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cousinwingding97 · 4 years ago

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Silver Memories

Chapter Five: Corvus

Warnings: Description of killing someone. This one is a long one as well, so the next chapter will be shorter since this took a lot out of my brain. Enjoy!

Mando listens as you describe the nightmare, or possible vision for lack of a better word, with rapt attention. Every detail is seared into your brain much like the memory of being whipped that keeps playing over and over; this one feels different, though, like an out of reach dream rather than a bone deep memory. You don’t know which is worse and you wouldn’t mind some happy memories to play in the darkness of your mind while drifting to sleep.

He shrugs it off saying it’s just a nightmare or memory before turning back to the flashing lights of hyperspace. You want to argue considering the details seem more recent and there was no sign of pain and destruction while you two were on Pollis Massa, but he cuts you off with a, “We’ll find out from my friend what it is. For now, try not to let it bother you.”

Yes, brilliant idea. Can’t believe I didn’t think about not letting it bother me, you think to yourself. Even with his words, you can’t help but notice that Mando seems much more tense in the shoulders. You’re wondering if he is just trying to make you feel better in his own way.

“Do I have enemies?”

“W-what? Why do you ask?”

“Well, I mean the dream made it seem like that guy wants to kill me or capture me at least, I was found in a cell; I can’t help but feel like people don’t want me around.”

“Everyone has enemies. Yours probably grew in number just from hanging out with me.”

“Why? Do people not like you?”

Mando lets out a small sound like a disbelieving laugh, “Most people aren’t too excited about a bounty hunter sullying their place of business In case we end up causing a mess or chasing after them. I’m not welcome to most places.”

Something twists in your heart. It feels like pity or just discomfort with the idea of people judging based off the armor and job Mando performs. “Don’t you get lonely?”

Mando shifts in his seat, “I’ve never really thought about it,” he says, but you can’t help but feel a wave of sadness wash over you. A desire to fit in and be loved, but only ever being held at arms length or feared. The emotions don’t feel like your own; in fact, you know they aren’t since you can’t place any experience to that feeling. It feels more like Mando’s due to the tinge of anger underneath it all. Why wouldn’t a child be loved unconditionally and why should anyone be untouched by the love and kindness of others?

“You have,” you breathe out more to yourself. The realization hitting you like a punch to the gut, slamming all of your emotions out to be filled with his. “You’re lonely. No one gave you what you really wanted.”

You can almost see the faceless warriors demanding excellence, violence, pure fight from every child instead of the love a child needs. A desire for every child to perform perfectly without any thought or care towards what actually children need to develop and thrive. It hurts. You don’t know why, but your heart feels like there are claws hollowing it out from the inside. Your breath starts to burn in your lungs.

“Stop it.”

“You just want the gentleness and love, you want to be loved, yet you can’t have it now.” The words flow out of your mouth, unwelcome.

“I said stop.”

“Everyone is too scared of you. Mandalorians are warriors first. Nothing else.”

“Snap out of it!” Mando literally snaps his fingers in front of your eyes and just like that, the spell is broken. You can breathe again and once you can, all you feel is numb, as if all of Mando’s emotions took your own, leaving you with nothing. Your eyes focus on Mando again. He’s staring at you. The T Visor reflects the stars of hyperspace making it look like there’s a mini galaxy in his visor instead of the black void you had grown used to. You know he’s angry by his tone and the stiffness of his body language, but you aren’t scared of him now. He won’t hurt you because he’s not angry at you, just exposed from your earlier invasion into his mind. His walls are up even higher now, you can’t help but feel like you’ve backtracked in his trust of you.

“Sorry, I just... felt you. I couldn’t stop it. I didn’t mean to invade your privacy.”

He tilts his helmet subtly. Something has changed between you two and he senses it now. Less fear and mistrust on your side and more on his side now with more questions for each of you.

“The sooner we find my friend, the better. Maybe she can help you control whatever this is.”

The rest of the flight is spent in awkward silence.

———————————————————————

Corvus looked absolutely dreadful from the viewport of the Vanguard. A foggy, barren dead planet. Dead trees, fog that clouded everything like a cloak of death. Your mood was already sour from the flight with your emotions plus Mando’s silent brooding now adding to the ever growing list of negative emotions about the current state of affairs. You absolutely hated everything about this place already. The dark gloom ate into your soul.

Mando was quiet as ever. The rest of the flight he remained silent and didn’t even look at you. You figured it was probably the invasion of privacy, but you couldn’t help it. You couldn’t help any of this! He had a right to be angry, but it still pissed you off that he seemed to be taking it out on you when you couldn’t even control what was going on.

Only when the ramp lowered and you were standing on this new planet did he finally speak to you, “Last I saw, Ahsoka was this way.” He hadn’t even stopped walking to say that, so you had no choice except to follow. Begrudgingly, you did. Like I have a choice in which way.

As if this planet couldn’t get worse, there was a silence weighing heavily around you, broken only by animalistic grunts and growls every so often. You jumped each time, scouring the area for any threat. The thought of holding on to Mando’s arm entered your mind once or twice, but his lack of reactions gave you an ounce of courage. Even if he still didn’t speak to break the heavy spell of this planet.

“Are we in danger?” You whispered into the fog.

“No.” Was the short reply.

“Then why are you not speaking?”

“Because I don’t have anything to say.”

“Even back on the ship? We are about to see a friend of yours, I’m apparently able to feel emotions through unknown powers that may be growing, I have creepy visions or dreams and you have nothing to say?” You abandoned the whispering for full volume talking, but still keeping it from yelling just in case.

“Until we know more, there’s nothing I can say.”

“More like won’t.”

The Mandalorian turns to you with a sigh, “We’ve been over this once. I’m not going to trigger you if I can help it and there’s not much to say. I hate to say it, but I’m just clueless as you are and I’m taking a shot in the dark hoping that she can help us. I’m sorry, but this is the best I’ve got right now.”

It hits you like a laser shot. Mando doesn’t know and that terrifies you. This whole time you had been following his lead thinking he knew what to do in order to bring back your memories, but he’s just as lost as you. You had been blindly trusting this man to help you and he doesn’t even have the answers. Sure, he knows more about you than you do, but the visions and emotional tune-ins are new to him as well.

“Did I not have these abilities before?”

“I don’t know.”

Mando leads you through the dead forest. Over logs, around boulders and deeper into the fog. This planet may have flourished at one time, but it looked like a graveyard now to you. There were shapes in the distance of creatures, but the lack of light coming through the fog didn’t show much detail, letting your imagination draw up horrible images of what may lie beyond the fog.

“Why does your friend live on a creepy, haunted planet?”

“It’s not haunted, just damaged. When I met her, she was freeing the locals from a tyrant who tortured those within her walls.”

“Do you think she’s still here then?”

“Maybe. The locals should be able to tell us more. If not, we can at least stock up on supplies.” The idea of people living on this planet is a tad bit surprising to you.

After hours of walking, the forest seems to give way to a grey wall. There are people posted along it, and upon seeing the silver armor, there’s a sudden rush of noise and clamor. A gate housed in the middle of the wall opens revealing an elderly man making his way towards both of you.

“Mandalorian! Welcome back! Come in, come in! Night is falling. You can rest within our walls.”

Mando doesn’t say anything, but does reach up and clasp forearms with the man who now notices you. “Oh, miss! We hadn’t expected you to be back as well. Glad you both could join us.”

You immediately looked to Mando in surprise. You had been here with him too. You must’ve have met this friend while she was here. It made sense, but you were starting to wonder how long and for what reason you stuck around.

Mando kept walking without even noticing you. The village within the walls was lively. Houses lined the main street and bustling with activity. Vendors shouting their wares, children playing in the street and racing off down the winding streets veering off to the rest of the village. Even with the plain grey and brown neutral tones of the buildings, there was life within these walls that made you smile. It was a complete night and day difference compared to outside the walls.

People were happy here and happy to see you and Mando. Villagers would point at you two and wave. Some even clapped Mando on the back or hugged you. It was starting to overwhelm you. Did you know these people? Were you from here?

Mando noticed your growing concern and cut off the old man’s ramblings, “I’m sorry, but I need to find Ahsoka Tano. Is she here? My friend here lost her memories and needs her help.”

The old man looks to you in surprise and sorrow, “Oh, you should have said something earlier! My apologies, miss. Unfortunately, Ahsoka is not here at the moment. She’s taken up a new adventure outside of our walls. She said she would be back in a few days though.”

“And when was this?” You blurt out in despair.

“Two days ago. She will most likely be back very soon if you can wait.”

“Did she say where she was going? Maybe we can find her quicker.” Mando asks.

“No, I’m afraid not. To be honest, I can’t even say if she’s on this planet with absolute certainty.”

It takes all the strength in your body to hold your mouth shut to keep from screaming.

“You and your friend are more than welcome to stay with my family in the meantime, if you wish. After everything you did for us, it’s the least we can do in return.”

Mando accepts the offer for both of you. The man leaves to go tell his wife and family in order to prepare the house for you two. When he’s left, Mando turns to you.

“I’d rather not wait if we don’t have to. Are you alright staying here while I scout out the area and see if I can track her down myself?”

“Mando, I don’t know these people despite their knowing of me! Do you trust them? And what if this Ahsoka lady comes back and you’re not here?”

He holds a hand out as if to calm you, “I won’t leave tonight. That will give me time to see if these people are fully trustworthy and let you get comfortable with them. Is that better?”

You roll your eyes in annoyance. It was, but still not fully satisfying. “Again though, what if she shows up? I won’t know her. What if we miss her?”

Mando tilts his helmet in thought. His hands settle on the belt on his hips. As if the answer came to him from touching his belt, he suddenly reaches in a pouch and grabs something. Gingerly, he reaches out his fist to you. You lift your palm and he drops a black device into your hand. It’s small and round with an oval end and a piece that juts out from the bottom. There’s a blinking blue light on the oval end.

“Here. It’s a communicator that connects directly to my helmet. It may look small, but as long as it’s on and in your ear, it will connect to me. I’ll tell the old man to let everyone know that if Ahsoka shows up, to come to you. If she does, you just press the oval end and tell me. Does that help?”

You look at the device again and gently put it in your ear. The fit is perfect and light. You press the button to test it and Mando nods in confirmation that it worked.

“Okay. That’s fine. Just don’t be gone too long. If I have another episode, I’d rather it be by someone who is already used to my weirdness.”

If you hadn’t turned on the device to test it, you never would have heard the very small breath that passed through your ear. It was a laugh. A gentle huff, but a laugh that you could hear due to the connection to Mando’s helmet. You smiled fully in pride knowing you secretly made him laugh.

———————————————————————

The old man returned to find you and Mando shopping for new supplies. Both of your arms were full by the time he came back and showed you to his house that was within eyeshot of another gated larger house in the middle of the street. You didn’t get a good look at it, but you felt like that place held a lot of sorrow and pain within its walls.

The old man, whose name you learned was Ko, introduced you to his family. His wife, Leeda and their eldest son with his wife and a young grandson. They were extremely polite to you and Mando, catering to anything and everything. They took your bags and set them on the table by their laundry room and ushered you into the kitchen for dinner. The food smelled delicious, permeating the whole house with spice, meat and melted butter. You had no idea what it was, but sitting down to eat the seared meat and baked vegetables brought you to the most light-hearted you had felt since waking up. You ate with vigor and listened to the family speak of anything and everything.

The grandson brought up something you had forgotten until he piped up, “Mr. Mando, why aren’t you eating? Mom says that we have to eat if we are to stay strong!”

You had been distracted with the food and hadn’t even noticed the hunk of metal sitting next to you not saying a word or eating. His creed not even allowing a meal in the presence of others, but there he sat in silence, forgoing any part of impoliteness to even mention that he couldn’t eat. Everyone’s eyes were now on Mando as he sat in awkward silence. You set the silverware down in shame. How could you forget something like that? The poor guy hadn’t had food in who knew how long? He’d been with you this whole time.

“Jax, hush! That is impolite to ask of a Mandalorian.” His mother piped up.

“No, it’s okay. I ate recently. If I can, I’d like to take some to my room for later.” You knew it was a lie. He hadn’t had food recently. There was no way unless he had hidden tubes beneath that armor, but the family seemed to buy his lie.

You suddenly stood up announcing, “We are actually really tired from traveling so much and shopping, I am afraid we must retire. Can we see our rooms?”

Ko looks up startled, but laughs it off, “Oh yes! Of course! I should’ve known you two would be so tired. Come, come. I will show you to your room.”

You smile at him as he stands to show you to the rooms. You were just relieved that Mando would eat soon. He must have been starving! It was astonishing you that he was still standing without a hint of exhaustion or shaking.

Following Ko out of the dining room, you were led down the hall full of family photos, to a door at the end. One door. “Here’s where you two will be staying. I’m sure you will find it comfortable.” The two of you. He meant both of you. He meant for you to stay in the same room as Mando. Oh, please have two beds. You opened the door hesitantly and lo and behold, one large bed. It was so cliché you couldn’t help the small giggle that tickled out of your throat. Before you could protest, Mando chimed in that it was perfect and thanked Ko for his hospitality while gently pushing you further into the room to close the door.

You immediately went on the defense, “Why did you tell him this is fine! You need your privacy to eat! I can’t stay here.”

Mando had been holding up one hand while balancing the food in his other, preparing for a fight. He seemed to pause at your words. “You want to leave?”

“Yes! If it means you get to eat, then yes, I will leave or hide in the bathroom, whatever you need. I know you haven’t eaten for at least a day.”

He sets the food on one of the side tables next to the left side of the bed. He shuffles on his feet thinking about his next move. You move to leave thinking he was trying to come up with a nice way of telling you to get out. Before you can, “You can stay. If you want. Just as long as we sit on the floor facing the opposite way. Only if you’re comfortable, though.”

You can’t tell if it’s a plea or just him trying to make it seem like all of this is no big deal. You have no idea, you can’t really deny the fact that you want to stay. The idea of being out there with people who act like they know you makes you far more uncomfortable. “Alright.”

You cross the room to the right side of the room, pretending to notice all the details of the room instead of thinking about his heavy gaze. He watches you the whole time. You try not to fidget or trip over yourself in the midst of his watchful gaze. You turn your back to him and slide down the side of the bed until your legs are in front of you straight out and your butt hits the cold floor. You awkwardly give him a thumbs up over the side of the bed, “Anytime you’re ready.”

You hear a hiss and a clank of armor onto the wood table. You freeze. Your body immediately wanted to turn towards the noise. The curiosity alone makes you want to look. Maybe you had seen his face before all of this had happened and it would help trigger your memories. The thought leaves as soon as it enters. You weren’t about to betray his trust with something this monumental to him.

The quiet sounds of him sliding down to the floor and then starting to eat greet your ears. It’s so quiet and you can’t help but fill the tormenting silence with anything to distract yourself from what’s right across the room from you. It would be so easy to take a peek and the temptation leads you to studying everything around you. The room is large compared to the small compartments of Boba’s ship and the Vanguard, not large enough to distract you though. The view of the wall and its single picture of Ko’s family isn’t entertaining after a few seconds. The only window is right above the bed so you can’t look out of it without risking seeing Mando.

Boredom finally reaches its peak within your brain so you call out to the other side of the room, “How do they know me? They keep treating us like we are gods. What did we do?”

There was no way to prepare for the voice that greets your ears. You hadn’t thought about how Mando’s voice would sound and even if you had, it would never compare to reality. A warm rumble of whispered honey caresses your ears and slides down your body in a comforting bass, “This planet was under the control of the Empire. The ones that ripped your memories from you. We helped free them.”

“We?”

“Ahsoka, you and me.”

“How’d I do anything?”

There’s a pause for faint chewing. You felt kinda bad for insisting that he eat and then not letting him have that luxury by constantly asking questions.

“You think that trick you did to catch that little guy on the flying lizard was an accident? Luck? You helped a lot in that fight.”

As if hearing your next question forming, he interjected, “That’s all I will say. Why did you care so much about me eating?”

The change in topic throws you. All bubbling questions leave your mind as you try to focus on the answer.

“You still don’t seem to fully trust me, you haven’t shown any concern earlier, so why now?” He asks as if to clarify his question.

“I don’t know. I’m still struggling with it. These people act like decent people, the Empire must be the bad guys here for what they did to me and this town. I guess you are the closest thing I know to be good. You are trying to help me as far as I can tell, putting in more effort than Boba or anyone else so far, but here I am not offering any sort of help back. I get that I don’t know what I can and can’t do; however, that shouldn’t stop me from making sure my pilot is in fit condition. Maybe I hate your guts with my memories, maybe we were best friends. I’ll try to stay more in the moment and trust you until you prove otherwise, as long as you are more open with me about yourself. And not about your personal stuff, just tell me if you need rest or food, okay? It won’t ruin your scary image, I promise.”

He’s quiet as you hear him finish his food and set the plate back on the table. When you hear his voice again, it’s the blasted coder instead of sweet honey, much to your disappointment.

“Alright. Only if you do the same.”

You take that as permission to look at him again, so you stand and turn to him. His thighs are pressed to the bed as if trying to be close to you without crossing to your side of the room.

“We are pretty much on our own. I’m not used to counting on others, but you are too selfless and caring to be a burden. If I ask you something, I want you to be honest. I can’t help you if you end up passing out, having an episode, or worst of all: dying. I’ll do what I can to earn your trust.”

Your cheeks warm unwillingly. It sounded like Mando cared about you, so maybe you could trust him fully after all.

“Alright. Two-way street. Neither of us breaks these rules.”

“Fine. First question, is it alright if I sleep in here? Just as a precaution. I'll sleep in the chair, so you can have the bed."

The question catches you off guard. You honestly didn't know. The idea of him just watching you while you tried to sleep didn't sound like a lot of fun.

"Uh, are you actually going to sleep or just watch me the whole time?"

He seems to realize the way that sounded stutters a little, "I-no, uh, I meant, stay in here and sleep so I can be here in case something happens. Which it shouldn't, but just in case."

"As long as you promise to actually sleep. You need rest just like anyone else, you know that right? As far as I know, you aren't an android or anything. Are you a species that doesn't require a lot of sleep?"

He sighs and makes his way to the refresher off to the side of the bedroom, "Just get some rest."

Rectuantly, you lay down to get some sleep. The bed is cold from lack of use along with the night temperatures. You can hear water running as you lay there staring at the ceiling along with soft clanging as you imagine Mando removing his armor. You couldn't sleep with that kind of stuff going on. The mental image of what Mando might look like under the armor paired with that voice had your thoughts racing.

Once the door opens again, you catch a glimpse of Mando in just sleep clothes and his helmet before he turns off the light. It's a startling sight. Casual clothes and only his helmet? You never expected this. It was like seeing a rare creature out mythology in comparison to this. Almost intimate. You could see some tan skin barely peeking out of his tunic. He was still broad and large, yet more human. The skin looked human at least.

This was going to be a long night.

Sure enough, the next morning had left you waking up exhausted. Even knowing you were safe with Mando, the thought of a strange man at the foot of you bed still left you feeling restless, almost exposed. You had tossed and turned all night only catching bits and pieces of sleep every so often. When you awoke, Mando was already gone from the room. His weapons and armor were gone as well.

Leaving the room and entering the kitchen brought you back to a life outside of Mando and traveling with possible threats following you everywhere. Ko's family was already up and fixing breakfast together. The grandson, Jax, looked up to see you enter the kitchen. He grabbed your hand and dragged you over to help fix food with them. They were nice people that went to lengths to make you feel safe and at home with them.

You tried to make efforts to get to know them. It felt awkward with the almost hero worship they treated you with though. You had no idea how you had helped these people and if you even deserved it. What if Mando had just made it sound like you had helped so you wouldn't feel worthless?

They all had their own things to do after breakfast. Jax went to school, Ko's wife went out back to tend to her garden, and Jax’s parents, Lillian and Idris, went to visit another family. Ko at least invited you to drink tea on the back porch while watching his wife work in the garden. You gladly accepted.

"It is nice to have you and the Mandalorian back in our city. It's a good reminder that we are not easily forgotten. Mando did tell us you have been forced to forget everything, including yourself.”

You hum into your tea mug, noncommitedly, "Some Empire jerks took my memories. All of them. I don't remember ever being here."

"Well, I'm sure a part of it would be gladly forgotten. We were not a happy place until you and Mando came along. Ahsoka as well. Of course, it's not hard to expect from a Jedi. That is what they do."

"A Jedi?"

"Yes, the guardians of peace in the galaxy. You really have forgotten everything." His gaze of pity just makes your stomach turn. You didn't want pity. You didn't blame anyone but the people who did this to you.

"Is there anything you can tell me about myself? What was I like?"

Ko laughs in response, a genuine belly laugh, "You were a spit fire. You saw the injustice that was going on and you personally wanted to take on every guard and mercenary yourself. Mando had to hold you back. If it hadn't been for the need to find Ahsoka, you would've killed anyone in your way."

You couldn't help your eyes bulging our of your head. You? Killing people? Fighting in general? It was a crazy idea. You wanted to think this old man was crazy, but there was plenty of lucidity in the old man's eyes. He was telling the truth.

"What did I do? How'd I fight?"

"In any and every way. You didn't hold any punches. You used anything within your range. Blasters, staffs, even your fists. You were a sight to behold. You were kind to everyone in the city that was being held hostage here. You did whatever it took to free us. We are extremely grateful. We will do what we can to help you."

Once you had finished your tea, you left Ko to his own devices in order for you to think over everything he told you. You retreated to the solitude of the room you were sharing with Mando to rummage through the thoughts flying through your brain. The fear of accidentally triggering another violent memory had you curled up on the bed. Nothing happened though. You had taken a hot shower to calm down and changed into the clean clothes Leeda provided, yet now here you were with the spear you had stolen from Utapau. Mando had let you keep that at least. You were holding it trying to see if it felt familiar in your hands like a hidden instinct or muscle memory. Nothing was coming to you though.

You waited until night to check in with Mando. Perhaps a tad bit reluctantly, but you did worry about him being out there by himself.

"Mando, you there?"

The crackle in the communicator filled your ear and then his voice filled your head, "I'm here. Is everything okay?"

"That's what I was going to ask. Everything's fine. Just a little boring. It's almost strange to be living a quiet life after the past few days."

He chuckles lightly into the communicator, "I'm sure we will be on our way into trouble eventually. It's typical for me."

You smile tightly. You could wait on the trouble. "Any sign of Ahsoka?"

The answering sigh tells you enough, but still he answers, "None yet. I'm just trying to pick up any sort of trail. I'm found her camp from last time I met her and it looks abandoned. The only clue I found so far. It looks like she dismantled her camp fairly recently so that’s a sign she’s been here at least.”

"Hopefully she's okay and this isn't a wild bantha chase."

"I'm sure she is. She's a powerful warrior."

"Yeah, Ko said she's a Jedi. Apparently that means she's some sort of warrior."

"What else has Ko been telling you?"

"Just that apparently I know how to fight expertly as well." Your tone turns accusatory.

"Yes, you do. Don't ask though, I don't know where you learned or even all the things you can do."

Your pettiness still gets to you a little as wish him a quick goodnight and cut the line. It still frustrated the amount of information everyone knew. You really needed to stop taking it out on Mando. You felt a little guilty as you went to bed that night.

------------------------------------------------------

The next morning brought your regrets to the surface again as you awoke to a sudden boom and shaking of the house. Screams followed the explosion as the reverberations faded away. You practically fell out of bed running towards the door to find where you hoped the others would be.

You call out for Ko and the others but there’s no response. You look throughout the house and finally find them all gathered by a door offset from the kitchen. Ko had gathered his family and was leading them down through the door down a set of steps leading to what you assumed was a basement when you cried out to them, "What's going on? What was that sound?"

Ko turns to you and grabs your arm leading you to the basement, "The Empire is back. It's a small party, but they are bombing the city!"

Your heart freezes. Is this because of your vision? Is this all happening because of you? Guilt flares in your heart. If you caused all of this pain and suffering, kriff, probably some deaths, all because of your presence, you didn’t know how you would forgive yourself. You reach up to the communicator in your ear only to find it missing. In your confusion and haste to find the others you had left it behind in the bedroom. You left it on the table like a mindless wamp rat.

You turn to run back to the bedroom all the while Ko tries to yell at you to come back to the safety of the basement. You hear more explosions outside, but you have to let Mando know. The basement won’t be safe for long if the house falls down around them. Mando may not be able to do much, but you have to warn him so he won't walk into a trap and possibly find Ko and his trapped family should the worst happen.

You reach your room and pratically fling yourself onto the table to grab the communicator. Stuffing it into your ear, you immediately open the channel. "Mando!"

"What's wrong? Are you alright?"

"The Empire's here!"

