#my great grandmother had a lot of kids when he left her as well

[apollolewis]

Most of my dad’s side of the family is dead, both my grandparents died before I was born and my aunt died of polio when she was a kid. But I have quite a bit of cousins in Oklahoma that was unknown for a long time. My great grandfather had left my great grandmother and started a new family there. Really shitty behavior there. Not the craziest story about him, up until a few years ago we didn’t even have a photo of his face because my great grandmother scratched it out in almost every photo.

[megamett44-lover]

can you do the reader seeing matt with a little kid (around 5 or 6) and getting some crazy baby fever? thank youu <3

UGH I LOVE THIS

Matt Sturniolo x Reader

Summary: In which Y/n brings Matt to her family reunion

Warnings/Notes: She/her pronouns

Requested? Yes!

Dress Up

Bringing Matt home with me for my annual family reunion was insisted upon by my parents. My whole family absolutely adored him, always asking me to bring him around more. Hence why now, here we were, about a ten minute drive away from my grandparents home, where everyone would be meeting.

Having never met my extended family before, it was understandable for Matt to be nervous. He held my hand as he drove, lightly brushing his thumb over my knuckles every few seconds.

“You okay?” I ask, squeezing his hand lightly.

He looks over at me, trying to hide his nervous expression. “All good.” He says.

I nod, turning my attention back to the road. “You don’t have to stress, everyone is gonna love you.”

He chuckles. “If I can win your dad over, I’m sure I can do anything.”

I roll my eyes. “Please.” I say. “You never had to win him over. He was practically calling you ‘son’ before he even met you.”

“Right.” Matt laughs.

Siri breaks our conversation, telling us to turn left and our destination would be on the right. As we pulled into my grandparents drive way, a wave of nostalgia hit me. The long gravel path leading to an old white plantation house surrounded by the most beautiful flowers. I had helped my grandmother plant different flowers in her garden for many Summers when I was younger. The neatly trimmed hedges wrapping around the edge of the porch that my grandfather always insisted on keeping up himself because “nobody else could do the job right.”

I noticed many other cars parked out front, indicating a lot of my family members were already here. As we parked, I kissed the back of Matt’s hand. “Ready!” I asked.

“For sure.” Matt smiled.

As we walked onto the porch, the sound of laughter could be heard from inside. We didn’t even have a chance to knock before my grandmother opened the door.

“My Y/n!” She said, embracing me. “I’ve missed you so much!”

“Hi, Gran.” I say, returning her hug.

As we pulled away, she noticed Matt beside me.

“Now this must be the young man I’ve heard so much about.” She smiles at Matt.

“All good things, I hope.” Matt chuckles nervously.

I laugh. “Gran, this is my boyfriend, Matt.”

“Pleasure to meet you dear.” My grandmother says, embracing Matt as well. Pulling away, she smiles at us both. “Well come on, everyone has been asking for you.”

Walking instep with my grandmother and Matt slightly ahead, she leans in and whispers softly. “He’s handsome!”

“Oh, Gran!” I laugh.

“I’m serious!” She says. “If I was only 60 years younger, I’d give you a run for your money.”

As we walked into the crowded parlor, we were greeted by a chorus of “Hey” and “Welcome home”. A lot of family come up to me, since the last time I had seen most of them I was young. Most of them were eager to meet Matt, having heard I was dating a “famous Los Angeles boy”.

Excusing myself for a moment, I go grab a couple waters for Matt and I from the kitchen.

“Oh hey, Y/N.” My aunt says, seeing me enter. Her and a collection of other family members were working on tonight’s dinner, the smell immediately making me hungry.

“Smells great in here.” I compliment, grabbing two bottles of water from the fridge.

“Thanks!” She beams at me. “Oh, your cousins are around here looking for you. They wouldn’t stop talking about how excited they were to see you.”

I laugh. “I’ll keep a look out for them.”

My aunt and uncle had two twin girls, Charlotte and Katherine. They had just turned six and they were adorable. I had spent a lot of my youth babysitting them, resulting in me having an older sister relationship with the girls.

Walking back to the parlor, I notice most of the family had gone to the back yard. Scanning the yard, I cannot seem to see Matt anywhere. I grab my phone to text him, but then I hear giggling coming from down the hall followed by a deeper laugh that I recognize to be Matt’s.

Walking down the hall, I notice the light in the playroom is on. I hear a few voices coming from inside.

“We’re going to make you look so pretty.” I hear a young voice that I recognize to be Katherine’s says.

“Oh, really?” Matt asks.

“Yes!” Charlotte assures. “Y/n is going to love it!”

I peek in the doorway to the playroom to see Matt sat on the floor, with my cousins braiding his hair. I notice he has a few hair bows in, along with a feather boa around his neck.

I giggle softly, watching my cousins give him a makeover.

“Can we paint your nails?” Charlotte eagerly asks.

Matt looks down at his nails, the old paint peeling off of them.

“I think I’m in need of a manicure, so sure!” Matt agrees.

“Kat, grab the princess stickers and pink polish!” Charlotte demands.

Hearing this, I accidentally laugh too loud, giving my position away. All three of their heads whip in my direction.

“Y/N!” Charlotte and Katherine say in unison, running up and hugging my legs.

“Hi, girls.” I say, bending down to hug them. “I see you’ve stolen my boyfriend.”

“Don’t you think he looks pretty?” Katherine asks, motioning towards Matt.

“I think he looks gorgeous.” I say, making eye contact with Matt, who chuckles softly.

“We were going to paint his nails, do you wanna help?” Charlotte asks.

“Of course!” I say, eagerly.

“Yay!” Both girls say in unison.

Sitting down, we begin painting Matt’s nails a bright shade of pink, complete with princess stickers on every other finger. When we were finished, we slowly walk Matt over to the mirror to check out his new look.

“I look awesome!” Matt says, bending down to the girls level. “Thank you, girls.” He opens his arms for a hug, as both girls practically tackle him.

I smile softly, my heart warming at the sight.

“I think next time, we should bring our princess dress for you to wear.” Katherine says.

Matt laughs. “I think that would be amazing.”

“Yeah, but we have to bring the Cinderella dress.” Charlotte says. Katherine raises a puzzled eyebrow. “To match his eyes, duh!”

“What do you think, Y/n?” Charlotte asks.

“I think he would make a beautiful Cinderella.” I smile, causing Matt and the girls to laugh.

A loud voice interrupts our laughter from the kitchen.

“Girls, dinner!” I hear my Uncle call.

“Our dad wants us!” Katherine tells Matt. “But we’ll finish this makeover another day.”

“I’ll be counting on it.” Matt winks, ruffling her hair.

The girls laugh as they run down the hall to the kitchen. I look at Matt, who’s covered in glitter from the feather boa.

“I’ll be their Cinderalla, as long as I’m your Prince Charming.” Matt says, pulling the boa off.

I laugh. “God, you’re cheesy.” I grab his hands, looking at the pink artwork on his fingernails. “I can’t wait to have this life with you one day.”

He pulls me into a hug, covering me in glitter. “I promise, one day, we’ll have all of this.” He says. “Every day.”

I lean back, grabbing one of the braided strands of hair. “I’m really digging these braids, though.”

“Yeah?” Matt laughs.

“Yeah.” I smile, pressing a small kiss on his lips.

“Now c’mon, I’m starving!” I say, leading him to the kitchen.

Matt stops on his tracks. “What, dressed like this?” He asks.

I smirk. “What, you embarrassed?”

“Never.” He replies, putting his boa back on before we exit the playroom.

[4ft10tvlandfangirl]

You know what's incredibly upsetting? Seeing so many pro-Israel or pro-Zionist posts parrot that the only reason anyone could be pro-Palestine or call for a free Palestine is because they hate Jews.

I know what this tactic is meant to do and I know how making people apathetic, how discrediting their knowledge of a topic or questioning the genuineness of their empathy and other similar tactics are used to benefit the oppressive group but it's still pissing me off.

I am a descendant of enslaved people.

Our history lessons always begin with the slaughter & genocide of the indigenous peoples that were here first, primarily the Taino, who thankfully have a few descendants living in isolation along with the protected Maroon villages. It is normal throughout high school to take history trips to former great houses & plantations and see for ourselves the sites where our ancestors were brutalized and massacred; the weapons and tools of torture preserved and on display so that we knew but a taste of what they went through.

My university is built on the grounds of a former plantation. There are businesses and homes built on top of mass graves & on top of sites of slaughter. There is literally no escaping our colonial history because it touches everything. Our last names are not even our own! Most of us have English, Scottish and Irish last names given by the plantation owners to our ancestors. Or you know...because many children were the product of rape. We cannot accurately trace our true heritage more than 4-5 generations back because most families have no complete records.

A lot of you like to bring up grandparents. Cool. My great-great grandmother was the daughter of a mulatto free woman and a white Scottish sailor. She was white passing. Because land and work were hard to get here under colonial rule, she left the island for a better life with her husband who was a Cuban born mulatto and they ended up living in the US through WWII and after. They were considered an interracial couple (black & white rather than both being seen as mixed) and could not live in certain places because it was illegal. Papa couldn't find work, was treated horribly, because he had darker skin but Grandma found work passing as white and was treated much better. She worked 2-3 jobs to provide for them and their 5 children.

But, there were times when she would appear darker like if she was out in the sun too long or her curls would start to show and a Jewish neighbour/coworker suggested to her it might be safer to tick Jewish on forms rather than white if her race was ever questioned. I suppose due to that kindness the family formed friendships within the Jewish community where they lived & Grandma's eldest son actually married a Jewish woman. His kids and grandkids are all Jewish and they still live in the US.

I share this specific thing because I have very real concerns for those members of my family. But while I worry for them in this time of increasing anti-semitism and absolutely decry any verbal/physical attacks against them, I am still going to speak against things that are wrong. What Israel is doing is wrong. Of course as a non-Jewish person I can acknowledge I may misstep and if I say/do something that is genuinely anti-semitic I'll take the correction. But if your aim is just to intimidate me into silence it's not going to work.

And trying to tell me 'well black people are not welcomed there or black people wouldn't get treated well in Palestine' as if that affects the cost of bread. Guess what? Black people face racism everywhere. Even among our own and colonialism has a lot to do with that. That same grandmother, I was fortunate to grow up with her in the latter part of her life after she returned to the island and every time I went out with her there were questions of whether my family worked for her. Or why was I, this little black girl with this little old white lady as if I meant her harm. She had to say proudly, "This is my granddaughter." How other people view me or treat me isn't going to stop me from speaking up for what's right.

With the history of my people I could never ever ever side with the oppressor. Ever. Whether its here in the west or in the east, whether it's happening to my fellow black people, or any other group of people, I cannot in good conscience stand with the oppressor. My ancestors were forcibly stripped of their humanity, called savages, animals, barbarians and all of that was brutally beaten into them. That same language and similar acts of brutality are being used against Palestinians today.

You think you can cower me into staying silent on that? With unfounded accusations of hate? I refuse.

N.B. - my use of the word mulatto here is strictly to provide the historical context of how my grandparents were seen/classified and spoken of. It is not a term we use.

[blade-that-was-broken]

Soldier On

Getting that call felt like a nightmare.

Bruce owned a small resort on one of the islands in the state of Hawaii, running it with his wife, Brandy with their gaggle of kids roaming around. He was content where his life was and where he ended up. Good weather, great wife, a few kids. He didn't think he could want anything more. Well, granted, he wishes he had a better relationship with his brothers.

He left home practically the moment he turned eighteen. After his parent's divorce when he was about thirteen, things got difficult. They spent a lot of time with their grandmother and Bruce just could not wait to get out. His biggest regret was leaving his brothers behind with their mother. Their father had cut off all contact. Either that or their mother had. It didn't matter.

Floyd wrote letters but that was the majority of their contact. He started some kind of music career and seemed to be doing pretty well with himself.

Clay was in college, working on a Master's degree or something. Bruce wasn't entirely sure. Clay wasn't on speaking terms with him at all, feeling abandoned when Bruce fled the moment he could.

And Branch? Well, Bruce hadn't really heard from Branch since the youngest had moved in with Grandma. He'd have to be 16 or 17 now. Almost an adult. Almost ready to do whatever he wanted with his life. Bruce had no idea what that was.

And then there was John Dory, the forgotten one. He had been about fifteen when their parents divorced and their father took him in said divorce. They never heard from him again.

It was in the middle of the day when got the call. "Is this Bruce...."

"Yes?"

"This is LA Military Hospital. Are you related to a... John Dory?"

He hadn't heard that name in years.

Decades, even.

"He's... he's my brother."

"We haven't been able to find any contacts. We are glad to reach you. There is some news I have to tell you."

She had to tell him over the phone. Turned out, John had joined the military many years ago but recently had been severely injured in an explosion overseas. She didn't expand on the shape he was in but apparently soon he would be released and he had no where to go. Not that he would have argued but Brandy was with him when he was told and she told him to get him and bring him home immediately. She booked him a couple of tickets - one for him and the other for John - and told him to get him.

He wasn't sure if he had even mentioned John to her. He must have, right? Bruce had been thirteen the last time he saw JD. He didn't know what to expect.

He didn't expect to walk into a physical therapy center and having to ask which one of the severely injured men there was John Dory. He couldn't even recognize his own brother. He didn't expect to be shown the area and he didn't expect to see his brothers struggling to walk with only one leg. He didn't expect the all the bandages or the newly shaved head or the scar on his face.

"Sugar and cupcakes," John hissed in pain.

Oh yeah, that was JD.

The therapist he was with looked amused. "You have to be my only patient I have never heard swear."

