedding and kicks out.
âOh please,â she heartbreakingly pleads. So unlike my vicious wife. âMake it stop.â
I instinctively brush my knuckles to her cheek, my other hand resting low on her stomach. âYou need to push, darling,â I press on her skin, âand hard. You're going to be just fine if you do that.â
She says something incoherent, a blubbering mess of raw emotion, exhaustion, and pain. Still she does what we all hoped, pushed. Her face tight with determination, chin to her chest, the sound of an animal in full heat coming out of her. She's never looked so beautiful.
âThat's it,â I encourage softly and twist, getting a cold cloth for her forehead and neck. She relaxes instantly, tears streaming down her face.
âI can't do this,â she says, voice breaking.
âOf course you can,â I say softly.
She shakes her head in defiance of my words. Head tipping back against the pile of pillows behind her. My wife shrieks, her body shaking violently. âNo, please, no,â she begs.
âIt comes, your majesty, push,â the healer beckons.
My focus waivers between how vulnerable and how strong my wife is in this moment that I too am breathless for a spell before I am smiling, staring down at the peek of dark hair.
âI see her, darling, push oh please push.â Our âpleaseâ is so contrasting that I laugh. She follows my suggestion and cries out again, this time her hand finding my forearm and holding tight. She looks at me, a face full of unabashed fear and loathing, âyou did this to me.â
I still can't wipe the joy from my face so my, âI know,â comes out manic.
She whimpers, tears cascading down her face and mingling with sweat. She swears colorfully. That head of dark hair moves forward and now holds her folds open and taut. She's screaming loud enough to break the windows and I'm there, holding her head against mine, getting closer and closer. âShh, it's almost over, you're doing so well.â
âSmall pushes now, blow out, stretch wide,â the healer mimics the breathing she wants to achieve but my wife just lets out the most pathetic of whimpers.
âHurts,â she mumbles.
âYou're amazing. I'm so impressed,â my lips brush into her sweaty hair.
âDon't say that like you're surprised,â she huffs at me.
I chuckle, leaning back to take in her burning blue eyes. âI'm not surprised.â
âJust a few more pushes,â the healer coaxs.
I watch the head pop out with a bit of liquid and a shrill cry from my partner, who now pants wildly, eyes lidded with weariness. âPull it out,â she demands, narrowing her gaze to menacing.
âYou'll push in a minute here,â the healer amends for her.
âJust take it out,â she begs and then groans deeply, eyes closing quickly, âohhh noooâ I watch in fascination as the baby starts to rotate slowly.
âHold on, dearie,â the healer tugs the cord up and over our childâs head eliminating a threat against its life already. âOpen these legs wider for me, there you go. Push, push, push.â
Thankfully my wife follows her orders. Her face bright red, and voice raising as more and more of the child emerges. Unceremoniously the screaming is replaced by the baby who now flails around in her mother's arms. Her. Our daughter. My wife and I lock eyes, her face split with adorable shock as if she hadn't just gone through all the work to make this happen. I slump towards them both, my adrenaline wearing off and I'm realizing my own hand has left crescent moons into my flesh from concern. I relax my body and take a deep breath.
âThank gods,â I murmured to no one in particular. I look up timidly to my wife who wipes our baby with a towel and scrunches her entire chin towards her neck to get a better look at the purple screeching face. Our daughter finally has a lapse in annoyance and her eyes open, stormy gray eyes forming a perfect mirror to gaze into. My wife drops back, a lifeless laugh forcing out of her, âall that only for her to look like you.â She sounds both bitter and proud.
I grin, âshe will no doubt be a stunner like me then.â
She huffs loudly but matches my smile, content with such a notion.
âThe next one will look like you.â
Her jaw drops open. âThe next one?!â
#birth#birth fic#giving birth#birth kink#painful birth#graphic birth#fantasy#fanfic#vanilla birth#fluff
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I have bad baby fever so take this.
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! Tags: Established relationship, baby? Afab!!
Ghost never thought about having children before. He didn't understand them; they confused him. Worst of all, he envied them. How could someone willingly bring a child into a world filled with so much chaos that men like him and the task force had to clean it all up? How could a child smile so innocently while his childhood was nothing short of a nightmare?
He didn't want kids.
That was until he met your niece, Lola. She had to stay overnight, interrupting the plans he made with the team. Johnny wanted to sit down and play a game of drunk poker, but upon seeing chubby little Lola sitting on the rug playing with her blocks, his heart practically melted at the sight.
"Lt., you didn't tell us the missus gave birth," Soap teased, eyes twinkling with mischief.
Ghost snorted, shaking his head. "She's not mine, Johnny. That's my niece, Lola."
The men exchanged amused glances, but their attention quickly turned back to Lola, who looked up from her blocks with a bright, toothy grin. She babbled something unintelligible and held up a block as if showing off her masterpiece.
Ghost found himself smiling beneath his mask, an unfamiliar warmth spreading through his chest. He wasn't used to this feelingâthis softness. It was alien to him, yet he couldn't deny the tiny spark of joy Lola brought into the room.
The poker game was postponed as the men took turns entertaining Lola. She giggled at Gaz's funny faces, clapped along with Soap's silly songs, and stared wide-eyed at Price's stories. But it was Ghost who seemed to captivate her the most. She crawled over to him, tugging at his pant leg until he picked her up.
Simon held her awkwardly at first, unsure of what to do. But as Lola nestled into his arms, a sense of calm washed over him. She looked up at him with those big, innocent eyes, and for a moment, all the chaos and darkness in his life faded away.
He still didn't understand children, and they still confused him. But holding Lola, Simon began to see a glimmer of hope. Maybe, just maybe, there was a place for a bit of light in his shadowed world.
Needless to say, after that eye-opening experience, Simon quickly became attached to the loveable child. He tells your sibling to call on their work days if they need a babysitter, claiming he's just trying to help lift the burden. Family helps family, after all.
Wrong!!
In reality, that man is completely smitten by Lola. Loves her to death. The moment he gets free time Simon is calling up your sibling, asking if they need any help, maybe needing a break from the child for a while and if Simon gets the okay, he's speeding to pick up Lola and whisking her away to your home.
Simon drops everything for her. In the middle of a workout? Give him 5 minutes. He's a fresh man, ready to play dinosaurs. Hell, he doesn't even know what playing dinosaurs is besides the fact Lola loves t-rex and being chased in her green dinosaur onesie. He went as far as to buy countless toys and books for Lola to play with in his home office, no less! Her favorite story books are tucked away in his desk, burying the paperwork he was supposed to have done for Price.
If Lola throws a tantrum with you, he immediately gives you a side-eye. What did you do to make the princess unhappy?
The man absolutely adores that cute muffin, and you couldn't be more shocked. Simon "Ghost" Riley, your husband, who refused to think about children, was now wrapped around your tiny niece's finger! Heck, she's practically your kid now, especially since Lola sleeps in between the two of you, cuddling up to Simon contently.
Simon treats Lola like she is his own child, so imagine his heartbreak when your sibling gives you two the news that they're going to be visiting home for a while. He's distraught, already missing the tiny ball of life, moping about your shared home putting away Lola's toys when suddenly an idea rings in his head.
His beautiful, hardworking doll can give him a child.
âĄ! I have a lot of drafts, and this was one. My writing is all funky and all over the place bc it's written between being awake and having no sleep!! I have more stuff I want to post, and I might continue this.
#simon ghost riley x reader#call of duty#cod x reader#ghost x you#simon ghost riley#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost x reader#simon riley
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