#my idea teapot is so so empty. pls help.

[rosyredlipstick]

longshot ik but does anyone want to share an opinion on what kind of scene they want to see in space fic ch10 <3 bc i need to a filler scene to transition vibes and all i know about this scene is that 1. its on the rebel base 2. that's it.

do you like training scenes. do you like planning meetings. do you like conversations. characters perhaps. what is popular with the readers. this fic is already so so so indulgent why not indulge specifically.

[choicessa]

Yearning for you (M!Kayden x MC)

Pairing: M!Kayden x MC

Book: The Royal Masquerade

Words: ~ 3100

Summary: After her engagement with Hector, MC receives the letter from Kayden, requesting a meeting with her. Will they finally confess their feelings, or keep them hidden inside? 

Note: Last chapter left me SHOOK and since we have to wait another week for a new one, I just had to put all of my feels into this fic. It’s an alternative to the last chapter, where Renza didn’t lie to MC about Kayden wanting to meet her so in my fic they do meet after all... I would say enjoy buuuut it’s full of drama, angst and slowburn soooo... Just don’t die and don’t kill me after reading, pls?

Tags: @maria-soederberg​ , @the-everlasting-dream​, @flowerpowell​, @drakewalkerwhipped​

Kayden tags: @flyawayboo​

'You wanted to see me?'

Kayden immediately turned around, his lips forming a small 'O' at the sight of the person coming to the cabin he was in.

He wasn't entirely sure why was he surprised, after all, he was the one who sent her the note, asking for a meeting. But part of him was afraid that she will never come, that once she got engaged, she will throw herself into the world of nobles, plotting, planning, forgetting about him. But yet, here she was, with a strange, almost embarrassed smile on her face, slowly approaching him, playing with her fingers, almost like she wasn't sure what to do with them.

'Yes.' He answered, clearing his throat. 'There's something I wanted to... discuss.'

'Yes?'

'I...'

In this very moment Kayden realized how stupid was his idea and how naive he was, thinking that this one conversation, his one confession will change anything. Because they won't. No matter what he will say, she will still be Hector's fiancee, his future wife, Hunter's ally and a noble lady. While he? He will be the same simple, low-birth soldier, living always in her shadow, being the worse one, just a bastard, with no titles, no rights, barely having the lowest respect among those who were born into nobility.

'I... I wanted to personally congratulate you on your engagement.” He cleared his throat, lying, pretending not to see how her face fell at his words.

'Oh.' She looked down, at her dress, smoothening the non-existing folds. 'Well, I... Thank you.' She even managed a smile, hiding the disappointment in her voice.

'He's a brave, honorable and respected man. You won't have to worry about anything by his side.'

'I'm sure he does.' Another forced smile on her lips. 'And that's why you wanted to talk me to?'

'No. The truth is I wanted to tell you about my feelings, hoping that maybe it will change your mind and you will decide to throw your future away, just for me.' He thought to himself. 'But I was drunk with jealousy when I was sending that note and didn't think back then. Now it's too late to take it all back...'

'Kayden?'

'No.' He blurted out, before biting his tongue.

He could see a change in her mood at his words, disappointment being replaced by curiosity, when she took a step closer towards him, raising her eyebrow, waiting for him to continue. 'No, it wasn't.” He repeated. „I... Once you marry Hector, we probably won't see each other that often as we did for the last weeks... I won't always be there, to accompany you, to protect you. And... I just wanted you to know that...'

'Yes?'

'Even if I won't be there... I want you to know, that you will always have a true friend in me, an ally, someone you can always talk to, reach for help.' He looked at her and smiled weakly. 'I wish you all the best in your life, I hope you will find happiness you deserve, and you will never regret the day you agreed to marry Hector, but... If something, anything, would happen, know that... That I'm... I'm here for you Rose. Always. And forever.'

