#my life is like. so insane and busy rn and drawing is still my Fun Hobby so like

[penaltyboxboxbox]

bring back the f1 drawings 🫣

[strawberrymilkgeorge]

Part Ten. Faces

warnings: swearing, hate comments word count: 4.1k (not including pics)

behind the screen (irl dream x f!reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist

A/N: sorry its late!!!! this feels rushed but i was just too excited to get to some parts!!! also i have had some parts written out for SO long that they dont even feel cute to me anymore so im literally praying to every deity rn that you guys think its cute lmao anyway enjoy!!!!

**********

It had been about a week since Karl's slip up but everything was already more normal than Y/n had expected it to be. Of course, George, Sapnap and Quackity were all very understanding and gave her space while simultaneously reassuring her that she was safe with them. She fully believed it too, she knew she was safe with them and they weren't going to tell anyone her name.

The one unusual thing was now she had a heavy guilt, like someone dropped another sandbag in her stomach, every time Dream texted her. If the others knew, it was only fair that she tell him her name too, right? I mean, it's Dream. Dream! The boy who had quickly slipped his way into her life and, though she wouldn't admit it to Karl or Naomi, her heart.

But how? Does she just come right out and say it or wait until it gets brought up? She hadn't practiced telling anyone her name because she wasn't planning on doing it any time soon. Though, maybe she should have been seeing as she was going to see them all in person in a little over a month.

Regardless of the guilt, Y/n had other things to worry about today; Quackity was coming to visit. Karl had picked him up from the airport and the two of them spent all day catching up and doing who knows what but Y/n still hadn't met him. She was scared. She wasn't scared of Quackity, but scared because it was the first time one of her online friends would be able to put a face to her name and voice.

Y/n shuffled across her living room rug and reached for her phone on the coffee table, looking for some sort of distraction while she waited for them to arrive.

-

Y/n rolled her eyes but smiled, shaking her head as she threw her phone on the couch. Okay, he's right. It's gonna be fine. It's gonna be great. It's just Quackity. If he said anything rude or annoying or anything she could literally just step on him like a bug.

A sharp knock on the front door of her apartment snapped her back into reality. She shook her limbs of nervousness as she made her way to the door, two familiar voices begging to be acknowledged from the other side.

"Let us iiinnn!! Y/nnn!!!!" Karl whined.

After countless times asking the same question, she finally convinced Karl that she was okay with him using her real name in front of Quackity. He clearly still felt guilty about telling the boys her name, asking her multiple times in different ways whether he should call her Y/n or Bugsy in front of the guest. She finally got it through his head that she didn't mind either way.

"Hold on!" she yelled back. She unlocked the door and swung it open to see Karl and Quackity. "So impatient."

"Holy shit, you are tall! Goddammit, I thought that was a joke!"

Y/n laughed shyly at the greeting, looking at Quackity like he was crazy. "Hello to you too. Tried to warn you, dude."

"Yeah but, damn! You're tall and attractive, what the hell?"

"Dude," she said with a warning in her voice. She thought the flirting on Twitter was funny, but in real life she got embarrassed easier and wasn't a fan. "I'm about to kick you out of my house before I even let you in."

This was weird, meeting Quackity before meeting some of her other friends. She loved Quackity, but she had known George much longer and Sapnap even before that. There was no problem with meeting Quackity, she just had no idea how to act since she felt like she hardly knew him.

"Am I allowed to tell people that you're hot?" he asked as he fell on her couch, Karl following right after.

"Quackity!" Y/n yelled, her face heating up at a compliment. "Seriously?"

Karl cackled and shoved Quackity. "Shut up, Alex! No, you're not allowed!"

"Sorry, is that compliment reserved for Dream?" He cackled at his own joke and Y/n's face heated up even more.

"I seriously will kick you out of my house."

"You wanna be flirty on main but not in real life?" Quackity scoffed.

"I'm not flirty on main, you are!" she laughed. "Seriously, don't."

"Okay, sorry, I'll stop," Quackity promised with a laugh in his words.

The three of them fell into easy conversation, mostly because Karl and Quackity were already comfortable around each other at this point. They eventually decided to go to the mall, just to mess around and do something.

*reminder: covid doesn't exist in this fic bc we only want happy things so ignore their masks :P*

Y/n frowned as she unlocked her front door, staring at her phone. She had been so happy with all the fans freaking out about the meetup so she looked at the trending list, expecting to see a flood of keyboard smashes and happiness, but that's not all she ended up seeing. BUGKARLITY was trending, so she scrolled through the tweets and was upset to see not all of them were positive. In fact, when she typed her name in the search bar, lots of the tweets using her name were rather mean.

A few that stuck in her head called her an attention whore and said that her friends only flirted with her because she paid them too. Who on earth would even do that? Some hurt way more than others but she tried to push them aside. It wasn't like this was the first time she had seen comments like this, but they had only gotten worse since her Minecraft date with Dream. She was worried it was cause more hate for her friends and the last thing she wanted was to be the cause of their own hate.

She typed several different messages to Dream, deleting them all after she reread them. She felt like she had to request the same thing from him in a different way. Maybe because she felt like his words meant more, even if he really was just joking like the rest of them. She decided to call him instead of texting.

"Hi!" he chirped happily from the other end.

"Hi, Dream," she said as her chest filled with something warm at the sound of his voice. "How are you doing?"

"Good," he dragged out the word. "How are you?"

"Okay."

"Just okay? What's up?"

"Um," she started, immediately forgetting the words she decided she'd use. "I just... would you mind, uh, not flirting with me so much on, like, Twitter and streams and stuff like that?"

