#my least favorite parts is having o watch 20+ straight episodes of a fight scene spanning 3 in show minutes

[cinnamontoads]

alabasta was really like the first Slightly Long arc/saga in one piece to me and they only get longer from here but man it’s just as much of a slog as i remember if we’re being honest

[tsuki-sennin]

Mina-san, bonne lecture~! (Tsuki recaps his feelings about Kamen Rider Saber, a personal essay.)

So, Saber... what a wild ride it's been, huh? Just a quick heads up, this is very long and rambling, and also contains spoilers for everything in Saber. It's fine if you don't wanna read all this, but I just wanted to get my thoughts out there.

TL:DR, Kamen Rider Saber's an undercooked hot mess I absolutely adore, warts and all.

Speaking as objectively as possible, it's a 6/10. Probably closer to a 5 than a 7... it's not great: All the different plot elements are cluttered and weirdly paced; character focus is disjointed and clearly biased toward certain characters, leaving great ones like Kento and Ogami, interesting ones like Kamijo and Hayato, and underdeveloped ones like Sophia and especially the Shindais in the dust; not to mention its balance of comedy and drama is off, and while both are very effective, there's a lot of mood whiplash that can take you out of the story. I also feel like a lot of the easily avoidable character conflict could've been easily resolved, even in universe, by simple conversations. Be careful Fukuda, I think Inoue might sue you if he finds out you've been biting his style and doing it worse.

Rider shows have a very frustrating tendency to drop cool form ideas and not do anything with them, and I don't think it's ever been more the case than with Saber. There's a similar argument to be made with the majority of Heisei Phase 2 after Gaim, but wow. The suits are expensive to make without just straight up recycling everything, I get that, but man, I really wanted to see more Wonder Rider forms. How come Touma got all the fun, eh? Of note are the Blades King of Arthur forms (which look amazing by the way), Espada's Jaaku Dragon forms (one of which I even drew last night), even the non-elemental random Wonder Ride Books all have awesome design elements that go tragically unused. Even if the other Swordsmen just kinda have the ones they do get to use slapped onto them, that's at least something. Touma also just straight up only uses Diago Speedy twice and never again. You have cool props guys, don't waste them like that!

Speaking of waste, Espada, goddamn. Since most of the Wonder Ride Books are Story Type and he needs one very specific Story Book to transform, he doesn't get much of... anything, really! No Wonder Rider forms like Blades, Lamp Do Cerberus being exclusive to Ganbarizing, only getting to use the Ride Gatriker like once, he even spends the second and third arcs as a completely different Rider, then once he comes back he doesn't get a King of Arthur-granted upgrade or even a Necrom Espada form. ...at least, not yet anyway. I'm holding out hope for Espada x Necrom and the eventual Saber V-Cinemas. Extra Rider stans, we will be well respected someday.

The Unreal Engine CGI used for fights in early Chapters was pretty good but wow it feels disconnected and they really drop it quick. I feel like if the animators had more freedom to use as many forms as they want, we'd have gotten a lot more mileage out of the books beyond... decoration basically. I actually really liked the CGI sequences, they felt creative and were fun to follow along with.

The soundtrack is pretty great on its own and conveys what it needs to, but they seriously overplay the orchestral themes. It honestly feels kind of... stock at times. I think my favorite parts of the score are when it winds down, since it feels a lot more natural and lets the cinematographers and actors speak for themselves.

As awesome as I think Falchion's design and the Mumeiken Kyomu are, The Phoenix Swordsman and the Book of Ruin comes up short as its own standalone thing. You'd think 30 or so minutes of non-stop action would be awesome, and it almost is? It's as good as a typical episode of the series with a higher action budget, but it kinda drags on a bit too long; and although I think Emotional Dragon looks cool, it feels a bit tacked on. Coming off of the incredible Zero-One REAL×TIME, it doesn't give you much room to breathe, which Rider films are typically great at handling. I also thought the resolution for the kid's subplot was kinda forced. He does an okay job at acting considering his age and doesn't overstay his welcome, but I really don't see how 20 minutes of violence and action is enough to convince him to be brave enough to go play with the other kids. 5/10, it's closer to a 4 than a 6 and I think that maybe Zero-One should've stood on its own if they really had to push back Kiramager Bee-Bop Dream because of the pandemic.

Alright, with all that said... As imperfect and undercooked Saber was, like Ghost I can consider it a personal favorite, 10/10. Call it a guilty pleasure if you want, but holy hell it's just the show I needed. Takuro Fukuda has a talent for creating fun, wonderful characters and utterly fascinating worldbuilding and concepts. It's a shame he doesn't utilize them fully, but hey!

The action and fight choreography are pretty top notch as usual. Lots of beautiful shot composition and set pieces, and plenty of great angles to help keep up with the extra busy action. I love watching the suit actors perform and they deserve all the respect in the world for their hard work in those hot, sweaty, and heavy costumes. Their visual design is also top notch, with lots of unique and fascinating forms and cool weapons I desperately want to play with despite being broke, all with spectacular finishers and hype jingles with the voice of Akio motherfucking Ohtsuka calling them out. A real feast for the eyes. Not a single bad suit among them, yeah I said it, fight me.

The crossover specials are soooo good too.

-I went over my feelings on the Zenkaiger crossover episodes in a separate post (good luck finding that btw), but to sum it up, they were great character moments for Zox and the Shindai siblings with lots of great screwball comedy and some good old fashioned meta humor.

-The Ghost crossovers are great little side stories all about how Daitenku Temple somehow had the Ghost Ijunroku Wonder Ride Book? I genuinely have no idea why it was there, or how Makoto had the Specter Gekikou Senki, and as far as I remember neither of their origins are explained. Did Luna or Tassel hand them off to them and told them to wait for a sword guy? And why do these generic French Revolution Gamma villains working for Danton get their asses handed to them so easily by Kanon, who literally just became a Rider? I thought that Makoto deciding to adopt all the Kanon clones into his family was both hilarious and adorable though; considering all the crap they went through, I think it was a good ending to this plot. Gimme Espada x Necrom already Toei/Bandai/Fukuda/whoever I need to yell at, give Kento things to do, I beg you.

-I haven't actually seen Super Hero Senki since it's not available for subbing yet, but apparently there's a Journey to the West plot starring the Taros and Ohma Zi-O and I want to see that so badly.

Tokyo Ska Paradise Orchestra? Yoohei Kawakami? A match made in heaven, that's what they are. All of their themes are absolute bangers. All of them. Almighty, Kamen Rider Saber, Sparks, Taju Rokou, all excellent and empowering pieces. Rewrite the Story, Will Save Us, and The Story Never Ends are all amazing inserts done by the cast, and it makes me wish we had even more of them to help break up the monotony of the score.

The characters are what easily make this show such a great watch though. For the most part, they have great personalities and chemistry, consistently fun and interesting scenes, well acted and... sometimes well-written development, and deeply investing personal stakes.