She was left speechless, looking at him with her eyes wide open, probably not expecting the words she had just heard. Was it disappointment in them? A dying hope, when she was wanting to hear something entirely different? Or was she moved, touched by the way he promised to stand by her side, no matter what? It was still a very poor excuse for a meeting at this hour, in a place like this, but... He had hoped she will believe that and he won't have to embarrass himself even more than he had already done...

'Kayden, I... Thank you. Knowing that, it... It means a lot to me.' She pressed a hand to her heart, smiling slightly and Kayden nodded politely.

'Consider this an engagement gift from me. And now if you allow me, I should go and...'

'And that's all you have to say to me?' She interrupted him, stepping closer, her gaze almost challenging him.

'Yes.' He lied. 'Because some things are better left unsaid...' He added, quietly, and not waiting for her response, he turned around, reaching out for a doorknob, ready to leave the room, ready to leave her and forget, as quick as possible about what he may have just lost...

'Don't you think we should talk about what happened?' Rose asked suddenly and almost immediately regretted saying anything.

She shouldn't have said anything. Shouldn't have shown that this little moment meant something for her...

She swallowed hard, her heart pounding in her chest and holding her breath she was waiting for Kayden to turn around. He finally did, slowly, very slowly, releasing the grip around the door handle and finally facing her, his surprised and puzzled gaze meeting with her eyes.

'And what happened?' He asked, almost innocently and if Rose didn't know him, she would believe him. But after everything they've been through? She knew that he was lying and at the same time knew exactly what she was talking about.

'You know what I'm talking about.' She took a step closer towards him, driven by sudden courage she didn't expect she had.

'Rose, I don't think...' Kayden shook his head, sighing heavily and never finishing his thought.

'When we were in the city...' she took another step towards him, 'sitting on the bench, near the river...' another step and another, being closer and closer to him, 'when we almost...'

Kissed.

No matter how much she tried, this one word couldn't leave her lips, her throat clenched by some strange emotions she couldn't explain.

'When we almost...?' Kayden repeated after her, silently, almost like he was daring her to finish this sentence, daring her to admit what both of them planned on doing back then.

But she couldn't.

She opened her mouth, took a breath, but after a few seconds she let out all of the air she was holding and her mouth closed, lips joining together and no sound escaping them.

She might have had her doubts before, not knowing if the moments between them were just her imagination or something real. She might have had doubted that glances he shot her weren't meant as anything more than just glances, it could have been just her imagination, when she was thinking that maybe the brush of his hand against her weren't accidental and it could have been just her illusion, thinking that she meant something for him when she caught him staring. But right now?  

She could still remember the rush of blood in her veins, the feeling of her heartbeat in her ears, when Kayden leaned down towards her back then, by the river. She could still remember the way her breath seemed to stuck in her throat, refusing to be let out, when his eyes swept across her face, with such an intensity... She remembered this strange heat, pooling across her whole body, when she felt his breath on her lips, his mouth being just millimeters from hers, their noses almost touching, eyes already closed, both of them in anticipation waiting for what was to come...

It couldn't have been her imagination, couldn't be her wishful thinking. He meant to kiss her, he wanted to do this. And if Teapot didn't interrupt them... Would it happen?

'Maybe it's for the best' Kayden said suddenly. 'That it didn't happen, it... It would be a mistake...'

'Mistake?' Rose repeated after him, her voice shallow, empty, when she tried so hard to hide the disappointment in her voice. Did it mean truly nothing to him?

'You're engaged woman now, Rose. Meant for Hector Nevrakis and if I... If we...' He shook his head again, almost like getting rid of the thoughts haunting him now. 'It would only complicate things...'

'But you wanted this. I wanted this. If Teapot wasn't there...'

'But he was. And maybe it was meant to be this way...'

'I thought you didn't believe in destiny? In blind luck? You said yourself you're responsible for your fate?'

Kayden opened his mouth and then closed them, defeated by his weapon, his own words used against him and he fell silent for a moment, his eyes escaping Rose's gaze, unable to look into her eyes.