There was a silence before Dream's frantically apologetic words came through. "Yes, of course, oh my gosh. I'm so sorry. If I had known I was making you uncomfortable, I wouldn't have—"

"Wait, no," she interrupted but he must not have heard.

"—said things like... oh gosh. Bug, I'm really sorry—"

"Dream!" she raised her voice, getting him to stop ranting. "You don't make me uncomfortable."

"Oh. Really?"

"Of course not. I actually think it's really..." Cute? Adorable? Endearing? "funny," she decided.

"Oh. Then why...?"

She sighed heavily and explained what she told the others. "So, yeah. I just don't want you guys getting hate because of me so I figure if you stop then... you know."

"Bug..." he said gently. "I'm really sorry. I promise you that I don't—none of us think those things about you."

"I know."

"No, seriously," he said, clearly not believing her. "You need to understand that I..." he paused. "I mean what I say. Always."

Always? she thought. There's a few things he's said that certainly he didn't really mean... like calling her cute?

"I don't joke around like that unless I want to. I wouldn't say things like I say to you unless I really, really, genuinely considered you a close friend and felt comfortable around you. And I do."

Her heart swelled. "Thanks, Dream. I just... maybe don't do it so much for right now? Online, at least," she clarified, not wanting to deprive herself completely of Dream's flirting.

"Yeah, if that's what you want, of course."

"Well, I don't want you to stop flirting with me but, yeah."

He chuckled. "Oh, you do like when I flirt with you?"

She hummed and changed the subject. "Did I interrupt you doing anything?"

"No," his teasing voice dropped and was back to his regular self. "I'm just editing the video we filmed the other day."

"Oh, the 'Minecraft, but you can't touch the floor'?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"Oh," she said, not meaning to sound disappointed. "I'll let you get back to it—"

"No. I mean, you can stay on the phone. Unless you're busy."

She smiled and put her phone on speaker and set it next to her foot on the floor. "I was just gonna paint. So I can stay."

Before she knew it, almost two hours had passed of them sitting in comfortable silence, occasionally speaking to share something with the other before going back to their tasks. It was comforting knowing she didn’t need to speak constantly and could just hang out with Dream.

Y/n's phone rested on the floor next to her, Dream on speakerphone on the other end, only the sounds of his keyboard clicking letting her know he hadn't fallen asleep or hung up. She wasn't sure when they started doing this, staying on the phone even when they had nothing to talk about, but they had done it a few times before. They had talked on the phone and Discord many times but it was usually always with purpose, not usually this silently-enjoying-each-others-presence nonsense. Who was she kidding calling it nonsense, she enjoyed it an embarrassingly insane amount.

She repositioned so she was laying on her stomach as she finished sketching an image that was in her mind.

"Hey, you still there?" Dream asked softly.

"Yeah. Sorry, am I taking away from your sitting in silence time with George?" she joked.

Dream chuckled lightly. "Nah, you're more fun. I was just seeing if you ditched me for Karl yet."

"Nah, you're more fun," she mimed truthfully. "But I'm very focused on this drawing."

"Can I see it when you're done?"

"Don't expect too much. It looks bad."

"If you don't tell me what it is, I can't know how accurate or inaccurate it is."

"Very true..." she trailed off, holding the canvas further away to examine it all at once. She wanted the sketch to be perfect before she made permanent choices with paint. She enjoyed the serenity they maintained even when talking, voices low and delicate like they were keeping secrets but not quite whispering. "Are you almost done editing your video from the other day?"

"Sorta. I'm at the part where you and Sapnap almost died laughing because a ghast knocked George into lava and then Sapnap laughed so hard he fell into lava."

She chuckled, remembering the situation vividly. "That was so funny. The way George screams is so funny."

"Let Naomi know that," he mumbled, causing Y/n to gasp.

"Dream!" she laughed loudly and he joined.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry. It's true though."

"Disgusting!"

A distant voice sounded on the other end and she assumed it was Sapnap. "What do you want for dinner?"

Dream responded with a soft, "Nothing, I'm good."

"Are you talking to Bugsy?"

He must have responded physically because the next sound was Sapnap's very clear, much more lively voice speaking directly into the phone. "Hi, Bugsy!"

"Hi, Sapnap!"

"Can you tell Dream to eat some damn food? This man literally hasn't eaten a single thing all goddamn day."

"Dream," Y/n scolded slowly. "Please eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"I'm not showing you my painting until you eat."

A door closed on the other end and she took that as a sign that Sapnap had left.

"I don't wanna see it anyway. It's probably trash."

"Take that back!" she gasped lightly. She looked at the canvas as she grabbed the first paint color and laughed. It was only a sketch and it was already trash. "Fine, then I won't go on the trip if you don't eat in the next ten minutes."

"That's punishing yourself too though."

"Who says I want to see you?" she asked.

"I never said anything about not seeing me being the punishment."

She had been caught. "It was implied."

"Sure it was."

"It's true though. Who says I wanna see your stupid face?"

He didn't say anything, but an incoming FaceTime call lit up Y/n's phone. A FaceTime call from him.

Her smile dropped. "Clay?"

"Answer it," his voice was lower and her heart started beating faster. Was he really about to show her his face to prove a point? Reveal his biggest secret that only a few close friends knew? To her of all people? She made sure she couldn't be seen in the small window and pressed accept, the voice call ending and the FaceTime call starting.

To her surprise, what came into view wasn't his face, but the logo of the hoodie he was wearing, the simple smile of his merch taunting her. She laughed, the anxiety slowly fading away as it was replaced with a heavy feeling in her stomach. Was she disappointed? Maybe a little, but he teased her into believing she would see him.