#din djarin x female reader #din djarin #pedro pascal #pedro pascal owns my heart #mando #bounty hunter #star wars #the mandalorian #fanfic #im a simp #mandalorian x you #the mandalorian fanfiction #mandalorian x reader #mando x you #din x reader #din djarin x reader #corvus #fanfiction

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hansoulo · 5 years ago

Text

toccare

Pairing: The Mandalorian/f!Reader (no Y/N)

Warnings: cursing, mando’s kind of an ass but he’s old and his back hurts so we’ll cut him some slack, Touching, Tension, Drama, Spicy Stuff (not anything too spicy tho)

Rating: T for the aforementioned spiciness

Word Count: 2.5k

Gift Credit: gif by @/doortotomorrow

A/N: here it is!!! my mando massage fic. if enough people yell at me i’ll entertain the idea of a part 2. for science. also this probably isn’t even his bed but whatever!!! canon has no consequence in this household!!

“Mando,” you called out to him, “Are you alright?”

A grunt, barely audible from beneath his helmet. You pushed away from the console, standing in the cockpit and turning towards where he sat in the pilot seat. Mando didn’t turn his head away from the front viewport but he stiffened slightly at your proximity, his shoulders tense and his hands tight around the ship controls. He was always so… wound up. Some might call it vigilance, but you preferred telling him he had a stick up his ass. Right now, he had a whole forest.

You reached to rest your hand on the pauldron of his beskar, fingertips only barely grazing steel before a firm grip was locked around your arm. Soft leather pressed against the underside of your wrist, his hold unrelenting and silent. He still hadn’t looked back at you. Stubborn. Quiet and stubborn.

You pulled away - although you knew you were only able to because he let go. Heaving a dramatic sigh, you shook your head and flopped back down into the chair. So the walking tin can didn’t want to talk. Fine. Maker knows he barely spoke anyways. Still, he could at least tell you what was wrong. Not that- not that you cared. About him. No. It’s just that when he was in a bad way, like he’d been for the past few days - he didn’t exactly lend himself to good company. It just made for an unpleasant time, is all. You didn’t care.

——-

Another groan, deep and heavy as the Mandalorian stood up from the pilot’s seat. His movements were slow and strangely stiff, a far cry from his usual posture. You imagined a rusty droid, unoiled and worn from years of use, and the image prompted a laugh to bubble up in your throat before you silenced it with a hand over your mouth. Apparently it wasn’t quick enough, though, because a gravelly “what?” accompanied the slight cock of his helmet.

“Nothing, nothing,” you shook your head, the smile slow to fade from your lips. “It’s just- are you sure you’re not hurt or anything?” Shifting around in your chair to rest your feet on the center console, you narrowed your eyes with a teasing smirk. “Or are you just getting old?”

You knew he really was in a bad way when he didn’t bother to answer, only sighing as he - finally - managed to reach his full height. “I’m going to take a look at the engine,” the Mandalorian said gruffly, stepping towards the main hangar. You hummed in acknowledgement, examining the beds of your nails with an air probably too casual for someone who was sharing oxygen with a known killer. You could hold your own, though. He knew that. Maker, that was half the reason why you were here. The other half had to do with a very small, very strange baby who was now napping in its pod behind you. “Get your feet off my ship.”

You rolled your eyes, not bothering to look back as your hand came up to form a less than lady-like gesture. So much for class and decorum.

——–

You were going to kill him. You were going to rip the beskar off his stupidly toned chest and use it to beat him into the damn ground. He was being such a… such an… an ass!

The Mandalorian had always been terse, you were used to that, but this was something else. He’d nearly driven you to tears the other day and barely apologized, only stalking off to his quarters like a petulant child with nothing other than a “m’sorry.” Yeah, sorry your ass. If he was sorry he would tell you what was going on. It wasn’t the bounties, which were plenty and easily found. It wasn’t the child. It wasn’t you- at least you hoped it wasn’t. So what was it?

It took Mando snipping at you one night for no particular reason, his tone patronizing and clipped, for you to finally confront him. Jamming an angry finger into the metal of his chest plate, you raised your head to meet the slit of his visor. “What the fuck is wrong with you, Mando?”

Your voice was harsh but whispered, not wanting to wake the child sleeping in the cockpit. He moved to push your hand away but you shoved it back, fingers splaying against leather and beskar as your gaze stiffened. “No, stop it. What’s going on? Why are you acting like this?”

“It’s nothing.” He ducked his head down, the chin of his helmet meeting his chest. Scoffing, you stepped back and shifted your weight to one leg, your eyes on him unrelenting. For someone whose job description included lying, he wasn’t very good at it. At least, not with you.

“Obviously it’s something,” you said a little softer. He let you touch him this time, your hands coming up to the dips of his shoulder that lay uncovered by armor. Another groan escaped him, barely audible but slightly pained when you pressed the stiff muscles. You furrowed your brows at the sound. “Are you hurt?”

The Mandalorian shook his head at this, but you remained unconvinced. Realizing something, you resisted the urge to laugh as you pushed your hands down against his shoulders again. It wasn’t very hard and you doubt he could feel much through the thick fabric of his shirt, but it was enough for a deep gasp to be clear through the modulator. He wasn’t injured. He was sore.

You dug your thumbs into the cords of muscle, your tone lighter than it had been in weeks. “You really are getting old, aren’t you?”

“I’m-” he hissed when you flattened your palms, “fine.”

“Mando…”

The Mandalorian’s gloved hands reaching to pull you away. Fingertips ghosted across your arms, hesitant. You sighed, shaking your head as if to rid the air of perceived ill intentions. “I don’t know if you noticed, but you haven’t exactly been pleasant to work with lately.”

You imagined a smile beneath the helmet when he huffed at your words, but maybe that was wishful thinking.

“Yeah, I know. M’sorry.” Ah, there it was again. This time, though, you could tell he meant it. You let your hands fall to your side.

“Y’know…” Oh, this was a bad idea. You were definitely overstepping. Completely off your rocker. “I could help you.”

“What?” Were you dreaming, or did his voice really just drop an octave?

“I could um-” you swallowed, steeling yourself for the rejection you were almost certain of. “I could help. You. If you wanted me to. I mean I wouldn’t- kriff I don’t know! I don’t know why I-”

“Stop talking.”

You swallowed again, lips parted in shock and your voice wavering slightly. “Okay.”

“Help me how?” He stepped closer in the darkness of the hall, his feet coming near enough that you widened your own to compensate.

“You’ve got to have like, a thousand knots in your back, Mando. I’ve seen your bed.” You laughed to cover the rising flush in your cheeks. “Not much of a bed, if you ask me.”

“I didn’t.”

Funny. He was funny. It was a joke, right? Even after so long, you could barely tell. Hazards of the helmet, you supposed. It made things, at least for you, very, very awkward.

“Look, just-” you screwed your eyes shut, fingers rubbing circles into your temples. “If not for your sake then for mine and the kid’s, alright? If that’s all that’s making you act like an ass, then it’s something that I- that we can fix.”

Armor shook slightly with another deep breath, his sigh bone-deep and echoing slightly through the ship. “Fine.”

“Okay?”

“Okay.”

———

He was just… standing there. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he was nervous. Maybe he was. “You’ll have to take off all your armor, you goof.”

“I know.” The words were tight, stretched over with something you couldn’t place.

“Hey, it’s fine,” you assured him, your voice kinder. “Relax, tin can. I’ve seen a lot worse.” You winked when he reached to undo his pauldron. “Need some help?”

Sighing, the Mandalorian sat on the edge of his bed, although calling it that was a bit generous. It was a pad probably six inches thick laid on a slab of metal. No wonder he was in such a foul mood lately. Your own cot, shoved in a too-small storage closet with an old cape (his old cape, actually) as a blanket, seemed much more appealing. Maybe he was just a masochist or something. Maybe this was some sort of weird Mandalorian penance. Or maybe he just didn’t have anywhere else to sleep.

A cough you drew your mind out of your thoughts and back on the man behind you, his armor now a careful pile on the floor. Shedding anything else was apparently a bridge too far, but it was still the most exposed you’d ever seen him. “It’d probably be easier if you um… laid down. On your stomach.” The Mandalorian nodded slowly, pushing himself up on the bed and letting his head fall. Stifling a laugh at his movements, you stepped closer. Oh. Oh no.

“Mando?” He grunted in acknowledgement, his arms straightening besides him. “I- I won’t really be able to reach standing. Is it okay if I-” you winced at your words, hoping he wouldn’t be able to notice the way your face burned. “Sit? On the bed?”

The Mandalorian sat up slightly, his elbows knocking against metal. “You mean on me?”

You nodded, tongue heavy and dry on the roof of your mouth. “It’s fine, really. If you don’t want me to I can just-”

“You can. If you want to.”

Fuck fuck fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Okay. That was good, right? He trusted you. You trusted him. You could give your co-worker/associate/bounty hunter-you-flirted-with-when-you-got-drunk a back rub without it being weird, right? Right.

“Tell me if you want me to stop.”

You climbed onto the bed, careful not to ram your head into anything. This was the nearest you’ve been since- since never, actually. You can’t remember, in all your years of hunts and missions and times aboard the Crest, ever being this close to him. Every rise of his chest, every jostle of his hips and micro-movement that had never been afforded to you before was on display now, inches away and undeniably human. His shirt had ridden up slightly when you moved to straddle his legs and you could see skin, tan and strong and battle-wearied. Not a tin can, after all.

You’d rested your hands on the Mandalorian’s shoulders for balance, not realizing it until his own curled into themselves, gripping the hems of his shirtsleeves until his knuckles stretched pale. Frowning, you coaxed his palms open until they rested at his sides. There. Much better.

The metal against your knees was cold, uncomfortably so, but he was warm underneath you, solid and impossibly still. You moved to the juncture of his neck, the skin there drawn tight with the weight of armor and expectations, and strings of hurried apologies followed every knead of your hands. He called your name, the sound rumbling through his chest, and you bit your lip.

“Yeah?”

“Stop apologizing.”

You grew quiet. Exactly why you listened to the Mandalorian so easily you didn’t want to think about. You blamed the water. He was probably slowly poisoning you until you went mad for his own amusement.

Everything was dampened in recycled air and hazy blue light, pulsing something that had always been present but now was coming to a head and growing a face that you refused to look in the eye. Now was not the time. There would never be a time. You would sooner step out of the limits of space itself until you were stretched thin, enveloped and spun dizzy in the quiet horror of a supernova, than admit there could ever be a time.

Catching a swollen cord of muscle along his back, you pushed down with the heel of your palm and something big shot out to grip at the side of your thigh, its touch unrelenting and so sudden that a gasp was caught in the back of your throat. It was his hand. It was just his hand. So why the fuck could it cover half your leg and then some? Why the fuck was he pressing enough to probably leave bruises?

His hand retracted as quickly as it came, accompanied only with a low noise you could’ve sworn was a whimper. You didn’t want to admit to yourself that you were disappointed, only returning your attention to the task at hand. Maybe you should treat this as a mission. Keep yourself sane and from doing something irredeemably stupid. Great, yeah. Mission to get the knots out of Mando’s back so he would stop being a prick. An awesome game plan, really. Infallible.

Squeezing slightly at the flesh between his shoulder blades, you let your fingernails scrape against the bare skin of his neck until the fabric of his collar gaped. The smallest hint of curls peeked through the underside of the helmet. Brown. Huh. You thought they’d be darker.

Every drag of your knuckles brought a sound, whether it was a huff of air or a downright moan, but you tried not to think about it. You just blocked everything out, warbling your senses until you felt submerged in imagined water and not-imagined skin and words better left unsaid. You mapped every curve of stiff muscle, down the deep slope of his back and over fabric that wasn’t thick enough to conceal the ridges, the landscapes and jagged reminders of enemy encounters. You found yourself liking them, though. The scars.

You’d pushed the shirt up eventually, whispering “is this okay?” before the Mandalorian nodded quickly, dark cloth gathering around his shoulders and bunching up where it lay against his neck. His skin was hot now, burning and lighting fuses on every frayed nerve on the tips of your fingers until you swore you’d grown numb, drunk on contact and the twilight fog of shared lifetimes. It really had been lifetimes. Since you’d met him. Since you’d touched someone like him. Like this.

You were too caught up in it, lost in your own thoughts and so focused on trying not to cross a line or hurt him that you didn’t notice he’d turned onto his back, his hands coming up rest at the swell of your hips.

He pushed up onto his elbows until your forehead fell against the helmet, the beskar against your skin like ice on a desert morning. Your eyes fluttered shut, hands coming to brace themselves on his covered chest. Everything was slow, like syrup was poured into your head and down your throat until it settled into something biting at the base of your spine, a crawling smoke of ungloved fingers and parted lips. He lifted the hem of your shirt and the edge of his helmet dipped to the curve of your neck. The words were shaky through his modulator, hoarse and dulcet. “Is this okay?”

“Yeah,” you said softly, reaching to grip at his biceps. “Yeah that’s okay.”

——-——-

part two

#the mandalorian x reader #din djarin x reader #the mandalorian x you #the mandalorian fanfiction #din djarin fanfiction #the mandalorian #star wars fanfiction #pedro pascal fanfiction

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walkerwords · 4 years ago

Text

“The Savior Sessions” Part 18 of 33 - Negan x GN!Reader

IMAGE CREDIT: AMC

SERIES MASTERLIST

Summary: The fair is in full swing, but an unseen enemy still has her sights set on the ones that took her daughter from her. How will this play out when people go missing? And what happens when the reader is faced with a new kind of horror while Negan waits for them to come home to him?

Word Count: 7939

Warning: Swearing, Death of Major Characters, Angst, Graphic Description of Gore

Song I Wrote To: “You Are The Reason (Duet Version)” by Calum Scott and Leona Lewis

Note: I’m Sorry. This is where we get some canon divergence. I will be changing a few things. For one, I don’t think Aaron went to the fair in the show, but he’s there in this story with Gracie. As we move into season 10, I have changed quite a bit. Thanks for sticking with me so far! ALL OFFICIAL DIALOG IS PROPERTY OF AMC

—————

It had been a long time since you had seen the walls and roads of The Kingdom.

King Ezekiel had just given his big speech as he welcomed everyone to the first community fair. Aaron had run off with Gracie as soon as you had arrived. The two of you had left Alexandria before Michonne and Judith were about to head out. Michonne assured you that she would be fine even though you offered to go with her as a security escort.

It was so strange to see so many of your old friends in one place. Tara was there with her people from Hilltop, Alexandrians milled about, and you even spotted Rachel smiling with her women from Oceanside.

If you weren’t feeling the dread from what was waiting for you beyond the safety of the walls, you would have been smiling along with her. However, you couldn’t. The entire ride to The Kingdom, you had been on edge and you thought your reins were going to shred beneath your fingers.

Aaron had told you to relax. He figured Alpha wouldn’t be stupid enough to do anything on the main road. While you wanted to believe that, the sheer fact that you didn’t run into any of the Whisperers made you even more nervous.

Still, you tried for Aaron, for Ezekiel and Carol, and especially for yourself. Aaron had been right, you needed a break. Negan’s tired eyes and concerned smile were still fresh in your mind as you walked among the stalls. He said that you would have a lot to talk about when you got back and he was right. Perhaps then, you would be able to finally get words out that weren’t drenched in frustration.

Till then, you needed to learn to breathe again.

Enid walked next to you, smiling as she too, took in the joys of the celebration around you. You noticed her in the crowd with Alden as soon as you arrived and she had just gravitated towards you, chatting away about the stall she was going to be doing.

“Did you hear what I said?” Enid asked you and you turned to her.

“Sorry, what?” you asked. She gave you a sheepish smile.

“I was just asking if you thought about setting something up?”

“A stall for the fair?”

“Is that such an odd idea?” she asked.

“I just don’t know what I would do,” you said with a shrug.

“You’re a great shot,” Enid reminded you.

“With a gun,” you said. “Not many of those around these days.”

“Yeah, I guess not,” she said with a shrug of her own. As the two of you headed for the main gate, Enid peeled off to go find Alden and you pushed on to meet Carol.

You had briefly said hello when you had arrived, but she was doing her “Queenly” duties and you hadn’t had much of a chance to speak to her. Now, she looked to be gearing up. Ezekiel was next to her along with Kelly, Magna, Luke, and Yumiko.

“What’s going on?” you asked as you approached.

“Henry isn’t back yet,” Carol explained.

“He’s not? But they left last night. They should have beat us here,” you said with a furrowed brow.

“That’s what I thought,” Carol said and you could see a worried look in her eyes. A look you were all too familiar with. A weight settled on your chest as your hand rested on the pommel of Paul’s sword. “I have to go look for them.”

“I’ll go with you,” you promised. While Carol was worried about her child, you were suddenly very concerned for the other teen in the group.

Where was Lydia?

“You don’t have to,” Yumiko said as she pointed over your shoulder. You all turned to see the large doors open. Running ahead of a horse-pulled carriage was a familiar dog with its tail up in the air.

Michonne and Judith sat in the front of the carriage as Daryl walked alongside it. In the back were Connie, Henry, and Lydia. Dog began making circles around everyone as Henry hobbled out of the makeshift carriage and towards his parents.

Carol didn’t hesitate to pull him into her arms. Connie was doing the same thing with her sister and the rest of her family. As Ezekiel grabbed onto his wife and son, you went for Daryl.

“Ya showed,” he observed as you hugged him.

“Aaron suggested I needed a break,” you said and then stepped back so Carol could launch herself at her best friend. Henry was still hugging his dad and that’s when you noticed Lydia watching the interaction with an awkward stance.

You moved immediately to her side and slipped your arm around her shoulders. “Hey, kid,” you greeted and she gave you a closed-mouth smile.

“Hi,” Lydia said.

“Ya alright?” you asked, checking her over in case she was hurt. Lydia just nodded and fiddled with the wooden pendant around her neck.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Lydia whispered and you squeezed her shoulder, pulling her tighter against you.

“I figured it would be boring without my winning personality,” you teased and she laughed a bit at that. She then became very stiff next to you. “What’s wrong?” you asked, but she was staring at something ahead. Looking up, you saw Tara staring at Lydia with venom in her eyes.

“What is she doing here?” Tara said and you placed Lydia behind you protectively. Henry then moved to her side and took hold of her hand. Tara watched the movement with anger.

Michonne, who had been speaking with Ezekiel and Carol as they got acquainted with Judith turned to the King and Queen.

“Gather the leaders,” Michonne said and then nodded at you as an invitation, “We need to talk.”

—————

“I know I haven't always seen eye-to-eye with everyone in this room,” Michonne began, “but I never stopped caring about any of you. I was just trying to protect my family and do right by my people. Alexandria's future is here. Together, with you. And we lost sight of that for a while. But... I'm here now. We're here now.”

Michonne then turned to you and gestured for you to speak. “Michonne, Gabriel, and I have all spoke with the other council members at the fair, and we all agree. Alexandria is willing to grant asylum to Lydia. She's one of us now. We hope the rest of you can join us in doing the same.”

“Since when do you speak for Alexandria?” Tara asked.

“Since I asked them to,” Michonne defended. “(Y/N) has taken up a role that I had never expected. They are more than capable of not only speaking for us but defending us as well.” Tara was quiet after that and you couldn’t help but feel pride swell in your chest at her words. You had been so worried about how Michonne would see you after everything that had been going on with Negan, but she was still the woman you had met all those years.

“Thank you,” Lydia spoke up from her spot between Judith and Henry in the theater seats. “I'll do whatever I can to earn my keep and pay you back.” You sent her a wink and she gave you her signature closed-lip smile.

“If her mother retaliates, it's gonna be against Hilltop, not Alexandria. I have to do right by my people. I thought we were on the same page,” Tara said.

“We were,” you said.

“Look, when she came to my gates,” Michonne said, “I asked her to run away. And when she didn't, I was angry.”

“Then you know why I'm not okay with this,” Tara said.

“I do. I also know why Rick didn't trust me when I showed up at the gates of the prison. And how people didn't trust you after seeing you on the other side of the Governor's firing line,” Michonne said.

“Or how Daryl nearly took my head off when he met me,” you added and Daryl raised a brow at you, remembering the moment.

“I was gonna kill you on sight when you washed up on our shore,” Rachel added.

“Okay, okay,” Tara said. “That’s fair.”

“Lydia didn’t choose where she came from,” you said. “None of us did, but she deserves the chance to be apart of something. She deserves a family who will care about her.”

“Second chances don’t come around often,” Rachel added, supporting you. You thought that statement was ironic considering who was constantly living in your mind.

“I left some of my best fighters at Hilltop, but if Daryl's right about these skin job numbers, it's not enough people,” Tara said.

“We should take a group to Hilltop to protect ‘em just in case,” Daryl said.

“I’ll take some from Kingdom,” added Carol.

“Oceanside can spare some,” Rachel said.

“Alexandria, too,” finished Gabriel.

“Nobody is going to fight this war alone,” you said. “The only reason we won the last one is that we were together. If Alpha does come after us, we can’t afford to be on different sides anymore.”

“So, we head out in the morning?” asked Rachel.

“Nah, we go today,” Daryl said. “Best not to give them any more time.” Michonne then spoke up again.

“In order to face this threat, the four communities have to present a united front. Which is why I'm proposing a mutual protection pact. An attack against one community is an attack against all of us. Together, we can make these people think twice before moving against the Hilltop,” Michonne said and you and Gabriel nodded, backing her up.

“The leadership of the Kingdom is very amenable to this idea,” Ezekiel said after looking to his Queen.

“Oceanside is in,” Rachel agreed.

“So, how do we seal it?” Tara asked. “Cause I’m not doin’ a blood oath with (Y/N).” You just smiled sweetly at her.

“I have just the thing…” Ezekiel said as he got up and walked into the wings of the stage. From a crate, he pulled out an old theater poster frame, and from it, he pulled the community charter.

“You’ve had that thing this whole time?” you asked, impressed.

“I’m a man of many surprises,” he said and you raised your hands in surrender.

“Fair enough.”

Ezekiel lay the charter on the table and one by one, the leaders of the communities signed. Rachel signed for Oceanside, Tara for Hilltop, Ezekiel and Carol for The Kingdom, and Gabriel for Alexandria. You looked at all the people in that room as you stood next to Daryl and you felt as something big had just happened.

Everything was finally coming together and your family was finally whole again.

--------

You and Judith began walking laps around the fair.

The young girl picked at a candy apple that she held in her hands. “Can I ask you something?” Judith asked, peering up at you from under her hat.

“Go for it,” you said.

“Did you talk to him before you left?” she asked.

“Subtle,” you said, flicking her hat.

“I’m just making sure you’re okay,” Judith said. “I don’t like it when you two fight.”

“When did you become such a matchmaker?” you asked.

“I’m not!” she said. “I can just see that he likes you a lot...maybe more than a lot.” You paused in your tracks.

“What do you know?” you asked, your eyes narrowed.

“Nothin’,” Judith said, but you weren’t buying it.

“Remember Jude, I watched you grow up. I can see through you,” you said.

“Nope, I’m a wall!” she announced as she bit into her apple again.

“Right,” you snorted.

“But are you okay?” she asked, this time her voice was a bit more serious. Well, as serious as a ten or eleven-year-old could be.

“Yeah, kid, I’m okay. I actually think I figured it all out,” you said. Which was true, you had figured it out, but now you were just trying to get the courage to do something about it. All in all, no matter how angry you were with him or how upset, what you felt for Negan was bigger than all of it.

“Good,” she said with a smile. As the two of you walked, you began to feel a chill in the air. You noticed Lydia and Henry up ahead walking hand in hand and as your breath became visible before you, you shivered. “I think a storm is coming,” Judith said.

“Yeah?”

“I can feel it,” she said.

“Where’d you learn that trick?”

“From Mom who learned it from Uncle Daryl,” Judith said. You couldn’t help but smile at her then.

“Smart,” you said and she laughed before grabbing your hand and dragging you further into the fray, her candy apple swinging alongside her.

---------

Back in Alexandria, Negan lay on the floor of his cell as he tossed a ball in his hands.

When the door to the cell opened, he had no idea who it could be and because he knew it wasn’t you, he didn’t care. However, when he heard the person clear their throat, he did sit up.

“What do I owe this pleasure?” he asked. Laura stepped further into the light and in her hands was a new winter coat.

“there’s a storm on the way,” she said. “I was asked to give you this.” Negan stood as she passed it through the bars.

“Thanks, Laura,” he said and she nodded. Negan hadn’t spoken to his former lieutenant since the fall of the Sanctuary, at least no more than a few words here and there.

“I’m sorry,” Laura suddenly said. Negan was confused as he braced a hand on the bars.

“What are you apologizing for? Isn’t that my job?” he asked.

“I’m sorry that your life ended up like...this,” she said, but Negan was already shaking his head.

“Don’t apologize for the shit that I did,” he said. “You know better than anyone that what I was doin’ was eventually gonna get me dead or locked up. I guess I can just be glad that Rick didn’t cut any further than he did.” Laura nodded, hearing him.