Narrating it all is the delightfully eccentric Tassel/Viktor, portrayed by Romanesque Ishitobi "TOBI" of the Paris-based Les Romanesques. I was utterly confused by his presence at first, wondering why there needed to be a narrator when the story would've been perfectly fine without it. He even got a special spot in the opening despite having no stake in the plot despite seeming to live in Wonderworld, who the hell is this guy? But then I thought "OH MY GOD, HE'S THE MAIN VILLAIN USING TOUMA AS THE HERO IN HIS OWN TWISTED STORY, THE BASTARD". I thought it'd be some subversion of expectations, true form, "That Was His Mistake!" shit. Trust me, it made a lot more sense in my head. I'm very happy that they didn't do that, as I grew to love having male Yuuka Kazami as my narrator, and when he was shown to be actually important by being friends with Yuri my mind was blown. And doubly so when I realized just how deeply necessary to the plot he really is.

Rintaro/Blades is up there as one of my all time favorite secondary Riders, since his curiosity is always consistently funny and adorable, his forms are all gorgeous and impressively designed, his relationships with Mei and Touma are absolutely sweet and compelling to see unfold, and his arcs about becoming willing to call out those he views as family and coming to terms with his feelings of inadequacy and both moving past and using them to strengthen himself are always great lessons to pass on to kids. ...even if they took like 10 goddamn episodes to be conveyed in what could've been 5, but hey, Takaya Yamaguchi does a stand-up job all throughout. Rider veteran Eitoku's refined, almost logical movements with the Suiseiken Nagare absolutely beautiful to see in action, and his final form having the same white and blue color scheme as Zooous's base form is an amazing touch I don't see appreciated enough.

Mei Sudo's also absolutely wonderful, serving as the perfect emotional core of the story, responsible for most of the funniest lines, sweetest character moments, and some of the most deceptively compelling drama. Asuka Kawazu brings the perfect energy for such a dynamic and well rounded character, and absolutely nails her scenes of quiet turmoil. As much as I would've loved her to become a Rider, I don't think she really needed to. She's already done so much to help, and as cool as it would've been to see her pick up a sword and fight alongside them as Espada, Calibur, or Falchion she's already endeared herself to me as one of my favorite supporting characters in the whole franchise.

I can't get enough of my homeboy Kento Fukamiya/Espada. Like Rintaro and everyone else for that matter, he also suffers from Saber's pacing issues; and like his predecessor Valkyrie from Zero-One, he doesn't get a proper upgrade aside from his Wonder Combo, instead becoming an anti-villain using a completely different powerset and shifting the Raimeiken Ikazuchi out of focus for the Ankokuken Kurayami, and I feel there's a serious missed opportunity to see him use Jaaku Dragon with Alangina. However, Ryo Aoki's performance is probably among the most easily praiseworthy in the whole cast, managing to convey both Kento's kind and knightly stoicism as Espada and his emotionally unstable despair as Calibur perfectly, in conjunction with Yuji Nakata's experienced and expressive stuntwork.

Ren Akamichi/Kenzan's a dark horse favorite for sure. I remember back when Saber was first picking up, people hated this breezy mad lad for being such a simple character at first. Overly concerned with strength? Black and white world view? Annoyingly energetic? Agh, real-feeling character flaws, I hate them, get him away from me! But then y'all came crawling back. Eiji Togashi's apparently a bit of a rookie actor, and it really shows with some stilted delivery and the way he sometimes bobs his head when giving his lines, but man he improves dramatically as the series goes on. His inexperience ironically ends up really selling his character development, and his unexpectedly beautiful relationship with Desast is special evidence of that. The Fuusouken Hayate's three modes and Satoshi Fujita putting them to excellent use through his stellar acrobatic movements are also really cool.

Why did Luna have to be a child for so long? Does Wonderworld not age whoever inherits its power? Well since Luna randomly becomes an adult in Super Hero Senki and some of the final episodes, I guess so? Miku Okamoto does a fine job for a kid actor, but she's basically done all the heavy lifting for the whole series and doesn't give Mayuu Yokota enough time to get a feel for her character as an adult. How did she choose Touma to inherit the power anyway? Does she just subconsciously decide to trust him with it upon seeing how kind and passionate about storytelling he is? Well if that's the case, why didn't Kento get at least some of that power too? He's just as important to the merchan- I mean Luna-chan, isn't he? Why did Tassel pick her over someone who isn't a literal child who'd be understandably terrified about basically becoming an embodiment of storytelling?

Sophia also kinda suffers from the same problems. Rina Chinen's voice is very pleasant to listen to, but she doesn't really do much beyond serving as a source of exposition and support. I think her dynamic with Mei's adorable, and given her kindness I can certainly understand the respect Northern Base has for her, but she doesn't really contribute a whole lot. If she could use the Kurayami and become Calibur all this time, then why didn't she take it from Kento and Yuri and do so earlier when Kento decided to go back to being Espada? I know she's not much of a fighter and as the closet thing the Sword of Logos has to a leader after Isaac's death I'd understand not wanting to put her at risk, but considering Storious is destroying the world, and she's very evidently kicking a lot of ass in the first part of the final battle even in the basic Jaaku Dragon form, I think it would've helped a lot, just sayin'. Tassel at least has the excuse of being unable to interact with the real world, but Sophia obviously didn't just be put in charge of Northern Base just because she's a pawn in Isaac's plans right?

Ryou Ogami/Buster is also a victim of the disjointed character focus. I have no problem believing he's an excellent father and fighter thanks to Yuki Ikushima and Jiro Okamoto, respectively, but he feels a bit flat and simple in comparison. His rivalry with Desast is randomly dropped, his wife doesn't even show up until the final episodes, he's kinda sidelined in terms of action a whole lot. I imagine that must've sucked for the Rider Dads out there. He does get to star in his own manga, and that was pretty good, so I guess I can't be too mad.

Tetsuo Daishinji/Slash fares better though. Hiroaki Oka, being a Kamen Rider fanboy himself, manages to make him among the most relatable characters in the series. Not only are his hyperfixation on swordsmithing and anxiety played surprisingly believably, Hirotsugu Mori letting him cut loose is extremely cathartic and hilarious, and you really feel for him when the Onjuuken Suzune becomes the first victim of Calibur!Kento's sword sealing.

Yuri/Saikou's another dark horse favorite, for me at least. "Oh great, Avalon guy's got even more merchandise to sell, I wonder what his Sword of Light is- it's himself. Well... that's different." I admit, I didn't like him at first. He felt like he was there to fill out character dynamics in the absence of both Rintaro and Kento, I thought his gimmick was too silly even if his design and jingles were bangers, I didn't particularly care for his power set. But then XSwordman came around I totally got it. He's an endearing, hard-working man trying his best to catch up on all the cool shit he missed, unafraid of experimentation, ready to throw down at a moment's notice, serving as a wonderful bit of consistent support for our heroes, a truly knightly individual, an absolute Chad. and goddamn does he make me worry. Tomohiro Ichikawa, I salute you good sir.