"Oh, wow! Dream face reveal! He looks just like his icon, no way!!!"

His chest moved up and down as he laughed, not moving the camera away. "You heard it here first, guys! You've known my face all along, the logo is actually my face!"

She laughed and returned to painting, not paying any more attention to her phone since he was now also showing his ceiling, a small corner of his monitor in frame but nothing else. "I mean it though, if you don't eat, I'm going to be so mad I won't even want to be friends anymore. Or you'll die from malnourishment before we get the chance to meet."

"I doubt it. I'm just not hungry."

"Whatever."

"Oh, hey, so you met Quackity today. How was it?"

"Very scary."

"Yeah?" he asked sympathetically, urging her to explain if she wanted.

"Yeah. But it turned out okay! He didn't act any different so it was fine. It was mostly just awkward. He's also so freaking loud. You would not believe how much louder he and Karl get when they're together."

"I can imagine. Aren't they doing a stream right now or something?"

"Yeah, I think so. I don't wanna watch though, I've had enough of them for the month."

Dream laughed. "How will you deal with them together for New Years'? It'll be for like two weeks."

"Who knows if I'll actually go?"

"Wait, what?" he asked abruptly, not even bothering to hide the disappointment in his voice. His keyboard stopped clicking and she could picture him staring at his phone as if looking at her. "Of course you're going."

"Not if you don't eat food! You have, like, 3 minutes to eat something until I officially am busy doing other things whenever the trip is."

Dream groaned and clicked a few things on his computer before the image on the screen became blurry as he walked through the house, still pointing it at the ceiling. She looked away again and kept painting.

"Quackity's really funny though," she continued. "It was super awkward at first but it was fun to have someone else to help me make fun of Karl."

"Wait, Bug," Dream called out over the sound of wrappers crinkling.

"Hm?" She hummed, continuing to paint.

"Bug," his voice was much softer and he sounded nervous.

She looked at her screen and dropped the paintbrush as she focused on what she saw, grabbing her phone and holding it closer to her face so she could see, still making sure she wasn't in view. All the anxiety from the beginning of the FaceTime suddenly came back and hit her like a truck. Sitting on her screen, waiting to be seen, was Dream. His hood was up, tufts of blonde hair sticking out, and he was standing with his back towards a dark room, the dim light from his pantry making his face just visible.

He held up a cookie in front of his actual, real face. "Are you watching?"

"Y-yea... I... Yeah. I'm watching. Is that really you?"

He nodded once before shoving the cookie in his mouth. "There, I consumed food," he announced, his voice muffled by the cookie. "Now you're legally obligated to come."

"I—What? CLAY! WHAT?"

"What?" he asked innocently as he chewed, walking back to his room and still holding the phone up to show his face. His room light was on, making his face much more visible. If Y/n thought he was attractive in the harsh pantry light, he must have looked like a god in his room lighting, even as pixelated as he was due to the quality of FaceTime. He fell on his bed and Y/n could only gape at his features. He slumped against his headboard, surrounded by roughly a thousand pillows, sporting a small, shy smile as he stared at the screen. "Bug, what?"

She opened her mouth but no words came out. Needless to say, he was unbelievably handsome. Part of the speechlessness was from the shock that he showed his face out of the blue, but obviously, the majority of it was that he was pretty much the most attractive person she'd ever seen. It should be illegal for someone to look that good in a hoodie, especially when pixelated.

"Hmm," he hummed thoughtfully. "Wanna take back what you said earlier?" He bit into another cookie.

"W-what did I say earlier?" Why was she stuttering???

"You said you don't wanna see me and that I'm ugly," he teased.

She paused for too many seconds too long before finally muttering, "you arrogant son of a bitch." He laughed loudly at that.

His eyes crinkled and he threw his head back. So that's what he looks like when he wheezes, she thought to herself, pretty.

Dream shuffled his position on his bed and rested his head on one of his hands. He looked so comfy. "Why are you so quiet, weirdo?" he mumbled.

She set her phone back down and touched her cheeks with her hands and looked away for a moment, grounding herself to the real world for a second. She couldn't process her thoughts when she was staring at a man as gorgeous as Clay. "I don't know, maybe because you gave me no warning before showing me your face? Or because you failed to mention that you're incredibly hot?"

She was so glad she had looked back at her phone or else she would have missed the glorious sight of his cheeks turning bright red before he turned the camera back to his ceiling. "Oh my gosh."

"Aw cute, I made you blush."

"Shut up," he mumbled. "You threatened to not come if I didn't eat something!"

"You didn't have to—you showed me your freaking face just to prove you ate a cookie!! DREAM! I would have believed you if you just said you ate something!" she laughed breathlessly, staring at the phone now for a chance to see him again. "I was joking anyway!"

"Sure you were."

"I was."

"Well, oh well. You deserved to see me anyway."

"Oh, I deserve to see you?" She laughed. "How big is your ego?"

"You know what I meant," he groaned. "You got doxxed by Karl and you met Quackity in person. And you've clearly had a bad day because of all the hate and stuff. You've done a lot of stressful things recently and you deserved to be let in on a secret too."

He was so sweet. Like, tooth-rotting, Halloween candy stash hidden under a kid's bed, upset tummy sweet. She also couldn't get over the fact that he was a million times cuter when he was shy like he was being now, his voice soft and unsure. It contrasted vastly with the confident, loud-mouthed Dream everyone usually saw, though she liked that Dream too. She wished he could show his face for just one more second to see what he looked like shy. Probably sickeningly adorable.