“Still, you were always fair to me and kind. I also wanted to thank you. While being a Savior wasn’t the most moral of things, if you hadn’t found me all those years ago and brought me to the Sanctuary, I’d be dead.”

“Silver lining, then?” he offered.

“A small one,” Laura said. Negan smiled softly at that.

“I’m proud of you, Kid. You managed to make a new life, one that I should have tried to give you years ago. Don’t screw it up.”

“I won’t if you won’t,” she said and then offered her fist to him. He bumped it with his own.

“I’ll take that deal,” Negan said. Laura smiled and then went to leave, but right before she left, she turned one last time.

“Oh and if you hurt (Y/N), I’ll castrate you with a rusty spoon,” she said with a grin before leaving. Negan stared after her and he was suddenly very aware of everything on his body.

“Fucking hell.”

-------

Eventually, it was time to head to Hilltop.

When you told Aaron you were going to help, he wasn’t surprised. “I knew you couldn’t sit still for long,” he had said. “Just be careful.”

You promised that you would and headed to the main gate to prepare to leave. Daryl was getting his bike off the trailer when you found him. You were tightening your sword’s scabbard when he looked up.

“Ready to go?” you asked.

“Yeah,” he said. “Lydia is gonna stay here and then Aaron and Gabriel will bring her to Alexandria.”

“Sounds good,” you said.

“Mmhmm,” he said. “Are you in any rush to get back there?”

“You and Judith spend too much time together,” you said with a knowing look.

“So, you and Negan…”

“We really don’t need to talk about it, D,” you said.

“Are ya sure?”

“I’m so over talking about it,” you admitted. “I just gotta do something.”

“When ya do, I don’t need the details,” he snarked.

“Asshole,” you muttered and he just smirked. “Where ya gonna go after we get to Hilltop? I heard Ezekiel offering you to make Kingdom your home.”

“Not sure if this place is gonna last much longer,” he said with a sigh.

“You know that Alexandria is always going to be your home, right? No matter how long it’s been.”

“I know,” he said.

“We can’t keep running, Daryl. Come home,” you said. He was quiet for a moment before he dropped his head.

“Alright,” he agreed, “but after we handle Hilltop.”

“Okay.”

Soon everyone was saying goodbye and assuring that they would all be safe. Tara was sending her people out first before following after. Ezekiel was trying to get her to stay for the rest of the fair, but she said that she needed to get home. So, Dianne was going to lead her soldiers home.

As you were securing Daryl’s bow to his bike, you noticed him with Dog as he spoke to Connie. It was subtle, but there was something about his body language that told you a lot. Perhaps Connie was more than just a friend. You watched on as he awkwardly waved to her and when he turned back to you, his eyes narrowed.

“Shut up,” he said as he went up to you.

“I didn’t say anything,” you said.

“Nah, but you were thinking it. I can see it on your face,” he said.

“She’s pretty,” you said.

“And yer annoyin’,” he countered.

“Hey, who am I to judge?” you said with your hands raised.

“Yeah, exactly.” With a roll of your eyes, you climbed onto the back of Daryl’s bike as he took the spot in front. Michonne waved to Judith as you and the others pulled out of Kingdom. You hadn’t seen Lydia before you left, but Ezekiel said that he would keep an eye on her for you.

It was odd that you had essentially become her advocate with Daryl as her main protector. You never imagined you would essentially become a parent to a messed up teen, but here you were.

Yumiko and Magna rode behind you, their weapons at the ready and you kept your head on a swivel as you all move through the woods. Walkers were around, but only a few at a time and were easily taken out by the archers. Still, any time one would make itself known, you could feel Daryl tense in front of you. It was going to be a long night.

You were well into the ride when you came across three men who flagged you down.

Carol seemed to know them as she walked up to meet them. “What’s wrong, Ozzy?” she asked.

“Ya gotta see this, Boss,” the man, Ozzy, said. He seemed very concerned as he gestured you all forward. Daryl shouldered his bow as he followed and you and Michonne were right behind him, both of your hands on your swords.

The Highway Men, as Carol referred to them, had been acting as security and watchers for The Kingdom. They were good trackers, fighters, and were the newest addition to the community. What they had found on their patrol, worried you a lot.

It looked as if a pack of wild animals had attacked a caravan. “We were clearing the roads. Spotted tracks leading here,” Ozzy said.

“It's from Hilltop,” Yumiko said, holding up one of the wooden pendants that were crafted there. The same one that Lydia wore around her neck.

“Walkers didn’t do this,” you said with a glance to Daryl “This was people.”

“Skins?” Michonne asked and then looked to the Highway Men. “You know about them?”

“We got the download,” Ozzy confirmed. “We would have seen any people out here with my patrols, but not if they were covered in Skins.”

“Fantastic,” you said, your nerves growing.

“(Y/N),” Daryl called, “look at this.” You met him down by the broken carriage and realized what he was seeing.

“They fought back,” you said. “They were dragged away. That way,” you said with a point.

“Come on,” Daryl said.

“We can’t all go,” Dianne said. “If this was the Whisperers, then they would have followed this from Hilltop. We need to get back.”

“Michonne and I will go with (Y/N) and Daryl,” Carol said. “Rest of you ride for Hilltop.”

“We can continue our patrols around here,” Ozzy said and Carol nodded.

“Alright,” said Michonne. “We’ll see if we can find them and bring them home.” You nodded to Michonne and then everyone was shaking hands and promising to meet up later. Yumiko then joined you, offering her bow.

“Stay close and if you see Walkers, don’t hesitate. They could be Whisperers,” you said.

“And if they are,” Michonne said, “go for the kill.”

—————

“I really don’t like this,” you said as you walked next to Yumiko. Carol and Daryl were in the front while Michonne was at the back, her Katana in her hand.

“Neither do I,” Yumiko said as she gripped her bow tighter. “Do you people do this a lot?”

“Only when it’s necessary,” you said. “We try not to get involved, but we usually end up doing just that.”

“I don’t know how you do it,” she said.

“We do it because nobody else will.”

“And your families, are they okay with this?”

“My family is right in front of me,” you said. “We’ve been fighting since day one, I don’t think any of that is going to change.”

“Then I’m glad that I have you on my side,” Yumiko said and you gave her a half-smile.

“Me too.”

Daryl was tracking the Hilltop members that were attacked. You kept back, but mirrored his steps, just in case he missed anything. He never did, but it was a force of habit. All you could think about was Alpha’s face and every shadow in the woods was keeping you on edge.

“Don’t give her an inch…” Negan had said. He had wanted you to be strong and you weren’t going to let him down. Whatever happened when you saw him again, it didn’t matter. You just needed to see his face again. That was what kept you going.

You had to get home to Negan.

“Magna is worried about me,” Yumiko said, trying to change the mood. You nodded, grateful for the distraction.

“That’s actually a good thing. It means she cares about you,” you said.

“Do you have one? A Magna?” Yumiko asked.

“Sort of,” you said with a sigh. “It’s complicated.”

“Word of advice,” Yumiko said. “Uncomplicate it because if you are lucky to have them, you better keep them.”

“Thanks, Yumiko,” you said and she knocked your shoulder with her own.

As you walked, Michonne and you both took down Walkers with your blades, taking their heads off their shoulders. It took you a few to get the hang of the new weapon, but it was beginning to feel natural. You would definitely need to do some proper training with Michonne when you got home though.

It was after dusk when Daryl told everyone to halt. Then, from out of the trees came Walkers that you instantly recognized.

“They’re from Hilltop!” you said as you went for the first one. In a long arc, you swung your sword at the Dead man who came at you. His head was cut from his body and you pierced the brain as it rolled to your feet.

From there on, more and more Dead converged as the sun set and darkness wrapped around the five of you. “I can’t see,” Yumiko said.

“Stay together!” Daryl shouted, placing you at his back as you and Michonne leveled your blades. The archers, all three of them, let go of their bows and drew their knives. Daryl held two blades in each of his hands as he prepared to strike.

“Watch their hands!” Michonne yelled as the Walkers fell upon you. You could feel the blood from the other Dead splashing on the back of your neck as you fought your own Walkers.

Your arms stung from the exertion, but you couldn’t slow down. Fear settled into your bones as you fought, but Negan’s voice returned to you.

“You are stronger than them and the only way they win is if you let them,” he had said and with those words being screamed in your head, you swung again, feeling your adrenaline spike.

“Back to the road!” Daryl yelled and everyone began running. “This way,” he grunted reaching for you, but before you could find him in the dark, the sound of a gun cocking had everyone freezing in their steps.

“Drop them,” a horrific whisper said and if you hadn't already been scared, that sound chilled you to your soul. More and more whispers came from around you and your grip loosened on your sword. “I won’t ask twice.”

“Beta…” Daryl sneered and you felt your heart fall into your heart. Beta was alive and you could feel the anger that echoed around him. One by one you all dropped your weapons and the Skins picked them up. Seeing the dirty hands of a Whisperer touch Paul’s sword made you sick.

“You just had to give me the girl,” Beta whispered. “No one else had to die. Now that deal...is done.” His words washed over you and no matter how many times you tried to focus on Negan’s face or his voice, all you heard was Beta’s horrifying voice.

“You touch the girl and I’ll tear your throat out with my teeth,” you snarled. Beta walked up to you and grabbed you by the throat, angling your face to meet his. You stared back with unwavering disgust.

“You make veiled threats,” he said.

“Come a little closer and we’ll see how veiled they are,” you said, pushing in closer. Beta shoved you back and you stumbled into Carol who quickly righted you.

“Take them,” Beta ordered and his people moved in.

One by one, you were tied up. The Skins tied your hands behind your back and pressed blades to your backs, forcing you to walk ahead, leading you somewhere. Your heart was trying to leap from your chest, but you took deep breaths as you tried to keep a level head.

You could still smell the rot that revolved around Beta and it made your stomach churn. You were forced to walk behind Yumiko whose hands were moving. In the moonlight, you could make out some of the shapes and realized she was signing.

“Stay calm,” she was signing over and over again. You were very grateful then that you knew ASL well enough to understand her.

You walked for a bit longer before you reached a clearing and suddenly, you were seven years younger. You half expected for headlights to light up the surrounding area. Daryl and Michonne must have felt it too as they were tense as well.

However, this time, Negan would not be there to just kill two of you. Beta could slaughter all of you for no reason and then turn his sights on Kingdom, Alexandria, and then Hilltop and Oceanside. This was it, you thought, you were going to die.

The Whisperers pushed you into a semicircle, making sure your hands were still secured. You were between Daryl and Michonne and tried to focus on their breathing, but it was difficult. Even if they were thinking of an escape plan, nobody could voice it and nobody was coming to save you.

From the darkness, Alpha finally made herself known. She crept through the night like a predator stalking her prey. Expect, Alpha didn’t kill for food, she killed for sport.

“You ain’t getting her back,” Daryl said, facing down the Matron of the pack.

“You think this is about my daughter?” Alpha asked, tilting her head. “I ran into some trouble on the road,” she said, wiping blood from the knife in her hands on her pants. You struggled against your bonds, wanting to rip her eyes out with your nails. “It was unavoidable.”

“Bullshit,” you shot, but Alpha ignored you.

“Do you like my new camp?” she asked. “My people like to keep moving, keep roaming.”

“We’ve granted Lydia asylum,” you said. “You try to take her and we will fight back.”

“What is your name?” Alpha asked, stopping in front of you.

“...(Y/N),” you said.

“Do they speak for you?” Alpha asked the others.

“We speak for each other,” Daryl countered. Alpha sniffed, unaffected by Daryl’s attempt at camaraderie. Instead, she continued to pace in front of the five of you.

“My daughter isn’t a concern anymore. She was weak, she never lived up to expectations.”

“Was?” you asked as the worst-case scenario entered your mind. “What did you do to her!” Still, Alpha ignored you.

“To be clear,” she said, “your group is in no position to threaten me. That is a habit that needs to be broken.”

“Oh, I’ll break something,” you threatened and Alpha merely smiled at you as if you were some child she was humoring. Turning her attention back to Daryl she pointed at him.

“Come with me,” Alpha said. “Just you.” Beta cut Daryl’s bonds and then pushed him forward. You struggled to go after him, but you couldn’t move.

Daryl glanced back at you once more before following Alpha into the darkness of the trees.

-------

Daryl was gone for a while, and with every minute that ticked by, you grew more fearful that his body was somewhere being torn apart by the Dead.

You, Michonne, Carol, and Yumiko were sitting together by a fallen tree as you waited to be released. Beta was across from the four of you, watching the woods, waiting for his orders.

You began to think about Rick. What would he do right now? What would he say? You also began to think about the conversation you had once had with Negan about evil and humanity.

Alpha and Beta were evil and there was no doubt about it. Evil was around you and you could not find a shred of light to hold onto. Rick had wanted to build a new world, but if this is what it was going to look like, you didn’t want it.

“This is not how I’m dying,” you whispered.

“Nobody is going to die,” Michonne said. “I don’t think Alpha wants to kill us.”

“She said ‘no one else had to die’, meaning she already killed those Hilltop people and now she’s going to keep going. With us.”

“Just try to stay calm.”

“This is me calm. I’m calm and I’m pissed.”

“We’re going to get out of this,” Carol said who hadn’t taken her eyes off of Beta since she sat down.

“I left too much shit unfinished,” you admitted, unable to stop yourself.

“I know,” Michonne said and there was a bit of pity in the tone of her voice. “You know, I actually wish for his psycho ass right about now,” Michonne said and you couldn’t argue with that.

“Don’t we all,” you agreed.

“Who?” Carol asked and Michonne hesitated, but you just shrugged.

“Negan,” Michonne said.

“Who’s that?” Yumiko asked.

“Asshole who we have locked up back home,” said Michonne.

“You think he could take on Beta?” Carol asked, but you shook your head.

“I don’t think a bulldozer could take on Beta,” you said with a glare in the man’s direction.

“Negan would be a good distraction,” Michonne figured and then stopped speaking as she saw the look in your eyes. “Or not.” Carol looked at you in confusion.

You couldn’t imagine Negan going up against someone like Beta. Everyone you had seen him fight, he had been the bigger one. He had been the one in charge and the one with the edge. Negan fighting Beta would have been like a Mustang charging a Semi Truck. That was not something you wanted to see.

“Am I missing something?” Carol asked.

“No,” you and Michonne said at the same time. Carol narrowed her eyes but didn’t push it any further. Instead, you all sat there in silence as you waited for the fate you were sure you were about to meet.

You didn’t know how much time had passed when the sun began to rise again. Nobody spoke and nobody moved as the Whisperers began to disperse. Beta then gestured to you and your companions.

Slowly, his people approached and cut your bonds. Nobody dared to move as Beta watched over you. He then ordered his people to hand back your weapons.

“Go West,” he sneered. “You’ll find your man.”

“Come on,” Michonne said, moving Carol in front of her as Yumiko followed. You hesitated, glaring at Beta who leveled his knife at you in something that felt like a promise. Almost as if he was saying that the next time he saw you, he was going to kill you. In your mind, you made the same promise.

The sun rose quickly as you hiked through the woods, following Beta’s orders. “Something feels wrong,” you said as you fastened your sword to your side. Carol was holding Daryl’s bow and blades as you walked.

“We got out, that’s all that matters,” Michonne said, but you had a feeling something was very wrong.

It didn’t take long for you to find Daryl.

He seemed unharmed, but you could tell he was angry. Carol reached him first, handing him his bow and kissing him on the cheek. Michonne hugged him too and Yumiko clapped him on the shoulder. When he reached you, you hugged him tightly.

“I thought she was going to kill you,” you said.

“Nah, not yet,” he said and then nodded his head in another direction. “This way.”

You all followed Daryl who seemed to be on a mission. Whatever Alpha had told him had him set on a path and you were willing to go with him no matter what.

You walked until the sun was finally above you and then, Daryl picked up his speed. “Daryl?” you called, but he just kept running. Eventually, you saw what he was running towards. “Oh my god.”

“Siddiq!” Michonne yelled as she ran up the hill towards the Doctor who was leaning against a dead tree and behind him, was another.

“Enid!” you yelled as you saw her struggling as well. You slid to her side, using one of Daryl’s knife that he tossed to you to cut her bonds. As soon as she was free, she nearly crawled to you, gripping you tight. Enid was shaking and so was Siddiq who held onto Michonne. “Shh, it’s okay,” you assured her.

“What happened?” Michonne asked, but both of them could barely speak.

“I… I…,” Siddiq stuttered out as Enid pointed up the hill with tears in her eyes. Slowly, you pulled Enid into you and began the trek up the hill.

“No…” you whispered in horror as you saw what was ahead. It was too far to make out details, but the smell of fresh and Dead blood wafted towards you. Enid was trembling in your arms as tears fell down her face.

Nobody spoke as you crested the hill, but nobody needed to as you got closer. As soon as it became apparent what was before you, Yumiko fell to her knees and Michonne gasped in pain.

At the top of the hill were nine pikes and on each one, was the head of someone you knew.

You started at the beginning, your bones as cold as ice as milky white eyes stared at you. They hadn’t killed the brain and as you looked at the first pike, Ozzy, the Highway Man, was staring at you with vacant eyes and a gaping mouth. Next to him was Alek, and then, DJ.

Your heart sank as you saw who was next. Frankie, one of Negan’s former wives and a spitfire of a woman. Her red hair blew in the wind as blood and gore dripped from the flesh at the base of her severed neck.

Tammy was next and Enid cried harder as she saw the older woman. A woman you knew who had taken care of Enid at Hilltop. You struggled to keep the young woman upright, but it was difficult as you nearly collapsed when you saw the next two.

Rodney and Addy.

The teens that you knew from Hilltop were gasping with their breathless mouths as their gray skin dulled in the sunlight, but who was next made you crash to the ground.

“No!” you screamed as you saw Tara’s dark hair blowing in the wind.

Enid fell next to you as the woman who she saw as a sister stared at her with empty eyes. Sobs echoed out of you as you stared at her, but that wasn’t compared to Daryl who immediately began yelling.

“No, No!” he yelled as he ran for Carol “Just look at me, just look at me,” he said as he held onto his best friend. That’s when you finally looked at the final pike and everything around you broke.

It was Henry.

Enid was leaning all of her weight onto you just as Siddiq was doing to Michonne. Carol had fallen into Daryl and Yumiko was crying as she beheld the horror.

Alpha had done this. She had taken these people from you, but left two alive as witnesses. She had killed children, friends, leaders, and left you feeling empty.

You had been through so much, lost so much, and, yet this felt as if someone had torn your soul from your body. As the wind continued to blow, all you could hear were Enid’s screams and Carol’s sobs as yet another child was stolen from her.

---------

“We were there,” Siddiq began as he stood on the stage in The Kingdom.

You stood next to Daryl and Lydia was in front of you both as you listened. Enid was across from you in the protective arms of Alden who hadn’t let her go since you returned.

“Enid and I were taken with the others. And I saw... We were supposed to die with them and I was ready to.” Siddiq went on, speaking for both him and Enid considering she could barely say a word. Aaron was sure she was in shock.

Siddiq went on, “Then, Alpha whispered in our faces as she knelt before us, ‘Tell them’, she said… she then said that two sets of eyes were better than one. Then, something hit me, and everything went black.”

Lydia leaned back into you and you gripped her tight. You noticed that Daryl was holding onto the other side of her. You knew that you needed to protect her now more than ever.

“And when I woke up, it was just the two of us,” Siddiq said with a look to Enid who stared back with red-rimmed eyes. “What happened was evil. It was evil. And I think she left us alive to tell you that story. To scare you and to drive us all apart again. But I want to tell you a different story.” Siddiq then looked at you and you could see that he was struggling. You gave him a nod of encouragement.

“See,” he went on, “before the end... Ozzy, Alek, and DJ found us and they gave us an opening. And everyone fought back. They fought like hell. And what they did was more than brave. 'Cause they defended each other. And they sacrificed for each other... And some of them... they didn't even know each other, but they still fought like they did. Like they were family. 'Till the very end.”

Tears were flowing from his eyes and your own, but you tried to put on a brave face for him, for Enid.

“And in the end, they... Their time was cut short, but ours keeps going. So we have to keep going. For them and for all of us. We need to honor them. We need to honor them, and we need to remember these friends, our family, died as heroes. That's the story that I want to tell you. That's the story that I want us all to remember.”

In the quiet of the fair as Ezekiel and Carol cried in silence, you swore that you would remember and when it came down to it, you would avenge them.

—————

Once the pikes were taken care of and the tears stopped, for the time being, people began to move out.

However, as winter moved in, The Kingdom was no longer capable to house the members of the community. They would need to move and Michonne was going to stay to help them do that.

While you wanted nothing more to help, you needed to be somewhere else, with someone else. As you stood by the main building of The Kingdom’s square, Michonne approached you.

“There’s a storm coming,” she said quietly, her voice a bit hoarse from crying. You were sure that yours sounded the same.

“I know.”

“We need to move these people to Hilltop and Alexandria,” she said and you nodded in agreement. “(Y/N),” she said, “can you get her home, please?”

Turning to look at her, you were surprised to hear the desperation in her tone. “Michonne?” you asked.

“Please, get Judith home and protect her. Protect my daughter,” she said, once again on the verge of tears. You pulled her into your arms and clutched at your friend. You hadn’t been the closest with Michonne since she arrived at the gates of the prison, but you had a feeling that was about to change.

When you pulled back, you held her by the shoulders and looked her in the eyes. “I will,” you said. “I will protect her with my life.”

“They were brave,” Michonne whispered and you knew who she meant.

“Yes, they were,” you agreed. “And we will not let their deaths be in vain.” Michonne nodded, gripping your arms.

“Go to him,” she said.

“Michonne…”

“No, you listen to me,” she said as it was her turn to be serious. “I do not care what people think about him. Don’t worry about that. He could have lost you and as much as I have my demons when it comes to Negan, you have to go. Trust me when I say that Death does not discriminate when it comes to the man someone loves. Even if that man is...unconventional.”

“But…”

“No,” she cut you off. “Take Judith and go home. Stop overthinking it, (Y/N). You said you had left things unfinished, right?”

“Right.”

“Then, finish them.”

—————-

The ride to Alexandria was very different than the departure.

You rode on a horse alongside the carriage that held Gabriel, Aaron, Gracie, Judith, Eugene, and others. Nobody spoke and nobody relaxed until the comforting gates of Alexandria were in view.

For the kids’ sake you put on a brave face, but as soon as your horse came to a stop and the gates slid closed, you could barely keep it together. “Scott!” you called as you dismounted. He ran up to you as you helped Judith down from the makeshift carriage. “Take her,” you begged the man. He nodded as he gathered his bag. You then turned to Judith. “You need to go to your brother,” you said.

“What?” she asked.

“Go find RJ and give him the biggest hug he can handle, okay?” Judith nodded at your words.

“Are you going to be okay?”

“Not for a while,” you admitted, and then she was wrapping her small arms around you and you let a tear slide down your cheek. “I’m going to come over later and we’ll have dinner, okay?”

“Okay,” she whispered and with a final squeeze, you let her go as she ran after Scott who was waiting for her. Ignoring Aaron, Eugene, and the others, you turned your back on the stables and began to run.

You didn’t slow as you ran towards the main street. Your boots slid on the slick spots of ice that littered the ground, but you kept going. Stopping before the Grimes house, you searched your pockets for your key ring.

You couldn’t get your hands to stop shaking as you found the right one and jogged down the steps towards the jail. Slipping the key in the lock, you shoved the door open.

The loud noise alerted Negan to your presence. He was laying on his cot, but when he saw the tears that flowed down your cheeks and coated your collar, he launched to his feet.

“(Y/N)?” he asked, staring at you in shock. You kept moving, switching the key on the ring and inserting it into the lock of the cell itself. You wrenched it open and faced him, taking him all in. “What happened?” he asked, staring at you with concern.

You didn’t answer him right away. Instead, you took your time to memorize his face, the set of his jaw, how his shoulders were settled on his torso, and especially that wonderful light that was in his eyes. You choked back another sob as you moved into his space.

“(Y/N)?” Negan asked you again. Reaching up, you placed your hands on his face, feeling the warmth of life beneath his skin. With a deep breath, you got your voice back.

“Don’t make me lose you, too,” you whispered and then, you gripped him by the back of his neck and pulled his lips to yours.

Negan immediately wrapped his arms around you, holding you closer to him as he kissed you back without hesitation. It was as if a dam broke inside you as light burst behind your eyes. Negan kissed you tenderly, but it was full of urgency as well.

Pulling yourself tighter against him, you were worried that he would be pulled away at any moment. He didn’t seem to be ready to let go either as he lifted you up, tilting his head back to get a better angle.

Your tears dripped down onto his face, wetting the stubble on his jaw, but he didn’t care. Negan didn’t care about anything else at that moment. All he cared about was you in his arms as he finally got to show much you meant to him.

