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maplecornia · 4 years ago

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chapter 25

𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: 2.19K

𝔰𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶: You watched them from the sidelines ever since you were a young teenage girl. Now you’re grown up, they’ve returned after 2 long years and everything has changed. What happens when you pull back the mask and find the darkness within? What happens when you see that they’re broken?

𝔞/𝔫: idk about you, but i really like this chapter, i think it's super FLUFFY

"You're an idiot."

"How was I supposed to know it was that high?! You're lucky I didn't drop your cake."

You smile, you can't help it. Spending the day with him wasn’t as bad as you thought it was. The time at the cafe was enjoyable, even when he decided it was a smart idea to try and climb on top of a wall, you found yourself content and happy.

It was definitely better than being alone.

"If you did, you wouldn't be standing." You mutter, trying to keep your voice smooth and calm. He lets out a soft gasp, turning to you in mock fear.

"You're scary."

"Maybe." You purse your lips, but can't keep the sly grin from spreading on your face.

When he asked you to spend time with him, you didn't imagine that it would be this fun. He took you to a cafe, and as soon as you started talking it was as though the two of you had known each other for years. Glancing over at him, you study his features just like you did the first time you saw him across the hall.

He's the type of person you feel comfortable with, someone you can rely on.

"You know what I just realized?" he says, pausing in the middle of the sidewalk. You turn to him, raising your brow.

"What?" You ponder when he doesn't finish his thought right away.

"We never introduced ourselves." You chuckle as he runs up to you before holding out his hand. Looking at it with a skeptical look, you hesitate before taking it.

"My name is Hwang Sunoh, it's a pleasure to meet you, madam."

You smirk, shaking your head at his overdramatized accent.

"I'm Yen Lin...well I suppose here you'd call it like, Lin Yen." You respond and can't help but smile at his giddy grin.

"It's nice to meet you."

Hwang Sunoh.

It's surprising how just yesterday, he was someone who had dampened your day. Now, he's able to bring a smile on your face without hardly lifting a finger. You can't help but feel a bit free. When you're around people like him, things just seem so easy. It's hard for you to remember that there was a time when you didn't feel this way.

It's hard for you to realize that the world can be cold.

Releasing him, you turn to start on your path home but freeze.

Your heart begins pounding, your palms turning cold as you notice the figure standing in front of your apartment complex. Shocked, you step back a bit, trying to make out his facial features, but his back is to you.

"It can't be..." You murmur under your breath.

There's no chance it can be him, can it?

Memories of the day on the bridge. The moments where he held your hand. That faint crinkle to the sides of his eyes when he smiled...The body is the same, the hair has the same curl, his jawline holds the same flawless curve.

Sunoh looks from you to the stranger with curiosity.

"Do you know him?" he questions, peering into your face, but you don't answer. You can't answer. Your throat has gone dry and you find that it's hard for you to breathe.

What if it is him? What would you do then?

You never thought you'd see him again, but what happens if he found you?

Swallowing hard, you walk forward, but the figure turns around and you balk, freezing once more.

It's not him, but someone else.

Someone even more surprising.

"Tae?"

Once he catches sight of you, he rushes forward, pocketing his phone.

But why? Why is he here?

As he draws closer, you can see that his eyes are locked on you, that he doesn't pay much attention to anything else. His eyes are full of worry, and his brow is furrowed with resolution. For a moment, you forget about Sunoh standing next to you, you forget about everything else. Once more, it's only you and him.

His feet pounding as he reaches a stop next to you, he takes you by the shoulders and lowers his face so that he's eye to eye with you. Eyes wide, you blink at him, forgetting to breathe for a moment.

"Are you okay?!" Confused, you don't answer him at first. Taking that as a bad sign, he begins to examine you, looking up and down for any injury, any scar, anything to show that you had been hurt in some way. Pressing his hand to your forehead to check for a fever, he growls a bit in frustration. "You weren't answering your phone, do you know how worried I was?!"

Taehyung?

Worried about you?

Someone tell me I'm dreaming.

Stunned, all you can do is look at him, unable to move an inch. Sunoh, extremely confused, looks between you and Taehyung, trying to piece two and two together. For one, why is an idol fussing over you as though you were a lost kitten? For another, how did you know a member from the most renowned and respected group in Korea?

Smiling a bit to himself, he can't help but chuckle.

Yen, you're more impressive than I thought.

That small sound catches Taehyung's attention.

As soon as he realizes the two of you have company, he pulls away, his grip tightening on you almost protectively. He turns to Sunoh, his brow furrowing with foreign hostility. At the reaction, Sunoh steps back a little, chuckling nervously.