This was it, wasn't it? The chance she had been waiting for to tell him her name? He just let her in on his biggest secret, now he was the one deserving to be let in.

"Y/n," she said with a confident, but soft voice.

There was a long pause. "W-what?"

"Y/n."

He understood the second time immediately. "Y/n..." he tested, the smile in his voice clear as day. "I like it."

"Yeah, well, I guess you deserved to know the secret too."

"I would have been content never knowing."

"Really?" She didn't believe him. He seemed like the type to never be satisfied, always looking for something better. Not in a greedy way, but in a motivational, goal-oriented big achiever way.

"Really," he hummed. "I already feel like you're too good to be true so I wouldn't be surprised if you weren't a real person."

It was silent as she tried to collect her thoughts.

"Bug? You okay?"

"Yeah, I... it's just a lot."

"Sorry."

"No, it's not you. Well... I don't know. I just don't know what I'm supposed to say when you say things like that," she admitted.

He paused. "I think you always have the perfect responses when I say things like that."

"What do I usually say?" She smiled shyly, pulling her hoodie up to her lips.

"You usually call me a nerd or say you can't stand me. 'Oh my gosh I cannot stand you'," he mimicked before laughing.

"What? How is that the perfect response to you saying you can't believe I'm real?"

He hummed and she could practically hear him shrugging. "Because it's a classic Bug response. It's a hundred perfect you. So yeah, it's perfect."

She was silent, trying to compose herself before she exploded.

"By the way, check Twitter."

"Why, are you bragging about me calling you hot?" she teased, hoping to make him blush like she had earlier. It worked.

"Oh my gosh, no. Just look."

She clicked her home button and navigated to the app, her feed instantly flooding with the same similar messages.

"Oh, my gosh," she muttered, her fingers flying away as she typed out her own tweet in response to the love.

Dream chuckled from the other end and when she asked him why, he vaguely said that George texted him but didn't explain further.

"Um, I have to go," she said mournfully. "Karl and Quackity are coming over again."

"Booooo," he pouted.

"Sorry, you aren't the only man in my life," she teased before instantly regretting her choice of words. Too flirty, Y/n, she thought to herself.

"Hm, shame. Am I at least at the top of the list?"

She bit her lips, wanting desperately to repeat what she had told him on their Minecraft date. In the end, she gave in. "I always mean what I say too," she started. "You're my main bitch, baby."

Dream made some sort of sound, a mix of a scoff and a whine but Y/n didn't comment on it, just glowing with heat in her cheeks.

"Leave before I don't let you," he said softly and the heat only grew.

"Goodnight, Dream," she pressed, the tone in her voice letting him know he was being a tease. "Thanks for... thanks for your tweet. And for everything you said earlier."

"Of course. Sorry that you have to see those kinds of things a lot."

"It's okay when I have people like you."

"People like me? What does that mean?"

"Just.... people like you." Cute, sweet, kind, genuine people who make her heart flutter.

She could hear his smile in his words and she figured he knew the unspoken words in her thoughts, the ones she was saying without saying. "Okay. Goodnight, Y/n."

"Goodnight."

**********

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[nyrator]

still feel like venting and rambling into spacee

broke up with kresna yesterday, he still hasn’t responded to me at all. I’m worried, but don’t want to keep pestering him, either. I know he really wanted us to be a thing, but I don’t think I’m built for a relationship. Maybe we can try again once the border is open and see how things go in person. But right now, we’re too frustrated and too weighed down by our own personal lives to harmonize well at the moment, and it’s not like I haven’t brought up the issue several times as well to brace him for it. Maybe it’ll just be a refreshing breather for the two of us to help get things back on track, but he can take things very personally. I hope I haven’t lost my best friend. I really, really hope I haven’t lost him for good.

He really is a good person. I can’t really give him what he needs right now- I just end up giving him more problems, and I hope this was the right decision. It felt like the only decision I had. I’m scared at how dangerous it might turn out to be. I still plan on treating him the same, if he chooses to accept it, he’s still my best friend like I said, but I feel it’s going to be a lot harder on him and I hope he can make it through this.

My boss texted me today and told me they’re closing the store down next month, which is sad. That floral shop was very good to me, I remember my boss wanting to downsize and just have me and her running the business together, if I ended up not moving to Canada. Sad that won’t happen, but glad she got a new job as a substitute teacher. They’re pretty sure I can get a manager job at any craft store if I applied (I’m doubtful), and I live somewhat close to some big ones (Joanns/Michaels/Hobby Lobby/etc), so maybe I’ll start applying there. I can’t imagine a lot of the smaller stores staying open (what is it, 20 percent of them went out of business so far since covid?), so probably not worth it to even apply to them. Will have to get a car, too. Have $10,000 in savings, theoretically it can last me all of 2021 without including spending it on a car.

Speaking about my budget out loud.

$125 a month in rent, ~$35 in electric, $65 on internet, and say ~$10 for four-ish loads of laundry a month = $235 on basic living.

Groceries, roughly $30 a month I’d say, I tend to not need much, and any food is covered under food stamps. ~$65 a month on cats. = ~ $330 a month I spend on average, plus any luxury items like video games that I might buy.

Right now I still receive about $220 every two weeks from unemployment, but that can disappear at any moment. Rent is income based, I don’t know if they took it with my unemployment or without since it was right when it got re-extended somehow, probably from covid. I was told $25 a month (I know, that’s absolutely insane), but the paperwork says $125 (still insane but I’ll take what I can get, rent is the one good thing I have going for me right now, thank you income-based senior apartment).

