#my grandpa always came to my brother’s hockey games and he would always sit beside me and say when are you gonna get on the ice

[hearty-an0n]

how do you tell dead people that you’re finally trying out that thing they kept bugging you to do. how do you let them know

[trashforhockeyguys]

Wholeheartedly /5/ Auston Matthews

A/N: After a long week of a lot of technically difficulties, here is part 5... Finally.

When you rolled over in the morning, you were met with Auston’s empty side of the bed. The sheets were cold, meaning he’d been up for a while. You knew you needed to get up. The boys, if they weren’t already, would be waking up soon.

However, you could hear both boys laughing downstairs, accompanied by the sound of the TV, and your parents. You smiled, snuggling into Auston’s pillow. A clanging from the kitchen let you know that your sister was probably awake as well, and cooking breakfast. You knew that you could stay in bed for a while and it would be okay.

Eventually the boys would come running in and jump on the bed with you. They’d both snuggle up next to you and ask if they could stay in bed with you. If your family weren’t there, chances were Auston and the boys would be in bed with you right now. You’d snuggle up and watch movies for a while.

Finally, you pulled yourself out of bed and tossed on one of Auston’s sweatshirts, that you’d conveniently stolen while the two of you were still dating, and slowly made your way downstairs.

Erika was standing over the stove, jabbing Auston’s chest with a spatula. Auston, who much taller than Erika, was looking down at her with a terrified expression on his face. You’d never really seen Auston look afraid like that before, or at least not when your little sister was involved. But then again, Auston hadn’t spent nearly as much time with her as he had with your brothers.

Because Erika was nearly ten years younger than you, she was still just a kid when you and Auston started dating. Because of that, she wasn’t able to come see you in Toronto like Lucas and Peter did. Occasionally she’d come up on weekends, when she didn’t have hockey, but by then you and Auston were preparing to go back to Arizona. She did spend one summer with you not long after Jake was born.

But Auston didn’t know your sister well enough to know that she could be a little demon. Being the youngest, by quite a fair amount, she had to learn now stand on her own. To say that she was hardheaded and feisty would be an understatement. She knew what she wanted and she knew how to get it. But she was also a total sap when it come to your boys. She loved her nephews with all of her heart, you were pretty sure she’d do anything for them.

“Oh my god, Auston you are helpless!” She groaned, pushing him away from her, “You’ll burn the whole damned house down!”

“I didn’t do anything wrong! I put the shit on the pan like you said!” He tried to explain.

She whipped around, shooting him a look that could probably kill him, “You had the stove on high, dip shit! They’d burn, and I never, ever, burn my pancakes!”

You had to hold back a laugh. Auston had faced guys twice, if not three times, Erika’s size. Yet, he almost looked like he might shit himself. He’d never seen Erika like this before, but that’s because he’d never been in a kitchen with her before. Or, if he was, you were always right beside him and were able to keep Erika in check. You had to cover your mouth as they kept fighting over the pancakes, and who was right. Ultimately, you knew Erika was right, because there were just some things that Auston didn’t know how to do. Making  pancakes was one of them.

“Having fun?” You questioned, finally pushing yourself off the wall.

“Hey, you’re awake,” Auston smiled softly.

“How have you been married to him for six years, and you haven’t taught him how to make pancakes?” Erika questioned you, narrowing her eyes.

You shrugged, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips, “There are some things he just can’t learn. He makes his mom’s recipes and I do everything else.”

She looked between the two of you and shook her head. You watched as he shot Auston one more look before walking towards you and handing you the spatula. She then stopped out of the kitchen, yelling that you were not allowed to burn her pancakes while she was in the bathroom. You laughed and made your way over to Auston. You wrapped your arms around his torso and nuzzled into his chest.

You could make out the boys laying on the floor of the living room in between both of your brothers. Your parents were sitting on the couch just behind them. Jake and Brian were both half a sleep still. Jake was still clutching onto his little teddy bear. You wanted to laugh when you noticed that they’d both brought down their pillows, and one of them had even grabbed their blanket, so they were both snuggled up under that.

Auston kissed your hair before resting his chin on top of your head. You’d forgotten how much you missed almost quiet mornings like this. You didn’t have to worry about the boys, because they were well looked after. You’d become used to the only moments alone with Auston being at night, after the boys had gone to bed, or early in the morning before they woke up. You’d forgotten how nice it was to just be able to be with him for a little while.

“Are the pancakes going to burn?” Auston suddenly asked you.

“Are the edges bubbling?” You questioned, not moving to check if they were.

“Um… I don’t know?” He stated, more as a question.

You sighed and turned your head to look for yourself. The pancakes were indeed bubbling and ready to flip. You reluctantly let go of Auston and turned to the stove so you could take care of all the work. Auston was standing behind you with his hands on your hips.

“Aus.”

“What? I’m watching so I can try to learn,” He stated, his lips brushing your ear.

“You’re helpless, remember?” You joked.

“Mmm, yes, your sister said that many many times before you came down,” He grumbled, “Is she always that scary? I don’t  remember that.”