"Ah...hello?" he mumbles, but all Tae does is raise his eyebrow, unamused.

"Who is this?" he asks you, and you finally wake up, turning to your new friend. Eyes wide, Sunoh looks to you as though you are the only one who can save him.

"Oh, he's my friend." You answer for him, edging a bit closer to him so that Taehyung doesn't attack. Nodding to him, he smiles nervously and holds out his hand once more, introducing himself.

"I'm Hwang Sunoh, nice to meet you."

Taehyung doesn't say a thing, doesn't even take his hand. He looks at it as though it were a thing he found in the trash and regards Sunoh with an icy glare. Apprehensive, Sunoh chuckles weakly, and pulls back from him, rubbing his neck.

"Uhm...Sunoh, why don't you go on ahead? I'll get my things later, okay?" You say, offering him an escape and he takes it gratefully. Stepping back a bit, he bows to Taehyung before making a break for the complex. You chuckle a bit at his frantic flee before turning back to Taehyung.

He's not really looking at you, his gaze distant and almost respondent. Confused, you squirm underneath the uncomfortable silence, wondering what exactly he needs. Why he's here. Biting your bottom lip, you try to catch his eye, but he avoids it.

"What was that about?"

At your voice, he looks up, his eyes dark and unreadable. For a moment, you wonder if he's upset, and it makes you a bit frustrated. What is there to be upset about?

"Who is he?" he asks again, his voice deep and demanding. Biting the inside of your cheek in annoyance, you cross your arms. Just because he's having a bad day doesn't mean that he has to take it out on you.

"He's my neighbor..." Once you realize you're giving in to his tantrum, you shake your head. "Why does it matter? What's wrong?"

He looks at you with those eyes, causing you to lose your cool and almost squirm under his gaze. But you don't look away, what is there to be ashamed of? You didn't do anything wrong. Rolling your eyes, you shake your head and brush past him.

If he's not going to say anything then there is no reason for you to stay.

Taehyung rolls his eyes at your stubbornness and grabs you by the arm, turning you around. You open your mouth, ready to say an angry retort, but with one fierce look, he shuts you up. Taking your hand, he pulls you behind him. You try to pull away, only managing to when he stops.

"Kim Taehyung, what the hell do you think you're doing?" You demand, but all he does is offer you a sideways glance before turning to the sunset.

"Look." He murmurs, and you narrow your eyes at him before obliging.

You let out a small gasp, finding it hard to breathe. How can you when met with beauty such as this? He smiles at your expression, his eyes tender and affectionate.

"I wanted to show you." He explains, even though he knows that you can hardly hear him.

He has taken you to the small overlook in front of your complex. It offers the two of you a beautiful scene of the sun setting on the Han River. It's almost as if the sea is swallowing it, melting it into a palette of oranges and reds almost as if it were the mere paints dripping from a canvas. Smiling, you step forward until you reach the bar that protects you from falling over the edge.

Turning to him, you regard him with curious eyes.

"You came here just to show me this?"

Blinking, he doesn't answer you at first. He doesn't know what to say. If he were to say the truth, that his mind was clouded and he needed to find a way to clear it. If he said that he wanted to see you because you were the only one who could free him from the voices that continue to tell him he's not enough. If he said that he came to remove you from his mind...

What would you do then? Would you still look at him the same? Or would he lose you all over again?

Clearing his throat, he tears his eyes away from you. Perhaps this way, it will be easier to lie.

"No, I came because I was worried." He mumbles. Noticing your confused expression, he sighs, running his hands through his wind-kept hair. "You weren't answering your phone."

For a moment, as the sun catches his face, you're distracted from the beauty nature has to offer you. Instead, you focus on him. A beauty that is impossible to describe in mere words. A beauty that is impossible to touch, impossible to keep, for fear that it would be lost as soon as you touched it. It's like the light. Though you may try to hold it in your fingertips, after a while, it slips away. It always slips away, it never stays.

He will never stay.

Swallowing the growing lump in your throat, you turn away. It hurts too much. In some ways, this is worse than when he was a country away. When he didn't know you existed. At least then, you knew that you had no chance of losing yourself to someone you'll never meet. But now...

Now he's so close, but he feels so far away.

Will it always be this way?

Will you always have that impenetrable wall between the two of you?

Where he will always be the idol, and you will always be the fan?

In the distance, you can spy the same bridge that you met him on. The same bridge where your world was changed. Turning to the man beside you now, you entertain the thought that he's the real man in the mask. Smiling at the notion, you chastise yourself. It can't be him.

After all, the universe can't be that kind.

