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echobx · 2 months

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Timeloop - JJ Maybank × fem!reader part 2

summary: y/n meets JJ for the first time and she doesn't know that it will turn her whole life upside down, literally

warnings: none

word count: 1k

author's note: this is so short but I promise I have a vision. pls be patient with me 😭

masterlist part 1

There's a certain type of person in this world who only thinks of themselves, only wishes the best for their own good, not caring about anyone else, ever. And no matter how much I pride myself to not be this person, my actions have made me into a person like that. Selfish. Egotistical. Narcissistic, maybe.

It starts on a Tuesday, perfect sunshine, warm, bearable 72 °F with a light breeze that is blowing through the trees next to our new house. My room is filled with boxes, most of which contain stuff that I won't even need here. Too warm for that. But I spend my day unpacking, anyway. It's a fresh start, and my parents could have picked a way worse place to live than the Outer Banks.

“Y/n, we're going out for dinner. Come on down!” My mom yells from the foot of the stairs, and I quickly grab my phone and my headphones before running downstairs to meet her. It's just my dad, my mom and my little sister. We left the rest of the family behind, not that I am looking forward to seeing them again at Thanksgiving…

“Can you take the headphones off, honey? We're trying to have dinner,” my dad complains after we sat down and a girl around my age hands us each a menu.

“Hi, I'm Kiara, I'll be your waitress for the night. Welcome to the Wreck,” she says, with a forced smile. “Just call me over when you're ready to order.” And as quickly as she appeared, she's gone again. My eyes follow her inside the establishment, where she starts to talk to a group of boys. One of them turns his head to look at me. Tall, blonde, muscly but not scary looking. And as quickly as his gaze was on me, it's gone again.

After dinner, we make our way out of the restaurant, and while my dad pays, I turn to look back at the boys. They are still just hanging out in a corner, joking around and not paying any mind to the people around them. I like how careless they are, how free.

“Honey?” my mom speaks up and rips me out of my thoughts, pulling me with her towards the door and away from the boys.

The next day, I wake up with a headache. My diary is lying on my face and I have ink stains on my fingers.

A shower helps with the stains and lifts my headache just enough to let me survive breakfast, so I think. But my mother has different ideas.

All morning, she keeps asking me why I was so interested in those boys the night prior, and I really don't have a good answer for her. Maybe because they didn't have parents around them all the time. Maybe the fact that they seemed somewhat mysterious still. Maybe, just maybe, I had, for the first time, actually found someone interesting with a single look, and not because I had to dissect their personality to find the bits that complimented my own.

“I don't know, mom. I don't even know who they are. Can you please let it go,” I huff after she posed another question.

“Fine. Did you finish with your room?” she asks instead, and I sigh in relief.

“Yes. Well… I only need a few poster strips and stuff to decorate, but I'll go buy something later.”

“Sounds lovely,” my dad notes, his eyes solely fixed on his tablet while reading the paper.

“Anything new in the world?” I ask and take another bite of my toast.

“Nothing too important. You can read it yourself if you'd download the app,” he replies.

“Oh no, she can't. Y/n has too many pictures of ugly men on her phone. No storage for news,” my little sister laughs loudly, and I wish to sink down into the core of our planet earth. As if having a five year younger sister isn't already punishment enough. That's also not true. I love my sister, but she also drives me crazy with her 11-year-old brain.

“I'll read it later on my laptop,” I say and my dad just nods.

Getting out of the house feels like finally being able to breathe again. I have learned to take my diary with me everywhere I go, not wanting to have last year's incident repeated where my sister took my diary to school and read it aloud to all of her friends and word had gotten around and soon after every teenager in my area had known my secrets. And not even the funny ones. No, my sister had decided to only share the most embarrassing part of my life. For example the fact that I follow a strict protocol when talking to anyone, even my closest friends at the time. And they all had made fun of me, or mocked me or just called me all kinds of vile things because of it.

But that doesn't matter now because this is a new start. I'll find better friends. Preferably ones who I don't have to pretend for. Ones that don't make me feel the need to script out conversations long before they happen.

“Woah, easy there, princess,” a voice rips me out of my thoughts, firm hands grasping my shoulders. “You good? You nearly ran into that shelf.”

“I'm fine, thank you,” I mumble before picking up my head, blinking twice, and a third time. He's even prettier from up close. Disheveled blonde hair falling into his face that is adorned by the bluest eyes I have ever seen. Perfectly matched to his pointy nose and the pink lips.

His eyebrows furrow and I look away, hearing him clear his throat and feeling him drop his hands.

“Thank you for that,” I mumble and smile while looking down, too scared that I might get lost if I look at him for too long.

“Yeah, it's no problem, at all,” he drags out his words and takes a step back. “Just be careful next time.”

I nod, and he's gone, but I'm still nodding. Fate isn't something in my area of expertise. I have never had any luck of any sort whatsoever. But running into him the day after seeing him for the first time- Maybe there truly is something out there that plays our cards, and it played mine just right.

please don't copy and/or post my work onto other platforms! ~e©ho

taglist: @redhead1180 @spideysimpossiblegirl @drwstarkeyy @princessmaybank @ijustwantttoread @kys4-20 @immyowndefender @julczimocarz @m2m2m2 @th3eternalersi @chiaraanatra @yourmumstoy

#jj maybank #obx #my writing #outer banks #obx fanfiction #jj maybank x you #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank x y/n #jj maybank fanfic #~fanfiction #~timeloop

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strangermarvelss · 1 year

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class of '86- e.m

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Female!Reader

Summary: you receive eddie’s diploma for him after his death

Warnings: angst, crying, angry reader, classmates being dickholes, mentions of blood and injuries, mentions of drug use, allusions to sex, wayne being a sweetie, not-so happy ending

Word Count: 4.8k

Request?: No

A/N: howdy! i am back with another one shot that has been on my mind since around august of last year which is insane, and since it is grad szn i thought it was appropriate to share now. slowly getting back into writing so i appreciate the patience. also note: i do not have any current plans to make a part two to this story, so please don’t bombard me with requests for it if you don’y mind :) enjoy! -sava

You have the same nightmare.

Every. Single. Night.

Every night you find yourself back in the upside down, Dustin hot on your tail as you rush over to the field in the darker dimensions version of the Forrest Hills Trailer Park, the body of the man you’d loved for several years lying on the ground as bites liter his body. Blood pooled in his mouth as he struggles for a steady breath, eyes wide as tears gather inside. You dove right down to him, scraping your knee as you clutched onto his figure and clung to him for dear life, your own breathing becoming unsteady as panic filled your entire nervous system.

You will never forget the scared look in his beautiful brown eyes, the ones you found so much comfort in for years as they shined in the bright yellow sunlight during the summers in Hawkins, or how the lights of the colorful stage lights at the Hideout would reflect off of him and enhance his performance in way. You’ll never forget the scared look on his face turning into joy when he saw you, trying to play it cool for a split second and put on a brave persona for you and his little lost sheep he helped bring to the right people.

You absolutely will never forget feeling his breath becoming more shallow as you held him, and how he was reassuring you and Dustin during his final moments. Holding you tight and looking at you lovingly until his grip on your hand loosened and his breathing coming to a halt. You felt you heart break into a million piece when his eyes glossed over and lost the feeling of his heartbeat, letting a violent scream rip through you as the pieces clicked together in your head. The love of your life was gone and there was nothing you could do to bring him back.

Dustin held you as you sobbed, his silent tears creating a puddle on your shirt as he let you grieve and process your own emotions about the matter. Later on he told you he wanted you to have your moment, that he felt bad about grieving him in front of you since you’d known him longer than he did, which made you emotional all over again while reassuring him it was okay to feel the bad feelings and holding him like he did with you as he finally showed you how messed up loosing Eddie had made him, breaking your heart all over again.

The two of you stayed in the Upside Down for a while, not wanting to abandon Eddie and leave him behind along with the rest of the fucked up dimension he would be stuck in. You tried to drag his body out, pulling him towards his trailer, but Dustin tried his best to reason with you, even thought his head wasn’t in the best place either. It was ultimately Steve Harrington of all people to help knock some sense into you, with Robin and Nancy quickly following behind him as they joined you once again.

You’ll never forget the look of pity that covered their faces as they looked to Eddie’s body on the ground below you, then shooting you a sympathetic look as they instantly put everything together.

You will never forget the night your life changed forever.

Smoothing the hem of your sundress out, you take a look at yourself in the mirror of your bedroom, trying your best to put on a brave face for the events that would take place today. Any senior who was enrolled in Hawkins High School before the bell rang on the last day before spring break was getting a diploma, failing grades or not. They delayed the ceremony until after a lot of the bigger messes from the “earthquake” cleared, with the people in charge wanting to try and have a happy occasion for the town to celebrate for a change, giving all the tragedies that the town has faced over the past 3 years. They thought it was vital and needed to attempt to paint Hawkins as a happy town once again.

This meant that Eddie Munson, your Eddie, would be getting a diploma too. The school called Wayne directly to tell him the news, asking if he wanted to come by the high school sometime within the next couple of weeks to pick up the certificate instead of making it a public occasion. If you weren’t by the phone when it happened, you knew Wayne would’ve agreed, having lost his surrogate son and still wrapping his head around the entire situation. But you convinced him that it should be done at the public ceremony with the other students. Eddie had made it a point to actually graduate this year, and he deserved to be part of the ceremony like everyone else.

You knew going into that suggestion he would ask you to accept it on Eddie’s behalf, with half the people in Hawkins still giving Wayne a mix of hateful and sympathetic looks, as he still had matters to attend to. You on the other hand? You rarely left the house, only for groceries and the occasional meet up with Dustin. Watching someone you both admire die in front of you bonds you for life, and you wanted to be there for him and vice versa. The rest of your friends…you rarely saw, sticking to the comfort of your home as you were still coping with the stages of grief. They understand, not having lost someone so intimately like that, aside from Nancy loosing her best friend, Barb. If there was anyone besides Dustin you talked with, it was her.

Opening the door to your bedroom, you walk down the hallway and shovel a few necessities in your purse before grabbing your keys. You exit the trailer, locking the door before walking down to the new trailer Wayne was given as compensation for well…his other one being split in half. Knocking on the door three times, you take a deep breath as you wait for him to come outside and greet you. You could feel the nerves rising up, sending a weird feeling through your stomach as you thought about the different possibilities of how this could go. In a hopeful scenario, you would walk on stage and snatch the diploma right out of Principal Higgins’ hand, then quickly run off the football field after giving the other students the bird, just as Eddie said he would do back before spring break. But you knew you had to remain professional and kind, for Wayne’s sake.

The creak of the door makes you look up, seeing Wayne step out of the house with his light blue button-up shirt on and worn down slacks that you can only assume he’d owned for years now. This was the most dressed up you’ve seen him in the years you’ve known him through Eddie, with t-shirts with jeans and his work uniform for his nights at the plant being the only two versions you’d been used to. Smiling, you take a step back and walk down the steps of the small concrete porch he’d managed to create, trying his best to replicate the old trailer as much as possible. He meets you at the bottom of the few steps, extending an arm to give you a side hug. You flash him a half smile before returning the gesture, taking in the scent of soap and mint before pulling away.

“You clean up pretty nice Wayne,” you tease, slightly chuckling a bit. He smiles, shaking his head.

“You hush,” he tells you, pointing at you before pointing towards his truck. The two of you walk over, throwing open the passenger door and carefully climbing inside.

“I like that dress,” he tells you as he gets in the driver’s seat, his slight southern accent creeping out with each word. “I don’t think I’ve seen you wear many dress in all the years I’ve known ‘ya. Mainly just some of Eddie’s old band shirts and that Hellfire shirt he made.”

You can’t help but laugh at his words, knowing he is absolutely right. It was never something you did often, just on the occasional date with Eddie, prom, and your own graduation back in ’84. Nodding, you smooth out the skirt of your dress before turning to him as he starts the engine. “Yeah, these never were really my style. Hell, the last time I wore this Eddie and I were making out in the back of his van at Lover’s Lake last summer.”

Thinking back to the memory, you can’t help but let your smile spread from cheek to cheek, replaying how his ring-clad hands always kept trying to sneak inside the skirt of the dress in order to get to “the goods”, as he referred to it. He had tied his hair back into a low bun, something he knew that always made you swoon and completely weak in the knees. He’d packed a bunch of both of your favorite snacks and called it a picnic, which you enjoyed nonetheless. A couple of beers he snuck out of the fridge when Wayne wasn’t looking and a couple of edibles in your system, it quickly lead to Eddie shutting the van doors and pulling orgasm after orgasm from your body in the back part of the van.