What was he supposed to tell her? That he regretted Teapot coming? And interrupting them? That back then he wanted nothing more than to tell him off? To get rid of him and grab her into his arms, kissing the hell out of her? Was he supposed to admit to his feelings? He couldn't name even name them properly, unsure if it was already love or the beginning of it? Yet no matter how he would call them, those feelings, emotions, were there, refusing to go away. But there was also this little voice in his head, persistent, stubborn voice, repeating to him over and over again 'she's engaged, she's engaged, she's engaged...' She was engaged now, and most importantly it was the only way to secure the throne of his friend, his king. How could he allow for his feelings to destroy everything? How could he demand her to be with him when it would jeopardize Hunter's plans and his chances for success? He owed him everything, so how could he be the one to bring the doom on him?  

Rose kept on looking at him, waiting, for an answer, for a gesture, for him to do or say anything.

'You're engaged now...' He said, when nothing else came to his mind.

'To do man I do not love.'

'Does it change anything?'

'Yes. Yes it does. I told you before, he may hold my ring, but he will never hold my heart. As it already belongs to someone else...'

Kayden took a ragged breath at her confession and unable to resist anymore he looked down, his eyes meeting with hers. She was standing here, in front of him, her gaze revealing everything he had hoped to see, adoration, struggle, hope, love...

How much he wanted to give in... How much he wanted to forget about everyone and everything, and just hold her in his arms, pull her closer to his body and kiss her, finally knowing how it is to feel her lips against his... Yet once he will know their taste, will he ever be able to give them up? Will he ever be ready to never kiss them again? Will he be so strong to let her go, being left with only the taste of how it could be to be with her? Was he strong enough to try, knowing it will be this one time?

He opened his eyes and closed them moments after, swallowing hard, at the loss of words again, not knowing what to say. Yet, he was always told actions are better than words? He thought he was strong, but it turned out he just found his one and only weakness and a temptation he couldn't fight. Not anymore.

He took a step closer to her, reaching out to her, brushing away her long curls, until finally his hands placed on her bare shoulders. He could feel her shudder at the contact, his cold hands contrasting with her warm skin, when he moved his fingers higher, caressing the delicate soft on her skin right now. He could hear her drew a sharp breath at his touch, the rush of blood coursing through her veins palpable now under his touch, when he moved his fingers across the side of her neck, moving even higher, tracing the outline of her jaw and gently putting few strands of her hair behind her ear. His left hand moved to her back, slipping lower, until it rested on her waist, pulling her body closer to his, their chest colliding, pressed together almost impossibly close. Rose reached out to him, almost instinctively, placing her both hands on his chest, her eyes looking up at him.

They were like frozen for a moment, unmoving, just holding each other, their breaths hot and heavy, the air thick around them, full of unspoken tension, unfulfilled desires they wanted so much to give in into. Rose had her arms around his neck, fingers clenching on his hair, her body pressed against his, her eyes closed, in anticipation, waiting, hoping, silently begging him to do something that she wasn't brave enough of doing herself. She could still feel his left hand on her waist, while the right one was in her hair, playing with them gently. Yet they were both afraid of crossing that invisible line, that almost non-exisiting border, knowing once they cross it, they will be no turning back. Rose stepped on her toes, lifting herself, their breaths mixing now, her nose touching his, when she invitingly leaned her head to the side, waiting for his move.

Until finally all space between them was gone.

Their lips met, softly, gently, hesitantly, tasting each other for the very first time, the sweetness of her warm lips meeting with a roughness of his. And once they got the taste of each other, not one of them wanted to stop. Their lips met again and again and again, each kiss growing more urgent, more hungry, more desperate, almost like they were trying to make up for all these moments when they wanted to kiss so badly, but couldn't. If it's possible he pulled her even closer towards his body, arms closing around her tighter, almost like he was afraid that if he will release the grip, she will disappear, forever. They were a mess, a mess of hungry kisses, hands caressing each other's body, learning, trying, tasting, a mess of bodies pressed together, limbs tangled with each other, a mess of heavy breaths and silent moans escaping their mouths between the kisses.