When you pulled back to get some air, he set you down. Negan looked at you in awe and while you knew you had to explain what had happened, there was something you had to say first. Something that you had felt for a long time.

“I love you, Negan,” you said, your voice soft as it mingled with his own breath. He looked in your eyes and you watched as the words resonated with him. His eyes grew softer and all the tension in his body dissolved. Negan reached up and placed his hand against your face.

“I love you, too,” he said and then pulled your lips back to his.

You clutched at the man in your arms, your new reason for living. You knew that war was finally coming and that Death was not done with any of you yet, but in that small cell, in the arms of the man you loved, you let it all become whispers on the wind as the first snowflakes began to fall.

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#the walking dead #walkerwords #the savior sessions #twd imagines #negan imagines #negan imagine #negan x gn reader #negan x reader #angst #the walking dead fanfics #whisperers #canon divergence #twd #twd fanfiction #negan x you #negan x y/n

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belovedbangtan · 4 years ago

Text

DIVE : Part 2

Pairings: Jungkook x y/n, Yoongi x oc

Word Count: 4.4k

Description: Camping with your ex, sounds horrible right? The camping trip was planned and payed for long before y/n’s shitty boyfriend broke up with her. Her best friend Abby, Yoongi, Taehyung, Jimin, and Jungkook are there to make sure she has an amazing time. However, sharing a tent with a smoke show like Jungkook is bound to lead to some complications.

Warnings: Language, lap dance, streaking, alcohol use, dom!Jk, sub!yn, fingering.

✨✨⭐️✨✨⭐️✨✨⭐️✨✨⭐️✨✨⭐️

When you wake up the next morning, Jungkook is already gone. You quickly start to brush your hair and make yourself look somewhat presentable before anyone has the chance to see you. You brush your hair, putting it in a simple braid to the side. You shuffle though your bag of clothes pulling out a baggy t-shirt and another pair of jean shorts. You jump when you hear the zip of the tent as you’re pulling the shorts over your hips.

“Sup Sexy lady.” Abby sings as she barges inside, plopping down on the air mattress.

“Fuck, you scared me. I thought you were Jungkook,” You scold as you pull the shirt over your bralette.

“Wait,” she sits up and looks around with a disgusted look on her face, “Should I be on this mattress?”

“Oh my god. We definitely didn’t sleep together if that’s what you’re implying.” You roll your eyes as you fold Jungkook’s blanket.

Abby’s lower lip jets out, “But why not.” She pretends to wipe a tear away.

“Uhm, idk maybe because I haven’t even talked to the dude.”

“Well… Kook, Tae, Jimin and Yoongi all want to go Horseback riding if you,” She wiggles her eyebrows, “would like to talk to ‘the dude’,” She rolls her eyes as she quotes me.

“And you’re ex is doing something with his group of douches.”

“Okay, that sounds fun.”

You both left the tent and met up with the boys who were waiting patiently for you by the SUV. When you got there you instantly noticed the way Jungkook’s eyes made their way up your body. When his eyes meet yours you quickly look away. Tae holds the door open for you as you approach, you slide in and he slides in after you.

“I almost punched your ex in the mouth last night.” Tae blurts out unexpectantly.

“What the fuck!” You gasp but you can’t help but laugh at the image of that. It’s definitely something you wouldn’t mind seeing. Tae starts to explain that after you had fallen asleep he came over to their beer pong game, and started to trash talk you.

“Kept saying that ‘it’s pathetic that she came to babysit me’ and shit like that. Like he deadass believes you’re here to win him back.” Tae’s eyes roll into the back of his head.

You take a deep breath, unsure of how to process the new information. If you were being honest, you didn’t think he thought about you at all. So for him to bring you up in conversation was a bit unexpected, and out of character. However, him claiming that you were there to ‘babysit him’ was something you could definitely hear him saying.

“You aren’t here to get him back are you?” Tae’s eyes widen as he looks over at you, “Because I definitely did not say nice things to him.” His presses his lips together thinking he might have fucked up.

“Are you kidding? No. Not a chance in hell.” You scoff.

“Good. You deserve better than that asshole, I can’t believe how close we used to be. Fuck… Jungkook was best friends with him when they were kids.” Jimin blurts out.

You slowly turn around to make eye contact with Jungkook. How did you not know this information. After being with Ben for nearly a year, you had no clue. Jungkook looks up at you raising his eyebrows and nodding as if to tell you that it was true, and definitely not something he liked to talk about.

“So, if you don’t like him, why do you guys hang out?” you ask the obvious question, hoping for a simply explanation.

“I mean, we’re still friends with people in his group of friends. So when we have big events, he’s always there,” Jimin explains he shrugs, “I guess we haven’t really thought about it much until now.”

You nod, looking out the window. You think about it and it makes sense. Anytime you went to a gathering, things were always awkward between Ben and the boys. Most of Ben’s friends would talk to them casually, and it was never awkward or uncomfortable. You remember Abby warning you before you were brainwashed into giving him a chance. She couldn’t give a reason to say no to him, you assumed because she didn’t know him well enough. Eventually she reasoned and backed off, telling you that she would support whatever decision you made.

After a short ride you finally arrive to the stables. You go inside and pay, then the instructors designate a horse for each person. The instructor brings over a beautiful grey horse, named Eve. You lightly pat her before your instructor helps you over. After everyone has mounted their horse, you start on the trail. Side by side, Yoongi was next to Abby, Tae next to Jimin, then Jungkook was next to you. The instructors were ahead and behind the group to make sure the horses were behaving properly.

The trail you chose was supposed to take you to the top of the mountain to a lookout. You definitely didn’t anticipate the rocky terrain, or the feeling that you would fall off the horse. After a few minutes you peak over when you hear a quiet laugh coming from Jungkook.

“What’s so funny?” you blurt out, still maintaining your stiff posture.

“Are you scared?” He looks over at you with a smirk plastered across his face.

“No,” You attempt to loosen your grip, instantly regretting the decision to do so, “and if I was, should you really be laughing at me?” You mumble breathlessly.

He giggles, “No. Probably not,” You watch him as he pushes his lips out in attempt to hide the apparent humor in his features, “Look, just relax. You’re not going to fall off.” He lets go of the harness and leans back. He wiggles his body to show you that it’s okay to move.

“Eve, you’re not gonna let y/n fall are you,” He leans forward asking your horse with a voice sweeter than honey, “Yeah, see… she said no. So just relax, babe.” He says calmly.

You giggle as he attempts to distract you, you don’t miss the way the nickname makes your body heat up, “Okay, okay,” you sit up and roll your neck, loosening your body one limb at a time, “this better? Do I look like a pro?” You giggle, you’re knuckles still white from your tight grip on harness.

He laughs hard this time, “Mhm, definitely a Pro. The cutest Horseback rider I’ve ever seen, that’s for sure.”

Your cheeks turn a deep shade of red and you try your hardest to maintain your composure.

“So you used to be best friends with Ben?” You ask quietly hopefully changing the subject.

He sighs loudly, looking off in the distance, “Unfortunately.” He responds quietly.

You nod, clearly not wanted to press on if he was uncomfortable. He clears his throat,

“Our parents were good friends. We stayed friends through school, until he slept with not 1, not 2, but 3 of my girlfriends.” He laughed to himself, shaking his head in disapproval, “And he would tell me, it wasn’t his fault my girls were such whores.” He mumbles.

You bite your lip, closing your eyes for just a moment. You couldn’t believe you wasted an entire year with someone as disgusting as him. You wondered if he cheated on you while you were with him. More than anything you were pissed that someone would do that to their so called friend. You couldn’t imagine the pain that must’ve cause Jungkook.

“That’s fucking awful, I’m sorry he did that.” You apologize even though you know it won’t mean anything.

“No its fine, just made me realize what a piece of shit he is. Just sucks we still have the same friend groups.”

“He is most definitely a piece of shit,” You chuckle, at least you can agree with that.

“Yeah I don’t know why someone like you even entertained someone like him for that long.”

All you hear him say is ‘someone like you’ and you need to know what that means. You pause before asking because you’re not sure you’re even ready to hear his answer.

“Someone like me?”

He smiles, “Yeah, you know. Someone smart, caring, down to earth, beautiful,” He pauses to look over at you, “the whole package, some might say.”

You look over at him in complete shock, you nod your head slowly looking for the words to follow up, but you can’t find them.

“Some might say?” You hear Tae laugh from the horse in front of you, “Bro, you’re the one that says that.”

Jungkook eyes him down and Tae knows that once they’re off of these horses his ass his grass.

You cant help but to laugh at the two boys, “I’m mean, I’m not sure I agree with that but… I can agree with the fact that we were definitely not a great match.”

Jungkook nods, his cheeks are rosy and you smile to yourself as you think about him getting embarrassed over Tae calling him out.

“Thanks for covering me up last night,” you whisper loud enough for Jungkook to hear. Not wanting to involve Tae and Jimin in our conversation they were clearly eves dropping on.

His cheeks turn impossibly rosier, “No problem, you looked cold.”

“I was,” you smile and he smiles back, “I should have taken you up on your offer to sleep on the air mattress with you, my back was fucked this morning.” You giggle

“So does that mean you’re going to let me cuddle with you tonight?” He asks without a beat.

The rosiness on his cheeks is gone, and dominant Jungkook is back and sending shock waves through your body once again.

“I guess it does.” You agree. You’d be crazy to say no to him. The fact that all you could think about as you slept was cuddling with him didn’t help either.

You finally get to the top of the mountain, and you watch everyone dismount their horses with ease. Jungkook get off and brushes his hair out of his eyes as he walks over to you. He holds his hand out for you to take. When you swing your leg over, he takes you in his arms and set you on the ground. His face a few inches from yours you wonder what would happen if you just closed the gap and let your lips touch. His eyes look from yours down to your lips as if he’s considering the same thing. He brings his hand up to your cheek, cupping it for a moment before he brushes something away along your cheek bone.

“You had some dirt.” He smirks, yet his hand doesn’t leave your face.

“Could you two keep it in your pants for a few more hours?” you hear Jimin whining from the lookout. You both pull away and laugh as you start walking towards the group. Abby pulls beers out of her backpack passing them out to everyone. You know you probably shouldn’t considering you haven’t eaten but you know she’ll call you out if you don’t. Every part of your body wants to look at Jungkook, wants to know if he’s looking at you.

After the instructors take a group picture of you all at the lookout, you get back on your horses and head back to the stables. Tae and Jimin decided to lead a sing-along on the way back, which you were thankful for. You needed time to process all the flirting between you and Jungkook. You clearly didn’t mind it but, part of your brain was screaming to slow down. Jungkook seemed like someone you could actually fall in love with and that scared the fuck out of you. You didn’t even feel that way the entire time you were with Ben, which was even scarier. The thought of you and Jungkook cuddling tonight makes you feel things you haven’t felt in a long time. A mixture of nerves and excitement confusing your brain. Hopefully, the rest of the day would ease your mind about the decision you already made.

✨✨⭐️✨✨⭐️✨✨⭐️✨✨⭐️✨✨⭐️

A few hours later you’re all sitting around the campfire. Ben and his group of friends return from their activities and you instantly begin drinking more than you should. Each drop of tequila making your brain a little fuzzier. Jungkook walks over to you, with a shot of tequila and a hot dog.

You’re eyes widen as notice the shot, “For me!?” you squeal reaching out for the shot of tequila, only to be smacked on the hand.

“No, you need to eat before you have more Tequila,” he chuckles as he hands you the hotdog. You roll your eyes dramatically.

“You’re no fun, Kookie,” You pout and you take note of the way the nickname makes him blush. You want to make him blush like that a million times more. You wonder what other nicknames make him blush.

“Awe princess, I can be fun. I promise.” He reassured you, licking his lips as he puts the shot of Tequila to his lips and tilts his head back. You know you’re staring but you can’t help it. Everything about him was pulling you in. You turn away and you eat the hotdog because he was right. You choose to ignore the fact that he paid enough attention to know that you needed to eat something. The fact that he paid that much attention at all was mind blowing to you.

As you finish eating, one of the girls that’s in Ben’s group of friends starts a game of truth or dare. She demands that everyone has to play, instantly making your roll your eyes. Abby pulls her chair up next to yours, Yoongi, Tae, and Jimin follow her lead. Jungkook decides to sit on your left. The girl who starts the game, decides she’ll go first and she picks Lucas, daring him to kiss another one of the girls in the group. You groan knowing exactly where this was heading. Tae gets picked and chooses dare, they dare him run into the river naked. You gasp when he instantly rips his shorts and shirt off and runs towards the river. Jimin, Jungkook, and Yoongi laugh so hard they can’t breath. You and Abby look at each other wide eyed when you realize why Tae wasn’t nervous about being naked. He returns from the dare, everyone gives him a round a applause and he bows after he slides his shorts back on. He looks around the campfire and it takes you off guard when you hear your name roll off of his tongue.

You almost forget you’re playing a game, you nervously look around to see Ben clearly talking about you to one of his friends. Which only pisses you off, “Dare.” You decide confidently.

Devilish doesn’t even begin to describe the mischievous look that paints Tae’s face.

“I dare you…” His eyes flick over to Jungkook, “give Jungkook a lap dance.”

All you hear are gasps and laughter from the people you barely know. You’re heart starts to pound, but the Tequila coursing through your veins is forcing you out of your seat. Tae pulls out his phone and plays F&MU by Kehlani without being asked, almost as if he’s had this planned all along. You take a deep breath and you position yourself in front of Jungkook. He smirks lifting one brow, almost as if challenging you.

You place one leg on either side of his lap, you lean back rolling your hips forwards. He licks his lips looking down at you. The people around you start to cheer you on, hoping to get more from you. You lean forward still grinding into him, kissing his neck and making your way up to the spot just below his ear. You stand up as the chorus starts and you turn around, sitting back down on his lap. You lean back into him as you take his hands, sliding them down your body. You slowly grind to the beat of the song. You giggle as you hear multiple people yell ‘get a room’ jokingly. Jungkook, pulls you into him close placing a kiss to your neck before helping you get off of him and back to your seat. You compose yourself enough to ask Jimin truth or dare, he picks truth, and you bite at your lip as you decide what to ask him.

“Who is the sexiest person here?” You smirk already anticipating his answer.

He bites his lip as he thinks on his answer, laughing to himself when he decides, “After watching you give that lap dance and Tae skinny dip, I think it’s a tie.” He admits with laughter.

Everyone starts to laugh and agree, which instantly made you shy. The game was fun and you’re glad you played. Until one of the girls picks Ben, who of course picks dare. You take a deep breath, and Jungkook’s hand brushes yours. You don’t need to look at him to know that this was his way of comforting you.

She dares Ben to take a body shot off of her. You watch in disgust as he licks up her body in familiar way, and makes out with her longer than necessary. You want to feel unphased by it. You wished you didn’t feel anything at all. You’re heart starts to ache as you watch him pull her into his lap when he’s finished. You breathe easy thinking the worst was over, until he chooses another girl to give him a lap dance as a dare.

You instantly turn away watching the girl awkwardly squirm on top of your ex. Suddenly you feel yourself being yanked out of your seat. A large tattooed hand pulling your towards the table of drinks.

“I think you earned that shot.” Jungkook smirks at you as he pours two shots, handing you one and taking one for himself. He taps his shot to yours and you both shoot it back. The game starts to die off and everyone starts to split up into their groups. Some people head to their tents to take care of the built-up sexual tension the game caused. You stay up for about another hour drinking with Tae, Jimin, and Jungkook. Jimin being a drunk and giggly mess, and Tae being way too loud for how late it was.

“Okay boys, I really need to sleep,” you stand up and Tae tries pulling you back down to him, you giggle as you shake him off, “you should go to sleep too!” You yell as you walk towards the tent. You unzip the tent and bed over to slide inside. You sit on Jungkook’s blow up mattress as you slide your shirt over your head, and your pants off your legs. You reach for the shirt on top of your backpack, knowing that it was Jungkooks. You smirk to yourself as you put it on. Maybe you were poking the bear but really you just hated to wear pants when you slept and his shirt was long enough to be a dress. You pull your pillow and your sleeping bag to the mattress as you lay down. Maybe 15 minutes later Jungkook is unzipping the tent to join you. You see that he has two bottles of water and Aspirin. You’re stomach gets that familiar feeling again, realizing that for the second time today, he’s thinking about your needs.

“Sit up.” He demands and you listen, “So obedient.” He rasps, instantly making you press your legs together. You roll your eyes as he hands you two pills and a bottle of water.

“Drink a lot of that, okay?” He points in your direction; you start to chug it giving him a thumbs up. He tilts his head to the side giggling quietly. He crawls to the place beside you on the air mattress. Laying on his side, his arm propping him up with his head resting his hand.

You finish most of the water, and you set it to the side of the mattress knowing you would wake up with a dry mouth. Jungkook watches as you unzip the sleeping bag to make it big enough to cover the both of you. He smiles when he realizes what you’re doing. You lay down on your back, trying not the think about what might happen in the next few minutes. The air mattress bounces lightly as he closes the small gap between you and him. His fingers tug at the hem of his shirt on your body.

“Comfy?” He raises his eyebrows and you instantly blush. You nod your head so delicately, almost begging him not to be mad at you.

“I’m glad, I could definitely get used to seeing you in my clothes.” His voice is quiet and soft and it melts you like butter. His fingers slide up to your jaw and he gently tugs your face so that you’re looking at him. You swallow hard when your eyes meet his lust filled ones. Without even thinking you’re lifting your lips to his. His hand wraps behind your head lacing into your hair as his lips meet yours. The kiss is slow and you can tell he’s teasing you. You bring his bottom lip between your teeth, earning a low growl from him.

He pulls back and he starts to suck and kiss his way down your neck. You can’t help the moans that leave your lips. Each kiss he left felt like a tiny jolt of electricity. His fingers brush the spot on your thigh just below your (his) t-shirt. He slides the t-shirt up until he can see the top of your panties. His tongue runs along his lower lip and his eyes get heavy. You buck your hips up against his hand, you need him to touch you. You feel his chest as he laughs at your impatience.

“So needy,” He looks back at you, with a smirk playing on his lip, “What do you want, baby? Use your words.” He encouraged before kissing your lips softly.

“Please touch me.” He smiles as his hand ducks under the hem of your panties.

His middle finger presses against your clit with a feather light touch, making you want to scream already. He nudges your head with his nose so he can have full access to your neck. His fingers starts to circle softly around your clit before slowly running through your wetness. You know you’re wet, honestly you don’t think you’ve ever been this wet in your life. Jungkook groans as one of his fingers slides inside you.

“So fucking wet for me princess.”

You have to cover your mouth when he switches from one finger to two. His thumb dancing on your clit as he slides in and out of you. You sit up on your elbows watching him, turning every few seconds to bite at his jaw bone.

“Feels so good,” You moan into ear, he adds another finger.

You throw your head back, your back arching off of the mattress as he hits all the right spots. You’re body is hot and it feels like a coil inside of you is about to snap, you don’t stop the moan that falls from your lips.

“Come on pretty girl, cum for me.” He begs and you do, you nearly scream as you come apart on his fingers. He slows down and lets you ride out your high. He brings his fingers to his mouth to clean them, and the sight alone makes you wet all over again. You bite your lip when you realize he’s rock hard beneath his lose basketball shorts. You start to reach out for it but he laces his fingers with yours instead. You look up at him with the saddest face, full pout and scrunched up eyebrows, like someone just told you your dog died. He tries not to but he has to chuckle.

“I want you in my mouth.” You whine.

He laughs as he lays on his back, pulling you to his chest to cuddle. You look up at him with wide eyes.

“Why won’t you let me? You don’t want me to?”

His eyes get big and he takes your cheeks in between his hands, “Of course I want those pretty lips wrapped around my cock,” he coos with a kiss to your nose, “but I want you to be sober before we do anything else.”

You know that you’re not nearly as drunk as he thinks you are, but still it’s refreshing to have a man consider your mental space before his own sexual needs. Again, something you had never experienced.

You lay your head down on his chest, and his fingers work their way through your hair. Gently massaging your scalp. You couldn’t understand why everything he did made your body react in a way that was unknown. Maybe because you had never been with someone where there was actually chemistry. You feel his finger under your chin, as your head is pulled up to look at him. He cups your cheek, lightly brushing your cheekbone with his thumb. If you didn’t know any better, you would think that he loved you. That’s how he looked at you. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the post orgasmic bliss, but that’s what you felt. You swear he feels it too.

He swallows hard before pressing a soft kiss to your lips, “You’re the most beautiful thing, I’ve ever seen in my life.” He whispers with adoring eyes. You instantly look away, feeling the tears starting to form in your eyes. He wipes one away as it falls down your cheek.

“What’s wrong? I shouldn’t have said that?” He questions himself and you shake your head quickly. He was wrong, so wrong.

“No, I just…” you inhale trying to decide how to word what you were feeling, “I don’t think anyone’s ever talked to me like that.”

He nods, and you see anger cross his features for a moment and then leans back, his hand running up and down your spine. You lay your head back on his chest, letting the sound of his heartbeat lure you into a deep sleep. “He’s a piece of shit for not realizing how incredible you are, I hope you know that.” He whispers.

You let out a quiet sigh in agreement, falling asleep a few moments later.

A/n: Please dont forget to let me know your thoughts!! Also let me know if you want to be on the taglist! <3

#bts #bts smut #bts fluff #bts imagine #jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook smut #jungkook imagine #jungkook fluff #jeongguk #jeongguk imagine #dive #dive imagine #belovedbangtan #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x reader

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secondhand-trash · 5 years ago

Text

Merry Christmas, Kiss My Ass

Ficmas day 2 aka 5 days till Christmas owo

A/N: This is the best christmas song and I don’t accept criticism.

Description: You hated Christmas, much thanks to your ex who broke up with you right in the middle of the festive season. The last thing you wanted was to see him in a Christmas party again after so long.

Pairing: Kirishima Eijirou x reader

Warning: alcohol

Word count: 4108

Tumblr doesn’t like links but I’m gonna force you to listen to it, because what do you mean you had never heard of THE emo christmas song?

It was the festive season and everywhere you passed by was filled with holiday cheer. Tinsel and fairy lights hanging on the street lamps filled the entire avenue, the sparkling lights reflecting onto the thin layer of snow on the ground to emit an almost angelic glow. Each window of the shops were decorated with the most extravagant displays for this special time of the year. Even the people who walked past looked so happy, chattering excitedly and in awe of all the decorations with the laughter of children ringing in your ears like silver bells. Everything was so festive and joyous.

You absolutely hated every part of it.

The decorations were tacky, the shops marked up their prices this time of year to lure people into paying more just because it was the holidays, all these people looking so damn upbeat for no reason other than the approach of a heavily commercialized festival infuriated you to no end. You wished that everything would just disappear in front of your eyes and give you some peace.

Bringing a hand to rub at your temple, you groaned at how much like an edgy teenager who wanted to spite people for the sake of looking cynical you sounded like.

There was a time when you loved Christmas and at heart, you still did. But you could not take a look at all things festive without it recalling the painful memories that you tried so hard to suppress.

Everything reminded you of him, and you would rather be numb than admit that it still hurt you to this day.

You looked around you and sighed, the puff of hot air turning into white mist from the cold. It was snowing and the colourful lights lit up the entire avenue. It was a beautiful night, it really was.

He kissed you for the first time on a night like this.

You nearly screamed when you got Kirishima’s message asking if you’d like to hang out during winter break. Even if it was just a blind hope on your part, you would rather believe that it was his way of showing you that he was interested than thinking that your crush on your sweet classmate wasn’t as unrequited as you thought.

There was this long period of awkwardness between the two of you. Everyone could tell that something was going on between the two of you but neither of you made a move to actually make it a thing. It was ambiguous, the line between friendship and romance was so blurred that you were certain that you two were probably everything but just friends. Yet he never made a move, until now.

There was something so youthfully innocent about the whole thing. Two person, walking side by side on the main road, so aware of each other’s presence but neither dare close the small gap between their bodies with only the occasional brush of a hand hinting at the longing to hold onto the one beside them.

It was cute, the way he glanced at your way when he thought you weren’t looking only to quickly look away and change the topic when you turned your head his way.

The streets were illuminated by the intricate lights bended into different patterns, all the people on the streets rushing to get back to somewhere warm but you were trying to drag the way home just a bit longer, treasuring each second you get to spend with Kiri. He insisted on walking you home, saying that it was the manly thing to do. You wanted to say that he didn’t have to but you didn’t have the heart to say no to his beaming face.

As you turned into the corner of your neighborhood, you dreaded how empty your laughter sounded echoing off the dim streets. If only the short walk from the corner of the streets to the front of your house could be a little longer.

“I guess this is where I drop you off.”

With a small nod of your head, you tried your best to maintain the smile on your face. It was a fun day, but somehow you wished that you had been braver and make a move that confirms your feelings. “Thanks.” You said, “I had a lot of fun.”