"Force of habit, I guess... or nostalgia. Take your pick," John grunted.

"You must be pretty popular with parents."

"Their kids find it hilarious," John managed snarky grin. "Probably corrupted a few."

"You're doing great, John," the therapist smiled. "You are making a lot of progress."

"Maybe I should slow down then," he joked. "The sooner I can walk, the sooner I get kicked out on the streets."

"You don't have any family?"

"Tried finding them when I turned eighteen. Turns out, I'm no detective and finding cut off family can be harder than it looks."

"JD," Bruce called.

John's shoulders tensed. "I told you Mouth, not to call me that. Only my br..." he snapped, turning around. He paused and blinked, staring at Bruce.

"I know I look different than that 13-year old you used to know," Bruce started, awkwardly. "But uhm... the hospital found me? I guess? It's..."

"Bruce," John exhaled, staring at him.

"Yeah, JD," Bruce nodded. "It's me. Been a long time huh?"

[rogersideup]

Nice to be Kneaded

Nice to be Needed

Series Masterlist

Previous part: Inhale, Exhale Next part: Captain-what’s-his-butt

Word count: 4,465

Warnings: My blog is 18+ only. All minors or blogs without an age in bio will be blocked. Minors DNI. Descriptions of anxiety attacks and mental health issues.

Steve made sure to show up at your place at exactly 11 am. He wasn't sure what you had in mind for the day, so he settled for his usual jeans and t-shirt with a hat on his head and sunglasses in his pocket just in case.

When you opened the door, you welcomed him in with no hesitation. His first thoughts were about how trusting you continued to be. You had no more than three conversations with him. What if he turned out to be a murderer? A criminal?

Well... technically... he was a criminal. And a fugitive. And he did kill a few nazis back in his day...

But that was exactly his point. Of course he would never hurt you, but what if he was someone a little shadier, a little more rough around the edges?

As the day went on, he continued learning just how infectious that energy was. He found himself having to hold back even more personal information from you. None of what he told you to fill in the gaps of the life he once knew was a lie. He still couldn't lie to you. So instead he just gave you vague information.

And as you showed him around town, you started to learn more about him. At the coffee shop, you learned he used to serve in the military and work for the government, but a lot of the details were hidden behind walls confidentiality he couldn't break.

He told you at the earth history museum that he was a New York native, his mother and father were no longer around. At that same place he learned you recently lost your father due to an unfortunate circumstance, but your mother was still around to make sure all your choices were lining up to the big list of life long plans she made for you. You were raised in sunny California, but came here to start a life with an ex-boyfriend who had done you wrong. But you were settled, and uprooting once more seemed like too much of a burden. Greenwood sucked you in fast, and you didn't know if you could adjust to the fast paced California lifestyle again at this point in your career.

You asked more about his career as you walked him through the friendship gardens. His service was great for him for a while, but sometimes working so close to anything in the government made him question his own morals. He hated wondering if he was really doing the right thing everyday, so he left. You also learned that he was thirty-something years old.

Finally you led him to the prettiest park surrounded by even prettier views, and that's when he asked you for a rundown on everyone in the neighborhood just so he could be better prepared for when he inevitably meets the locals.

The summer sunshine on his skin was doing wonders to his mood that had been so sad and honestly depressing the passed couple of days, and you once again got this feeling that he really needed a friend. You were happy to sit in the grass with him and people watch as conversation continued to flow naturally between the two of you.

"S0, what got you into baking?" He asked sounding happier than you had heard him in the short time you've known him.

"I used to bake a lot with my grandmother when I was a kid" You explained. "My earliest memories of baking is rolling and cutting out sugar cookies with her, but if they weren't perfect she would make me squish them and try again."

"So I guess that explains why everything you make is so pretty" He pointed out, watching you run your fingers through the blades of grass.

"It's been conditioned into my brain since childhood" You agreed. "Then after that I guess I just found it interesting. There's so many different kinds of baking, and so many niche sets of skills within it that I just wanted to try and learn everything I could. If I didn't get something right, I'd squish it and try again until it came out perfect."

"Even as a hobby you'd squish the imperfect stuff?"

"Oh yeah, but that's what got me to where I am now. Plus, if you squish it in your mouth, it still counts as squishing it" You pointed out your loop hole.

"Ah, I see" He smiled. "Did this make you more afraid or less afraid of failure as an adult?"

"Let's just say my emotions get very squished when something doesn't come out right the first time" You put it gently with a giggle.

"That's such a cute way of saying you get upset" Steve laughed. "I'm going to start using that from now on. I'm no longer going to be mad, or sad, my emotions are just going to squish."

"I think that's the perfect description" You defended your choice of wording.

"I do too" Steve agreed. "Okay, so you liked to bake, and you created a whole tool belt full of different baking skills. What made you want to start the business?"

"I guess it just seemed like the obvious next step" You pondered.

"I'm sure opening up a place like that is a huge learning curve" he thought out-loud.

"If I could give up the whole business side of it, I would in a heartbeat" You giggled. "Payroll, health code standards, government regulation, employer protection laws... it's all so much to have to put into consideration when making the smallest of choices. Oh! And my taxes are a mess"

"But you're happy doing what you do?"

"It's a dream come true" You smiled. "It's stressful sometimes, but I wouldn't trade it for anything else."

"Mmm" he hummed in acknowledgment. His mind ran far away from him as a man walking his dog passed by on the sidewalk about 15 feet away from where they were sitting in the grass. His Iron-Man shirt caught Steve's eye, and his brain started to wander far away from the conversation.

Your eyes followed his gaze, and when they landed on the Tony Stark inspired street ware, the expression on his face became unreadable to you. At this point in the Captain America versus Iron-Man political split, you we're pretty good at guessing who chose which side then avoiding conversations about it like the plague.

Stating which side you supported so publicly usually elicited the reactions of strangers, either filling their faces with pride or disgust. You swore the nature of this town made the topic like a man hunt, as if someone's opinions made them a great person or a completely terrible person based on whichever side they chose. You'd never met anyone like you, willing to entertain both sides, and willing to understand that there was probably more to the situation the public didn't know and that maybe things weren't as black and white as the insufferably bored, small town and small minded folks made it out to be.

Maybe the borderline sad expression on your neighbor's face was a sign that he possibly felt similarly to you, but you were so exhausted over the constant opinions on the topic being thrown at you so you certainly weren't going to subject him to that either.

"What about you?" You questioned, causing his head to snap towards you.

"What?" He asked, trying his hardest to stay calm. Did you ask him something and he completely missed it? Please don't be about the iron-man shirt...

"Got any big career plans or are you happily retired?" You reiterated.

He visibly relaxed and thought about it for a moment. "I dunno..." he shrugged. "I guess this is the first time in my life where I've realized what I've always wanted and what I've been doing were two completely different paths."

"Well, maybe it's a sign to just enjoy life and whatever it throws at you for a bit." You suggested with a pleasant grin.

"Whatever it throws at me better be peaceful and relaxing for once" He agreed with a big lopsided smile. "Like, I don't know, a park ranger or a librarian."

"An artist! ... a baker?"

"If I was a baker there would be a significant increase of squishing happening" He shook his head.

"But you're an artist! I'm sure your creative eye could translate to something in the kitchen. Sugar cookie decorating maybe?"

"You don't even know if I'm a good artist" Steve laughed. "For all you know I could have the skill set of a toddler"

"You told me you went to art school for a year" You defended yourself. "You'd rather me assume that you had the skill set of a toddler rather than the talent of a person who studied art?"

"It's like the glass half full or half empty debate" He brought up.

"I always think the glass is half full"

"I tend think the glass is not half full, nor half empty. The glass is just is" He explained.

"I guess that's a more realistic way to view it" You pondered. "So rather than you being a beginner or an expert in art, you just are where you are."

"Sure, we'll call it that" He slowly nodded his head.

The two of you spent pretty much the entire day together, and yet when you got back home after leaving him with a friendly hug, something just felt off.

It took a warm bath and a glass of wine to figure out what was bothering you. However, once it was in your mind, you held onto it all night until the morning, all day through work, and an hour after you got home until Georgia got back from the gardening center.

She made you both a cup of sweet tea and sat with you on the porch swing as you vented. The hot summer air and warm breeze payed no mind to the setting sun, it wasn't going to allow the impending moonlight to calm the heat.

"Wait- so why were you hanging out with the hunk in the first place?" She asked, trying to digest all the information you spat at her at over a mile a minute. The slow swing of the bench beneath the two of you did nothing to calm your nerves.

"I was just trying to be friendly and show him around, I thought he could use a friend since all of this is so new to him" You justified.

"And that's the only reason?" She wiggled her eyebrows at you.

"...yeeahhh..." Your voiced raised in pitch.

"I don't believe a single second of that, but go on darlin'" She smirked.

"I dunno, every time I've seen him I get this weird inclination that I need to talk to him, and every time I do it's fine. He's easy to talk to, we have a few similar interests, he's really good about asking questions about me and seems genuinely interested in getting to know everyone here but the second I ask anything about him it's like he turns into this dull, flat, kind've lifeless creature." You explained.

"A creature, huh?"

"Okay, maybe creature is a little dramatic." You admitted. "I just don't understand how someone could go from a really outgoing chipper dude to the saddest lost puppy in the rain in the span of 2 seconds."

"Maybe he's a murderer" Georgia joked.

"Mrs. Georgia Peach, that is not very nice!" You shrieked, bumping her shoulder with yours.

"A stalker! Maybe, he's freshly divorced."

"Are you implying that a divorcee is just as bad as being a murderer or a stalker?" Your head slanted to the side.

"No, not by any means, Baby doll." She giggled. "My point is, we don't know even a fraction of what he might've been through to land him in a whole new town by himself. There are so many situations in which someone could shut down and maybe not be so trusting of people, he could just need some time. It really could be that simple."

"Maybe I just need to put my patience pants on" You sighed. "I know I probably sound crazy, but there's just something about him I can't quite grasp. I want to be his friend, and I'm trying, but he just seems so... sad?"

"If there's one thing I know it's that when you're in a bad place, you unintentionally push people away. Maybe slowly at first then all at once, but the people in your life who stand their ground and walk by your side are always appreciated. Keep trying, push him back very slowly. You'll get there eventually." Georgia brushed your hair out of your face. "But darlin' it's also important to remember that it's not your job to fix him."

Your track record of all your ex-boyfriends came flooding to mind when she gave you that reminder. Everyone who knew the insight of what your past relationship or two was like seemed to be rightfully concerned about who you chose as a partner going forward. "I know." You sighed. "But you know how I am. I love too much way too fast whether it be a stranger I just met or a dear friend of five years. I can't just let somebody that I know pass by without a second thought."

"I know, baby, and everyone who knows you is so blessed to have received a love like yours but not everyone can understand that it's a privilege and not something that they should be taking advantage of." She continued petting your hair, her hand made it to your shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. "You're sweet as pie, anyone from a million miles away could see that. Just make sure you're continuing to make yourself a priority when you're lovin' on everybody else."

"Of course I will." You gave her a reassuring grin. "Remember what I said? I'm happy on my own."

Life proceeded as normal for a few days. Quiet, but normal.

You found solace in your cozy bakery, humming along to the soft music playing over the speaker system as you sat at the decorator's long metal table, decorating sugar cookies for a custom order while your beloved employees prepared to close the store in 15 minutes.

Flooding inside the lines you made with royal icing, the cashier popped her head back in the kitchen that was only occupied by you.

"Someone is asking for you!" She chimed sweetly.

"Thank you! I'll be there in a sec" you looked up.

When you made your way out to the front, you saw Steven in his full glory. The one strand of golden hair that always seemed to have a mind of its own prevailed in it's efforts to never stay in place. Once again, his energy was low and he seemed awfully sad.

"Hey there, honey!" You smiled, even though you recognized that look in his eye. "How are you?" You asked as you walked out from behind the counter to greet him with a warm hug.

"I'm good. Sorry if this is a bad time, I know you guys are closing soon but I haven't seen you around in a few days so I figured I'd stop by real quick just to say hi." He explained.

You looked at the pastry bag in his hand, realizing he had already gotten and paid for a treat. "Not a bad time at all!" You reassured him. "Even if we're closed and you see a light on, just knock on the door and I'll let you in."

Just based off the way you were looking at him, he could tell you knew he was sad. The passed few days have been even more emotionally painful, and it was getting increasingly worse regardless of his effort to make it better.

He tried everything. He ran as far and fast as he could, numbly sat in front of a television playing romcoms, he bathed for hours, drew and painted, read and solved puzzles, but nothing was working.

After a shower, an anxiety attack, pacing around his house for about an hour while seriously considering turning himself in and making this crazy manhunt finally come to an end, he realized the one thing he hadn't tried yet was interacting with another person. So he grabbed his keys and came straight to the only place he knew he'd be warmly welcomed.

"Good to know" He attempted a smile. "What's that?"

He pointed at a big cardboard shipping box sitting on top of a wooden pallet, placed neatly along a wall.

"Oh! That's a new mid-sized stand mixer I ordered since our other one burned out. I went with one slightly bigger then the last and that's how it arrived a few hours ago." You giggled. The shipping situation really did seem dramatic for what was inside the box.

"And they shipped it like that?" He raised his eyebrows at the box.

"Unfortunately" You nodded. "I will say it's a lot heavier than it looks though. The box says 200 pounds so Michael and James from our street are going to come in tomorrow to help me set it up"

"What?" He questioned with an almost genuinely confused look on his face. "I can do it right now."

"... it's two hundred pounds, Steven." You reiterated with a giggle.