This time you couldn’t help but laugh, “Auston, baby, hockey might be her first love, but cooking is a close second. She was actually pretty tame, because this isn’t her kitchen. Otherwise she would have kicked you out a while ago.”

Auston pulled away slightly so he could lean to the side to look at you, “Are you serious?”

You nodded, “Dead serious. She made us dinner one night when you were on the road. I wasn’t allowed to even step foot inside the kitchen. She’s nice to you because she didn’t really grow up with you, but Peter, Lucas, and I are all fair game.”

He laughed slightly and kissed your cheek. You hummed and leaned back into him as you flipped the pancakes. Most of them were almost done, which would make the boys very happy because they were pancake addicts. Nine times out of ten that’s all they wanted to eat for breakfast. Pancakes, or Lucky Charms.

Auston started playing with the bottom of your sweatshirt by the time you started to pour more batter onto the pan. You smiled, relishing in the feeling of his warmth. All you could think was that summer was just around the corner, and soon the two of you would have plainly of time to spent together.

“Okay, that’s enough of the love fest,” Erika announced, barging back into the kitchen, “Out, both of you.”

“So much for not kicking us out,” Auston snickered.

You snorted as she threatened to whack you with the spatula she’d ripped from your hand. You quickly ran out of the kitchen, trying to avoid actually being hit. Auston was right  on your toes, apparently he’d not been so lucky and took a direct shot to the back of the head. You actually snorted due to laughing so hard.

“Okay, she’s scary,” Auston announced, rubbing his head.

“Is Erika micromanaging the kitchen again?” Peter asked, looking up from his spot on the floor.

“Auston caught a spatula to the back of the head,” You giggled.

“Daddy are you okay?” Both boys suddenly sat up.

Auston smiled down at both boys and sat down. Jakey automatically crawled into his lap. You watched as Brian then snuggled into his dad’s side, not wanting to be left out. With one arm, Auston held Jake to his chest, and then wrapped the other around Brian. Auston looked back over at you with a warm smile.

You were pretty sure your heart would melt no matter how many times you saw your three boys like this. You supposed it was something that came with being a mother. You didn’t care though. You’d be overjoyed if your boys always stayed like this.

Again you found yourself wishing that they’d never grow up. You knew that it was impossible of course, but you loved the age that they were at. You also knew, that if you and Auston were able to add to the family, things would change so much for the boys. They were used to it just being the four of you. You couldn’t help but wonder how things would change if you had another.

“Mommy! Come cuddle!” Brian said banging his hand on the spot next to him.

“I’m going to bug the mess out of Erika,” Lucas stated, getting up from his spot next to Brian.

“Hey! Just remember that’s my kitchen, so if you make her throw or break anything, you’re not only cleaning it up but paying for it,” You warned.

He rolled his eyes as he disappeared into the kitchen. Peter was quick to follow him, promising that he would keep the younger of your siblings in check. A few minutes later, both of your parents went up stairs to shower and get ready for the day. Leaving you and Auston and the boys all alone in the living room.

You pulled Brian into your lap, hugging him tightly. You could tell that he was still mostly asleep because he didn’t even fight you. Instead, he got into almost the same position as Jake, only he turned his head so that he could still watch the TV.

“Daddy?” Jakey asked softly.

“Yeah little man, what’s wrong?”

“Are we going to have to leave all of our uncles again?” He asked sadly.

Auston shifted Jake around so he could look into the three year old’s eyes, “Yeah Bud, we are. Just for a little while, but we’ll be in Arizona, so you can see Gram and Grandpa, and Aunt Alex and Aunt Bre.”

“Will Gram cook for us?” He asked, eyes widening at the thought.

“I’m sure she will make whatever you want if you ask nicely,” Auston laughed.

“Good, Mommy can’t cook as good as Grammy,” Jake said, matter of factly.

“Mommy tries,” Auston corrected, “But Mommy doesn’t always have Gram’s secret sauce.”

“Because someone takes it with him wherever he goes,” You pointed out, shooting Auston a look.

He just shrugged, flashing you a big smile. Ten minutes later, Erika had somehow managed to finish breakfast even with both brothers hovering over her and bickering. Jake and Brian ran to the table before you could even blink.

You were able to get through breakfast without anyone killing each other. Which with your siblings, no matter how old they got, was always a feat. From there, you were able to clean up the kitchen and then get both boys dressed and ready.

Your family had offered to take them down to the rink for a couple hours. Since the boys had been begging to go since the moment they got up this morning. You tried to tell them that you were going to use the time to clean the house, which you needed to do in preparation to leave soon, but your brothers seemed to have other ideas as they grabbed their coats. They both made some pretty vulgar gestures towards you and Auston when the boys weren’t looking. Had the boys not been there, you probably would’ve cussed them out.

“Alright, you two be good for Mimi and Pops, okay?” You questioned, handing both boys their sticks.

“Yes Mommy,” Brian promised.

“Okay, go on,” You said, quickly hugging them both, “We’ll see you later.”

You watched as they both ran out of the door, slightly shoving each other as they went. You could hear them both saying that they wanted to fight each other on the ice, just like Auston. You both grimaced and laughed at the same time, something you didn’t know was possible until you had the two of them.