“Yeah, me too.” He said and scratched the back of his neck, a sheepish grin on his face as he looked everywhere but at you, “We should do this again.”

You beamed, “Totally.”

“Cool. I’ll see you at school?”

“Cool.”

Fidgeting with the sleeve of your jacket, you shifted your weight from foot to foot as silence filled that air. You didn’t want to say good bye, debating inside your head on what to say and what did you dare to do.

It felt so painfully awkward. When you looked at Kirishima once again, you found him staring at you with an incomprehensible expression. Unlike the several times you caught him glancing at you during the day, he did not look away even under you dumbfounded stare. You felt like he was burning a hole into you with the way he stared at you so intensely, like he was trying to have your image carved into his head.

The beating of your heart pounded through your ear drums when he took a step closer to you and his gaze trailed down from your eyes to the tip of your noes down your lips. You could barely feel your face under the cold but you were sure that you were burning up as his eyes flickered between yours and the true destination of his stare.

Was he thinking of... Was he?

Your mind went hay wired when you suddenly feel his lips crashed onto yours. Your hands instinctively went to the back of his neck as you pressed him even closer to you. The kiss was messy, a lot of teeth clashing with each other and you shivered at how freezing cold his lips were.

But it was exactly what you had been wanted to do for so long.

Abruptly pulling back, Kirishima’s eyes widened and almost panicked when he realised what he just did. “I’m so sorry! Did you-”

He was cut short as you grabbed a fist full of his shirt and pulled him down to your level, shushing him with an equally forceful kiss. You smiled as you felt him kissing you back, his lips growing warm from the contact.

That was years ago and you could never go out on a winter night without remembering the spark you felt when the boy you loved kissed you for the first time, sending a rush of warmth down your chest.

The corner of your lips that were threatening to lift up froze, curling into a stiff purse as another distinctive memory popped up inside your mind, washing away the sweet nostalgia and replaced it with a burning annoyance.

How convenient that he also broke up with you on a chilly night just like this one.

The audacity of him to dump you right before Christmas. He looked so apologetic when he told you that he didn’t think he could handle balancing a relationship with his work, saying that he wanted to focus on his career right after graduation.

“You deserve someone who will have time for you and put you before everything else.”

That’s what he said to you in the empty street. He sounded so considerate even when he was trying to break things off with you, so considerate that you didn’t feel justified to be mad at him when you wanted nothing more than to throw cry and scream at him. But you couldn’t, and that hurt you on a whole other level.

You spent the entire holiday season acting more like a fragment of what’s left of you than yourself. No matter how many gatherings or parties you went to, you couldn’t find something that would fill up the void in your chest after a large chunk of your heart was taken out. You were so used to having someone to give all your love to that you didn’t know what to do with it once he was gone. Everyone around you had someone to be with and it made you hyperaware of just how lonely you felt. It was miserable, being constantly reminded of how happy other people and the cheerful atmosphere that was shoved in your face nearly suffocated you.

You had loathed all things Christmas since then.

Quickening your steps, you pulled your scarf higher up to your face to shield it from the harsh wind and ignored everything around you as you nearly stomped through the streets regardless of how it made the cold even more unbearable.

If you just walk and act like you see nothing, maybe it wouldn’t get to you. It worked every time that shadow of red threatened to pop up in your mind.

The avenue seemed to be way longer than it usually was as you paced down the road that had stores with decorations and festive goods lined up on both sides. You put your attention on the ground in front of your every step, refusing to give in to even a bit of your surroundings.

But right when you were about to make a turn at the corner of the street, something in the shop window caught your eye that made you stopped in the middle of the road. The store itself was nothing special, just another tiny corner shop. It was the boxes of trinkets that were piled up outside that caught your eye and you knew you would regret it, but you couldn’t stop your curiosity from getting the best of you and looked into the displays to see if your guess was right.

Aha, they were still selling the same ornaments as they did before. You thought to yourself as you pulled out a tiny glass globe that was tied to a silk ribbon. Inside the glass were tiny pieces of crystals. Putting it up under the light, you were left breathless as the way it sparkled like crushed diamonds left you speechless.

What a pity to see that your taste had not changed at all from the last time you were here.

“I feel like we should really be heading back.” Your boyfriend said with a laugh as you dragged him to the nearest store. Amidst all the training and internships, it was rare for you to get some alone time with Eiji and you would be damned if you don’t make the most out of it.

“Oh, come on! It’s so festive everywhere, how can you resist?” you turned around without letting his hand go, smiling as you took a few steps backwards, “Just another one, then we go back to the dorms.”

Trying to put on your most convincing expression, you tucked on his hand as you pouted. He sighed, Eiji could never quite say no to you when you pull out the puppy dog eyes. “Anything for you, babe.” He chuckled at your child-like grin, “But if we get into trouble for not being back before curfew, just know that it’s your fault.”

Rolling your eyes, you said as you put a hand on the railing on the door, “Yeah, yeah, sure.”

Looking around, you were at awe by the many displays. The store was lit up by a warm light and the sweet smell of cinnamon filled the air. A large part of the shop was dedicated to vintage items that the owner got on his trips to many places all around the world and if you dig deep, you were sure to find some hidden treasure on the messy shelves. The tiny corner store did not have extravagant and over-the-top decorations like many other larger shops but something about the homely decor made you feel giddy inside.

You let out a small gasp when you saw the boxes of ornaments at the corner of the store. Eiji smiled, peering over your shoulder as you rummaged through the many knick knacks. Something about the way you get all excited over Christmas was just so god damn adorable to him.

A thin piece of gold ribbon caught your eye and you pulled it out. It was a finely crafted glass ornament with the middle hollowed out and filled with golden flakes. It was absolutely gorgeous and as you lifted it up to put it under the light, your breath was taken away by how the gold reflected onto the glass bulb.

You were too mesmerized by the ornament in your hand to notice that your boyfriend was staring at you the whole time. “Like it?”

You nodded but your face dropped when you read the numbers labeled on the small tag that was hanging on the ribbon. It was really pretty, but there were better things to spend that amount of money on than to spend it buying a piece of glass that would only be seen once a year.

Shaking your head, you put the ornament back with the other trinkets and held onto Eiji’s hand. “Let’s go, curfew is almost up.”

He didn’t say a word but he did notice the way your lips pursed together when you tried to smile. He took a quick glances towards the boxes at the corner of the store before following you out of it.

When you opened your present from your boyfriend on Christmas, you nearly smothered him to death when you tear the wrapping paper off to see a glass globe with gold flakes in it.

You threw away everything you could associate with Kirishima the night he broke up with you but as you took the glass ornament off of the tree and held it in your hand, you didn’t have the heart to throw it away. It was stored in a small box deep inside of your closet, hidden away with the ache in your heart that came whenever you thought of the man who used to bring you so much happiness.

Standing in front of the door, you could hear the music and laughter even from outside.

It made you sick.

If Mina hadn’t been texting you non-stop about how you have to come to this party that she spent so long organizing and practically fatigue bombed you into giving in, you would have never stepped out of your house and went through all that festive torture in the first place.

You really didn’t want to go in. You really, really didn’t.

But the door swung open before you even had the chance to turn around and chicken out. You felt an instant sense of dread when the sounds from inside got louder once the door was opened to reveal your pink haired friend.

“(y/n)! You came!” Mina squealed and gave you a bone crashing hug. The dread was still there but you couldn’t help but smile a little upon seeing your old friend and hugged her back. You might be a Grinch, but you were not an asshole. If you decided to do so much as show up, the least you could do was to act like a good guest despite the growing nerves inside of you.

The first thing you did when Mina led you into the house was heading straight to the punch table. You needed alcohol in your system in order to make it through the night without the urge to escape every 5 minutes. The burning sensation of the vodka sliding down your throat gave you just the kick you needed to get out there and socialise with all the people who looked like they might actually wanted to enjoy the holidays.

Everything was going surprisingly fine and you slowly started being glad that you ended up coming to the party. It was nice to see so many old faces and to listen to everyone’s stories after you parted to enter the professional world. At some point, perhaps it was the vodka kicking in, you even managed to laugh genuinely without a hint of remembrance of all the bad memories you associated with Christmas.

That’s when the doorbell rang, and you almost froze in place when you saw the fiery pop of red that entered the house.

He looked good, just like he used to be. His signature grin was still the same, only with more of an edge that made him look just a little less boyish and manlier.

He looked really good and your brain could not handle the fact that it was the first thing that went through your mind when you saw your ex-boyfriend for the first time since he broke up with you right before Christmas a few years back.

All the pain and loneliness rushed right back up to your head. Suddenly, the chatter and music that you were just starting to enjoy became irritating. Your friends noticed your sudden change of demeanor, Tsuyu even offered to make up an excuse for you to leave early. Despite what you truly wanted, you refused, not wanting to rain on everyone else’s fun when it was an issue so personal to you.

Excusing yourself from your group of friends, a few curses escaped under your breath as you paced towards the other room with the drinks in it. Of course he would be here, why wouldn’t he? You should have expected that when Mina said that the party was meant to act as a gathering between old schoolmates.

Picking up whatever you could find, you took a huge gulp from the red plastic cup. Letting out a sigh when the cooling drink calmed you down, you finished the rest of it until the cup was completely empty.

Ok, what now? You could always pretend that he wasn’t there at all and go on with your small talk but you knew that your mind would not stop circling to that person you did not want to think of. It was impossible to hide from him the whole night, you two shared the same group of classmates after all and he was bounded to join the conversation somehow. Perhaps you should take the offer and say that you had a bad stomach ache?

“(y/n)?”

You jumped at the voice that called out for you. That voice, you could recognize that voice where ever you were and the last thing you wanted to do was turn around to face your ex.

“Hey.”

When you finally looked at him, the pounding of your heart in your ear nearly gave you a headache. It took every last fiber in your body to even manage a presentable expression on your face when you looked straight into those eyes.

“Hey.” You managed to utter out a simple word as your hand clutched onto the empty plastic cup. Even after so long, one look into his eyes could still make your mind race.

“It’s been a while.” Kirishima said, seeming to be just as uncomfortable as you were as he put on a weak smile, “You look nice.”

“Thanks,” you tried to smile back at him, “you too.”

You hated how you couldn’t even think of something to say when he was in front of you. It reminded you of the days when you would spent so long thinking of how to reply to each of his texts and how to act in front of him, the resemblance was not making it any easier for you.

“So... What are you up to?” He said, trying to break the awkward silence.

“Oh, you know, just pro-hero stuff.” You said as an attempt to make it sound nothing less than a casual conversation, “you?”

“Pretty much the same thing.” He replied and you managed to force out a chuckle.

“Like you aren’t ranks ahead of me.”

“The ranking means nothing.” He grinned, showing the sharp tips of his teeth. “Besides, you got much higher ratings from the administrators than I do.”

You snorted, finally feeling a bit more human than a stiff auto-response. “Yeah, sure.”

You didn’t talk to Kirishima directly again for the rest of the night but you didn’t mind being in the same space as him anymore. There were even times when you were both in the same conversation and you could laugh at something he said. You caught him looking at you several times and he quickly looked away before your gazes would barely even met.

Everytime you felt his eyes on you, you felt the familiar fluster in your stomach that you thought had long died down and some part of you knew that if he wasn’t the same person who made you hate Christmas, you would have been eying him the same way.

“I think I should go.” A chorus of groans and pleas filled the room when you announced your departure. By the late night and after several more cups of liquor down your throat, you had begun to truly enjoy yourself. You almost frowned when you looked at your phone to see that it was about time you left the party. “I wish I could stay too, but I have work tomorrow.”

You hugged everyone at the door and promised to keep in touch before leaving the bright living room into the dark pavement. When you were about to walk away, you heard the door cracked open and someone called after you.

“(y/n)!”

You looked back to see Kirishima from the door and you stopped. He quickly ran to where you were and breathed heavily when he stood in front of you. He looked like he had something that he wanted to say but nothing came out as he did nothing but stare at you. You did not even know that you were holding your breath in until his gaze started travelling downwards and his eyes flicked between yours and the ground.

Just like that night when he kissed you in front of your house, meaning that it was also like that night he said he wanted to break things off with you.

The beating of your heart quickened as each second pass by. You were nervous under his stare and you wondered if you could break up with someone that you had already broken up with because you were starting to think that it might be a possibility as well.

He opened his mouth like he wanted to say something and you immediately tensed up. But as if he swallowed his own words, Kirishima pursed his lips together.

Your mind went blank when he opened his mouth once again to speak in a tone that sounded like he wanted to confess something. Only it wasn’t a confession, and the two words still rang inside your head as you walked on the streets alone.

“Merry Christmas.”

You reached for your phone to click off the alarm and nearly threw your phone to the other end of the room when you picked it up to see a message from an unknown number that started with “Hey. This is Kirishima.”

Should you read it? Should you even tap into it? What if you read it but don’t know what to say?

Swallowing your last nerve, you clicked onto the small notification.

Hey. This is Kirishima. I got your number from Mina, hope that you won’t mind me texting you all of a sudden.

I wanted to say this to you last night but I panicked when I was alone with you and didn’t manage to say it. Pretty unmanly of me, huh?

I guess what I wanted to say is that seeing you again made me realise that I missed what we had. I didn’t do the right thing breaking things off with you the way I did and I wish that we can start over again.

I completely understand if you had already moved on and want nothing to do with me but I mean what I say. Can we start with being friends again? Again, I completely understand if you don’t feel the same way and I’m sorry if this made you uncomfortable.

You stared at the screen, still trying to process what you just read. You would love to believe that you had moved on and just delete the message like nothing happened but you would be lying if you say that there wasn’t a tiny bit of you that missed him as well.

Sucking in a deep breath, you could only wish that you had made the right decision as you started typing your reply.

#bnha imagines #kirishima x reader #kirishima eijiro #kirishima imagine #bnha x reader

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pocket-luv101 · 4 years ago

Text

Happiness || Chapter 11

Fandom: Servamp Characters: Mahiru, Kuro, Licht, Hyde Pairings: KuroMahi (main), LawLicht (side)

Summary: Mahiru found a baby in front of his orphanage and he thought that it belonged to Kuro. But the infant could be the key to finding his lost mother. {Historical Romance// Family AU}

Ch.1 || Ch.2 || Ch.3 || Ch.4 || Ch.5 || Ch.6 || Ch.7 || Ch.8 || Ch.9 || Ch.10 || (Ch.11) ||

“Wah!” Machi cried in Mahiru’s arms. He did his best to comfort and sooth her but he couldn’t concentrate on her and steering the horse at the same time. He held Machi’s swaddle against his chest with one arm and pulled on the reins with his other hand. Occasionally, he looked over his shoulder to see if the man was still following them. Tetsu’s description of the man matched the person who tried to adopt Machi so he must be after her. He asked Tetsu to borrow a horse, which would allow him to evade the man.

He intended to take Machi to his home to hide her but he found himself riding to Kuro instead. He stopped the horse in front of Misono’s inn and took a moment to calm Machi. The horse’s quick pace was the reason she was so upset but she continued to cry even after they stopped. Mahiru tenderly patted her back and reassured her that she was safe. “It’s okay, Machi. I’m sorry that I scared you with the horse but there was someone dangerous following us. We’re safe now, though. Let’s get you inside where it’s warm.”

Mahiru held Machi securely as he dismounted and then handed the horse to a worker. He adjusted the swaddle around her to keep her warm and used the edge of the blanket to wipe her tears. He walked past a large window and his attention was pulled away from Machi. The window held the portrait of a world overwhelmed by ballgowns, elegance and riches. Among the nobles was Kuro. He placed his hand on the cold glass and watched him speak with a highborn woman.

He was reminded of the two worlds they lived in. His heart tightened painfully when he saw Kuro with someone else. Mahiru didn’t know why he ended their relationship and he couldn’t help but wonder if he was currently looking at the reason. He bit his lip and stepped away from the window. During the ride to Misono’s inn, he was scared the man would take Machi and he ran to Kuro. He knew he would be safe with him. On the other hand, he could only be burdening Kuro.

“Mahiru?” He turned away when he heard someone call his name. Misono walked out of the inn and approached him with a worried expression. “Did something happen? DoDo said you suddenly arrived on a horse.”

“Someone was following me in town and I was worried he would discover where we lived. Can we stay the night?” He explained and Misono nodded.

Kuro walked through the crowd and listened for any whispers of his mother. He didn’t enjoy high class parties and the façade everyone had. While he was surrounded by people, he felt lonely and lost among the ton. He pictured Mahiru’s honest smile and he wondered if he was putting Machi to bed. He wanted to return home to them. He reminded himself that he needed to find information about his mother and how she was connected to Machi’s sudden appearance.

As the oldest son, he was raised to uphold his family’s name but he never enjoyed the games high society played among each other. He could still remember his father’s lectures about how he needed to find a proper match and maintain their family’s image. Kuro escaped to their country house after his death so he hadn’t attended a formal party in years. He wasn’t as talented with words as Mahiru or Hyde either.

Kuro would do his best though. He knew any news of his mother’s fate would give closures to his siblings and end the scandal that had followed them. As he scanned the room, he thought of how he could bring up the topic of his mother’s disappearance. He hoped that someone would approach him to say their condolences about his mother.

A few mothers approached him and, each time, it was clear they only wanted to secure a match for their daughters. He took a glass of wine from a passing waiter yet he didn’t drink it. Mahiru would be upset if he came home drunk when he promised to search for information about his mother. Kuro set down the drink and sighed to himself. “You need to stop thinking of Mahiru. You left him for his own good.”

The time they spent together brought back his feelings for Mahiru that he thought he could hold back. He leaned against the wall and scanned the faceless crowd and eavesdropped on their conversations. After the scene Hyde and Licht caused, most of them were discussing their short fight. “Those Servamps have one scandal after another. Their mother ran away. It’s likely because the father had a temper like Hyde.”

“My brother is awkward when it comes to romance but he isn’t violent.” Kuro spoke over the rumours to defend his brother. They quickly fell silent. A part of him knew that they only stopped due to the power of his family’s status rather than any consideration for their feelings. “You claim that my mother ran away. The police haven’t told us that and I doubt they’ll tell others about the investigation. Where did you hear those rumours?”

“Excuse me, Brother.” Lily approached them. He leaned closer to him and whispered into his ear. “I’ll speak with them and find out if they know anything about our mother. Something happened with Mahiru and you should go to him. He’s in Misono’s office right now.”

“Thanks, Lily.” He nodded to his brother and stepped away from the group. Kuro didn’t show his reaction to Lily’s words in his expression but worry started to twist his stomach. He didn’t tell him why Mahiru came to the inn and he couldn’t only assume something happened to Machi. Earlier, he said that he didn’t want to attend the party because the crowd would make Machi uncomfortable.

He ignored the people he passed as he walked to Misono’s office. He prayed that the two weren’t hurt. The thought that something happened to Mahiru while he was at a party laid heavy on him. He agreed that he should stay home with Machi since he thought he would be safer there. Kuro forced the thought from his mind and reassured himself that Mahiru was strong and he could protect himself.

He didn’t knock before he opened the office door and he immediately saw Mahiru sitting across from Misono. Machi was crying but neither of them appeared to be hurt. He let out a breath of relief and he realized that he had been holding his breath the entire time. Kuro walked towards them and Machi was the first to turn towards him. She held out her arms to him and cried louder.

“Lily told me that something happened. Are you two okay?” Kuro asked as he knelt in front of them. He gently wiped away her tears but more fell. He couldn’t recall the last time he had seen her cry so much and his brows furrowed. “This isn’t her ‘I want food’ cry or her ‘I’m tired’ cry.”

Machi leaned forward and Mahiru let her go so she fell into Kuro’s arms. He held her against his shoulder and stroked her hair comfortingly. She continued to cry and he did his best to soothe her by bouncing her in his arms. Mahiru joined their circle and placed his hand on her back. Together, they hummed to her until she closed her eyes and fell asleep against Kuro’s warmth.

“The night had been stressful for her.” Mahiru said in a whisper so he wouldn’t wake Machi. When he moved his hands, Kuro noticed that his fingers were red from the cold. He gently took his hand and breathed onto his fingertips to warm them. He wondered what happened. He must’ve noticed the worry in his red eyes and explained: “I went into town and someone started to follow us.”

“What?” His hands became stiff around Mahiru’s.

“I don’t know when he started to follow me but Tetsu said he saw the man trail me for a few blocks. He matched the description of the man who tried to adopt Machi too.” Unconsciously, Mahiru held Machi closer in a protective gesture. “I didn’t want him to know where we live. I borrowed Tetsu’s horse and came here. The horse was very fast and it frightened Machi.”

“Mahiru and I were discussing what we should do if he does come to my hotel.” Misono said. “I already instructed my staff to prepare the room next to my office. If anything does happen to Mahiru and Machi, I’ll hear it. I also told my staff the description of the man who was following Mahiru.”

“The man was walking so he couldn’t have followed me while I was on a horse. It’s unlikely he knows I’m here but we want to be cautious.” Mahiru added to reassure Kuro. He could see the worry in his expression and he wanted to kiss the little furrows between his brows to relax him. He stopped himself and, instead, said: “We have everything prepared. You can return to the party, Kuro.”

“I don’t think Machi will let me.” Kuro gently poked her tiny fist that gripped his shirt. “The party is almost over and I doubt the ton would miss me. Lily can handle the closing announcement for me. I’ll help you put Machi to bed. I’m tired so I’ll stay the night at the hotel as well.”

Mahiru knew that Kuro offered to stay to comfort him and he appreciated his thoughtfulness. Kuro’s love was always reflected in his actions more than words. His face relaxed into a smile and thanked him softly. He wondered how Kuro would react if he told him that he came to the hotel because he knew that he was there. Kuro’s side was the place he knew he would be safest.

When he stopped outside the hotel and saw the lavish ball inside, he was reminded of Kuro’s title. He would only cause an uproar if he ran to a duke with a baby in his arms. So, he turned away from the party and went to speak with his friend.

“It’s lucky that they had a spare crib for Machi.” Mahiru said as he arranged the blankets over the bed. They settled into the guest room that the staff had prepared for them. Kuro carefully lowered Machi into the crib and tickled her hand to make her let go of his shirt. As Mahiru watched him, he thought of how Kuro would make a good father. He stood next to him and smiled down at their baby. “She’s fast asleep.”

“After that party, I want to sleep for ten hours as well. I wasn’t able to discover much either. Can’t deal.” Kuro stepped away and loosened his dress tie. He groaned slightly when the knot tightened. “Suits are troublesome and uncomfortable.”

“You should ask Lily if he has spare clothes that you can borrow.” Mahiru stood in front of him and lightly pushed his hands aside. He undid his frilly necktie. No matter if Kuro wore an elegant suit or a simple shirt, Mahiru thought he was handsome. “I hope you don’t need me to help you with the buttons on your jacket too. I’m not your mother.”

“Housewife then?” He flirted back without thinking. With the soft candlelight around them, he slipped back to the time they were together. They both blushed and Kuro stepped back from him. He turned away from Mahiru and shrugged off his jacket. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I’ll check on the maid to see if they have extra blankets. I’ll sleep on the floor.”

“Kuro, you don’t need to. I’m grateful that you want to stay to protect me and Machi but I can’t let you sleep on the ground. Even if you had a blanket, it’ll be cold during the winter.” Mahiru glanced at the single bed in the room and his heart quickened slightly. He stood in front of Kuro again and hoped he couldn’t hear how his heartbeat was stuttering. “We can share the bed if you don’t mind.”

Mahiru kept his gaze on the ground so he didn’t see the expression he made in reaction. He heard the small gasp Kuro made though. He waited for his answer with the hope that he hadn’t overstepped. Being with Kuro was still painful after their break up but he would feel guilty if he slept on the ground. He quickly made another suggestion. “Maybe we should have the maid prepare another room for you.”

“It’s dangerous to leave you and Machi alone after someone stalked you through town. I want to stay here with you in case anything happens. Knowing you, you would focus on protecting Machi if someone breaks in and you can get hurt.” Kuro said and sat on the bed. He also knew how stubborn Mahiru was and he didn’t want to argue with him after the stressful day he must’ve had. “I’ll take the left side.”

Mahiru blew out the candles and left only one burning on the table. He slipped under the covers and rolled away from Kuro as he prepared for bed. While he was facing away from him, Kuro’s body heat told him when he laid on the bed next to him. Kuro hadn’t told him directly but Mahiru knew that he chose the left side since it was closest to the door and he would be able to protect them.

“Goodnight, Kuro.”

“Sweet dreams.” He whispered back.

“So, this is where you’ve been hiding. We had to clean up the ball without you, Shit Rat.” Licht said when he found Hyde alone in the stable. He wanted to have a quiet moment where he could think over everything he heard during the party. Hyde didn’t know how Licht managed to find him since he was careful not to light the lantern so others would think the stable was empty.