You remember Eddie being upsetting about being held back once again, starting to look down on himself and doubt his ability to ever cross that finish line. You knew you had to step in with reassurance, because hearing him talk poorly about himself always made you feel hurt. So you suggested dedicating a day to spend together, from sunrise to sunrise the very next day. You told him you could do whatever his heart desired, within rationality of course, and you would be there no matter what. No negative thoughts in sight or rainy days, just the two of you curled up in his van and eating, laughing, and being at the center of bliss thanks to each other’s company.

The smile is quickly wiped from your face, snapping back to reality and letting the loneliness sink back into your heart. You visibly frown, turning your head away from Wayne as you felt a pricking feeling tickle the backs of your eyes. Wayne continues the journey to the high school, letting the silence fall comfortably in the car to give you some peace. Wayne usually wasn’t a big talker, even before the loss of his nephew, so it didn’t feel awkward to just let the sound of the motor running in his old pickup as the two of you let your thoughts go wild inside your heads, thinking about the man that was just the topic of conversation.

You feel the truck halt to a stop, snapping out of the far off land your mind wandered to. Looking over to Wayne, he puts the truck in park and opens his door. Looking our the front windscreen, you see the old brick building of Hawkins High School, a placed where you used to wander about for four consecutive years not that long ago. You used to bring Eddie lunch on the occasional off day you had from work, taking a moment to see the old stomping grounds and visit your favorite guy in the world. Now being in front of the building left a bad taste in your mouth. Knowing how much Eddie hated coming to school, especially without you. Dealing with the constantly bullying from all the kids that had already reached their peak and pushing past that typical high school bullshit until he took his dying breath. It angered you to your core.

Finally stepping out of Wayne’s truck, you follow him around the side of the school and down the path that leads to the football field. You hold your hands together in front of you, wringing your fingers as you try and settle the nerves that reside in your lower stomach. You were bound to run into the people who saw you at your most vulnerable state, knowing Nancy and Robin were graduating and Steve and the kids would be in the crowd alongside you and Wayne. As bad as it is to admit, the only people you’re comfortable enough seeing on a regular basis are Wayne and Dustin, so having to finally face everyone else sent waves of nausea through your system.

Making your way into the stands, you make eye contact with Principal Higgins, who shoots you a sympathetic look before chatting amongst his colleagues once more, probably talking about you if you had to assume. Scoffing, you take your seat next to Wayne, trying your best not to be seen by much of the crowd. Wayne takes notice of your nerves and places a reassuring hand on your shoulder, making you smile softly.

“So uh, did they give you a run down of what will happen with getting his diploma?” He asks.

“Um, yeah. I had a meeting with Higgins and a few other faculty members and they’re doing the memorial diplomas first, then the rest of the graduating class. Everything is going to be alphabetical, so I’ll go up towards the middle of that-“

You’re distracted for a moment, stopping mid-sentence as you see a familiar hairstyle bobbing through the crowd, with a hoard of kids trailing behind him. Steve Harrington turns, seemingly yelling at the kids to stop playing around and find a place to sit, before looking out at the crowd you found yourself in. You feel your body run cold as his eyes lock on yours, as if you body was plunged into a frozen lake. He waves at you, smiling for a moment before watching his brain piecing together why you’re here, which causes him to send a pitiful but sympathetic look your way.

Cautiously, you wave, watching the kids’ heads turn to look where Steve was and copying the older man’s expression. All but Dustin, who seems very happy to see your face out in the world like he’s been trying to convince you to do for a few weeks now. But the smile quickly fades when his eyes wander over to Wayne, guilt filling his eyes as he quickly turns away. You have told the boy several times that he is not at fault and shouldn’t beat himself up over what happened, but it just makes you sound like a hypocrite for not taking your own advice.

Finally willing yourself to look away after watching them take seats a few rows in front of you, you hear the football stadium speakers begin playing the instrumental music you recognized from your own graduation, peaking down at the field and seeing the green caps and gowns flow out in two uniformed lines. Taking a deep breath, you stand from your position and walk towards the stairs of the bleachers and stand by the faculty member that would lead you and the rest of the family members that are collecting other student’s diplomas who also couldn’t be here in person.

Watching the graduates take their seats, a tapping sound comes from the makeshift stage they set up on the field, watching Principal Higgins smile out to the crowd before looking down at the notes he placed on the podium.

“Good afternoon Hawkins High graduating class of 1986,” he welcomes, pausing as cheers erupt from the about to be former students, as well as the proud families situated on the bleachers. “You have come so far within the past four years, and given the circumstances that our town has faced, it is truly an honor to be standing in front of you all today as you start the next chapter of your lives. Each time you walked through the doors of Hawkins High School, you were determined and dedicated to learning and creating memories that will last a lifetime, so it is time to keep those close to your heart as you say goodbye to those high school years one last time.”

If only everyone who went here had lasting memories, you thought to yourself. It seemed as if he was pandering towards the popular crowd, speaking directly to those who experienced the “ultimate American high school experience”, which made the nausea settled in your stomach even worse. There are kids you know for certain that are in this very crowd of green caps and gowns who did not have the best time, having gotten bullied and ridiculed for the past four years while the administration turned a blind eye. Or there were others who have lost more than they could’ve imagined, and the painful memories of their high school years will stay with them in the darkest of ways.

“Before we begin the speeches and the passing out of diplomas, I want to take this time for the families of those who unfortunately did not make it to this ceremony today. The students who gave their life for this town have been such an incredible presence to not only our school, but our community. So to the families of these students, my sincerest apologies for your losses, and we would like to serve you with the diplomas that they worked so hard to earn over the years.”

Turning back, you look up at Wayne from where you were once seated, watching him hold the tissue close to his chest as he gently began to cry. He knew his nephew was not the most liked person, and you knew he just wished Eddie could be here to prove each and every person that ever doubted him wrong.

“Jason Carver,” Higgins says into the microphone. Scoffing, you keep your attention away from the stage for Eddie’s sake. Of all the people who couldn’t make it here today, you were the least bit sympathetic towards what happened to Jason after all those years of lies and physical violence he showed your Eddie. You also didn’t need to see his older brother, Jake, whom you graduated with a couple years back, act like all macho and pretend he is still the king of the school…even two years later.

“Chrissy Cunningham.”

You turn back to the stage, watching Chrissy’s mother walk up the stairs as she weeps with every step she takes. Taking the diploma from him, she and Higgins exchange a quick hug before another faculty member escorts her off the stage. You felt bad that Chrissy was caught in the crossfire of everything that went down. Being Vecna’s first victim in the recent attacks. But what really hurt was knowing that from the moment she was taken by the slimy creep, Eddie still blamed himself, wishing he knew sooner so he could’ve saved her from all this mess.

“Barbra Holland.”

You glance over at Nancy, who you spotted as you walked to your current position. Her big round eyes grew with sadness, looking down to her lap as you watch the guilt consume her. Yet another person you felt for, because if anyone would’ve been able to stop something from happening, it would be Nancy. At the same time, however, you think the loss made her the ferocious fighter that she is today, the anger and pain of losing Barb driving her to the strength and courage she has shown each time this shit keeps coming back, which you applaud.

As Patrick’s name is called, she looks back up and out to the crowd, fixating her big blue eyes right on you. Smiling ever so slightly, you through a gentle wave her way as she does the same, her dimples creeping onto her features as she shoots you a toothless smile. Maybe there was room to have some peace and happiness come out of this day-

“Eddie Munson,” Higgins says stalely in the microphone. The entire stadium falls silent, compared to how the other kids got cheers and claps. The quiet is all consuming, on top of hundreds of pairs of eyes glue onto your figure, staring blankly at your frozen figure.

Making your way to the stage, you carefully take each step one at a time, taking a deep breath in before walking towards Principal Higgins as his arm extends with the diploma in hand. You can almost hear Eddie’s voice edge you on, gaining more and more of a sense of pride as you inch further. “Almost there,” “Third time’s the charm,” you imagine him saying to you, a wide happy grin stretched on his cheeks as the victory of finally graduating reaches its destination.

“Who let the freak’s girlfriend on the field?” you hear someone ask from the sea of graduates. Ignoring it, you reach your hand out, mere inches from touching the rolled paper tied in a bright red bow. Now is the moment everything has led to, all the bullying and negative thoughts and perceptions Eddie endured within his last 6 years. This is what he’s been craving to achieve since last summer. This is-

“DING, DONG! THE FREAK IS DEAD”

“DEADIE MUNSON, DEADIE MUNSON!”

You halt. Frozen mid step as ice floods your system once again. A stabbing pain begins permeating throughout your chest, trying your best to tune the horrible chants and phrases out before the words are replaced with a long ringing in your ears. It feels hard to breathe as you stand there, all the eyes of the administration, parents, and graduates looking at you like some form of entertainment, waiting on the edge of their seats to see what your next move will be. It felt embarrassing, which you could only assume was the goal. They had no problem continuing to tease Eddie, even after his death.

Finally finding the strength again, you take a deep breath before turning around, eyes locking on the podium as the rage inside you begins to bubble. Principal Higgins immediately steps to the side, the fearful look in his eyes telling you he had no issue with what you were about to do. Hell, now it made you think he was scared of Eddie after all those years instead of just simply hating him.

You plant yourself in front of the stand, looking out at all the laughing bodies that fill the stands and the chairs splayed out on the grass field. Their immaturity was telling, acting as if they weren’t taking the next step into adulthood in just a few minutes. There were only a few who didn’t join in with the laughter, which made your heart feel something for the first time in a while. Nancy was looking at you sympathetically, as did Robin and Jeff within the sea of green below you. As for in the crowd, Steve’s eyebrows furrowed as a frown rests on his lips, looking over at the gaggle of children who were also silently sending your their respects. Having them by your side in the crowd was giving you some much needed courage, allowing for you to take another breath before feeling ready to finally air your grievances.

“How dare you,” you say quietly into the microphone. The crowd is once again silent, the careless dickheads that were just taunting you freezing in place and stopping their sentences. You don’t care about the dirty looks the faculty members on stage with you are shooting you, the rage inside your chest is bubbling faster and faster made it impossible to let the cruelty slide.

“How dare you all sit there and talk so poorly about someone who is no longer here. Each and every one of you have no idea the pain Eddie’s friends and family have been through with his loss, and you sitting there and making jokes of it all is the cruelest thing any of you have done to that man,” you tell him, looking around the crowd and singling out those you know are responsible. “You all didn’t know Eddie for who he truly was. Instead you judged him for who you thought he was because of his looks, or his surface level interests. Like god forbid someone prefers to go crazy over metal music and a fantasy game instead of pop hits and sports games. Eddie never believed in everyone liking the same stuff, he embraced his interests and bonded with people who were different like him, all because you assholes judged him for years and made him think that, for the longest time, it wasn’t okay.”

“You have no idea what kinds of things Eddie gave for this town. A town that hated him and made his life a living hell for nearly twenty one years. All the shit he went through as a child, all the humiliation you all put him through in middle and high school. All because he didn’t conform to the bullshit suburban standard all of you were brainwashed into thinking was okay thanks to your parents, who are sitting in the crowd and judging him alongside the rest of this graduating class,” you pause, taking a breath and wiping a tear away. “Eddie gave his life trying to save this town, wanting to prove to you all that he wasn’t a coward or that he wasn’t some evil being you all made him out to be. He was the most amazing person I’ve ever met and I almost feel sorry for you all that you never got to know Eddie for who he really was. He protected and cared so deeply for the people he was closest with and…and I miss him so much. He should’ve been here to accept this diploma, to show you all that he could do it and laugh in the faces of all who doubted him. But instead, I’m here accepting my dead boyfriend’s diploma, so I’ll leave you with my final thoughts.”

“I hope you all know that your years of torment will come back to bite you. Good luck on whatever endeavors life throws your way, and go fuck yourselves,” you spit out into the microphone. Feeling like it was the most appropriate thing to do, you turn to Principal Higgins, flip him the bird, and run off the stage. As you walk towards the exit of the stadium, you spot Wayne rising from his spot in the stands, nodding with a smile as he begins his journey to the front gate, your purse in his hand.

The heavy weight that strained your breathing has finally lifted from your chest, the relief of getting your true feelings off your plate and expressing that so openly has you walking with so much more confidence and ease. You didn’t care what the people in the stadium thought about you are your impromptu speech, because the students of Hawkins High, and a majority of the citizens of Hawkins, were no longer of importance to you, not that they were that much to begin with. You had Wayne, Dustin, and eventually the rest of your friends now that you’re starting to deal with the grief in a healthy way.