Failing to see your point, he handed you the pastry bag in his hands. "Hold my tart"

You took it from him without saying a word, and set it down on the counter before walking behind him towards the box. He bent over and put his hands on it, rocking it from side to side to find its center of balance.

"Oh gosh please be careful, don't hurt yourself" You nagged like a mom, and it actually brought a genuine smile to his face.

If only you knew the real kind've danger he put himself in on a daily basis...

He lifted the box without so much as a grunt or that silly face humans make when something is too heavy. "Holy shit... do you need help?"

"Where do you want it?" He asked, obviously amused that the two men you thought you needed to get the task done were now rendered completely useless.

"In the back, do you need help?" You asked again, and started walking to guide him to the empty counter space you reserved for the mixer.

"Nope, it's totally fine" He shook his head.

He didn't even look like he was struggling.

"Okay follow me" You shook your head in disbelief with a smile on your face as you led him into the kitchen as quickly as you could so he could set it down. "Right here, please!"

When he set it down on the designated counter and you went to grab a box cutter to get it out of the box, you came back still amazed. The two of you opened it up, and he lifted it out of the cardboard and set it where it belonged.

"Easy peasey!" He wiped of his hands.

"And I thought I needed two people for that!" You said loudly with amusement. "What the heck, man! You're ripped."

Steve laughed at your reaction. "What can I say? Moving all that furniture really got my arms in shape"

"No, there's no way that moving a couch made your arms that impressive" You shook your head with a laugh. "You're Hercules. There's no other explanation."

"You're once again giving me too much credit" He shook his head with a smile.

"No need to be humble, Superman."

"Superman isn't real" He rebutted sassily, waving a pointed finger in the air.

You stopped and thought for a second. "... I can't think of a real superhero now that isn't controversial at the moment so we're just going to settle on calling you Superman."

Even though you were being playful and happy as a clam, his mind immediately realized that you would probably hate him if you knew the truth. He couldn't just assume that your thoughts on the Civil War would side with him, and he needed to protect his heart.

Maybe coming here was a bad choice.

"Superman it is" He put on his front that everything was fine. "How about I'll get rid of that pallet in the front while you unwrap all this plastic?"

"No, honey, it's fine. We can take care of the pallet in the morning!" You denied. "You've already helped immensely"

"Please, I insist"

You sighed at the man before a shy smile smeared across your lips. "... thank you"

"I'll be right back"

He took the wooden pallet out from the store and to the dumpster in the parking lot, then made his way back into the kitchen where you had unwrapped the mixer from the plastic it came from and plugged it in. As Steve was washing his hands, you turned it on to make sure it worked, and the swirling sound brought a smile to your face.

"She works?" Steve asked.

"Like a dream" You confirmed. "Thank you so much for the help"

"Absolutely, if you ever need help with anything around here just let me know. I'm more than happy to help out whenever you need."

When you saw how his much his mood changed just from being able to do something for you, you had idea.

From that day on, Steve would come every Friday night to help unload the supply delivery. The 50 pound bags of sugar, flour, powdered sugar and brown sugar kept him occupied for at least half an hour. Especially since he insisted he would reorganize them every week to make sure the new ones made it to the bottom of the stack and the old ones would go on top.

Then it evolved into him staying with you way passed close to watch you decorate. It was fascinating to him, and he was genuinely interested. He'd sit right next to you and ask you why you did things a certain way, how you knew how to move your hand or pick out things like colors or sprinkles.

Soon there after, Friday nights turned into Friday and Wednesday nights. He'd come in after all the employees left and follow you around, you were more than happy to let him.

It was mutually beneficial, you weren't so lonely in the hours required to keep all the custom orders flowing out at the rate they were requested, and Steve finally had something to do.

Sometimes he felt a little bad just sitting there and having hours of conversation without as much as lifting his finger, so as he got more comfortable in your perfect little bakery he'd find things to do.

If you were doing something that required frosting or icing, you'd tell him exactly what color you needed and guide him through making it. He'd mix it all up and put it in the correct kind of piping bag for you, he even got really good at tying off all the ends so it didn't spill out as you squeezed.

Sometimes he'd notice a leaky pipe under the hand washing sinks or wobbling chair legs and he'd fix them up. If there were dishes in the sink that the bakers couldn't get to he'd do them no question. But when there was nothing to do, he'd chat your ear off and you happily listened. He was like your live action podcast, and you learned that Steven knew a whole bunch about a whole lot of different topics.

Nice to be kneaded became his little sanctuary away from home. He looked forward to the days he spent loitering in the shop, and when he got home he loved that his clothes always smelled like cookies.

You added Tuesdays to the mix when Steven asked you to teach him how to make something, anything really. He didn't know if it was because he actually wanted to learn how to bake or if he just wanted a reason to spend more time with you.

He grew to craving your presence on days your schedules didn't match up, and on those days his brain actually had room to think about the reality of what he was doing.

Every time he felt himself growing closer to you, he realized he was only hurting you. Eventually he'd have to go, and that day when you knocked on his door with nobody there to answer would be a hard one. You'd have to process that all the time you'd invested into him were nothing but lies. He knew this was going to end with you hating him, and he knew that would break his heart too.

As close as he was with you, he still wasn't nearly as close as he wanted to be. If his life was in order and his head wasn't always one wrong move away from being on a platter, you would've been swept off your feet by now.

Whenever you smiled and looked at him through your eyelashes, all he wanted to do was kiss it right off your lips. He craved to hold you in his arms, claim you all for himself. But for your sake and his, he stayed an arm's length away.

You deserved better than a fugitive, and you deserved better than whatever he could give to you in his current situation. You definitely deserved better than to be lied to by someone you were devoting so much time and energy to.

So given the circumstances, Steve was doing his best. Plotting ways to let you down easy when the time came for him to go. Maybe if he could fit it in whenever he inevitably needed to run, he'd find a way to tell you with his own mouth. It would be easier hearing it from him rather than a news story or a police report.

But he was sure he had at least a little while longer to figure that out, and he really hoped he did. Because if his time with you taught him anything, it's that he was happy moving around sacks of flour and mixing icing colors for you because it made both of you happy.

He'd tighten all the loose screws, reach every supply on the highest shelf, and barter with your supplier about the astronomical influx of egg prices just for you.

If he had to run as far and fast as he could to a whole different country in a far away place first thing in the morning, he'd always be reminded of the most important lesson you taught him.

It really was nice to be needed.

Next part: Captain-what’s-his-butt

Tag list: @patzammit @bemysugarbean @buckymydarlingangel @happinessinthebeing @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @differenttyphoonwerewolf @themotherof10 @talesofadragon @spikeluv84

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[rmoonstoner]

***

Poisoned Empanadas

***

Pairing:

Moon Knight (Jake Lockley) x Spider!fem!reader

Spider-Man 2099 (Miguel O'Hara) x Spider!fem!reader

***

18+

Warnings:

Violence, strong language, mentions of death, mentions of depression, sexual themes, someone gets hurt

***

Summary:

A wild Miguel appears once again!

***

Chapter 5 - Pizza Rolls

Yes. I said it. Pizza rolls to me are just little pizza filled Empanadas. My favorite kind are the big Great Value bag of them. Let me tell you about the homemade pizza rolls I made recently. I got puff pastry, then filled them with cream cheese and extra old aged cheddar, diced dry aged salami, diced habaneros, diced onions, homemade garlic pizza sauce, and then close them up, cover in garlic butter, sprinkle with parmesan, and bake on parchment paper for 15-25 min on 350.

***

Another week had rolled on by since that very explicit dream and you hadn't run into Miguel at all. Even when you outright asked the criminals on whether or not they had seen a jacked up Spider-Man, they genuinely looked confused and terrified that there was yet another Spider-Man, and this one was bigger than any of the others. It almost made you question his existence, had the wizard not kept asking if you had seen him again?

Every.

Damned.

Night.

You nearly lost hope on running into him. Maybe he found his way back to where he came from? Maybe he had to leave the city to find the thing he needed in order to do so?

Either way, you managed to get out to patrol for an entire seven days without seeing any sign of him. Perhaps he was busy, which was good. It was getting old being asked the same question every night. At least Peter had the decency to not ask about Miguel while in Stephen's presence. That would just trigger the doctor into playfully teasing you about it.

Thankfully, he hadn't asked about Miguel at all for today, come to think of it. Stephen had said Peter was there when he opened up a viewing orb to see where you were. Maybe Peter's little magic caffeine fit made him forget? Oh, who were you kidding, he aced his finals, so of course he'd remember seeing Miguel in the orb.

"Hey! Nice to see you!" Peter called out as you flipped yourself over the ledge to see only him at the meeting point. He was just packing up Gwen's bag that she had left the previous night.

"Hi! How are you?" You greeted him as he handed you a protein bar.

"Doing good. Since I did so well on my reports, I got a few recommendations from some of the professors. I showed them to Stephen, and told him I want to get my engineering and chemistry certification."

"So you plan on getting a doctorate?"

"Yes! I hope it makes Stephen proud. It's not the same kind of doctor, and it's more what Tony would have wanted-" Peter rambled a bit and you placed a hand to his shoulder.

"Stephen is proud of you. He'd be proud of you no matter what subject you pick. He would be proud even if you failed, because you tried so hard. You don't give up when it gets rough. He knows how much Tony meant to you and Tony wasn't one to stop achieving his dreams when he failed at something. You and Stephen share that drive, and it'll take you far." You said with a bright smile.

It wasn't a lie, because Strange talked about the boy a lot. He always asked how he was doing after a patrol, and he would be the one to do most of the first aid on the team. If he ever had to help Peter with an injury, the man would fuss while patching the boy up. Stephen would even be constantly mentioning how proud Tony would have been, had he been around to see Peter's achievements. The doctor almost sounded like a sweet old grandmother affectionately referring to her grandchild when he spoke of Peter.

"Thank you. That feels good hearing that from you." Peter replied as he cracked a grin.

"So… Does this mean I have to call you Doctor Parker? Or Doctor Spider-Man? Oooh! I know! How about Spider-Doctor?" You gently teased him. Peter burst out laughing while shaking his head.

"Absolutely not! It will be Doctor Parker, and then just the same old, friendly neighborhood Spider-Man." He chuckled with a wink.

"Ah, good. Though… What about Doctor Webs?!" You gave a laugh back as you tried to picture it. He laughed and shook his head. The both of you got ready to head out, suiting up fully and slinging away into the night as you kept roasting Peter on the names he could use.

***

Most of the night was pretty calm. There was a fender bender pretty early on and a guy needed to be pulled from the wreckage, so Peter had helped. You didn't have much to offer in assistance, so you sat perched up on a shopping market roof to watch him while you called an ambulance. When all was said and done, you left to go seek out other problem areas that might need some help. The small police scanner Peter had built into his wrist watch sure did help a lot, and it reminded you of Miguel's watch.

Another occurrence was a man being held at knife point by a local drunk. Peter and you managed to talk the guy down and check him into a local drop-in center for outreach help. From there, everything was good. Nothing was off, which was great. It was so great that you and Peter stopped for a bite to eat on top of Stark Tower. About half way through your sandwich, Peter's watch and phone went off. He picked it up to check and his face fell.

"What's wrong, Peter?"

"There's been a breach in the Stark Tower security systems." He grumbled as he jammed the rest of his food into his mouth and chewed vigorously. You huffed and opened your sandwich and hurriedly removed the good bits, shoving them into your mouth and discarding the bread and other bits you didn't enjoy much. You both chewed in silence as you wiped your faces and hands.

"What? But we are sitting on the building..?" You asked with a confused face as you opened a soda to wash your mouth out, then handed it over to Peter so he could do the same.

"Yeah… I suppose we should go check it out, then?" He suggested. How could you say no?

Since Peter already had official security clearance, it was easy to get inside. You followed him in and down to the lower levels. He didn't bother to creep about. He acted like he owned the place, which he kind of did now that Tony was gone. Peter glanced at his watch a few times.

"Looks like the disturbance is in the vaults." Peter announced as he pointed to another stairwell. His tech was telling him the breach was in the power core reactor vault on the main floor. It was separated from the one that powered the building, and that was underground.

Peter directed you to the stairwell and down the center of the spiral stairs. He chose to use a web rope, while you descended with a disk of light. Once at the main floor, Peter quietly peeked down a hallway and motioned for you to follow. You darkened your suit and dimmed the lights in the hallway slowly, while Peter made his way towards the vault room.

There was a clatter of sorts the closer you got. Peter was a bit nervous, his spider senses no doubt going insane as he twitched at any noise. Yours, however, wasn't going off at all. You thought that was odd, considering the threatening nature of the noises that you were hearing. Scraping and clanking to be specific could be heard, followed by what sounded like drawers and doors opening and closing rapidly. The occasional crash of glass tinking against glass could be heard as well.

Peter stopped at the door, a weak light coming from inside. You could hear someone grumbling to someone. A man, talking to a woman. Peter was opening the door as you realized the voices sounded familiar, and before you could tell him to wait, Peter was zipping inside to confront the individuals.

"I'd stop that if I were you. Mr. Stark might be gone, but this building is still owned by his associates." Peter said as he clung to the roof in front of a large storage room door. The noises suddenly stopped and a growl erupted from the room.

"Spidey, uh, maybe we should be careful-" You started to say, when a large metal box was hurled at him. Thankfully, Peter managed to smack it away in time.

"Not one for talking, huh? Are you the strong silent type?" Peter said as he fired off a warning shot into the storage room. A small crash could be heard as a bunch of things fell to the ground and scattered all over the floor and out the door. You hid in the shadows and got closer to the door as Peter dropped down and darted into the room after the noise.