“We pay people well to set up the party and clean up afterwards. You didn’t need to help clean since you don’t work at the inn.” Hyde pointed out. The stable but dark but he could see his blue eyes clearly. Despite his hard stare, he knew Licht was a good person and likely helped the workers to be considerate. “It’s late and the cabs retired for the night already. I can walk you home. Do you want a smoke?”

As Hyde rummaged through his pocket for a cigarette, Licht took the one that he was smoking. He flicked the cigar onto the ground and stomped it out. “We can’t go back to the orphanage smelling like nicotine. Smoking is unhealthy and I don’t want the kids to pick up the habit. Mr. Horse wouldn’t want to have smoke in their home either.”

“Won’t you show any kindness to a demon when he had a stressful night?” Hyde pouted at him.

“Hot chocolate is better at relaxing people than smoking. I’ve never smoked before but my mother assured me that it’s true. I’ll make you a cup when we return to the orphanage.” His offer surprised Hyde slightly. They didn’t leave immediately and Licht leaned against the wall next to him. “I also came to find you because I have to thank you. During the dance, I kicked you and—”

“You don’t need to thank me, Lichtan. I’ll get the wrong idea if you’re suddenly nice to me.” Hyde smirked down at him. “You handled their scrutiny better than I expected. You held your head high and didn’t let them break you down. It took me years to block out their words. Then again, you’re an angel and I doubt you’ve ever felt insecure in yourself.”

Licht fell silent when Hyde thought he would have agreed that he was an angel. He touched the white strands in his dark hair and said, “My parents were famous musicians. I once had a dream to be a famous pianist and I had a few recitals. My parents were always too busy to attend. I always wanted them to hear me play on a big stage but then night it happened… I got so nervous that my hair became white. It returned to normal afterwards. My mother reassured me that even angels feel scared.”

He didn’t know why he told Hyde the story. Licht glanced at him in the corner of his eyes and twirled his white hair around his finger. He changed the topic before Hyde could make a comment. “We should hurry back to the orphanage.”

“Wait, someone’s coming.” Hyde took his hand and pulled him into a horse stall. Licht started to question why but then he covered his mouth with his hands. He was confused until he heard the stable doors open. Two set of footsteps entered the stable and passed the stall they hid in. Licht assumed that they was a hotel guest.

Then, one of the men asked: “Have you found more information about the baby that the Servamp adopted?”

#servamp #kuromahi #lawlicht #sloth pair #greed pair #servamp kuro #mahiru shirota #servamp hyde #licht jekylland todoroki #fanfiction

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starlightinhumanform · 5 years ago

Text

The Art of Love: Chapter 13

Fandom: She Ra (2018)

Ship: Glimadora

Summary: Glimmer finally answers Adora’s text and gets to spend some quality Mom-Daughter time with Angella because they deserve it 😤

Warnings (for this chapter): Some descriptions of anxious thoughts (please tell me if anything needs to be added)

Genre: High School AU, Angst with a Happy Ending, Rivals/Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Fluff

A/N: Updates have really slowed down on this fic simply due to the current conditions of the world but I’m very excited for the future of this fic and I appreciate your continued support through all the ups and downs 🖤🖤 Love you all 🖤✨

Ao3 The Art of Love Masterpost Fic Masterpost Fic Request Info

Hey I was wondering how you were? Lmao I sound like a grandma but really. You seemed kinda out of it today and I wanted to make sure you were doing alright (it’s probably cuz I kept you up working on the dumb project all night lol) so yeah just wanted to check in cuz we didn’t really get to talk today :)

The first thing that struck Glimmer about the text was the fact that Adora had written her an entire paragraph. The second thing that hit her was that the entire said paragraph was all basically to ask how she was. It was silly and overly concerned and so very Adora. Nobody else would do something so sweet and manage to make it so ridiculous at that same time.

A wave of relief washed over Glimmer. So Adora wasn’t asking about Elizabeth and hadn’t mentioned anything about Glimmer’s crush. Glimmer could remain safe in her little bubble as long as Adora stayed within her own lines of ignorance. That would only last so long, however. For all she knew, that bubble had already popped.

Glimmer realized with a start that it was quite possible that Adora was simply leading up to that point, too polite to confront her right off the bat. Just wanted to check in... we didn’t really get to talk today.

Either Adora actually was just asking her what was up, or she wanted to “talk” to her. Glimmer wasn’t sure which option was more terrifying. Given how their past conversations had gone, Glimmer had absolutely no confidence in her ability to talk to anyone, let alone to someone she was crushing on- let alone to Adora.

She chewed her lip for a second, unsure of what to do. If Adora was still clueless and she started confessing to something Adora was completely unaware of, it would be worse than Elizabeth confessing it for her.

She thought of Adora, chilling at home, probably working away on some assignment like the nerd that she was. Glimmer started giggling at the idea of Adora pausing for a moment because she got a text and it was just Glimmer screaming: YES I HAVE A MAJOR CRUSH ON YOU EVERYTHING ELIZABETH SAID WAS TRUE ALSO WOULD YOU LIKE TO RUN AWAY WITH ME AND START A SHEEP FARM IN THE NETHERLANDS???

Yeah, ok so that option was not going to happen. She should probably just play it cool, like a normal person texting their normal friend. Her brain felt the need to interject: Yeah right- “normal person,“ that’s you. The little voice continued: “Normal friend”- that’s a funny way to put it.

Suddenly another wave hit Glimmer, and this one felt like an entire brick wall crumbing on top of her. Except it was good. It felt soft and warm and made Glimmer feel like maybe, just maybe, things would be ok. The sensation spread up from her toes and erupted in her chest until it reached the very tips of her fingers. It made her stretch her legs out and reach backwards with her arms until they were fully extended because it filled her heart up so much, she couldn’t contain it all in her small form.

Because even if Glimmer wasn’t as close to Adora as she wanted, they were friends. At least, that’s where things were hopefully pointing to. Was it perfect? No. Was it everything Glimmer wanted and more? Obviously not. But was it good? God, yes. It was something Glimmer had never thought was possible; it was something she had been actively trying not to pursue out of the conviction that it would all go wrong and she would get hurt. But this didn’t hurt. Not in the slightest.

Riding on the euphoria, she typed out a quick response:

I’m good. And yeah sorry I was pretty tired today lol Weaver has destroyed my sleep schedule. Also you sound like you ACTUALLY want me to talk to you?? How absolutely scandalous???

Glimmer let her feet swing back and forth, heels kicking against the side of her mattress. Tiny little bubbles of hope kept rising up towards her head because this was almost- very, nearly maybe- a step forward. A step towards being a little more than friends with Adora. Ha, this isn’t a step towards anything. You’re not going to get anywhere with her. Getting this high off the ground just means it’ll hurt more when this cloud dissolves under your feet. Because that’s exactly what this is- you’re letting yourself rely on cotton candy daydreams and sooner or later they’re going to dissolve beneath you.

Glimmer shook the negative thoughts off and switched conversations to scroll through the memes Bow had sent her. They were undoubtedly funny but she hardly registered the images; she had other things to be happy about.

Bow was probably going to annoy her about this later but Glimmer couldn’t resist the urge to gush:

BOW BOW BOW

SHE’S TEXTING ME

LIKE A FRIEND

ASKING ME HOW I AM

OOO???

Glimmer grinned at Bow’s quick response but she knew the real reason she was smiling.

I knoooooooow. I so happy

So you still think she hates you?

Her grin faltered for a moment before returning, slightly weaker than it had been before.

BLEH why’d you have to bring that upppppp

And I don’t know? Maybe she doesn’t hate me but she doesn’t have any reason NOT to

Glimmer i love you but you can be SO DENSE sometimes

She DOES have a reason not to hate you?? Maybe it’s possible that she thinks you’re smart and funny and talented? I don’t know tho- I’m just throwing stuff out here. Also she might actually LIKE you maybe as a friend,,, maybe more ;)

Glimmer snorted at Bow’s ranting. He was sweet and a far better friend than she could ever rationalize deserving. But he was high off his own optimistic ideals.

There is definitely nothing “more” I don’t even think we’re officially friends yet. More like uuuuhh acquaintances with benefits

OHOHO???

Glimmer immediately regretted her word choice, laughing as she buried her face in her hands.

NOT LIKE THAT. PERVERT.

She waited for Bow’s answer, laughing quietly at their ridiculous conversation. As the little dots marched to indicate Bow’s typing, a buzz and flag altered Glimmer that Adora had responded.

She texted back gotta go

Switching once more to her and Adora’s conversation, the first thing Glimmer found herself marveling at was her own stupidity. The giddy feeling that had been all-consuming now faded away as she reread her message. It sounded clingy and overly confident. It definitely felt worthy of the cringe the shuddered through her body and made her want to curl up in a ball. What had her euphoric-high brain been trying to do? Flirt? If so, she had desperately failed.

Still in embarrassed pain, she moved on to Adora’s message:

How many times do I have to tell you YES I want to talk to you.

But there was something in particular I wanted to talk to you about

The second part made Glimmer’s blood run cold. Adora continued typing but she didn’t dare respond, too frozen to type. All the stars that had been floating in her eyes crashed around her. So she did know. So Glimmer’s worst fears were reality. And there was nothing she could do about it now. After an eternity, Adora’s message finally jumped onto Glimmer’s screen.

It’s about this morning. Well and today. And last night. Kinda. I just feel like I might have made you uncomfortable last night, like I was being really clingy so then this morning I felt really awkward and I’m sorry if I came off as cold or anything. And then in class you seemed all tense and I was just wondering if I had crossed some lines or anything?

Glimmer could have sworn she heard a record scratch in her head, nearly getting whiplash from reading Adora’s message. The situation kept switching so quickly; as soon as she got one foot on the rug, it would be pulled out from under her and she would look down and it turn out she had been standing on raft in the middle of the ocean the entire time.

She squinted to reread the message one more time and gave a breathy laugh when she had determined she had read it correctly the first time. Adora was the one that thought she had crossed lines? It was ridiculous. It seemed so unrealistic, Glimmer nearly slipped into her original thinking of Adora. If only she hadn’t been forced to see that nuclear core that made up that crazy blonde. That would have made everything so much easier. She could just brush the whole message as a ploy to gain sympathy. But know she had to know better. Now, she had to acknowledge that Adora was being completely sincere.

Glimmer had no idea how to respond. Adora was being completely open, completely vulnerable; and it was terrifying. It was almost worse than when she was wrapped up in doubt. It was the difference between not knowing why someone was ill and knowing exactly what was wrong- all while being expected to find the solution. Except Glimmer wasn’t a doctor. She had no cure for the situation.

She forced confidence, pushing away all her question just long enough to respond.

Are you going to make a habit of sending me essays?

She immediately regretted how cold she sounded and hurriedly began trying to remedy the conversation.

I’m sorry but really you’re fine. I didn’t mind you... if I came across as stiff or weird about anything it’s just because I’m not really used to people getting that close that quickly

It wasn’t a lie. It wasn’t the complete truth either, but it was close enough for now.

oh god I’m really sorry

What no?? I just said it was fine??

Still... that really sounds like I made you uncomfortable

Glimmer let out a sigh. She never thought she’d find herself trying to convince someone she was becoming increasingly infatuated with that it was ok to be close with her. It sounded strange when she thought about, but there was something endearing about how Adora barreled her way into Glimmer’s life and was now trying tiptoe out of the china shop.

I was a little surprised that’s all. You’re all good

Really? Even after I said I would kill weaver in class today?? You didn’t think that was weird??!

No lmao again I was a bit surprised but I mostly thought it was funny

You sure about that

Yep 100%

If you were in person right now you would hear me go hmmmmmmm

Glimmer snorted quietly out of her nose; Adora made her laugh at the stupidest things. She was entirely convinced that she would never be as funny as Adora, but she hoped she could bring her at least just a little bit of happiness.

Yeah well if you were in person right now you would see me roll my eyes and yell at you to stop being dumb

A shallow pain spread across Glimmer’s chest, a coat of lead paint over her heart; milky indigo weighing her down. If only Adora’s casual jokes were a reality. If only she were face to face with Adora. If only Adora’s face was inches from her own and quickly coming closer. Glimmer’s hands ached to run through Adora’s hair and her ears cried to hear Adora’s voice. She didn’t want to look anywhere if it wasn’t into the storm of Adora’s eyes. Her throat was hoarse from emotion but she would sing if it meant she could bear witness once more to the way Adora wove melodies out of the air.

Glimmer sat up as if startled from a dream. This- this, oh no. Oh shit. This has gone much too far. You should have stopped this before it even started. How did you even let this happen?

Glimmer had know Adora was beautiful since she saw her on the first day of school. Ignoring her and twisting her into some villain had made it a simple thing to deal with, but she couldn’t ignore the iceberg once her Titanic had begun sinking. And now she was officially sunk, water far above her head and no hope of survival to be seen.

There was a sliver of Glimmer- some crazy little fraction of her mind that had to scream to be heard- that just wanted to rip the band aid off. She wanted to stop giving all the power to other people. If someone was going to tell Adora that Glimmer had hopelessly fallen for her, it might as well come from the source.

She looked down at her phone, suddenly aware that Adora had responded.

Hey I gotta go I just wanted to check that we were ok! I’m glad you don’t mind me lmao

Glimmer took a deep breath, making an attempt to gather her thoughts. It was a hopeless effort, her mind fragmented across the room. Did Adora really worry that Glimmer “minded” her? Was there in way to describe the burning that struck in her chest whenever Adora gave her one of those soft grins- that dull ache that constricted her heart and seeped through her ribs. How could she ever reassure Adora she could never be bothersome when every one of her actions struck Glimmer with wonder? How could she even attempt to say such a thing with revealing everything, admitting her mind’s greatest fear? How could she try to convince Adora of something that she couldn’t even admit to herself.

Because the answer was quite simple. She loved Adora. Deeply and painfully. But no matter how perfect Adora was, it still felt dangerous to love her. To Glimmer, it was just as good as putting a target on her back. It was like saying HEY EVERYONE!! I’M ALREADY WEIRD AND SO SO DIFFERENT FROM YOU AND NOW I’M PUTTING THAT ON DISPLAY!

Glimmer was being pulled apart. She knew she shouldn’t show her affection to Adora. But she knew just as deeply and far more truly that she loved Adora- and keeping that inside of her would break her heart.

She threw or phone and thoughts (momentarily) aside, flopping backwards on her bed. Her body bounced slightly from the force of throwing herself down and it only added to the sensation that her head was floating away. There was just too much to tackle right now. Glimmer could tell from the growing pressure on her head that if she kept picking it all apart, the pressure would quickly shift; it would tighten around her lungs, making it hard to breathe and squeezing what she couldn’t force down to pour down her face.

Glimmer took a deep breath, through her nose and out her mouth- once, twice, three times, she lost count as she focused solely on the rhythm she was creating. These past few days had been chaotic and exhausting and good part of that had been created by her. She was tired. Her brain felt heavy as gravity retook control over her head. In fact, her whole body felt heavy; she was sinking deeper into her mattress with every exhale.

——————————————————————

When Glimmer woke up, the last hues of dusk just barely reached her window. It was obvious that the night had happily creeped onwards while she had slept. She must have been out for at least an hour.

Down the hall, she could hear voices of some TV show her mom was watching as they flickered out of the speakers.

Glimmer opened her door, peaking around the frame and looking down the hall. She could just see the top of her mother’s pastel hair above the top of the couch. In front of her, what looked like Hell’s Kitchen was playing. Glimmer was somewhat amazed that she had been able to sleep through Gordon Ramsey’s yelling.

She walked towards the living room and sat down next to Angella on the couch. She was asleep, hair mussed up in the back as she leaned up against the cushions. Glimmer felt a wave of affection wash over her. Whatever happened at school, whatever happened with Adora- hell, whatever happened within herself- she would always love her mother. Sometimes things got in the way of her remembering that.

Glimmer nudged her mom gently in the side, “Hey, wake up.”

Angella stirred, smiling as her gaze fell upon Glimmer, “Hey, dear.”

Glimmer squirmed under her mother’s softness, guilt over how she had acted earlier hitting her, “I’m really sorry. About how I treated you at dinner. I was really rude and nights like this are basically the only time we have together; I shouldn’t waste them being a brat to you.”

“You’re a teenager and we don’t exactly see eye to eye on everything- I expect this sort of thing to happen occasionally.”

“But I-“ Glimmer tried to argue but was cut off.

“But I appreciate you apologizing.”

“Mom!!” Glimmer felt like her mother should have been angrier, should have at least told her off for stomping down to her room as rudely as she had. And she had done it in response to her mom just trying her best to help. That must have hurt.

“Glimmer!!” Angella mirrored her daughter’s exasperation, “You really think I didn’t slam doors and yell and act out when I was your age? I don’t necessarily like it, but a little angsty rebellion is normal. Like I said, I expect some of this.”

“If you say so… just don’t expect to see it often,” Glimmer felt a smile tugging on the corners of her mouth. Her mom wasn’t exactly the most relaxed person but she understood Glimmer better than probably anybody else on the planet.

“Good,” Angella reached out and tucked one of Glimmer’s fluffy locks behind her ear, “I prefer when you talk to me instead of just hiding away in your room.”

“Yeah,” Glimmer laughed somewhat nervously because she totally didn’t do exactly that most of the time instead of talking to people.

“So… you want to tell me about that girl now?”

Glimmer tucked herself next to Angella’s side and turned to face the TV where Gordon Ramsey was berating a man for having rats in his kitchen, “No, not yet.”

She felt her mother shrug and smiled as Angella wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Drama could wait. And if she loved Adora? Well, she would deal with that later too.

Quick announcement that I am (FINALLY) starting a taglist for this fic, so if you are interested, please just send an ask or reply to this post <3

#glimadora #glimmadora #glimadora fluff #glimadora angst #glimadora high school au #she ra high school au #glimadora fic #glimadora fanfic #glimadora fanfiction #adora x glimmer #glimmer x adora #she ra #spop #spop high school au #spop adora #spop glimmer #she ra fanfic #spop fanfic #starlight writes

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gotmeringinghellsbells · 5 years ago

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Hullo! I was wondering if you could write a shiro x Curtis x Adam story where Curtis is struggling with his mental health and the abuse he faced in the past while trying to act as if he’s okay only to have Adam or shiro find out how bad he’s actually doing accidentally. Sorry if this is a bit of an angsty request I just thought you could make the ending cute. Have a lovely day!

Fandom: Voltron Legendary Defender

Characters: Adam, Curtis, and Takashi Shirogane

A/N: Hi, a month or more and eight-nine pages later I have finished! I honestly got too into this prompt, I hope you enjoy! I also didn’t get a chance to spell check so I apologize if there are any errors.

Description: After an encounter with an eight legged intruder, Curtis finds himself in a miserable situation. After some times, he opens up to his husbands of two years and explains his back story and why they’ve only seen his grandmother and sister.

He’d always been taught to be reserved, to shut his mouth and keep it shut. He was taught through fear and pain to be obedient, and to be independent. It wasn’t until the tender age of fourteen that he could get away, to study on a government base and become someone successful. But he was influenced and heavily, mentally damaged. His husbands never seemed to notice however, and that’s how Curtis Shirogane liked it.

Adam and Shiro had their own issues to deal with as it was. Between Shiro’s PTSD, Adam’s anxiety, and even beyond any disorders influenced by their time in space and apart from each other. To Curtis, bringing his issues to them felt like a burden; almost as if his problems were less important in comparison.

From this, he kept his feelings hidden, only showing them to his dog. Cuddles in the dark of the night, only being illuminated by cartoons on the large television screen; walks around town, stopping to relax in the park and stare at the clouds or stars, Spice truly was his best friend.

But…. Spice couldn’t always help him. Sometimes he needed the touch of another human, the attention, the love, and even the protection. The protection from what? From his thoughts. They’re intrusive and reminding, they haunt Curtis on a weekly basis…. Which lately had been becoming more daily.

The presence of an eight legged intruder certainly didn’t help their either.

Gray eyes were wide as sunkissed hands shook. Soft lips trembled, twitching ever so slightly as something tried to come out from the sealed, flesh doors; but nothing could. Curtis was frozen on the spot in fear, a mug of coffee in his hand. The words coming from a returning, jog sweaty Shiro reached his ears like muffled whispers as the world focused in on one thing and one thing only: spider.

His pulse was increased, anxiety kicking in as all his senses focused on one object only. ‘Your not in the cage, your in your home,’ a voice inside his head called. ‘Get a hold of yourself! The others will notice! You don’t want them to leave your childish ass, do you?’ But the youngest of the three could not move. Curtis stood stiff and silnet, the rest of the world fading out. “Curtis,” the muffled voice called out softly. Shiro had noticed the other’s noticed lack of response. It wasn’t like Curtis to space out on something unless he was extremely bored or feeling awkward, but he had just come down and given Shiro a kiss in exchange for coffee.

For him to space out now made no sense. It wasn’t until the coffee in the mug started to drip on the floor that the older became more alert; Curtis was shaking. The shorter rushed over, taking Curtis gently into a hug before studying his face. It wasn’t too cold i the house and Curtis was a healthy man, he had no medical issues. In Shiro’s panicked mind he was looking for anything to answer the question of what was going on. “Morning,” a new voice came from the doorway. The soothing, deep, groggy voice usually would soothe the two.

Adam yawned as he rubbed the sleep out of his good eye. Glancing forward, he could make out the blurry images of his two husbands hugging in the middle of the kitchen. He quirked a brow before hearing Shiro’s panicked voice. “I don’t know what’s going on,” he cried softly. Was something wrong? Damn, the brunette should have brought his glasses down.

“What do you mean?” He sounded slightly alarmed as he walked closer. The lack of animals present clued him into something very much being wrong, or that they hadn’t noticed yet. As the professor moved closer, he could hear the harsh breath of the youngest of the trio. “Curtis?” Adam gently touched his arm, earning a jolt.

Shiro watched as gray eyes darted to the place he’d been touched before quickly moving back to the floor. That moment is what scared the veteran the most. A trained reaction, Curtis had a trained, survival reaction. Taking the mug slowly, Shiro set it on the island’s cutting board before looking closely to where Curtis was.

His focused was distracted by his own thoughts and theories. Could Curtis have PTSD too? Why had he never shown signs before? Had he shown signs before and Adam and himself never noticed? It wasn’t until the small, dark creature moved from a black square to a white one that the other noticed the cause of fear.

Shock came over Shiro as he looked up to see Curtis’s gaze. Adam was trying to get him to look at him, or his attention in general, but no matter where his face was, his eyes were on the white tile now. Aracnaphobia? Shiro squished the small intruder, a small feeling of guilt coming over him as he did so.

Lance had arachnophobia though…. He would act similar but not as drastic. Everyone was different, yes, but Curtis was acting as if he was being hunted by a predator; like his life was at stake. When Shiro moved his socked foot away, Curtis could see the result of the action. His nerves slowly relaxed as his shaking started to slow. His heart rate started to function normally once more, eyes relaxing as arms wrapped around him comfortingly. “Curtis,” Adam asked with worry as he rubbed the smaller’s arm. “Are you alright?”

Gary met gary as Shiro started to stand with equally worry filled eyes. Curtis’s watered as his face turned red from embarrassment and shame. “Yeah, sorry.” He tried to move from Adam’s hold rather quickly. As he broke free and headed for his coffee, Shiro stopped him. “Hey…. we’re here if you need to ever talk you know.” The taller nodded as he took his mug. “I know.” As he turned on his heel to leave, the other two husbands looked at each other with looks of worry.

They wouldn’t push the matter, but they would ask someone else if they knew anything. The only family Adam and Shiro had ever been introduced to was Curtis’s sister: Hannah, and his grandmother: Muriel. Whenever visiting Muriel’s small apartment or Hannah’s home, Adam noticed there were never any pictures of anyone from Curtis’s side of the family but the three. There was no discussion about parents, neither husband ever bothered to ask. The same went for aunts, uncles, and cousins.

It wasn’t until now that all of this crossed his mind: were Curtis and Hannah victims of abuse? His heart stopped as his stomach turned to lead. He looked to Shiro was dread filled eyes as he handed Adam the phone. They’d try Hannah first and hope not to open any old wounds.

The phone call with Hannah was brief as she was having morning sickness, but her husband seemed to tip them rather generously. Muriel had told him some of the kids’ past, but he felt it wasn’t his place to tell them. Following the directions, Adam felt his eyes burn as emotion came over him, Shiro hiding his face in his hands. “They hide it pretty well, don’t they?” The question would forever haunt the two husbands. “I… I guess,” Shiro answered, voice wavering. He could hear Muriel choking up on her side of the phone.

“That’s my fault. They came to me and told me what was happening. Neither were liars, but I knew neither wanted to live with that piece of shit. So I asked their mother, and didn’t see them for almost a year after. They refused to talk to me about home or almost anything again after that. It was almost like a tease and I didn’t realize it until Hannah moved out for college and Curtis came and asked me to enroll him in the Garrison.”