Kayden parted from her, just for a moment, and before Rose had a chance to open her mouth and protest, he grabbed her, switching their places in one swift movement. She gasped when her back hit the wall, his body pressing her against it, not a single inch of space between them. He looked at her, just for a second, his eyes dark, hungry, shining in the dim lights of the cabin they were in, before he leaned down, capturing her lips into another kiss. Yet soon his lips moved, pressing a kiss to her nose, her cheek, the outline of her jaw when he was moving lower and lower, his lips touching the bare skin on her neck, leaving the trail of kisses there. A soft moan escaped Rose's lips when she cocked her head to the side, giving him better access, her fingers pressing harder into his flesh, almost like she was silently asking him not to stop, to continue and to do more.

It was madness, he knew that. It was crazy that they were here, hidden in the shadows, wrapped into each other's embraces like lovers; it was madness that instead of stopping this, he was still going on, satisfied with the effect his kisses had on her and unable to stop, wanting to taste more of her, as much as he could. He hesitated for a moment, lips hovering over the place between her neck and her ears, her earrings swaying slowly. Kayden was a man who always cared for the others, putting the good of them in the first place. Why, just this one time, couldn't he put his happiness first? Ignoring the thoughts of Hunter, of Hector, he took her earlobe in his teeth and pulled gently, her body trembling in his arms and another moan escaping her lips. She wasn't with any of them right now, she was here, with him, her arms wrapped around his neck and her body pressed to him, the sounds she was making caused only by him and for him only.  

He found her lips again, placing one kiss, two, ten, twenty, countless amount of kisses there, unable to stop, unable to tell himself it was wrong and unable to end something that was feeling so, so good.

And then, suddenly, it all stopped, as abrupt as it started.

They were breathing heavily, still clinging onto each other, lips swollen, chest heaving with heavy breaths and their eyes, meeting once again, with desire, with adoration, with longing and sadness, knowing that this one moment of weakness, one moment of pleasure was just a beautiful dream and now they had to wake up, go back to the harsh reality.

'Kayden...' Rose spoke up first but as soon as she did, Kayden sighed heavily, shaking his head.

'Just... We should forget about what happened here...'

'Kayden...'

'I know you wanted this, I know we both did, craved this, but...'

'Kayden!” She raised her voice and he finally looked down at her, noticing how pale she suddenly got.

'Rose?'

'I'm... I'm not feeling good...' Her words were barely a whisper and her body trembled, the hold of her arms around his neck releasing.

'Rose? Rose!' He repeated, helplessly watching as her arms fell, with no strength and her eyelids fluttered, unable to stay open anymore.

Whispering something under her breath, something he couldn't hear, she lost her consciousness, her body feeling like a material doll when Kayden held her, pressing closer to himself, before gently lowering her onto the floor.

She was pale, so, so pale when he gently placed her head onto his lap, stroking through her hair, repeating her name almost like a prayer, hoping that if he will keep on doing this, she will finally open her eyes. Holding his breath he put his two fingers to her neck, listening, sensing and after a moment he let out all of the air stored in his lungs with relief. She was alive. Her heartbeat was slow, weak, but at least she was alive, and as long as she was still breathing, her heart still breathing, there was still hope.

Kayden was already opening his mouth, ready to call for help, for a medic, but he closed them when he heard creaking of the door opening and slow steps coming inside the room. His head turned around, a relief spreading across his face at the sight of a familiar person. He was about to ask for help, but when he saw a wicked smile, spreading across her face, he knew, she wasn't here to help. She was here to gloat, to look at the victim of her treason.

'You...' Kayden's eyes narrowed dangerously.

'Ever heard of Cantarella?'