Smiling at Wayne, he hands you your purse and begins walking with you out of the gate, his arm around your shoulder as you quickly walk towards his truck. It made your heart warm to see Wayne’s approval of the scene you caused on stage, knowing the fear of his disapproval has already been bubbling in your stomach for the past week. But for a reserved man, he sure did like to see a show of things every once in a while and have a good laugh about it later. Hopping into his truck, you buckle your seatbelt and hand Wayne Eddie’s diploma, smiling as you see the proof of his high school success sitting right in front of you.

“Now what would Eddie want to do to celebrate?” I think we should honor him by spending the rest of the day basking in the accomplishment in the truest form of Eddie.”

“Well I can think of a few things, but those are definitely not on my list,” Wayne jokes, making you chuckle.

“How about going over to the music store and buying a couple of tapes? Then we can stop and get a six-pack at the store and a few snacks and just spend the rest of the day doing nothing. I think that’s the tamest thing he would do,” you suggest.

With a nod, Wayne changes the gear of the truck and pulls out of his space and down the parking lot of the high school, entirely missing a long haired shadow peer from around the back of the school’s brick building.

#eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson angst #stranger things #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things angst #steve harrington #wayne munson #nancy wheeler #robin buckley #dustin henderson #the party #fanfic #fanfiction #angst #strangermarvelss

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pokenerd98 · 2 years

Note

Please give me any and all headcanons you can make for a gender neutral reader and my babygirl Guzma. Just general romance headcanons but of you throw in some mutual „unrequited pining that’s actually requited“ I would be delighted

Thank you for being my VERY first ask! I will certainly try to live up to your expectations! This turned out to be waaaay longer than I anticipated, so I've just focused on Guzma and another HC for the time being! I hope this is okay! Thanks so much again!

Romantic HCs: Guzma and Larry - SFW.

💀 Guzma 💀

As intimidating as this man presents himself to his grunts, and the rest of Alola for that matter, deep inside this capable trainers hard exterior, is a soft gooey centre that only surfaces when he is around you. In private, though. He won't admit it, but sometimes it does slip out when you're out in public together. The occasional soft kiss on the back of your hand without realising, or cinching your waist closer to him when around others. He'll quickly realise what he's done though, and relax his grip.

Patience is key with Guzma. Unfamiliar with reciprocated romantic love, you'll often catch him holding his breath and tensing ever so slightly when you take his hand into yours, and press your lips gently across his grazed knuckles. Your lips will linger, savouring his touch, whilst he simply doesn't know what to do with himself, other than shift awkwardly from side to side and gaze over at you with a twinkle in his eye. After a few moments of silence, he'll finally exhale. Emotion will swell deep inside him as he finally snakes his hand into yours.

He will do just about anything to have you close by at all times. He may not find himself wanting to completely abandon his Big Bad Boss image, but that won't stop him from internally yearning for your closeness. And you feel privileged to be able to see the gentler side of him, whether that be him tracing his finger tips over your waist, planting little pecks on your forehead or simply asking if you're okay after a long day. You can see he is trying, and that makes you swell with pride.

If you should find yourself sleeping beside him, like dozens of times before, you know he is a bit of a duvet hog. Perhaps this might be his pathetic little way of getting you to cuddle him close. You often find yourself being the big spoon in this situation, although it doesn't both you. You can feel his muscles relax beneath you, and him breathing a soft sigh of contentment. Sometimes you catch him sleepily nuzzling his face into your side of the blanket, if you got up in the night for whatever reason. It was simple things like this, that made loving him so effortless.

But despite what a complicated mess Guzma is, he genuinely wants to be with you as much as humanly possible. Whether that be accompanying you to Battle challenges, or simply grabbing a bite to eat, he doesn't care. As long as he gets to spend that time with you. He's even made a passing comment about you shacking up with him permanently in Po Town. Despite its reputation, you know you'd be just as happy there with him.

💼 Larry 💼

Larry never invisioned himself wanting to settle down with a s/o in his early 40s, but you came around and changed that almost straight away. He's finding the transition from a life long bachelor to a spoken for man, quite difficult; his routine quite literally flipped upside down. But as hard as this is for him, he is willing to make that change, because he's never felt this way about a person before. About you. And although emotionally speaking, he comes across as cold and distant, this is just one of the ways his love speaks to you. You know he wouldn't accommodate for just anyone, and this makes you feel special.

You find yourself sliding into Larry's monotonous daily routine without much fuss, knowing that compromise was tough for him. It worked out quite well that you started a little later than him, as it gave you time to show your appreciation for him by easing his morning chores. He often found you cooking eggs and bacon on the stove in one of his old shirts, when he eventually trudged down from the shower. Something that etched a small smile on this lips. They say that the way to a man's heart is through their stomach, and this certainly proved true with Larry. Setting his breakfast down in front of him, you could just see his face light up with excitement. He wasted no time devouring every last bite of deliciousness that you graciously prepared for him. Once finished, he would carefully pat his lips with a crumpled napkin, before taking your hand into his, and offering up a lingering kiss as thanks.

Time was of the essence in Larry's world. You hardly saw him most days because of his day job, and commitments to both the Medali Gym and The Elite Four. So the short time spent in the mornings together, and those long awaited evenings were precious. Sometimes he wouldn't wander through the door until late because Geeta had him working overtime. Something he was used to, and quite frankly didn't mind, but knew this might sadden you. He'd often make up for this by immediately abandoning his briefcase and suit jacket by the front door, loosening his tie, and slumping himself next to you on the sofa, his arms snaking around you for comfort. You could feel the tension in his touch as he tried his best to be gentle, the day clearly having took it out of him. You'd return his affection with gentle kisses along his jaw, before pulling a blanket over you both and nestling into his chest. He rarely spoke of his work day, but that's just how he liked it. When he was spending time with you, work was the last thing he wanted to bore you with.

#pokemon x reader #gym leader larry #larry x reader #guzma x reader #team skull guzma #big bad boss guzma #pokemon headcanons #pokemon larry #guzma pokemon

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harusaki-hugo · 1 year

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I fight with alien once.

Fandom: Tokyo Revengers+slightly hetalia

Characters: Sano Manjiro , Ryuguji Ken, Sano Shinichiro, Mitsuya Takashi + GN!Reader

Synopsis: Tokrev boys with s/o who keep saying weird thing but this time involving fighting alien. Honestly it's a crackfic.

Your boyfriend know your habit of randomly start telling the story of your life, it's a cute habit honestly and he adore you about this because now he know more about you. But sometimes it's can be confusing when your stories start getting weird and make no sense but he love you too much that he keep listening to your stories, that's it untill one day you suddenly blurted out; "I fight with aliens once."

Sano Manjiro;-

He looks at you with a raised eyebrows, half eating taiyaki between his lips as he turn around to fully look at you.

"Really?"-"Really!! It's a noppera type of aliens."

The type who listens to your story before falling asleep, no matter where you are if you start talking expect him fall asleep halfway through it.

But don't worry he , surprisingly, remember all the story you told him perfectly, no hole in plot at all.

When he in the mode he will ask a detailed question about it.

"So you tell me that you stuck between wall and a hundreds of aliens and the only thing you did are giving them food and entertainment?"-"Yup!"-"Huh, neat."

Actually impressed with the story and wondering when will the aliens attack earth again resulting you smacking him in the head.

Overall; he might be walking red flags but that ain't stopping him being a 10 and great listener to your weird story.

Ken Ryuguji;

Literally sighing heavily and give you the most deadpan expression second to someone you know but still-

"I can accept when you told me about cat talking to you but this too far , honey."-"but drakeeenn!!"-"no, nope , not today."-"I haven't reach the climax where I jump down to the sea."

Okay, he might got interested a bit... scratch that ,man this close pulling his hair on your story.

"I'm sorry, you what?!"-"jumping down from moving space ship and got stranded in deserted island."

Your story keep stressing this man and he don't know what true or fake because you sound so convincing , he started to worry about your childhood.

Start treating you like you have delicate mental health and try helping you get better like man literally show you a good therapist in your area.

Conclusion; Boy is 100/10 but will try to drag you to therapist if you joked about something involving mental health.

Sano shinichiro;

Didn't even bother to look at you as he continue fixing the bike , only humming and nodding at your words.

Man used to weird thing that he immune to your weird story.

"and then, grandpa Rome appears and start singing."-"grandpa Rome sound hot."

He have Mikey as his brother and Izana as adopted brother, he can handle you

-he handle it like a champ-

He didn't even bat an eye when you told him you broke someone nose and that man is the United States of America himself.

-he just thought you punch a foreigner.

Conclusion; I love this man so much that I won't stop crying, please give him the live he deserves.

Mitsuya Takashi;

This man is a saint, like boy have patience over nine thousand I can't-

"wow, that's mean thanks to you we live in peace."-"stop it! you make me blush!"

He know exactly what to say to make you happy.

"then Italy start drawing on their face."-"magnificent, did you help him?"-"heck yeah!!"

this man to precious that I physically crying inside out upside down.

He just to perfect I can't write-

He a great listener and know exactly what to said.

Didn't care how weird your story was, he loves hearing your voice.

Overall;this man is walking green flag but I will slam my feet on the break so I can stop for him.

♾️/10.

I haven't sleep for a day and I'm high on caffeine, please send help.

#tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers #x reader #ken ryuguji #sano manjiro #sano shinichiro #mitsuya takashi #sano manjiro x reader #sano shinichiro x reader #draken #ryuguji ken x reader #mitsuya x reader

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couldntbedamned · 1 year

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A Sweet Escape (To Better Days)

Pairing: Stephen Strange/Reader, Strange Supreme/Reader, Defender Strange/Reader, Supreme Strange/Reader, Sinister Strange/Reader

Summary: While it at first it weighed heavily on her, the knowledge that five of the most powerful beings in the multiverse were with her instead of protecting all of reality, she couldn’t deny the thrill that also came with that. The universe truly revolved around her. Her loves revolved around her and everything she was, she had, she did was for them in return.

Warnings: Kidnapping, Obsession, Sexual Content, Spanking, Blatant disregard for responsibilities to multiple realities

Note: This isn’t really a prequel to There's Only Butterflies (Take Me Away), so much as it’s a companion piece, I suppose. In my mind they simply go together.

Stephen was her first.

It wasn’t as if she’d been waiting for Mr. Right, marriage, or anything so sentimental. There had been plenty of opportunities, but sex just hadn’t seemed important. She had her vibrators and her imagination. Men, from what she’d experienced, were simply more trouble than they were worth.

Until Stephen.

Stephen had flown - literally - into her life and everything she’d known had turned upside down.

She’d been captivated by him. He was intelligent, charming, handsome, and just a little bit mean. Which would be a red flag to anyone else but just set tingles afire deep in her belly.

Why he’d settled on her of all people, she didn’t know, but after the first time he’d taken her, moved in her, filled her, she’d decided it didn’t matter.

Sex with Stephen was better than any orgasm she’d wrung from herself with her vibrators. He was unrelenting, demanding her pleasure several times over before he’d take his own. Passing out from sheer pleasure? Yeah, apparently not something that only happened in books.

She lived with him in the Sanctum, days and nights filled with time spent together reading, talking, fucking. He could be fairly useless with words - especially the three words most people held above all. There was something in his eyes that told her he wanted to say the words but couldn’t stop from saying the wrong thing or just saying nothing at all. It never mattered to her; his actions said more than simple words ever could. Why insist on silly little words when he bared his soul to her in every way that truly mattered?

He had to dash off to save the world, obviously, but he always came back to her. They’d inevitably end up fucking for hours, as if to reaffirm that he was still alive.

Strange found them, fittingly, she thought, on a chilly and storming Halloween evening.

At first, she thought the ritualistic sex had gone terribly wrong. (Or wonderfully right. What? She was horny and, thanks to the magic, unable to get off until Stephen finished his part of the ritual by finishing inside her.)

“The Runes of Rapitu,” Strange had said, circling around them. He didn’t look well, this version of Stephen. His face was leaner, the circles under his eyes purple and pronounced. Even his Cloak appeared almost feral. “A little on the nose for Samhain, isn’t it?”

Unashamed of his naked form, Stephen stood, conjuring his shields. “This isn’t your universe.”

“I have no universe,” Strange replied. His eyes raked over her nude body as it glistened in the candlelight. “I see you have one, though.”