"Friday! Spidey needs the rest of the backup lights off!" You called out. The noises suddenly stopped as that familiar voice went 'huh?' And a second later, and the lights went out.

A scuffle occurred. You could hear Peter get hit and grunt as he came flying out of the room and hit the wall on the other side of the room. You gasped when it registered. You heard the distinct sound of bone breaking and Peter hissing in pain.

There was another crash, so you turned and stepped into the storage room, seeing a dark figure smash a window and climb up into it. The moon light hit his form just right, and you could tell immediately that it was Miguel. He turned to look back at you, tilted his head, then jumped. You looked back at Peter, seeing he was getting up and rubbing his neck.

You had a choice. Stay and help Peter, or chase Miguel.

"Get that jerk, Galaxy-Spider!" Peter shouted as he huffed while leaning against the wall. His arm looked like it was bent the wrong way, and his voice was dripping with pain.

That fucking dick broke your friend's arm!

You saw red, and then in an instant, you were across the room, handing Peter your bag for anything he would need, before running to and jumping from the window that Miguel had escaped from.

As you hit the night air, you looked around, catching a glimpse of Miguel zipping up a web to the roof of the building you just left. You scowled and hissed as you summoned a circle of light and stepped on it. You braced yourself and sent it straight upwards towards Miguel.

When he turned his head to check if he had gotten away, he recoiled in surprise when he saw that you were only meters behind him.

He reached out and shot a web to the next building over and kicked away from the tower. He used the momentum of the sudden change in trajectory to rocket himself away. He was fast, like ridiculously fast for a large hulking mass of muscle. It made sense, Jake was slightly smaller, but the cabbie was pretty fucking fast. So, of course Miguel, with the same setup, would be faster since he was a Spider.

Right?

"Get your ass back here!" You demanded as you aimed at him and shot off a web. He managed to twist himself out of the way. In doing so, he landed against the building and sprang away from it to go to another across the street.

"Fucker! I swear to the Gods, if you make me chase you, I am not going to be a happy girl!" You called out while making a series of glowing lights appear to get to him. He had gained a fair distance, now being three blocks away.

You could do this. You had chased far worse things than Miguel. This should be easy for you.

One blob at time, but surprisingly quickly as you hopped, skipped, and jumped your way to the fleeing Spider. You gave chase for over ten minutes, drawing you far away from the Stark Tower and the Sanctum. You hauled ass and pushed yourself to catch up with him, each breath coming out in a rush.

Closer.

Closer.

Closer…

Your lungs were burning and your muscles were aching with the effort to get to him. You were angry and upset that he had hurt your friend, and had the audacity to break and enter the building that belonged to said friend. You had an idea of what he was looking for, and you even offered to help him, yet here you were, chasing a potential thief that refused any help.

When Miguel looked back, you were almost able to grab at his ankle. The panic was evident in his body language, and in that split second, he shot you in the face with his webs.

Everything went dark and you stumbled while trying to pull the web from your face. You lost your footing, slipping and falling off the light. A strangled squeak came from you as your head smacked against another gob of light. Dizziness filled you as you kept falling. The ground would soon meet you and you were sure it would hurt and do some major damage.

A whoosh of air hit your ears as you were suddenly grabbed and sent flying. It took a moment to realize you weren't falling, but now were being carried while swinging in the air. Large muscular arms held you tightly against a well sculpted torso. The heat from the man was radiating nicely and it felt safe and warm, even though a few moments ago you wanted to punch him in his stupid face. A few moments later, and Miguel was setting you down gently, but he didn't let go. He was holding on in an effort to avoid you lashing out at him as he removed the webs from your face.

Well, you didn't lash out. You stayed still while trying to control your breathing. Your mask was taken off and when you looked up, Miguel had already discarded his on roof you were on. He held a look of concern as he inspected your head, finding a bump, but otherwise everything was fine.

"You gave me a scare, there. You weren't supposed to fall."

"Well you weren't supposed to commit a felony by breaking and entering Stark Tower, then I am pretty sure you broke my friend's arm!" You snapped at him and Miguel let go of you and took a step back.

"I broke his shocking arm!?" He seemed surprised and his face melted into remorse.

"I am sorry. He was trying to stop me from getting the information I needed, and he shot a web at Lyla. She's all I have left. I didn't mean to hurt him. I'm still getting used to these powers." He stammered as he showed you the lack of pockets and anything on his person, but the watch. You sighed, but still had to ask.

"Did you steal anything?"

"No! Well, uh, just the information I needed. I swear, I didn't take any of those glowing core things." He said and turned around.

"See? And no, I didn't put anything up there." He indicated to his rear, and it drew a small laugh from you. You cleared your throat and stood up.

"Well, you need to come back with me. Tell P- Tell Spidey that you're sorry and that you didn't mean to cause any harm, though you clearly did, you big brute. If you don't, the wizard will make your life really fucking hard." You scolded him and pointed back towards the tower. Miguel frowned as he looked down and sighed.

"Fine. I'm sorry I ran."

"Good! Now I'll just shoot him a text and let him know I am on the way back with you." You muttered while going for your pack. You froze when you remembered handing it to Peter.

"Ah, shit. I can't. I forgot I left my bag with him. Well, you're gonna just have to watch your back while we go."

***

By the time you got back to the tower, Peter had already called Stephen in. You could tell they were there because there was a warm orange glow of the portals he was so fond of. You had to check and make sure Miguel didn't just fuck off, which, thankfully, he didn't.

As you approached, you could see Stephen bent over Peter. He was fixing up his arm with magic and making sure Peter was alright when the lad sat up and pointed at you and Miguel.

"That's the guy!" Peter said as he jostled forward a bit and winced. Stephen smacked him lightly on the shoulder.

"Stay still. The last thing we need is you distracting me while I am trying to set the bone back into place!"

"But, Stephen, the guy that broke my arm is right there!" Peter argued with a whine.

"Settle down. I know he's there. I can clearly see him." Stephen said as he twisted Peter's arm suddenly. A loud crack was heard, and Peter gasped and almost threw up.

"But you're not even facing him…" Peter protested quietly. Stephen huffed and pointed up to his forehead and Peter went quiet. He didn't bother asking how he could still see Miguel, when that eye wasn't even facing him. He knew it was magic and left it at that.

"Heya, doc. I found the guy. Brought him back. He's willing to apologize and explain himself." You said as you motioned to Miguel, then to Peter.

"Good. I look forward to hearing about why he's caused such a fuss." Stephen stood there looking at everyone with his arms crossed. He looked mad and annoyed. Of course he'd be.

Miguel was nervous. He was shifting from one foot to the other as he looked at Peter.

"I, uh… I am sorry for breaking your arm. I… I am also sorry for breaking into this building." He glanced at Peter, then at Stephen, before his eyes landed on you.

"Okay. Cool. Apology accepted. Now, please enlighten me as to why you broke into my building?" Peter asked while Stephen started using magic to speed up the healing process.

"Your building?"

"Yes. This is my building."

"So that makes you Peter Parker, then." Miguel said as he motioned to the room around him.

"The man that Tony Stark left all his technology and businesses to. Wow. That's wild. You're so young." Miguel looked at you and huffed.

"You could have told me that, you know. I wouldn't have broken in here if I knew that this place belonged to your friend." Miguel complained and rubbed his face.

"You're a dick. I offered to ask my friends for help, but nooo, you said you wanted to do it all by yourself!" You said and threw both hands over to Peter. Peter was perfectly fine by now, Stephen's spell having worked its magic and fixed what Miguel had broken.

"I said I could have asked, and yet, you declined and ended up hurting my friend. I think you owe me an apology as well Miguel!"

"You're right. I'm sorry. I should have asked for help. I should have accepted your offer."

"Okay. Enough of this garbage. Can we go back to the Sanctum? I really need to finish this book I borrowed from Wong." Stephen spoke up and started walking through the portal.

"You're not going to punish me?" Miguel had a look of surprise on his face.

"No. That's for Peter and her to decide. I have enough shit to deal with already. Besides, you're a Spider-Folk. That's their jurisdiction." Stephen announced and then he went straight to sit at his desk with his book.

"Let's get going. You know how much he hates waiting." Peter whispered to you.

You nodded and looked at Miguel, curling your finger in a silent command to follow. Miguel hung his head in frustration as he followed on through. Once inside the library, the portal closed up behind you. Peter was the first to fling his mask off and flop into one of the arm chairs by the fireplace. You took yours off as you sat in the love seat and laid across it.

Miguel awkwardly looked at the other leather chair and sat down. From this angle he could see everyone, and he noticed the wizard's third eye was staring at him through the reflection of the mirror up on the wall beside him. That was unnerving, so he turned to look at Peter. The boy gave him an obnoxious smile as he looked Miguel over.

"That's a weird choice in a suit. You look like you're wearing a child's costume. I can see some of the seams are ripping." Peter quipped and you giggled.

"Look, my outfit was poorly planned in the time that I had." Miguel huffed and rolled his eyes as he relaxed into the chair.

He was spread eagle with the way he sat, and your eyes wandered down. Just a peek, right? What could it hurt?

"Hey, doc! Can ya fix up his ugly suit?" Peter glanced at you as he called out to Stephen.

You looked away as you blushed, Miguel eyeing you carefully as he crossed one leg over the other. Stephen grumbled and flicked his hands towards Miguel, and his suit resized and darkened with textures that weren't there before. Strange went right back to reading, but he was eavesdropping, ready to spring into action should Miguel blow his top.

Miguel's reaction was an undignified squeak and a grunt as the new suit formed around him. He stared at the gloves, noting the rubber like pads on the fingertips and the slits at the tips of the fingers for his claws. He got up and went over to the mirror and gawked at himself, twisting right and left as he looked at the professional fine detailing of the fabric patterns. Miguel looked like he was wearing boot shaped socks.

He didn't know what to say as he looked at you in the reflection of the mirror. You had been staring at him, eyes looking right at his impressive looking legs, looking up to his nice tight ass, then up his back to his shoulders, and finally to his eyes. You blushed and bit your inner cheek as you smiled at him. He winked at you and then turned to thank the doctor.

Miguel explained who he was, where he was from, and when. Stephen quietly listened, while Peter kept interrupting him to make a joke or a remark about something, like if he really fell into a dumpster, or if you had pushed him. It took about an hour to explain himself in what only took ten minutes to you privately. Stephen decided Miguel wasn't a threat, and offered to let him stay, but Miguel was very adamant about having a hotel room and that he didn't wish to be a burden.

Stephen wasn't having any of it. He refused Miguel's excuses and he showed him to a room, claiming he owed his son at least one day and night of his time for the inconvenience of temporarily breaking his arm. Miguel relented and followed Stephen to the room, and you didn't hear from him all night.

***

Series Masterlist

***

Note:

Sorry Peter. Miguel is really sorry.

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[csuitebitches]

Hello~

I hope you're doing well!

May I ask you a few pieces of advice, please? Reading through your blog, I've discovered that you're Asian with Asian ancestry, and after some thoughts I've come to the conclusion you're the best person to ask. I'm Slavic woman (Eastern European) married to an Asian man (Chinese), exactly how you described, in Asia it's more a marriage between two families, meanwhile me and my husband married for love. In fact, his parents "consented" to our union, only because 1) I'm a good-looking woman 2) he was so stubborn in his feelings and argued whenever someone had something bad to say 3) I'm respectful, accommodating, and listen to my husband 4) good at cleaning, it's important to his father since he's traditional.

But sometimes, drama happens, mostly from his mother-in-law (his father's second wife), always manipulating and saying stuff as, it was better if he married a wealthy Chinese woman, someone who's good at running a business etc.

How can I stand up for myself or just manage these kinds of situations? The only solution seems to be to just take the risk, and do business, so they could finally stop finding faults. Furthermore they don't know, but I come from a wealthy family, but got disinherited by my mother for saying no to an arranged marriage.

Thank you in advance for your time, help and insight, I'm really grateful. Have a wonderful day and take care of yourself!

Hi there love. I’m sorry to read this. Asian families can truly be both a boon and a curse.

the reality is that your in laws will have an issue regardless of what you do. You could start a business, they could still have 10 horrible things to say to you. You could choose to look after your husband and your home, and they’ll still say awful things to you.

here’s what you should do in my opinion. And this advice comes straight from my mother.

my mother came from a middle class family. My father is a self made man, who made a fortune. They had an arranged marriage. My grandmother (my father’s mother) was really awful to my mother. She wouldn’t even let her touch the cutlery in the house. She had a problem with everything my mother did - with the way she raised her kids, what her career was, everything. She would bitch about my mother in front of us kids, she would say nasty things to my extended family. She told my maternal grandmother (my mum’s mum) that she was sure that if she was on her deathbed, my mother would never care for her. Maternal grandmother was SHOCKED and snapped and told her that her daughter was raised with better values.

my grandfather on the other hand, loves loves loves my mother, as though she was his own daughter. Praises her everywhere he goes. But that’s beside the point.

here’s what my mother learned.

She cannot control her mother in law. MIL is stubborn, ruthless, cunning. It all boils down to one thing - insecurity. Insecurity of never being good enough, smart enough, never was able to control my father (he left home because issues with her), and my father gave my mother the attention she deserved.