“So, you were all yelling for me to kick ass his ass last night?” Auston questioned once the door was closed.

“Mitch told you?”

“Baby, I could hear it for myself,” He laughed, moving closer so he could wrap his arms around you, “I didn’t really expect to get in a fight and hear my entire family yelling for me to kick his ass.”

“Well, that’s what you get for fighting,” You joked, “And now both of our boys want to be little goons.”

Auston snorted, “Jake was already a little goon, we let him play too much NHL with Matt and Mitch last summer.”

“Hey, I’m the one who warned you that he already liked to make Brian fight him on that,” You protested, “And I did try to tell both Matt and Mitch to not let him go overboard. Not my fault they didn’t listen.”

He laughed and started to kiss your neck. You obviously knew where this was going, not that you cared. You hadn’t actually planned on cleaning today. You knew that chances were, Auston wouldn’t let you even try.

“Auston, you are not giving me another hickey,” You stated, “Not with my parents in town.”

“They leave tonight,” He mumbled against your neck.

“No, absolutely not,” You laughed, pushing his face away.

“Y/N,” He groaned.

You walked into the living room to turn off the TV. You could feel Auston watching your every move. You didn’t even have to look back to check. He followed you into the kitchen, where you put away the few things you’d forgotten about.

“Y/N,” He said again.

You smiled almost wickedly. You could actually hear the frustration in his voice. It almost made you want to drag this all out, tease him a little. But you had absolutely no willpower with him, you never had. In fact the lack of willpower between the both of you is how Brian and Jake both happened.

It was almost comical really. There were many reasons why Mitch had accidently walked in on you and Auston when you’d first gotten together. But then again, you probably shouldn't have given him a key when you and Auston got your first place together. Surprising Auston on the road that one time before you got pregnant with Brian probably wasn’t the most well thought out plan either.

You grabbed Auston’s hand and pulled him up the steps and towards your bedroom at the end of the hall. You were honestly proud of the two of you for actually making it to the bedroom this time.

What felt like hours upon hours later, you were both wrapped up in each other’s arms. Neither one of you wanted to move, despite the fact that you both knew you needed to shower and get ready before everyone came home. But you were too comfortable in his arms to even think about moving.

He was slowly stroking your thigh with one hand while the other played with your hair. You could feel yourself starting to drift back off to sleep. You knew that if you didn’t move now, you’d absolutely fall back asleep. You tried to shift, but he kept holding you to him, not allowing you to move.

“Auston, they could be back soon,” You mumbled.

“Shh, just a few more minutes,” He whispered, kissing the top of your head.

You relaxed back into him. You figured, or hoped at least, that someone would text either of you before they started to come home. Hopefully they’d give you enough of a heads up so you and Auston could look somewhat presentable again.

You were just about to fall asleep when your phone went off from your night stand.You groaned, annoyed that you now had to move, which made Auston laugh. You reached for your phone, hoping that they weren’t on their way home yet.

Luckily, Erika was just sending you videos of the boys on the ice. You smiled before settling back on the bed. You held your phone in such a way that Auston could see it. Before pressing play, you rested your head back on his chest.

In the first video Brian was holding onto Jake’s hand to make sure he didn’t fall. The two boys skated hand in hand all over the rink, laughing as they went. You couldn’t help but smile as you watched your two boys. They looked too cute with their little helmets and skates.

In the second video, they now had their sticks and were chasing around your brothers, who had the puck. Auston laughed as he watched Jake try to tackle Lucas. Eventually, Brian was able to catch up to Peter, who then had to dump the puck back to Lucas. However, your little brother seemed to underestimate your youngest son. Jake might’ve still been a little unsteady on his skates, but he was still a fast little sucker. He was taking the puck away from Lucas before Luke even knew what was happening.

“Those are our boys,” Auston mumbled.

“I know,” You replied softly.

“Sometimes I still can’t believe that we made them,” He told you.

“I know,” You agreed, “ It seems crazy that they’re all ours.”

You tossed your phone back on the bed. You tried to get comfortable again. You wanted just a few more minutes now. Auston pulled the covers just a little higher and then dropped his arm back over you. You probably would’ve fallen asleep if Erika hadn’t texted again to tell you that they were going out for some ice cream before heading back.

“We actually have to get up now,” You mumbled, suddenly feeling less than motivated.

Auston laughed, knowing that now that you actually had to get up you’d fight it with every fiber of your being. You gave yourself five more minutes before you finally dragged yourself out of bed. You started to pick up your various articles of clothing that were scattered around the room. You also tossed Auston all of his clothes.

“You go shower, I’ll take care of everything else,” He told you.

You looked over your shoulder before you got fully into the bathroom, “Or, you could shower with me.”

He looked at your closed bedroom door and then back at you, “You really are trying to kill me, aren’t you?”

You bit your lip and shrugged, “Are you coming or not?”

He dropped the sheets that he’d been taking off the bed and quickly started walking towards you. You laughed and ran to the shower, almost slipping on the tile floor. Auston was right there to catch you though. He grinned and leaned down to kiss you.

“I love you so damn much,” He told you.

“I know,” You whispered.