He studied the runes intently, each flaring to greater life under his gaze, the glow red rather than orange. “What is it you’re hoping to bind?”

Shakily, she fingered the torq around her neck. “A new relic.”

“Allow me to assist you,” Strange said suggested. He caught her gaze and oh how she found herself wanting him! “Or I can simply absorb your magic for my own and continue on my miserable existence. It’s your choice,” he said to her. “But the loss of you would be a tragedy.”

Her? Her and not Stephen, the Sorcerer Supreme?

“You’ve already lost her, haven’t you?” Stephen asked, lowering his shields.

“Yes, and it led to losing everything,” Strange answered, never taking his eyes off of her. “Do not take her for granted, we - your reality - cannot withstand her loss.”

At her nod, Stephen parted the runes and Strange stepped into the circle, divesting himself of his robes as he did so. His Cloak went to join their Cloak off to the side.

Between the two of them, there wasn’t a coherent thought in her head until the ritual was complete. All she’d known was the feel of hands on her, two scarred and shaking and the others elegant and sure along with their cocks taking her, worshiping with her as they imbued magic and protection and strength into the torc and paid their homage to Rapitu. She was little more than a blissed-out, satiated mess, dripping of them both and the newly charmed relic buzzing and warm around her neck when all was said and done. Stephen and Strange surrounded her and took their time bringing her back to herself as she was washed and dried and protected. She woke between them and after kissing Stephen, turned to Strange.

“Stay.”

Months of bliss followed Strange’s arrival into her and Stephen’s world.

Strange touched her whenever the opportunity presented itself - a hand on her shoulder, the small of her back, no touch was ever too small. He kissed her as if doing so could wipe clean the fact that he’d destroyed. an. entire. universe. in the name of some version of her she’d never known.

Stephen, already the most jealous man she’d ever known, had assured her he wasn’t envious of Strange. “He’s me,” Stephen said, watching as Strange devoured her pussy like a man starved of water, drawing out quaking release after quaking release until she couldn’t lift her head in her exhaustion. “How could I possibly be jealous of myself?”

The two of them took turns whenever there was a threat to reality or a day that needed saving. They were skilled enough to hide the differences in front of the outside world… but not to her. She could always tell them apart.

The arrival of another variant, her Defender, came on a bright and sunny day. She was running from an alien invader on a rare trip out of the Sanctum when he appeared like a righteous angel, harnessing the brightness of the sun and saving her life. Who needed the sun when she had her very own Sol ready to slay any demons that might haunt her?

Strange and Stephen were unsure, but her Sol’s devotion to her could not be questioned.

“I was fighting a giant eyeball,” he told them over drinks. “I killed it but there was an interdimensional portal that sucked me through. I don’t know how to get back.” He looked at her, expression soft. “And I don’t know if I even want to.” He’d lost her too, she realized.

“You saved my life,” she said. “As far as I’m concerned, you can stay for as long as you want.”

He couldn’t swap places with the others out in the world since she put her foot down on his hair.

“You’ll break my heart if you cut it,” she pouted playfully. “I like to run my fingers through it.”

He smirked at Stephen and Strange. “I like when you pull it, too.”

He stayed inside the Sanctum with her, keeping her busy whenever Stephen or Strange was away protecting the reality. He was rigid and unyielding in many ways, absolute in his belief that it was his duty to keep her safe and cared for. If he told her to do something, he expected it to be done. And the thing was, his orders were never unreasonable, not really.

The first time he hauled her over his lap, vanished her shorts, and spanked her ass to a cherry red after she’d disobeyed him was… well, it was an experience. And then he’d comforted her, asked how he could help her do the right thing going forward. She hadn’t been angry with him, instead, she’d felt… cherished.

“I will always protect you,” he promised with a tender kiss to her lips that had her near tears all over again. “Even if it’s from yourself.” Then he made love to her, showed her just how good things could be if she stayed good for him, trusted him to take care of her.

At first, she ignored the cracks in the world that started appearing. If her lovers weren’t worried, why should she be?

They were actually more worried than they ever let her know.

Travelers started to appear, those who didn’t belong with voices insistent about the threat of annihilation, of how sacred timelines were diverging and converging. Her lovers were having visions of universes disintegrating into nothing but blackest chaos even as reality tried to re-forge itself again and again. She herself began to dream of losing everything until she was alone in nothingness, far away from her loves.

They were not meant to live in the same reality; she knew that to be true. But surely, they could stand against the inevitability of the multiverse ensuring its own survival at all costs?

Then parts of the population started to vanish, parts of people themselves started to glitch - there was no other word to describe the horror that was looking at someone only to see them turn slightly and be missing an eye or a mouth, replaced only by a void or whatever passed for normal in another reality.

The universe was about to end, and she knew it was because of her, because they’d never leave her.

She planned to run, to leave them because who was she against the fate of the multiverse?

She never got the chance to run. They’d planned, too.

“We’re so sorry, Cielo,” Defender whispered as he bound her in magic so Stephen and Strange could bind her further, sigils appearing on her skin and the world fading around her. “When you wake up, everything will be as it should be, always.”

“Sleep, my love,” Stephen implored. “Sleep and dream of us.”

“We’ll be here with you the whole time; we’ll never leave you.”

The universe she was born into was created over the course of billions, perhaps trillions of years.

It only took her lovers a little over three to create her new one.

She awoke to a world unlike any she’d ever seen or even imagined.

“It’s yours,” Stephen told her. “Everything here is for you.”

“We hope you like it.”

The voice was Stephen’s but new, the cadence unique.

“You’re another Stephen,” she whispered, stunned. He was so similar and so unique among them. She had never seen him clean-shaven, nor a blue Cloak. “How?”

“We’re all Stephen, my Dear,” yet another Stephen said. “That’s how the multiverse works.” His hair was wilder, his goatee grown into a pointed beard. He looked sinister, in a way, though he was undoubtedly, like he said, a Stephen.

“You found a way to stop the incursions?” She asked, looking to her first three. “How? I thought more than one variant couldn’t co-exist in a given reality. The universes have rules!”

Her selfishness had nearly broken her universe, after all.

“That is true,” Strange said. “So, we created a universe where we could make our own rules.”

Something sick settled in her belly. A new universe?

“What about ours?” she asked Stephen. “Are they… what have you done?”

“We’ve repaired the damage we were creating as best we could,” Clean-shaven said. “Some damage was too great in one or two realities, but they’ll have several billion years before they’ll even start to fade.”

“The others are safe now,” Sinister said. “As long as we remain here, they’ll remain safe.”

“And what is here, exactly?”

“A pocket universe,” Defender says. “We exist outside of the multiversal branches and therefore we cannot damage them.”

“And who exactly constitutes ‘we’?” she asked.

“You, and us,” Strange answered, motioning between the five of them. “Just the six of us, together forever.”

She turned and ran, ignoring their calls after her. She pushed open the doors and flung herself out into this new world they’d created, terrified because who did that?

They hadn’t even chased her down, simply let her exhaust herself in this new, remarkably stunning universe they’d created. She’d run through a forest of pure white trees with purple foliage and azure grass and then a field of orange clover that never seemed to end only to find herself at what looked like a safe little cottage. The inside, however, was right where she’d started.

“There’s no running,” the clean-shaven one said when Sinister blocked her exit and Defender embraced her from behind. “Every path will bring you back to us.”

“Don’t lead me to punish you, Cielo. This is our home and you’re safe here.”

“I want to go home,” she insisted. It was part-truth, mostly-lie because how could she ever leave them - even the newest two - but how could she let them abandon their roles?

“You are home,” Strange said. “Your home is here now, with us.”

“This is the only way,” Stephen told her, stepping close and caressing her cheek. “Dearest Love this is the only way.”

She nodded, cautiously.

She ran a few times after that.

It never mattered. They either caught her, or she ended up back where she started. Either way she found herself over Defender’s lap, sobbing as he punished her for running. Then she’d cry in other ways as they demonstrated just how she was theirs.

Supreme, as she thought of the clean-shaven one, was as controlling as her Sol is protective. If no one else was around, he would pick out her clothing, her food, anything. He had to be around her all the time, much like Strange but there was a desperation to it that Strange has never had.

“Isn’t this universe supposed to be about me?” She once asked after his suggestion they visit the beach rather than her offered trip into one of the many cities that existed just for her.

“Do you dislike what we do?” He asked her in response. “Have I displeased you?”

The thing was, he hadn’t. He never did. The clothes he chose for her were inevitably perfect, the food the best she’d ever tasted. Even the books he suggested for her were fantastic reads and as she lay with him massaging (unneeded) sunscreen into her back, she could admit that he was perfect for her.

She was always sure to tell him whenever they were in bed, where he again devoted himself to her pleasure, bringing tidal waves of bliss to crash over her again and again. “You’re so perfect for me.” His eyes would close then, peace stealing across his face at her words, as though they were a benediction.

If ever there was a lost soul in her universe it was her Sinister. The man had spent years searching for any kind of a happy ending, any scenario where he wasn’t miserable and alone and he looked at her as though she were his salvation. When he wasn’t overwhelming her, that was.

“I’ve searched for you,” he told her one afternoon when her other Stephens were away re-enforcing the protective barriers of their pocket universe. “It wasn’t just happiness I searched for, my Love. It was for happiness with you.”

“I suppose you’ve found me,” she said. He was broken and she didn’t know if she could ever fix him. He, like Supreme and Strange, had destroyed entire universes.

“I have,” he said, stepping closer, hands linked behind his back. It was his default position, she’d learned. “I have and I will never let anything take you away.”

“It’s not like I can ever escape.”

He barked out a harsh laugh but stilled her flinch with a blackened finger under her chin. “We’re your prisoners every bit as much as you’re ours.” He always told her the truth, in his own way.

He leaned in, claimed her lips with his, the scratch of his wild goatee rough against her skin.

He terrified her in a multitude of ways, but he kissed her in the very best of ways. Sex always left her bruised and marked and exhausted but she’d never deny she loved it. His touch was strong, this side of too hard, too much, too wild but every time she found herself pushing back in kind, even seeking out the abandon he offered.

Time was both too short and infinite for her and her beloveds. Her Stephen, her Strange. Her Sinister, her Supreme, and of course, her dearest Defender.

While it at first it weighed heavily on her, the knowledge that five of the most powerful beings in the multiverse were with her instead of protecting all of reality she couldn’t deny the thrill that also came with that. The universe truly revolved around her. Her loves revolved around her and everything she was, she had, she did was for them in return.

They created a universe, rewrote the very rules of all of existence, simply for her. All so they could be with her, forever.

Yes, there were more versions of them, and those sorry souls (to use the phrasing both Sinister and Strange use) were no doubt protecting their respective realities. Her own monitored the multiverse whenever the mood struck them. They watched from their pocket universe, unseen but one occasionally dipping out to offer the briefest yet most crucial of assists before returning and then seeking her out.

“You are our most important reality,” her Defender, her Sol told her.

“But at the cost of trillions?” She once asked helplessly.

Could she be so selfish?

“We can’t go back into our realities without risking even greater casualties,” Stephen said as he helped remove her tunic. “Here, in our home, we are safe.”

“And because we are, so are countless other realities,” Supreme added, kissing down her neck.

“By keeping us here with you,” Sinister whispered against her ear, hand gliding down her front to dip into the waistband of the flowy pants she wore. “You are ensuring the continued survival of the multiverse.”

It was hard to argue with that. And hard to think when Strange was kissing her, coaxing her lips open so he could lick inside. And fuck her Defender was kissing up her bare back.

“Is it so terrible?” Strange pulled back to ask. “A life with the men who worship you, knowing that this life is keeping trillions upon trillions of lives safe?”

Sinister’s fingers busied themselves stroking through her wet folds, dipping in, and teasing.

“Oh, I suppose it’s just my burden to bear.”

They’re five men with the power of gods and yet she is the one who is worshipped.

#doctor strange x reader #doctor strange supreme x reader #defender strange x reader #supreme strange x reader #sinister strange x reader #stephen strange x reader #couldntbedamned fic

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devastator1775 · 3 days

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Anne's Journey: Two eternal Souls And The Lost Daughter - Chapter 01: When her entire world turned upside down

Summary: Anne Brinkman entire world just got turned upside down. Her parents were not her real parents. Well, they are, but they are not her birth parents. She was adopted. Left behind on a doorstep during a stormy night, in a basket with a note and some personal items. Whoever her birth parents are, it was an established fact that they had died not long after leaving Anne behind. Still, Anne can't help but think that something doesn't add up. Too many coincidences, too many easy answers. But, there is nothing that can be done about that, right? ... Until proof is found that they are still out there. Determined to find out the truth about herself, her parents and these strange new abilities she seems to be developing, Anne sets out into the world to find the answers and solve this mystery.