Even if they fall short compared to the rest of the cast, the Shindai siblings are at least cool enough to not wanna write out entirely. They kinda devolve into comic relief after they become allies, something that villainous Riders from Chase onwards are very prone to doing, and it's especially awkward in their case because I think that they kinda get off scot-free for obeying the obviously sinister and crazy Isaac for so long, as well as driving a wedge between a lot of people and threatening children in Reika's case. I think their sibling dynamic is nice though, even if Fukuda recycled it from Makoto and Kanon and has some... questionable possessive undertones as a result. It's cool how they're basically foils to Touma and Rintaro though. The dispassionate and methodical Reika/Sabela is beautifully played by Angela Mei and her moments of emotional depth are fascinating to watch. Her Rider form is a thing of beauty, and its use of literal the Eneiken Noroshi's smokescreens and Yuki Miyazawa's precise and deadly stinging strikes are a joy to watch. And while Ken Shonozaki's not given the best direction as the undercooked plate of 7-Eleven fried fish that is Ryoga/Durendal, he manages to sell him as an experienced and hardened warrior with an awkward side that's especially evident in the Zenkaiger specials. His goddamn RWBY weapon that is the Jikokuken Kaiji is absolutely sick, I'm a sucker for transforming weapons and its combination of time and water powers is really cool, especially with Yasuhiko Amai's deliberate and forceful acting in the suit.

Daichi Kamijo/the Second Calibur, for as brief as his story was, was a pretty cool starter villain. Hiroyuki Hirayama brings this poor bastard to life in a genuinely touching way. I love how as Calibur he goes full force on his creative use of Wonder Ride Books for attacks, and his debut as Jaou Dragon got my blood pumping. His end is also deeply tragic, and I really felt for him when he realized just how badly he fucked up. Hayato Fukamiya also does wonders for the backstory, and while he also doesn't get much to work with, Mitsuru Karahashi makes his regrets and love for Kento feel genuine.

Legeiel and Zooous are both very intimidating and entertaining villains. On top of being just the right balance of goofy and threatening, Kairu Takano and Koji Saikawa's stage presences are both very strong, and their mixture of camaraderie and in-fighting is extremely believable. Zooous's rivalry with Rintaro feels incredible to see through to the end, and although Legeiel doesn't get quite the same treatment, Elemental Dragon had such a cool debut that it more than makes up for it. Their final fights are also absolute spectacles. I don't think their sympathetic angle works even close to as well as it does with MetsubouJinrai or even the Gamma, but I get it, power corrupts, and you probably feel a lot of sadness and regret for things you've done when you die unless you're a right bastard.

Isaac/Master Logos/Solomon is kinda generic. As wonderful as Keisuke Soma is, he doesn't get much dimension to work with. The result of that is while he nails being as smug and punchable as possible, he feels almost... comically generic. Genta Umemori from Shinkenger was full of personality! He was also basically some guy, but he was fun, he felt connected to the rest of the cast! Meanwhile the only real time we get to see Isaac's depth is when we see him crying over his failures. I almost appreciate him being unapologetically evil though, since I've seen way too many shows where redeemed villains get off scot free for way worse things, and some where they outright demand you to sympathize with them despite them doing nothing to warrant it.

Bahato/Falchion surprises me by not just being a movie villain whose actions affect the main plot, but also being a movie villain who actually gets to appear in series as a recurring threat! ...and it's not a particularly great showing on his part, sadly. Masashi Taniguchi does a wonderful job with what he's given, but his character feels like a retread of Eternal without any of what made Katsumi Daido a compelling and frightening villain. I'd like to believe Yuri when he says that he used to be a good person and a hero to the people, but I can only hear so many anime villain monologues about the pointlessness of life and the beauty of destruction before I can never take them seriously again. ...I think that's his biggest problem, actually. I thought he was an overall uninteresting and generic villain in the movie, and the cartoon nihilist he's shown to be in series is only a small step up. He still feels like filler. If only there were a far better written and much cooler villain who takes on the Mumeiken Kyomu after his de--

Desast is probably one of the finest anti-villains I've ever seen in recent years. On top of an absolutely badass character design and the excellent combination of Kazuya Okada/Danki Sakae's suit work and Koki Uchiyama's stellar voice acting, his story being so thoroughly intertwined with Ren's makes their shared journey and bromance a borderline Shakespearean tragedy. His struggle for identity despite Storious treating him as nothing more than a failed experiment and the Sword of Logos treating him as a mere monster really gripped me, and the way he uses what little time he has left to encourage Ren into blossoming on his own is absolutely beautiful. I think his enmity with Ogami is criminally underexplored in series, considering he killed several of the previous Riders and how Ogami's in desperate need of screentime.

Then there's our main villain, Kamen Rider Storious. Robin Furuya brings an incredible amount of charisma to this character, expertly portrayed as both a sinister, manipulative bastard , and as a lonely, tragic figure that arguably makes him feel even more villainous. Speaking as a struggling writer myself, it's easy to feel stuck in the idea of "fuck it, who cares, maybe everything is predestined", but I can't imagine what it's like to know that as the truth and carry it with you for all that time. All of your grand ideas have roots from your experiences, and you're not the only one who even could have those experiences. It's easy to just fall into despair and give up trying, but would that make you happy? Sure, Storious is sadistic, he may be fulfilling his goals, he may be ungodly powerful... but it's not enough for him, is it? All of his friends are gone, one of them even at his own hand, he probably doesn't have any idea what to do after he destroys all the world's stories, Touma even reached his full power before he did, and his downfall is so predictable that even a blind person could see it. He even seems to welcome it, what's up with that? But then I realized... OH MY GOD, HE'S THE MAIN VILLAIN USING TOUMA AS THE HERO IN HIS OWN TWISTED STORY, THE BASTARD. He's so far gone, he's so desperate to stick it to the Almighty Book, he's willing to twist the archetype of the Hero's Journey so hard, it snaps in two. What I think is interesting is that he's ironically trying to chase the trend of "edgy superhero story" that became super popular in the 21st century. The Boys, Brightburn, Kamen Rider Amazons, The Sentry, No More Heroes, Magical Girl Site, even mainstream comics from DC and Marvel... Surely Storious must've seen the cruelty and tragedy these stories are filled with, but he chooses to go through with trying to force the world into this direction anyway. Did they, along with seeing the ever-popular tragedies of legendary playwrights and bleak satire of the twentieth century fuel his despair?

And yet... there's one who stands in determination against his ideals.

Our hero, Touma Kamiyama, the titular Kamen Rider portrayed by Syuichiro Naito and Kousuke Asai, he speaks to me on a personal level. There're plenty of jokes to be made about his procrastination in early chapters, his godless fashion sense, and him doing the funny run up the slope, that's all fine and dandy, but I rarely feel so connected to a character the way I did Touma. The struggle to create, find companionship, live your life, reach out to others... these're things a lot of people struggle with, and of course you see them depicted a lot in media about creators, but Saber gets to the root of what the greatest thing about storytelling really is. Giving people hope, while using the pain of the past as fuel for the future. Sure, Storious may be right about how every story has been done as far back as human civilization gets, he may even be right about how any spin or creativity humanity has is outright predestined. It should be pointless to even try, right? That's where Touma Kamiyama disagrees. He didn't spend all that time fighting and creating just to give up at the idea of predestination. His novel writing-fueled creativity in his early training, his devotion to his friends that let him surpass Kamijo as Dragonic Knight, his compassion for the Primitive Dragon that let him combine their powers to destroy Legeiel as Elemental Dragon, his resolve that let Xross Saber dethrone Solomon, and his passion for the craft of storytelling that let our heroes channel their wishes into Wonder Almighty... all stemming from the belief imparted onto him by his predecessor that "Hope lies beyond your resolution." And that you decide how your story ends. He may not be the greatest Rider to some, he may be as lame as others think he is, he may not even be my favorite, but I have no issue calling Touma Kamiyama... Kamen Rider Saber, one of the all time greatest carriers of the Kamen Rider name.