Neither husband realized she had so much money until now. She’d been saving her whole life and put so much of it into where Curtis and Hannah’s parents should have. ‘It’s my fault he’s like this, Hannah too. I’m sorry boys. Just…. Give him some space for a while so he can calm down. The only other person he’s ever told about this was Ryan Kinkade, the others just started to mimic his actions whenever there was a spider or a fight. They were like his knights.”

Shiro started to rub Adam’s back as he collapsed slightly into himself. They could hear the older woman crying. “I should have been there for them, I should hav….. I’m sorry.” She took a breath to bring herself away from her guilt. “I’ll talk to you boys later. Let me know if you have any other questions, alright?” Shiro took the phone off of speaker before replying softly into the mic. With a click of a button, he set the device down face first onto the counter.

“It’s been two years,” Adam growled softly. Shiro hugged him softly, kissing his head. Adam had always been the more emotional based one; as in he knew what to do give certain situations or at least how to act. “Adam,” Shiro sighed, not knowing how to react right now. “We were talking about having kids Takashi. Kashi we don’t even know him! He’s been dealing with this on his shoulders for most of his life and hasn’t said anything to us, ever!”

Shiro sat back as Adam started to mash his emotions into one. He was angry at himself and Shiro for this, neither had ever thought anything of Curtis that way. Sure, he didn’t like fighting, but neither did Keith when he started to live with them. But they had separate reactions, which meant Adam and Shiro had different reactions to it. Neither questioned anything for over two years of marriage, for three of being together.

“We couldn’t have….. He didn’t want to talk to us about it. If you compose yourself we can try to check on him.” Shiro was trying to just stay calm. He was hurt and…. Felt terrible; but this wasn’t the time for self pity. They were going to have a talk with Curtis about this. If they wanted to be a family they had to trust each other and be open to their issues. Barriers lead to other barriers, which can lead to failure; which is not something you want to have when the three of you have been thinking about a child entering the family.

Adam gently smacked his arm with a growl as he moved off of the bar stool and walked twoards the sink to rinse his face with some cold water. Shiro was right, now wasn’t the time to tear himself apart; it was the time to make things right. The two took another few minutes to compose themselves before heading off to talk to Curtis.

Finding him wasn’t hard as Spice was screaming at the bedroom door, wanting to be let in. She knew something was wrong but she wasn’t allowed to enter. What the hell?! She barked, growled, whined, scratched, everything. Looking over her shoulder when she heard people coming up the stairs, she whined before getting mouthy and scratching at the door more.

Adam let out a soft sigh before opening it for her. The mutt barreled into the room, circling the bed before pouncing onto it. Curtis jumped up when the door opened, white blankets flying forward before being forced down by large paws. The other looked to his husbands in fear before being distracted by a loving, wet tongue.

He grunted before being fully pushed down by his over-sized, baby girl. “S-Spice,” he giggled. He started to giggle as a wet nose joined in the mix, moving around his face. Damn it, he was so ticklish! He giggled more as another dog joined the cuddle party. The tall, camo looking dog snuffed at the attempted service dog before growling at her. This was her human and her time for comfort!

Shiro jumped in quickly to pick up the small mixed breed before Spice took a chunk out of her face. “Curtis,” Adam asked softly as he tried to free him from Spice, “are you alright?” The other held his dog softly, slowly soothing her so he could breathe. “Yeah…. I’m sorry.” Sorry? “You have nothing to be sorry for,” Shiro stated as he set his dog in the hallway. “Stay here Pumpkin, okay?” She looked at him sadly before walking over to Adam’s cat (Coffee) and heading for the living room.

“I know but… it was a little dramatic of a reaction.” He shyly scratched his baby’s ears before moving behind them. “Your…. Grandmother told us.” The scratches stop, gray eyes widening before looking to the two in shock. “We…. we should have realized sooner. I’m…. we’re so sorry love.” Shiro stood beside where Adam sat on the queen sized mattress. The other turned his head, holding Spice close. “What did she tell you?”Shiro and Adam looked a bit shocked before looking to each other with concern. “Well,” Shiro started. “The spider ordeal. Curtis, your safe, I promise.” It did mean a lot to hear that from Shiro; he knew what it was like to feel like this, but in his own way. “She regrets opening her mouth to…. Her daughter,” Adam joined. Curtis sighed.

“She’d lost her job, and my dad couldn’t support us. To save money after my grandfather left her, grandma downsized to her current apartment and my mom refused to live with her for it. She had other issues with grandma but she never talked about it.

“Dad suggested her brother, my uncle. She agreed as she had a grudge with grandma over something.” Adam moved closer, sitting with crossed legs to listen to the other. Shiro sat on the edge of the bed, a hand resting on Spice as he listened.

“I was ten, Hannah was fourteen. We shared a room across from his, our parents were on the other side of the house, in the garage, and another door lead to a level below that. Even if they could hear us, it didn’t matter. We spoke up to our grandmother for help once and….. Mom fucking,” both sat up right. Curtis, swearing?

“She left a boot print on Hannah’s face and a hand print on both of my cheeks. We both started wearing makeup to school, otherwise we weren’t allowed to go.” He sounded slightly scattered, but if he was willing to share, the others wouldn’t say anything about it.

“Old man slapped me when I told him about the cage and our uncle, said we deserved it for not being grateful for our home. Grateful for what? Having every Christmas present they spent money on destroyed in front of us by foot or fire, not allowed to move as he did so?

“We stopped asking for things, the holidays had no joy anymore. Halloween, our costumes would be ruined, candy stolen; if we were even allowed outside that was. Thanksgiving was quiet, the adults only spoke. I can’t even remember anything else for holidays. If we were anything they didn’t want in that moment we were punished, even if we were just staying in our room.

“Hannah was the first. He locked her in an old dog cage with blankets and Mr. Fuzz, but the lights were on. She tried to befriend the spider despite her fear and he tried to bite her. I have no idea if he was venomous or not, but we neer wanted to find out.” His eyes started to water as he snuggled under Spice more. The rescue whimpered before nuzzling him more, kissing his cheek..

Adam gently moved his hand forward to rub his husband’s back gently. Curtis jumped before sighing slightly, allowing the touch. “He always shoved me in that fucking cage, locked it with a key and shut the lights off. He’d touch me arms and back, trying to distract me… think it was on me. I would have to focus in the dark to see any movement. To get to… that point.” He started to shake gently before shaking his head. “Hannah left me for college, and I begged my grandmother to put me in the Garrison.

“When I didn’t come back for the holidays, my mom started to call her, screaming that she took me from her. I was with Kinkade, his family offered me a place to stay over break. I never thought about the consequences, but I’d come so far from the kid that lived in that shit shack; I didn’t want to go back. Next thing I knew I got a call from my grandmother saying she was my caretaker now and I was coming home to her for now on.

“Her and Hannah put restraining orders on our parents and uncle, we still had to share a room when she came home but it was easier now.” He felt tears drip down his face before he received a kiss on his cheek. Curtis whimpered before leaning into the soft touch of the lips, Shiro joining in with his robotic hand. It stroked the dark locks in hopes to calm the male down.

Two hours it took, two hours. Curtis was sandwiched between the two, finally calm. His cheeks were damp and pink, brows up turned as he received more nuzzling. “You can always talk to us,” Shiro hummed as he looked sadly into tired, bloodshot, gray eyes. He nodded. “I’m sorry. Just…. You both have your own issues, I didn’t want to add mine to the stress.” He jumped when Adam poked his stomach. “Too bad. We were worried about you, damn it. Speak up.” Curtis smiled softly before nodding. “Yeah, sorry Adam.” He received a kiss on the eyelids, his favorite place.

He looked so exhausted, yet still rather depressed. Shiro grinned a bit before moving a hand to Curti’s neck. Both pairs of eyes fell onto him curiously. “Shiro?” Adam propped himself up slightly in interest. The other smiled dorkily. “Well…. If we are talking about kids, we’re all going to have to be able to slay eight-legged intruders.” He looked into the oldest of the three’s eyes. Adam was confused, but after hearing Curtis squeal for human fingers spidering on his neck, he understood.

“Whahhahat,” Curtis exclaimed as he was assaulted. Adam gently moved to his ribs. Spice had left for a bathroom break during the cool down session and hadn’t been allowed back inside just yet; which meant the two had all the room in the world to torment the poor guy until he was happy. Curtis shrieked, jolting around. He still wasn’t used to physical affection so much as tickling. He made Keith and Shiro look like clingy, cuddle bugs with how much affection he gave.

Adam had to demand affection from one husband, but he really had to demand it from the other; but both were blunt and didn’t quite understand the message. They tried their damndest to be gentle and light when it came to touches and places to attack. “Plehehehase dhahahaon’t,” the youngest squealed as he curled more into Shiro; who was hardly touching him anymore.

“We’re trying to help out with your fear dear,’ adam teased softly into his ear. “Now if you’ll excuse me.” Curtis felt like the innocence he’d left behind at ten. A single digit, aged version of himself just falling victim to his parents’ and sister’s mercy.

Hyper ticklish skin making the best memories of his childhood, from when they were a family.… from when they were a real, loving family. As Adam started to stop, Curtis gently moved the other’s hand to his stomach, a small frown on his face. His eyes were sad but… he didn’t truly want it to stop. It used to be such a comforting and calming feeling, a joyful and playful one.

It wasn’t until he started at the Garrison that he’d really had bonding experiences like this, and even then it was rare. But after marrying these two dorks, he found himself cuddled, hugged, tickled, kissed, and every soft action of affection that was out there almost on a daily basis.

Adam spidered his fingers over the taught surface, teasing softly as Shiro moved to hold Curtis better. The hug was firm yet loose, comforting and soft. Curtis melted into it, giggling and screaming like a mad man as “spiders” continued to roam his surface in hopes of curing his phobia little at a time.

Slowly but surely, the dou let him, laying to cuddle on the large mattress. Lips trailed up and down the youngest’s neck, earning soft giggles. Curtis brought his hands up to hold their heads softly as he squirmed about like a worm. Adam let out a snort before finally stealing a kiss on the lips, Shiro following in suit. “I’m sorry,” Curtis whimpered after the affection and loving high wore away. “Don’t be sorry,” Shiro reassured quickly. “We’re the ones that should be apologizing.” Curtis shook his head.

“Just…. Not used to opening up so much.” His gray eyes widened before he let out a gasp, jumping into Adam. Shiro gave him a look, hand clawed to strike again. “Nhahaha! Okay, okay, I’m sorry! Adsm!” The last part of the cry of anticipation was a whine as Curtis rolled to hide in the tallest of the three. Adam held him close with a small smile and roll of his eyes. “Alright, alright. ‘Kashi, I think he needs a break.”

Shiro smiled a bit before sandwiching Curtis between them. “As long as he doesn’t act like he thinks he’s a burden again, we’ll see.” Curtis could feel the smirk behind him. His stomach filled with butterflies and he felt almost weightless. However, he also felt his eyes growing heavy. Slowly, he calmed his breathing and nuzzled into the A cups before him. Paws rejoined the groups as fur babies fit in where they could, surrounding and covering the husbands on the bed.

“Night,” Shiro said softly before kissing Curtis’s temple and Adam’s lips. Adam made the kiss last before pulling away with a small, secure, smile.

So, even though Curtis let go of his blood family (with the exception of his grandmother and sister), he had the family he made for himself; the family he wore matching rings to, the family that was brought together through friendship, brotherhood, and even paws. He was so happy to be where he was now, even if it meant opening up to his family more.

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macbookpro-hard-drive · 6 years ago

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CAN I GET SOME HELP WRITING KISSING SCENES PLS I DIE EVERY TIME I NEED TO WRITE THEM BC I HAVEN'T HAD A GOOD KISSING EXPERIENCE THANK YOU YOU ARE THE BEST AND THE QUEEN OF WRITING

hello i have never been kissed in my life but i can try to help you!

throwing this under a readmore for simplicitys sake!

it really depends on what kind of kisses ur going for?

first kisses tend to be clumsy imo. teeth clashing, foreheads bumping, fuck where do i put my hands? on your waist? in your hair? help?, sometimes its awkward and wet other times its chapped lips. what do you notice? can you smell really strong cologne? is it stiff and awkward? or was this an impulsive, spur of the moment kiss where it was just a really quick accidental face smash before your partner pulled away for w/e reason? it’s good thing to think abt.

super passionate kisses send to be like... they last longer, i guess? hands/arms are more instinctively somewhere - hips, hair, around neck, ect - and it doesnt really tend to be as clash-y accidentally like a first kiss. i said super passionate but i meant more of a “we finally smooch again” sort of thing, the sort of kiss that comes at the end of a slow burn. but if you want more passion - its more movement. sometimes people get grabby, sometimes its some accidental backing up because you lose your footing, ect.

important note: mentioning kissing back is very helpful. kisses can be one-sided sometimes. mentioning the other person kissing back shows eagerness.

also: how much do you want this kiss to mean to the reader?

for example, consider how this:

looks compared to this

compared to

the first one implies the quick, impulsive nature of a rushed kiss. it lasts for a line before it’s dropped and before michael’s gone.

the second is more focused on senses and drawing things out. the desire of wanting to pull him closer, chapped lips, the smell of popcorn and shitty cologne. this sort of helps build up the kiss as being something important, as something that’d been waiting to come for a really fucking long time (and, considering its from feelings are fatal, it was). drawing attention to the senses at the time of being kissed helps build up this scene and image in the readers mind, helping with the imagination and visualization of the scene.

the third also is a bit more impulsive, while still bringing in the hints of being a bit more eager and desirable compared to the first. pulling him closer, his hands on your hips, whining when he pulls away - it helps build an image, but its not as strong or as shown as the second example does.

the more you describe a kiss, the more important it’s going to feel in the story. first kisses and long-awaited stuff are things that are really, really good for long descriptions. like... think about how important a kiss would be to you. compare everyday kisses to the kind of kiss that you’d expect to come at a long time of being apart, or to a kiss with someone you’ve Really wanted to kiss for a long time. they all have different weight to them - and it’s good to remember that when you’re writing.

thats all ive got for u! sorry i cant be of more help sdkfhds ive literally never been kissed so i dont exactly know what its like but i sure can fuckin pretend i do!

#Anonymous #asks

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girlsinthestars · 6 years ago

Text

I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown

Pairing: Enjolras/Grantaire

Word count: 2689

Warnings: None, it’s slightly angsty to begin with, but ends happily.

Read on AO3

Usually Enjolras’ taunts had no effect on Grantaire, usually he was able to laugh them off because he knew they were coming. But today was different. Today he was out of it, today he had received a letter informing him of his eviction, telling him to be out come evening, today he had lost his home and was, therefore, homeless, with all of his belongings stuffed into his backpack. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t been heading towards this but he just never thought he’d hit this kind of rock bottom. So he didn’t bother arguing any of Enjolras’ points, he didn’t bother throwing out sarcastic comments, he didn’t bother being anything other than a shadow in the corner. He figured no one would notice but it was just his luck that Enjolras did, and of course Enjolras decided to call him out on it.

“What has gotten into you Grantaire? You haven’t said a word all afternoon.”

“I haven’t had anything to say, I thought you’d be pleased.”

“Of course I’m pleased, it’s just unlike you is all.” There was an odd tone of concern in Enjolras’ voice that was entirely out of place, of course Grantaire had heard it directed at others but never him.

“Well maybe I’ve given up.”

“What on earth does that mean?”

“Maybe I just don’t care anymore, about the cause, about your speeches, about proving you wrong, I mean does it even matter?”

The room fell silent, as if everyone was holding their breath to see Enjolras’ reaction.

Enjolras glared at him. “If that is the case, perhaps you should leave. At least when you were pointing out my errors you were serving a purpose, however frustrating.”

Grantaire could only nod in response, because Enjolras was right, as always, he barely serves a purpose here. A stiff silence had settled over the room, Enjolras glaring at Grantaire who could only stare at the floor.

“Well?” Enjolras demanded, seemingly frustrated with the silence, “if you’re going to leave then leave. You’re wasting all of our time, you’re wasting our space, you’re wasting our resources, how many drinks have you had tonight?”

“Enjolras!” Combeferre hissed.

A tremor passed through Grantaire as he let those words sink in. True as it was, he never thought Enjolras would have the guts to tell him to stop wasting their time, space and resources. He nodded slightly then stood shakily.

“I’ll be going then.” Then, without even grabbing his coat he stumbled out the door into the snow.

It was cold outside, and quiet. And, god, so empty. Grantaire walked blindly in, hopefully, the direction of a motel of some description, somewhere warm at least. God, why hadn’t he fought Enjolras, why had he just got up and left? And since when had Enjolras started getting to him? He knew he was a waste of space, god forbid someone should let him forget it, so why had Enjolras saying it hurt so much? Was he really so delusional that he thought Enjolras returned his feelings on any level at all?

He had only gone a mile or so when he realised all his money was in the bag he had left in the Musain. Going back was not an option. There was no way he could face them right now. He sighed and dropped onto a bench, figuring this would be his life from now on, he curled up and made himself as warm as he could before closing his eyes and begging for sleep.

That was where Eponine found him an hour later.

“Jesus Christ R, what are you doing, it’s freezing out here you left your bag, and more importantly your coat!”

“‘Ponine? What are you doing here?” Grantaire asked blearily.

“Looking for you, you idiot! I went to your apartment after the meeting to make sure you were okay but you weren’t there.”

“Oh yeah,” He said, sitting up and brushing the snow off his sleeve, realising, as he came into consciousness, that his limbs had gone numb with cold in the time he’d been asleep, “got kicked out.”

“So you decided you’d sleep on a fucking bench?!”

“Didn’t wanna be a burden to anyone.”

“Is this about what Enjolras said? Because you know he didn’t mean it R, he was frustrated and hurt.”

“He was hurt?” Grantaire snorted, “What did he have to be hurt about?”

“By god you’re oblivious,” Eponine said, sitting down next to him and taking one of his hands, gently massaging feeling and warmth back into it, “he cares about you, he cares about your opinion. He was hurt because you said you didn’t care about him anymore.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“No, you said you didn’t care about the cause or his speeches, which is even worse because those are everything to him R, he spends all his time planning and thinking about them.”

Grantaire was silent.

“I think there’s a communication issue happening here and I think you two need to spend some quality time together so-”

“No.” Grantaire interrupted, “whatever you’re about to say, no.”

“-So, I’m volunteering his apartment as the place you stay until you find a new apartment.”

“No.”

“R you have to.”

“He wouldn’t agree.”

“Except he already has.” Eponine said, gleefully waving her phone at him.

“What did you tell him?”

“That I found you freezing to death on a bench and you need a place to stay.”

“And I can’t stay with you because…”

“I don’t have any space, Cosette and Marius moved in.”

“Ugh, I don’t want to live with you three anyway.”

“I’ll have you know, we are very cute.”

Grantaire sighed and smiled slightly. “I’m glad you’re happy.”

“Now it’s your turn.” She replied, smiling back.

Eponine escorted Grantaire to Enjolras’, saying she didn’t want him to chicken out and end up on another bench. Enjolras was a wreck when he opened the door. Grantaire felt almost uncomfortable seeing the usually so well put together leader so dishevelled.

“Fuck, R, I was so worried about you.”

Grantaire let out a strained laugh. “The mighty Apollo need not worry for any mere mortal.”

“This isn’t a joke.” Enjolras tugged Grantaire inside and gave a slight nod to Eponine, who smiled and gave Grantaire a hug, making him promise to be good before she left.

Enjolras turned to Grantaire. “I’m truly sorry Grantaire, what I said was horrible and wrong, you aren’t- you have never been a waste of anything and you don’t deserve that kind of treatment.” Enjolras said, staring so intensely into Grantaire’s eyes he felt like Enjolras was looking right into his soul.

“Don’t worry,” Grantaire said, with an awkward cough, avoiding Enjolras’ eyes and pushing past him to sit on the couch, “it shouldn’t have gotten to me, it doesn’t usually, I’d just had a rough day.”

“That’s not an excuse!” Enjolras said, following him into the apartment. “You should be allowed to have bad days, you can’t be expected to be the unshakable cynic all the time… or ever.”

“It’s not your fault.” Grantaire said, in a tone that made it clear that the matter was now closed for discussion. So Enjolras just nodded and walked into the kitchen and began preparing tea. It gave Grantaire time to think about what Eponine had said, had Enjolras really been upset by what he had said? It was uncharacteristic for him, but really, Grantaire had never been the best judge of Enjolras’ emotions and it was entirely possible he’d missed a hurt tone, a hesitation, or a dropped gaze in his own upset.

“I need to apologise too.” He said, after a while, “I don’t know how much my opinion means to you, but Eponine tells me it’s a lot, and I would hate for you to think that I had really given up on you or the things you care about.”

Enjolras handed him his tea and sat on the couch beside him. “Of course your opinion matters to me, you matter to me.” He started, staring into his tea, avoiding Grantaire’s gaze. “And I was… hurt, but that is no excuse for what I said to you.”

Grantaire looked up, searching Enjolras’ expression for a sign that he was lying, that this was just a joke, but he found nothing but honesty.

“I didn't… I never… I'm sorry, it didn't even occur to me it would matter to you whether I cared or not.” Grantaire said slowly, still processing.

Enjolras looked up, smiling a little. “It seems there have been some miscommunications between us.”

“So it seems.” Grantaire replied, smiling too. He wasn't sure he'd ever seen this expression on Enjolras, all soft and open. It made his heart flutter in a different way to its usual ‘holy shit Enjolras is so hot’ way, normally they were fighting, so naturally he had always imagined that if somehow he and Enjolras ended up in a relationship it would be more of a hate sex thing. But now, with Enjolras looking up at him with a soft smile, wearing loose pyjamas and holding tea, suddenly all these domestic images pop into his head. He sighed and put down his empty tea cup. “It's getting late, I don't want to keep you up, I'm sure you have a class tomorrow morning.”

“Oh.” Enjolras sat up, the softness from his expression fading, whatever barriers he normally had were back in place as he collected their mugs and disappeared into the kitchen. “So uh, I don't have a spare bedroom as such but there's a blow up mattress in the closet.” He walked back out of the kitchen and paused in front of Grantaire.

“Yeah- uh that's fine, I'm in no position to be fussy.” Grantaire stood up as well, following Enjolras to the closet where he pulled out the most dusty blow up mattress Grantaire had ever seen.

“...I don't have visitors often.” Enjolras offered as explanation. “I don't think I can make you sleep on this…”

Grantaire looked up, shocked. “No I- it's fine, seriously I've slept on worse, I would honestly be perfectly happy with the couch.”

“No, you're my guest, look my bed is a queen bed, we could both fit if that's alright with you, and we can go buy a better mattress tomorrow.”

At this point Grantaire literally felt himself ascend to the astral plane, where he stared god in the eyes and swore at them for letting this happen. How on earth was he supposed to sleep in the same bed as Enjolras without spontaneously combusting? And yes, that was an over exaggeration but he genuinely had no idea how they were supposed to live together until he found a new place let alone sleep in the same bed, even if just for a night. They argued enough already without being around each other all day.

Somehow Grantaire managed to change in the clothes he used as pyjamas, brush his teeth, and climb into Enjolras’ bed without panicking and/or annoying Enjolras. And lying stiffly as far over on the bed as possible he could not have regretted any decision more in his life. There was no way in hell he was getting any sleep.

Grantaire woke up to a weight on his chest. He tried to shift it but it just wound it's limbs around him and clung to him. He opened his eyes to a facefull of blond hair, which meant the weight clinging to him was Enjolras. Fuck. There was no way for him to get out without waking Enjolras up.

“Enj?” Enjolras shifted a little but made no move to wake up.

Grantaire sighed, he was stuck until Enjolras woke up, and it was a weekend and Enjolras was not a morning person, so he was gonna be here for a good while. Enjolras’ legs were twisted between his own, one of his arms was stretched above his head, resting his hand on the pillow next to Grantaire’s face, while the other was looped around Grantaire’s arm and clutching the back of his shirt, and his head was resting on Grantaire’s chest. It was like something directly out of Grantaire’s dreams but Enjolras must have just latched onto him while he was asleep, there was no meaning behind it and he really needed to not read into it. And yet…

“Mmmm.” Enjolras shifted again, his hand moving into Grantaire’s hair.

“Enj?” Grantaire tried again.

“Mmm?” Enjolras’ voice was muffled in Grantaire's shirt.

“Morning.” He said softly.

“R?” Enjolras said, lifting his head and looking up at Grantaire. Grantaire's insides melted at the soft expression on Enjolras’ face, but then his eyes cleared and a combination of embarrassment and shock flooded his face.