I also applied for another credit card, but still inexperienced at building credit- hopefully it builds quick enough where if I need a car, I can get a decent payment plan

In short, I can get by for a year without a job, theoretically, but I’d rather not. And the sooner I get a car, the better, probably- driving makes me extremely, extremely anxious, though, but I can’t really walk anywhere safely either thanks to the highways/interstates. There’s biking, but most things are on a highway uphill... And always the bus if they still run, but the bus I take is very limited on where it goes...

Another stimulus would be great (ah, politics), if only to help with the bigger purchases. Still like the idea of UBI too, even though it’s highly unlikely we’ll get anything like it any time soon.

I also thought about going back to school, maybe online courses, get something in computers. One for personal use- to make things like video games, but also to see if I can get a career in it. I know it’s a field that is in need of programmers, I just wonder if I’d be able to do it (or afford it...), feels like a big commitment for me.

Been in weird mode post-break up. Part of me does feel refreshed, like I can focus on myself again, on my projects. Another friend is trying to inspire our group to work on our fangames again before the New Year, and I feel like I might work on you&me again, finally. Maybe Ploom, too, or Skatered concept art. Maybe I’m just filling my head with these ideas to cope and not think about the terrible thing I’ve done, I dunno. Today depression hit a lot harder than yesterday.

Still playing with the idea of becoming a vtuber legitimately ever since an artist I followed became one, maybe as Lave, maybe as a completely original character and become totally anonymous about it. I’d probably do pre-recorded videos rather than streams, I’d imagine. I’m not a good speaker- not a lot to talk about, and I have a lisp and trip over my words a lot. I’d probably just play my favorite games (Yume Nikki, Cave Story, F-Zero GX, etc) and keep a shy, somewhat informational persona, or something, instead of the energetic reactionary ones I usually see. Beyond games, not sure- Q&As, if the audience is there for it, otherwise, hm. Maybe art recordings, I guess. I’d like to play music, but good ol’ dmca stuff still exists.

Chances are very slim this actually happens, and I feel like a dork for even entertaining the idea, but it’s something to think about to kill time, I suppose.

Healthwise, slowly getting back on track, but it varies. Starting to eat 1,500 calories again (mostly through chocolate, though), bought some foods to try, but no idea how to prepare. Today was a low energy kind of day, took three naps throughout it and still feel like laying in bed.

My sleep is still something- I’m always fascinated by sleep and parasomnia stuffs that I kind of want to experiment, but for my health I probably shouldn’t. One night recently I had a strange dream, more of a feeling, mixed with sleep paralysis and other things I shouldn’t mention. Got a few entries this month for my dream diary again, not sure if it’s from my crazy sleep schedules, or from actively keeping the diary again, or what.

Still on the fence about sharing the diary, if only because of how embarrassing it is. Maybe through RN, for some reason I like exposing those kinds of thoughts through RN to vent, I guess- it’s fun to embarrass Lave and not fun to embarrass me, even though that makes no sense. I don’t think I could draw those dreams, though, so maybe a written blog post on the RN blog...? I dunno.

Also slowly getting back into the ACNH life- realized I’m still missing a lot of furniture though, made a wishlist but haven’t really played with anyone lately, wish the Nooklings would actually sell new items (come on Nintendo, add another upgrade, please- I do wonder if more items than I think are limited in color selection per island, like the Nook items/surfboards). Might have to make a separate post for it laterr. Also updated my wardrobe in the game finally, not 100% on it (the skirt mainly, maybe the hat too) but overall it looks okay. Not sure why I’m such a huge fan of moccasins but pink ones are great (I’ve only owned brown ones irl). Still would like to own a hat like that, too... especially now that my hair is thinning more and more

also recipes are still a pain to get, made a checklist and it looks like I’m still missing roughly a third of the recipes, rippp (one day, giant teddy bear, wooden bookshelf, cool moon chair thing, etc...)

[craby-bouquet]

So I don’t like talking too personal on this blog (or on the internet as a whole) but this week has been so great so far! Like the last few weeks were absolute sh=t, my anxiety and depression were really getting in my way (especially my anxiety, That hasn’t been this bad in a very long while so I didn’t know what to do with myself) to the point where I slept in my mom’s bed and stuff. But this week? Amazing. I haven’t had any anxiety?? Or at least nothing too bad. And I didn’t stay home from school the entire week and I’m not feeling like staying home tomorrow either. Like literally this is amazing and I’m so happy with myself and with everything right now. I even got some writing done like who am I??? 

Anyway I thought I’d update ya’ll on what I’m currently working on since I haven’t really posted anything in a while:

Obviously I’m working on Trivia, I started on chapter 8 and will post 6 and 7 very shortly (I just need to check them on mistakes and stuff yk) I’m also Almost at a point were I can start working on some of the other member’s stories which I find very exciting.

Crowned heads is kind of quiet rn, I do have some really good ideas for it and I really want to continue it but I just don’t really have the motivation for it rn. I have decided however, that as soon as I do start on that I’m going to do it in the order I want. What I used to do was writing the first chapter for all of them, and then writing the second for all of them etc. but what I’m gonna do from now on is write which I have inspiration for. Which may mean that suddenly we get 3 chapters in a row for like Mingyu’s story or whatever Because I was inspired to write for him.

I’m also feeling very inspired for my own personal story. One that I’ve besically been working on since I was nine, and finally got confident enough in my writing to actually write it instead of just brainstorming for it. Idk when I’ll start posting for that, but you can find the blog I made for it in the tags.