MIL was very possessive of my father. Asian Mums 90% of the time have a weird incest relationship with their sons. They cannot let their sons be happy with anyone. Your husband seems like a great guy, standing up for his wife. The support may not heal your hurt, but I’m sure it does a lot of good by having him on your side.

regardless of what she did, she knew she would be criticised anyway. So she did what she liked. She was a stay at home mom till I went to school, then she got two masters degrees, got herself involved in a business, has her own clients, has her own name. Even when she became successful, MIL still bitched about her. But you know what else happened? People began coming up to my grandparents and telling them what a wonderful person my mother is. MIL obviously couldn’t bear the criticism but FIL loved it and cherished her even more. She won her FIL’s respect. To this day he sings her praises even to me.

some fights are not worth it. MIL would sometimes antagonise her over small things, just to provoke her. My mother would simply stay calm. Eventually even the extended family realised that my mother had gone through a lot.

she remained emotionally detached with MIL, but she took care of her when she had cancer. She looked after her, proving MIL’s words (“she’ll never take care of me on my deathbed) absolutely wrong. And she did that out of kindness. She did that because SHE was a nice person, not because MIL deserved it.

do what your heart wants to do. The more you live life to gain approval from someone else - someone who may never give it to you - your life will be miserable. The only way to fight these horrible MILs is by standing up straight, being decisive, being able to say no and hold your ground. She has to respect you as her DIL, regardless of what you do. You will not earn her respect by trying to be someone you’re not.

If your FIL is more accepting towards than her - Build a relationship with the FIL. Forget about the MIL, she’s going to be jealous and awful, and I highly doubt such women ever change. Half the time, they behave in this way because that’s how THEIR MIL’s treated them. MIL’s MIL treated her awfully as well - the former was scared shitless of the latter. She repeated the same pattern with my mother, but my mum was too strong to let MIL bring her down.

If you want to be on good terms with your in laws, focus on the father. Be the daughter he never had (even if he has daughters). But do it because you WANT to, not because you HAVE to.

Such women are simply insecure. Insecure to a point where they must hurt other women because it genuinely gives them joy. Do not let her words affect you whatsoever. And do not live your life by her terms. Focus on being a good person to yourself and your husband.

[aleksa-sims]

RL Simself Story ( 18+)

CW: Pregnancy, Babies, loss, blood

Another day at my grandparents drew to a close. After Dilek made her way home, N. and I got in a discussion. Not about her, it was about Alex, Daniel's Brother. 😔

Alex wrote me a letter, bcs he couldn’t call me. Daniel was against it! However, Alex mentioned a date in his letter. He wanted to see me! He said/wrote, he will wait for me in front of my and Daniel’s apartment on that particular day. I really wanted to see Alex!! I wanted to know what’s going on with Daniel and why he left me??? But as you can imagine, Nico was against it. Which was totally understandable!! That’s why I tried to talk to Nico about it. N. didn’t forbid me, but he let me know, he was disappointed in me. 🙁😞

He didn’t want to start a fight and just went over to M.’s room, while I cleande up our dishes in the kitchen. Nico asked M., what's wrong with Ana?? Why's she avoiding me?? So my Cuz told him what happend between Ana, Adam, Dennis & me in their dorm a few weeks ago. Yup! "Agh, thanks, bro!" 🤦‍♀️😒Such a moron!

Anyway! Now I'm gonna tell you about the dress I found in my room this afternoon. I thought it was my Mom’s! I really loved that dress! I felt so pretty in it. But my Grama seemed to hate it? I had the impression my Grama didn’t want to tell me exactly what she had against the dress I was wearing? She just said it's hers, not my Mom's!! And well, before I went to bed, I wanted to try to talk to her about this thing again in peace. She just came out of the bathroom. My Grampa was still sitting on the couch in the living room, watching a western movie. 😄He and his bloody, old, western movies. 😆😆Agh, I hated them!

Back to that dress. I entered the bedroom. My grandma was expecting me. She knew I had questions and was ready to talk to me about it.

My Grams was born and raised in Italy. She had three siblings! 2 Sisters and a Brother. When my Grams was 16, she went to Greece with one of her sisters, who's 2 years older than her, to work there. They worked in a hotel. And just a year later, she met my Grampa. My Grams was able to learn some Greek. But together with my Grampa, she learned the language relatively quickly and so they fell in love with each other. After spending over a year in Greece, my Grama decided to marry my Grandpa. He asked her and she was also pregnant. Her parents agreed, as long as my Grams had someone to take care of her. My Grandma's family didn’t have much money. My great-grandmother had lost an arm while working in a factory. That’s why she couldn’t work anymore.

Anyway, my Grandma was happy in Greece with my Grandpa .They lived in my Grampa's house which belonged to his Parents, who also lived there. My Grama and Grampa wanted to save money together to move out, so they both worked a lot. Even though my Grandma was pregnant, she worked 12 hours a day. She wanted to, and she felt good, so she just kept going. But when my Grams was 8 months pregnant, she suddenly got contractions during her shift at the hotel. She had to go to the hospital immediately! Something seemed to be wrong. She was bleeding. At the hospital, my Grandma found out she was having twins!!! She didn't know! No idea how her gynecologist could miss this, but my Grama told me that she was not often at the doctor at that time. She only had an ultrasound once! She didn’t take this so seriously. She was only 18! And her doc just said, she is young and strong, so it's all gonna be fine. However,my Grandma lost a lot of blood during delivery. She almost didn’t survive, she became unconscious, she said. She doesn’t remember what happened? She only knew, she was in a beautiful place, while the Doc's struggled to save her life. Everything felt so peaceful and wonderful. She wanted to stay there. She walked through a green meadow where two small kids suddenly ran towards her. She immediately hugged and kissed them. The three of them had a wonderful time on this beautiful meadow. They laughed, danced and played. My Grams was so happy. She didn’t want to leave this place. But after a while, the two Babies had to say goodbye to her. They told her, she had to go back home. My grandma didn’t want to, she asked, if she could stay there?... The Babies hugged her one last time, telling her not to worry about them. One day, they’ll see each other again, right here.

Then my Grama woke up and found herself in a bed in the hospital. She knew, her Babies didn’t survive 😟😢 ...... She told me, that she was not immediately sad as she woke up. She was rather disappointed, because she had to leave that beautiful meadow. A few days later my grandmother was back home. At home, she realized what had actually happened. She lost her Babies. 😔

And this dress I found, my Grandma loved when she was pregnant. Seeing me in that dress scared her, because I was pregnant too. She didn’t want to tell me, not scare me. And secondly, she knew that when I learned that she had twins, it would only make me more insecure. My pregnancy was unplanned, what if I have twins too?? So yes, it actually worried me.

Me: Was Grandpa nice to you? I mean, was he good to you? 😟

Grams: Yeah, he took care of me. Don’t worry about me, it’s been over 40 years.... In summary, I can say.... yes, your Grampa was a good man. It wasn't allways easy with him. You know how much he loves his beer. But thanks to me, your grandpa is not a drinker! No matter how long he was out at night with his 2 brothers and buddies. Every morning, I kicked him out of bed to go to work. But when it came to you kids, I could always rely on him... I know you’re still sad about Daniel. I heard you and Nico talking, but ask yourself a question, A.! How will it be in a few months? How do you imagine your future, not your present!! Now everything may seem uncertain and you are sad. You miss & love him. And if you weren’t pregnant, I’d advise you to wait and see about your marriage. Fact is, you don’t know why Daniel decided to leave? Maybe he didn’t see another way? Daniel is a calm, introverted guy. I think he kept a lot of things that bothered him to himself. In addition, he has never learned otherwise. He never really had anyone to... take care of him. Now it’s too late what his parents are trying to make up for. He doesn’t trust them, he generally has difficulty opening up. I think that’s why he couldn’t talk to you. I just want you to understand, that it wasn’t your fault. You can't fix in those few months you were with him, what went wrong for him in the past. And now that you’re pregnant, I doubt you and Daniel have a chance anyway. This will make it all the harder for him, to trust you. That's how things are rn. This is your current situation and you have to decide how you want to continue. Of course, I can’t tell you what to expect with Nico. But one thing I think, I can tell you! No man, no matter how much he loves you, will love your child as much as his Dad does. Daniel would probably try, and if he makes an effort, maybe he’ll be a good Dad for your Baby. But it’s Nico’s Baby. I know you had your struggles with him. But I talked to him last night. And in my opinion, you can rely on him. He’ll give you everything and he loves you. But most importantly, Nico doesn’t do drugs, bella. I know you don't wanna hear that, but this one important detail, is actually enough, to make the right decision, for you and your Baby.

Me: Why do you think I didn’t decide? I'm so happy with N. rn. I really want this with us! But..... yes! I'm still very sad about Daniel. I’m afraid to divorce him. I don’t wanna hurt him. I always feel like I’ve done something wrong, Nico and I, it feels like cheating.... You believe in God. Do you think someone wants to punish me for all I’ve done wrong? I don’t want my Baby to pay for my mistakes.

Grams: God does not punish, he forgives! That’s what it’s all about! Forgiveness. You have to forgive yourself, A.! But you did nothing wrong, honey. You were sad, felt abandoned, alone & broken. And Nico was there. You might think, he was there at the right moment. Where would you be now, if Nico hadn’t come back to your life? You can be honest A.! I’m not gonna be mad. I think I know what happend.

Me: I-....I’d probably be high with Dennis somewhere.

Grams: Who's Dennis?

Me: I met him at Ana's dorm.... We did drugs together. I even almost slept with him, even though I only met him a few hours before that. 😢

Grams: Come here.... You'll be fine. I'm gonna take care of you and your Baby. You're not alone... I'm there.

Me: Yea...... thanks... I'm going over to N.

Grams: Don’t tell Nico what you just told me. He doesn't need to know that.... You two have to get along with each other now and not fight. I think N is the guy for you. I'm pretty sure. And don’t forget what I said, think about the future, not the past. Tomorrow morning, I’ll remove all your wedding photos, you do the same thing in your room. That's rude to N. He didn’t do anything wrong, he was only there for you and I’m glad he’s back with you.

Me: So sorry about your Babies. I won't keep that dress. 😭

Grams: Oh, honey. It's ok. Please don’t think about my twins anymore. It's.... all fine. Afte all, just 2 years later, I got my boys and so you, your sister and M. That’s more than I ever dreamed of.

Agh, this was a lot! Sorry. But everything that has now been mentioned in the conversation between my Grama & me, will become a topic soon.

Previous/Next

[serialkirah]

i'd like to tell a story that not a lot of people in my life know about

it's about how the anti-trans movement and a family business ruined my relationship with my grandparents.

so, i'll start at the beginning, and i'll try to make it brief, but it's all kind of important.

my grandfather started a business when i was born, in 1997. it took quite a few years until it took off. it was a lot of hard work. i won't say exactly what it is, because then this post loses it's anonymous touch, but it's a farm that sells something unique (not weed, ok).

when i was growing up, i begged my grandfather to work there. i wanted to make money, and i wanted to spend the summers at my grandparent's house. they finally let me work there when i was 12.

back then, i was a little girl in a workplace dominated by men. there were porn calendars in the lunch room, even. i fell behind a lot, as most of the men working there were tanks, but i liked doing my part as there were really only four of us back then. i worked every summer.

i liked spending time with my grandparents. my grandfather even back when i was a kid always had white hair - the stress of running this farm sucked all the pigment out of his hair. he has a dark skinned tone, a gruff look about him, and he's fairly short (as the rest of his family, myself included). he's the type of guy who loves being outdoors; clearing the land, hunting, fishing, tapping maples, landscaping - that kind of thing.

my grandmother has always had dark brown hair, and even now looks fairly young for a grandmother. she keeps her hair shoulder length, usually tucked into a ponytail, wears the same black tshirt and capri pants or blue jeans almost everyday, and she's always been into interior design, decorating, flower arrangement, crafting and gardening.

i loved doing things together with them. i could be outside all day burning grass with my grandfather, then spend the evening painting furniture with my grandmother.

my manager at the farm was my uncle, my grandparents son. he was my favourite person, and he was such a great boss. he was this tall, big guy who always wore a leather vest, black t-shirt, and ripped cut off blue jeans and these huge black boots. he was a metalhead, so intelligent, and effortlessly funny and charming. i grew up without my dad in my life, and at some points during my childhood, my mom and him lived in the same building and shared a car, so he's always been someone i was close to. in 2007, he had a baby, and at some point, since my baby cousin and i were always together, i had begun calling him "dad" - i even called my own mom "auntie" a lot! not all the time, just when i talked to my cousin. he's sort of a sibling, more than a cousin.

as the years went by, my uncle relied on me even more. i became his assistant and began helping him with the business side of the farm. my grandfather sat me down when i was about 16 and asked if i'd like to take over the farm. his son didn't want to take it over, and i seemed competent and interested. i decided to go to college for this very niche industry, and to do that i had to go away to the only college in my country which had a program dedicated to it.

the year i left for college, my uncle died from a heart attack. my whole family was devastated, my cousin was left without a father, and my grandparents never really got over it. he was their golden boy, the guy they relied on to run the complicated side of their business, and it took a toll on their personal lives as well as their business. my grandparents took custody of my cousin.

it was difficult to overcome the deep depression i experienced after his death, and i even neglected my studies that year. it was like losing a parent to me. if it wasn't for the friends i made in college, i probably would have had a much harder time. but i obtained a graduate certificate in 2019, in the end.

around this time, i also came out to my grandparents as transgender. i was starting my transition from female to male, and i wanted them to be aware it was happening. i've been out to them since 2017, and to my other friends and immediate family i've been out since 2014. they took it like the average grandparent would, confused and uneducated, but they managed to swallow their opinions and accepted that it was going to happen. it did involve me striking for a few months, but they eventually needed my help when the pandemic started, and they asked me to come back to the farm. i assumed the position of manager. i moved into company housing, just down the road from work, and began working full time.