“Fuck I'm sorry, this is so embarrassing, I'm weirdly clingy in my sleep, I'm so sorry.” Enjolras rambled, extracting himself from Grantaire.

“Hey, no, it's ok! It's fine, I uh- I don't mind.” Grantaire said, grabbing Enjolras’ wrist before he could actually get out of bed.

“Do you want some coffee?” Enjolras said, looking at anything but Grantaire.

Grantaire watched him for a minute, sitting up. “Can I ask you something first?”

“Yeah, sure.” Enjolras replied, looking nervous.

“Did that mean something?”

Enjolras shifted awkwardly, sighing and seemingly steeling himself. “Well, as established last night there have been some miscommunications between us and I believe one of them is the fact that I do in fact care deeply for you, which, I have been informed, you are not aware of.”

Grantaire stared at him, starting to smile. “I like you too.”

Enjolras nodded, finally moving back across the bed and looking Grantaire in the eye. “Did you… did you really think I didn't care?”

Grantaire’s gaze dropped to his lap. “I didn't- I just- we fight a lot, ok? I didn't realise you considered me anything other than your sparring partner.”

Enjolras reached over and threaded his fingers through Grantaire's. “Hey, I'm sorry.”

“You don't-”

“No I do, R I'm sorry, I'm sorry I spent our entire friendship so far acting like you meant nothing to me. Because that could not be further from the truth.”

Grantaire finally looked up at him, smiling a little. “I'm sorry I always fight with you, I don't know why I always end up insulting you.”

“You know, combined we probably have the communication skills of a below average person.” Enjolras said, laughing and dropping his head on Grantaire’s shoulder.

“We got to this point though didn't we?”

Enjolras smiled up at him. “Yeah we did.”

“Enj, can I kiss you?”

Enjolras blushed and nodded slightly. “Yeah, of course, please.”

Grantaire turned and cupped Enjolras’ face, kissing him gently. His lips were soft, Grantaire mused, moving one of his hands into Enjolras’ hair, god was everything about this man soft?

Enjolras’ hands had slipped under Grantaire’s shirt and he was tracing patterns on Grantaire’s hips, and Grantaire honest to god felt his insides melt. Then Enjolras gently pushed him down until he was lying with Enjolras on his chest again, before he pulled back and buried his face in Grantaire's chest.

“You wanna go back to sleep?”

“Mmmhm.” Enjolras mumbled. “You're comfortable… and you smell nice.”

Grantaire laughed and wrapped his arms around Enjolras. “Well let me know when you want coffee.”

Enjolras nodded, clearly already half asleep. Grantaire smiled down at him, threading his fingers into the blond hair. So what if it took them 6 years to get here, they did it and it was worth all the fighting and pining, if only for this moment. If only so that he got to see Enjolras, their godlike leader, fast asleep on his chest, snoring lightly and wearing baggy, yet actual, button up PJs. They were far from perfect, they both sucked at communicating, and just because they were… ok they actually hadn't discussed it but whatever they were, it didn't mean they would stop fighting Grantaire knew that. But he also knew Enjolras liked him, Enjolras cared about his opinion, cared for him, and Enjolras knew he felt the same about him and he knew that would change everything.

#les miserables #enjoltaire #enjolras #grantaire #enjolras x grantaire #fic #les mis #cc writes

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officialheroesofolympus · 7 years ago

Text

Bittersweet Hanukkah (Wanda Maximoff x reader)

HeroesOfOlympus: Heyyy y’all! So, today is the last day of Hanukkah and I really wanted to write something for those who celebrate Hanukkah or just love and wish for more Hanukkah fanfics. I’ve been working on this for a few days and I’ve been really nervous because this is my first female character x reader fic and I’m also really scared that I may have not gotten the right idea of what Hanukkah is. I did my research but I still feel uneasy, so if I have offended y’all in any way, I’m really sorry! Also, I have no idea if MCU Wanda is Jewish but in the comics she is. @yourtropegirl @becaamm I saw both your posts and I just decided to tag you two, hope you like it!

Description: Wanda is feeling more upset about losing Pietro as it’s Hanukkah, his favourite time of the year. You try to comfort her by putting up Hanukkah related decorations in the tower and a very special gift.

Reader Gender: Not mentioned/Female or Male

Characters/Ships: Wanda Maximoff x reader, mention of Pietro and Tony

Rating: G

Warnings: Awkward writing, angst to fluff, mention of Pietro’s death (which I still have not gotten over)

Humming a Christmas carol cheerily under your breath, you strolled to your room with a bounce in your step as your mind swirled with various gift ideas to get for the other members of the team. As you got to the chorus of the festive song, a muffled sob immediately stopped you in your tracks.

Knitting your eyebrows together, you focused on the crying sound and found that it was coming from the room just ahead of you. Recognising that the room belonged to none other than Wanda, you tightened the grip on your reindeer decorated mug, contemplating on whether it would be appropriate for you to enter her room.

Chewing on your lip uneasily, you took cautious steps towards the smooth oak door of her room and twisted the door handle as silently as you could. Seeing that she hadn’t locked her door, it seemed okay for you to enter the girl’s room, so you did. Taking your chances, you cracked open the door, wincing as a squeaking sound came from it.

Poking your head around the corner of the door, you caught a glimpse of the back of the Sokovian’s head over her bed and you swiftly tiptoed into the room, silently shutting the door behind you. Realising that Wanda had chosen to change her window settings to darken and the only source of light was her ceiling lamps, your concern for her only grew.

Wanda loved having light flood her room, filling every dark nook and cranny, hence it was worrying that she had purposefully shut off the largest source of light in her room. Slowly blinking your eyes to adjust to the sudden lack of light, you set your mug down on the dressing table and carefully approached Wanda.

The moment your eyes fell upon Wanda and you saw how her muffled sobs made her whole body tremble, along with the way she buried her head between her thighs with her legs pulled up tightly against her chest, you felt your heart clench. Your eyes softened as you sat down next to the female, bringing your legs to your chest just like she had done.

“Wanda?” You finally managed to force the word out of your mouth, unsure of how to approach this situation. Fiddling with your fingers, you waited patiently for her to respond, racking your brains for any reason why she would be crying right now.

After a few seconds that felt more like hours, the other Avenger had finally lifted her head from the safety of her thighs, letting you see her face for the first time since you had entered the room. The tears that were staining her cheeks and hanging threateningly from the ends of her thick lashes glistened under the lamps just above her, the rims of her eyes red and puffy.

Managing a grimace, Wanda furiously rubbed away at the tears on her face, hoping to get rid of any traces that showed that she had been crying. In an instant, she felt a hand coil around one of her wrists, holding it so gingerly that Wanda had to look to make sure that there was indeed a someone holding onto her.

Reaching over, you tucked the strand of hair that had been blocking you from seeing the Sokovian’s face behind her ear, ignoring the pounding of your heart. “Wanda, what’s wrong?” You tried again, your hand lingering for a moment behind the girl’s ear before quickly moving away.

Wringing her hands nervously, Wanda resisted looking into your eyes, knowing that the moment she saw how much care and concern shone in your eyes, she would indulge all her secrets in you. Unfortunately, when your hand had shifted from your knee to hers, she lost all her self-control and caved into temptation.

“What’s wrong is that Pietro is not here,” She muttered with a waver in her voice, eyes nervously meeting yours.

Hearing the other Maximoff twin’s name, you let out a shaky breath you didn’t know you had been holding and immediately gave Wanda’s knee a light squeeze, encouraging her to continue. Taking an uneasy breath of air, the Scarlet Witch continued with a tremble in her voice, which broke your heart.

Wanda’s eyes began to water as she began to speak in a volume that was barely a whisper, “Celebrating Hanukkah was his favourite holiday and it just seems wrong to be celebrating it without him.” Slightly surprised at this newfound fact that Wanda was Jewish, you chastised yourself for thinking about that when you should instead be focused on listening to the reason behind your friend’s sadness.

Wanda’s eyes became unfocused as she continued talking, her words spoken in a nostalgic and heartbroken tone. “He used to try and sneak some latke when I was still in the middle of making them. I would chase after him, demanding him to give them back but I could never catch up to him. Even without his powers, he was a fast runner.”

Choking out a pained chuckle, Wanda shook her head as she recalled every tradition she did and every moment she had spent alongside her Brother during that holiday over the years. “It was his favourite time of the year and now that he’s gone...” She trailed off, taking an uneasy gulp as a fresh round of tears threatened to fall from her eyes.

Seeing the way her eyes seemed to be trained upon something, you followed the direction of where she was looking and found yourself staring at a box you hadn’t noticed before. Inside were trinkets and objects the girl had saved over the years from celebrating Hanukkah but most importantly, at the top of the pile was a picture of Pietro and her.

When Wanda’s eyes had flickered back to you, she caught you staring at the box and sobbed out, “That was the only picture I managed to keep after HYDRA.” Looking longingly at the image, she slowly reached forward to pick it up by its frayed edges, holding it gingerly and carefully in her hands as if one wrong move would tear the whole image into a million unfixable pieces.

As the both of you stared down at the picture, an idea struck you. Perhaps Pietro wasn’t here anymore but that didn’t mean Wanda couldn’t still celebrate Hanukkah. You just had to convince her.

And you knew exactly what to do.

“Where did all the Christmas decorations go?”

Hearing Wanda’s voice drift into the living room, you forced yourself to stop bouncing on your heels and compose yourself. Fighting down the continuous need to grin, you wrung your hands behind your back, quivering with anticipation as you awaited Wanda’s judgment of what you had done.

Seeing the awestruck look on her face as she stepped into the living room, surveying her surroundings, you couldn’t stop the giggle that had managed to sneak its way out of your mouth. “How? What?” Wanda stumbled over her words, mouth dangling wide open as her eyes lingered on everything you had recently set up in the living room.

Finally, her green orbs settled onto you, who stood in the centre of it all. The corners of her mouth immediately quirked upwards whilst her heart started to pound faster and louder, something that seemed to happen more often whenever she was around you.

Slowly approaching you, she waved her arms around the room, gesturing to the new decorations that replaced the Christmas ones you had previously put up. “Did you do this?” She whispered, her eyes shining with gratitude and astonishment.

Shrugging your shoulders nonchalantly, you tried to keep the rising smile at bay by biting down hard on your lip. However, the moment the Sokovian caught the way your mouth had twitched, she instantly knew that you were fighting a smile.

Standing an arm’s length away from you now, Wanda elegantly arched an eyebrow, folding her arms and tilting her head to the side, waiting. She knowingly waited for your excitement to get the better of you so that you would finally lose the patience that was already slipping away from your fingers and answer her.

Sure enough, an infectious smile rivaling the warmth of the sun stretched onto your face, giving Wanda the answer she needed. Nodding your head enthusiastically, you showed a moment’s hesitance by biting your lip before all the words rushed out of your mouth in a hurried craze, as if you were worried that you would forget them if you didn’t say them immediately.

“After seeing you sad, I just couldn’t stand by and let you continue to be in pain. I had to do something, anything to make you happy. So,” You gave a pause to let your eyes flicker over to the Hanukkah related decorations you had painstakingly put up, pride practically radiating from you.

You shot the woman a smile that just seemed so genuinely sweet with just the right touch of shyness that unexpected warmth rushed through her. “I did all this, to show you that even though Pietro isn’t here, there are other people that want to celebrate Hanukkah with you.” You finished, face now flushed in embarrassment at how mushy you sounded.

Just as Wanda thought things couldn’t get any better, you pulled your hands out from their stiff position behind your back, raising them towards the Brunette to reveal an album. Startled at the aspect of another surprise for her, Wanda shakily reached out to gingerly take the album from you.

Face shining with anticipation and appreciation, the girl forced herself to move her fingers to flip through the album. The moment she flipped to the first page, her eyes widened at what she saw. Staring back at her were photos of Pietro and her. Awed, she flipped through the pages slowly, taking her time to let the images soak into her brain and to comprehend that this wasn’t just a dream.

“Tony has a camera installed in his suit to record everything he sees, so I just asked him to help print out pictures of both of you from said recordings. I also got help from SHIELD and almost every orphanage you and Pietro entered for your child photos. Also-”

At this point, Wanda’s heart was bursting with love for you, grateful and amazed that you would cancel your favourite holiday, which you had been harping on about since the first of December, and collect all these photos just to make her happy again.

Letting out a tiny gasp, she clasped a hand over her mouth to hide the ear-splitting grin that was rising onto her face, reaching out her other free hand to grab yours. Her abrupt action had caught you off guard and in turn, cut you off mid-sentence of your enthusiastic rant.

Trying to convey her joy through squeezing your hand, she found that the action wasn’t sufficient enough to show her gratitude and decided to pull you towards her, opting instead for a hug. Wrapping her arms around you, she held you close to her while she settled her chin on your shoulder, her smooth locks brushing against your cheeks.

Suddenly, she found herself unexpectedly sobbing once again, this time not in pain but in elation. Eyes brimming with tears, she didn’t try to hold them back, knowing she couldn’t even if she wanted to. She let them flow freely from her eyes, letting them roll down her cheeks and off her sharp jawline before they got soaked up by your shirt.

Pulling away, she held her breath as she watched you swipe your thumbs over her remaining tears, finding herself unknowingly leaning into your warm touch. Out of nowhere, an idea struck her and she gathered up the same courage she always did before a battle, planning to put this idea into immediate action.

“Look, a mistletoe.” She breathed, admiring how adorable you looked when you furrowed your eyebrows, confusion written all over your face as you peered upwards to check and to indeed see a mistletoe hanging between you and Wanda. You took a sharp intake of breath, eyes widening at the realisation of what you soon had to do.

Stammering, you felt your cheeks heat up to form a blush whilst you tried to distract yourself from the inevitable. “I swear, I thought I got rid of every Christmas decoration…” You trailed off, absolute puzzlement laced in your words. Wiping the cheeky smile off her face, Wanda gave a tiny lift of her shoulders, looking like the epitome of calm when inwardly, she was anything but relaxed.

“Kissing under the mistletoe is a Christmas tradition, isn’t it?” She asked innocently, tilting her head to the side and reminding you of a puppy. Nodding your head dumbly, you gulped loudly, eyes fluttering down to look at Wanda’s kissable and inviting lips before focusing back onto the Sokovian. “We can’t break a tradition, especially a Christmas one,” She continued.

Moving your head up and down again, you held your breath as she tugged harder on her grip around your waist, pulling your body against hers. Face flushed, her moment of boldness quickly dissipated as she hesitated, loosening her hold on you. Seeing how nervous Wanda also was, you brought your arms up to coil around her neck, a move clearly made to urge her on.

Filled with courage once again, the usually shy girl once again added more pressure to her hold on you, seeming more sure of her actions. As cliche as it sounded, time seemed to slow down for the both of you as you noticed every tiny detail of each other’s faces. Agonizingly slow, Wanda leaned forward to seal your lips with a kiss but your patience soon wore thin and you closed off the gap between the two of you.

Both of you pressed your lips against the other’s, aware of every contact your bodies made with each other. It was soft and sweet, and you never wanted it to end. Unfortunately, breathing was a thing and thus, the two of you pulled apart reluctantly, such a small action causing both of you to end up breathless.

“You put up the mistletoe, didn’t you?” You tried to question blamingly, only to end up asking in a soft panted whisper. The corners of Wanda’s mouth pointed skyward, answering your question and making you laugh for some reason.

Your laughter, which Wanda found was warm and bright just like the sun, was soon cut off by the Brunette molding her lips against yours again, a single thought running through her mind.

Perhaps Pietro was no longer by her side and she couldn’t do the same traditions she always did with him during Hanukkah but she had you now, not to fill in her Brother’s void but to remind her that she still deserved happiness.

And for the first time in years, she felt at peace.

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rrrawrf-writes · 7 years ago

Text

eye contact

or alternatively: “staring contest”

very very very tenuously attached to this

(and yes tes, you were right, rhiot does do this a lot)

“I really can’t let you in, sir,” the soldier said apologetically. “They’re still being debriefed.”

“What’s your name?” Javed demanded, eyeing the brown and black brindled dog at the soldier’s feet. She blinked back up at him.

“Sergeant Rhiot Archer,” the soldier said. He wore a pair of frameless glasses, and eyed Javed sidelong despite facing him, with a way of slightly ducking his head and not quite meeting another person’s gaze that Javed recognized.

He often did something very similar.

This time, Javed refused to soften his glare, despite his power pushing at the back of his eyes. His fury at hearing his agents had been detained by the MUGD had subsided, but only by a very little. Now, faced with a very tangible roadblock to his goal, Javed’s anger surged. So. He did not look away.

Javed tilted his head back a little; he and Rhiot were about the same height. After a moment, the Chinese-American soldier recognized the challenge. He straightened and looked Javed full in the face.

He knew Rhiot to be classed a psychic instantly. There was just something about the gaze, and the fuzziness that brushed up against some sixth sense of Javed’s, the same kind he had gotten around Psion when they met - albeit less intrusive and forceful. This seemed... polite. A sort of, are you sure you want to do this? offered to a drunk man, before the sober person hauled off and whipped his ass.

Javed was sure. He stopped looking at the inside of his own glasses lens - a trick he often used to feign eye contact, without inadvertently overwhelming someone - and glared at Rhiot. He felt an odd, tentative sort of prickle at the front of his mind.

His efforts were met with a little more resistance than Javed was used to - even Psion hadn’t been able to stand up to him for more than a few seconds, and he was one of the most powerful telepaths alive. Rhiot didn’t even seem to be bothered.

Javed mentally pushed a little harder. He felt the fuzzy pressure increase against his own mind - and then something broke. For both of them.

Rhiot blinked, startled. “Oh,” he said, surprise and keen interest coloring his voice. Javed had no choice but to echo the quiet exclamation.

He felt much more than just ‘oh.’

Javed felt - pulled. And not only that, but disoriented and confused. Rhiot stood at a casual parade rest, hands clasped but behind his back - but then he and Javed were forced into mirroring each other, their arms trapped somewhere between trying to keep them at their sides, and crossed over their chests. That awkward stance wasn’t the only one Javed’s power was trying to force on him - on them both, he realized, just as he also realized that his body was being pulled downward. He felt like he should be on all fours - or sitting, speaking with one hand cut through the air for emphasis. He and Rhiot raised it without meaning too, the two men staring wide-eyed at each other, as someone not in the hallway with them said, “Ma’am, I told you, we didn’t -”

There was a sudden pause, while Javed tried to understand why he wasn’t seeing just Rhiot and his dog, but a woman behind a desk in a sunlit-filled room, a pair of knees in black slacks, his own face.

He, Rhiot, and that third voice that echoed queerly in the back of his head, said in a strangled voice, “What the hell.”

After a shocked silence, an icy voice - one that didn’t echo, or force Javed into speaking the same words, but instead sounded distant and oddly muted - said, “Excuse me, Captain Parker?”

“Archer!” snapped the male voice, and Rhiot and Javed in unison. A scene flashed to the front of Javed’s jumbled vision: the same tight-lipped woman in an Army dress uniform, resplendent behind her desk with a display box full of metals, and staring at them with cold anger - but then it was gone. Along with the image, Javed felt almost as if they had cut off some significant weight he had never before noticed holding him back.

Javed wasn’t in control. Out of everything suddenly crowding his senses - the sound of husky breathing, the bizarre angles looking back at his own face (and legs, he realized, those were his black slacks and shoes he saw) - even the strange taste in his mouth - the lack of control scared Javed the most.

He tried to put out an arm to steady himself against the wall, but for the first time in his life, Javed couldn’t move his own body. It was like struggling through thick syrup, tied down with chains pulling him in two different directions.

Javed tried to pull back, away. He and Rhiot stood stock-still, both their arms rigid at their sides now, feet apart, slightly stooped as Javed fought the urge to get down on all fours like a -

The dog, stiff-legged and quivering, whined. Rhiot and Javed copied the noise. Javed gave himself a mental tug, trying to free himself from the connection with Rhiot - and someone else - and closed his eyes.

The soldier let out a sudden bark of laughter.

“Sorry, director,” he said, voice strained. Even with his eyes closed, Javed could see - see himself from those two very different angles, straining against invisible chains. “You don’t get off that easily.”

Javed’s eyes flew open. Whatever Rhiot’s power was, it was stronger than his.

It was stronger than his.

Every other time, breaking eye contact for more than a second had been enough to cut the connection. Javed could shed the possession of another’s body as easily as his glasses, but not this time. This time, a tether held him tight to Rhiot, the two of them unable to move for the mental struggle they were having.

At least Javed hadn’t been forced to say those last words. He worked his jaw, testing it. His heartbeat pounded in his ears, quicker and quicker. He felt the shadow of another beat in his chest, steady and calm - but becoming less so as Javed’s nerves skyrocketed.

No. Not one other heartbeat.

Two.

“Let me go,” Javed forced out, stiff and pained. Rhiot smiled at him, an expression apologetic, exhausted, and depressed all at once.

“You first, director.”

Javed glared at him. Fine. Then’d he’d take over, he thought, and mentally shoved forward. Rhiot had a pocketknife - Javed had no idea how he knew that - they’d see how determined the young soldier felt when he held the blade to his own throat.

He jerked his hand towards his pocket, gratified to see Rhiot make the same motion. The soldier set his jaw, red-faced, and narrowed his eyes. A deep, low growl rumbled in the back of Javed’s mind, his chest. He unconsciously bared his teeth as his hand closed around the pocketknife.

The pocketknife that Rhiot had, and Javed didn’t, and yet - Javed still felt it. The roughened grip was all too real against his palm, the fingers curling around something more substantial than air. Distraction forced Javed to look down at his empty hand.

Rhiot took control again.

Their fingers were forced open, one by one. Javed seethed as he saw the knife hit the ground from three different angles, and his head jerked back as the dog’s did, in surprise.

“Can - Can we sit down?” Javed’s throat was dry - no, Rhiot’s was dry, Rhiot was the one speaking, Javed had never had this much trouble keeping himself separate from his victims. “It’s hurting Loula - she can’t stand like you and me.”

Grudgingly, Javed relinquished some control, and the three of them found another corner of the complex to tuck themselves into. Rhiot refused to let him go - but Javed discovered, on their short walk to an alcove outfitted with a couple of hard chairs they ignored in favor of the floor, that he didn’t have to be looking at Rhiot to force the younger man to copy his motions. It was advantage and disadvantage, mixed up all in one. Javed had never been able to do that with anyone else.

“I call it, ‘sharing space’,” Rhiot explained, sitting with Loula in his lap. Javed mimicked his cross-legged pose, but his hands were stiff in his lap, while Rhiot stroked Loula’s thick fur. The dog had closed her eyes, but now Javed realized that the sharper scents and sounds he smelled and heard came from her. Javed clenched his teeth to stop his mouth from moving along with Rhiot’s. “You don’t need to worry, I’m not a telepath or anything. I can feel emotions if I press harder, but that’s about it.”

Javed thought the soldier was lying, but he couldn’t be sure. Rhiot kept his eyes on Loula, filling all three of their’s vision with her patterned fur. Javed’s fingers twitched at the secondhand sensation of softness as Rhiot scratched underneath Loula’s harness. An itch under one shoulder blade, that Javed hadn’t realized he felt, eased.

“You’re luckier than Flower Metal and the embodiment of pure human rage,” Rhiot added conversationally, “they both got the full package - eight people, besides me and Loula here.”

Javed frowned, and took his turn speaking as Rhiot tightened his mouth shut. “Who?”

“Uhh. Pink hair guy, and that Samoan lady.”

Those were apt descriptions, Javed had to admit. Rhiot glanced briefly at him. “Yours?”

Both of their jaws were starting to ache by this point, from resisting the urge to speak the same words as the other. Javed thought only briefly about exiting the weird co-mingling of their powers, then decided against it. He wasn’t going to run away and let Rhiot win.

“Mirroring,” Javed said shortly. “You can - share space with eight people at once?” He gestured absently with one hand, forcing Rhiot’s to lift from Loula’s back. “With a dog?”

“More, on a good day.” Rhiot tried to shrug, but managed nothing more than a slight twitch of one shoulder. He grimaced and ignored the second part of the question. “You can only hold one?”

They both nodded at each other. Javed had never felt the limitations of his power more keenly. If Rhiot managed this - this mess of sensation and heartbeats on a regular basis, then no wonder he had trapped Javed.

“You did this to - to my people?”

“Only for a few seconds,” Rhiot said. “Just long enough to calm them down.”

Javed’s swell of anger must have transmitted itself to Rhiot, because he and Loula both stiffened; the latter growled softly.

“I didn’t hurt them,” Rhiot said, defensive.

“Then why are two of them in the hospital?” Javed snapped back, fast and forcefully enough that Rhiot said the words along with him. The soldier tightened his lips and stared at Javed for one long moment, until the director finally loosened his grip on the soldier’s body.

“That’s classified.”

#iwrite #superpowerverse #mugd #mi #battle buddies #rhiotnloula #javed

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