I believe that’s all the on going series I have right now, here are a bunch of loose stories I’m slowly working on:

Unknown title, Choi Seungcheol ft. friend!Jeon Wonwoo, fantasy!AU. (based on a drawing I found. I’m not very far on it yet, but I think it will be a fun story once I finish it) The winter queen has been kidnapping people from all the other seasons, mainly men. No one seemed to have noticed until your fiance Seungcheol gets taken away. You run after him, right from the border of Spring, into the land of Winter. This is where you meet Wonwoo, a mysterious guy who says he might be able to help you get Seungcheol back.

Unknown title, Lee Jihoon, 1960 detective!AU. You live in Houston, Texas, Texas has been know for the harsh police system and one of the only states that still allow the death penalty, after a night out you come back home only to find out that your best friend’s husband has been killed. You were the only one who saw a strange figure leave the house. Will the detective figure out who the killer was? Or will all the leads from his soon to be lover lead to no ends at all?

Unknown title, Xu Minghao, CEO!AU. You work in a busy company at a departement with a great team leader. That is, untill that Team leader decides to quit a a new one gets assigned. Xu Minghao is strict and ruthless. You can’t stand him, and yet there’s something about him that makes you feel all warm inside. You just figure it’s your hate for him, boiling up inside you.

Till death do us part, Lee Seokmin, Fantasy!AU, Thriller. (This one is gonna be... kinda messed up dont mind me) Your late husband Seokmin, had ended his own life a couple of moths ago. Obviously, you were still shocked, sad and angry. That is, untill you see him again, after a nasty car accident you were a wittness of. That’s when you figure you actually are going crazy. Or are you? At some point you figure out that where people die, he appears. This gives you a briliant idea for how you can keep seeing him...

Unknown title, Lee Chan, wizard!AU. After your mom dies you are forced to move in with your father. A man you haven’t seen since you were, like, 3 years old. Your mom used to tell you stories about how he was crazy, and possibly dangerous for you to be around and that’s why she decided to divorce him. And as you arrive at his strange house, you can see exactly what she means by that. The man is insane. On top of that, you have to go to this stupid new high school, with this bratty guy Chan who was acting shitty to you from day one. And then seeing him again in your father’s house? This place couldn’t get worse. Untill you get to know Chan, and your father, and the secret they keep together.

Yeah so that’s about it. You’ll see that coming at some point in the future, please look forward to it, I know I am very excited to start all this again! 

masterlist, amongst other things, can be found in the tags!

[yeolkisses]

All the evens

Wkbpwbjpe Maddy you’re trying to kill me I swear (but thank you this kept me busy lol and it was fun to do)

2 - do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

Yessss I love it. Cold air is a blessing.

4 - how do you take your coffee/tea?

For coffee, I put a ton of creamer in. Tea is just a no for me.

6- do you keep plants?

Yes! A bonsai, a couple cacti, and an aloe vera.

8 - what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

Does writing count??? I’m not very artistic 😅 but I consider myself a decent writer and poet. I feel like words are the easiest way to explain yourself so others can understand you better. It’s specific. Painting and drawing, etc. are also good too of course, I’m just not any good at them 😂 and I feel like they’re a bit more questionable. They have different meanings to people. But that’s what allows people to connect over them; seeing different viewpoints of the same thing. It kind of shows what type of person you are.

10 - do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

My side or my back. I can’t do stomach 😂 it’s just too uncomfortable for me.

12 - what’s your favorite planet?

Hm. I don’t really know. I guess Neptune or Uranus??? They’re pretty.

14 - if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

TBH I don’t even know who my best friend is anymore lately Well it would probably be a bit of a mess 😂 but messy in an organized way??? We’re pretty tidy people, at least when it comes to our rooms, but we (or I, at least) am still a little bit cluttery. I think it would look nice. Not necessarily modern, but just kind of homely.

16 - what’s your favorite pasta dish?

Spaghetti & meatballs OR chicken alfredo. Probably spaghetti and meatballs though.

18 - tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

God they just brought it up today. I swear I’m not as stupid as they make me seem though!!!!! So one time at lunch (like YEARS ago) they were talking about sports and I wasn’t really paying attention (because I’m not a sports person) and they asked me something and I think I said, “I’m not into baseball.” And of course with my luck they were talking about football. So :)))) There are always exaggerations about how I must think a homerun is in basketball, etc.

20 - what’s your favorite eye color?

I mean…it doesn’t really matter to me?? I don’t like thinking about eyes which you already know, so I’ve never really considered a favorite eye color. But I hateeeee the colored contacts people wear, especially when they wear two different colors (one of my friend’s ex-boyfriends used to wear one silver and one bright green one and it was hideous). Anyway, if I had to choose a color, I guess I’d say brown. It’s under-appreciated sometimes 🙂

22 - are you a morning person?

It fluctuates. Sometimes I am, sometimes I’m not. Especially if the reason I’m waking up is to go to something I don’t want to do, then I am NOT a morning person at all.

24 - is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

Honestly, probably not. I just really don’t trust people to keep their lips zipped or to not judge me.

26 - what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

My oldest pair of shoes rn are probably the ones I’m wearing (or at least they look the oldest since I wear them pretty much daily). They’re black and white cheetah print converse, with cheetah eyes on the side. They’re super comfortable.

28 - sunrise or sunset?

Both are nice, but I like sunsets better. It’s the end of the day, time to rest, and it just looks cooler imo. More fiery.

30 - think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

In all honesty, I don’t think so. I get scared easily, but I wouldn’t say I’ve been truly terrified.

32 - tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

Already done~

34 - tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

Done~

36 - which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?

Oof I don’t know. American Authors maybe? I feel really happy and free rn.

38 - tell us about your pet peeves!