The final chapter's definitely not as great as some other Rider finales, but goddamn. Primitive Dragon consciously choosing to save Touma is so sweet and such a great emotional payoff, I loved jamming out to the opening theme while our boys lay the smackdown on Storious. Wonder Almighty's a fitting final bit to close the main series out with, if not exactly a great one. I think the cover is great, and the book's body is a lovely shade of candy apple red, but I really don't like how its pages are just the covers of the other books copy-pasted onto onto the pages, that feels lazy. Maybe if it were a panorama of all the books' characters, I'd like it a lot more as a symbol of how unified the Swordsmen are, but eh, what can you do? On a related note, does this mean all the "last episode extra final forms" of the Reiwa Era are gonna be named after their series's opening? That's a neat idea.

I felt a lot of feelings seeing all those video messages of Rider fans all across Japan talking about their favorite stories, and how their passion and fond memories help reshape the world. Mei's monologue at the ceremony about is also really touching and- IS THAT A HUMAGEAR!? :O

Y-yeah dude, it is! Wow, where have you guys been for the past 48 episodes?! Are you guys doing okay? How come you're like... the only one here? Is the technology of Hiden Intelligence only really that prevalent in that very specific metropolitan part of Japan and they're just not coming around much over here? Is it like Dragon Ball where anthropomorphic animals are just vibin' with humans while the heroes are off kicking ass? Apparently he's played by Hasegawa Keiichi, who wrote this episode and had the award ceremony named after him. ...is Hasegawa Keiichi a HumaGear in this universe then? Did he set up this award ceremony in Touma's honor? If so, why is it named after him? Did reading one of Touma's books lead to his Singularity? I know this is just a cameo, but... god, I have so many questions that probably will never be satisfactorily answered.

Overall, if I had to compare Saber to anything, it'd probably be Sam Reimi's Spider-Man trilogy. It's awkward, stupid, overwrought, undercooked, illogically written, scattershot, cheesy as fuck, and has a tendency to squander its otherwise fine execution; but the sheer passion for storytelling, sense of spectacle, deeply fascinating characters, and belief in the ideals set forth by the cast, crew, and fans are absolutely admirable. Improvements would certainly make it an overall better experience, to be sure, but there's something deeply captivating about how wonky this series is. Seeing everybody get their happy ending after all they've been through felt extremely gratifying though, and I may have to wait another for the epilogue to and then wait for Revice, but... man. I'm hella proud of our awkwardly-emoting, fashion disaster novelist and all of his heavily flawed friends for carrying the Kamen Rider name on to the future. Here's hoping Revice will keep it going.

Alright, that's everything I wanted to talk about. Sorry this was so long and ramble-y, I had a lot to say. I'll probably be liveblogging Revice as episodes of that come out, so... look forward to that, I guess. See ya.

[husbandograveyard]

Hewwo Hazel uwu 🔫😀👾😭😜😳⏰😏🎆💓?

Hewwo Bas! The UwU is strong today  o(>ω<)o Thank you for your questions! 

🔫 - Fave canon arc? 

Thriller Bark. It made me laugh SO HARD. One piece is one of the few anime that genuinely makes me laugh out loud, usually im more of a “hmpft” blowing air out of my nose laught kinda gal, but one piece gave me a lot of joy and laughter, and mostly during thriller bark. Besides that, the fights and the general plot thickening and things coming together, and Zoro’s sacrifice all made this one of my top favorite archs! The pacing was very good as well, compared to, for example, Dressrosa. 

😀 - Most favorite Straw Hat?

aaaaaa don’t make me choose  This is very hard! The initial thought was Zoro because well it’s Zoro and most of his lines never fail to make me laugh. Robin is the one I admire most cause it’s the kind of lady idk if I wanna be her or be with her yknow? And Chopper also popped up because well.. he’s the absolute most adorable bean and I love him and his cuteness. 

I’m gonna conclude a tie between Zoro and Robin, and Chopper can be on their shoulders being adorable?   (´･ᴗ･ ` )

👾 - Fave villain?

Perona as far as she was an actual villain, her negative spooks are the best attack ever and no one can tell me otherwise. 

In terms of bigger antagonists, probably the Charlotte family? I’m counting them as one, just for now, since they are all super interesting and I like seeing them on screen more than ceasar or moria or doffy and 100000x more than friggin Blackbeard (Imagine me using the ‘dinkleberg voice’ whenever I say blackbeard).  Doffy is a good villain. But he makes me too mad so he only gets a flaminglemention and not the top spot ha. 

😭 - Saddest scene?

Just like one piece is the series that made me laugh he most, it’s also the one that made me cry the most. Almost embarrassingly much. I ugly sobbed for a few hours straight around Ace’s death. I was spoiled, I knew it was gonna happen, but I did not know how exactly, so ehm from impel down on, every scene they showed him I teared up at least. (oops).  BUT there was one other scene that made me cry a lot that I have to mention because I did not expect to cry for that moment. I knew about the time skip, I knew about the training, I knew they were gonna take some time off to get stronger. BUT I did not know how and when and the circumstances. The moment Kuma separated them, the agony and the helplessness. My heart. I could not take it. That was too sad. 

Honorable mentions for the Bellemere scene very early on and saying goodbye to merry. Just too many heartbreaking moments but I feel that’s what makes the series so nice, you need to get hurt sometimes in order to get more attached to characters. 

😜 - Funniest character?

Ehm. In terms of delivering hilarious one-liners and making me laugh while not actually being funny on purpose: Zoro. The dumb is too much and is hilarious. He says funny things while not being funny and there’s just too many peak comedy moments in him getting lost or ‘wanting to get made into a wax statue in this pose”. 

Luffy gets a mention in situational humor too because that dumbassery is hilarious as well. 

Other than that. Probably a tie between Usopp and Franky. It’s just so stupid, but the sheer simpleness of most of the humor makes it so easy to digest and look at! 

😳 - Any crushes?

Any? Many! ehm, to not make this answer a couple thousand words long, quickfire! Ace, he has the charisma, the feralness, the politeness and the freckles.  Shanks, he’s just the sweetest, sexiest mystery man who knows what his priorities are.  Sabo, all the feralness, less of the politeness, all of the cuteness. His smile can revive puppies.  Zoro: the Dumbassery, the muscles, the brutal honesty and that soff soff mossy hair.  Kid: again, the dumbassery, the rudeness while still caring for his bunch of misfits. I love me a good tulip.  Robin: The beauty, the grace, the humor, the fashion, the intellect. Again, dk if i want to be her or be with her.  Vivi: The courage, the love, the sweetness amongst the badassery, step on me princess.  Honorable mentions for Killer, A bunch of people showing up in Wano that I’ve only seen spoilers pop up for. And writing some character has had me reconsidering all the crushes all together. In conclusion: WHY IS EVERYONE IN ONE PIECE SO ATTRACTIVE??? safe for you Blackbeard honey, you could fall off a cliff and I’d applaud. 