it was a difficult adjustment to become assistant manager to a manager that had passed away and didn't leave instructions. even though i had gone to school for this specific industry, i hadn't gone to school for business administration, so i was essentially taking over business duties with no training. i had to teach myself a lot, or learn from other colleagues. my grandfather was a knowledgeable man in business and farming practices, for sure, but when it came to technology, accounting, traceability, compliance, human resources, auditing, inventory, resource management; he needed help. even though i became his right hand man during this time, running the business alone for a few years took a severe toll on his health and in the beginning of 2020, he was diagnosed with cancer.

he had to take an extended break while he was receiving treatment. and i was there to take over his duties. even before he took a break, i was doing everything from audit prep to inventory tracking, environmental data collection to representing the company at conferences, media appearances to health and safety training, guided tours to project management. now, i was also in charge of all daily operations, scheduling, communication, and a team of eleven people. on top of that, i joined a board of directors for an association related to my farm. the very business that turned my grandfather's hair white in just a few short years was now turning my own hair white at 23.

that's all to say - i think i was doing very well. my coworkers and i got along very well, and everything always moved smoothly. but enough was never enough for my grandparents, and i was constantly berated for everything i did.

i think the stress of losing their son with the addition of the cancer diagnosis caused a negative change in my grandparents. over the course of three years, the same people who i loved spending every summer with became aggressive, argumentative, sarcastic, mean-spirited. i started spending more time at my own place rather than eating supper with them almost every night. i skipped afternoon coffee and long talks with my grandmother, because i couldn't stand listening to her increasingly manic religious rants about how nobody has morals these days, they just do whatever they want. i stopped talking about anything other than work with my grandfather, because he started becoming increasingly aggressive and indignant whenever he wasn't caught up on daily activities at the farm, and especially so when i had everything handled correctly. he was able to overcome his cancer, and was declared cancer free. he decided to rebuild his house, so he still took time off, but would still come to the farm to get angry about this or that.

i was becoming so stressed that i would call my mother every other day to seek advice. i started to wonder if my grandfather was ever going to retire and let me run the business without his constant surveillance and micromanaging. i was so stressed that i started psychotherapy to attempt to balance both my emotions and career.

then, i fell in love with the girl that worked at my local coffee shop. i had asked her to hang out as friends at first, but she was the one who kissed me first. we began dating in january of 2023, and she changed everything. she was there to help me understand that getting screamed at everyday for unimportant things wasn't normal. that working 7 days a week for three years with no days off wasn't healthy. that forbidding me to take time off to see my friends, do anything fun, or even spend my free time making art was incredibly fucked up.

finally, in the spring of 2023, my grandfather dropped a bomb on me one day. i had mentioned to him that i was doing really well with the mutual aid program i created for trans youth, and how i'm working with a lgbt youth group in town, and like a man possessed, he began spouting off about transgender people. yeah, i just don't like those transgender people. those men are always cheating by winning women's sports. and they beat women up did you know that? if women don't let them into the bathroom they beat those women up. they go in there and rape women and kids.

i was shell shocked by this outburst. i had never heard this opinion from him, and it was as if he had this whole rant locked and loaded, ready to spring up when given the opportunity. where did this come from? i asked. it's all over the news, i've seen videos on youtube, it's all true. there was no convincing him. even when i tried to appeal to common sense, or share an empathetic viewpoint. but you know, i'm transgender. obviously, not all trans people are the same. i don't do any of those things, and of all the trans people i know, none of them do that either. i think what you're watching is propaganda. but he insisted that this was real life, and ended up walking away grumbling about it.

i cried to my girlfriend that night. i was reaching a limit that i couldn't exceed. she held me and suggested that maybe i should walk away. i should save up my money, and i could go back to school, and i could do something i enjoyed. i was comforted, i agreed, and i began to plan my escape.

not even two weeks later, my grandfather burst into my office again, and asked, what's all this he/they shit? at first, i was a bit confused about what he meant, but then i realized, ah, you mean my personal pronouns that i use?

he looked so angry, and he had this crazed, unrecognizable look in his eyes - the type of look he would give to people who hurt his family. it terrified me. yeah, whatever, it's in your emails, take that shit off of there, it doesn't belong in business emails. i could feel my anger rising, and my throat felt tight, but i still managed to say it's my email signature, so that when people call me or address me, it's the way i want them to, just like my first name. it's not a big deal, everyone does it. you don't have to have one with your email signature, but i include mine because it's important for communication.

i don't give a shit. you're a she, your name is -----, you do that on your own time, but you need to be professional. take it off your emails. i stared back, shocked and honestly frightened. i could say yes, i'll take my pronouns off my emails, then i could apologize and continue working there. but something in myself would die.

no, i said.

no? he repeated.

no, and this conversation is over. i closed my laptop and brushed past him. he sputtered and screamed at me to take it off my emails, but i ignored him and went home.

i discussed it with my therapist, my girlfriend, my mother, and my sister. i decided to suggest therapy to them. three days later, i sat both my grandparents and my mother down. we were outside, sitting on a patio set facing each other.

i tried to talk about what happened, and after hearing the way they ranted about transgender people, how they were bad people, how they were sinning, how they didn't want pronouns in their business, how i was ruining their business by doing so, how i was using them in order to gain more support for my mutual aid that helps trans youth, and how i'm not respecting them, i suggested family therapy. they rejected the idea, and became even more indignant.

i stressed that forbidding me to use my proper pronouns and my correct name (which was a legal name), was against the law, and they said they didn't give a shit about the law. what are you going to do, sue your own grandparents? my grandmother scoffed at me. no, but if i was anybody else that you were doing this to, they could sue you, and they would win. at this, she got up from her seat and began ranting about how disrespectful i was being to my grandparents. she grabbed my wrist and yanked me around while she yelled, and raised her hand to smack me.

now, i want to pause here and explain something. obviously, this is an extreme reaction. it's also a common reaction from my grandparents during arguments. i know some may baulk at the idea of your grandparents or parents using corporal punishment, but it was a common thing, and sadly, it is part of a larger issue - intergenerational trauma caused by residential schools. i don't think i've mentioned it yet, but my family and i are native.

much of my family grew up in the residential school system, a schooling system ran by the catholic church and the canadian government for indigenous children. this system was mandatory, and parents who tried to hide their children were punished by the law. it's main purpose was cultural genocide, and the nuns and priests that ran the school physically, sexually and emotionally abused native children. many kids died from experimentation, neglect, malnutrition, unsuitable living spaces and were also murdered. the rate of death at these schools were so high that they had cemeteries on site, and many children were buried in unmarked graves. in that environment, my great grandparents survived those schools with many wounds, and had their own children sent to these schools. this is also where my grandparents went to school. they didn't need to send their own children there as they moved away to the city in the late 70s. but even some of my mother's friends had gone to residential school. in that regard, my grandparents have been deeply damaged by the system and by their upbringing. they're emotionally stunted, they resort to screaming instead of communicating, and their last resort is to lash out, sometimes physically. it's not right, by any means, but i just want you to understand that there is more under the surface.

back to my grandmother. she's ready to strike me, she's got my wrist, and i've just had enough of this. the way they've responded so far is beyond unreasonable, and any call to common sense is lost on them.

i slowly slackened my arm away from her personal space and into mine, opened my palms in a relaxed way, and pulled them behind my head softly until she let go, then put my hands in my lap and softened my face, and said, hey, let's stay in our seats. she knew that i was attempting to de-escalate the situation, felt insulted, and lashed out verbally instead. she jabbed a finger in my direction and spat, you trans people are all the same.

with that last sentence in mind, i turned to my mother, who had sat silently in tears the entire time. i don't think this is going to work, i said to her.

then why don't you quit! my grandmother yelled from her seat.

my grandfather said, fine, _____ either you do what i told you to do or quit.

i turned to my grandfather. so as your manager, if i don't let you break the law and violate the conditions of your 3rd party certification, i have to quit?

my grandmother's voice was hoarse, and she was repeatedly screaming in the background, so they don't you quit! why don't you quit! quit then! we don't need you!

i maintained eye contact with my grandfather. are those your feelings as well? not just her feelings?

he was struggling to look at me. that's the way i feel, too.

i stared at him for a few seconds while my grandmother continued to scream and rant. finally, i said, okay. this is my two week notice. but you only have two weeks to change your mind - after that, i'm gone.

i wish i could say that he thought long and hard over the next two weeks, and decided that he had been too much. i wish they decided to reel in their opinions for the greater good of their relationship with their family. but their business (and their religious views i suppose) was ultimately more important to them. in two weeks, i set up another manager with all my tasks - properly, the way i should have been - and left.

my grandfather urged me to move out of the company housing within those two weeks in not so many words. my grandmother suggested i move far away, and told me not to tell anyone what happened. it was seconded by my mother, who believed telling everyone would be unprofessional. i was scared and uncertain, i decided to lie to everyone and tell them i quit because i wanted to go back to school, or to change my career. i had to move in with my mother, two hours away from my girlfriend, and i had to sell my truck to afford my car payments. it was very difficult to overcome the rift in confidence the whole thing caused me, but eventually with the help of therapy, my girlfriend and my family, i slowly gained that confidence back.

now, i'm slowly opening up to more people about what happened. eventually, i will tell everyone, but not as a way to bring my grandparents down. i don't want to be like them in that way. i want to tell people when i feel okay again, when i feel confident, and when i have more stability in my life again.

i've been able to move into a house that i rent with my girlfriend, my sister, and my sister's boyfriend. we're creating a fun and colourful space to live in, a place where we feel good. my sister is going back to school and my girlfriend and i are looking into it too. after a long break, i'm also resuming activities with my mutual aid program. i've also joined the board of directors at my city's pride activity planning non-profit organization. lots of exciting stuff.

i'm going to be 27 in about a month. i spent 14 years working for my grandfather, and although somedays it feels like a huge waste of time, i still have a bunch of skills that i otherwise wouldn't have ever learned. i only wish it translated to a better paying job in the city, haha.

when i think about what my grandmother said, you trans people are all the same, it doesn't fill me with as much hurt as it did that day. cuz now i think about all the wonderful trans people i've met in my life and i think to myself - yeah, that's okay. if trans people are all the same, let me have the same kindness, the same humility, the same bravery, and the same forgiveness. because at the end of the day, i value those things far more than i would ever value money or ego.

i hope this story wasn't too boring. i know i'm just one of thousands, maybe millions of trans people that go through the same stuff everyday. but i appreciate being listened to, so thank you. if you want to be friends, follow me! i'm trying to use tumblr more often.

see ya! :]

[saturnznct]

d-8; visiting family in japan | ost

➸ note; i’m sorry that this is terrible, wasnt feeling much inspiration today,, 

➸ word count; 841 words

➸ saori; aged 9, sakura; aged 4, shichiro; aged 2

dadmas masterlist | nct masterlist (lnks will be added later)

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ⋆✦⋆ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

You hadn’t been back to Japan in quite some time. Shotaro had been offered so many amazing projects in Korea; comebacks, magazine shoots, TV appearances, and so on. You’d half expected him to be hard at work even over the Christmas period, but you were overjoyed when he announced that he had spoken to the company and had gotten the time off in order to spend time with your family.

‘You don’t have to take the time off for us,’ you say, ‘I know how much you love working in all of these projects.’

Shotaro smiles sadly, ‘well, the little ones  won’t be little forever. They all still believe in Santa. I don’t want to let it slip away too fast, you know? They’ll be another awards show next year. So believe me when I say that I want to be here, with you.’

‘Okay,’ you close your eyes as he kisses your forehead.

‘I was thinking we could go back to Japan for the week. Visit family, spend Christmas there.’

‘Yeah, absolutely, I know the kids would love that. And I do miss being there.’

‘Great. I’ll arrange everything,’ he yawns, exhaustion from his schedule filled day finally sinking in.

‘You’re the best,’ you rest your own head in his neck, shutting your own eyes, ‘I’m so happy.’

‘I know, and good. That’s all I want.’

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A few weeks later, the three of you are on the plane to Japan. Naturally, the flight isn’t even that long, but Shotaro has made sure you have the most comfortable seats possible, to make things easier for you both.

‘Chiro, you have to sit down,’ you lift your son by the waist and sit him down, and attempting to buckle his seatbelt.

‘No,’ he squirms, leaving you unable to strap him in.

‘Shichiro, I’m serious, do you want to go and visit Grandma and Grandpa?’ Shotaro chimes in, sending Shichiro a stern look when he nods, ‘ok, well we won’t go anywhere unless you sit down. Once we’re flying you can. take your seatbelt off, but you have to be good, okay?’

Shichiro huffs but reluctantly complies. Thankfully Sakura and Saori are not fazed by the take-off preparations, completely focused on their shows on their seat’s television. 

The flight is quick and thankfully quite uneventful, Shichiro’s bad mood makes him tired and he sleeps until you go through immigration. He sleeps in his car seat in the car ride to your second home in Kanegawa, with the driver that Shotaro had organised for you.

‘Feels so nice to be back,’ Shotaro comments as you enter the house, your belongings, photo frames, coats and shoes practically exactly as you left them.

‘I’ll go put this one down,’ you hold Shichiro in your arms, ‘he’s clearly compensating for sleep her missed out on last night.’

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ⋆✦⋆ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

‘Hello, hello!’ Shotaro’s mother answers the door, his father and siblings crowding behind her.

The three children rush forwards first, getting wrapped in a big hug by their grandmother.

‘Ah, I missed you babies,’ she cries, ‘it’s not the same when you’re in Korea.’

She looks up, acknowledging you and Shotaro. 

‘Mum,’ Shotaro stumbles into his mother’s embrace as the kids move on to their uncles and Grandfather.