‘Her name is Anne. Please love her like we would have loved her.’

Anne let out a deep sigh as the words kept repeating in her heads over and over, the handwriting of the note hovering in front of her – because she had the image projected on her interface.

“You, uh, might have been kinda, uh, a-… a-.” “Adopted.”

The sight of her mothers – those she had called her mothers her entire life - on the verge of tears as they confessed the one thing they’ve had been dreading to tell their daughter, was something that would be burned into her optics forever.

“Where …where did I come from? Who were my birth parents?” “We …we don’t know.”

She let out – another – heavy sigh as she buried her face in her hands. In a span of minutes had her entire world turned upside down and she had no idea how to navigate all …this. It had been a few days since …everything that had happened and every day she felt a little worse. The stress had her entire system in a twist.

At the moment, quite literally.

She winced as she felt something inside her synthetic guts twist and turn, making her curl up on her bed with a whimper. For a moment, it felt like her entire body was overheating and her insides were being completely rearranged, but luckily, it didn’t last too long.

She let out a breath of relief as she discomfort subsided and her body relaxed again. “Okay …that was weird.” Not one to let things like this just happen without figuring out what the ever-loving Robo-God just happened, she quickly ran a diagnostic scan, seeing if something in her internal structure was damaged.

The results didn’t show anything wrong with her, beside that her energy reserves were going to run low soon. That was, like, totally on her; she couldn’t sleep at night, so her recharge cycle wasn’t as efficient as usual. She also had trouble eating much, which meant too little matter was converted into fuel and stored inside her energy cells. And thus, her system started to glitch because of it. All very logical.

She really needed to get something more solid in her bio-converter reactor, unless she wanted to end up at the doctor’s garage. And stress-snacking Sour Battery Bites didn’t help much either. Empty calories didn’t make a great fuel source. Tasty, though. Maybe she should pop down to the kitchen and make herself something healthier than the snacks she had been keeping on hand.

…

She grabbed another Battery Bite out of the bag and popped it into her mouth. Time enough for that later. Maybe.

The adolescent Drone rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling, as she tried – once again – to put everything that her parents had told her a few days ago into a coherent order. Going over all the facts and reach a agreeable conclusion.

“It was a stormy night, so …people would have been inside, so whoever left me didn’t want to be seen.” Anne mulled over, as she rolled the sour candy battery around her mouth. She tried to recall other things that her mothers had told her about that day. “Power outage? Seems …convenient. Too convenient… And no-one was on the streets either? How the flip-flopping heck did they do that? Grow wings and fly off?”

She reached under her pillow and took out the note that had revealed the truth to her. She had been keeping it there for …whatever reason she had done that. It didn’t help her sleep better, that’s for sure.

“Her name is Anne. Please love her like we would have loved her.” She read aloud, as she had done so many times over the last few days. Two sentences. What her name was and a plea to love her. Nothing else. No explanations, no other instruction, nothing that showed who or why she had been left behind.

There was one thing that vexed her. Out of all the houses out of all the streets out of all the suburbs out all the cities that sprawled all over Copper-9 …they had chosen the only people that wanted to have children, but were unable to. What were the chances that a young couple who have been waiting for so long to adopt a child of their own would, quite literally, have one delivered to their doorstep on a silver platter? Or rather …in a synthweave basket.

Something about that made her think that it was possible that Hazel and Naomi were specifically chosen. Someone had given their newborn child away, for whatever reasons they possessed, to the ideal couple of Drones. Someone had been watched them before they made their move.

She folded up the note and gently placed it inside her jacket pockets and reached out for the other item that lay beside her. Other clues to whoever had knocked on her parents’ door that fateful night.

An old red scarf. Slightly worn, but still comfy and warm. According to Naomi, it was wrapped around her, keeping her warm and dry from the cold, rainy weather that night. So …at least her birth parents cared enough to do that. She pressed the fabric against her cheek, like she had done so often now. There was that familiar feeling once again. Comfort. Safety. Sadness. It stirred up something inside her memory banks, but nothing concrete. Feelings and blurred sensations, but nothing visual that popped up.

Next item. An old beanie. Dark grey with black stripes. Worn, and there was evidence that something fluffy had once been attached to the top. And old piece of headwear, but still good enough to wear. Not much to go on there. These types of beanies had been popular for years, decades, if not even centuries. Half of her classmates and even some teachers wore these things. She even had one, but only wore it when she went outside, and even then, only when she felt like wearing one. There was evidence of repairs, ranging from amateurship to almost professional. Either two people had been working on this, or someone had to learn to sew and whatever stitches worked best. Someone tried their best to keep this beanie in good shape, which showed an attachment to it. And still, they had given it up …given it to her.

Next were a pair of glasses with yellow-tinted lenses. A special type glass was used. The type that some Drones would wear to enhance their vision …or just to look cute. Not as old like the scarf or beanie, but people could get these types of specs anywhere. But the lack of any sort of manufacturer also implied that someone had handcrafted these. Someone who had a specific type of style. Someone had taken the time to learn this, just like with the stitchwork on the beanie. Besides that, nothing else that could tell her more about who had owned them.

She picked up the final item, holding it between her thumb and index finger as she let it dangle above her head. An old black choker. A band made of charms resembling flowers or some sort of ice crystals. The middle part showed an insignia of some sort, but it had faded away so much that Anne hardly could make anything out of it. Some sort of skull and the numbers 002. Like the scarf and beanie, it looked really old. Maybe something passed down from parent to child?

Anne sighed as she clutched the choker in her fist. It was no use. None of these pieces were significant enough to help her solve this puzzle and everything else her parents had told her didn’t help much either. As she stared up at her ceiling, she wondered if she could just write down every clue she knew, stick them up there and connect them with red string as some gravitationally challenged evidence board.

…

Nah, she didn’t have any red string on hand and she couldn’t be bothered to buy some just for this. Seems like a waste of her allowance. Pretty sure that sort of thing doesn’t work anyways.

The questions, the revelations, the whole thing was really building up inside her, until she really couldn’t keep it inside her anymore. Anne took a deep breath for a few moments, after which she let out a long continuous groan, the kind that seemed to stretch out for several scenes and couldn’t be interrupted by even a dodgeball hitting her on the nogging …but only lasted about 10 seconds.

She should have known that she was adopted. In hindsight, the clues had always been there. Her eyes obviously couldn’t be any more different than those of her mothers. Her yellow and purple eyes versus her mothers’, which both had green eyes – one emerald, the other mint.

There was her height. When a Untrained Neural Network reached a certain age, it would be assigned a body, and the type of body was determined by the Drone’s Parental Source Code. Her mothers were both taller than her, so If she really would have had their parental source code, she would have been assigned a tall model as well. But she was given a shorter model, so that would have meant at least one of her parents would have been short as well.

Then, there were the little things. She had a bit of a temper – which she totally had under control – while her mothers always seemed to be able to keep their calm. She had a natural knack for anything electronic, having taught herself how to hack. Her mothers were both doctors, but even with their own predisposition for it, they had to got through years of Tech-Med school to reach their current level.

It was something in her appearance as well. People always seemed so surprised to learn that Anne was Hazel and Noami’s daughter, often mentioning that she looked so different from her parents. Now she knew why. Anne sighed. This whole thing was making her head spin. Before Anne could spiral even further down her whirlpool of thoughts, a knock on her door startled her out of it and made her sit up.

“Hello?”

“Anne, sweetheart? May I come in?” It was Naomi. Were her mothers home? She thought that they were at the hospital.

“Yes, momma, come in!” Anne called out, a hint of guilt welling up. Her mothers had been giving her space after their talk, even allowing her to stay from school for a couple of days – a doctor’s note was easily acquired when both you parents were doctors –, but she had been kinda, somewhat, just a little ignoring them. It’s not that she hadn’t said a word to them, but Anne had entrenched herself inside her room for these last few days and didn’t have the courage to face them too much right now.

“Hi there, little Anne.” Naomi greeted cautiously as she peeked inside the room.

“Hi…” Anne greeted back, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips as she hear her mothers’ favorite pet name for her. “I thought you guys were at work?”

“Hazel still is and I took the afternoon off.” Naomi explained. Having you home alone, especially after …well, we felt better knowing at least one of us was here.”

“Oh …”

“I, eh …noticed you hadn’t finished your breakfast.” Noami smiled sheepishly and held out a tray with a few sandwiches – or rather Dronekind’s equivalent of a sandwich. “I thought you might be hungry. They are your favorites, with extra spicy thermal paste.”

“That’s okay, but- “

“Anne Elliot Brinkman, you have hardly eaten proper food in two days and I’m not leaving until you’ve finished at least one sandwich.” Naomi stated, her voice calm and collected but Anne knew her momma well enough to hear that subtle and unspoken ‘or else…’ between the lines. Naomi smiled softly. “Please, for me? So I know you’ve had something besides those snacks of yours?”

After a lifetime of having the occasional squabble with her parents giving her the intricate ability of knowing when to push back and when to just simply give up, Anne held out her hand and accepted the plate of lovingly made sandwiches. As her mother took a seat next to her, Anne took a bite …her eyes lit up and she started to scarf down the food. Naomi just shook her head in amusement. Anne must’ve been hungrier than either of them thought.

When Anne had finished her plate, she handed it over to Naomi with a small ‘thank you, momma’.

“You know, school has called again.” Naomi began casually, but Anne could hear that little something in her voice that told she had something else on her mind.

“Oh…?” Anne tried to keep her voice even, but it wasn’t easy to keep it casual. She had so many burning questions and she was looking for an opening to ask about them.

“They asked when you would return.”

“Well, tell them-“

“I told them you’d return Monday.” Naomi held up a finger to Anne’s lips before the latter could utter a disagreement. “We have been very understanding these last few days, because we know how hard and difficult this news had been to you.”

“That’s an understatement…” Anne muttered silently, alas not silently enough if that disapproving scowl her mother her mother was giving her was anything to go by. “Sorry.”

“You better.” Naomi sighed, but tried to put on a sympathetic smile as Anne looked away. “Honey, staying away from school for a few days was fine, since you ‘weren’t feeling well’; but any longer and you’re going to need a proper reason to do so. And before you ask: no, neither me nor your mom are going to just hand you a doctor’s notes.”

Anne sighed. She knew her momma was right. She didn’t like it, but she had to relent anyway. “Fine …”

An awkward silence fell between the two, with Anne fidgeting with the old choker she still was holding and Naomi staring down at her hands folded up on her lap. Eventually, the older Drone let out a heavy sigh. As she spoke up, the teenager couldn’t help but notice how broken her mother’s voice sounded. “Anne, darling, I know you must hate us, but-“

Anne’s head shot up, shocked at this statement. “’Hate you’? Why would I ever hate you?” She pointed at herself. “And please take notice of the complete lack of sarcasm in my voice and the absolute, genuine confusion its actually projecting.”

Noami didn’t seem convinced. “Anne, we’ve lied to you your entire life.” She wiped away a digital tear. “But you must believe me when I say that we are so sorry for-“

Anne didn’t give her mother a chance to finish her speech of self-pity, as she threw her arms – pretty much her entire body – around her mother and hugged her. A gesture immediately returned by Naomi, who pulled her child close against her chest.

“Momma, I could never - I repeat, never - hate you.” Anne choked out, digital tears running down her cheeks as guilt now truly filled up her entire being. She felt awful for making her mothers feel that way, especially since they didn’t deserve it. “Yes, you lied about this, but I can kinda understand how hard it was to find the right time to speak about this. Yes, suddenly finding out the truth like this was hard, but momma, you and mom took me in as your daughter. You fed me, raised me, and you loved me like your own. I am who I am because of you two. You are my parents and I love you two so much. Nothing will ever change that!”

“Of course we did.” Noami agreed softly, tears running down her visor. “And we love you too. You have been nothing but a blessing for us. Our little Anne.”

Anne pulled away from the embrace and held her mother’s hands in her own. “But can you blame me for just …wanting to get away from it all for a little while to just process all this? When you told me the truth …Momma, my entire world just got turned upside-down and I don’t know left from right anymore.”

“Well, Hazel and I do know a little of what that’s like.” Noami stated softly as she caressed her daughter’s cheek. “To have your life going on like it always had and suddenly ….lightning strikes, everything is different, nothing is like it was anymore and there’s an entirely new normal you have to get used to.”