⏰ - How long have you been into One Piece? 

Not that long at all. When I was 14? ish I started my anime journey. I watched 15-20? episodes of One Piece and hated it. Around that time one piece was somewhere in between 500-600 eps and I could not imagine ever catching up to that, especially since my strict parents limited my computer use to 3h a week. 

Then a friend really got into it I think about 5? years ago and kept talking about it and how it was actually good. I was starting to do an effort to watch all the ‘big’ and ‘must-see’ anime and promised myself I’d watch One Piece, eventually. 

Then this year at the end of October 2019 I actually started watching it. I had grown up a lot, and could now appreciate the anime way more for what it was? I fell in love and binged the entire thing in more or less six months with some small breaks in between for work, school, books, and other anime. Highly considering re-downloading so I can rewatch my favorite parts soon. My biggest problem is that once I love something, I go ALL IN and I will love everything about it and obsess. And thus this Tumblr was created as the hiatus started and I wanted something One Piece to keep me distracted. I eventually want to collect the manga but I now don’t have the space for it in my tiny room. 

😏 - Favorite scene? 

Sabo and Luffy reuniting! The reveal, the tears, the hug, and the ridiculousness of Luffy with the beard and all, just made it perfect. Absolutely loved it.

OH and Luffy punching the celestial dragon. The absolute energy in that scene made me grin like an idiot yet gave me goosebumps. Punch those slave-owning bitches luffy, thank you! 

🎆 - Something you can’t wait for??!! 

ALL of what is to come in Wano. I’ve been catching spoilers here and there and i just cannot wait! There’s gonna be so much reveals and new characters and comebacks and all the things I did not know I need in my life. 

And I would like some more reveals on Shanks and his crew since we literally know next to nothing about them, besides the fact that even the admirals seemed to be at least wary of their powers and I just really need to know. (or not, since mystery adds to the charm). 

I can’t wait for the abolishment of the government and the death/defeat of blackbeard (assuming that will happen at some point, a girl can dream). 

💓 - Which character do you relate to the most?

SO HARD. Hardest question. Ehm... Ace and Usopp I think? I struggle with family a lot, but I have a chosen family that I wouldn’t trade for the world. I am hella insecure, but I try my best most of the time and I am extremely loyal, even though I have no particular talents, I try and help here and there and hopefully can make some people happy that way! 

If you read all the way through here, thank you for coming to my Ted talk! It was so long  („• ֊ •„) but it was also so much fun  (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 409

This episode did so many things right! And it did so many things in ways that made me ragey with how easily things could have been done right if they just admitted this part of the book is trash!

Dive under the cut if you want, but no one’s making you so don’t @ me if you don’t agree...

They Sansa Stark’ed Bree when she was being raped and now they’re Sansa Stark’ing her in the aftermath. This isn’t about fucking Lizzie, show. This never should have even happened but now we’re stuck accepting the shit choice you made.

Yes, Lizzie causes a fucking dumb af thing later. But right now it looks like they’re making the aftermath of Bree’s rape about someone else.

Seriously, this is not a good show.

But props where they’re due, Sophie has gotten significantly better at acting this season. And last week and this week she’s actually been good enough to not take me out of the scene when I’m watching. So yay for that?

Oh fuck off, Roger. You’re still the worst. But this show appears to not care that you’re the worst and wants us to ship you with Bree. Which makes me side-eye the fuck out of the writers. Because wtaf.

This show gives me whiplash. Like are we supposed to watch the current episode (whatever the current one is) through the lens of whatever the last episode was? Or are we supposed to throw out whatever happened in the last episode and just take the current one at face value? Because those two things are usually not compatible.

Guys I swear I liked some parts of this episode, but Outlander is such a shit show/shitshow at this point that it’s basically impossible to come away with an overall positive feeling. At least for me.

Oh, Lizzie’s been ill? Does Lizzie have malaria? Because clearly it’s important to shoehorn in book nonsense when it doesn’t make sense and isn’t shown in the show. FFS.

Someone hire a new showrunner. For the love of fuck.

Anyone else hoping Roger is never heard from again after he sails off with the Gloriana? No? Just me? Fuck this show for assuming we’ll ship a toxic couple just because it’s book canon. 

Book!Roger is mostly crap too, tbh.

Literalol at Bree being like oh, some rando lady cut into a dude in a theater? Yep, that’s my mom.

Did we really have to have Jamie peeing? Fucking really? Le sigh.

It’s Matt fucking I-Love-The-Books-Even-Though-They-Are-Mostly-Shit-Praise-Me-For-My-Copy-And-Paste-Skills Roberts. Of Course this is verbatim from the books. Ugh.

“I hadna though of you as grown, except I literally had photos of you looking exactly like you do now. So I know exactly what you look like.”

Jamie has seen Bree’s fucking picture as an adult. And with Claire, Murtagh, Lord John, Willie and even fucking Geillis having come back into his life unexpectedly, it makes no sense that he wouldn’t recognize her. 

I hate that this is straight from the book.

It’s well acted and shit, but that doesn’t mean it’s good.

Everything after him not recognizing her is great though. Basically I’m here for the hug.

Balfe and Skelton own this episode.

Jamie being personally offended by the printer’s shoddy work on their obituary gives me life. 

Oh, apparently they have settlers on the Ridge now? Cool. Cool cool cool.

Young Ian being like “yeah, I’m used to your absurdity, Auntie Claire” is my everything.

I really want him and Bree to bond. But not have him do the creepy proposal thing. Please cut that, show.

Claire is like “are you fucking kidding me, Roger bounced after one fight?!”

Claire knowing Roger is a twat makes me hope she’s the one who rips him a new one when they eventually get him back, tbh. Because yeah, Roger is a fucking asshat.

Own that you fucked up and stay to make it right, fuckwad. Don’t...be you, apparently.

Fuck them for making Bree go through an unnecessary rape and fuck them for making her feel extra awful because Claire has already replaced the ring she was raped over.

I know I have to accept that they’re following the book but ffs, the show we could have had would have been so much more interesting than the show we’re getting.

“Because the books” is literally my least favorite reason for the show doing anything. If it’s in the book and it’s included in the show, it should be because it’s a good story, not “because it’s in the book.”

These scenes with Jamie and Claire make me miss Jamie and Claire. They’ve been reduced to like a fraction of what they were this season, and as much as I love the cutesy shit, I miss the passionate Frasers I fell in love with.

That being said, I 100% would totes watch a webseries about the Frasers’ annual Fire Day Funtimes. But for real, the fire is in January? Frasers. Just throw out your tree the day after Christmas instead of keeping it too long so it gets all dried out and burns your house down.

“Look at our beautiful green screen, daughter!” “I love this green screen! It’s a green screen I could only imagine from my history books!”

Claire saying Jamie is used to random references about the future when Bree feels bad about her Daniel Boone tangent is my everything.

“WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?” Y’ALL I LOVE THIS LINE SO FUCKING MUCH. BREE HAS FAMILY WHO LOVE HER EVEN THOUGH THEY’VE NEVER MET HER AND THEY’RE NOT GOING TO USE HER AS A PAWN TO HURT ANYONE ELSE AND I REALLY HOPE AT SOME POINT WE GET MORE BREE AND MURTAGH.

MURTAGH BEING A PROUD PAPA BEAR ABOUT BREE IS MY FAVORITE THING IN THE WORLD.

The scene at dinner is all I ever wanted. Fuck plot sometimes. This scene of a fucking family eating together and telling embarrassing yet endearing stories is fucking perfection. I mean, sure Dougal’s family is a convenient plot device, but whatever. I AM HERE FOR MURTZ TELLING EMBARRASSING STORIES ABOUT JAMIE, AND BREE AND YOUNG IAN LOL’ING ABOUT IT AND CLAIRE BEING LIKE O RLY YOU COUSIN KISSER YOU.

I need Bree to meet Fergus and Marsali. Fergus is the OG Fraser kid and knows what it’s like to have parents who aren’t biologically his but are 100% loving regardless. And has seen Jamie and Claire at their best and at their worst and is literally an amazing character witness who can tell Bree what’s up. And Marsali is not just another young mother who can relate on that level, but also has seen a bad marriage and can empathize with Bree’s childhood. Like Marsali saw Jamie in a shitty marriage where he tried his hardest and failed to make Laoghaire happy. And Bree saw Claire try to do the same with Fred. And Marsali was hesitant with Claire at first because she loves her mom even though her mom is a crazy bitch. And Bree is hesitant with Jamie even though she should def realize by now that Fred was straight up abusive trash.

I just need Bree and Fergus and Marsali to meet and bond, ok. 

I was 100% expecting someone to make a future reference as soon as Young Ian left and I thought it would be Murtz but yay that it’s Claire historically fangirling.

But ugh, fuck the writers for including Bree’s rape. Red flags for days that she isn’t fangirling over G-Dub.

Lizzie has malaria because “the book” but they don’t ever actually show her being sick. Because it’s not actually important to the story. Fuck them for always including extraneous shit like this when it doesn’t matter with the story they’re telling.

“Daddy knew. That you came back. I saw the obituary on his desk years ago. I didn’t realize what it was at the time, but...I remembered it recently when I found it again myself. He knew you came back to Jamie. But I still went to his grave and said he was my hero. Even though I rightfully kicked Roger to the curb for doing the same thing. Because it’s impossible for the writers of this show to admit that Fred is trash.”

ETA -- An anon pointed out that she said that at what was probs Frank’s funeral since the grave was fresh and didn’t know anything about time travel yet. But still. I stand by what I said after that episode aired, that line was dumb for other reasons too.

Seriously though, Bree ditches Roger for not telling her about Claire dying in the past, but Frank, who knew about it and chose to not tell Claire about it, is her fucking hero? Fuck all the way off, show. Like seriously, she’s telling fucking Claire that Fred knew like it’s not the same fucking reason why she sent Fred Jr packing. I cannot even.

Bree better fucking get there eventually. Because holy shit the fact that she doesn’t get how awful Frank is at this point makes me want to hate her. 

It’s ok to think a parent is trash, Bree. You owe them fucking nothing. And if they try to make you feel like you do, that’s just more proof that they’re garbage.

And don’t @ me with shit about how he was always nice to her so she didn’t notice. You fucking notice when someone in your life is shit to someone else in your life even if they’re nice to you. You fucking notice.

And if somehow you don’t notice and someone else says they were epically shitty to them, guess what, you should believe that person. Because no one makes this shit up for lols. Standing by shitty people just because they weren’t shitty to you specifically makes you a shitty person.

Ugh. I hate this show and the people who make it sometimes.

Claire’s face when she realizes that not only did Frank emotionally abuse her and use Bree as a weapon against her for 20 years, but also *knew* that she would go back to the past and die and didn’t tell her is fucking heartbreaking.

“Frank was an astute man.” Interesting way to say “Frank was an abusive piece of shit.”

I get that she’s still trying to protect Bree from the truth about Freddy boy, but there comes a point where my girl deserves to speak her fucking truth and let her loved ones know the pain she went through.

“I can see why you had to come back to Jamie.” Really. Can you. Because if you still have Frank up on a pedestal as your hero, I really don’t think you actually get it yet. Don’t make me go back to hating you, Bree. Wake the fuck up, you’re smarter than this.

Seriously, each and every person on this show who has ever done press where they’ve claimed that Frank is a “good” man deserves to be slapped upside the head. He is awful. He is fucking absolutely, irredeemably awful. And anyone who claims he’s a good guy or that his relationship with Claire is #goals is a misogynist piece of shit.

For real, shitty choices by the writers room aside, Balfe and Skelton are so fucking good in this episode.

I’m calling bullshit that Bonnet would give Roger gemstones just because he asked. But I also don’t give a fuck about anything to do with this part of Roger’s story soooo... Moving on.

Montage!

Subtlety has never been this show’s strong suit but jfc, they’re so fucking heavy-handed with the “they’re something up with Bree” stuff this episode.

Jamie being so open about talking about Frank and letting Bree know he knows about him does so much to set him apart from the piece of shit who raised Bree. Jamie is flawed af, but he doesn’t force people to hide half of Bree’s life from her. He’s open about her truth and that’s more than Fred ever fucking did for her.

Y’all the scene with Bree, Young Ian, Murtz and Jamie at the still is fucking adorable. But only because she eventually finds out the truth about her nickname. Just tell her things in a joking manner, y’all. Bond! Be a fam!

Also the line about people calling Young Ian “Young Ian” is kinda the on the nose shit I don’t like but it’s not as egregious as the other times they’ve done it so I guess I’ll let this one slide.

Claire, same girl, we all want them to stop tiptoeing around, talking about Fred. Fred was the worst and Fred is dead. Acknowledge Fred and then fucking move on already.

Jamie looking at his sleeping kiddo makes me feel feelings.

Ok Jamie taking Bree hunting for bees is kind of my fave for so many reasons. When he takes Willie hunting, they hunt a stag. Jamie knows that Bree knows how to shoot because Frank taught her, but instead of taking her to hunt game they’d have to shoot, he takes her hunting bees. So it’s different than what she had with Frank. Because he’s actively trying to not replace the father she grew up with and clearly though undeservedly loves.

Jamie is flawed but 1000x the better man.

Don’t @ me that Fred taught her to shoot in case she went back to the past. He literally didn’t tell Claire she was going to die. He left Claire to tell Bree the truth once he died. He was a shitty, shitty, petty man.

They’re really getting their money’s worth out of that fucking eagle stock shot.

Seriously though, they should have moved the production to North Carolina.

The metaphor about the bees losing one home without any say-so to then become content where they end up is tough. Because yes, it’s what Claire did. And she thrived. But at this point for Bree, she’s not 100% open to making her new situation permanent. So she hears this and is like “ugh I guess I could make do” whereas Jamie is like “you’re so welcome here and you’ll come to love it like we love you.” And it lowkey makes me want to hug them both. Because omfg how could you not want to just hug the shit out of them in this situation. He so wants to be close to the only biological child he can acknowledge and she is so hesitant to open up to the father who gave up everything he cared about for her but who she doesn’t know from Adam. I JUST CAN’T WAIT FOR THEM TO ACTUALLY BOND A LOT NEXT SEASON.