‘Ah, Y/N, come here,’ you happily accept her hug, ‘look, we’ve got everything all decorated for the children.’

‘She’s really gone all out this year,’ Shotaro’s father adds, ‘she was so excited to have everyone here.’

‘Ah, you didn’t have to mum,’ you start to protest.

‘No, no, it’s not every year I get to have my grandbabies here for Christmas,’ she gushes, ‘come on, I made lots of food!’

—

‘Pretty lights!’ Sakura gasps at the sight of the multicoloured Christmas Tree, which is completely made up of LED lights.

The five of you had driven out to Lake Migayase, to go and see the massive Christmas Tree that was on display every year.

‘It’s so cool, right?’ Shotaro beams, Shichiro sat on his hip. 

‘Yeah!’ Sakura jumps up and down in excitement, while Saori takes photos of the scene on her phone. 

‘How are you feeling about the fireworks?’ you ask them, unsure of how the younger ones may react to the loud noises.

‘Are they pretty too?’ Sakura asks.

’Super pretty.’

Shotaro had brought ear defenders for the young Shichiro, while you knew Saori liked fireworks from seeing them at concerts.

’They’re going to start in a couple of minutes, so don’t be surprised, okay?’

‘Okay mummy/mommy.’

A few minutes later, the first firework erupts in the sky. Sakura and Saori both jump, but thankfully settle quickly and enjoy the fireworks.

At one point you look over to Shotaro and Shichiro, to make sure the toddler is relaxed. Shotaro looks up at the sky, equally as amazed as his son. They look so alike.

’Thank you for making the time off,’ you say later in the car, all three children asleep in the backseat behind you, ‘this has been the best Christmas we’ve had in a while.’

[pvccblog]

A GREAT FIT

It is safe to say that God brought us to a place that is a good fit for our team! We have felt so welcome, and we have had some great opportunities already. Connections have been made and our prayer is that they will continue to grow as the week moves on. Will you pray along with us? Yes........I MEAN YOU!!

We got to the park this morning to set up for camp and I had to run down the street to get some ice. When I left, no campers had arrived yet. When I came back, the area was packed with kids getting signed up. We ended up with 17 campers! They all had a blast! They had energy right off the bat and really enjoyed their time. After camp was over, the kids were smiling and hugging us and asking when we'd see them again. It was amazing.

The other blessing about camp today was that a bunch of the moms and grandmothers hung out and watched the kids play and had some great fellowship with each other. A few dads were in and out too. Pastor Fred stuck around and it was cool to see that he is well respected here and loves to connect.

We also received a great surprise visit as Sports Camp was wrapping up. Pastor Joe and Jenny Murrell stopped by! They were on their way to see their son Josh and his family in Salem and Jenny texted me while they were in the road. I told her the name of the park and they showed up about 45 minutes later. It was a great visit, we love them so much!

I've also noticed there's actually a pretty cool network going on here between some of the churches in the area. The events we're doing this week are in a neighboring town of Azalea called Glendale. There are a couple churches in Glendale that Pastor Fred knows pretty well. He's been plugging our events to these other churches. Fred mentioned that he desires what is best for the Kingdom of God this week, and that may not mean that everyone we come into contact with will end up going to Azalea Community Church. He picked Glendale Park because it was a central location with a lot of kids and teens. It is also a town with great need for the gospel. It's great to see that kind of unity in God's people from different congregations!

BARF Night was also amazing and full of energy tonight! The pastor and youth pastor from the Baptist Church in Glendale showed up tonight with their families and it was obvious that they are connected to the local teens. We did a little canvassing before our event and a few guys we passed out fliers to ended up coming.

The games were great and pretty intense at times - in a good way. We also had a few little kids that we had to dodge while playing. We aren't really strict on the ages for Mission Venture BARF Nights and it can get a little scary when the older kids are flying all over the place. Please pray for safety!

I'm not sure how many showed up to BARF but it was probably about as many as came to Sports Camp. One teen said that he is going to invite his whole track team tomorrow. A couple others said they will spread the word too! We're looking forward to a bigger crowd tomorrow.

My lovely daughter Ellie shared her testimony tonight and she did an excellent job. It's crazy to think that she is on her last Mission Venture as a student. I'm super proud of her and she's been a great leader on this trip. She really brings the energy and loves all her "besties" here on the team.

Right now all the Pine Valley students are sitting around chatting in the sanctuary with Maci and Axel. They're having a blast sharing some stories of some embarrassing experiences in their lives. They are quite the unified team!

We would love for you to pray for great opportunities for gospel conversations this week. Some locals have shared with us about the sad situations that many of the kids in Glendale are experiencing in their lives right now. It's all pretty heartbreaking. Pray that these teens that are coming to BARF Night will commit to Jesus! Our team is looking for chances to go deeper with these kids, and are confident that God will provide!

Thanks so much everyone!!

[pricegouge]

Oooooo you want ghost stories???

SO

Grandma has had prophetic dreams. She once dreamt she was at a tea party with a bunch of women who were all dead (her mom, her grandma, etc) except for one. Her best friend’s mother. Roughly a week later, said best friend’s mother dies in the hospital from heart issues.

Grandma’s (former) house is MONDO haunted. As in, pretty much everyone has had experiences including the family friend we had helping us touch up the house and move everything out. One I’ve had specifically is when I was staying up late in the downstairs TV room playing with a friend online, both of us heard a massive bang from another room. Him through my shoddy mic, and me. Never figured out what fell, but it sounded like something was shoved over. There were no animals in the house and I was the only person on the first floor.

Another spooky experience: Late at night again, I’m sitting in grandma’s office/den, which has two doors. The door that leads into the living rooms/TV room is closed bc it gets dark and scary at night. I’m sitting in the chair, both doors closed, the only one awake on the first floor. And I hear someone knock once on the door leading to the living rooms. I went to bed after that.

On the topic of the house, I’ve had nightmares regarding it lately. I practically grew up there, and having to sell it was really fucking painful for my family. It’s horrible knowing that I’ll never set foot in there again when I spent so much of my childhood in there. I’m scared that my resentment and anger of having to give up the house may have left something bad inside. The place is already haunted, but I’m worried that I may have planted the seeds for some kind of construct made of emotional energy, like a poltergeist. I really hope the new owners treat the house well. It’s an old, old house (built in 1900) and the ghosts are all our ancestors. I had plenty of days where I went to the third floor, the place I felt most comfortable speaking with them, and told them to please be kind to the new tenants, but I wonder if it was enough. My mama and I watch Dead Files together a lot, and part of me wonders if we’ll ever see an episode where Amy Allen gets called to walk through Grandma’s House.

There’s also the uncle who I’m fairly certain is cursed and whom we don’t talk to because he may or may not have killed my great grandpa, but that’s another story

~🦋

Answering under the cut just to keep things short on dash

Okay so full disclosure I'm like 98% sure I don't believe in ghosties HOWEVER, that 2% is a direct result of living with my grandmother as a kid in a house built in the 1700s and Seeing Some Shit

So with that in mind, I fully believe you and that house sounds crazy! I'm sorry your family had to sell it :( I'm not quite in a comparable position because I COULD see my grandmother's house now because my uncle owns it, but it's been fully renovated and none of it still feels the same :( I get so sad every time I visit because like ... Where is she? What did you do with her memory? I'm not sensitive to believing my turmoil would leave a mark on the house, but I can easily see where a similar feeling from you would make you feel like that. That being said, whichever family members still linger, I'm sure they know you only want the best for the house and any negativity you may have left was absorbed as what it was, silly little mortal emotions that everyone has at some point. Your ghosties sound similar to the ones that haunt my grandmother's place in that they all sound generally benevolent except for the odd spook.

You may one day see them on a ghost show but I bet you any money they'll keep being a sweet, if slightly scary, presence. I don't think us living people have that much sway over their temperment 💛

[lucagray813]

Anything for Free Noodles

Rating: Gen

Word Count: 1,683

Main Characters: Tang, Pigsy, MK

Relationships: Tang & Pigsy (Pre-relationship Freenoodles), Tang & MK, Pigsy & MK

Summary: Pigsy needs an emergency babysitter, Tang was regrettably the only option available.

Additional Tags: Pre-canon, slice of life

CW: None

Link to AO3 Version

----

Tang had been coming to Pigsy's Noodles for a number of years, it had started out as somewhere to go and study but obviously with food that good he rarely went anywhere else.

And having become such a loyal customer he also ended up becoming quite friendly with the titular Pigsy. So much so that the pig demon was happy for Tang to sit in the restaurant while it was shut between the lunch and dinner rush.

He'd even had plenty of friendly chats with Pigsy's grandmother, Xiùyīng, and was a friendly face to Pigsy's adoptive son, MK.

He wasn't super great with small kids but turns out that didn't really matter to MK - the boy had endless energy and never seemed to run out of things to say. He'd been the victim of his one-sided conversations a number of times over the years.

A quick look to Pigsy or Xiùyīng was enough to have them whisk him away but as long as he wasn't cramming for a deadline he could tolerate it. His father and grandmother as obviously as they loved him could do with a five minute break now and then.

It was on a seemingly normal day that things took an unexpected turn. MK had been upstairs watching TV, Pigsy had been preparing for the dinner rush and he had been quietly studying at the counter when Pigsy had received a call that he left to take in another room.

Completely frazzled, Pigsy had stormed back into the room shortly after and quickly started to tidy things away.

More than a little concerned he asked, "Er, Pigsy? Everything alright?"

Pigsy whipped around to face him after grabbing some paper. And while writing he explained shortly, "Hospital called. My grandma's had a fall. I need to get there asap. Tang, I'm really sorry but I need to close the shop for the day."

He then moved to stick the hastily written sign on the door as Tang responded with concern, "Is she ok?"

Pigsy responded, "She's not dying but sounds like she's got one hell of a concussion and leg injury out of it. She's going to be in at least overnight. I need to go to her's, pick up her stuff and then get to the hospital."

Pigsy shot a worried look at the stairs that led up to his apartment before turning back to him a little desperate, "Tang, I know I'm asking a lot here but MK does not handle stress well. Would you be able to watch him for a couple hours? Please?"

Even seeing how harried Pigsy was he couldn't help but be reluctant, "Me? Are you sure? You don't have anyone better suited...?"

Pigsy pleaded with him, "Not on such short notice. Plus he knows you and you know he's a good kid." He looked away for a moment before he played his winning card, "Look, do this for me and noodles are on the house for the week."

Free noodles? For a week? For basically sitting here like he had been planning to? He'd be crazy to pass that up!

Trying not to let the excitement take over, he responded, "For you Pigsy? Anything!"

Pigsy snorted, not at all surprised or impressed at his quick turnaround but he didn't pass comment - the important thing was he had a babysitter.

He grabbed another piece of paper, "This is my number. Call me if you need anything. Feel free to go upstairs. I hopefully shouldn't be gone that late but there's enough leftovers in the fridge upstairs for both you and MK."

He handed the number to him and paused for a moment, sincerity clear as he said, "Tang. Thank you for this."

He didn't get a chance to respond before Pigsy turned and sharply called MK's name. A thump was heard from above followed by the thundering of a child running down the stairs.

MK appeared looking worried, "I was just watching TV!"

Given how Pigsy had called him, Tang wasn't surprised that MK had assumed the worst. He'd been given a fright by the shout as well.

Pigsy seemed to realise this too and he kneeled down as he waved MK over to him, "You're not in trouble. I just need to go out for a bit so Mr. Tang is going to watch you, ok?"

MK was immediately distressed, "You're going out just now? But the shop's about to open!"

Pigsy had a hand on his shoulder as he responded, "We're going to be shut for a little bit but I'll be back in a few hours. You won't even notice that I'm gone."

This didn't seem to appease him at all, "But where are you going? Did something happen?" He glanced at Tang, "Where's grandma? Why can't she come watch me?"

Tang watched in real time as Pigsy struggled to come up with what to say, he clearly didn't want to tell MK the truth but a believable lie seemed beyond him.

He settled on, "Your grandma went out for the day, remember? Look, I promise everything is ok and I'll explain it all when I get back but I really need to get going. Can you be good for Mr. Tang?"

Very reluctantly, MK nodded. Pigsy ruffled his hair and kissed his head before standing up, "Thata boy. I'll be back before you know it."

Through out all of this Tang had been doing his best to give them some privacy, playing around with his phone long after he'd saved Pigsy's number and sent him his own.

Pigsy thanked him once more before heading out, and MK looked so sad as he stood by the window and waved goodbye, standing there long after Pigsy was gone from sight.

Tang was starting to regret agreeing to this in the face of such upset. Pigsy and Xiùyīng had both mentioned before that MK was a bit of a sensitive kid but he'd never seen him like this and he was feeling exceedingly underqualified.

Slowly, MK turned around to face him and for a moment they just stared at each other while Tang racked his brain on what to say to an upset looking seven year old.

Glancing at his paper on Chinese mythology and then back to MK he weakly offered, "Er... Ever heard of the Monkey King?"

----

Several hours later, Pigsy returned home to find him and MK sitting upstairs, empty food bowls surrounding them, while watching an age appropriate cartoon retelling of Journey to the West.

Tang paused the show as he saw Pigsy walk closer, and MK had looked ready to complain loudly before he realised who was back. With an excited shout he ran over to his father, wasting no time telling him everything he'd learned about the Monkey King in the time he'd been away.

Pigsy looked confused but nodded along anyway. Though he interrupted MK's embellished retelling of Monkey King's adventures to say, "Sounds like you've had a great time with Mr. Tang, huh? You can tell me all about it after I see him off, ok?"