“Is that really what I am going to have to do?” Anne asked, squeezing her mother’s hands softly. “Just …get used to the new normal? Just going through life feeling like there’s an entire piece missing from my puzzle?”

“I don’t know what else you could do, Anne darling.” Naomi said with a heavy sigh. “Me and Hazel have told you everything we know.”

“Are you sure there is nothing more?” Anne asked. “There must be something you can tell me?”

“Honey, I don’t know what else to tell you about that night.” Naomi sighed, running her fingers through her hair. “Me and Hazel were watching television during a storm when the power went out. We heard a knock on the door and when Hazel went to check, all she found was this little Droneling, all alone. No-one in sight. Just a basket with a baby, a note and some personal items.”

“And what about my Parental Source Code?” Anne asked, despite knowing very well what her mother was going to answer. “Can’t they trace my parents that way?”

“Anne, they tried that. A few days after we brought you into the hospital to check you out – you had a perfectly clean bill of health, by the way -, we got word that they had tracked down the two donors of your Source Code, and …”

“The young couple they had found had died a few days after the night you had found me, you’ve told me this.” Anne sighed. “So, who were they?”

“We …we don’t know. Their ID-Chips were destroyed in the accident and frankly, …we didn’t want to know. We were fighting to get you adopted as our child and we feared that any sort of potential revelation would result in them taking you away from us. ” Naomi confessed.

Anne ran her hands through her hair. “There’s really nothing else? Anything?”

“Well …” Naomi mused. “It’s probably nothing, but they found some …irregularities in your data files.”

“That doesn’t sound like ‘nothing’.” Anne sat up a little straighter. “What did they find?”

Naomi sighed. “Don’t get your hopes up, sweetie. It meant that they couldn’t find any data on Cradle Facility you were from and you had some minor, harmless corruption in some of the data strings, which all were fixed when your Core got transferred into your kiddie body.”

“That …doesn’t sound like anything minor.” Anne stated carefully.

“From what I remember – and not a lot, since this was 16 years ago – it seemed to point out that something didn’t go exactly right during your, uh, moment of conception. Computer error, a glitch in the system, things like that. ” Naomi explained. “They believed that, most likely, this young couple had broken into a Cradle Facility, for whatever reason, and accidentally triggered the Neural Network Fabricator, which resulted in …you.”

Anne deflated. “I …I was probably an accident?”

A silence fell again, with Anne mulling over the what her mother had told her.

“Honey …I …”Naomi took a deep breath. “Even if your birth parents never planned for you; even if they couldn’t – for whatever reason – keep you as their own, they still loved you enough to make sure you were taken care off. Lesser people would have …tossed you away, or worse.”

“But they didn’t …” Anne realized, slowly looking up. “They wanted me to have a family. They wanted someone to love me, like they would have loved me.”

“And I’d say that you’ve gotten just that, sweetheart.” Naomi spread her arms open, inviting her daughter into a hug – which Anne quickly agreed too, as she practically lunged at her mother. A few moments passed in comfortable silence, before Naomi broke it. She broke away from the hug and used her fingers to brush her daughter’s hair. “Feeling better?”

Anne shrugged. “A bit …but …”

“But …?” Noami pressed.

Anne wrung her hands together, unable to bring herself to look her mother in the eyes. “Please, don’t be mad, but …I …I still would like to know more. I still have so many questions and- “

Noami grabbed Anne’s hand. “Of course you still have questions, sweetie. It’s only normal.” She assured her daughter with a loving smile. “And maybe, one day, you might get some answers, but …not right now. Right now, there are three things that you can be certain of right now.”

The confused teenaged Drone cocked her head, a question mark appearing on her visor. “And those are?”

“1. Your parents – adopted or otherwise – love you very much, no matter what.” Noami began, counting down on her fingers. “2. Whatever happens in the future, you will always be our daughter and you will always have a home with us.”

“And the third thing, momma?” Anne asked with a big grin.

Noami booped Anne on the nonexistent nose with a massive grin. “Understanding mom or not, Hazel is gonna flip a gasket when she sees what a pigsty your room has become and you better clean it up before she gets home.”

Anne chuckled sheepishly as she gazed around her room. It was …pretty chaotic, even for a teenager’s room. Dirty clothes strewn around, snack wrappers more around her trash can than inside it, books and comics that didn’t provide any sort of distraction on several places besides her bookcase and more ... All the pacing around, brooding and mildly immature temper tantrums of the last few days hadn’t done her room any favors. She rubbed the back of her head. “Uh, I’ll get right on that?”

“You could do that.” Naomi suggested as she stood up from the bed, a mischievous grin on her face. “Or …since you’ve been cooped up here all this time and Hazel is going to work late today, how about we have some mother-daughter time first, and afterwards I could help you clean up? How does a trip to your favorite clothing store sound?”

“Sounds absolutely perfect, momma!” Anne agreed with a massive smile as she jumped up from her bed.

Now, those who knew Anne well would agree on a lot of things about her, with variations of agreement. She was really pretty. She was really intelligent. She was friendly. She could be really sarcastic when she wanted to be. She was a Drone who liked to help out. She was a great friend. She had a great taste in retro music. She was equal parts dork and cool. She did have a bit of a temper, but what teenager doesn’t?

But there was one thing they all agreed on. Anne was anything but graceful. In fact: she was a bit of a klutz. Tripping over her own feet, running into things, bumping into people when she wasn’t paying attention.

Or, in this case, getting her blanket somehow wrapped up around her feet without her even noticing.

Instead of jumping of her bed with gracefulness of a now-extinct gazelle, Anne got her foot caught and tumbled right over the edge of her bed. She didn’t even have time to yelp before she landed face-first on the ground.

She heard and felt something crack. Her visor ..not again. She only had visited the tech-doc last week for a new visor and she really didn’t want to explain how it happened this time. The reason for the previous time she got injured was embarrassing enough.

Naomi, despite being used to her daughter’s clumsiness, still gave the latter the courtesy of being concerned. She hoped she didn’t sound too casual about it. “Are you okay, sweetheart?”

“Ouch …” Anne groaned as she got up, holding her hand over her right eye. She stumbled back onto her bed, a bit dizzy from the impact. Her visor felt like it was burning. “I’m fine, but I think I’ve cracked my visor ..again.”

Her mother immediately held her daughter’s head between her hand. “Move your hand. Let me see.” She gave Anne a quick look as the latter removed her hand from her head. Naomi softly rubbed her thumb over Anne’s visor and smiled. “No, nothing there. Not even a scratch. You got lucky …this time.”

“Huh, seriously?” Anne questioned as she jumped up from the bed – this time without any more injuries – and walked over to her dressing table and looked into the mirror. To her surprise, her mother was right. No cracked visor, no pieces missing, not even scratched. Her visor was completely intact …it somehow looked even better than before. “I could’ve sworn that …”

“Well, be glad you were wrong, honey.” Naomi giggled. “Although, with two more visits to the tech-doc this month and we’ll be getting a free frozen yoghurt.”

“First: haha, very funny.” Anne grimaced, sticked out her tongue at her mother – who copied the action. “Secondly, I still can’t understand how Doc Bronwyn is able to combine her doctor’s practice with an ice cream parlor …with massive success, I might add?”

“Some people just have a great mind for business, I guess.” Naomi chuckled, holding out her hand to Anne. “Since you don’t have any life-threatening injuries at the moment, how about we get going?”

Spurred by the prospect of getting some new clothes on someone else’s money - and spending some quality time with her momma, obviously – Anne grabbed her mother’s hand and gave the latter a big smile. “Ready!”

***

Anne hummed a happy song as she pretty much danced into her room, bags of new clothes in each hand. She had so much fun spending time with her momma. Shopping for clothes, getting her favorite coolant milkshake, just relishing in the fact that she should be at school that day but instead was out there. It had been a good day. It was something that she really needed. A welcome distraction of her own downtrodden teenage mind.

As she threw her backs onto her bed, she felt something crunch beneath her feet. As she lifted up her foot, she was surprised to see it was a piece of glass. Curiously, she bend over and picked up the shard and held it up to her visor.

It was a piece of glass, sure, but …more specifically, it was a broken piece of her visor. She was sure of it. After all, she had broken the dang thing more often than she cared to admit. She looked over to the place where she had picked it up. It was right where she had, uh …violently stumbled out of bed. The precise same spot.

But …she hadn’t broken her visor then, right?

Right?

She walked over to her mirror and leaned in close to her own reflection, giving her visor a thorough look. Nothing broken. No cracks, no scratches, nothing at all. Her visor was damage-free. Weird. Everything told her that she hadn’t broken anything. She was unharmed and still, there was a piece of her visor in her hand. It’s almost like it …

With a scoff, she threw the shard in her trash can. Maybe it was a piece she had overlooked after the last time she had unwillingly divebombed out of her bed – which happened a bit too much, if you asked her.

Now, she still needed to clean up her room and make sure that Hazel had something to be happy about when she got home from work. She wanted to make it up to both her moms for giving them such a hard time these last few days, and this would be at least a good start. As she started to pick up her clothes, her eyes caught her reflection in the mirror again, which made her stop. She stared at her face, at her multi-colored eyes for a few moments …before she shook her head and went back to her task at hand.

Surely, it was nothing be worried about.

…

Right?

#Murder Drones #Immortal Vuzi AU #Vuzi #Murder Drones OC #fanfiction

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koreandragon · 1 year

Note

Kdramas are in such a sorry state lately it's so sad. We're getting all these sequels for shows that mostly weren't supposed to have multiple seasons so they're a mess bc they have no story to tell. They're all dazzle razzle and no actual decent writing (taxi driver, nine tailed fox, romantic doctor etc) and then we have the 500 crime/thriller shows which are mostly deeply mediocre or downright awful. At least with romcoms if the chemistry is good and the character work is decent enough you can have a really fun show. With these dramas most of it hinges on a well written plot at which the majority fail spectacularly. News came out a few weeks ago that there are 80 dramas made that might never air bc they have no platform bc all the big ones cut the wen-thurs slot except jtbc so there are 80 dramas that will most likely rot after so much hard work and these could be great dramas, because their criteria is it will air if it has big names in it, so this is not a quality issue. Netflix really f*cked us, not only did it start the collapse of the us industry( writers are striking, actors are about to strike, shows are getting cancelled after 1/2 seasons and 8 episodes, shows getting purged for a buck, everyone is only looking for IP with big names and no one cares about good ideas or creativity) it also insidiously burrowed into the kdrama industry and changed the genres of dramas we get, the number of episodes we get, even the sequels bc it used to be no matter how huge a shows ratings were, the worst they could do was an extension, sequels weren't a thing that happened except very rarely in prodecurals like ten or vampire prosecutor. The entire thing is a sad state of affairs, another case of tech bros devastating an industry (I'm referring to the US tv/movie industry) they don't understand to line their pockets and moving on to the next one while the wreckage left in their wake will never be salvaged.

anon i absolutely agree. this is such a depressing topic for me especially because i just love cinema so much. my parents raised me to love movies then i eventually fell in love with tv shows and kdramas and it literally kills me to see the downfall of these amazing comforts in my life. i think the main reason why i haven't been here is because i just wasn't feeling like dragging through another kdrama with a medicore plot. y'all know what i was doing instead? watching old movies i've been meaning to watch for a long time or rewatching classics. you hear this every day and you could jump me for it but...they don't make them like they used to anymore. and idc how corny it sounds cause it's fucking true. exluding some very good recent movies where people making it still care about making an enjoyable piece of media (i don't give a fuck what anyone thinks of tom cruise or top gun, maverick was the only new movie in a long time that made me feel like i used to while watching movies and i literally cannot wait for the new mission impossible film). i'm a 100% with the writers strike, i really hope that they can get what they want and we will finally get back at least a fraction of something that was lost along the way. netflix was supposed to make things accessible, not turn the industry upside down and inside out then light it on fire and piss on the flames. every time i read a season 2 announcement of a kdrama i just go UGHHHHHHH. why are we adding seasons to a show that doesn't need it and why are we cancelling seasons for shows that needed to go longer to tell a story? what's the fucking rationale? oh oh OH mONEy???? netflix don't have enough MONEYYYY??? can't pay residuals to writers or renew a show that has moved people and has more story to tell but has money to make a squid game IN REAL LIFE (which is in itself like....the point flew over everyone's heads) and renewing shows NO ONE ASKED FOR?? oh what? what? more and more people are unsubscribing from your service? how could that be.....only if there was a solution to keep your subscribers by offering them quality content instead of mindless cash grabs....

i'll close this with probably one of my favorite posts on this site

#ask #anonymous

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stickythoughts1989 · 8 months

Text

Getting a diagnosis

The worry was all-encompassing. I was a not-so-secret worry wort. I ripped off my nails, I picked at my scabs till they bled. My leg always shook. I couldn’t sit still, literally and figuratively.