"Taehyung?" you murmur, hoping he doesn't catch the thickness in your voice, or the lump threatening to break.

"Hm?" he responds absentmindedly, and you close your eyes at the sound of his voice behind you. If you wish hard enough, will the two of you be able to stand side by side as equals?

Or will he forever be that far?

"Why did you give me your number?"

The question catches him off guard, and he opens his eyes, turning to look at you. Though your back is to him, it's wracked with tension and unspoken words. Almost as though you were preparing to be let down.

Again.

He bites his bottom lip, trying to choose the best words to say to you. When he notices the way you clench and unclench your hands at the sound of silence, he smiles softly before stepping forward.

Standing close, mere inches away from you, he takes your hand gently in his fingertips. Before you have a chance to pull away, he brushes his lips lightly across your knuckles. Speechless, you find your heart constricting with unimaginable longing.

After a moment, he raises his eyes to yours, his lips still pressed against your skin. A sultry look, you find your breath shortening, your heartbeat fluttering an unheard tune. He smiles at your wide, innocent eyes before lowering your hand and using his to brush back your hair.

"Well, we're friends. Aren't we?" he responds, his hand resting on your cheek for a moment before he releases you and steps away.

Always a considerable distance apart.

From the moon and the star.

𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔢: you know even though love alarm was the worst thing since tomatoes, i still couldn't help putting the characters in the story ;-;

chapter 26 here

check the Infinite Stars masterlist for more chapters

check my BTS masterlist for other BTS content

check out my masterlist for other kpop fanfics

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mithliya · 4 years ago

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(tw eating disorders!) do you know any good tips on getting rid of immense body hate? i hate my body so much and it has hindered me from doing a lot things like spending time with family and friends, going outside, bathing in summer, being intimate with my partner and so on. i want to exercise but i get full blown panic attack when i try and then if i actually manage to do it i'm so tired i sleep the rest of the day. i also have very bad ibs which has made my relationship to food even worse since no mattee what i eat i bloat, get cramps/gas, feel sick and nauseous and nothing tastes good, and no doctor takes me seriously, they just see a fat lazy girl... i don't know what to do, and knowing i'm a bad feminist because all i want is to be skinny is making this even worse😞 sorry to bother you, and if this is triggering just delete it, i totally understand♥️

i think im not the best person to ask about this as i don't have many tips and i don't deal with IBS so my help in that regard would be limited. ill try anyways and hopefully people who are better qualified can jump in and provide better advice.

with the exercise, maybe start off small. try to pay attention to your thoughts and figure out why exactly exercise leads you to experiencing panic attacks. set very small and achievable goals, something that isn't scary and no big deal to you. then slowly work your way up. i like to just do those quick ab workouts on youtube and keep doing them until i feel like it has gotten easy, then trying something else. it's not necessarily the best for changing my body, but it helps me in other ways. this can also help you build up your stamina and your confidence while not pushing you too hard. personally, i felt that exercising did improve my confidence in my own body. even if my body didn't change much, i felt good about myself and felt like i was being productive and helping myself.

looking into IBS, i saw sites say that exercise can also help you with managing your symptoms. cutting out dairy, having good quality sleep, high-fiber foods, among other things also seem to help. maybe having smaller meals but eating more frequently will help make eating food more manageable and enjoyable to you? again, don't know much about this so take what i say on that w a grain of salt. im sure theres ppl w IBS on here that do offer advice and support, they may be more helpful in that regard.

i know this is also easier said than done-- but try to focus on your health over your weight. for example, think of working out as a means to achieve comfort with your body and improve your health, rather than as a means to become skinny. focusing on weight loss can lead to unhealthy habits and fixations on things that will ultimately make you stress more and help you less. think about how you could reduce the symptoms you experience with IBS (which can cause bloating and other things which can affect how your body looks; so pay attention to what you eat and how your body reacts to it so u know what to cut out) and analyse where these fears and anxieties you have come from. the more you understand yourself, the easier it is to address the problem.

also tbh this might not be relevant to you but personally, when i go on instagram and see all those perfect models without any of the things most women's bodies have, i end up feeling shit about myself and my body and wanting to hide myself. so i'd strongly recommend avoiding such things, as well as avoiding pro-ana stuff or consuming things which emphasise skinny-ness or unrealistic ideals. and avoid comparing your body to others as much as you possibly can. other people have different metabolisms, genetics, their health varies, their body type is different, etc so comparing yourself to them won't be particularly productive.

thats all i can think of, im sorry if i wasnt able to help much but i hope i at least told u Something which can be of use to u :(( i'm sorry you're going through this, its really difficult to deal with body dysmorphia.

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