Tang took the hint and started to pack up his things and as he made his way over. Pigsy picked up MK and prompted him, "What do we say to Mr. Tang?"

Obediently MK chimed out a "Thank you, Mr. Tang!"

Pigsy then gently tossed a happy MK on to the couch with a, "Good boy. I'll be back up in a minute."

Tang smiled and said his goodbyes as he followed Pigsy down the stairs and to the front door.

Pigsy looked exhausted but he at least seemed less stressed than he had earlier. His gratitude was clear though, "Thanks again, Tang. He behaved himself right?"

Tang nodded, "Oh yeah, he was totally fine. He was a bit upset after you left but he bounced back fast. How was your grandmother?"

Pigsy sighed, "She'll be alright but she's dislocated her hip so she's going to be out of action for a while. She'll be in the hospital for a few more days so that gives me time to get my room set up for her."

Tang hissed in sympathy at the injury but curious he asked, "Where will you sleep?"

Pigsy shrugged, "Guess I'll be on the couch for a while. Might have an old futon hidden away somewhere but I'll sort it out."

He supposed there was no way around it - she wouldn't be able to move on her own for a while and Pigsy wouldn't be able to work and take care of her if she wasn't here.

Still he felt bad at how busy Pigsy's foreseeable future was looking so he offered, "Well, if you need me to, I'm sure I could babysit MK again for a bit."

Pigsy laughed slightly, "Trying to earn yourself a lifetime's worth of free noodles?"

Tang grinned. He couldn't say the thought hadn't crossed his mind, "Well, if you're offering..."

Pigsy rolled his eyes but smiled at him, "I appreciate the offer and I might have to take you up on it sometime. But thanks again for today - sorry I've kept you here so late."

Tang waved him off, "We both know I've been here way later than this." He then paused a little concerned, "You're not going to open the restaurant again tonight, are you?"

Pigsy shook his head, "I had thought about it but I need to go tell the kid what's happened and I already know he's going to be pretty upset over it... Not to mention I'm exhausted. I think I'll survive missing one night."

Glad to hear it and not wanting to keep him from MK any longer, he said his goodbyes and started his walk back home.

He was surprised to find himself a little excited to come back and share more stories of the Monkey King to MK. He'd never met someone as enthusiastic as himself about the old legends.

It wouldn't take him, or Pigsy, long to realise he'd sparked a love that would last a lifetime.

[believingispowerfulmagic]

The Christmas Waltz

Summary:  Regina Mills wanted to share the perfect dance at her Christmas wedding and so booked lessons with Robin Locksley. When her wedding plans fall through, will she find happiness and solace in the dance studio…and her rather attractive dance teacher? And will she prove to be exactly who Robin needs in his life as well? OQ AU

Chapter 1: FFN | AO3 | Wattpad

Chapter 4: The Safety Dance

FFN | AO3 | Wattpad

Excerpt:

After dinner, Mum offered to put Roland to bed. Excited to spend time with his grandmother, he happily accepted and they left the kitchen together. That left Robin with his father as they sipped some whiskey together.

"Everything coming along for the show at the end of the month?" Dad asked, setting his glass down.

Robin nodded, swallowing his sip. "Wait until you see Roland in the kids' number. He's doing exceptionally well. He may need to switch to a teacher who can work with him and nurture his talent even more, if that's what he wants."

Dad frowned. "You don't think you're that teacher?"

"Not with the studio we have now, no," Robin replied honestly though it was still a painful admission. "Besides, he might need someone more objective than his father and his mother if he wants to pursue dancing professionally."

"That is true," Dad agreed. "We had to turn you and Marian over to Tuck after all."

Robin nodded, recalling his second teacher and coach. "Exactly."

"Do you think Roland wants to pursue dancing professionally?" Dad asked. "Or does he just want to keep doing it for fun?"

"I'm not sure," Robin replied. "I think Marian and I need to sit down and have that talk with him like you and Mum did when I was his age."

Dad nodded. "I think that's a good idea. You can do it after Christmas."

Robin chuckled. "Absolutely. Let's get through the show and the holidays. Then we can have that talk."

"So was that what kept you? You wanted to get a little more practice time with Roland?" Dad asked.

"No," Robin said. "I had a student come in. She originally signed up for lessons for her wedding but since that fell through she's been hot and cold about continuing. But I think she's made up her mind and she wants to see it through."

Dad frowned. "Wait, is this the student your mother was worried about?"

Robin sighed, not surprised Mum talked to his father about Regina. "Yes. Regina had a breakdown at her last lesson and Mum was worried I was going to go out of my way to help Regina. I promised her I wouldn't. And it seems that Regina got whatever comfort she needed and is only my student."

"Good," Dad said. "Dancing requires a great deal of vulnerability and trust and so it can be easy to mistake those for deeper feelings."

"I know," Robin replied. After all, his only romantic relationship had been with Marian, his dance partner since he was a child. He had also seen his share of ill-fated romances amongst other dancers and had just lost his other instructor due to an affair with a student - who was taking classes with her husband. The instructor and student ran away to California to start a new life together, leaving the husband and Robin to deal with the fallout. Robin was just glad the man didn't blame him or Marian for the affair, rightly directing his anger to his soon-to-be-ex-wife and her new boyfriend.

He then thought of his most recent lesson with Regina. While she was more open to making mistakes and letting him correct her, he still felt some resistance from her. She carried a lot of tension and he needed to find a way to help her relax during their sessions, which he shared with his father now.

Dad nodded, rubbing his chin. "I think you need to build a little more trust with her. Have you tried the blindfold?"

"I don't even think we're up to the blindfold," Robin replied honestly. "Any other ideas?"

"Trust fall?" Dad suggested.

Robin chuckled. "Really?"

His father shrugged. "I don't know. But I'm sure you'll think of something."

"I hope so," Robin said, sighing. "Thanks, Dad."

"Anytime," his father said. "I'm always here for you."

Mum entered the kitchen again, sitting down as well. "Roland is asleep."

"Thanks, Mum," Robin replied, kissing her cheek. "He loves it when he's here and gets to see you and Dad."

"We love having him here," she said. "So what were you two talking about?"

Dad sipped his whiskey before replying: "Just giving Robin some advice about a student."

She chuckled before leaning closer to her son. "Don't listen to a word he says."

"Hey!" Dad replied, looking indignant. "I happen to give good advice, right, Robin?"

"He did have a good suggestion," Robin replied. "And I hope it helps with my student."

Mum smiled, patting his hand. "I'm sure it will. You're a great teacher and this student is in good hands."

Dad nodded, raising his glass. "I'll drink to that."

"You'll drink to anything," Mum replied, rolling her eyes as she ribbed him good-naturedly.

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Dad replied, keeping his eyes on her as he took a long sip of his whiskey.

She sighed. "You'll never change."

"You don't want me too," he shot back.

As they bickered, Robin watched their interactions with amusement. He hoped one day he would find a love like the one his parents shared and that this would be him and his wife in their old age.

One day.

[julie-su]

Still left frustrated that KTE and it's surrounding issues sew the seeds of 'Generational trauma sucks' and then goes on to flop the landing with 'but that's your FATHER, he's trying his BEST, so you have to love him. okay?!' -- A good point was almost made.. Then squandered. And I suppose it comes down to "Damn, dude, I think you shouldn't have tried to work this one out under the licensed Sonic The Hedgehog Comics".

I mean- that's what was set up with Janelle-Li, Athair, Sabre, and Locke, wasn't it? As much as we all tend to hand-waive the swirling depths of these comics, there are clear lines to be drawn.. Or perhaps I'm playing 'death of the author' to see this one out. Either way - Janelle-Li is dying, and Athair, Sabre's father and daughter of Janelle-Li, refuses to leave his place as Mitre of the Lost Tribe, deeming it an act of religeous importance* This frustrates Sabre, who sees Athair as cruel and heartless, thus he seperates from his father to see his grandmother before she passes on.

This sews the seeds of an apathy for religeon in Locke, who goes on to roll his eyes every time his ex-wife brings up Echidna Theology; of course, she is an avid studier, and frequently visits the.. Aurorium.. (Aurora is a once-echidna, who had evolved into a higher being with her connection to the Chaos Force, appearing to those sometimes to aide with their issues. Y'know.. Like Jesus, but not! I say once-echidna, as she appears to suit whichever species of mobian she visits.) ... ... This leads Knuckles to have not a clue about Echidna Theology, even so in that he feels uncomfortable stepping foot in the Aurorium, without much of a thought as to why.

*Echidna Theology is thus influenced by The Ancient Walkers, who are highly connected to the Chaos Force - who very much fortold of dangers coming, and their great wisdom was documented into the Tomes - which are essentially Echidna Religeous Texts.

... It's just.. There's clearly a strong thought put into the understanding of cyclitical generational trauma; even when we have moments in Penders' stories of Locke going 'hmm, I know I've gone wrong' as we explore how 'chucking your kid into the wilderness and waiting to see if he copes' is an archaic training method set by Rembrandt, after his first son died on a lone mission... Rembrandt being a guardian from 11 generations before Knuckles. That's a lot of years of chucking your kid out into the wilderness! (Though, interestingly, it seems that in the middle, Tobor lived at home with his mother, with sporadic visits from his father, until presumably he came 'of age'.)

I suppose I wrote all of this to say; I feel like removing "Locke being a bad father" in an act to fix his character feels antithetical to what story was being told, and also does a disservice to the story itself. I'd much rather see stories where we explore the trauma and cyclitical abuse, and call it for what it is - not unlike Flynn's run with Locke. There are some really fun plot threads to follow if you allow yourself to really pull the story apart and look at its ooey, gooey innards (... And a lot more things to complain about, but I get that part out in private chats, HEY-OO!)

Well, my final write-off is; I wrote all of this at 1am, incredibly sick, and off my konk.. so if I've misremembered anything, do tell me.. POLITELY, in asks or replies ^^

[mormonbooks]

Daughter of the Deep Review

Alright, it's been a little while since I finished this book but I'm finally writing the review.

4/5 stars!

This book is by Rick Riordan, and while he's not a member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints -- so this book doesn't technically fit my "by mormons about mormons" criteria -- I wanted to include this book because it's one of the only pieces of mainstream media that has casual mormon rep that I've ever heard of.

Summary - Ana Dakaar's freshman finals trip gets turned into a life-death situation when Harding-Pencroft (the school she and her friends attend) is destroyed. The freshmen are the only ones left standing and they discover that there is more to their school than they originally thought -- Captain Nemo from 1000 Leagues Under the sea (also known as Prince Dakaar) was a real person, and their school was built to honor his memory and continue researching the incredibly advanced naval and marine technology that he had invented. Ana has to trust her friends Esther, Nelinha, and Gemini (as well as herself) while they try to win a war they never realized they were a part of.

Gemini Twain is the only Mormon character and he is great. Spoilers under the cut.

Well written - 5 Stars.

Listen, it's Rick Riordan. He's good at writing, what am I gonna say?

2. Fun Level - 5 Stars.

The story is just jam packed with fun and entertaining moments and ideas. The advanced technology is intriguing and silly at the same time, the characters are engaging and their relationships are fun! I had a great time jumping from suspenseful action moments, to heartfelt friendships, to tender introspection, and back to silly sci-fi. It's just a blast.

3. Complex Faith - 4 Stars.

Gemini's faith isn't explored very much, because he's not a POV character. That being said, he is one of the main characters that Ana interacts with, and we get hints that his relationship to his religion is complex. His parents are hippies, and he never knew them because he was raised by his grandmother. She is the one who introduced him and his brother to the church. His brother is on a mission, and Gemini is the only Mormon at HP. He's a really lonely kid. We don't get the sense that he's close with a faith community in the area. Although we don't know Gemini's personal relationship with God, his backstory makes him a unique enough Mormon character (basically, not a Peter Priesthood) that I think he warrants a high score in this regard.

4. Homophobia Scale - 4 Stars.

There is absolutely no romance in this book. I know people like the ship Ana and Gem and there is certainly room for that (and the difference in religion would be interesting to explore) but there is also room for all the characters to be ace, or literally whatever. So, while there are no gay characters, there are also no straight characters. Everyone is just ... trying not to die actually.

5. Mormon Weird - 1 star.

Because Gemini isn't a POV character, we don't get a lot of Mormon specific things. There is a moment where Gemini unthinkingly talks to a Nelinha (who is from Brazil) about his brother who is on a mission in Brazil, as if Nelinha would somehow know his brother even though Brazil is a huge place, which seems like a specifically Mormon Moment to me (in an affectionately, "Oh yikes, we do that don't we" way), but yeah. Not a lot of Mormon Weird included in this book.

6. Diversity of Characters - 5 stars!

Ana - Indian American, Hindu, multilingual (English, Irish, ASL, Bundeli, etc)

Nelinha - Brazilian, bilingual (English, Portuguese)

Esther - European American, Autistic (and written very well from my opinion), has an Emotional Support Dog

Gemini Twain - African-American, Mormon,

Plus lots of other characters who show up throughout the novel, all with their own backstories, ethnicities, and personalities. I love them all.

7. Other Problematic Stuff - 5 stars

Nothing to report. It was just great.

Conclusion - Please read this book!! It's just so much fun, the cast is so great, the world is fascinating, and the plot is engaging. I love Gemini Twain with all of my heart and I want everyone else to know and love him too. It's also just so refreshing to read a book that acknowledges our existence, and allows a Mormon to be one of the heroes in a sci-fi story, just like ... casually. I love him.

I said in my goodreads review that:  "I didn't necessarily see myself in Gem, but I saw all the boys I grew up with in Sunday School, the guys I served my mission with, and the men I met at BYU." He's a good one.