People must have known something was different about me but how were they supposed to know I was really, truly in pain? I didn’t even realize it was as bad as it was until it was so bad I didn’t want to live anymore.

On a regular basis, the “what if?” thoughts were constant until the doubt was pervasive, crushing me at every twist, turn, and corner. At times, I just figured I was damaged or deserving of it all. I didn’t know any other way was possible.

But now I do.

I want to pause here and say that things have gotten significantly better for me recently – to my surprise – and I’ll get into how and why eventually but I wanted you to know that things can get better once you get proper treatment and care. It’s unfortunate it can take so long to get to that point, though.

Prior to my diagnosis, uncertainty was like poison for me. It still is, but less so. My thoughts would spiral, and my brain would go into overdrive. My mind would go round and round about something! anything! I. just. couldn’t. take it. and so I did something else. I checked my phone. I avoided the trigger. I picked my skin.

I thought I was distracting myself from the pain and that was a good thing. Now I know that what I was doing was compulsive, and that I was living with obsessive compulsive disorder.

The journey to getting to that diagnosis was long and winding. I had been doing talk therapy – which I now know is bad for OCD and I’ll get into why one day soon – for nearly ten years and I had tried nearly 15 different meds for five years. I did yoga. I ate relatively well. I took my parents to therapy to talk about my trauma. I read self-help books. I did the “work” – but relief never felt quite possible in the long term. Sure there were pockets of what seemed like betterment. But it was all a facade. The things that felt good – success! buying new things! – were things that weren’t serving me.

No matter how much effort I put into my healing journey, it always felt like there was a wall blocking real, long term, lasting relief. The pain always trickled back in and there I was, a puddle on the floor. Severely anxious and severely depressed. My fatigue was chronic too. Life felt exhausting from the inside out and the outside in.

Conversations with my therapist were often cyclical. Why were we having the same convos over and over again? Why wasn’t I getting better? This was infuriating and I hit a breaking point in the fall of 2022. Something wasn’t working and I couldn’t take it anymore.

I began picking my skin obsessively, all over, all the time. I was actively hurting myself, all over my body, and everyone could finally see it.

So, I started seeing a new therapist. She suggested I get a second opinion from a psychiatrist she knew who, of course, didn’t take insurance, but had helped her more “complex” cases and used a special testing system to help people find the right medication. Desperation called and I eventually took the steps to see that doctor in the spring of 2023.

Prior to meeting him, he gave me instructions to do a genetic test called the Genomind. The Genomind is a newer genetic testing system that identifies genetic mutations that predispose you for certain mental illnesses. Doctors can use it to identify which medicines might be better suited to you.

The Friday before the fourth of July I finally met with him. And I finally, after all that suffering, got answers. A lot of answers.

He diagnosed me with OCD, ADHD, and Bipolar Disorder II, three things I didn’t know I had. In an instant, my life turned upside down. It was already hanging in the balance but now it was shattered into a million pieces.

I started to question everything I knew about myself. I was overwhelmed to an extreme. And so I crumbled.

#ocd #mental illness #obsessive compulsive disorder #bipolar disorder #depression #anxiety #adhd

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aajjks · 10 months

Note

TPOL!JK

“you know i would never put my hands on my kookie but please, don’t do that again. i love you and i always will” says ji-ae whose frown is turned upside down when jungkook mentions having kids with the love of his life AKA you.

you whose been comforting ji-ae as she cried and never treated her differently when she was struggling with her mental health.

you were there through all of it and it’s obvious the two of you are working towards a better place in yours relationship and this time you’re staying for good.

ji-ae promises to not invite chaeyoung over any longer and will make sure to change her locks and don’t think she doesn’t notice jungkook’s hand on your waist. he’s such a simp for you and ji-ae can’t help but find his love for you adorable.

the sweet moment is then cut short when jungkook’s phone goes off and he leaves to pick up the call leaving you and ji-ae alone.

“y/n?” she asks.

“what’s wrong?”

“do you…do you really think the baby isn’t his?”

“i honestly don’t know what to believe because he isn’t sure himself but i’ll still love him no matter what. i…i still want us to have a family together so i’m not going to let this deter me from loving him”

and ji-ae smiles and nods her head at you thinking how your parents did a fine job raising you. you’re a beautiful, ambitious, compassionate young woman and the more she talks to you, she begins to understand why jungkook is so hung up on you. you’re literally magical.

meanwhile, jungkook is outside fussing at, you guessed it, chaeyoung.

“quit yelling at the mother of your unborn child. guess what? i’ve decided to not release the mugshot pictures so instead of yelling at me, you should be thanking me. our baby has been in the oven for a month now and to celebrate, i’m going to tell the whole world about our baby. isn’t that great?! i hope you’re having fun with that whore because i’m going to ruin that bitch too”

He’s gritting his teeth and he almost throws his phone on the ground, “you mean the bastard child eh? It’s not MY child- and go ahead tell the world. Why would I care?” He scoffs.

“You’ve fucked many men. So… I’m not too concerned.” He smirks. “And for your info. She’s the love of my life. Not some whore. Go ahead and cry. I’m never going to love you or accept this child.” He is being harsh he knows, but what she needs is not to be craving his love but going to therapy.

“Ruin her and I’ll make sure your careers over, I’ll expose your obsession with me and everything you’ve done.” He threatens her back.

“You’re not the only woman who’s tried this, with me Chaeyoung.” He warns her, fixing his hair as he reaches out for a cigarette from his back pocket.

“I’m going to propose to yn- marry her, fuck her senseless and get her pregnant, WILLINGLY. And you’ll watch helplessly.” Chuckling, he lights up the cigarette while balancing the phone on his shoulder.

He hears her screaming, he rolls her eyes. “SHUT THE FUCK UP- even the child in your belly deserves to have a better mother than a psycho like you.” That’s the last blow he gives her after cutting of the call.

He is pretty sure that he’s hurt her a lot, enough to make her do something crazy so he’s a little concerned for you. Jungkook has to make sure that you’re safe.

You’ll have to move in with him.

He’s thinking to himself for a while and after he’s done smoking, he’s back inside. And his worries wash away as soon as he sees you helping his mother set the dinner table.

Oh, how can he ever leave you?

“Yn… once you’re done, I need to ask you something.” He smiles.

After the dinner, you, him and his mother are conversing, laughing and reminiscing about the old times and he scoffs in embarrassment when Jiae starts to tell you his childhood stories.

But overall it’s all very sweet and he feels so good. Then you finally give him your attention once his mother excuses herself to fetch dessert from the kitchen, rejecting your offer to fetch it yourself.

“Yn..” Jungkook looks at you, then on his watch, staring at it.

He hopes that you’ll agree.

“Move in with me.”

#ask: tpol!jungkook

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theweirdspacejellyfish · 3 months

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lgbt webtoons rec

my gentle giant by lovaboy comics - slice of life

summary: jun watanabe is your average outcast. hes a third year in high school, but he looks like a first year. he wants to play soccer, but he sucks at sports. and to top it all off... hes gay. however when akihiro, the school giant, comes to his rescue, jun finds out that looks can be deceiving, first loves are often full of misunderstandings, and what matters most, is not how you look, but whats inside your heart.

i think i like you by yeentrash - slice of life

summary: an unfortunate timing for a package delivery crossed leons and skys path. coincidence? destiny? theres much to unfold and many secrets to come to light

the hunt by lucid - romance

summary: avery and rhys rekindle their middle school hobby of hunting for ghosts in their senior years of college. avery wants to join the super elite paranormal investigators club, ghost encounters inc., while rhys is a skeptical as he is averse to full moons. slowly but surely they uncover the haunting secrets of their local abandoned asylum as well as their feelings for one another

lies within by byelacey - supernatural

summary: lysanders aimless and carefree life is turned upside down when he accidentally discovers that the cute boy next door, simon, is a literal monster

heaven help us by catroulette - fantasy

summary: when mylo, a devout exorcist, believes he has reached his lowest point, a deadly omen seems to prophesy his end, opening up a whole new world of difficult questions and choices. guided or manipulated by unexpected forces, he must navigate the turmultuous waters of his uncertain future

#webtoon #would reccomend

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likeapray3r · 1 year

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Thinking about how my ex cornered me into having a conversation about how much I would be able to pay her hourly when I was literally at my worst and could barely even provide for myself, which I said, which I openly expressed I was stressed about, and continued to push me for an answer until I got visibly upset after saying over and over that I didn’t know if it was the right time… when I had just moved. when I just had my whole life flipped upside down for her. when I was just trying to focus on getting myself back up on my feet. continually pushing me over and over again. I remember feeling so upset, and wondering why the person who claimed to love me so much wanted to see me so stressed out all for their own benefit. If the roles were reversed I would’ve never done that, not now and not in a million years. Abuse takes many shapes and forms. I know now that I was just seen for what I could provide, and how much she could benefit from. So when my ability to carry myself continuously got weathered down by the quiet abuse, I was no longer deemed beneficial. Aka why I was on my way to getting discarded. The discard would always begin when I started speaking up for myself about how unhappy I was due to her actions and how she treated me, all of which she never owned up. The least a human can do before they throw you out, they can own up how wrong they treated someone. Instead roles were reversed and I was the abuser … to someone who took and took from me in many ways throughout 4 years, overtaking my life and my self-hood, hijacking my existence and hoovering me when she had a new supply… which are all abusive. I’m not a perfect person and as a matter of fact I know I’m fucked up… but I know for a fact I would’ve never subjected anyone to any of this. I would’ve never strung someone along, had silent competition with someone I claimed to be in love with, held secret animosity to someone I planned a life with, and I would never not own up for what I have done and the roles I’ve played. The embarrassment of being back with an abuser, not wanting to tell anyone about what really was happening because you hope it’ll be different this time. The embarrassment of admitting you think you deserve to stay somewhere you are not loved. It is all so heavy. I’ve seen this story play out in my own family… and I was so blind. The quick relief that comes with convincing myself that I’m over it, that I have many crushes, that I can move on any time, that I am capable of everything - which a few are true to a point (I know I’m capable because I’ve seen the proof before)—over the grueling truth that the abuse and the marks of it live deeply inside of me, that aren’t easy to let go of, that are inflicted within. That I cannot imagine bringing anyone into the reality that is -I am deeply wounded. I am not a perfect partner right now, for anyone, but myself, and I’m not sure when that will change. I have subjected myself to back to back abuse —because I grew up thinking that was normal, that sticking through no matter what was the highest and noble thing to do. To sacrifice myself for a narcissist who cannot ever accept that i’m me, that you shouldn’t want to dictate how my life goes-from the media I intake, the friends that I keep, the hobbies that I love, the time that I need for me, the love languages that make me feel loved. To be abused over and over again in such silent ways to the point I felt like I had no grasp on reality. The seeds that were laid in my mind-that I had to perform to gain “back” the respect of those in her circle… when I’ve been the one getting abused the entire time. When I have turned my head to people who I’ve loved for years due to the embarrassment of letting them know how my inner life was going (my best friend since high school especially) , I’ve detached from everything I had built for myself—for someone who wants me to dance like I’m a cheap puppet for their entertainment. To make their life look better, and most importantly play the role that was set out for me. To deny me of my perspective, to deny me.

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taekookfests · 1 year

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a/b/o fest - fic reveals season 2

For Infinity by KookieAddict [link] 104.9k Words | Completed | Explicit

Being a broken omega was something Jeon Jungkook thought would follow him throughout his entire life—if being on the run could ever be called a life.

Meeting Taehyung, his fated mate, and finding a new pack—a family—in his friends came like a hurricane, turning his life upside down.

But with his life threatened and his past coming back to haunt him, will Jungkook be able to face his demons, keep the people he loves safe, and finally live the life he never dared to dream of?

Petal Undercover by Mikolaj [link] 84.3k Words | Completed | Explicit

Seven decades have passed since Omegas separated themselves entirely, training their naturally flimsier bodies to be able to fight against Alphas' abuse. They became a force that knew no mercy on a battlefield, killing Alphas who momentarily lost their focus in an instant.

Taehyung runs into a battlefield in hopes for the same fate. Why isn't he killed the moment he closes his eyes, he doesn't know.