Oh boy. I could go on and on. One: the sound of people chewing. It’s awful but you can’t tell them it’s annoying because that’s rude but it makes me. Want. To. Hit. Someone. It is SO irritating. Another thing: my brother doesn’t flush the toilet :)))) and that drives me insane. Another one: people who spit on you when they talk. People in band who, rather than not playing on the parts they don’t know and working on them later, just play whatever they want and mess everyone up. People who don’t put things back where they found them. People who nitpick every little thing about something that someone else did. I could just keep going on.

40 - think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?

I’m just gonna choose the ring I wear all the time. I got it at the fair, it was only $12 😂 it doesn’t really hold much meaning, I just like having it so I can fidget with it when I’m nervous or something.

42 - do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

I actually haven’t gotten to experience any coffee shops :/ just Starbucks lol. But once I’m on my own I think I’ll check more places out.

44 - when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

I honestly don’t know. It’s been some time.

46 - tell us the worst pun you can think of.

I’m not good with punssss! I don’t know. I can’t think of anything.

48 - what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

Hm I was afraid of a lot of things and I still am. I’d say pretty much the same things, more or less. Things that aren’t even closely real, things that my mind just comes up with. And now I’m actually scared of more things, I think. Realistic situations and whatnot.

50 - what’s an odd thing you collect?

I collect rocks, but I think that’s pretty normal, right?? I also collect piggy banks and hedgehog knick knacks.

52 - what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

God I don’t even know. I guess maybe the spongebob ones, the Patrick ones.

54 - who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

Oh wow. Hm. I really don’t know. I really, truly, do not know.

56 - what are some things you find endearing in people?

Hmm…it differs from person to person I suppose. But I guess, like…the way people smile, the different ways people laugh when they’re truly laughing (even if they find it obnoxious it’s a part of them and it’s just kinda cute and funny), when a person who doesn’t usually dress up dresses up all fancy and gets all shy about it. I don’t know. Just little things I guess.

58 - who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

Oof I don’t really know. I think Morgan would be the vodka aunt. But wine mom…I don’t know.

60 - do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

Yessss I do. Hm, favorites…it depends on the mood I’m in, I suppose. When I was little though I really liked Shel Silverstein’s poems.

62 - do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

Nopeeee I don’t really like juice 😕

64 - what color is the sky where you are right now?

Kind of a soft baby blue? Idk but it’s quite nice.

66 - what would your ideal flower crown look like?

Baby blue eyes and daisies, I think. Just blue flowers in general would be good enough for me 👍

68 - what’s winter like where you live?

Not cold enough!!!!!!!! Although this year it snowed more than I expected it to. Still, it’s not very cold and we don’t get much rain 😕

70 - have you ever used a ouija board?

No, and despite my belief that it’s absolute bull crap, I would never use one because I’m a wuss.

72 - are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?

It depends, some things I remember and some things I don’t.

74 - describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

Oof well I’ve pretty much mentioned all my IRL friends and they’re kinda predictable 😂 so I’ll choose an Internet friend. They’re extremely sweet, and do so, so much for other people, even when they’re already so busy with their own life. They’re always caring and genuine, and put others before themselves (even though I wish they wouldn’t sometimes). They’re super patient, which is good because sometimes I can be a bit slow 😂 and just so, so amazing and beautiful and talented and hardworking and they deserve to go far. I hope they’ll keep holding on strong and keep on fighting. And I hope they truly know how much I admire them. (Damn I kinda described all of my internet friends there?????? I had a specific one in mind though I swear)

76 - is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

Yes 😂 homework

78 - are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

I’m on the fence actually 😕 it’s not like I hate them with a burning passion or anything but I think they’re kinda milking it for all it’s worth at this point, which usually happens with movies.

80 - what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

3 white walls and a light bluish tealish wall (with a border of music notes in silver paint on the teal wall). I got to redecorate my room a couple years ago for my birthday and I love the color blue but I didn’t want something that would darken the room (although I keep my curtains mostly closed lol). The music notes were from a piece I played that year in the school band, it was my favorite.

82 - are/were you good in school?

I’m a procrastinator but I do get good grades 😁 I’ve never had an -A or lower. And I’m kind of a teacher’s pet 😂

84 - are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

Definitely not. I don’t see the point in basically paying someone to stab you with a needle over and over again. If I did get one, I think it would be a clef heart or 아리엘.

86 - do you like concept albums? which ones?

I can’t really think of any specific ones (???? maybe I’m just being dumb ????) but I do like the idea of them.

88 - are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

Ehhh, I’m not exactly an art buff, so idk what to say. I think that as long as it carries emotion and makes the viewer feel something or think of something, then it must be pretty good. The style doesn’t define what story it tells, it just helps set the mood.

90 - talk about your one of you favorite cities.

I haven’t really traveled so I’m gonna have to skip this 😶

92 - are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

Honestly I prefer just butter on my pasta but if I’m putting on cheese then I’m going all the way.

94 - who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

Well I mean idk if it counts since I know her online so I’ll go with the closest one that I know irl. My aunt just had her birthday, it was a couple days ago.

96 - do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

I usually procrastinate them 😅 because it always asks me when I’m in the middle of doing something and I don’t wanna stop what I’m doing.