Ok but for real, if I have to hear one more speech about how Fred is a good guy I’m gonna vomit. Jamie is giving this speech because he doesn’t fully know what Claire went through. Because last season and this season the show has never let Claire actually talk to Jamie about what it was like for her with Frank. (Also the show refuses to admit that they portrayed him as an abusive piece of shit... Which is its own problem.) There’s a passage in Drums where Claire finally makes it clear to Jamie how it was for her and I’m hoping they fucking include it because dammit, Jamie needs to know and Claire needs to say it.

WHEN JAMIE HUGS BREE AND SAYS SHE CAN CALL HIM DA AND SHE CALLS HIM DA I HAVE SO MANY FEEEEEEELINGGGGGGSSSS.

ONE OF JAMIE’S KIDDOS CALLS HIM DAAAAAAAAAA.

“She called me Da.” Y’all it was the first time any of Jamie’s kids have called him that. Fergus calls him Milord. Faith died. He never got to meet Bree as a child. He couldn’t acknowledge Willie. Marsali and Joanie call him daddy like fucking creepy weirdos. Young Ian is like a son but calls him Uncle Jamie, because that’s who he is. BUT NO ONE HAS EVER CALLED HIM DA BEFORE AND I AM SO FULL OF FEELS.

Ok the forehead snuggles are great but again, as the season goes on I really miss the passionate Frasers. Not because I want the smut. I can get smut anywhere. It’s just that their relationship is becoming so one-note and I want it to go back to being dynamic like it used to be.

Omfg I cannot with how on the nose Bree looking at the mama bird and the baby birds is. Try harder, show.

All this bullshit with Fred trying to keep the rift between Claire and her daughter like an asshole and Claire can still guess exactly what’s wrong with Bree after years apart because CLAIRE MOTHERFUCKING BEAUCHAMP IS A GOOD GODDAMN MOTHER WHO LOVES HER CHILD MORE THAN ANYTHING. I WILL FIGHT YOU ON THIS.

Claire’s face in this whole scene though. *throws awards at Balfe*

I can’t get over the what could have beens. This scene is so well acted, but I can’t stop thinking of how unnecessary the rape plotline is.

Literally half of my struggle with this show is trying to ignore all of the squandered potential and the other half of the struggle is trying to keep straight what I’m supposed to consider canon at any given moment. Is it current show canon? Past episode canon? What the writers think they’re showing even though they’re actually showing something else? Backfilled book canon? *drinks heavily*

What Bree goes through is fucking awful, but Claire feeling crushed that she wasn’t able to protect her baby is also heartbreaking. Not at the same level, by any means. But it’s still fucking a gut punch.

Oh hey, someone finally said the word rape. Fucking finally. I know that it was the characters trying to make things less awkward or painful as they talked about it before, but it also felt (to me) like the writers trying to skirt around the fact that they chose rape another character for no good reason. Glad they finally said it like it fucking is. Also, again, because I can’t say it enough, fuck them for not adapting this story line. 

Rogergate is so fucking dumb I cannot.

I can’t believe they’re committing to this shit.

Can someone please put Matt in timeout and give the show to someone else for a while.

Oh hey, Claire found her old ring! The ring that doesn’t even matter anymore. Because Matt and Maril had a boner for the book ring.

Have I mentioned I don’t like their choices recently?

Ok, fucking Lizzie says she saw this shit. And Jamie’s first instinct is to fucking go berserk and keep shit from Bree and Claire. You really are going to trust a fucking rando maid without talking to Claire and Bree?! Of course.

Ain’t toxic masculinity grand.

Fucking I hate that Claire nods that she’ll keep the Bonnet detail from Jamie. No. Fuck that noise. Don’t fucking spare his fucking feelings. You fucking communicate. That’s how you live as a strong couple. Fucking communicate.

GAH.

Fuck them for now making Ian be the one who sends him into slavery. 

Jamie isn’t off the hook by any stretch. Fuck that guy. Literally just going off on a dude because a fucking maid thinks she knows what’s up. I’m just saying I’m now thinking that the show’s gonna play it like it was Young Ian’s fault and he chooses to stay because he thinks it’s on him.

Can’t have our romantic lead send a guy into slavery, no one will like that. Better have the nephew we’ve had borderline fetishizing the Cherokee all season do it.

And in the process make the Cherokee/Mohawk the “bad guys.” Not the jump-to-conclusions-colonizers.

I hate Rogergate so fucking much.

Also how the fuck in the two months that Bree has been with them has she never once described what Roger looks like. Literally when anyone first starts dating someone, the first question anyone asks from like the beginning of time until now is “what’s he like and what does he look like.”

Ughhh.

*is wistful af about the angst and drama-filled less problematic show we could have gotten if the writers had the balls to admit that the back half of Drums is bad*

[lucky-clover-gazette]

season 4 first watch impressions

under the cut are my thoughts and my new overall series episode ranking (spoilers)

ep1 - uss callister

- by far my favorite of the season

- a perfect blend of comedy and tragedy 

- i would have loved this as a full movie

- honestly nanette is amazing, like she owns her smarts and sexuality and never gives up i love her

- male coder: “it won’t work, i’ve already tried”

nanette: “well i haven’t” HELL YEAH

- i honestly loved all the ‘crew’ characters, even the gym rat boss

- i especially enjoyed the speech from the boss to robert, where he’s like ‘i acknowledge that i was an ass, but dude, YOU PUSHED MY SON OUT AN AIRLOCK’

- also the fuckin casual dialogue between the monster and bad guy and the crew

- OHHH BOY AND THE FACT THAT ROBERT’S GONNA ROT TO DEATH IN HIS APARTMENT BECAUSE HE PUT ‘DO NOT DISTURB’ ON HIS APARTMENT DOOR, HELL YEAH

- ‘oh my fuck’ 

- 10/10, watch it now

ep2 - arkangel

- preface: the kid playing young owen teague and his family were actually really close with my family when he and my little sister were kids. it was goddamn surreal to see that lil guy talking about porn when i remember him being, like, eight. but nice going nick, keep kicking ass lil dude

- okay so this episode was... conflicting 

- the opener made sense, but in some ways i thought it was TOO obvious and indicative of the episode’s message and tone. i can’t help but wonder if it would have been better just starting like five minutes in

- her father looked like counselor healy from orange is the new black, so that was distracting

- okay jesus christ lady, i get that losing your kid is scary, but implanting her with ‘optional’ optic spying and censoring software is such a massive violation of her privacy. like, it’s one thing when she’s tiny, but how the hell are you going to feel okay with yourself as a parent when she’s an adolescent? 