Hold You Tight by TaeTaes_Beaches [link] 31.2k Words | Completed | Mature

“Why don't you get tired of me? Don't you see the baggage I come with? Why can't you just leave me, Tae. This won't ever end. The voices inside my head would never end. Why do you still hold me like I'm the centre of your universe?” Jungkook whispers, his lower lip quivering as a lone tear falls.

“Because…” Taehyung smiles, wiping the tear away, his dainty fingers going to graze the mating mark his Jungkook proudly wears.

The Alpha shudders at the touch leaning into Taehyung’s hold, letting the omega wrap his arms around his shoulders pulling him against his strong chest.

“For an Eternity, I've promised to hold you tight”

Fated To Love You by velaritae [link] 15.7k Words | Completed | Explicit

Jeon Jeongguk got pregnant after sleeping with the campus heartthrob Kim Taehyung. When Taehyung found out about it, he was more than willing to take responsibility.

I Love You (Romantically AF) by Sugarykv [link] 15.1k Words | Completed | Mature

From shy little boy to handsome muscular alpha. Jeon Jeongguk had changed a lot.

Maybe Taehyung needs to redraw his bestfriend in his mind..

More like relable themselves? (Only if he wasn’t so obvious )

Sunflower by Yashkook [link] 11.5k Words | Completed | Teen and Up

after being wed-locked through an arrange marriage with a stoic alpha who looks like he would rather eat glass than talk to him, jungkook is determined to bond him with, no matter what.

it does hurt a lot when he snaps at jungkook once rather harshly, resulting in jungkook to put a full stop on his mission get-to-know-your-alpha.

however, taehyung is the one determined this time to earn jungkook's forgiveness and maybe bond with him too...

- just cold awkward introvert alpha taehyung trying to apologize and woo his sunshine omega jungkook.

come and leave your mark by tkvenergy [link] 10.2k Words | Completed | Explicit

An alpha Jungkook is so used to the omega Taehyung always being there, right beside him, complimenting and supporting him to the point that sometimes Jungkook acts annoyed. But he doesn't realize how much he likes it until Taehyung starts paying the same attention to another alpha.

Seven Year Drought by softbangtanboys [link] 8.2k Words | Completed | Explicit

"I swear I'm not hitting on you or something", Taehyung says (although he kinda is), perched atop the massage table, clad in just a flimsy towel, "But I feel like we've met before."

His massage therapist- an incredibly buff looking alpha, well oiled muscles spilling out of his tank top- slowly turns around to give him an incredulous look.

"Hyung, please. We're literally exes."

I see love in your eyes by Yashkook [link] 6.3k Words | Completed | Teen And Up

jungkook's plan to study peacefully on a sunday afternoon in his favorite library is horribly ruined by a creep who won't stop staring at him.

after few fruitless tries to convey his ire through eyes to the stranger, who wouldn't even bat an eye to him. jungkook decides he so done with it.

he marches towards the stranger hitting him with his ―embarrassingly thin― book, purely out of his instincts.

however he's star strucked by a meteor lightning when the said creepy stranger starts profusely apologising, to his utter horror revealing that he's blind.

cue to them falling in love slowly with tooth rotting fluff.

The thrill of the fight (or is it love?) by Blue267 [link] 4.8k Words | Completed | Teen And Up

After years of trying to tempt Jeon Jungkook into a fight, Kim Taehyung starts to realize something.

Is it actually about the thrill of the fight or is it about the alpha himself?

Up My Skirt, Is My Heart by Yashkook [link] 4.6k Words | Completed | Teen And Up

cheerleader Jungkook had been pathetically pining over the college topper nerd Taehyung, who's oblivious to his turmoil.

Jungkook is surprised, to say the least when he finds Taehyung staring at his ass? thighs? decides to start a mission of seducing the fuck out of Taehyung, with the help of constant encouragement from his friends.

of course by wearing his oh-so-beautiful collection of crop tops, booty shorts, and oh his lovely skirts, in order to grab Taehyung's attention. and boy does he grab the said man's attention along with the man himself.

Irresistible by taeggukis [link] 4.5k Words | Completed | Explicit

Now, Jeongguk is not stupid. Neither is he naïve or oblivious. It has been eight months since he and Taehyung are dating. The alpha is a kind, caring and giving boyfriend.

He has given him everything, except his cock inside the omega.

So, he teases his alpha until he gets what he wants.

minutiae by celestaealkook [link] 4.5k Words | Completed | Explicit

They're not mated for too long, around 5 months maybe but they've been dating since the first year of uni.

They decided to complete the bond after Taehyung's unexpected pregnancy got confirmed and Jungkook feels that he's with the gorgeous omega for almost his entire life.

Scarlet Dawn by reikaa [link]

82.5k Words | Ongoing | Explicit

Born with rare scarlet hair, omega Taehyung lives a peaceful and humble life as the town’s herbalist, until a sudden betrothal order from the Crown Prince forces him to flee the kingdom.

On his way to find a new home, Taehyung stumbles across an injured sentinel and helps him, unknowing that he’s Jeon Jeongguk, the Alpha Prince of the kingdom he’s headed to.

(Loosely based on the anime, Snow White with the Red Hair)

A Little Rain Must Fall to Meet the Moon by AM1119 [link] 29.3k Words | Ongoing | Explicit

To say that Jeon Jungkook is protective of his mountain and distrustful of outsiders is an understatement. But when the Winter Olympics plan to destroy the mountain and village in order to build a ski slope, he finds his whole world is turned upside down. Especially because he has to place his trust and his hope in Kim Taehyung, an outsider who is just looking for some inspiration.

Unfortunately, the mountain doesn't seem to be big enough for the both of them.

Heart-Shaped Wolf by AlphaGuk [link] 24.6k Words | Ongoing | Teen And Up

Taehyung is making an effort to get the new alpha to court him while Jungkook is trying to figure out why Taehyung smells like love.

P.s. Jungkook is unaware that he is a werewolf.

It's (not) all about the rumors by SulkingAlien [link] 17.4k Words | Ongoing | Explicit

"We will just co-exist in the same household. That wouldn't be hard for you, right?"— The exact words Taehyung uttered when he came with the proposal to one of Jungkook's photoshoots.

or a story where CEO alpha Taehyung decides to marry supermodel omega Jeon Jungkook to put an end to the rumors about them hooking up.

Give love a chance (and take all of mine) by goldiminie [link] 19k Words | Ongoing | Mature

After Taehyung’s ex-boyfriend cheats on him and shatters his perception of love, the omega isn’t really looking to find a new relationship now. All he wants is to wallow in his misery.

His world is flipped upside down, though, when a certain Jeon Jeongguk with his tattoos, piercings and leather jackets enters his life.

But Taehyung’s not sure if he’s ready to give his heart away again.

You could be the one by vkishikaisei [link] 17.1k Words | Ongoing | Explicit

Breaking News: Locals have spotted supposed rivals Kim Taehyung and Jeon Jungkook out on a date.

What's the real score between the two idols? Click here to read more.

It’s you, all along by SecretWriterKv [link] 14.2k Words | Ongoing | Explicit

Jungkook turns in his bed and covers his face until he’s under the blanket. Covering his ears so he doesn’t hear any more—but Taehyung’s laugh rings through his ears and he can hear all his words loud and clear.

“No. There is nothing. He’s just my best friend.” He said almost plainly, “love him as a best friend, nothing more. Plus, he’s an alpha— I could never be with an alpha.” Taehyung laughs.

/I could never be with an alpha/

Jungkook’s heart breaks.

The Placing by Heyyo_Taekook (TrischwitaTK) [link] 12.4k Words | Ongoing | Mature

Times have changed, things are not as they once were in the Omegaverse. While once upon a time rank and mates were revealed by scent and feelings, the only thing to rely on is your Placing; a small tattoo on your inner wrist that alerts you of your sub-gender, the phase of the moon for your mating cycle, and a date of when you will meet your Bonded.

Jungkook has been waiting for this day his whole life, all he's ever wanted is a fairytale ending with the one he is supposed to spend Bonded to.

Taehyung has never thought twice about meeting his Bonded or ending up with them. Life is not a fairytale and he has never treated it as such.

When the two manage to have a chance encounter at the end of the day, triggering their Bonded tattoo, Jungkook wants to do everything he can to find his soulmate again and Taehyung just wants the mark to go away.

恋の予感「koi no yokan」by littlekoophoria [link] 9.1k Words | Ongoing | Explicit

When Hani runs off, she's the reason Jungkook meets the new neighbour.

Taehyung turns his whole world and especially his alpha upside down, something that didn't happen in a long, long while.

Sea Wolf by softbangtanboys [link] 9.1k Words | Ongoing | Explicit

There's a large fish laid out at Taehyung's usual spot at the picnic table. Longer than his forearm, it lies on its side, staring at him with its cold, judgemental eyes.

"Am I being hazed?" Taehyung blinks, bewildered. "Is this a micro-aggression?"

Jungkook flexes his muscles in the most unsubtle manner. "I caught it, hyung. For you."

Metanoia by Taehakoo [link] 8.3k Words | Ongoing | Explicit

"Name?"

"Kim Taehyung."

"Sub gender?"

"..."

Jungkook looks up from his file, arching a brow.

"...Beta."

Jungkook hums and closes his file, "You are hired. Your training starts tomorrow."

Taehyung glances at the 'Strictly no omegas' banner on the wall and back at the CEO.

He nods with a bow. Jungkook waves his hand for him to leave.

Taehyung turns away to walk out but stops when Jungkook starts speaking again, "Do you know why we have a no omega policy here?"

Taehyung shakes his head.

"I hate them." Jungkook sharpens his gaze, "And I would want you to not bring any omega scent here in my company. Do whatever outside of this premises, got it?" He states, sternly.

"Yes, sir." Taehyung says and leaves the office room with trembling hands.

Insatiable? Love? Both by dilfykoo [link] 8.2k Words | Ongoing | Explicit

Taehyung thinks he's insatiable.

He's insatiable when it comes to Jeongguk. He just can't get enough of him. Don't blame him, because who wouldn't be? the alpha is just so good at everything.

Although he doesn't understand why.

Maybe because he just hits the spot right everytime? Or maybe the way he would kiss him or maybe when he kisses his forehead and threads his fingers through his locks.

Yup totally it was just sex.

Little did he know that there was way more than that.

Dangerous Design by AzureWrites22 [link] 5.9k Words | Ongoing | Explicit

Taehyung had never thought he’d find himself in a situation like this. Not in the one thousand years of his existence had he ever thought he’d be confined in the same room as a werewolf, forced to nurture him through his pregnancy.

First Times by mlevy673 [link] 5.3k Words | Ongoing | Teen and Up

Taehyung unfolds his hand and reveals a single chip. The only chip left from the bag that Jeongguk claimed as his own over a week ago. “I love you.”

Jeongguk snorts, then laughs, happy and loud. “I love you too, idiot.”

Taehyung smiles and feeds it to his mate and turns around to wash his hands, but Jeongguk grabs him and instantly turns him around to kiss him. When they part, Taehyung smiles. Jeongguk raises a hand to his ear and twists.

Or, Taehyung and Jeongguk have a lot of firsts as a couple.

Until The Very Last Leaf Is You by nummel [link] 4.2k Words | Ongoing | General Audiences

Taehyung is a troubled writer who rents a little house by the woods. Jungkook is an alpha who would do anything for his pack.

Seasons change, apple trees grow, and, slowly but surely, Taehyung and Jungkook fall in love.

Your Eyes Tell by Mochialert [link] 3k Words | Ongoing | Mature

Old and new, Jeongguk will always find his way back to his lover.

of soft glances & beating hearts by the_sevensins [link] 2.7k Words | Ongoing | Teen and Up

Hi, I’m Kim Taehyung. Nice to meet you, Jeongguk-ssi.” Kim Taehyung? Even the name is pretty and Jeongguk likes the way it rolls off of his tongue.

The alpha keeps staring at him, looks at the way he smiles shyly, the way his eyelashes flutter, the way his tongue darts out to wet his lower lip as it glistens with spit, and before Jeongguk could stop himself, the words tumble out of his mouth softly, in a rough voice.

“You’re so fucking pretty.”

Jeon Jeongguk, a cold and brooding Alpha CEO signs up for a cuddle buddy and ends getting much more — everything that he was missing in his life — in the form of a headstrong and very pretty Omega, Kim Taehyung.

(a huge thanks to @/taestyminyoongi for helping me compile these fics!)

#fest: a/b/o #status: fic reveals

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