98 - when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

I don’t remember…but probably not 😂

100 - if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

The past. I’d like to do some things differently. Be a better person. Make myself become a better person and have better habits. The future can still be changed but my past is set in stone. Although, if I go 5 years back, I might not end up on this site, so overall I’d rather just stay in the present 😂

[whatevenis2016-blog]

I just want my life to be different lol

I've been trying to find a new job bc I am so sick of my current job. It seems like my boss has no respect for me, bc it's a small business I don't even make minimum wage, I have to work every weekend and get a huge amount of shit if I want a weekend off (like once a year I ask), I'm a trainer so I always work with shitty new people and my boss doesn't even appreciate all the crap I have to deal with, it's food service which I obviously don't want to do forever or even much longer bc fuck that, I've worked there for almost 3 years which is way too long at a job like this. I want a different job that pays more, where I only have to work Monday through Friday, and work morning through early afternoon. At least until I go back to school in the fall. But like there only like 2 people left a work that I even like working with. So it's just a bunch of little thing that are all piling up until I hate work. And my coworker is also trying to find another job but she's afraid that if she gets a new it'll be worse than our current one. But idk maybe she feels that way but I don't think there could be a job that I like less than my current situation. Bc even if the job kind of suck, the pay will still be good, the hours will still be good. Ya know? I think it'll be fine, I just need out, I don't even care. I also hate school and don't want to go back. Like I'm regretting my whole school plan. Going straight from high school into college, first bad move. I should have taken a break bc now I feel like I'm dying. Going to a 4 years school instead of a 2 year, second bad move. I wish I had just gone to a 2 year school, got a degree in business and I would be done by now, like holy shit. I'm currently going to school for Studio Arts which I know is stupid. Who gets an art degree? Retards. That's who. But my "emphasis" is Graphic Design. So like obviously not as bad as like a painter, cuz then I would really be screwed in the employment department. But like the thing is, I don't really like Graphic Design? Okay maybe that's not right... It's more like I don't think I would like other people telling me how to make "art" for my job..? Cuz I wouldn't be able to make things I like, or do things my way bc it will be for someone else. Ya know? So I feel like I would either hate doing it, or my clients who hate my work. So like I'm feeling like I'm going to minor in Business like a smart person. I'm gonna go ham on that and then just finish my major up but really focus on my minor. Like I really just want to get a normal "desk job" tbh, work Monday through Friday. I feel like most people would hate that, or be their worst case scenario but I would be so down for that. Do the same thing everyday, have every afternoon and weekend off? Sounds great. And then in my spare time I can do all the things I actually enjoy. And I could possibly do some freelance graphic design in my spare time. But I really don't think I want to try and make a living out of that. Or I could try my hand in greeting cards and stuff cuz there's quite a bit of money in that market. I also want my appearance to be different. I don't like my current hair colour and I don't really have the time or money to do anything with it. I also chopped all my hair off over a year ago and I've finally decided to grow it out. But it's very short so it will take an insane amount of time to grow back. And it's at like an awkward length and I don't like the way it looks but the catch is, if I cut it to make it look better I would be losing length. In the long run in that worth it? Probs not. So I'm just kind of dealing with hair that I over all don't like. But once it gets to a decent length and I have money I'm gonna get extensions again. And my hair will look nice and I'll be happy. I've also gotten very lazy with my makeup which also makes me sad bc I don't feel that great about myself. I also want to buy all new cloths (bc I'm a girl and that's what we do) but I'm broke for 2 reasons, one bc I don't get payed enough at work and 2 bc my dad hasn't been working since he's had surgery. So I've been trying to save as much money as possible to we can, you know, live? And stay in our house? So in essence meaning not really having money for makeup or hair stuff or a lot of other stuff. Actually my work shoes are so fucked rn and people literally make fun of me but you know what? Fuck them. I don't have money to be buying a pear or shoes just for work? Plus I hate my job so that also adds to me not buying shoes for there. I also really want to get fake nails bc I love them. They look so nice and they make me feel good but again no money. Plus I fractured my finger a while ago and lost a finger nail. Sooo if I did get fake nails I would just be missing one nail lmao. When I finally have money one of the first things I'm going to do is buy a desktop computer. But it's gonna be crazy experience, I already know. Bc I want at least 2 monitors. One for graphic design (school and freelance) I think it will really help me get better bc I'll be able to work on stuff outside of school. It I'll be a touch screen and be adjustable. In addition to the monitor for graphic design I will need all the software. Then a second more standard monitor. I want both Windows and Mac on both monitors. I want to be able to game using both monitors. I want them to be able to use them individually and also simultaneously. Eventually I want to get all the stuff I need to live stream, so webcam, mics, headset, speakers. But like idk what I want to do first... Cuz I really want the set up to game.but I should probably get the graphic design stuff first... Or the other option would be to get the gaming monitor and cpu, then get both Windows and Mac and then get a drawing tablet thing instead of a touch screen monitor? Maybe probably. That would probably be the less expensive route.. and then just using external hard drives probably to keep my gaming and graphic design stuff separate. I also want to draw more and be better at drawing. But like I never have any motivation or inspiration to draw and or don't have time to do it. But maybe if I get the computer set up that I want, that will help with motivation. And if my work doesn't suck that much maybe I could sell my works online? That would be cool. I also want to get back into jewelry making and that's something else I could potentially sell which would be cool. Overall: No fucking idea. Like nothing about my life is how I want it to be except for my friends. I have awesome friends and a great boyfriend. But like I never get to see them bc of work and my dad stuff so even that sucks. But I have a plan. I know what I want, I just have to get there. I'll get there. Someday The thing is I know I can get to where I want eventually but like I don't want to be that old when it happens. Like it would suck to not be able to do all the fun things I want to do when I'm young bc I just can't bc of money or shitty jobs or school or so on. And like better late than never? Idk idk I don't know how I feel about all this. I just want to be happy

[princettegil]

I'm feeling like poop rn so I'mma ramble a bit