- the blocking especially pissed me off. that’s so fucking dangerous. either this woman is just very stupid, or very desperate

- at least the narrative established that it kind of was the latter. when her father gets sick, the mother has to care both for both her father and her child. that’s a lot. but still not an excuse for such mental violation of a quickly-growing human being

- young edgelord and sara are fucking adorable

- sara’s self-harm and rage issues are not, however,, and i’m glad that her mother took her head out of her ass and ditched the tablet

- is it just me or is fifteen-year-old sara kind of an idiot? like i get it she’s grunge and artsy, and i loved her giving a treat to the dog, but she seems to be almost hanging out with owen teague because he deals, and not despite it. like i get that i’m supposed to buy that their romance has kind of a subtext of him ‘teaching’ her about things, but like the underage sex and coke are kinda yikes. i feel like he definitely should have had more restraint, and although what the mother does is royally fucked, he and sara are also both to blame

- all right, so the smoothie motif. what a great narrative tool. the miscarriage pill was the most clever part of the episode. sara’s reaction was very well-acted, and the standoff between her and her mother was intense as hell

- i liked that sara’s rage issues remained into adolescence. i was glad that the tablet got wreckt, but i can’t help but wonder if it would have been more effective to have her rage-smash it prior to her mother coming come, leaving the pieces for her to find. the actual beating up of the mother with the tablet seemed to literal, too much sinking in the message. there were moments in crocodile and hang the dj that were the same way. 

- the ending, with sara hitchhiking in some stranger’s truck, was very smart. the ambiguity of a young girl, on her own, hopping in some stranger’s vehicle, is powerful without much explanation. any parent would be horrified by this; that’s what i don’t think we actually needed to see the mother screaming sara’s name and bleeding to understand the horror of losing a child to the unknown

- this one definitely gives me the most complicated feelings of the season; on one hand, it had a lot of great devices going for it. on the other hand, it was over-written and at times trying too hard to be ‘black mirror.’ the grey morality and ambiguous ending reminded me of a literary short story, which i love in my TV.

- 7/10, watch it if you liked most black mirror episodes that weren’t san junipero

ep3 - crocodile

- ah yes, the ‘i watch black mirror to be fuckin ashamed of humanity’ episode

- idk man, i liked it. it was bleak, and fucked up, but i’m all about that downward spiral. i liked that the story kind of began in three different places and then tied together. just as i had with ‘hated in the nation,’ i love police procedural stuff

- also damn, it was freaky as hell to see the straight-laced white blonde soccer-mom type being a despicable murdering sociopath!!! like, gotta go kill an entire family of POC, including a goddamn INFANT, and then see my kid’s show, that’s great. i was so happy when she got what she deserved. 

- all right, so i had one MAJOR PROBLEM with this episode: why the fuck did they make the son blind? the guinea pig twist was so GOOD, and mia fuckin killed a BABY, they didn’t need to further modify that!!! this is another example of black mirror doing just a tad more than it needs to make the audience feel horrible. 

- okay black mirror, we get it, that song is your thing, but can you maybe slide it in as a less glaring easter egg? 

- 8/10, but only if you’re into dark shit and bad endings

ep4 - hang the dj

- not nearly gay enough

- seriously, the entire episode i was unable to focus on the main characters because i kept looking around this Tinder-esque 20′s dating paradise and saw ZERO GAY OR LESBIAN COUPLES. i’m so surprised by this, especially after ‘san junipero.’ at first i was like, maybe this is like society’s way of encouraging procreation because of population decline, but that wasn’t the twist at all. no reason for nearly everyone to be hetero

- THAT BEING SAID, i see you. bi amy. even before the girl partner, i was aware that she used ‘they/them’ pronouns when referring to hypothetical partners. i just wish we could have seen more gay couples in the background (for example, at the choosing ceremony thing, it coulda been two dudes of something)

- uh okay, so everyone loved this episode, and it was okay. some of the banter and jokes were funny and relatable, but honestly, this wasn’t *that* good. the plot wasn’t super original (reminded me a lot of ep1 of hulu’s ‘dimension 404′) and the execution was kind of suuuuuuper basic. like, black suited Enforcers with tasers? a massive matrix wall? the whole thing seemed so predictable and just... basic as hell. 

- but shit man, amy was cool. loved that character in a vacuum. 

- honestly if someone could explain the reasons for loving this episode, i’d like to hear them. because i just don’t get it, man. maybe it’s because i’m gay, or young, or single, or unexperienced... but i just wasn’t very impressed

- 6/10, not even fuckin close to ‘san junipero’ lmao 

ep5 - metalhead

- black and white seemed sort of pretentious, not gonna lie. i think i would have preferred the dirty palette of ‘white bear’ post-apocalypse

- i am all for these female protagonists this season. hell yeah

- soo those corpses in the bed were heavy, but i actually kind of wish we got to see more of that? like, the remains of humanity after the dogs attacked? also, more small explanations for the dogs’ attack would have been interesting

- loved the chase and fight scenes. i can see how they’d be boring, but the moments of conflict between man v. machine were fucking awesome

- K N I F E  D O G

- anyone else get serious farenheit 451 vibes?

- the teddy bear thing was dumb. i don’t think we needed to see what was inside the warehouse. yet another time black mirror threw in just a little more than we needed

- okay so belle keeps alluding to the fact that she has safe family members out there somewhere, so am i to believe that there is some place where humans are safe from dogs? if so, why the actual fuck did she leave? i can’t believe it was just because of fuckin teddy bears

- alllllll the david lynch vibes

- 7/10, but you gotta actually pay attention to the visual details to get the best parts

ep6 - black museum

- BOOOOYYYYYYY! this entire episode i waited for the fuckin shoe to drop and then SHE! DID! THAT!

- the amount of callbacks to previous episodes was,, nice,, but also it was kind of annoying??? and unnecessary? 

- the museum owner was reaaaaaalllly annoying, which is think was intentional. what a fuckin sleaze. in comparison, i thought that jon hamm in ‘white christmas’ was still a somewhat charismatic narrator, but this dude was just yikes

- so, the first story was... kind of a lazy reach? idk, it just felt kinda like a parody of black mirror itself. i get the entire ‘mad science’ vibe they were trying to evoke, but as opposed to the next story, this one had very little to say about human nature. black mirror works its best when it tells stories that use technology as a way to analyze humanity; this one really didn’t (we all already know we’ve got weird kinks)

- the second story was better, but, like, SUPER heartbreaking. poor carrie. i don’t think her husband should have done The Thing at all, honestly, I don’t believe that he couldn’t have seen what happened next coming. it’s like the arkangel mom again; either these characters are just SUPER present-oriented, or just fuckin dumb

- the most tragic moment in this season was ‘monkey needs a hug.’ i felt nauseous 

- okay, now for THE TWIST! the accent drop was a great touch, and i loved that she was poisoning him the entire time. also fuck white men and supremacists, and fuck the museum dude for enabling them. 

- the ending was great. i liked that her mom was chillin with her. the building blowing up was very tarantino. loved her a lot

- 8.5/10, boring in the beginning but the end is worth it 

and now.. 

BLACK MIRROR EPISODES RANKED (AS OF SEASON 4)

1. U.S.S. Callister

2. Nosedive

3. Hated in the Nation

4. San Junipero

5. Fifteen Million Merits

6. Be Right Back

7. White Bear

8. White Christmas

9. Black Museum

10. Crocodile

11. Arkangel

12. Metalhead

13. Hang the DJ

14. Playtest

15. The Entire History of You

16. Men Against Fire

17. Shut Up and Dance

18. The National Anthem

19. The Waldo Moment